@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words
cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)
Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.
Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return.
Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them.
He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.
That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates.
Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.
Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word.
Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair.
It’s wonderful.
It's the worst.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.”
Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking.
“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.”
“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.”
Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends.
He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows.
“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.”
It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it.
“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears.
His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp.
“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.”
Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.
“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.”
"What if I take too much?"
"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."
“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does.
Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.
“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.”
The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat.
“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”
Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.
“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.
“I get you. I get everything.”
Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours.
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── .˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ TENSION DEGREE 01
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College roomate!Jungkook x college roomate!reader- fwb 2 Lovers
You find yourself having to share your room with a very sexually active medical science major who so happens to fancy you. Good thing he´s as charming and spontaneous as you, leading to many crazy parties and places you probably should not be hooking up at. When Jungkook started ignoring all his booty calls after accidentally calling someone by your name, unable to fuck away the thought of you, he knew he was cooked. Would he really leave his playboy antics for that sweet company of yours?
series- one!
content: mild slow burn- fwb2l, roomates, mutual pining, player jungkook that falls devoted to reader, cocky!JK, Confident!reader, psychology major reader, banter, parties, lots of smut (duh)
episode- warnings: mention of weed, drugs, alcohol, the word slut
Taglist: @khadeeeeej @ot7stansthings @whoa-jo @smoljjks @stvrlighytt @nono13bnd @jungshaking @junniesoleilkth @deepikhaprakash @rockstryoon @tatamicc @jjeonjjk7 @kookieandjoonberries @jcrl99 @httpjeonlicious @wnteraezz @aphrodyteeth @miniesjams32 @emojkoo @katie-tibo @user-190811 @massivebearharmony @hoseokteardrop @hoseoksluv89 @hoseoksluv90
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"I dont know Jungkook isn't this a little too much?" The mirror in front if you reflects back a clear imagine of you in a very short- barely ass covering- black mini dress.
The occasion for a beautiful, tight black mini dress that ties up in the back with pink silk ribbon, that also has your chest practically spilling out?
Another party your roomate drags you too.
Okay, maybe not drag.
Over the proximity of five months, your charming roomie had become a good friend.
You aren't even sure how it started, maybe the bickering, countless sexual jokes, his ego clashing with yours on the daily or purely that you've spend so much time in the shared dorm,
But Jungkook definitely knew how to match your energy.
From door-dashing food when both of you got high out of your minds, studying for hours together and increasingly stressing each other out to more crazy things, like running from the cops after doing fire crackers in an abandoned building.
You just matched each others freak perfectly.
"If too much means looking sexy then yes, way too much. But you know, nothing to be ashamed of" he answers your previous question, leaning against the doorframe with his muscular arms crossed over his chest.
You shake your head, deciding to just go with the dress.
"Alright, lets go. Who's driving?" He gazes down into your eyes as you walk to the doorframe, heels clicking on the floor with each step.
A small smirk forms on his face, "No one, its a dorm party. Let's both get wasted"
Usually, Jungkook and you agreed that one person always stays sober, to drive back and take care of the other person if something happens.
"I don't wanna drink much Kook, but you let loose eh?" smacking his firm chest, a small giggle leaves your lips.
In return, his eyes go to your chest, pressed together tightly and in perfect view for the taller male to look down into.
His eyes wander back up to your face, every time you giggled it made him want to tease you more
"Sure bunny, but I gotta keep an eye on you if you look this good" the smug look on his face makes you want to scream,
So does the nickname,
It started randomly, kind of
You mentioned that bunnies are your favorite animals, hugging the pink, soft bunny plushie to your chest back when Jungkook and you went to get some stuff for the apartment,
You couldn't help but stop at the sight, plushies always make your heart melt.
He still remembers how soft you looked, adimiring the small plushed animal.
He decided that day to call you bunny, saying that it just suited you,
He also bought you that plushie
You roll your eyes at his teasing comment, looking up into his eyes with a innocent look,
Not failing to notice how good his lip ring looks as he plays with it slightly.
