#as Ive said before I like to think that they are physically and mentally quite young and mostly act on what motions theyve taken before

[arolesbianism]

Anyways incorporating new saint hcs into my semi au Sliver lore means that now saint gets to continuously experience ascending Sliver forever 👍

[arach-tinilith]

6, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 15 for naady!!

Thank you!!!

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

Very funny you should ask bc i am writing a modern fic about her as we speak (which i shall shamelessly plug here) BUT to answer your question i think she'd be a paralegal for criminal defense

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?

Naadja really enjoys sword fighting! She's not great at it, and being the perfectionist she is it's hard for her not to excel in something immediately. But she really enjoys the mechanics of fencing and is proficient from her years of training in her youth.

She also likes embroidery, a skill that helped her when she needed to mend clothes. Her cloaks are covered in little embroidered moths because they actually are mended tearing 

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?

Naadja, despite her very high constitution, takes horrible care of herself. I think she just relies on being naturally healthy but she's quite negligent on hygiene and pushes herself way too far. She hardly trances, she eats poorly (surface food nauseates her), and she rarely exercises.

The tadfools actually stage an intervention (led by Gale and Wyll) because she's just chilling in crud 24/7

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

Great question! Naadja does not handle her mental health in the slightest!

She basically ignores anything that's ever happened to her in hopes that the problem will just ~go away~

And usually that manifests into a full body shut down where she absolutely can't process anything upsetting OR she finds a way to sexualize it and recontextualize it

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

Honestly I've always loved the bratty noble archetype. I didn't have one in particular that came to mind but i knew i wanted her to be spoiled and insufferable 

15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?

Yes! Ive said it before but i kind of imagine Naadja to be another origin character that the player gets to decide if she ascends or gets the morally good ending. I personally think both options would be satisfying for Naadja whether she goes back to the underdark or stays in Baldur's Gate 

[northopalshore]

hi gaia i was just wondering if you have the same weird feeling i did at first when you started learning about love astrology. because ive become quite good at predicting and know so much about my future spouse it almost makes me afraid it wont happen? do you have any thoughts or advice?

I think in general, fear can be a common occurrence within the community. In my case, it started with intrigue. Though the more things started to align & prove itself I started to fear it was all in my head.

Not a lot of us were born into a family or culture or even country open to the idea of occultism or astrology, so we start to doubt our knowledge. Because humans are creatures of habit, we will just revert to the same old structure when we step into new grounds; i.e mundane logic, & sciences following the effects of the Age of Enlightenment.

However, to some degree I believe it's a part of your spiritual growth/journey. Challenging our need for control, provoking our insecurities, testing our limits. It's not fun lol. But it's worth it in the end.

We live & we die, the cycle continues. Whether physically or mentally.

Allow me to trademark the saying; it's like playing chess with the universe.

A guru/ parental figure, an older being that knows more than you, who only wants you to learn & grow. In every stage of life, you'll play with them.

In the "child phase", we start getting intrigued by their game.

In the "adolescent phase", we start getting better at the game, developing an ego or attachment to it. Here, we are rather rebellious as well. As we get better at it, the game gets harder & harder. This is the most difficult stage. Going through all the motions in life.

In the "adult" phase, we are now able to understand the true intentions of our "'opponent'; the universe.

Throughout life, we constantly learn & evolve through our perspectives.

If you're anything like me, you might have come to hate the phrase "Divine timing" at some point too lmaoo.

"like; B*tch I know it's divine timing, but wheeennn?" Then the universe will hit me with the 'brick of knowledge' as I'd like to call it, straight to the back of my head i.e more evidence lol. Now, I know so much I feel crazy. The universe is always very generous w me.

But I don't hate it anymore (even if it's not my favourite to hear),

As I said before, I am enlightened™ ✨ or at least sane enough to keep going.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

I hope my analogy makes sense or is at least coherent lol. Hope this helps!

@northopalshore advice (yaps) 2024.

[gods-of-kanto]

Mono @ SM! Ash

"So... I heard that you sometimes have... (Ugh... what was the word...?) "Moments" I guess? Where you can only see Aura? (I hope I said that right.) How exactly do you deal with that?"

He pauses

"Also, what exactly do you ask someone if their aura isn't quite human OR Pokemon? How would you bring that up to them?"

It seems he doesn't know much about Aura, let alone his own abilities.

[Ngl I didn't know how to word this and I was kinda just winging it I hope it doesn't sound weird]

Ash: I think ive explained this before or Peach has, either one of us but-

Ash: There is no such thing as other aura. Theres aura, no aura or dead aura.

Ash: Dead Aura isnt what you think it is. It's not red or pink or any other color you can think of. It's just a Very desaturated blue only within Ghost pokemon. They arent living, but they arent dead. Aura is within living creatures and Ghost Pokemon are still alive in a sense, hence why they have 'Dead Aura'

Ash: If it showcases in any other color or if it looks weird, take them to a hospital. They more than likely have a sickness or disease within the physical body. Unfortunately, Aura doesnt have any indication on mental illnesses.

Ash: If a living person is starting to showcase Dead Aura, take them to a hospital and start with your last goodbyes.

Ash: As for dealing with this, Its literally just adjustment periods. The washes of blue are harsh on the eyes. Just be careful abd dont move until you can either see again or when the aura doesnt hurt anymore.

[bihansthot]

I’m probably not going to be around much today lovelies, as I mentioned earlier in the week it’s the 25th anniversary of my heart transplant and ngl it’s weird. I’m in a weird place today, I’m trying really hard not to be sad or upset or think about how traumatic that night was. I don’t remember a lot about the night but I remember the phone ringing late at night maybe just after midnight and I remember going into my parents bedroom, they didn’t have to come get me, and I said “it’s time”, I just knew it as soon as I heard the phone and they confirmed it and we relatively calmly got our stuff and drove to the hospital. I had no idea what I was getting into and had I known, I would have not reacted as calmly as I did. I remember they had to draw blood before the procedure to use during the operation, I remember it taking over 25 attempts to get all the blood they needed and I was sobbing, I was in so much pain and I absolutely hated getting my blood drawn as a kid and while 14 isn’t exactly a little kid anymore it’s certainly not an adult either. I still remember the nurse who was there with us, she had a very distinct, raspy voice despite being quite young and to this day people with that type of voice bring back this very unpleasant memory. I don’t remember anything after the blood draw, they give you medication to help you forget traumatic operations and it doesn’t get much more traumatic than a heart transplant. I don’t really remember much of recovery either, I do remember how painful it was when they made me walk though. I wanted to go home and they said I had to walk to the end of the hall to go home and if I couldn’t do it they would keep me at the hospital another day. You better believe I dragged all my various IVs and monitors down that hallway in an instant. My incision was bleeding afterwards and I felt like I was going to collapse but I held that shit together like the stubborn ass I am and gave them a smile and told them it was nothing and I was ready to go. Shockingly they didn’t notice the bloody incision or my clear exhaustion and I was allowed to go home after only 7 days which at the time was a record. The weeks and months that followed were absolute agony, a heart transplant is a ridiculously painful procedure the only time I’ve ever been in more physical pain is when I threw up from my painkillers after having my tricuspid valve replaced 10 years ago. It was awful, I couldn’t even wash myself, I had to have my mother give me a bath like I was a five year old and that was humiliating but I couldn’t do anything about it, it was just too painful to move my arms to wash myself when my whole sternum had been ripped open and was now held together by twist ties and super glue. Then there was the near constant pain from the weekly biopsies to check for rejection, they basically jam a catheter into your neck and then rip little chunks of your heart out to check to make sure your body isn’t rejecting the organ. On top of all that I gained so much weight from the medications and steroids I was on and my mother was an absolute monster about it. We had a very bad very toxic relationship during this time, she ridiculed me constantly but I depended on her for so much that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was so miserable and wanted nothing more than to die. I don’t want to get to into it though but it was really hard so trying to think positively about today is really difficult but on the positive side of things I’m still here. I made it through all that hardship, all that struggle, all that physical and mental anguish. I survived. For 25 years I have survived and while everyday hasn’t been easy, I didn’t give up. I guess I deserve to celebrate that at least even if I don’t like dwelling on all the misery I’ve endured. So, happy anniversary me, you’ve done the best you could and deserve a nice celebration. I know a lot of you lovelies aren’t going to read this but if you do, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me outside of being a horny Bi-Han fangirl. 💙

[ichijager13]

Teach me how to be loved

Chapter IV

For a little piece of heaven

Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader

Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger.

