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lottiies · 5 months ago

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SHARED MY BODY AND MY MIND WITH YOU

→ Leon broke up with you because of his emotional baggage, not wanting to drag you down into his trauma-induced misery. He didn’t usually date out of his line of work anyway, he hated himself for involving himself with someone so innocent. But when he gets a voicemail at an awfully late hour and listens to it, he nearly broke driving laws to get to your place. He still loves you, that much is certain. Your body and mind are like a second nature to him

CW: MDNI, fem!reader, pwp, one sided breakup, angst, description of leon’s self guilt and sabotage, heavy mentions of marriage, centered around Leon rather than the reader, reconciliation, lovemaking–gentle sex, crying, very small religious snippet, he eats you out, unprotected p in v, implied aftercare + implication of a better future

WC: 5.3k

Note: i think…this is my favorite fic that i’ve ever written. breaking my pink blog theme with this and actually capitalizing letters um…i had to set the tone okay. i actually started working on this in january to cope with some things, but i didn’t make much progress until recently!! the title’s a lyric from the song ‘cruel world’

BOT VERSION HERE MASTERLIST

Leon has a rule: never get emotionally involved with anyone who isn’t in his line of work. The reason behind that is self-explanatory. It's too difficult to accomplish. All his baggage holds him down, and he’s always away for long periods at a time and then returns back with body aches all over and has to hibernate for a while. What does he truly have to offer?

He did it anyway.

You managed to romance him, granting him a fleeting glimpse of happiness and a chance at self-love. Lingering caresses, meaningful eye contact, soulful conversations, an audience to his jokes, the key to your heart — you gave him everything.

Breaking up with you was painful, the second it was all said and done and you were out of his sight, he broke down crying. That was what he deserved, that’s what his mind told him.

It was easy for Leon to disappear from your life, just as quick as the snap of his fingers. He was never around that much to begin with. Your efforts in reaching out to him were futile if he was halfway across the world dealing with another abrupt assignment, or if he fell back into the habit of nursing a drink in some run down bar without contacting a soul.

But no amount of alcohol could make him forget about you these days. The memories of you were too strong to be diluted.

“What about this one?” Curiosity had dripped from your question, your fingers gently feathered across the healed up scar on his left shoulder.

Leon was almost an open book when it came to you, he truly cherished honesty in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Guilt weighed on him for having to limit certain answers to only the surface details. It felt wrong; it felt like he was keeping secrets from you and keeping you in the dark. But it couldn’t be helped, not when you weren’t in the same line of work as him. Most of the contents of his work were confidential.

After all, at this point the two of you had only been dating for half a year. How could he burden your mind with the harsh realities of everything that wasn’t known by the general public?

The two of you were naked, tangled under the sheets. No sex or anything, simply getting familiar with each other’s bodies and exploring with gentle and cautious hands.

“1998, shot on duty.”

The memories were still fresh in his mind. People say that forgetting a traumatic event is common, people dissociate to cope and shield their brain. It was the opposite for Leon. All the screams plagued his mind like a damn mantra, no way in hell would he ever be able to forget anyone’s voice.

Either that, or his mind made up fantasies about what could’ve been between you both. Domestic bliss. Buying a house together. Shy talks about how many kids you guys wanted. The memories haunted him. He wanted it back.

He even bought a ring. A beautiful one that he was meant to display to you when he sunk onto one knee and popped the question that would hopefully bind the two of you for life. The one that he was supposed to fidget with whenever he held your hand as the two of you planned your wedding, whether it be simple, grand, or to elope.

He kept it safe even after he broke up with you, he couldn’t bear to throw it away because of the sliver of hope that maybe one day he’d still get the chance of putting it on your finger. He felt like a fool. Sometimes he opened the box up to reminisce. It tugged at his heartstrings when he saw how rough his own fingers were in comparison to the smooth metal, from his years of physical exhaustion and training. God, he wished your hands would never get all battered like his.

He thought about you so much that you were the star actress in his nightly dreams.

The worst ones were the nightmares, though. Like the one that had him turning in his sleep tonight.

It all replayed in his mind. Your facial expression when he broke up with you out of the blue — the way the smile on your face had faded into a frown, your glimmering eyes contorting into that of disheartened ones. The way you looked at him with such a concoction of emotions. The pitiful chuckle that escaped your lips along with a nervously spoken ‘what?’ Or maybe it was the prolonged silence afterwards that killed him. It felt like hours until he got a proper response from you, one that was drowned out by the drumming of his own heart and the pulse that formed in his ears.

Usually he got to the end of it, but tonight he was abruptly woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. A blessing in disguise, maybe. Regardless, he was a bit irritated, he had always been such a light sleeper.

“You’re kidding…” Leon let out a heavy sigh, trying to rub the sleep away from his eyes. He didn’t even want to answer, too tired to even think about the possibility of being called to the field. No way in hell did he want to be met with Hunnigan’s voice and some intel he didn’t feel like remembering.

He let the phone ring, and eventually, blissful silence filled the room again. If it was dire, he knew he’d get another call soon.

Instead, he heard his phone vibrate not long after. He muttered out a curse before reaching for his phone, seeing that a voicemail was left. He didn’t bother reading whose number it was. Christ, the message was 5:06 minutes long.

Whatever. He played it aloud, resting his forearm over his face as he listened in.

“Hey Leon, it’s me…”

Fuck.

He fully sat up on his bed, so quickly it could’ve given him whiplash.

“I miss you. Still think about you every day. I don’t know what I did wrong…you probably aren’t even listening to this. I just…I don’t know.” a sigh. “The clock hit 12 and um, well today’s the anniversary of the day you asked me out. Maybe you don’t remember. I think you do though, you were always good with dates.”

Leon knew the voice of a broken person when he heard it.

No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to let you go and then you’d see how much life had to offer, how any other person could give you a better and more stable relationship.

How could you be hung up on a man like him?

It was instinctual. He shuffled out of bed, body reacting before his mind and reaching for a clean pair of clothes from his closet. He left the voicemail playing in the background, it filled his lonely house. His heart was racing so loudly he couldn’t even hear the sounds of the wind outside or the creak of the floor with every step. All he did was change and brush his teeth before he drove over to you.

Thankfully, the roads were empty and the highway was free of traffic or else surely he would’ve been pulled over.

Thinking rationally wasn’t necessary when it came to you, not when he just got punched in the gut with a load of nostalgia and gut wrenching heartbreak.

He has always been yours, even during the separation. His heart hammered within his ribcage when he pulled into your driveway, his body moving in a hurry out of his car and towards your door. No hesitation.

Knock, knock, knock.

Ten seconds felt like ten minutes, but eventually the door swung open.

Your pretty face filled the focus of his pupils, his expression softening. You looked like a deer in the headlights, gazing up at him with wide eyes.

Oh, my sweet girl. There she is.

His hands itched to reach for you, to hold you in his arms and spin you around, nuzzling his nose against yours like old times — like some romantic drama. He hadn’t watched one in a while, they reminded him too much of you. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Leon's hair was messy. It was a sight you had seen many times: his bed hair. Those emotion carrying eyes of his were contrasted with the lifeless bags under them. He came over so damn quickly he hadn’t even taken the time to make himself look composed.

“Leon? What are you…” You couldn’t even finish your thoughts. You felt nothing yet so much at the same time, perhaps from the shock of it all. You brought two fingers to the pulse on your neck to make sure you were awake, and hadn’t somehow fallen asleep after your call and voicemail to him. The thundering pace of your pulse confirmed that you weren’t off in dream land.

“I got your voicemail,” He responded, sounding remorseful. “Had to make sure you were alright. Uh…can I come in?”

You continued staring at him like if he was some sort of supernatural being. If you reached your hand out to touch him, would he disappear? Or perhaps your limb would go straight through him as if he was transparent.

You snapped out of it and nodded. “Yeah, come on in.” Hesitation clouded your tone, not out of wariness but because you had no clue what the hell was going on. You hadn’t seen him in over a year, at least not in person, only through photos and videos you still had saved on your phone from when the two of you were dating (going through them was part of your nightly routine.)

“To be honest…I wasn’t expecting you to even hear my message.”

You stood there awkwardly as he entered, closing the door afterwards. Your apartment still smelled the same, a wave of comfort washed over him despite the circumstances, his eyes darting around at all your belongings. This was once his safe space, like his secret haven.

You sat on your couch, waving him over. Your legs felt like jelly, no way could you be standing for this. He followed, sitting on the couch cushion on the opposite side from you.

“My ringtone woke me up. I thought you were a coworker of mine at first but…I’m glad you weren’t.”

“Glad, really?”

“Yeah.” He gave no further context, at least for that minute.

Silence hung in the air, time became still. Either way, the shared glance between the two of you broke the tension, you were both thinking the same thing. Your minds were linked, seeking reconciliation, every circuit of neurons buzzing with your shared proximity.

He rested his elbows on his knees, running a hand through his hair, a nervous habit. Everything felt surreal, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, afraid he’d disappear.

“I’m…I’m sorry about the way I ended things.” There was a crack in his voice, he was so desperately clinging onto the ideology that he shouldn’t wear all his heart on his sleeve. He failed every time though, his words had wavered.

“I know.” You truly did.

“How?”

“Because I know you, Leon. It hurt, and I found myself wondering why you would just up and leave after what felt like such a meaningful time. But I didn't ever think you did it with mal intent.”

You should be demanding answers, hell, he could even take a few slaps to the face. Maybe his guilt ridden self preferred that to your sweet treatment. Did he even deserve to be met with your understanding? This self-pitying mindset he harbored is what had led to this in the first place.

“You’re right. I didn’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.” Were his efforts in explaining himself getting across? “I thought it was better this way. I'm…broken.”

Trying to convince him that he isn’t ‘broken’ was futile, all you could do was beautify it instead. You scooted closer to him, clasping one of his hands between yours. “All you see are your faults, but I was seeing you entirely, not just for what you do in your job or the images that keep you up at night.”

His hands felt the same. Calloused in areas he couldn’t help like his knuckles and his palms, but well-kept in the nail department. He looked down at the physical contact, putting his other hand atop yours, his thumb grazing tenderly at your skin. Familiar territory.

“It’s hard not to.” He admitted, his eyes feeling glossy all of a sudden. “My job is my life, it drags into every other part of my life.”

“How did it drag into our relationship?”

He truly didn’t know how to answer that. The times he shared with you were the best experiences of his life. He finally got the chance to pull out his cardboard box full of romantic movies to watch with the lover he had been waiting for his whole life, you. Countless nights spent cooking together in your kitchen, full of laughter and playful bickering, and some harmless food fights. Grocery shopping together with laced fingers, just a sneak peek into domesticity. God, he yearned for its return.

“I don’t know. I constantly had to leave and got no vacation time either. Let’s see…I had to keep a lot of information confidential. It kinda screams ‘this’ll all make a girl run the other way.’”

How wrong he was, he ended up leaving before he could get abandoned, as if that would’ve happened, though, you never wanted him out of your life.

“That wasn’t true for me, Leon. I wanted to be with you. I just hope I wasn’t a burden on you.”

That hurt. A dull ache spread across his chest. He pulled you close, tucking you against his side.

“Don’t say that,” His instruction was soft spoken, his lips brushed against your cheek. You were never a burden, he always shut you out, thinking that his heart was full of thorns and you’d prick yourself if he let you get too close. That, perhaps his sorrow was contagious and his poison would flood your veins.

Words of comfort weren’t his strong suit, but he tried his best. He had to. “You weren’t a burden. Never were, and never will be, okay?”

It felt so good to have you against him, his gaze was set on you, searching for any indicator that you were uncomfortable. You leaned your shoulder against his shoulder though, nuzzling against him. Pensive silence followed.

Even with the somber undertones filling your apartment, your heart was bursting. He was here, back with you. Holding you like he used to do after you had a particularly stressful day at work, or when you had an argument with one of your close ones.

The long separation made familiar carnal desires spark to life, along with the itch to bring them to fruition.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You murmured to him, but your wavering voice caught his instant attention.

You were on the verge of tears, oh dear. If you started sobbing, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold back from crying either.

Leon didn’t waste a second, pulling you onto his lap, one of his hands stroking the back of your head, his other arm wrapping around your back.

“What are you thinking about?” He needed to know. You had always been the most verbal, whereas his feelings usually showed on his face or body language.

“About how much I missed you.” You respond, running your hands up and down his arms, squeezing at his muscles. “And how unreal this feels. And…” Your eyes flicker down to his lips. “I wanna kiss you, Leon…and y’know.” Make love. “Like old times.”

Oh.

“Are you sure?” Leon hadn’t intended for the night to play out this way. He needed to make sure you were actually thinking straight with the pool of emotions you seemed to be drowning in. To be fair, he was drowning too.

It was midnight, your bodies burned for one another.

“I am.” You uttered those words with such finality, eyes set on him.

This wasn’t some impromptu longing for his physical connection, you had been craving it for as long as the two of you had been separated. To feel him in the purest and most tender way possible, nestled against one another and eliciting feelings no one else could.

The pads of his thumbs rub circles against the fat of your hips. He's looking up at you, his eyes are unable to hide a flicker of yearning and affection. Expressive, his pupils dilated and his eyebrows slightly raised. He blinked slowly, like a cat showing utmost trust to its owner.