"Oh will you? I think you're just gonna go fuck some random girl again, leave me all alone"
Instinctively, he leans down with the same smug smile still placed over his face.
"Awh.. is bunny jealous? Don't worry, i'll make it quick this time" he winks, patting your head in an effort to mock you
Without getting the chance to say something back, he turns around, walking to the front door with a small laugh leaving his lips.
You decide it's for the better to just walk out with him.
Over the course of these last months, you aren't the only one that got to know Jungkook,
Many, many girls around campus have learned about him in possibly the only way you haven't,
Which is during sex.
It's to no surprise that a very physically attractive, smart and charming guy like Jungkook has girls swooning over him left and right.
Arguably, the fact that he sleeps around quite a lot also shouldn´t come as a surprise.
It did however, take some time to get used to hearing his moans through your paper thin walls,
Sure you were fine with sleeping on the couch like once a week,
Given the fact that you would have to be in the same room, a couple meters apart otherwise.
Sleeping on the very comfy living room couch isn't what bothered you at all,
More so, hearing him tell these girls all sorts of things, hearing his groans and the sound of skin slapping in every lewd way possible.
"You're such a slut"
"Just like that yeah?"
To hear the bed ramming against the wall which each grunt,
Just to go to sleep there the next day, like nothing happend.
It took some time to get used to it.
Get used to the slick running down your inner thighs when you could hear his sounds of pleasure,
Opting for soundproof headphones instead to avoid the need to do something about the way you felt.
Get used to him sending each and every one away after, sometimes crying, explaining that he was honest from the start.
He always told the girls, or so he said he would, that he's just sleeping with them for fun, just once.
One single time only.
Jungkooks has never been the relationship type so he claims,
"I just haven´t really felt more than physical attraction before, and I´m not dying for it either" he revealed in another cross faded open heart conversation, one of many nights.
What's worse is, getting used to him shamelessly flirting and smiling to you after,
As if you wouldn't be just another fuck to him, another girl on his long list, if you were to engage in it with him.
That thought right there, being just another one of his hookups , is precisely why you swore to never sleep with Jungkook, it would change your friendship, the one so perfectly matched.
No matter of ridiculously tempting it is.
The sexual banter would probably stop, given that he "got what he wanted" so to speak,
Even if Jungkook isn't that type of guy, it wouldn't be the same.
"This dorm is huge man what the fuck"
Between the blaring music and some familiar faces, Jungkook's big doe eyes look over the student apartment.
Significantly more spacious than the one on your own, presumably housing 3 people.
"Oh look! Chaewon's here too" you smile, immediately squeezing your way through the crowd to get to her.
"YOU CAMEEE" her bubbly voice rings as she engulfs you in a warm hug,
You laugh, embracing her in the same way she does,
"Wow you look so hot tonight" her mouth lets out a overly dramatic whistle, hands finding their way to your arms.
You smile when her lips form into a flirty smirk, eyes ranking over your figure
"You're one to talk Chae, that skirt is so cute"
It's true, Chaewon's silver mini skirt topped with her black waterfall- neckline top and gorgeous black heels makes for a perfect outfit, only adding to her already present beauty.
If there is one girl in the entire world you would wanna steal the looks from, it would have to be your best friend.
"Oh hi Jungkook" her eyes suddenly dart next to you, where Jungkook is now standing, having his decorated hand clasped around your waist.
You try to ignore how good it feels to have him close,
Chaewon shoots you a look, letting you know she immediately noticed it.
"Hey Chae. Didn't know you were coming" he smiles faintly,
You can't help but watch his eyes, hoping to see if they wander down her body like they normally would if another pretty girl stood in his vicinity.
It never made sense to you, how he hasn't slept with Chaewon yet.