Tags: Unhealthy copping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating and a touch of sweet, lovable and non fuckboy Eren Jäger

Masterlist, AO3,  Playlists : Reader’s POV, Eren’s POV

A/N: Hello, first of all, I would like to thank you for reading my story and for all the support you are giving the fic. it warms my heart and motivates me to give you more. From now on I will update the story twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays.

PS: I am not a german speaker so if you ever spot tippos don't hesitate to let me know.

You readjusted your glasses for the hundredth time this afternoon. You spent most of the day in your study working on your latest project. Tapping your bottom lip with your pencil you tried to decide if the design was put together or if you need to open a new file and start all over again. You were so far gone in your thoughts when you heard your phone buzzing. Someone was calling you, Eren was calling you.

“Hello”. You spoke massaging your blurry eyes.

“Hey, how are you doing?” You felt micro shockwaves creeping up your spine when you heard his deep voice from the other end of the line.

“Fine, how about you?” You replied after what seemed to be an eternity to you.

“Doing well, thanks. So, about the sketchbook”. You closed your laptop and focused on his voice. “Does tomorrow work for you?”

“Yeah, I’ll be at work”.

“At what time do you finish?”

“4 PM”.

“Okay, I’ll text you before I come”. He added before wishing you a good evening and hanging up.

You spent the rest of your Sunday trying to finish your assignment.

 Once he finished signing all the papers his secretary left him and all his meetings, he left his office heading to his best friend’s company. He sent you a message as soon as he arrived. “I’m at the parking lot”. The message read.

You were about to leave your desk when you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket. Once outside, your eyes scanned the parking lot looking for him. Frowning, you pulled out your phone.

You were about to call and ask where he was when you heard a panting voice coming from behind you. “I was on the other side. I saw you heading this way”. He tried to catch his breath before handing you a paper bag. “I went through it; I hope you don’t mind”. He confessed watching you flipping the pages of the notebook before putting it back inside the paper bag. Your lips curved up when you noticed the box of chocolate he slipped inside the bag.

“No, I don’t”. you looked up at him. “Thank you, it’s my favorite”. You followed.

“You are quite talented”.

“Thank you, Euh… I was thinking…”. You mentally kicked yourself for stuttering. “I would love to… Can I offer you a drink or something to thank you for bringing it back”. You were shifting the bag from one hand to another. “If you are free, of course”. You spoke consciously giving your brain the chance to process each word you uttered.

“I know a quiet place not far from here”. He had to double his efforts to repress the smile threatening to make its way across his lips when he noticed you were slightly blushing.

“Lead the way”. You mumbled.

 “You know I thought you were Annie’s friend”. He spoke, after ordering. “I didn’t know you work for Armin”.

“I am in fact, friends with Annie, we used to work together before she got married”. You clarified. “We know each other for six years now”. you followed. “I met Armin through her, and though they firmly deny it, I’m positive she suggested for him to hire me”.

As the hours tick away, you understood why you never could resist him. Eren was a cheerful person and fun to be around. The conversation was reaching an interesting point when you were interrupted by his ringtone. “You can take it, I don’t mind”, Noting he was hesitating, you said smiling.

He flashed you a smile before taking the call. “Halo, mutty… Was ist los? (Hello, mom… what’s wrong?)” He asked alarmed. “Wo? (Where?)” Another silence. “I’m on my way, mach dir keine Sorgen. (Don’t worry)”. He added. “I’m sorry, I have an emergency, I need to go”. He spoke after he hung up. “I’ll make it up for you later, I promise”. He followed standing up and you simply nodded. He shot you an apologetic smile before paying for your consumption and leaving the coffee shop.

 “Good evening, I’m here for a patient, a young girl, she arrived minutes ago, a four-year-old girl”. Words were spilling out of his mouth.

“Name please”. The receptionist asked.

“Sophie Jäger”. He nervously tapped his food.

“Yes, she arrived ten minutes ago, sir. The doctor is seeing her now”.

“Where?”

“I’m afraid you can’t…”

“I’m her father”. Losing his calm, he cut her and handed her his ID.

“The second stand on your left”. She replied.

 “There, there sweetheart”. The nurse cooed. “We will be done in a minute”.

“Vater”. The girl’s eyes welled up with tears when he came into her field of view.

“It’s alright, mein liebling. Ich bin hier jetzt (I’m here now)”. He kneeled in front of his daughter holding her small hands. “I’m her father”. He spoke to the nurse doing her bandages.

“There’s nothing to be worried about, Mr. Jäger. The doctor has prescript a pain killer and medicine in case she got a fever”. She caressed the girl’s hair smiling fondly. “The cut needs to be cleaned every two days”. she glanced at the dark-haired man facing her and then at the middle-aged woman. “Accidents like this happen often, right Mrs. Jäger? She will be alright”. She smiled when Carla nodded.

“But her face is swollen”. His voice was filled with concern.

“It’s a normal reaction. It will be gone in no time”. She reassured him. “And we’re done, you are a brave girl, Sophie”. She offered the toddler candy before handing the prescription to Eren. “See you on Wednesday”. She smiled at her once again before heading to the next patient.

“What happened?” Eren asked Carla.

“Sie spielte mit ihrem Fahrrad, als sie hinfiel. (She was playing with her bicycle when she fell)”. His mom answered helping her granddaughter put on her jacket. “Ich war drinnen, als es passierte. (I was inside when it happened)”. She added smoothing her hair before pecking her cheek. “Ich eilte nach draußen, als ich sie weinen hörte. Zum Glück war Sieg zu Hause. He drove us here. (I rushed outside when I heard her crying. Luckily, Sieg was home)”. She looked up at her son. “It was him who did her stitches”.

He pressed his lips to his mother’s forehead before picking up his daughter. “How about we go home? Ich bleibe über Nacht. (I will stay over tonight)”. He said cheerfully.

“Will you read me a story?” Sophie stared at her father with big pleading green eyes.

“Of course, my princess”. Once in the car, he sent his brother a message thanking him and letting him know they are leaving. “wer will Eis? (Who wants ice cream?)” He asked leaving the parking lot. Both grandmother and daughter rose their hands, lips curved into a bright smile.

 “Vatty”.

“Ja, mein hase?” he ran a hand across her face checking her temperature, relieved she doesn’t have a fever.

“Tell me a story about mutty”. She asked.

He put her to bed and tucked her blanket under her chin before taking a deep breath. Sophie didn’t get the chance to know her mother who passed away during labor. Alongside Armin, Mikasa was Eren’s childhood friend. They all grew up together and eventually, Eren fell in love with her. They got married after Mikasa graduated from school and a year later Sophie was born.

While she had her father’s bright eyes, Sophie was the spitting image of her mother.

“See the plushie that looks a little like me?” He pointed at a toy set on her nightstand, she nodded. “deine Mutter hat es für mich gemacht. Wir waren in deinem Alter. (it’s your mother who made it for me. we were your age)”. Amazed, her eyes sparkled. “Your grandma was good at sewing, that’s how Mikasa learned”.

“Und oma?”