He looks at you like he worships you (he does.) Get him on his hands and knees, he’ll mumble your name like you’re his god and he’s praying to you, all his sins out in the open and his scarred body for you to look over and judge. He’ll be vulnerable with you if that means you’ll forgive his wrongdoings and give him a second chance. You must be a merciful god, no doubt about it.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You murmured, cupping his face. His gaze was hypnotic, sending a wave of security down your body. It almost felt as if you traveled to the time before he shattered your heart into pieces of glass.

“Like what?” He couldn’t help it. Not like he had a mirror, anyway. His face was usually tense, brows permanently furrowed and eyes narrowed from being attentive all the fucking time, his lips a straight line, jaw anything but relaxed.

Not right now, though. Never with you. Everything in his body softened and loosened up around you. Well, with the exception of his dick but that was another matter.

“You know what I mean. Like…like you still love me.”

Leon didn’t know what to say. The words died in his throat while every fiber of his being wanted to say ‘I do.’ The same words he could’ve voiced out standing across the altar from you. His brain short-circuited.

His pause came across as ambiguous to you, to mask the pain, you kissed him. Like a chocolate on a hot summer day, he melted in an instant, turning to mush, holding one side of your jaw and matching your pace.

The two of you mingled like two puzzle pieces. Your chest was flush against his, one of your hands finding his hair and pulling on it, earning a drawn out groan from him. It went slow for the first five minutes, some occasional pull backs for breath, shy smiles in betweens, before going back in like the act of kissing was needed for your pulses to continue, your hearts beating as one.

“Mmph.” Your whimper made him shudder, oh how he had missed that noise. His other hand got a bit more confident, resting on the small of your back, moving up towards your ribs then back down, almost resting on your ass.

He felt a surge of heat settle in his groin, aching to give you all the pleasure you deserved, to make you feel cherished and known. To knock any misery out of your head and replace it with euphoric sparks and reassurance. To be one with you again, if you’d have him.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes fluttering open. “Bedroom?”

A nod from you was all it took. He didn’t let you get up, instead holding your ass as he stood up, his lips back on yours as he carried you to your bedroom like he owned the place. His mind still had the spatial layout, it worked out and he eventually placed you onto the middle of the bed oh so delicately.

You knew what was coming, already taking your clothes off in a haste as you heard his belt come undone, the sound of his taking his shirt off, and his boots being kicked off.

It wasn’t long until he was on you again.

Leon took his time to look at your body. He was all too familiar with it, knowing exactly where certain beauty marks were, or the places that were sensitive to even the slightest fan of his breath. His fingertips ghosted over your sides, sucking in a sharp inhale as his eyes roamed all over, studying you as if you were his muse and he was about to draw you. “So beautiful…”

His lips had traveled all across you once upon a time. Leon had a great memory, perhaps one of his best features, though also his downfall. At times like these, it comes in handy. It almost seemed like a hazy flashback to the nights he had you splayed on the bed, pressing his lips against your forehead and making it all the way to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

He wanted to mimic the memory. “Need to taste you. Can I?”

“God, yes.” You agreed in a heartbeat, body already feeling all tingly at the anticipation.

He littered open mouthed kisses from the middle of your chest, all the way down to your end of your stomach, making your body ignite with flames and mind flood with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. What day was it? Month? Year? You couldn’t remember, just desperately hoping this wasn’t some realistic feeling dream. You’ve had those too often, and if you woke up without him by your side, you felt like you would die from heartbreak.

He hooked his arms underneath your thighs to pull you close. His fingers dug into your thighs as he took another look at his favorite pretty cunt. He missed this. Missed you. Missed having you grind yourself against his face until he couldn’t breathe. Missed having his heart race from the angelic noises you blessed his ears with.

His nose pressed against your clit, applying light pressure as his tongue lapped at your slit, gathering the dew there. Geez, he really got right into it. Your eyes rolled back, your stomach tensing and your back arching. You could die right now by your (ex) lover’s tongue, what a way to go.

On the occasion that he opened his eyes, he’d look up at you through his light lashes — he swore you looked like an angel from his perspective.

“What is this? Your last meal on death row?” You were joking, but god…he really was making your mind go blank, he knew just all the right buttons to press.

“Oh, so you think I’m a criminal?”

Like always, you reached for his hair, pushing it back and hearing him growl out of contentment. He gave your clit gentle sucks before flattening his tongue against it and flicking it, his head moving side to side, repeating the process again and again.

One thing about Leon? He always found a way to turn you on by being vocal. His noises were muffled and sloppy but you could feel the vibration of all his whimpers and growls against you as he took his time eating you out. He was getting off to pleasuring you, and that fact alone made it so much hotter.

Your thighs were trembling, threatening to close in and squeeze his head. Leon placed one of his hands over your lower abdomen, applying light pressure with his palm and coaxing you into your orgasm.

It didn’t take you long to get there, you hadn’t felt a tongue on you in ages, he was your last.

“Leon, I’m—“

He already knew.

“That’s it, make a mess all over my face.” It sounded like a demand but instead it came across as a pitiful and desperate plea.

How many times had he been in this position? Lying on his stomach, your taste on his tongue, chin dripping with his drool and your wetness, feeling your body trembling…he couldn’t even count how many. But it was enough for him to know your body like no other.

He kept going even after your thighs started squeezing in on him, even with the way you unintentionally tugged at his hair enough to have him rutting against your sheets. He made sure to make your orgasm feel good, lapping at you all throughout until he heard a whine leave your lips and he felt you weakly push his head away — he didn’t want to overstimulate you and hurt you.

He finally took a breath, one that filled his lungs with satisfaction as he propped himself up on his elbows before sitting up. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his blood pump south with the way you were still composing yourself, your legs twitching all cutely and your torso rising and sinking with each deep breath you attempted to take.

“Do you wanna…” Your eyes flitted down to the prominent tent in his pants, feeling a stirring in your stomach already.

“Do you?”

“Yeah. I mean…only if you want to.”

With his belt already in some corner of the room and his fly down, all that was left was discarding his pants and boxers down. He fished his wallet out and pulled a packet from it before doing so.

You were too distracted eyeing his now exposed dick, gulping. It had been a while. But a certain wrapper noise caught your attention. A condom. You had always been careful with him in the past, but you wanted him inside him without any barriers. To feel him entirely, his skin against your insides.

“Don’t, please?”

“But–“

“I need to feel you, Leon.”

“Already being a bad influence on me? What am I gonna do with you?” His jest was met with your roll of eyes, but the corners of your eyes crinkled, happy he was already comfortable enough to bicker a bit.

He pet your head, gazing fondly at you as he awaited your response.

“I just want to feel you as close as possible. I don't know how to explain it. You can pull out at the end…I dunno.”

You didn’t need to explain further, because he felt the same. He kissed your forehead, whispering “okay.”

Getting in between you and in position for missionary, he continued peppering kisses all over your face. He couldn’t hold back, he had so much to make up for, he owed you at least a thousand more. He pushed into you, a breathy moan leaving his lips, it felt like he had just entered the pearly gates. And the way your jaw hung open in a silent gasp told him you felt the same.

“You alright?”

“Mhm, keep going.”

“God, I missed you…” His thrusts made the bed creak, adding to the assortment of sounds of two bodies joined as one: skin against skin, high pitched gasps and occasional throaty groans, nails scratching against Leon’s back and leaving red marks in their wake, a subtle noise, but there nonetheless.

“Yeah? How much?”

“Too much. Could never get you outta my mind.” He admitted, burying his head against your neck to leave open-mouthed kisses all over, smiling when he felt you squirming. “Dreamt about you every night. Every…every morning I woke up, I thought you’d still be by my side.”

His response knocked the breath out of you, God if you could have him closer than physically possible, you would. This was the closest you’d be though, his tip hitting your g-spot, his body flush against yours, it was just the two of you in this never ending universe.

“Leon…Leon…fuck.” You called for him like you needed him to prevent you from crumbling.

He pinned one of your hands to the side of your head and laced his fingers between yours, his head remaining against your other side, raspy grunts and incoherent praises rumbling against your ear. He gently bit your earlobe, tugging at it and sending a shiver down your spine.

Despite all his self doubts, Leon knew how to love, how to send another person to cloud nine and make their head fuzzy with sheer euphoria. He wasn’t fucking you, he was loving you, there’s a clear difference.

His lips trailed to your jawline, eventually reaching your lips and initiating an uncoordinated make out session, the sound of dazed out whimpers and quiet growls mixing together perfectly.

He was getting there, his pace more erratic than before, his hand squeezing yours tightly. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbled against your lips, speaking in between rushed pecks. “Prettiest girl in the world.”

You managed to smile at that. “Yeah? Well you’re the prettiest boy in the world.”

You could’ve said handsome. Or hot. Or cute. But Leon was pretty, that was always the first thing that came to your mind. He was like a model, surely some agency would have tried to recruit him if he were actually in broad daylight more.

“Mm.” He liked the compliment. No more words were exchanged after that, he was focused on feeling you. Feeling the way you took all of him like it was nothing, clearly the two of you were physically made for one another.

There was no going back from this, Leon couldn’t bear the thought of getting a taste of happiness yet again and then falling back into a hopeless pit. He wouldn’t push you away again.

You were already sensitive from the way he had made you cum on his face earlier. You pulled away from his kisses, your head thrashing side to side against the pillow instead, your hips desperately bucking to meet his.

“Leon…”

“Just let go for me, you can do it.”

Moans ripped from your throat, your nails leaving crescent indents on his skin as your body writhed underneath him. Leon couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you came, his own stomach feeling tighter and tighter until he followed suit.

“I love you.” He let it slip at the very end, his mind too dazed and his emotions for you running at full blast. You would’ve replied if not for the way you were in awe, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed, his head tilted back, his mouth let out the raspiest grunts as he pulled out and came. Fuck, he couldn’t be real.

It was only then that Leon’s head cleared. He felt his heart sink to his stomach, had he said something wrong? The moment died down, he felt uncertain about how you’d react. Regardless, Leon took a moment to admire you in your flushed state before leaning down to kiss your head, then lying down beside you and pulling you to his side.

You were all dazed with his confession lingering in your head.

He still loved you. Maybe it was obvious, but hearing it aloud was a completely different feeling.

All the suppressed emotions between the two of you were being put on the spotlight. Your eyes brimmed with unshed tears, you tried to blink them away, but you failed.

Leon wished your eyes hadn’t gotten glossy and that your lips hadn’t tugged into a small frown. It made his heart physically ache. Heavy hearted, that’s what he felt like, swallowing to try to alleviate just how sore his throat felt all of a sudden. Guilt bubbled in his stomach because he knew he was the source of your tears.

He kissed away your tears, welcoming the salty taste of them.

He couldn’t tell you not to cry, he wasn’t in the position to. All he could do was reassure you instead, curling his hand into a fist before rubbing soothing circles onto your back as he watched you curl against him.

“Hey…”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to start crying. I just…you still love me? Did you mean that?”

“It’s okay. Just let it out, I'm here for you.” He had your head tucked underneath his chin. “And yeah…I never stopped.”

“I love you too.”

He wasn’t leaving this time.

Maybe that ring he held onto would find its true owner soon.

You, his sweet girl.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #leon kennedy oneshot #resident evil oneshot

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uhhidkkenny · 1 year ago

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𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

𝕁𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕃𝕦𝕗𝕗𝕪 𝕩 𝔽𝕖𝕞 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

☀︎︎𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝙻𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚎��𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢/𝚗, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗?

☀︎︎𝙲𝚆: 𝟷𝟾+ 𝚂𝙼𝚄𝚃. 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝙻𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢. 𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙳𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚊𝚕. 𝙿 𝚒𝚗 𝚅. 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙾𝚛𝚊𝚕 (𝙵 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐) 𝙲𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚙𝚒𝚎. ☀︎︎𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟹.𝟸𝚔

Ever since y/n joined the straw hats over 2 years ago, Luffy was attached to her hip. Luffy was always intrigued with y/n. The pair were always with one another, sharing secrets, getting a little too close, but they were just friends. Luffy was never sure why he was so infatuated with y/n. Maybe it was the fact that she smelled like sunflowers and vanilla, maybe it was her pretty plump lips, was it her curvy figure, or was it cause she was funny, caring, and sweet? He didn’t get it but y/n was always on his mind. He needed to focus on achieving his goal of becoming king of the pirates, he didn’t need to have most of his head filled with thought of y/n, but no matter how hard he tried his thoughts always circled back to her. He didn’t know why.

He was also very unsure why he felt like he could murder Zoro right now with his own swords, or the fact that he wanted to cut Sanji hands off with the kitchen knives he uses to cook his meals daily. The way Zoro wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer during the late night party the crew was having after leaving fishman island. Or the way Sanji has constantly been trying to get her attention. Granted that seems like basic Sanji behavior, something is just different after being separated for 2 years.

Luffys friendship with y/n wasn’t exactly classified as a friendship. Not with all the lingering touches, kisses on the cheeks, holding hands, even sneaking into each others beds at night just for cuddles. People didn’t just do these things with friends, they both knew that, but according to Luffy anytime he was asked, that’s all you were to him. A friend.

Luffy began to get frustrated with everyone asking what the relationship was between the pair. Luffy being asked the same question so many times made him feel like a bear being poked during hibernation. He wasn’t ready to accept any feelings he had for y/n himself, let alone admit it to the crew. Finally, Luffy snapped after Ussop asked for the last time what he thought about y/n. He looked down at the ground and said in a stern and serious tone, “She’s just another crew mate. You guys are annoying.” and walked away.