She's stunning, into his looks like most girls on campus and she definitely isn't looking for something serious,
Not even at risk for begging for Jungkook to come back,
Nonetheless, he never once made a move on her.
She points to the kitchen, "I wasn't planning but, Minnie invited me. Want a drink?"
Jungkook and you nod almost perfect in sync, making her laugh and squeeze her way past more people,
You follow behind tightly, now feeling both of Jungkook's hand around your waist as you keep walking,
His breath is suddenly tingling on your neck, softly moving to your ear,
"Gotta make sure i don't lose ya' "
The sound of his voice to closely on to your skin is a sensation that makes you shiver
Every idiot would notice the heavy sexual tension between you two,
You would love to know what it feels like to feel vulnerable below him,
Having him burried inside your own sex and feeling his lips tracing your skin,
But it's of no use, you wouldn't ever give up a friend like him for one time pleasure.
"What do you want?" Chaewon snaps you out of your thoughts, the music is slightly quieter in the kitchen.
Assembled in front of you are lots of bottles, empty solo cups, crates of beer, some strange looking fruity cocktail mixes but most importantly,
A big, full bottle of vodka.
"Four shots, vodka pure please"
Jungkook laughs, leaning against the counter,
"Didn't you say you'd take it easy?" His eyebrow cocks up as he speaks,
"It´s four shots" you reply, rolling your eyes
"You're a lightweight bunny" he winks, turning back to Chaewon
"Give me a moscow mule and i'll be good"
Chaewon smiles, shaking her head as she hands you your first shot
"My pleasure guys"
Four shots quickly turn into four more, the sway of your hips in the music playing, unsure of even the current song, just feeling to good to stop
Feeling the people around you, you keep dancing, maybe stumbling at this point,
Even though you feel your head getting lighter and you're ignoring the burning hurt on your feet from constantly moving on heels,
Nothing mattered with enough shots.
Nothing until you notice that Chaewon,
Who you could feel was just beside you, right there dancing and laughing with you,
Is no where to be found.
Your feet stop momentarily, almost faling over from the sudden halt
Trying to look everywhere between the people, whipping your dizzy head around to find her sitting somewhere, maybe dancing with a guy, maybe mixing another drink
But you can't see her, instead you find the man you came with,
Sitting on a couch with a girl you know you recognize from somewhere, leaning over and whispering something into her ear
Instead of trying to think in your hazy state of mind, you legs are developing a mind on their own, walking over to said couch for who knows what reason,
He smiles at her, rubbing his larger hand over her exposed knee softly,
That's right, you recall now,
She's definitely in your social studies class.
"Kook? Have you seen Chae?" Grabbing a hold of the couch in order not to tumble forward, your words come out slightly slurred.
He removes his hand from her skin, diverting his attention to you,
He seems sober, relatively sober in comparison to your state.
"I think she went upstairs with someone, come sit down you're about to collapse" he pats the other side of where he's sitting, giving you a warm look.
"Actually, we were kind of talking? Is it okay if you sit somewhere else for now?"
Jungkook doesn't take his eyes off you, scoffing as he's standing up from the couch,
She fake smiles briefly, although her eyes look confused,
You think so at least, unable to really make out anything clearly at this point.
"Let's go bunny, we're done here tonight anyways"
With that, you giggle, consumed by the liquor in your system as he escorts you out of the dorm.
Once the cold, july midnight air hits you, you can feel the hairs on your skin stand up,
Legs wabbling, weaker than they were minutes ago distracted by dancing the night away.
You can make out the sound of his laughter, scooting closer to you
"Take your heels off please i don't want you to break any bones"
There is not enough alcohol in the world to make you back down on your pride, sometimes you don't quite trust even your own words,
Like right now,
"No kook i- 'lll be finee" your eyes roll as you begin walking,
"Other direction bunny"
"Right, i knew that"
He shakes his head, wrapping his beautifully painted arm around your naked shoulders, making sure that you really don't go breaking any bones.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
"Remind me why i drank again" your groans catch the attention of Jungkook standing in the kitchen.