“No, she’s not”. He snickered. “aber das soll unter uns bleiben. (But this should stay between us)”. He whispered, trying to sound serious.

“Okay”. She giggled.

“Do you pinky promise?”

“Ja”. She held her finger to seal the promise. “Vatty”. He hummed in response checking her bandages. “Sleep in bed with me, bitte (please)”.

“Okay, Lass mich einfach meinen Schlafanzug anziehen. (Just let me put on my pajamas)”. She nodded visibly happy.

“Still up?” He frowned noticing his mother was still in the living room.

“I was waiting for you”. she answered. “schläft sie? (Is she sleeping)” he bobbed his head taking place on the opposite sofa. “Es ist schon eine Weile her, seit du hier übernachtet hast. (It’s been a while since you spent the night here)”. She added.

“sie bat mich, ihr eine geschichte über Mikasa zu erzählen. (She asked me to tell her a story about Mikasa)”. He closed his eyes. “I told Ymir I’m taking the day off tomorrow”. He followed.

“That would be nice”. Carla commented. “Er vermisst dich sehr. (She misses you a lot)”.

“Ich vermisse sie auch aber mein Zeitplan lässt es nicht zu.... (I miss her too but my schedule does not allow me to…)”.

“I know, liebling”. She cut him. “Go back before she wakes up”. she offered him a genuine smile.

“Gutte nacht”. He pecked her temple before going upstairs.

 After checking once more his child’s temperature he slipped under the blanket next to her. Feeling her father’s presence, Sophie let go of her plushie -the one Mikasa made for him- and scooted closer. She buried her face in his neck mumbling undistinguished words. He caressed her dark locks smiling. “Schlaf gut, mein Hase, Daddy ist hier, um dich zu beschützen. (Sleep well, my bunny, daddy is here to protect you)”.

Drifting to sleep, he remembered you. he smiled recalling your flushed cheeks when you invited him. he made a mental note to text you tomorrow morning.

[angeldiaries777]

trigger warning mental health, online addiction. personal stuff!!! i don't want to post anymore. part one of two.

i don't want to try so hard anymore. going to be real here for a sec i don't like my life. i don't like who i am. i don't like this app. i don't like this world or any of the people in it. i do need help. i need a lot of help. i don't like this blog anymore. its not fun. its not carefree. its just something i do now subconsciously with zero effort. its not me. its not cool. i don't like it. i'm not enjoying it at all. since i deleted quite literally every other app this is where i go on for everything. and thats just toxic. i am not having fun like i said a thousand times before. i just want my thoughts and things i liked at the time to be docutmented somehwere on some account because i know i will forget. i am very miserable in my life and with myself. i know that i need to stop using this app as much as i do and same with a few others and certain accounts on websites i just have nothing left in me. i've always posted online. ive always interacted online. i've always been obsessed with watching content and consuming media books movies shows music etc etc. and i'm feeling fatigue from it. idk how many more fucking lana del rey gifs i can reblog till i lose my fucking shit for good and end it all. everything that inspired me is dull. the relationships and parasocial relationships i form with celebrities characters and people online is just plain unhealthy. especially when its causing me to ignore the ones i have in real life. i need a break. i need a break from all the media i consume. i need a break from music and from tumblr and from everything else that is slolwly rotting my brain. the attachment i have to these apps is unhealthy. the amount of time i spend on my phone or ipad or literally any other device is actually sickly. i need a break from looking at or even just holding my phone for so many hours a day. i need an actual sleep schedule and i need to not wake up at 4am and have my first thought be to open tumblr or to save pins on pinterest. i got rid of so many physical items and cut off so many people but the actual thing hurting me the most is my addiction to the internet and to media. i need to stop posting. i need to stop interacting i need to stop watching videos and movies and listening to music at the rates that i do. it is unhealthy at best and detrimental to my life and health at worst. its like those interventions they have for people with alcohol or other addictions. ive known this about myself for a long time and it only worsens the more time passes. i have issues!!!!! i have real issues in my real life that will not be solved by venting about it to my 8 followers. i need to stop. i need to sit alone with my thoughts without a podcast or an album playing in the background. i need to see what my life is like and who i am without all of this. without the things i thought i liked. the things i thought were keeping me alive and sane and healthy were actually the most destructive. i need to stop relying so heavily on things that don't exist. all these pictures and people are fake. i"m not a character or a stereotype. im a fucking person. whenever i got a negative comment i used to lay awake thinking about that. its not okay anymore. its affecting my life way too much. i don't want to think of the world and only think of what i see online because i don't love my reality. i don't want to be sad anymore. i don't want to know what that person across the world thinks of that topic or what kim kardashian had for breakfast. i want to actually live my life again for what it is and not what i wished it was. because truth be told i am very blessed in sooo many ways and i take it for granted so often. i am so much more than that sad face emoticon on somebodys phone screen. i don't want to see the same pictures of bella hadid on every fucking app with the same generic text and font over it. i don't want to consume copious amounts of self help content anymore whilst refusing to actually do any of that self help when im clearly not qualified and clearly need professional help.

[nialltlynch]

whooooo okay uhhh here's what i have for these. (and TECHNICALLY that should be ashley one and ashley two since ive already posted three but wahhhhhhhtever)

my wip fridge: the post

niall mor greenmantle piper cheating au - sorry !!!! i don't really have a snippet but basic vibes are very much some reality tv show full of the most annoying people you can think of except they meet up at a magical black market. i also have it in my head that mor, niall, and greenmantle are all vaguely the sameish age but piper is a good decade younger. (she has a vibrant social circle outside of them.) theyre not a polycule because theyre rancid and niall and mor keep saying theyre catholic and piper wouldn't want to be associated with the rest of them outside of the fairy market !!!! uhhhhm basically niall is the physical embodiment of "boobs in my mouth boobs in my mouth boobs in my mouth youre NOTHING", mor is constantly suicide baiting him (often while theyre fucking), greenmantle wants so desperately to be liked but unfortunately hes from BALTIMORE, and piper is a wannabe influencer who could totally blow the cover of the whole magical black market thing if anyone took her seriously. (she's been shadowbanned for having a dildo shaped thing in the background of one many of her photos (absolutely a dildo but that's beside the point)).

jordan blue thing (may have posted some of this before idr)

Jordan had seen Blue Sargent naked before she'd even learned her name.  

They met in a figure drawing class which did wonders for Jordan's wandering late night imagination.  Little forays that paid off during the day when Jordan came to paint.  She had pictured the arch of Blue's back and the fullness of her thighs pressed together.  There were hours where Jordan spent trying to mentally capture light falling on Blue's breasts.  

Always with an academic mind, of course.  Definitely.  When she thought of running her hands along her skin it was purely for the way Blue would react.  What color were her cheeks when she's flushed?  Was her skin soft?  Giving?  And those lips.  What did they taste of?  Mint?  Cherries?

Jordan sighed as the class came to an end.  Before the piece had been a collection of lines and shadows, her gaze too close and critical, but now, with the bell ringing, she takes a step back.She looked at her drawing: eyes downcast, shoulder shrugged in coy invitation, the curve of the back slightly exaggerated.  She couldn't quite get the hair right.  Not spiky enough, her mind supplied unhelpfully.  Jordan compared the drawing to the subject: dark brown eyes that couldn't be properly captured in charcoal and -

She was looking straight at Jordan.

Blue had shrugged on the tatty old robe and tied it loosely.  Jordan smiled and put away her supplies.

"You're the best one in class," Blue said it loud enough for other students to hear.  She didn't even bother with side eye.  Just a full on defiant what are you going to do about it look.  When the students left she turned back to Jordan and gestured to one of the easels and leaned in conspiratorially.  "There's no way I'm that toned.  A shame?  Maybe.  But it's the truth."

Jordan felt a laugh bubble up in her throat.  She made a study of Blue, not bothering to hide the way she was clearly checking her out.  "Call it artistic liberties."