Y/n heard it. She never thought that words could hurt but it felt like her heart was ripped out and stomped on. She didn’t have the right to be upset though, they weren’t together, Y/n had said plenty times before that they were only friends. She didn’t know why her heart felt this way or why her face suddenly felt wet as she turned around to walk the other way. Maybe Luffy was having a bad day. Maybe y/n was overreacting, but the way her fists clenched until they turned white said everything she couldn’t say herself.

After a few days had passed since y/n heard how Luffy truly felt, and she began to distance herself from Luffy. She found things to do that weren’t next to or around him. She made sure she sat in at the opposite end of the dining table. She stopped sneaking into his bed and began locking her door at night. Was it petty? Yes. But she wasn’t ready to face him yet.

The day y/n was gonna confront Luffy on what he had said was the day that the crew first made it to Sabaody. There were immediately more important things to worry about. Ultimately the start of the adventure to the new world resulted in the separation of all the straw hats. Luffy could still remember the look in y/n’s eyes before she was sent to another island.

2 years passed at this point. The whole crew had changed with their looks, but nothing changed in anyone’s love and care for each other. Life basically just resumed for everyone. Aside from Luffy and y/n. Luffy and y/n were still lively but we’re doing some things together again. Laughing, doing stupid shit, and helping one another, but there was still unspoken tension from before they were separated. Luffy and y/n both looked more mature now but neither of them had the courage to talk about what was happening 2 years ago. The whole crew was so busy once finally getting on the sunny and making it to fishman island that there was no time for either of the two to speak their mind.

The crew had made it to Fishman island successfully and defeated Hody and his minions. On the voyage back up to the surface of the new world the crew decided to catch up, tell their stories, and drink in celebration of their victory. The night was lively and everyone was enjoying themselves, except Luffy. Sanji was overjoyed making y/n her drinks, giving her compliments, and basically just drooling over y/n and it was quite frankly, pissing Luffy off.

Y/n had a drink or two or three herself and felt pretty talkative. She made her rounds making an effort to talk to everyone about their own adventure and Luffy was happily waiting for y/n to notice him. Luffy had time to talk with everyone already but her. When she made it to Zoro, who had way too many drinks, the conversation was just too much for Luffys liking. Zoro was laughing too hard at her jokes, y/n was blushing too hard at some of his remarks, but the worst part was the “subtle” touches. Luffy watched as her hand found a spot on Zoros shoulder and Zoros arm snaked around her waist. Luffy was heated.

Luffy was reminded of all the times that those laughs and touches were for him. The times when story telling turned into cuddling, or the times the subtle touches turned into gentle kisses on the blush of cheeks or the tip of a nose. He was gonna go insane just thinking of y/n with anyone, let alone his best friend.. Luffy didn’t have the right to be mad though. You were just his friend, but Luffy thought you were acting like this on purpose, just to get under his skin. After slamming down his mug on the table, he stormed into the kitchen. Luffy didn’t even notice he caught the crews attention, not even y/n’s.

Luffy had been acting out of character ever since leaving Fishman island. The crew just assumed it was due to how much blood he lost from the fight and he was still trying to recoup from it. Y/n however, knew it had to be more than that. Without a second thought she removed Zoros arm and began to follow Luffy. She didn’t even look at Zoro much less give him an explanation, too focused on Luffy and making sure he was ok. Y/n was scared something had happened to Luffy, maybe he was still hurting, maybe someone upset him, but what about when he upset her? Mind filling up with tipsy thoughts, y/n’s anger from 2 years ago returned. Finally reaching the kitchen door she swung it open to look for Luffy.

Luffy was sitting at the bar in the kitchen, he looked up momentarily to meet y/n’s eyes before getting up and walking away without saying a word. Y/n couldn’t help but laugh. How stupid could he continue to make her feel? Why did she even come in this kitchen? Was it to comfort him or confront him? He wasn’t even trying to see what you wanted. Ever. Everything was always about Luffy. Y/n wasn’t about to let him just walk away. Not this time. Fuck that, he needed to know everything. And her liquor filled brain was going to make sure of it.

Y/n quickly followed Luffy. “Where ya headed captain? You didn’t miss your crew?…Aww big man can’t even talk to his crew mate?” Y/n continued on but Luffy was ignoring her. “Does your boo-boo hurt that much?… I just find it crazy that you can talk to everyone but me. Why is that cap?… Why is it just me you can’t talk to? You embarrassed of me Lu?” Luffy was walking away gritting his teeth and y/n was only getting angrier. “I’m sorry am I annoying you captain? I guess someone who’s just a crew mate should realize their place right?” Luffy had finally made it to his room without a word and opened his door. “Ya know maybe this was all a mistake. I should’ve just stayed on the deck with Zo-“ Y/n was immediately cut off by Luffy grabbing her arm, pulling her into his room, and slamming the door with her back pressed against it. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by her captain finally speaking.

“You talk a lot. Ya know that?” Luffy said pinning her against his door. His hands wrapped around her wrists to keep her in place while his knee made it between her separated legs. “I had peace and quiet for 2 whole years while we were separated..” Y/n felt herself heat up from embarrassment. She began to pull away before her tears could fall from her eyes. Luffy began to lean into her ear while still holding her in place “and I fuckin hated it…” her eyes widened as she released a tiny gasp while his body was pressed against hers in a sudden movement. “God I missed you so much y/n and you’ve been too busy with Zoro all night to even see me.” He began to muzzle his face if the crook of her neck. “Luffy I-“ y/n began but was cut off. “You’ve done enough talking don’t you think? Prancing around on the deck in those tight shorts, flirting with everyone like a slut, and you couldn’t even wave at your captain.” Slowly bringing his knee higher up to her clothed mound between her thighs. Y/n feels instantly sober at the touch. “You have no clue how long it took me to think about what I would say to you when I finally saw you again…” his lips began to leave light feathery kisses along y/n’s jaw, as his grip tightened “but I guess I can just show you what I feel.”

With those words Luffy pulled his face back and leaned his lips closer to y/n’s. Moving her head forward she closed the distance. It was sweet and slow. Lips slowly moving with one another finding a steady pace. His hands released their grip on her wrist and slowly slid to her waist, placing both hands on her hips. As y/n began to lean in farther, the kiss heats up. Tongues sliding along each other. Biting at each others lips. The kiss is becoming feverish as the pair are practically sucking faces at this point. Hands roaming each others bodies as y/n bends her knees slightly to rest her clothed pussy fully on Luffys knee. A shaky breath leaves her lips at the friction. Slowly grinding her hips down onto his knee as the kiss continues. Her arms are wrapped around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer as her breathing falters. Luffy pulls back, pressing his forehead to hers. “You gonna ride my leg to show me how much you missed me? Hehehe…Come on you can do better than that.” Luffys hands begin to guide her hips along his leg. “T-too many clothes” is all she could manage to say. Y/n couldn’t cum like this even though it felt nice, but Luffy was never a quitter.

“You’re right..” he said with a smirk. Luffy reached for the hem of y/n’s shirt, pulling it over her head and then doing the same with his. “That’s better.” He said with a chuckle. His hands came up to play with her hardened nipples. Gently coming to rub at them while she continued to dry hump his leg. Y/n leaned in for a kiss but Luffy pulled his face away. She whined in resilience. “Cum for me and I’ll give you what you want. Come on you missed your captain right?” He leaned in to lick and suck at her nipples. Y/n continued to drag herself on her captains leg and truthfully on the stimulation was getting her close. Her hands tugging at his hair while letting out breathy gasps and whines. Y/n could feel the heat building up in her stomach. Her movements began to stutter and Luffy took this as a sign. “Nobody can make you feel this good but me.” Moving his arms to wrap around her waist and lifting his knee higher, he began to suck on one nipple while tugging the other. Switching back and forth, Luffy began bounce her on his knee.

Eventually it all be came too much for y/n. The friction of Luffys knee, the bouncing, his hands on her, his mouth sucking at her nipples. The tight heat in her belly finally overflowed as she felt herself shaking on his knee. “Good job. I knew you could do it pretty girl.” He said picking her up and walking over to the bed gently laying her down. Luffy began removing the reminder of clothing y/n was wearing, leaving her bare in front of her captain. Blushing she moved her hand to slightly cover herself before Luffy moved her arms away. “Don’t get all shy on me now. I just wanna show you how much I missed you…” he’s on top of her spreading her legs again with hands folding her in half while moving his face closer to her wet pussy “this is what you wanted right? Some attention?”

He licks a fat stripe up y/ns pussy and she can no longer keep her voice down. Her whines and moans escaping without a second thought as Luffy continues to lap at her cunt. Flicking his tongue fast on her clit while taking two of his fingers and jamming them into her sipping wet hole. Y/n’s back arched off the bed as she gripped the sheets. “T-too much Luffy.” She said breathlessly. He ignored her keeping her folded in half with one hand on the back of her thigh, he sucked on her clit while his fingers pumped in and out. His fingers found a spongey spot inside her cunt and the cord in y/n’s belly snapped again as she spasmed on Luffys face.

He slurped up every single drop of her slick that leaked out until she was clean. Luffy slowed his pace a little bit but didn’t stop. Continually pumping his fingers in. Still lightly suckling at her clit. Y/n was breathless and twitching. The overstimulation was killing her but it felt too good to even stop him. Her hands slowly in gripping the sheets as she tried to move her hands to Luffys head that was still between her thighs. Once her hands made contact with his head he pulled away.

His face was covered in her wetness. His eyes were lidded and cock was begging to be released from his shorts. He looked just as pathetic as you. Luffy wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. Leaning up on her elbows Luffy met y/n halfway with his bare chest pressed against hers as their lips collided in a slow but needy kiss. Both parties releasing moans and groans from just how much they missed each other. They needed each other. Was this an extreme way of showing it? Yes but actions speak louder than words. “Captain?” Y/n finally pulled away to question the man she’s been after for 2 years. “Yea baby?” He responded breathlessly. “Please fuck me” she begged.

Tugging his shorts off, he laid on his back next to her. Her eyes wouldn’t leave his cock. It was so pretty. It was long with a dark pinkish brownish tip that was glistening with precum. “Why don’t you get on here and apologize instead?” he said with the biggest smirk, already pulling y/n up and hovering her pussy over his cock. Hands on her hips as he glides her soaking pussy over his aching cock. “F-fuck y/n, go ahead and say you’re sorry so I can fuck you how you want.” The pleasure was intense but y/n didn’t forget that Luffy started this. Grinding her hips down to meet his as his tip kisses her clit perfectly each time they meet one another’s movements. “I think you should apologize C-captain, fuck. You’re the one who said I’m only a crew mate to you.” They were both stupid and moaning in desperation but they were equal in stubbornness. “You know and I know that’s a lie y/n. I’m sorry I ain’t say it sooner ~fuck~ but you never told me you felt some type of way.” Luffy isn’t making this any easier for himself, he would cum right now if he didn’t wanna fuck y/n so bad. The lewd wet noises were getting to them both. “That’s all I needed to hear Lu~ I’m sorry for ignoring you earlier, I just wanted to-“ that’s all Luffy needed to hear before lifting y/n’s hips off of his to bring her back down, impaling her with his cock.

Both letting out a whine. The stretch was so good y/n couldn’t help but start to bounce immediately. “Fuck captain I’m so sorry” y/n was moaning like a whore. Having already cum three times, her g spot getting hit every time her hips met Luffys, and the pure emotion behind it all she was already close. Luffys feet found a firm spot on the mattress to lip his hips to y/n’s continuously. “I’m sorry too baby. Mmm please forgive me.” Luffy was thrusting up into y/n at an ungodly pace. His tip was hitting her g spot perfectly. “Gonna cum Lu~” she said breathlessly as she began to clench around his cock. Luffy let out the sluttiest moan, which half the crew could probably hear, as they both came with each other. Immediately y/n slumped forward with Luffy still inside, laying her head on his chest. Luffy wrapped his arms around her torso and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I love you Lu” y/n admitted softly closing her eyes. “I love you too y/n” Luffy said before drifting off.

The crew was very much still awake and awaiting the return of the pair. “Should we go check on them?” Chopper worried since the two had been gone for so long. After hearing the loud moan escape from Luffy, the rest of the crew decided to pretend that y/n pranked Luffy and they must have went to bed. Even though the tears from the chef and the scoff from the swordsman didn’t go unnoticed, the tension was finally at ease.

A/N: 2nd fic I’ve done!! I did this one a little differently so please let me know how you guys feel🖤 GO READ MY NEWEST FIC! Out now “angel in black”

𝑻𝒂𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @soobunni @astahsvea @asheyy

@kingofthe-egirls @fanficwriter5 @scarwicht

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wooziorgans · 7 days ago

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hi noah , im back here again , so its winter.....and i need hybernation .....with jihoon..............

i have some thoughts wanna elaborate it?