Being awake from the sensation of a pounding headache isn't exactly pleasant, even worse when you feel dirty from not having showered the night before.
Automatically, your aching feet take you to the kitchen for a glass of water,
"I thought you died, its literally 2pm" he says while stirring the big pot placed on the counter,
You lean over curiously,
"What'cha making?"
Jungkook grabs two bowls, filling the first one up and sliding it over to you.
"Hangover soup of course, look at your state miss" he puts a spoon in the bowl before pinching your nose,
You punch his arm lightly, inhaling the delicious scent of the boiling hot soup bowl in front of you,
"Thank you kook. What about you? No hangover?"
"Nah. After i saw you taking your sixth shot i figured it's better if someone is stable enough to find the way home" he laughs softly while filling his own bowl.
"Awhhh you're such a sweetheart" you tease, making a pouty face at him, just to piss him off.
He shakes his head, sitting down at the living room table to begin eating a very late breakfast.
With a birdsnest in your hair and the smell of a party, maybe eating is allowed to come second.
"Gonna shower first i feel gross" your arms stretch over your head while you yawn,
There is no state of embarrassment Jungkook hasn't seen over five months, looking like a hot mess doesn't phase you anymore.
He eyes you up and down, a fake judging look in his eyes.
"You smell gross too"
You roll your eyes, "That's why im showering now idiot" you shout from inside the bathroom, already having walked your way over there as he talked.
Ah, it felt so nice to stand under the warm water,
To rinse yourself from the smell of sweat and alcohol and replace it with vanilla,
Feeling the headache slowly fade into the background.
To comb through your wet hair, making it soft with a hair mask.
To step out, dry yourself off and slip into fresh clothes.
"Wait"
You look around the bathroom, wrapped in a tiny towel over your half wet and naked figure,
Noticing that you failed to bring new clothes inside the bathroom, having been too occupied with showering fast to go and eat Jungkook's brunch.
"Jungkook!" You shout, hoping he can hear,
"Yeah?" He shouts back, still sitting at your dining table, kind of expecting the worst.
Usually when you shout his name like that it´s never good.
"I forgot my clothes! Can you bring me some?"
He gets up immediately, sighing in relief "What do you need?"
You think for a second, of course he's seen your laundry before, you gave up on separating the clothes long time ago.
However, you made sure to always keep the more.. sexy underwear in your care.
"Nevermind i"ll get it myself" you shout again, at which he groans
"I'm literally on my way, give me three minutes"
And so he does, walking into your guy's room, to open your side of the closet.
Grabbing a random shirt and a pair of joggers, then reaching down to the underwear drawer like it's second nature to him.
He rummages through the unorganized pile of socks and bra's, to find a pair of boyshorts he's seen about two billion times before.
Until he stops in his tracks, stumbling across something that made him bite his lip softly.
He grabs the pair of white, lacy panties that he's just discovered. A little silver heart pendant in the front, barely any material that isn't see through.
His mind runs quickly, thinking about you with nothing but these panties on.
His physical atrraction to you isn't a secret to him either,
Then again, he is attracted to practically any girl.
"What's taking so long i'm fucking freezing" you shout, still inside the bathroom,
Praying that he isn´t inspecting your lingerie.
He shakes his head, deciding to tease you just a little, hiding the panties inside the shirt he chose.
When you hear the footsteps approaching outside the bathroom, you open the door just enough to stick your arm outside.
"Thanks koo" you say while he hands you the clothes, a small smirk already creeping it's way up his face at the thought of your face when you see them,
And the fact that that's what's gonna be underneath your sweats once you walk out.
Finally, you take the clothes in hand, already annoyed when you can't find any underwear,
"Don't tell me he didn´t get me any" you sigh to yourself,
Until,
"This annoying little-",
The pair of your precious white panties falls to the floor.
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