"When you draw me," Blue said as she came around behind Jordan to look at her work.  "You get it.  There are things about me worth the attention and sometimes it seems like you're the only one who notices."

They turned their attention to Jordan's unfinished drawing.  Jordan wondered if Blue could tell how Jordan lingered on the lips.  The neck.  The eyes.

"I'll finish you off someday," Jordan said.  When she looked at Blue she noticed how her robe had fallen just slightly off her shoulder.  A stupid thing to notice.  A little break of skin.  Jordan had an eyeful of naked Blue on display only moments ago.  She swalllowed.

"You busy tonight?" Blue asked, turning suddenly.  "We always do this thing Wednesday nights, you want in?  Just a couple drinks.  No pressure."

Jordan thought about her apartment and the unfinished paintings drying on the walls.  Most nights were spent lost among these things, half inside her own head and half arguing with Hennessy about nothing and everything.  She couldn't remember the last time she had let herself chill or hang or whatever people called it these days.

Blue scribbled her number on an extra piece of scrap paper - this one was splattered with oils and paints that stained Blue's fingers when she pulled away.

adam and mr gray

"It's rather late for questions, Mr. Parrish," Mr. Gray says.  

Without saying anything, Adam presses the collection of papers and clippings and evidence into Mr Gray's hands.  Presented without comment. 

Mr. Gray is an interesting specimen.  The very first thing Adam had noticed about the man was his insistence on consistency.  Unflappable in a way that Adam originally had attributed to a career languishing in professorship but Mr. Gray dismissed that immediately.  His hair was gray (prematurely Adam decided after tracing the line of his jaw with his eyes for the entire first class session), he had broad shoulders and a slight limp on his left side that he was usually very good at hiding unless he had been standing in one spot for more than five or so minutes.  Which he was careful never to do.  Adam had found himself fascinated from the first.  Mr. Gray was smart and easy going but there had been something else in there as well.

Adam watches him now flip through the various bits of evidence Adam had collected over the ten days of panic over Ronan.  The tiny scuff on the surface, perfectly concealed except to an eye that was looking. Mr. Gray keeps his face mostly clear of any indication of anything at all (Adam watches his jaw closely for he knows that's where Mr. Gray keeps most of his emotions) until he reaches the very end.  Adam swallows.  He hopes it's enough.

"What do you want?" Mr. Gray finally asks, looking up.

"Resources," Adam says. 

Mr. Gray fully opens the door and allows Adam inside.  Adam's never been inside his office, never had much use for it.  It's deceptively sparse except for a grand bookcase stocked tastefully with books exactly like one would expect.  It's the trinkets that line the top shelf that catch Adam's eye.  To any one else, student or colleague, they would seem to be the collection of a somewhat quirky professor.  GIfts, maybe.  Things bought on a whim with a story gladly told but closer inspection shows Adam waht they really are.

Trophies.

Expensive things taken from hits to serve as a reminder of what life might have been.  Used to be.  Life outside of the office?

ashley 2 (actually 1)

"Okay, on three, ready? One, two - I'm gay."

Declan does not abide the rules. He looks at her with the same inconcievable confusion he always wears, his salad all skewered and dressed on his tiny fork and halfway up to his gaping mouth.

"You were supposed to tell me you're gay, too! Twinsies!"

"I am not gay," Declan says lowly, looking furtively around them.

"The warehouse," Ashley prompts. "Mr. What Do You Know About Welsh Kings? If every man in the world were built like that then maybe I wouldn't have strayed the straight and narrow but come on. Are you really not out yet? Not even to yourself? Baby, listen, you're gay."

He gently sets his fork down and crumples the fabric napkin in his fists.

"Can you just break up with me like a normal person?" he takes her hand and clasps it around her water glass. "Get it out of your system. Throw it at me and be done with it."

Ashley does not abide the rules. She tugs her hand from his, splashing a bit of water on his hands, and drinks all the sparkling water in one go.

"This was a great idea," she says. "I do love lobster."

ashley 3 (actually 2)

When pressed, Ashley might say that the happiest high of her relationship with Declan Lynch had not been the extravagent peacocking in the form of expensive dinners and pretty trinkets for her wrists and nceck.  The happiest high is a specific slice of a moment, golden hour or burgeoning dawn she can't remember, with Declan's arm draped casually along her back, hand tucked in a possessive laziness at her waist.  Ashley, when pressed, can't recall much more detail than that.  Nothing about what they might have been wearing or why or even really where they were.  There had been a snapshot of a moment where she remembered being at his side and getting a glimpse of something more than had been previously promised.

The problem with this high is that is likely had never happened.   The details too fuzzy, the things coming to light too on point.  It could have been a fabrication of a story of a memory of an old ad seen once in passing along the winding highway leading toward a city.  Ashley's never followed any of the highways into the glitz and glamor for fear of where they might lead but she did exactly once and it led her here.

Ashley can't believe what she's seeing so she calls him.  He says her name neutrally when he answers.  Short and perfunctory like a bad stage read.

"You've canceled on my every night this week.  You know what?  No.  No, I don't want to hear anymore of your excuses."

Declan is silent on the other end.  Stewing, no doubt.  Jaw tight and the muscles along it clenching down until he can't speak or move.  It's a look she's seen on him before, one very common in the Declan facial expression lexicon, one she can hear without sight.  The line dies and so the image of Declan with it.  Ashley gathers herself for another night spent much the same as the others.  All around her are the boxes organized prettily stacked against the walls, waiting for something that won't ever come.  Ashley can relate to that.

In some ways, the city hasn't been anything like her expectations at all.  In others, she feels like she should've known so much better.  It would be a very simple thing to to resent the place and yet Ashley can't quite muster up the courage.

She had taken all of her savings to follow Declan out here, a choice that at the time had seemed lifted from one of those romantic movies he dutifully watched with her some nights.  Maybe it came from the same place in her mind as her happiest moments with him.  That same script of lies.  Ashley wishes she could go back and grab her younger self, dig her fingers into her pliable shoulders, and shake and shake and shake.  She could imagine it, going back and trying to talk sense into her.  She knows she would never listen.

Declan is barely worth it.  There's a certain thread of surprsie at how easily Ashley is able to find the conclusion and hold it as her own but the more she repeats it in her head - barely worth it Declan is barely worth it Declan is barely worth it Declan is Declan is Declan Declan Declan - the easier it is to come to terms with.

Ashley wakes up the next morning to a blurb of a text.  The preview reads everything she needs to know.  

Ashley - it has been a pleasure knowing you but I'm afraid it's over.  Kindly

She isn't sure if this is the world's most droll suicide note or if she should be expecting a severence package in three to five business days.  Her minds wander the dark places where this is in fact a suicide letter.  The notifications.  The funeral.  The explanations she would have to give to his family.  Oh, we broke up, actually.  I was going to propose.  It wasn't serious.  He was my everything.  Are you his mother?  I don't think we've ever met.

It takes Ashley until the end of the evening to finally read the message in its entirety.  In the time between seeing it and reading the whole thing she managed to unpack her entire apartment, find her way to a cheap take out place only a couple blocks away, and fight with the porter about losing her key.  She entertains scenarios about what the text could be. The truth is, as is often the case, a disappointment.

Ashley - it has been a pleasure knowing you but I'm afraid it's over.  Kindly remove me from your contacts and refrain from contacting me again.  Warm regards - Declan L.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hii !!!

just got done reading the new SITH chapter & RAHHH CORDELIA IVE MISSED HER SMMM she’s exactly what the mc needs rn, a nice breath of fresh air & someone she can talk to even tho cordelia won’t understand much of her trauma like colt & friedrich can. nonetheless, cordelia is that female best friend that the mc needs :)) even tho she’s got her boys who will do anything for her & will listen to her talk abt anything, i definitely think she could use some girl time & a break from all the war talk. i’m already loving their friendship :))

i loved the understanding between the mc & marek. them being able to understand the brutality of the war & realizing they’re more alike than they thought at first glance makes that entire scene all the more heart wrenching. through their faults & trauma, they see each other as ppl who have been hurt by war & see beauty in each other despite heinous war crimes & irreversible burn scars. truly a beautifully written scene!!