— baby, it’s cold outside!

genre: pure tooth rotting fluff. a little angsty if u squint. a little suggestive.

warnings: reader has (kind of) seasonal depression. soft jihoon hours. extraordinarily sleepy reader. clingy jihoon. he’s a little bit worried about reader. long haired jihoon bcs i miss his long hair so much. mentions of jihoon’s dick being out and about. having comfort food and hot chocolate w jihoon. reader gets a little teary eyed (out of love).

word count: 2.7k

a/n: hiiii im back from my little break. probably. i miss long haired uji sooo much this is super self indulgent. hope this is sufficient enough for hibernation.

when jihoon gets home, it’s only just after six in the evening. all things considered, it’s quite early for him to be home. but it’s winter, and it’s cold. and he knows how you get when the weather is like this.

the television is on, but jihoon doesn’t hear your voice at the sound of the door closing. when he walks around to the couch he sees you curled up, soft puffs of air leaving your lips, lashes resting against your cheeks. you’re out cold, which is a little shocking considering jihoon had texted you only twenty minutes earlier to let you know he was on his way home and you responded.

he’s been making more of an effort to come home earlier. you need him more in the colder seasons; something well established even before you were dating. it’s your first winter together, and there’s nothing jihoon loves more than coming home out of the cold to you and your warmth.

jihoon crouches down, knees cracking softly as he carefully brushes his thumb over your cheek. you stir softly, eyebrows furrowed as you slowly wake up. jihoon waits for you to open your eyes before he speaks. “hey. you fell asleep in your work clothes.” all he gets in response is a tired grumble and a soft whine. “let’s go get you changed, baby.”

you whine again, pouting at him softly. “jus’ wanna sleep.” you murmur. jihoon chuckles softly as your hand comes up to grab at his arm.

“i know, baby. i know, but if you sleep now you won’t be able to sleep tonight. ‘n then you’ll be all grumpy tomorrow and we can’t have that.” he coos at you softly. jihoon hardly ever babies you. he firmly believes that you’re an adult and you don’t need it, but when you’re like this he gives in. when you’re like this, you need him to speak to you with a softer tone and look at you with gentle eyes.

you huff, not out of annoyance, just a simple deep breath. you roll onto your back, taking a moment to breathe deeply before you force yourself to sit up. jihoon helps, hand on the small of your back instead of your cheek. he stands, giving you a moment to gather your bearings before he offers you a hand.

you take it, and he pulls you up carefully, pulling you to his chest for a moment to hold you. you melt into him, sighing deeply as you breathe in his scent. he smells like vanilla and lavender, warm and comforting with a soft floral undertone that’s so distinctly him. it wakes you up a little bit more.

jihoon has half the mind to carry you to the bedroom as you stumble over your feet, down the hall to your shared room. he doesn’t, though, just holds your hand firmly as he guides you. he guides you to the bed, carefully helping you sit down. he rummages through your drawers, already knowing the kind of pyjamas you like to wear in this kind of weather.

he pulls out a pair of fluffy pyjama pants with little pictures of reindeer and trees printed onto the fabric. he then moves to the closet, not even blinking as he grabs one of his own hoodies for you to wear.

he returns to you, and you lift your arms for him to remove the shirt you wore to work. there’s this incredibly fond and tender smile on his lips, and suddenly you feel shy. jihoon doesn’t bat an eye as he looks at your bare chest, just slips the hoodie over your head and fixes your hair after he pulls the hood from your head.

you manage to get your pants off on your own, that shyness making it impossible to let him do the task at hand. you let him pulls the soft pyjama pants up your leg though. still, he can tell that you want to be the one to pull them over your ass, and he lets you.

once you’re all taken care of and comfy, jihoon reruns to the dresser to change out of his clothes. you stare at him as he removes his hoodie, pulling on one that’s not quite as warm. his socks come off next, as do his pants and then his boxers. at this point, his back is to you, and the view of his ass makes your mouth water, but you have far too little energy to be horny right now.

still, you can’t help but stare as he turns slightly to the side, cock swinging as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants. jihoon returns to the bed, standing over you. there’s a warm flush to your face, and he knows you’re trying to hide it. jihoon holds the back of your head as he leans down to kiss your forehead. his fingers card through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. you preen softly, pushing your face into his neck.

jihoon just chuckles at you softly. you pull away to look up at him at the sound of his laugh. there’s a soft pout on your lips, and jihoon can’t resist tipping your head up and kissing you softly. you hum against his lips, a soft smile forming as he kisses you softly incredibly softly.

“c’mon sweetheart. i’ll order us some food.” jihoon pushes his knee in between your legs. you open them for him and he stands between them before he leans down to scoop you up. you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck as he carries you back to the couch. you push your face into his neck as he uses his knee to push the plush ottoman to the couch.

jihoon sits on the couch with you falling into his lap. your legs fall to his sides, straddling him. “long day?” he asks softly, hand holding your hip as the other rubs your back under the fabric of his hoodie on you. you hum, nodding against his neck. he reaches for his phone, which he had left on the couch when he got home to order food.

you and jihoon have morphed into each other. his favourite foods have become yours; a new affinity for white rice, how you reach for a coke zero instead of pepsi, the way you now cook extra chicken, savouring the taste of protein just as much as he does. he doesn’t even need to ask what you want to eat tonight, knowing you’re in need of some good comfort food.

the spring rolls and cutlets added to his cart with extra white rice, knowing it’s exactly what you want right now. deep fried wontons as an extra treat. “how about i make us some hot chocolate once the food gets here?” he asks, and you hum again, nodding with a little more energy.

“that would be nice. please.” you mumble, kissing the skin of his neck in appreciation. you can feel the sudden fullness of his cheek against your head. you know he’s smiling, teeth on display and eyes shaped into crescents. you pull away from his neck to look at him.

he flashes the screen of his phone to you once you’re looking at him. “anything else you want?” he asks softly, squeezing your hip gently.

“literally all i want right now is to cuddle.” you mutter, bringing a hand up to his cheek to feel his skin. jihoon places the order on food before he sets his phone down. he looks up at you with sparkling eyes, taking your hand in his and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“that, i can do.” he breathes out. the heat that spreads across your face once again has the soft smile returning to jihoon’s face. he adores you. all the time, but especially when you’re this bashful and shy.

you hold his hand, squeezing softly as you interlace your fingers with his. “thank you,” you whisper softly, “for ordering food tonight even though i was supposed to cook.” you can’t look at him as you say it.

“you’re exhausted, baby. anything to lighten the load. always.” jihoon’s large brown eyes sparkle at you. you feel a sudden bubble of emotions forming in your chest at his words. despite their simplicity, you know they’re much more loaded.

i’ll take the burden for you if it means you get to conserve your energy. i’ll clean up if it means you get to rest. i’ll take care of you if it means you get to relax. you’re safe with me. you’re home with me. “i love you.” you whisper, eyes shining with small tears.

“i love you too, so much. i know today was rough, but you did so good. i want you to rest now, okay? let me do the work now.” jihoon’s hand moves up from your back to your face as he cradles it in his hand. “hey, don’t cry. you’re safe with me, baby. i promise.” his thumb brushes under your eye, wiping away the single tear that falls.

“‘m sorry.” you whisper, pushing your face back into his neck.

“don’t apologize, love. you’ve done nothing wrong.” jihoon’s not great with dealing with other people’s emotions, but he’s able to calm you down in an instant. you nod against his neck, shifting down his legs. he knows what cuddling position you want to be in now. he slides down the couch with you, reaching over to grab a pillow to put behind his head.

with both of your legs spanned over the ottoman, jihoon spreads his. you lay your head on his stomach, arms wrapping around his midsection as you play with the fabric of his hoodie. his hand finds your hair, brushing it back from your face. “how long until food gets here?” you ask softly. there’s a new air in your voice, and the small crying session you had makes you a little more alert.

“thirty minutes. did you eat at work today?” he asks, gently playing with your hair.

“mhm, but i’m hungry.” you giggle quietly as you look up at him. it seems you’ve also adopted his large appetite, though you’re not as big of an eater as he is.

you stay in this position until the food arrives, though you’re both incredibly comfortable and reluctant to pull away from each other. the food on the other side of the door is enticing enough for you to crawl off of him and into a sitting position as he pecks your lips softly with a sweet promise of being right back.

the paper bag of takeout containers falls into your lap and jihoon gives you another quick peck. “i’ll make us hot chocolate. you can eat.” he pads off to the kitchen, the soft thump of his feet against the linoleum floor comforting. still, you wait for him to return before you start to dig in.

jihoon is back in no time, though it seems like forever, with two cups of steaming hot chocolate. he hands you your cup, grabbing the tray table that sits in corner of the room for you to have a stable surface to set your drinks on.

you wait until he’s seated beside you to take a sip of your drink. the smooth whipped cream on the top, the chocolate shavings on top and the hot-but-not-too-hot temperature of the warm milk mixed with powder is comforting. it fills your body with warmth as you sip on it. jihoon drinks from his own cup, glancing over at you for silent approval.

you hum in delight, a small ring of cream around your lips. jihoon laughs softly, tipping your head up to kiss it off you. you melt into him, eyes fluttering shut as you tuck a strand of hair behind his ear with your free hand. he, in turn, melts into you, trying to place his mug on the side table. he does so successfully, taking yours from you to set it beside his. with both of your hands free, jihoon cups your face gently, thumb brushing over your jaw as he slides his tongue into your mouth.

jihoon’s mouth is warm, laced gently with the sweetness of chocolate and cream as he kisses you. typically, these warm, comfy moments lead to soft love making. it’s too early in the evening, and as much as you want to relish in the feeling of jihoon, you simply don’t have the energy tonight. both of you are perfectly content with the soft make out over a cup of hot chocolate. jihoon is more than happy to simply kiss you until all of the weight of the day melt off of you.

your hand grabs at his hoodie weakly as he bites at your bottom lip. you’re so compliant to him, willing to do whatever if it means you simply get to be close to him. jihoon loves you, love the softness of your body as his hand slips under the loose waistband of your pyjama pants— not with the purpose of initiating anything; simply to squeeze the fat on your hip and smooth his hand over the swell of your ass.

you both pull away, panting. the cream is gone from your lips, both of you forgetting why you even kissed each other in the first place. jihoon grabs a few blankets from the corner of the couch, separating himself from you for only a moment as he spreads the over both of your laps. he pulls you close to him, cracking open the take out containers so you both can start eating.

hot chocolate forgotten, you finish most of the food that jihoon ordered while a show plays on the television that neither of you are paying attention to. he slips away, yet again and much to your dismay, to put it in the fridge. he’s back in no time, right next to you once again as you curl into his side. jihoon wraps an arm around you, pulling your head onto his chest. your ear rests right over his heart before you readjust your position so you can finish your respective drinks.

the shaved chocolate, both milk chocolate and white, have melted into the cream. it sticks to your lips as jihoon reaches for his own cup. he takes a long sip, crossing his legs as you throw one of yours over his. his thighs are muscular under your own, and your free hand rests against his knee.

you’re warm, both from the hot chocolate and jihoon’s body heat. the blankets over top of you only add to the warmth, but there’s something else bubbling under the surface. another kind of warmth, something deep within your chest. something specific to jihoon. love.

hot chocolate finished, your cups find their place back on the side table. jihoon turns on his hips to face you, throwing a leg over yours. the television drones on, but both of you are too caught up in each other to pay any attention to it. jihoon pulls you into his chest, kissing your forehead softly. his hair falls into your face, but you don’t mind.

you nuzzle into his neck, face pressing against a soft vein in his neck. you can feel his heart beating through the vein, and you only press your nose into it more. all of that exhaustion from an hour ago is gone; obsolete as you focus on jihoon and jihoon only.

he’s never outright with his affectionate for you, but when you’re like this, he clings to you a little more. he does a little more work for you to be able to save your energy for the next day. you’ve never felt so loved. even in the greys of winter, jihoon remains so incredibly vibrant to you.

you know that, even if you’re cold and tired, jihoon will brave the storm with you. he’ll always keep you warm.