& even tho there was a lack of canon characters this chapter, i still loved it!! the trio got their much needed break before they’re thrown back into more emotional, mental, & physical trauma. i’ve probably said this before lmfao, but i just love the trio’s dynamic sm & they mean the world to me <33 despite everything they go through, they’ll have each other & that’s just smth so dear to me.

i hope ur doing well & having a great week so far! mine has been pain filled due to starting volleyball practice & not having used my leg muscles in awhile haha. it’s been a bit hard for me to walk, much less run, so i’ve been taking it easy & going slow to build up my muscles again lmao! even if my legs feel like they’re falling off, i’ll push through! 🥲

— 🪐

HIII!! you’re so right honestly cordelia is so sweet and normal y/n really needs someone like that in her life to like balance out how traumatic every other facet of her existence is now 😭 and of course colt and friedrich care about her so much but lowkey she needs a friend who isn’t in love with her if that makes sense 😫

the mc and marek scene was honestly a spur of the moment decision!! the reason this chapter took so long was because i kept rewriting it and not liking how it was turning out. in the earliest drafts the mc’s depression had actually spiraled to the point that general magath straight up had to intervene because it counted as “destruction of marleyan property” 😨 also marek was such a jerk originally i’m going to be honest 💀 but i settled on this instead and ended up really liking it so i’m glad you do too!! and that’s what i was hoping would come across for them…while yes the mc is notorious for pulling guys left and right, marek wasn’t really supposed to be an example of that. it was a complicated scene to pull off so it’s good to hear you think I did so successfully 🤞🏻

there’s about five more chapters of a “break” in the sense that we’re not quite back to straight trauma yet but at the same time, the events of those chapters are…events?? like there are things going on, characters being introduced, dynamics shifting, etc etc. it’s less focused on the mc’s internal struggle and more on the relationships between several different characters which I think will be interesting!! although the trio won’t be together quite as much in the next mini-arc, the ones after that will provide plenty of them together so it shouldn’t be too long before they’re back in action

my week has been alright!! i live in the USA so we had the time switch last week and honestly my body has not adjusted yet which means the mornings have been awful recently 😭 good luck with volleyball!! I know the feeling of being out of condition it sucks sm 🙁 listen to your body and don’t push yourself too too hard!! it’s important to relax too.

[tera-91]

The Last (hopefully) Rant of the Year

Honestly I feel like I am getting close to my breaking point … again.

The stress of everything is just, I feel like its affecting my health. Both mentally and physically.

The last 2 weeks have been a rollercoaster. One that just pisses me off. So the manager had me at almost full time hours. I didn’t complain. At least not until I was scheduled outside of the availability that I have had for over a year. I told that manager over and over again but they still insisted on scheduling me outside that availability.

It wasn’t my finest hour but during one of the shifts I told them I had to leave because of my availability. I couldn’t stay the whole shift. They told me to leave so I did.

This manager proceeded to make the next schedule. Not only did they schedule me outside of my availability they also scheduled me for just 2 days that the hours equaled just a days work. I spoke to a coworker to try to trade so next thing I know the schedule is changed. This was nice because I was now in my availability but still under what use to be one days hours. I thought if I leave it alone it will get better.

IT DID NOT GET BETTER.

The next schedule came out. This @(&*%&* has me scheduled for half of one singular day for the whole schedule. FOR THE WHOLE BLOODY SCHEDULE. That’s under $100 what am I supposed to do with that until the next paycheck. That’s assuming that I get more hours in the meantime.

Ive already put in probably 50+ applications. Many of those I haven’t heard back from. I haven’t counted but if I had to guess a number Ive probably gotten 10-15 definite “no”. I think Ive gotten a handful of interviews. Before this new schedule came out I was definitely considering giving up applying for other jobs and even considering canceling the interviews or say no if I got an offer. Although even then I would be out of my mind because one of the jobs is basically the same job but with more pay. Now though, nah if I’m offered the job I am definitely taking it. I might not quit this job I have right away but I’m also stubborn. Im not going to let this jerk win by having me rage quit like I did before.

___________________

Ive let a few days pass since the last time I wrote.

Its been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

Like Im still pissed cuz I feel that manager is punishing me, which ive said something to the other managers in hopes for them to say something cuz I really don’t like confrontation, and this manager is one of those people that just turns what you say back to you. Like in the conversation you say one thing and then you go to say something else and they throw the first thing back at you.

Bad Example: “I ate a red M&M for breakfast.” But then later you say “I ate a green M&M” you mean as a snack or lunch something that happened later and they say “But you just said that you ate a red one”

Ive just taken a step back and looked around me. I am comfortable with the reduction of hours. Ive given the manager the benefit of a doubt or how ever that saying is suppose to be written. Its basically finals. Maybe they looked it up and realized this and gave me less hours. If that’s the case then at least let me know or a co-worker know so they could tell me.

________________________

Final week is over thankfully. I passed my classes!

The work situation is still a situation. I cant tell if my assumptions are right thought as the next schedule isn’t out yet. This is just frustrating. Another reason to take a different job. Two of the ones that I interviewed with said they do their schedule a whole month in advance! Its sad that to me that is a plus. As I write this, I only know what my schedule is for the next 3 days. After that I have no clue. Either I don’t work for the next schedule which is like WTF or the manager hasn’t posted it (sadly possible with this manager) which is also like WTF how can anyone plan their holidays with that because the next schedule covers the winter holidays and new year’s.

Now I cant even properly enjoy my time away because I keep looking to see if the next schedule has posted. I need to get my head in the game and get as much stuff as physically possible in however many days. There is just a lot to get done. I have an end of the video boom going on my channel (which I put on myself but Ive lost the momentum it feels like). Plus I need to hurry up and get ahead for next year so that way should I get more hours or a new job with more hours I wont have to worry about videos. I really don’t want to get back to the point where a new video doesn’t go live for 2 or even 3 weeks. I feel like that’s where I lost most of my engagement. I want to grow my channel in both content and size.

I need to finish my book. Ive been working on it off and on for over 10 years. Part of me just wants to get it done. Another part of me feel like it is the key. Like when I get it done that will provide me the ability to do just about everything that I want to.

As odd as it sounds I want to start making candles but currently I don’t have a space for that so I need to figure out how to do that. Well I have a space but I need to make it so that I can make the candles in. I read that the space needs to be well ventilated and right now the only place I can do that is … a bit open to the elements so I need to fix that to make it useable.

I logically know all of that but my brain. Its just fixated on this schedule thing. I think partly because I’m afraid of missing when its updated. Which doesn’t make since because I have to go to work before the next schedule starts so even if I missed it updated I would have something to tell me when I go back.

Bah. This is enough of this. Im going to work on my youtube channel to do list and a few of the other things that can be handled now. Get my mind out of this spiral. I might post again this year. If I don’t hope the winter holiday season is how it needs to be and that the new year is a fun sparkly time!

[tinyperson00-venting]

long rant

I think I've been in love with the same person for 6 years now..

the thing is tho.. he's not a good person. Ive been told many times before to drop the feelings. Ive dated him twice now, and he cheated on me the first time and left the second. He says he likes me sometimes randomly (years past, not this year) but then weeks later he pretends like I don't exist.

I know he's not a good person, but I can't help it. He used to both physically and emotionally hurt me a lot. When we were younger he said he'd do it since he didn't know how else to express himself, but recently he just did it for fun or so I think. This year however, he just seems to ignore me and act as if we never even met. We go to the same pool, and during the summer everytime I showed up with my family, he got out and either left or sat somewhere and avoided me. It's like I did something or whatever and everything just changed.

last school year, I went through quite a lot and literally all my friends except ace left and pretty much backstabbed me in several ways. He was one of them. Maybe I did something to do deserve this? Is this some sort of punishment to me??

I tried dating 2 other people in hopes of getting over him both last year and 3 years ago. It didn't work tho, and ended up making it worse. He doesn't even speak to me unless it's during class about schoolwork.

we have similar last names, so we always get sat next to eachother or almost next to eachother during seating charts in classes we share. It's kinda awkward tho since he just looks the other way and doesn't speak. In years prior when we got sat together, he would play around or make little comment or jokes to me.

This year is different. I'm alone almost 24/7 even tho I'm surrounded by a school full of people. If you've read any of the previous posts on here, you know my mental health is like 6ft under currently as well. I think I've given up to be honest.

I still wish things would go back to the way they used to be with us, but now I'm not even sure if I'm even still capable of feeling or showing love anymore. It's said that one who truly hates themselves isn't capable of loving another. Well, that statement has proven true.

maybe it's good tho.. maybe now I can finally move on somehow.

[juicezone]

Saw your previous post, I am so sorry that you had a bad day. Sending you a hug 🫂 and praying to Jesus that you have a better week going forward.

I wanted to share my opinion on the situation. My mom was a former teacher and she quit teaching early, her colleagues have said the same thing- Teachers hate their jobs. The students are getting worse and worse. My mom knows of a teacher who only lasted three years before leaving teaching due to emotional strain and his own physical and mental health decline. The school systems are failing. Look up on tiktok or youtube about teachers quitting. Are you sure this is what you want to be doing with the rest of your adult life? I don’t want to discourage you but I just hate to see you working somewhere that will make you miserable. It’s something to think and pray to Jesus about.

Unfortunately, its a question i'm asking myself more and more too :( My mother is a teacher (we work at the same school actually!) and she completely agrees and says even in the younger grades (she works 3rd, im a student aide for 9th/lunch duties) she says the blatant disrespect is crushing :(

its really unfortunate because i do like 90% of the students i work with, but that 10% just... crushes me. the previous student i worked with had me crying weekly if not multiple times a week, and i genuinely get anxious if im assigned as his sub aide

but ive always wanted to work with kids (i used to play school and teach my little cousins, haha), but man...

honestly, i keep debating on what i'd need to maybe work as like... a kids science center/conservation center because i love that topic too and itd still involve potentially educating/working with kids. its just a bummer when a small percent of students mess with the joy of it yk?

like a couple weeks ago, one of the kinders at lunch was thrilled to show me he could open his thermos by himself (been having to help him all year so far) and he was so proud and i was like !!! yes!! and then a different student who struggled to read/write wrote a book with her class this year and like that was so awesome!!

i try and keep those in mind, but some days its just too much of the little things building up /sigh

you're so kind mayliz, I appreciate each and every message and notification isee from you <3

[acethatlovesdinos]