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withleeknow · 9 months ago

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seasons of you.

pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, tooth-rotting fluff or at least i hope so lmao, not v edited and literally no one is surprised lol i sound like a broken record atp just adding that into every post word count: 0.7k note: inspired by a highly fucked up thing that @matchannie said to me yesterday lmao it has not left my brain since you said it you absolute monster

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / masterlist / ko-fi

minho falls in love with you four times a year.

minho falls in love with you in the spring, over blooming cherry blossoms and vibrant daffodils that greet you on your weekly sunset walk. over the feeling of your fingers intertwined with his own without soft fluffy gloves getting in the way, now that it's finally warm enough to retire that extra layer of protection for the season. over the sun coming out of hibernation and filling your days with golden light, falling upon your face and casting you in a magical hue. over the remnants of winter that still leave behind a palpable chill in the air early in the morning or late in the night, that has you reaching out for the comfort of his warmth. over your delighted smile when he brings home a bouquet of tulips after a long day at work. over your glassy eyes, reddened nose and flushed cheeks as he takes care of you when the seasonal allergies kick in.

minho falls in love with you in the summer, over picnics in the park where you both lay on blue gingham picnic blankets, your head on his chest, as you watch the clouds overhead drift peacefully. over watermelon gelatos passed between teasing lips, the confectionary melting too quickly for your liking under the blazing sunlight. over spontaneous drives to the beach even though neither of you can swim, but you go just for fun, just to build sand sculptures in the shape of your cat babies and stand on the edge of the water to splash at each other. over long naps on the couch on days where you're too lazy to venture into the outside heat, preferring to stay cuddled up together under the air conditioner with niki playing in the background.

minho falls in love with you in fall, over shared slices of pumpkin pie as you watch the leaves turn yellow and red right outside your window. over the adorable way you hide your face behind your hands on nights where he puts on a horror movie because he insists on honoring the halloween spirit. over your off-key rendition of taylor swift's all too well (the 10-minute version) for most of the season because you adamantly claim that it's autumn's official anthem. over weekends spent attached at the hip, baking sugar cookies for hours on end. over your crestfallen pout as you take note of how the days keep getting shorter and shorter, already missing warm sunny weeks with all your heart.

minho falls in love with you in winter, over matching scarves and beanies, even though he often has to carry them for you because you have a bad habit of forgetting them before you go out. over the first snow of the season because they say that if you witness the first snowfall with the person you love, then you will stay together for a long, long time. over sweet cuddles in bed as a bad christmas movie plays on tv, and you fall asleep on his shoulder about half an hour into the movie despite being the one to select the movie in the first place. over your return from a shopping spree with your girlfriends with nothing for yourself but everything for soondoongdori, from christmas themed clothes to treats and toys.

but then again, maybe it's not entirely accurate to say that minho falls in love you merely four times a year. if he wants to be precise, then he would say that he falls for you anew every morning he wakes up and sees you asleep in his arms like a delicate miracle granted by a star he once used to wish upon. if he wants to get technical, then he falls in love with you with every smile that you send his way, which is a terribly sappy thing for him to admit but it doesn't make the statement any less true.

minho loves you every day of every week, of every month, of every year. he's loved you before he even met you, when you were just a romanticized idea in his head and hadn't yet walked into his life like the angel he was always meant to find. he loves you every minute of every hour; there isn't a second where you're not on his mind, not a single beat of his heart that doesn't spell out your name. he loves you throughout the seasons and a million times in between.

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos @mjnhoz @caitlyn98s @piercidh34rts @stayceebs97 @linocz @yaorzu-blog @biribarabiribbaem @kayleefriedchicken @extrhotjne @caitxx1 @palindrome969 @todorokiskitten @azuna-sz @meanergreener @nxzz-skz @jazziwritesthings @poutypoutybin @bookyeom @jisuperboard @wyzminho @amarecerasus @channection @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @judeduartewannabe @chanshyunjin @firelordtsuki @astronomicallyyy @alm334 @lashaemorow

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #lee know fluff #lee know scenarios #lee know x reader #lee know imagines #lee know x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #stray kids #lee know #lee minho

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fandomtrumpshate · 9 months ago

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Totals Time!

It's been a year of records and record-breaking. Of reaching new fandom spaces and building new community ties. It's been wild. And absolutely fantastic.

When we closed the auction signup window we had 981 offers —nearly 150 more than we'd ever had before. When we re-opened it for 4 more hours, hoping to find another 19 folks (because we wondered what an auction with 1000 offers would look like) you all came through in spades, boosting the auction everywhere and bringing back 100 new offers in 15 new fandoms, bringing us to 1081 offers this year - a 33% increase over our previous record.

And you all weren't done breaking records. Shattering them.

This is the first year that any of our supported nonprofit orgs has received a 5-digit sum. And? TWO of them did.

So. Are you ready to see what our community has done? Are you ready for the numbers?

This year

thanks to all of you

FTH raised…

$67,931.28

The breakdown of donations to orgs looks like this -

This brings our eight-year total to

$307,439.14

Huge thanks to our 797 creators offering 1081 auctions in more than 400 different fandoms and subfandoms, and to everyone who bid! And to our 17 fan crafters who brought in $4,127 of that total —60% more than our previous crafting record!

So, what's next?

Contact deadlines:

Creators, be sure you contact your bidders by April 1, and bidders, on your end please respond to their communication by April 15!

Bidders need to provide their creator with a workable prompt by June 30 (unless you've worked out a different timeline together) to ensure they have plenty of time to finish their fanwork.

Once the fanwork is posted, let us know via our form (can you believe FOURTEEN creators have already finished??) and if you’re posting it on AO3 be sure to add it to the Fandom Trumps Hate 2024 collection. If you’re writing a fic for FTH and need help from our Regiment of Fan Laborers, email us! As always, the deadline for completed fanworks is December 31.

We hope that for at least some people, your involvement in FTH will lead to continued action throughout the year. Sign up for our organizations’ email lists, check out their volunteer opportunities, and help boost their signals on social media!

And if you’d like to run your own fanworks auction for a good cause, we can help get you started!

We have a packet of organizational materials we’ve been sharing with other auction organizers since 2017; we’re planning to spend the month of April overhauling and updating these materials to incorporate many of the improvements we’ve implemented since then. If you’re thinking about organizing an auction or fanworks exchange in your fandom to raise money for a good cause, we would love to share those materials with you. Contact us at fandomtrumpshate at gmail.com and we can send you our auction playbook, as well as answer any questions you have about our process.

Your mods (@porcupine-girl, @captainbunnicula, @tiltedsyllogism, @anyawen, @renjunbabygirl, @trickybonmot, and @a-still-small-vox) are going to be going into post-auction hibernation mode (or, for most of us, post-auction deal-with-all-this-other-stuff mode) for a little while. So if you email us, don’t panic if we don’t get back to you immediately! We will start actively monitoring the inbox again by April 15 at the latest.

#fth 2024 #fanworks auction #donation totals

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diadraws · 2 years ago

Photo

sun basking is a behavior shared by ladybugs (because they are ectothermic, and hibernate) and cats (because they are lazy bastards) so honestly, the besties are laying on a warm roof together for an afternoon nap

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #chat noir #cat noir #ladynoir #dia draws #digital #fanart

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burnforyou · 1 month ago

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say yes to heaven

pairing: boyfriend!Jack Schlossberg x figure skater!girlfriend!reader

summary: Christmas in New York City with Jack. He's a sappy baby.

"the city is so beautiful during this time of the year," you say, gazing upon the colorful Christmas lights that give the hibernating trees life in the cold winter. the snow falls around you delicately, leaving cold patterns on your shoulders. the storefronts you walk past are perfectly decorated, advertising the most popular holiday gifts this year. Jack squeezes your hand.

"not as beautiful as you," he smiles down at you, his eyes shining as bright as the lights.

"oh, stop it," you giggle, extending your connected arms as you move away from him.

"come 'ere," he says gruffly, pulling you back in with a slight smile. he slinks his arm around your shoulder and you creep your hand under his jacket, feeling his lower back, basking in his warmth against the cold air. you round the corner, letting Jack led the way. when you're with him, you relax and let him lead you. he could lead you to the end of the world and you'd happily follow. little did you know, Jack was riddled with anxiety the whole walk.

the bright lights of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree illuminate your face and your heart.

"wow," you breathe out, your breath appearing in the cold air. Jack smiles down at you, his eyes so full of love.

"is it better than you imagined?" he asked with a nervous smile.

"way better." you don't take your eyes off the scenery, admiring the empty ice rink.

"Mr. Schlossberg?" a male voice sounds from behind you. Jack turns around, moving you with him. he holds two pairs of ice skates in his hands. you gasp and smile up at jack.

"thank you," he says, taking the skates. "here," he hands him a wad of cash, "give him your purse," he whispers to you. you hand the man the purse and smile. he walks away without a word.

"here, come this way," Jack says, grasping your hand with his empty one. he leads you down concrete stairs beside the glistening rink. you cant tear your eyes off the golden statue, sat below the tree.

"sit here," he offers, placing the skates on a bench. he brushes the light snow flurries off the seat and pats it, indicating you to sit down. you sit down and he kneels on the ground before you, slipping off your ugg boots. you admire his perfect features from above, small flurries landing on his nose and dark hair. he pushes the skate onto your foot and laces it up. you run your finger nails through his hair and he smiles, feeling the butterflies in his stomach.

"I love you," you say through your smile, tilting his head up to look at you. he tears his eyes from your skate to your face, his deep brown eyes blazing and his cheeks pink. he bites his lip and stares at you. his palms get sweaty and he takes shallow breaths. he goes back to tying your skates for you, enjoying taking care of you. he quickly puts his skates on and leads you to the rink. you glide onto the rink together, your actions smooth from years of skating.

"you should show me some of your moves," he says, his smile never leaving his face, "you know how much I love watching you skate." you let go of his hand and glide in front of him, turning around once you're a few feet away. the lights from the tree reflecting below your feet.

"what do you want me to do?"

"do one of those pretty glides, where you balance on one foot and the other one goes up," he suggests, pulling his phone out of his pocket. you skate around the rink, focusing on your balance and pretending like he's not watching. you feel his hot stare on you. he can't take his eyes off of you. he starts recording you on his phone as you round the turn and hold your breath, lifting your leg up and strengthening your core like you've done thousands of times before. the wind on your face and the sound of your skate scratching the ice comforts you. getting to share your joy for skating with Jack is so special. he never gets tired of watching you.

you gracefully complete the move for him and skate back to him, pretending to bow and wave to a crowd. he claps for you.

"wonderful, beautiful," he praises, clapping. you feel his praise in your stomach. "now, come here," he says, putting his arm around your shoulder. "I have something to show you." he guides you closer to the golden sculpture. you admire the details in the art.

"this is Prometheus, a Greek titan. he's meant to represent human striving, new frontiers, like new beginnings or discoveries. he's sat on a mountain, which is earth. but to me, he's sat on all that has come before him. he's sitting on history. he's surrounded by the fountain," he points to the water around the bronze statue, "which represents the sea. to me, he's surrounded by the present. and there, circling him is the ring of the zodiacs, or the heavens. and that's the future. a bright future full of stars and stories. that's what I want with you, y/n." you rip your eyes away from the art and look up at him, his eyes already on you.

"y/n, I-," he sighs, closing his eyes and starting again. his eyes glisten with tears and yours reflect his.

"these past 2 years i've spent with you have been the best years of my life. when I think about it, I feel like him," he gestures to Prometheus, "sitting on my past and going into, or, wanting new beginnings. forever. when I think about our future together its like the heavens that surround him. it- it is heaven. the idea of being with you forever is heaven." you grab onto his arms, his words making you weak. a cold tear falls down your face and he wipes it away, his hand remaining on your face. he holds you, his star, his love. he guides your face to look back up at the sculpture, pointing at his empty bronze hand. there, on his ring finger, is a silver ring. you cover your mouth and tears uncontrollably fall. beside you, jack gets down on one knee on the ice and pulls out a black velvet box from his coat pocket.

"Jack," you say through your tears.

"y/n," he says, smiling up at you, also holding back his tears. "will you marry me?" he smiles, opening the box. inside is a huge, toi et moi sterling silver sing with a green and white crystal beside each other.

"Jack," you cry out, trying to hug him, you don't care how, you just want to hold him. before you know it, you're lying on top of him and he's flat on the ice, laughing in your ear.

"are you alright?" you inquire, holding the back of his head, your eyes full of worry. he sits up, leaning back on his hands. your legs stay wrapped around his waist.

"baby, i'm fine," he says, kissing your cheek, "as long as I'm with you I am perfect."

"you're so cheesy," you laugh.

"so, is that a yes?" he asks, holding the ring in front of you again.

"jack, yes!" you smile together uncontrollably. he grasps your left hand with his icy one, slips the large ring onto your finger, and kisses your hand.

"I love you," he exclaims, rubbing your hand with his thumb.

#jack schlossberg #jack schlossberg x reader #jack schlossberg fanfic #jack schlossberg imagine #Jack schlossberg fluff #my works #divider by cafekitsune

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scarlovebot · 1 year ago

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UNSPOKEN INTENTIONS

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Summary: Natasha craves your touch

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

Natasha’s touch doesn’t go unnoticed, whether it’s her subtle hand graze against your thigh or nuzzling nose into your neck.

After all her years of abandonment she’s made up for within the time you two have been solidified together.

The beginning of your story was messy, drunken nights turned to intimate evenings - not the classic love story we all grew up to idolise.

It’s easy to pinpoint where Natasha’s need for embrace started

A breezy summer evening filled with barbecue foods and intoxicating beverages was a constant in these warmer months, surrounded by those you cherished the most.

Sprawled out against the garden furniture but closing the distance to keep warmth circulating, it became evidential that Natasha needed this the most

She lay slanted on your left hand side, arm draped across your shoulders whilst her legs encroached onto yours.

Possessing similarities to a koala, who attempted to attach herself onto you whilst going unnoticed

you noticed.

In your hands held delicacy, enough food to fill an animal ready for hibernation. The chargrilled sausage caught Natasha’s attention, going in for a mammoth of a bite you turn your head to face the beading eyes.

“Romanoff, what’s going on in that head of yours?” you say in a whisper, pointing the piece of meat in her direction

She smirks with slyness, you know that look to well.

In an attempt to play along with her games you pull your mind somewhere else, to the group. Nodding at their conversation whilst taking slow, seductive bites of your sausage.

You can only imagine how the rest of the evening played out.

Natasha used every excuse under the sun to get close to you, some of them were ridiculous but in reality you didn’t mind.

A fond moment and encounter of yours is in the colder months, surrounding by central heating and fireplaces the compound felt toasty.

however in Natasha’s mind it felt too frosty for her liking

as morning passed and afternoon arose you found yourself in the kitchen with only the red head.

You shared a liking in jazz music, both swaying to the soft beat and smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

Natasha stops in her tracks pulling herself into you, her hands found a starting point on your waist solidifying her stance.

With movements like a sly snake her warm hands sliver beneath the slim fit, figure hugging top you wore.

her dazzling green eyes look up to you, playing the puppy dog role was an easy pass.

Rolling your eyes in playful action, Natasha clears her throat “детка my hands are freezing” dragging out her sentence with pleading globes.

your very own hands travel to her backside, slowly lacing them underneath her lower half as if you were giving her the push she needed.

At your sudden but verifying movements she hums, Natasha’s grabby hands make contact with your chest - her delicate fingers rubbing circular motions, occasionally squeezing.

Tightly compressing your lips together so no sounds would escape at her desperate plead for action.

whether her intentions were meant or not you enjoyed her touch, the sexual tension always remained with the unspoken longing for Natasha’s touch starved hands.

you would never deny a lady of her womanly needs

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #marvel #black widow

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yayll · 1 month ago

Note

hai !! i am wondering if i can request something about foxzai w foxreader.. i dont mind any scenario i just want something about them in love hehe.. especially since they r both foxes:3

hiiiiii baby! i'm SO sorry this took quite a while, i was away for a bit on vacation and have just been trying to catch up on requests. for this specific one i didn't kno if you wanted them to be full on foxes or like fox hybrid ish so i went with the kitsune approach who can be both! i hope you like my interpretation and i'm srry if it's not proper but i had a lot of fun working on it for you and seeing these two in love hehe <3 love u

The winter can be harsh on the wild, this you already know. But the warmth that does remain doesn't come from the security in survival, It comes from knowing that if you make it through the season or should you perish during it you will always be under the watchful gaze of the one you love.

It's a brisk morning and in your snow lined fox den it's business as usual. There's no hibernation, only you and your silly little partner as you spend everyday together. He's a bit off, a bit goofy, but so are you for letting him live with you ever since that day he limped into your den! You nursed him back to health as best you could and he hasn't left you ever since, not that you'd ever want him to. Dazai's also lazy, selfish, and unintentionally hilarious during the most inappropriate times so you need to be careful when trying to understand his more 'dramatic' moments and-

Oh, yeah. food! Sooo hungry. You pad your way towards the soft spot you both share where he sleeps soundly, curled up in his kimono, his nine tails tightly wrapped around him. You think his bandages must keep him extra warm too, what a package deal. Oh how pretty he looks like that... You kneel and nudge him awake with a soft whisper.

"Hi... it's time to eat."

His pointy ears perk up and he pops one eye open as he scans you first thing.

"You brought food already? Woooowww... How gracious of you, cutie~"

You snicker quietly to yourself, and shake your head.

"No, we're going together. You need to start earning your meals."

"Pfft. I'd never make you earn your meals, you know."

You make another sound of sheer entertainment at his cute whining, and nudge him again, this time carding your fingers through his messy brown hair, and caressing those soft ears that twitch with every word you say. He could stay like this forever, he thinks. With your approval, hopefully he will.

"Is that so? I dunno... I'd say every time I head out into town to find your specialty canned crab it's quite a quest for me. Or when I trick those humans into giving me more tofu than usual for our stews I really do wonder if you ever stop to think if that's a harder than usual task for me-"

Your words are cut off by a swift and fluffy tail that clamps over your mouth. You stay quiet, a wide smile playing on your lips as you watch Dazai become animated in a second.

"...Okay, okay! Fine. I'll go... And of course, you'll do the cooking."

"I always do the cooking, Osamu."

"Yes, and thank god for that, because I love doing the eating~"

You quirk an eyebrow as you fold your arms across your chest and hum. He's so cute when he's being high maintenance. Despite you both being kitsune, he had you wondering if you were slowly becoming his human caretaker... Not that you would ever mind, that is.

"Mm, that you do..."

Dazai then stretches himself, his body becoming long as he holds the pose with his back arched, his ears flipping back as his tails fluff up, signaling he's fully awake now. He turns to you, those cunning narrowed eyes now slightly half lidded and tender. His voice is low and hoarse.

"But you know what? I also love other things..."

You tilt your head a bit as he stands to his full height, walking towards you and scanning you head to toe with that never ending gaze that oozes with affection. He knows what's going on in that little head of yours, and you almost feel bashful from the way he grants you every bit of his senses. When he reaches you, he places a hand on the top of your head inbetween your soft ears, petting you with feather light taps. He towers over you, his figure now more imposing except without the threatening aura. There could never be threat when it's just you and Dazai, because behind his goofy and easygoing exterior, there is an undying commitment to you that goes beyond life and death. And thankfully, you both will live for a long, long time despite his pesky jokes about the opposite.

He leans forward and then down enough to whisper against the shell of your ear as if he were telling you a secret.

"I love... Curry... Rice... Crab... and-"

You interrupt by looking up at him, eyes twinkling with anticipation. You weren't desperate for his tender words, for he never withheld them from you. He couldn't hide how enamored he was with you even if he tried! There was just something about hearing him say it that made you feel like it was the first time every single time. He curls one of his tails around yours, gently braiding them together as they form a furry stem, locked in place like two hands intertwined. He grins, holding your chin as you two communicate in your own little language with your eyes.

Dazai thinks about how lucky he is to be yours, through thick and thin and the coldest of winter. From the way your lashes flutter every time you blink to how your nose crinkles in the cutest ways when you laugh, he doesn't know why you entertain his mischief. Maybe he's cursed you... Maybe it's a good curse if it means you'll continue to look at him the way you aways do. Either way, you'll both see the Spring come, together.

He brings his hand down to the tip of your nose, so elegant and beautiful, and taps it while whispering.

"You. I love you. So let's go to town, yes? I'm ready to work for my meal or whatever."

You bite your lip at his call back to your previous words, trying to stop the smile from literally getting any wider as you drop the bossy act and melt for him instead. And here you thought his charm was only reserved to fool humans! You nod and when you speak, it's barely above a whisper.

"I love you too."

He leans in so close that his nose touches yours, teasing your every sense.

"I know that, cutie. Duh."

He speaks with a low purr as if stating the obvious, causing you to roll your eyes at his adorable audacity. Only Dazai could get away with this, and only you could make him feel complete this way, no matter what form he takes.

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muntitled · 1 year ago

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Campus Culture | L.DH

Pairings: Himbo!Haechan x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Haechan turns into a completely loveable but mindless replica of himself when inebriated and only Drunk Haechan might be able to seduce his uptight roomate... it only counts as a drunken mistake if it happens once, right?

Sfw Warnings: Roomates AU, Fwb to Lovers, Forbbidden Relationship, Confessions, Fluff, Alcohol consumption, Angst, CollegeAU, Himbo!Haechan

Nsfw Warnings: Smut (+18, Minors DNI) Fwb to lovers Roomate!Haechan, Perv! Haechan, Dub/CON, Grinding, Choking, Premature Ejaculation, Handjob, Needy!Haechan, Rough sex, Oral Fixation, Nipple play, Unprotected Sex (don't be dumb), Cervix Fucking, Breeding Kink, Cum Play.

A/n: This is more of an enemies to lovers if you squint. If you feel triggered by very slight depictions of bullying, please be wary. I also had no idea where I was going with this. It all just kinda spewed out. ANYWAY, I love Himbos

Usually, you're better equipped for an evening with Haechan's juvenile friends coming over and doing whatever it is that boy's seem to do once they're inebriated in each other's company.

"The bear emerges from hibernation,"

Haechan's voice is like that of a nature documentary narrator, and his head is in his hands as he leans over the armrest with a smile on his face.

“Rested, and in search of something to sink her teeth into.” You remain stoic faced as you breeze past the group of boys on your way to the kitchen adjacent to the living room.

With only a shallow counter to separate the two spaces, you're still roused by the sight of Haechan in your periphery, legs spread and head thrown back as he watches you with a dopey smile.

Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun and Jisung murmur their greetings dismissively, still vividly engrossed in their game while Chenle types away at the screen of his phone, his mind all together trapped in cyberspace. You breathe out airly as a vague sort of peace befalls you. This has become your norm.

They are so incredibly loud, Haechan's friend's are, that their cacophony bled through every thin wall in your shared apartment. So loud, in fact, that you were made privy to every degenerate, delinquent, and downright disgusting little detail that swam about in their conversation.

Whenever they were over, there was a vibrancy permeating throughout the apartment, which was either attributed to Haechan's need to speak at a higher octave than the rest of the group or Chenle’s obnoxious, though admittedly contagious laughter.

Not everything was daisies and sunshine, however.

You were made subject to Haechan's incessant teasing and petulance that only seemed to double in the presence of his friends. You ignored him, viewing his behavior as a package of a roommate system (more accurately: needing his money to keep yourself and your academic pursuits afloat.)

Even more harrowing is the fact that Haechan is completely accommodating, dare you say, even hospitable (when he's sober). It was very difficult to hate him. No matter how badly you wished to let your vexation infect the inner crevices of your mind... he always made sure to let you know in advance.

He'd knock softly on the door (a by-product of a covenant you both had forged upon deciding to live together. Knocking is something akin to treading carefully through a graveyard. Sacred) letting his usually loud voice simmer to a whisper because he almost always caught you studying at your tiny, disastrous desk and he'd say, "Hey, just a heads up, they're coming over tonight,"

You did not need clarification on the ambiguity of who 'they' were but your heart would plummet all the same.

His warning would allow you, not only to stuff your headphones around your neck, for easier access whenever the noise became too oppressive, but it also allowed you to grab the snacks and food necessary before locking yourself in your room.

Not attributed to any social anxiety, but Haechan's friends had proven to be... difficult to bear in their own ways. There was Chenle, Renjun, and Mark, who held a sort of distinguished naughtiness that you fancied way more than Jeno, Jaemin, Jisung, and Haechan's borderline flirting.

It had proven very difficult not to be included in their antics, especially given the very annoying fact that their energy was so freaking infectious.

As you proceed to turn on the kettle, Haechan speaks up once again. “Since you're already there… a coke, please, Madame.” He knew that you knew that he did not actually want a coke. He just wanted to see you vexed.

“Your legs are in perfect working condition, last I checked," your face remained stoic as you said, “Get your own coke.”

Jaemin immediately cackles to Haechan's right, prompting a light snicker from Chenle and the rest. Haechan sends a worried gaze towards them before bringing his eyes back to yours. Now he's on a mission to piss you off even more.

“C’mon...” he whines in an over indulgent American accent. “Be a doll and hand me a coke-I mean a beer." He stretches his neck from side to side, now deep into his theatrics, "I'm a man-”

The knife clanks on the counter as you scoff, “Since when?" You ask, "And what is with this ‘I'm a man’ stuff?”

Haechan only swats animetedly at the air, “It's cus I'm a man, Jagi. You don't get it cus you're not a ma-”

“Yeah,” you say, turning to prepare your noodles, “I don't wanna know actually.”

There's a sudden influx of celebratory hollering from Jaemin and Jeno, while Renjun and Jisung groan in defeat, signaling the end of their game.

Jaemin turns to you as he says “You seriously don't remember?”

You let the silence speak for you.

“He’s been like this ever since the asexual comment.”

The laughter escapes your throat as you shift your eyes to a now moody and grumbling Haechan. His arms are crossed as he avoids eye contact.

“Seriously?! That's why you've been on such a toxic gym bro kick?”

The flamboyant accent is still present as Haechan says, “Hey man, if you're not gonna get me a coke, just say that, I've got places to be people to see-”

The snort leaves your lips before you can stop it, “You've got a psych textbook to see and you're not even seeing that.”

“Stop with the celibacy jokes before he becomes worse!” begs Renjun.

Your mouth is open in false accusation, with the hints of a smile present, “It's quite literally not my fault Haechan's a virgin.”

“I'm not a virgin!” Haechan whines, letting his previously infuriating accent dissolve into his perfectly infuriating normal voice. “I have sex, all the time, tell her Jaemin. Tell her I have sex.” Your eye shifts easily to Jaemin, who only shakes his head.

“Ah, I told my therapist I'm trying to be more honest in my day to day,"

Now your laughter bubbles up to the ceiling, and you're throwing your head back, eyes shut.

“You all make me wanna kill myself.” Says Haechan, pushing himself up from the couch. The sight of him approaching sobers you ineffably from your laughter. He's not particularly tall, but there's a quality about him that asserts itself as height. A silent substitute.

“I’m being falsely accused of being a virgin, I have to get my own cokes?! What is this life of mine?!" A snicker escaped the confines of your lips as you empty your noodles into your bowl. Your albeit small little laugh was a sound so pretty, Haechan could not help but perk his ears up at the sound.

He inched his way slowly into the kitchen as you took one giant unladylike bite from your noodles. Unbeknownst to you, Haechan shares a glance with Chenle over in the living room. One that prompts Chenle into stabbing Renjun in the ribs with his elbow. They were all watching as you tried to shuffle past Haechan.

Haechan, who wouldn't let you pass until heard him say,

"Not a virgin." The words were veneered in a quiet whisper and in those few seconds, you were convinced the globe had stopped spinning on its imaginary axis. You became hyperaware of yourself, the noodles still very much inside your mouth and the soup dribbling out the corners. You clumsily wipe at your lip as you gaze up at him, smiling away like the Cheshire Cat.

While your heart proceeded its cataclysmic aself destruction, Chenle released the first snort. A snort that prompted an entire wave of laughter from his gaggle of friends. They were all laughing now. Haechan's face melted into a spout of his own laughter until he was doubled over.