Tw: vent, female body dysmorphia? (Idk I don't have an official diagnosis). description of feminine anatomy (boobs). I'm not asking for pity, I'm just spitting words out because I feel the need to make them known. A confession, of sorts. And maybe it'll help some of you feel less alone in your own journey.

~~~~~~

I'm not pretty.

I'm aware of the fact. Never really have been. Not exactly the textbook definition of "attractive" when I look in the mirror.

I dont feel unloved, I think that's a different thing. I know i have caring friends and family who have my back, but it's still not quite what Im getting at.

I hate mirrors. Specifically the big ones in the bathroom before I shower. I look at myself, my eyes taking in every flaw.

I used to be bigger, you see, and I do feel much better having lost a significant amount of weight but that in itself brought upon an entirely new type of insecurity.

At least when I was a larger size my shape was "normal," per se, in that i expected and understood that physique well.

I had gotten a gastric sleeve surgery (make stomach smaller so you can absorb less food, thus losing weight in a more "natural" manner). Considering my morbidly obese state at the time, it was a necessary adjustment for the sake of my own health.

Dont get me wrong, I'm happy with what I've done. It's been a massive change and I feel so much better from both a physical and mental perspective.

but oh boy, I never could have expected the kind of insecurity that accompanied rapid weightloss.

it was incredible for a while, watching my clothes fit looser and feeling like I had more energy. my mental health improved drastically. truly, this was one of the best decisions I ever made, and I dont think Id change it if given the chance. I do want to make that clear, my current feelings are just a bit of a side effect.

quickly shedding pounds means that your body doesnt really get a chance to re-absorb that loose skin. what once was round, fatty pudge has now become loose, dangling flab. it hangs over my waist, accentuating my gut and making it still look larger than it is. Unfortunately, the weight I've lost isnt enough to properly constitute those surgeries to remove the loose skin that exists, so I'm sort of just...stuck with it. Im still certainly not skinny by any means, but I feel as though I'd be a size or two smaller if that extra flab wasn't there.

My hips and thighs didnt change a whole lot, so I remain with a bottom-heavy, pear shaped form with a waist several inches behind my hips. pants are a struggle to find a comfortable fit as a result.

It doesnt really strike much thought at first, but I was pretty quick to remember that breasts are composed mostly of fat and soft tissue. One of the first places to start showing a decrease in size? yeah. My chest wasn't particularly huge in proportion to my body anyway, and they only got smaller. that's a blow to the self-esteem if ive ever seen one. ever try shopping for a 40A bra? they aren't very common.

Oh, and what I said before about loose skin? that applies there too. there's no shape, it just sort of...sags pathetically. it could almost be compared to the "boobs" of an obese man with the way they sit, and the thought disgusts me.

all in all im sagging, loose, and not what someone would call a pretty sight...ever. It makes me fear the longevity and even possibility of future relationships, because who would want something like this?

my only saving grace is when I take a closer look at myself. Look closer in the mirror, look at my face. that seems to be the only part of myself im mostly okay with.

I've got a soft, round face, dusted with a natural blush and a gentle chin. my ears arent too big, and ive got a little dimple when my mouth moves the right way.

pale blue eyes provide the only pop of color on my otherwise pale, boring body, a cloudy shade of slate with a ring of green around the pupil. I dont want to sound basic, bit they really do seem to change under the sun. hooded eyelids occasionally cause makeup to be frustrating, but i only wear the stuff on special occasions anyway so it's not exactly a huge deal for me.

My glasses help to frame my face, a cute but necessary prop(bc i am blind lol), with the added bonus of helping to hide the tired circles under my eyes.

A lot of people seem insecure about their noses, but mine has been mostly unproblematic throughout my experience with it.

I've had a surprising number of people comment on my "perfect lips" (a few ladies who helped me with makeup), bringing up the defined Cupid's Bow and naturally plump shape, a soft pink hue that exists all on its own. I never really thought much of it until someone told me.

My hair has always been a fickle thing, and I've had a bit if a love-hate relationship with it until fairly recently. I've found that I like it bobbed at my chin, where its light enough that the natural curls can have a strong effect. the most product I tend to use is this nice-smelling leave-in conditioner, which just helps to tone down the frizziness. I love the way the curls frame my chin and jawline, and it coils into these thick, beautiful springs after it dries from a shower. it's so soft and I love to run my fingers through it when it's been freshly cleaned. The current color is a dark purple, that looks almost black indoors, but it nearly lights up when the sun hits it. its natural color is a deep brown, and i still do like it, I just thought a bit of color would be nice for once.

Ive got moles and marks everywhere, but that's never bothered me. the little brown spots are fun, and a few of them on my arm can even be traced into a perfect arch.

the most unique aspect of my appearance is this...little patch of tiny moles in the center of my throat. The patch is only about a centimeter in full area, and it's covered in little raised brown bumps. Oddly enough, this part of my body has never been something I felt ashamed of, as the little patch of marks were one of the many things that made me, me.

So maybe my body isnt perfect. it's not the ideal shape, nor size, nor whatever else, but I guess there's some things about it that I dont mind so much.

[mad-hunts]

like the tide, or perhaps like a capricious god as her fury did almost seem to measure up to one, matilda's mood always seemed to always be changing. and this was another way in which she was comparable to her father. one moment, she could appear to be the wretchedest of all of the mathis' children, and then the next... matilda was doing things like offering a metaphorical olive branch towards someone whom she didn't seem to care a lick about earlier that day. but this was not something that matilda thought to be exclusive to certain people. in her mind, everyone was like this, so most of the time she just thought it was a part of the very human condition to be temperamental.

but even with saying that, there was still one thing that matilda couldn't explain away with a debatably warped belief of who people are, and that was her propensity for being violent. so, if she were to somehow learn that jervis was suspicious of the water she'd given him, then matilda couldn't say she would blame the other. the very blade of her butterfly sword was usually doused in a poison made to paralyze her victims before they died. but even matilda upheld herself to certain 'standards' and one of those was not taking cheap shots at people; thus poisoning someone's food or drink? it was not something matilda would usually do, as that took all of the 'fun' out of fighting for her.

she really hadn't been doing much fighting at all lately however. a sigh slipped through her lips while she turned over her father's hand after inserting an iv into him, only to look at his palm. the execution of the guard he'd killed seemed to have not only left him with a slight emotional souvenir of guilt, but multiple physical ones as well. that skin was rubbed completely raw from trying to keep ahold of the chain barton strangled the man with and was even peeling in some spots. matilda made a mental note to patch that up for him, too, soon. she tended to try to intelluctualize her emotions rather than always hold them inside or bear them out for everyone to see... so, maybe that's why jervis looked at her now as if she were as calm as a glassy lake.

still, even if matilda wasn't quite as okay as she portrayed herself to be on the outside, she thought there was no use in looking at her (metaphorical) wounds forever. which led her to decide to bring up the sort of ridiculousness that was the news that day. looking back on it, matilda was surprised some of the clips that had been shown in there had made it to the final cut. there were some parts in the interviews they conducted that even made the broadcaster seem to want to laugh. the beginnings of matilda's teeth began to peek through her lips when jervis had asked her what they said, as that meant she could show him just exactly how much of a dumpster fire it was. a funny one but still a fire regardless.

pulling out her phone, matilda then crossed the room once more to settle near jervis, but just enough so that she could easily give him her phone when it was time. ❝ honestly, i think it'd be better if i showed you. i had taken a video of it originally to show my dad it. but since he's down for the count right now, i guess watching it again with you will just have to do. ❞ matilda didn't say that at all in a bitter way — quite the opposite, actually — as she took another swig out of her own water and slid the phone over to him. the cover of the video was about what you'd expect from someone who seemed to had rushed to record the broadcast. and by that, i mean it was just the slightest bit blurry.

matilda clicked the 'play' button on the video and turned her attention to her phone screen. they seemed to be in what your normal newsroom would look like at the beginning, with the main broadcaster being a woman with red hair done up as she addressed the audience, ❝ hello, and welcome back to the news-vault at two o'clock with your host, piper lochiel. today, we've received some shocking news that there has been two men found dead at the scene inside what looked to be a prisoner transport van. this van was heading to the highly controversial institute for the criminally insane, known as arkham asylum. and the police have said the main suspects are to not be approached in public if seen because they're considered to be very dangerous. ❞

yup, it seemed like barton was right about them calling the both of them something along the lines of 'dangerous.' two mugshots, one of barton who's hair was even wilder than usual and who looked like he'd just stumbled out of a luau party intoxicated, as well as one of jervis glaring at the camera almost judgmentally with an exaggerated frown and a big black eye (seriously, why did they always have to use the worst pictures of everyone on the news?) then showed up in the corner of the screen. matilda had to cough to prevent herself from laughing at the terrible choices of pictures they'd used in her opinion.

and it was just getting started, unfortunately. the video did look to be quite lengthy... though, she did plan on skipping through some of the more 'boring' parts.

Jervis watched Matilda approach his corner with a wary eye, every step measured, bracing himself for the unknown. His grip tightened around the pin he held. When she placed the bottle of water near him, it was a jolt—an unexpected gesture that caught him off guard, especially given her sudden apology.

Her words stirred something in him—a mix of emotions he hadn't anticipated. The beg-pardon, simple as it was, evoked a strange, reluctant sense of gratitude. Even though Matilda had already turned her attention back to Barton, leaving him alone with the water, Jervis found himself staring at the bottle, contemplating whether to trust this small token of peace. It reminded him very much of how he had hesitated over Barton’s falooda, not so long ago.

As he observed Matilda’s practiced care for her father, Jervis took a cautious sip from the bottle. The cool liquid eased his dry throat, and he couldn’t help but reflect on the tenuousness of their situation. Her actions, calm and competent, underscored his own vulnerability and the fragile balance they were all trying to maintain.

Then, Matilda’s voice cut through the thickening atmosphere with a teasing lilt, disrupting the tension that had built up like a stone tossed into a pond. The offer to share what the news had said about them introduced an unexpected levity into the room. Her mischievous smile was disarming, making Jervis almost forget the tense moments that had passed between them.

He considered her words for a moment before responding, his voice tinged with a mixture of curiosity and caution. "What did those red top fuckers say this time?" he asked, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth despite himself. "I suppose I could use a good laugh."