"Mm," your nostiled flared , "I'll be in my room," You had disappeared in a hurry, hellbent on returning to your room. Hellbent on calming your runaway heart.

While you were nursing wave after wave of embarrassment, Haechan's eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"Don't even try," Jaemin snickered, noticing that look in Haechan's eye as he stared after you. "She's locked up tighter than a prison. You'll only get your wittle heart broken."

The following Friday had arrived with the small promise that you were to stay in your room for the foreseeable evening. You had chosen to occupy yourself from Haechan's 'get together' by sitting at your desk, like most of your nights: Completely absorbed in perfecting your English Lit notes on Post colonialism.

Your eyes were practically glued on the endless enriching notes written by Achebe, Lamming, and various other authors you revered religiously. Your studying had been going swimmingly until the arrival of a drunk, slightly dazed Haechan, indicated by the heaviness of his bloodshot eyes and the slight sway in his form by the door. Haechan was a very different person when he was drunk. He got sloppy, as if he was at constant war with reality.

You both pause, in a vague liminal space until he breaks the silence with a breathy slight slur, “Well, this isn't the bathroom,”

Your eyes narrow. You can't help but snap in a manner that makes you forget all your civility.

“Evidently,” you say with an unimpressed drawl.

He lived here. He should know where the bathroom is, inebriated or not.

There is a tone in your voice that was specifically crafted to have him cringing away from you, like most men on campus tended to do. You were too much of a straight arrow for them, too narrow-minded with not enough complexities and not enough strings that needed detangling. Most men saw that you could smell the bullshit from a mile away, and you were very much aware of what they referred to you as…

Uptight.

Instead of shrinking away like you initially expected, a small, almost thrilled smile curls at the ends of his purt, heart-shaped lips. He only steps closer into your space.

“No, don't do that,” You're scowling at him but still, the bear refuses to retreat.

Your messy desk where you remain seated in a chair seems to catch his attention until soon, he's leaning back against the desk in front of you.

“Don't you need the bathroom-”

“You don't want me here?” He asked, genuinely confused as if everyone was just dying to be in his presence, “I'm not sure what you're busy with over here, but I could help,” He says, swiping a large hand over at the piles of notes scattered on the desk.

“I shouldn't have to tell you not to invade my personal space, Haechan. If this is some stupid dare-"

“Only strangers can invade each other's space, Jagiya," he whispers, snortingbas if you were the one acting silly here. “We're not strangers. I'm your dumb virgin roomate, right?"

Your eyes widen imperceptibly as you push yourself up from your chair.

“I'm going to fucking kill you when you're sober-”

“I'm not even that drunk.” He deadpans. It's as if this boy is unable to mask whatever emotion that seems to pass through him at that very moment.

“I just wanted to check on you.” He beams as he pushes himself further along your desk.

“Are all these notes yours?” He asks, picking up one of your discarded notes. You strive to grab at the flimsy pieces of notepad paper in his hands, but he swipes it swiftly out of reach every time.

“Haechan, you're messing up my system-”

“You must be really smart,” he whispers, and you immediately chastise yourself for letting his words erupt a sudden electrical storm through your once steady heartbeat. “Your handwriting is so pretty too… woah,” he admires before you see his eyes quickly peek about from the paper, “I really like smart girls,”

You find your voice, hidden somewhere in the depths of being flustered. He interrupts you, all the same, “It's okay to say you're smart… I think that's really, like, hot-”

It's impossible to account for the events that followed in a somewhat episodic format because nothing like it had ever happened to you before.

One moment, Haechan is gazing down at you like he wants to eat you and the next, his hand is wrapped around your throat, pulling you up from your chair until your lips are crashing onto his… You had not perceived just how touched starved you were, until you found your inhibitions melting, and you were kissing him back just as fiercely. He was impatient and sloppy, pushing his tongue in too quickly while his hand marked up every inch of your body. “Pretty,” he mumbled in between wet kisses, “You so pretty… y'just feel so pretty.” Once Haechan's lust was involved, the rest of his brain, it seemed, shut down like the finishing hours of a toy factory. He was switching your positions, pushing you onto the desk as he trailed kisses down your neck.

“Your friends,” you murmured before throwing your head back, offering him better access, “We can't.”

“We can,” he nodded, while pushing himself in between your legs, “We can because I want to,” He punctuated his sentence by thrusting his sweatpants-clad hips right against your core. He seemed to have quickly caught a liking to this form of intimacy because soon, Haechan is breaking apart fromcthe kiss to gaze down at his hips pushing against your core.

His breath is peppered with a soft and dazed, “Woah…”

He nodded very slowly, “I like this very much.” Haechan said with grave finality, which evidently was the calm before the storm. You locked your hand around your mouth as Haechan sank his fingers into the sides of your hips, grinding his bulge against your core like there was nothing else that mattered. He brought your hips to meet each of his stuttering but hard thrusts and your head fell back in the stuttering… constant… impact.

“See?” He says, “See how good it feels?” he mumbles incoherently, now in a violent pursuit of his own orgasm. “F-Fuck,” he whimpered, feeling his cock twitching in his sweats. A feeling that usually let him know the end was near. He quickly clamped his hands on the underside of your ass before lifting you slightly off the desk, just enough to move impossibly closer between your legs.

He hugged you, wanting to feel your soft tits pushing up against him as he was grinding you both to a quick orgasm.

“You're close aren't you?” His voice cracks when he says, “Please be close, because I'm so fucking close-”

But all you're able to do is fight to keep your eyes open as you watch the slightly cracked open door. “H-Haechan-”

“Look at me, Cupcake,” he practically whined before forcefully bringing your eyes back to him with a flick of your chin.

The eye contact sent him down a rampage of lust and his hips stuttered as his mouth hung open,“F-Fuck, just like that- you're so good-” he lifted his baggy shirt, to watch himself thrust one more time before his rhythm crumbled and his hips stuttered as he came in his sweats.

You did not have the energy to tell him you didn't cum, only sprouting a brand new vexation as he swayed his way in search of the bathroom.

That had been your first and last devious encounter, before you avoided him like the plague. It had not taken much, because Haechan was vastly more sensible when he was sober. Emerging from his room like a bear out of his den and rubbing his messy head of black hair as he grumbled, “Did I do something weird last night? Or stupid?” He groans, “I have this feeling that I did something extra stupid and weird last night.” Although your heart plummeted minutely, you saw this as a lifeline and you took it.

“You were drunk, Haechan, so you probably most certainly did.”

You allowed yourself to live in the peace of sober Haechan until things once again only got dangerous on Friday nights, when his enablers would all congregate in the living room, tossing back cans of beer.

Your quick trip to the bathroom had ended with Haechan looming in the doorway, once again. With a near constant pout he exclaimed, “I missed you!”

“You see me everyday,” you grumbled before making your way to the sink to wash your hands. There was a bubbling in your stomach, that you would only dissect later. Whether it was excitement or frustration at seeing him this way.

“Still missed you-”

“I think you missed my body,” you said, before drying your hands, “Not me.”

“Both. I missed both,” he says, before beaming the sunniest, brightest smile you had ever seen on a face. You had to look away as you stepped towards him, for your sanity.

“Please move, Hyuck-”

“I wanna play,” he says, “We had so much fun the last time,”

“You fucking seduced me the last time and I fell for it like an idiot." You sighed deeply, "I studied myself to exhaustion. Im such a fucking idiot.”

He looks deep into your eyes as he very seriously says, “Don't say that-”

“What do you like about me? I mean what could you actually like and appreciate about me-” For all of 5 seconds the boy is trapped in a worrying daze. As the seconds tick on, your blood pressure rises and you're pushing roughly at his chest, which once again proves to be futile. “Fucking move, Haechan. I'm not doing this with you.”

His whines soar higher, “But why?! I didn't even really get to see your boobs, please let me see your boobs?” you stop his hand on its way to cup your breasts in mid air. He slumps

“You make me wanna kill myself.” He grumbles before stomping away to rejoin his friends. As Haechan sat down he breathed out heavily before whining, kicking and punching at the air. His friends, seeing nothing new with his tantrum, did not entertain it as they played their games.

Haechan just couldn't understand. He wanted you and, based on everything that transpired, you wanted him. So why not just let it happen?

You were making things too complicated and complicated is not something he enjoyed very much.

Haechan did not grasp onto much but you make it exceptionally clear that you did not want the interaction to be made public knowledge, and he, surprisingly obeyed your wishes. Your only enemy, it seems, were these hangouts Haechan scheduled with his friends. You liked to avoid unnecessary juvenile squabbling when necessary. You had to study instead, until you built the proper revenue to buy an apartment of your own, free from Haechan's provocation.

But you had fallen asleep.

The dusk bleeding into darkness until you were peeling your face off of your Classical lit textbook and nursing a grumbling stomach...

Your ears perked and your stomach sank as you heard boyish laughter bleed in through the cracks of the doorway. They had already arrived and you had zero rations to combat this venomous hunger.

It was guaranteed to be a short and curt journey past the small apartment living room, into the kitchen. A journey whereby you would pray you evade the group of boys invading your shared living room. Or at least one boy in particular...

Had Haechan been a non factor, your anxieties would have been perfectly nullified, but tin the wake of a troublesome post-study hunger, you had no other choice but to venture out into the living room.

You had hope your trip would be a curt one, entertaining not a single, word, jab, or comment as you were on your way to fly to the kitchen. Your feet stopped you before you could make it. Arrested in stark realisation that there is no noise at all. You round the short corner to find Haechan seated patiently on his couch with his hoodie up, tapping away at a mobile game while humming angelically. You immediately noted that he was sober and that set your mild frustrations at ease.

“Oh, hey,” you murmured, before swaying over to the adjoining Kitchen, separated only by a shallow counter. As you stare down at your yoghurt, you miss the way in which Haechan's face snaps up at tye sound of your voice. His feet fly off the coffee table and he rights himself infinitesimally.

“You guys aren't hanging out today?”

“There's a party somewhere on campus,” he switches his phone off and stuffs it into the pocket of his goodies as he shrugs, “Didn't feel like going.”

You walk back into the living room, and Haechan watches as you nod silently before planting yourself on the couch next to him. He's very perceptive and plants a couch cushion behind your back in the process. You realise then that you much preferred him this way.

“I'm having a hard time guaging the fact that you didn't wanna get drunk,” although a short chuckle escapes your lips, Haechan is not laughing. “I don't always think about getting drunk, you know.” The smile disappears from your face automatically as you bring a spoon of yoghurt to your lips.

“Of course… sorry-”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Haechan watches your tongue lightly poke out and nip at the yoghurt before lazily bringing his eyes back to you. “If anything, I should be sorry.” An immediate wave of discomfort washed over you when the words left his mouth. So he was aware.

“Drunk Haechan sucks,” he says, “You don't have to make excuses for him.” You're caught in a wave of silence, your yoghourt forgotten on your lap. He wants to pull back but he has your attention now and it's fueling him with all the confidence he needs before he's scooting closer on the couch, until your thigh is directly against his.

“Earlier in the week you asked me what I like about you-”

“Haechan, you don't have to-”

The discomfort bled into embarrassment now and you fought to get up but he placed his hand on yours.

“I don't remember what I said,'' his lips pout lightly as his eyebrows furrow, “I don't know if I said anything at all. I just… want you to know that I wasn't quiet because nothing came to mind. I was speechless because it was like trying to list the stars. Tiring and fucking endless.” He breathed out, before looking away abashedly, “You're a good cook,” he says, “you always make us something to eat for Friday nights. You're so driven, in a way that is equal parts obsessive but also really fucking hot.” Your mouth parts slightly and Haechan's eyes once again lazily drops down to watch them. His voice is airy and loght as he says, “Fuck, and you're so pretty and smart.” He's speaking purely from a place of lust and admiration, which only has you melting further. You much preferred this Haechan.

“You make me feel safe because I know you always have the answers…” You let his words hang stagnant in the air for a while, letting yourself marinate in the pleasure of it, while his own thumb rubs circles around the back of your hand.

“I mean…” The Insecurities were steadily sinking in because by the laws of campus culture, you both were not supposed to be together. Your names were met with different responses and different emotions attached to them. You'd hate his popularity to diminish because of you. Instead of spewing out these words, you only whispered, “Are you sure? I mean, think of what people-”

In a series of swift movements, Haechan's hand cradling your own had gripped down tighter before dragging your hand until it was flush against his bulge. He releases a heavy breath as his eyes fall momentarily shut. Gritting his teeth together as he throws his head back in momentary euphoria as if he had been waiting to do this.

He brushes your hand up and down as he says, “Don't you dare ask me if I'm sure.” He says, unable to stop himself rutting against your hand. A wave of confidence soon falls until you're taking control and crawling your hand up to the waistband of his sweats. He whines in anticipation as you stuff your hand inside until you are cupping his underwear-clad bulge in your open palm. Haechan's eyes are heavy when he swings his head lazily to you, watching you watch his hips lift to graze himself against your hand.