Despite his many fears and grievances and the precariousness of their situation, Matilda's effort to bridge the gap with humor wasn't lost on him; it was a small step, certainly, but it made him feel a bit less like a monster lurking in the corner and more like a person.

[liltiffy777]

So my life and before i go into all of it YES i know only I can change it and OnLy I can make things better and walk away but what fun is that and what does that really accomplish i guess me myself i look at relationships as a challenge its a big battle that the both sides try to learn and adapt to one another's ways and stupid things they do....but ive met my match with this one we are 2 peas in a pod and i say that because im noy sure who believes in astorology or what not but my bday is may 22nd his ...may 18th so we're both on the cusp of gemini and taurus so SUPER HEAD STRUNG BULLHEADED A**H**** PRETTY MUCH in a nutshell so we are way to alike in alot of the bad traits we both dont know when to quit and stop he thinks im trying to be dominant and feels i need to be with a girl but lemme ask yall something here when a man is sitting there and talking crap all about you and your people are you just going to sit there and shut up like a good girl and let it go? I bet not i tell this man daily its 2023 not the 20s no more i dont have to do as you say and what not im not a puppet and no i dont wana be the man i just was raised by a very head strung women that told me there aint nothing you can't do that a man can and im sorry i look at girls and men as equal thats all i ever expect but no im dominant and i wana be the man and i need a girlfriend like then i say its his ego and pride that im stepping on nope instantly flips it on me and makes it all me me me me me all the things i said the pride and ego yeah its me kuz my mom raised me wrong she raised me to feel i was above everyone and can do no wrong and thats false i was raised with dont ever feel there is nothing you cant do and noone is better then the next and yeah but this one is a challange for me he well lemme rewind a bit in the beginning we had some trials and tribulations we have been together 4 years now and its at the end weve beaten on each other physically and mentally because of how much alike we are and i made a few mistakes that he uses against me daily i lied about having a pen pal Still when i got outa prison is when i met him the one im with now and i didnt think nothing of it because pen pals are a thing to just waste time and something to keep your mind at bay when ur locked up and i felt bad because i was in a relationship when i went down and he left me for dead and it killed me and it took a long long time actually i still not over it and funny story my ex lives in my apartment building yeah i said god you got jokes mind you no i havent talked to my ex at all and bet me and my dude got into it because i had to say something just in case he found out himself then oh man but it still didn't matter we fight about it daily that i had him move in here and blah. Blah blah blah no i didnt but anyways yea my ex is the one i say that got away kuz of my ignorance of messing up things going to prison messed the best relationship ive had ever up and here iam miserable but to stubborn to walk away theres more but im tierd of typing i can type for days seriosuly so any thoughts or suggestions let me in on some secrets to sucess here...

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

yeah sure every q for the ask game for mr. abel unless u like hate a q then u can skip but. and you know what !!!! 👀 and 💌 for vicky !!!!!! thats right so many q's

every day when i rb an ask game zee sees if he can send me as of them as possible bc its his love language 💖

link back to the ask game bc i have other ocs to aske about if anyone wishes

going under a readmore immediately bc wow. so many qs.

for abel:

🥵 : Is your OC perceived as physically attractive to others? Is it at first glance or is it something that takes more time to reach fruition?

I think abel is definitely physically attractive to others! he has a very 'aged like a fine wine' type of look that i swear isnt just my own biases i swear i swear . i really do think he would 100% be flirted with by like . everyone. but especially men. i think its first glance also BTW, maybe taking more time for people who arent into how big or hairy he is? but those are cowards. 💦 : Is your OC’s attractiveness based on looks or a more intangible aura?

looks. but also abel has a very charismatic aura to him as well! he speaks very casually or more formally depending on the people he talks to and finds it easy to figure out how to push the right buttons in a conversation to make someone like him so its just like alot. 💪 : What is your OC’s most physically attractive attribute? 

face for sure, hes got the beard and a bit of a smoldering look to him that makes him even hotter when he takes off his glasses, plus if he dresses up he looks VERY nice and his body in general IMO is quite nice. 🧠 : What is your OC’s most mentally attractive attribute?

like i said before he has a charisma to him that makes him very attractive and just nice to in general but he also is veryyy intellectual! being a nurse and all. he did very well in school and i think people could be into how he can rattle off obscure medical terms. 👀 : Does your OC believe they are attractive? Do they use that to their advantage?

very interesting question actually bc ive never thought abt this hmmmm.... i think he does ? but only because people have told him, i think otheerwise its not like he wouldnt like how he looks or anyhing he just would be very neutral on it. suffice it to say he doesnt use his appearance at all. 👃 : Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent?

i think he would! hes very well groomed and probably often takes showers and probably wears cologne to dates. probably smells a bit woody but with some notes of fruit and like . other smels... probably also has like a slight scent of like blood and stuff since he works at a hospital and which like is worse after he gets home from work but THATS what COLOGNE is for BABEYYY 👂 : Does your OC have an attractive voice?

yes. abel has a deeper voice than vicky IMO its very chill and calming. the only turn off would possibly be that it is very american. vicky winces sometimes at abels accent but hes like whatever .... ill accept it bc ur voice is hot on is own. but yeah guy who could put u to sleep but also? 😳 🚲 : Does your OC enjoy playing the field? Or are they more monogamy-minded?

i think mainly he is much more monogamy minded but knows that its mainly due to pressure from his parents to like settle down and find one person (who he COULD have had kids with if he were straight, they are upset abt possibly no grandkids but he doesnt have to worry abt that anymore <3) but i do think that in his younger years he played around with multiple guys and if it werent for vicky being extremely monogamous, he might in his older years as well 😍 : What does your OC find irresistible in others?

good anatomy /gen. his ideal partner looks like a scientific model in his textbook with visible musculature, this is why hes particularly into mr skin slight muscle and bones vicky. he also likes it when his partner can get him out of his head, bringing him out of his worries or obsessive thinking in general is like a #1 requirement for being anything long term with him 💘 : Is your OC a very good flirt? Are they charming?

YES!! as said before hes very good at the game of conversating but i think in general hes very good at complimenting someone and getting them flushed with double entendres, abel isnt afraid to be crass in a flirtatious way and that definitely gets alot of people on board with Doing Stuff with him. however. sometimes he can be so smooth that it can pass over peoples heads. (vicky) 💋 : Is your OC a good kisser? How do they do it?

actually, i think not really! i know ive been saying abel is great at EVERYTHING romance here but i do think this is where hes lacking a bit! he doesnt have many skills with his tongue despite how often he kisses lads... he just needs more practice ig :/ 🦴 : Does your OC have much sexual experience? What are they like?

yes! well he does with men, i dont think abel has actually ever had any kind of experience with women, kind of knew since he was a kid what he liked and everything. in bed he tends to be much more submissive, preferring to focus on making sure his partners are comfortable and feeling good, though hes not afraid to be more forceful if he really wants something. also as far as top vs bottom. hes a switch so. 💞 : Do they treat sex casually or do they view it as something with a lot of emotional weight?

depends on the partner honestly, i think most of the time with casual partners ofc obvs he treats it much more casually, but with more serious partners it typically carries more weight as hes not afraid to be much more vulnerable with them. but i think that he doesnt prefer one way or the other, he enjoys casual hookups as much as he does more emotional and vulnerable intimate nights with his boyfriends. 🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered?

probably being very blunt and crass. like not even flirting just like just . you know, just completely no smoothness nothing just going right for the throat metaphorically and maybe literally (like no teasing no nothing just outright desire). it really trips up his game and makes him not really able to counter in a way thats productive and leaves him just kinda like ummmm o/////o... 🧸 : Into public displays of affection or are they more reserved?

oh abel LOVES pda. he loves kissing and holding hands and being sickly sweet in public. he also apparently after taking a look at his nsfw preferences page on toyhouse enjoys other stuff publically as well. so yeah. not reserved in the slightest. 💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

oh he plans this shit way in advance and has probably several little romantic ideas lined up when he dates someone. sometimes its because he wants to do them and sometimes its bc his partner has mentioned them wanting to do something and so he takes it into account for a future romantic evening. however, this isnt to say he like suprises them or anything, he typically discusses it with them quite a bit in advance before they do anything 💐 : What is their courting style? How would they woo someone?

mostly flirting and doing extreme calculations to see if the person is returning any kind of response even if unconscious. outside of that he does not do anything <3 moreso if they give him no real response to any flirting. however if they do he just dials up the meter and will maybe even invite them over!! 👙 : What kind of underwear do they use? Is it pretty or functional?

Abel wears tighty whiteys, briefs that keep everything in nicely, much more functional than it is pretty but he does make sure not to mess them up or anything and to replace them if theyre looking a little worn. hes a bit vain in that way lol

for vicky:

👀 : Does your OC believe they are attractive? Do they use that to their advantage?

i dont think vicky thinks hes attractive deep down but boys got issues so you know hes deeply projecting that he thinks hes soooo hot and awesome and epic. he'd be so embarrassed if people made fuckin . fancams of him (in a modern au) but he'd play it off like ahhh of course smile, im so hot ofc people want me. also he does use this swagger tthat he projects to his advantage, especially if he detects that a girl is into him (unfortunately this ONLY will happen if its a woman bc if a man is into him at all he will just melt into a puddle)

💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

see. i dont . think he would. bc i think fundamentally vicky is a bit nervous to fuck everything up. see but thats only with people he really cares about. this is probably how you can tell youre more of a casual hookup with vicky honestly is that he doesnt worry and actually tries to do a romantic evening with you instead of just being sooooo nervous that hes gonna mess smth up and make u hate him forever. anyway real answer for people he doesnt care about and plans these things for: he will make sure its a nice suprise and try to do the most stereotypically romantic things imaginable. heart shaped stuff, things in red, rose petals, etc, the type of stuff that only would really happen or be used in valentines day commercials and romance movies. bc thats what he thinks a romantic evening is :) <- guy who has never had a genuine connection bc he has . been going out w women performatively his whole life.