“I need you,” he whispers, before raising a hand, immediately cupping your breasts, “I need you so fucking bad.” He can feel the presume wet the tight constraints of his boxers and he locks his jaw tighter. “I wanna fuck you, Cupcake,” your stomach warms at the reiterating of the nickname he had given you when he was drunk and equally ravenous, “Please let me,” He juts his hips up with every whine that escapes his throat, “Please-”

“I need you too-” before the words even leave your mouth he's lunging at you in a wild kiss. “Fuck, your lips are so soft,” he mumbles before forcing his his thumb into your mouth and watching with heavy eyelids as he lowers you onto the couch. Your jaw goes limp as Haechan, seemingly entranced with swiping his thumb along your wet tongue.

“So warm,” he murmurs as he hovers above you. Haechan lowers himself between your open legs, “Your mouth I'd so fucking pretty, so fucking warm-”

He sounded exactly like he sounded when he was drunk. Sloppy, incoherent and not making much sense. But you could not discount the pool of wetness that glistened your underwear as Haechan continued to play with your tongue.

“Fuck-” He whispers, watching the saliva coat his finger as he unconsciously thrusts his bulge once again into your core. He seems too realise that he hadn't, in fact, pulled his cock out and he curses lightly before hurriedly moving to do just that.

“Your boobs-” He whispers as he pulls his aching cock out, “Please let me see-”

Before the words even leave his mouth you're pulling your shorts and top off swiftly. Haechan immediately doubles over, thrusting into the air once before he's fisting the base of his cock, as if he was on the cusp of cumming.

“F-Fuck, I think I need to fuck you now-” He said, already sinking deep into you. Your moans fight valiantly to drown out his perpetual whines before he buries his face in between your neck and shoulders. He's breathing heavily as he begins to fuck steadily up into you, releasing little melodic ‘hah, hah, hah's as he peels back to look down at you with heavy pussy-drunk eyes.

“Fuck it feels so good, Haechan,” he thrusts harder at that before lowering his lips to your nipple and sucking without ever breaking eye contact. The stimulation from your nipple and the head of his cock bumping into your cervix has your mind spinning with euphoria. You haven't even cum yet but this feels like you're trapped in that same state of pleasure.

“Fuck, baby you're so tight around my cock,’ his breath blows down against your wet nipple and you buck your hips up to meet his thrusts. “If you carry on like this you're gonna make me spill inside you,” you throw your head back, mouth parting even wider as a chorus of moans leave your throat after his sentence.

“F-Fuck you want that? You want me to cum inside you?”

You cannot speak, completely fargone at this point but your cunt still clenching around him is all the answer he needs before he's ramming into you with urgency. “Fuck, you,make me feel so good Cupcake-” He's once again pressing his fingers into your mouth, as of needing to feel the warm wetness just to get off.

He's looking down at you as of you hung the moon, “F-Fuck I'm cumming-” He fights to keep his eyes open and watch you whine around his fingers as your own orgasm crashes in violent succession. You're both fighting to press your hips together, he's fighting to stay inside as an endless string of cum flights to push him out. You're both breathing heavily, both staring into each other's eyes as Haechan pulls his middle and index finger out of your mouth. You're absolutely speechless as he cleans his fingers with his own mouth, all without breaking eye contact.

“I… can't believe I came like that-” You say, eyes caught in a daze.

“Shit- I was supposed to rub your clit, wasn't I?” He's already slipping out of you and craning open your legs.

“N-No, Haechan I came, I promise I came. Fuck-” He's rubbing small circles against your puffy clit, using his cum as lube. “You have no idea how badly I needed you cumminh around my cock like that,” he says before spraying a gentle kiss against your knee. He's playing with your cunt, not to bring you to orgasm, you realise, but unconsciously. “We're boyfriend and girlfriend now, right?”

You snicker lightly before nodding with finality. Thus, as the beginning of a new but interesting dynamic, in which you drove Haechan to study more while he, in the same breath, got you to open up more. He dropped your inhibitions and coaxed you out of your comfort zone…

#nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct dream x female reader #nct dream x black reader #nct dream x you #haechan smut #haechan x reader #haechan #haechan fanfic #haechan imagines #lee haechan fanfic #lee haechan smut

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citrustan · 1 year ago

Text

for what it's worth [2/4] (jjk)

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff (this comes in a bit later), light smut, college student!reader x crush!jungkook

summary: you make an awful revelation about your crush of two years.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: kinda angsty because yaknow unrequited love and stuff like whew i could never

note: im SORRY it took me a year to release this :(

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Every millisecond of the drive back to campus was torturous. At times, you felt like your throat was closing up. You had to sit on your hand to stop it from cracking a window open.

You think you might’ve experienced your first ever anxiety attack.

All Jungkook’s genuine attempts at holding a conversation with you were shot down mercilessly.

It was almost as if all the admiration you had for him turned into pure hatred for a moment.

Terrified that you would break down in front of the man whom you supposedly creep out, you kept your mouth shut the entire time.

You’re thankful for the timing of the universe. Had you proceeded to confess your feelings to him, you’d have humiliated yourself to death. You’d have had to dig yourself a hole and bury your head in it for a really long time. Or hibernate in the blast chiller like a stupid little snail.

Even if you had a minuscule percentage of a chance with Jungkook, Jia has destroyed it all by telling him about ‘your’ crush.

Although he didn’t seem to have recognised you as the ‘creep’, you can’t help but wonder. What if he knew about you? Maybe he didn’t recognise you without makeup? Maybe he panicked when he realised it was you.

What do you know about Jia really?

After unsuccessfully starting a conversation with you, Jungkook was staring a hole into his phone. He knows he has made you uncomfortable. But, which part of whatever he said did the trick?

He panicked. Jungkook wasn’t supposed to tell you (or anyone) about him and Jia, as per Jia’s desperate request. While he respected it, he wondered why. On pushing her for a legitimate answer, she finally told him about the ‘creep with a schoolgirl crush’ and how she was friends with said ‘creep’ and didn’t want to be in her bad books.

Albeit strange, Jungkook assumed it was dangerous for Jia to be publicly known as his girlfriend. He thought that maybe it’d have put a target on her back.

He didn’t mean to blurt it all out in front of you. It was like his mouth had a mind of its own. He couldn’t stop himself from spilling the beans. And then he made it worse by indirectly calling you a creep. He did take it back, but it must’ve been uncomfortable for you regardless.

And maybe that’s why you won’t respond to his attempts to chat.

He really didn’t want to burden you but he has to let you know--- “You know, it’s a relief to finally tell someone about Jia.”

“Hm?” You abruptly turned your head sideways to face him.

“Jia. It feels good to be able to talk to someone about the girl I’m dating. We never really planned on telling anyone actually.”

‘Yeah, while you’re at that, stick a knife in my chest, why don’t you?’

“I bet it does.” You exhale with a forced smile.

Jungkook turns his body towards you, “_____.” He called out. You instinctively make eye contact with him. “Would it be too much to ask if we could keep this a secret from Jia?”

Before you could process exactly what he asked of you, you involuntarily held your breath at the thought of sharing a secret with him. Just the two of you.

And Jia.

You frown.

The thought of Jia breaks you out of your reverie. You have got to pull yourself together.

Perhaps Jungkook wasn’t too far off with the ‘creep’ thing.

“Whatever you want.” You immediately look away. Honestly, he probably could’ve gotten you to agree to shave your head if he wanted to.

“Really? It isn’t…?” Jungkook trailed off. “It’s okay. It’ll be as if we never met.” You assure him.

Just how far is your stupid university? It feels like forever since you got into the car with him.

“Except we have met before.” He interjects. You don’t know if he’s referring to your very first meeting at the party or the other times you’ve ‘met’ in the classes you share. Either way, Jia knows about it all.

“We sure have. But she doesn’t have to know that. If that’s what you want.” You add, “I don’t want to cause any problems for you. Just tell me what to do and I won’t question it.” With that you aim your eyes straight ahead, focusing them on the back of the passenger seat.

So much for staying grounded. You have GOT to chill. You’re worried you’ll blow your cover.

Jungkook unexpectedly laughs, “Okay. I don’t want to complicate it too much.”

“Jia doesn’t want people to know about us. And I don’t want to lose her trust. So… maybe---”

Your mouth automatically forms a pout. You really don’t want to witness his devotion to her.

“You know what, I’ll handle it. I’ll talk to her and admit I slipped up...” Jungkook waits for your reaction, but you give him nothing.

Now, you begin to feel badly about the way you’ve been acting towards him. He has done nothing to deserve your hot and cold attitude.

Jungkook has been kind to you. He complimented you, confided in you, gave you his jacket, and offered you a ride. The least you can do is not make stuff so difficult for him.

You remind yourself that your issue is with Jia and not Jungkook.

“If you’re that worried, we don’t have to mention this to her.” You meekly add.

“I was thinking maybe I should just tell her. Wouldn’t that be easier for you too?” Hah! You’d think.

You’re about to counter when the driver interrupts, “Non-faculty vehicles aren’t allowed to go any further than this. Is it okay if I dop you kids off here?”

Neither of you had noticed that you’d reached a few minutes ago. Your driver was kind enough to allow you to resolve your dilemma.

Your dorm was a ten-minute walk from the gate. “This is good.” You kindly smile at him.

The driver eyes you from the rear-view mirror, “This is none of my business but from experience, I can tell you that nothing good ever comes out of secrets and lies. No matter how big or small, shit gets messy.”

You and Jungkook share a look and thank your driver.

“I’ll tell her tomorrow.” He nods once, mostly to himself.

The two of you exit the vehicle together.

Something still bothered you. You swore you had a really great time with Jungkook at the freshmen mixer where you were first introduced to each other. Does he not remember you from then at all?

It’d be embarrassing if he didn’t.

What kills you the most is how you stupidly built your crush up in your head. It was just supposed to be just a fun thing for yourself, but honestly, you’re having trouble standing right now.

“Can I walk you to your room?” Jungkook interrupts your chain of thoughts.

Originally, you planned to run away from him as soon as you reached campus, but curiosity pushes your nervousness away. So, you agree to walk with him.

The first few minutes of your walk are spent in silence. It wasn’t pleasant, it was forced and awkward. Even small talk couldn’t have helped it.

Most of your life was planned. You liked having control over the situations you put yourself in. You like knowing what was going to happen the next day. You liked to organise everything. This tension and feelings of uncertainty threw you way off.

You could not bear not knowing. Still, you manage to keep your cool and fake nonchalance. This is only as big as you make it out to be.

At least now you know you wouldn’t need to buy an extra juice box tomorrow.

You made sure to reassure Jungkook that he wouldn’t get into trouble and that he wouldn’t have to worry about you talking to people about it. But, you could feel the discomfort he basically emitted from his speech to his body language.

Unconvinced that he heard you out, you tell him again. “Just so you know, you don’t have to butter me up or anything. If Jia doesn’t want your news out, so be it. I won’t tell a soul.” Because, that’d be super embarrassing for me as well. But you left that out.

Jungkook visible relaxed, with slouched shoulders and an exhale of relief, he turns to you. “Oh, thank goodness. I was hoping to keep this between us. I know it’s a pussy move, I just don’t want-“

“I already told you, it’s OK.” You abruptly cut him off, impatient because you couldn’t hear him get started on liking and respecting Jia, and disappointing Jia, and protecting Jia, or whatever was going on with the pair.

You were a little hurt when he reacted the way he did. Somewhere, you wanted him to admit he was walking you home because he cared about you or found you inciting enough to spend time with.

Why would he care? You’re actually nobody to him. You’re Jia’s _____.

(And he’s Jia’s Jungkook lol)

You continue, “I genuinely do not care.” A lie.

Jungkook stares at you with big stupid eyes. You almost feel bad for him. You know you’re confusing the fuck out of him with your hot and cold behaviour.

“You know what? I forgot I had to see the course counsellor. That’s like, in the other direction.”

Your sad excuse for an escape was welcomed by Jungkook.

“Oh! My dorm’s the opposite to that… building.” He wanted to get away from you just as much as you him. Well, that doesn’t hurt at all.

:D :D :D

I mean, you were doing the same thing to him but your reason was totally different. So, that doesn’t count.

The two of you stopped in the middle of the cold path. “So, okay.” He started, “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah! See you!” You faked enthusiasm.

After a two second lag, you both awkwardly shuffle around each other.

“Bye!” You abruptly brisk walk in the direction of your dormitory, the very direction you weren’t supposed to be heading to.

Jungkook stands dumbfounded with his hand midway in the air. In fact, he had no clue you were trying to avoid him. He really meant that his dorm was opposite to the counsellor’s office.

Still, he doesn’t think too much of it.

Jungkook checks his phone to see a few text messages from his girlfriend, asking him about his plans for the week.

He promptly cleared his evenings for Jia and continued walking away from the spot you both stood at.

Later that night, while he FaceTimed her, he kept going back to the moment you greeted him. For some reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about you; as one would after such an awkward interaction.

Jungkook sneakily prods. “Babe, that friend you keep talking about?”

Unsuspectingly, Jia instantly says your name. “_____?”

“Hm…” He affirms.

After a few seconds of silence from Jungkook’s side, Jia irritably bit her inner cheek.

“What about _____?” She pushes.

“Oh, sorry- lost connection. I was saying I met her today.”

“What do you mean? What for?” Jia’s brain starts creating all the scenarios she was afraid would take place.

“We were stranded at the bus stand so we hitched a cab ride together...” Jungkook trails off as if he’s in deep thought.

“Did she do anything to make you uncomfortable?” She asks, worried.

“No, it wasn’t like that. I offered. I think I might’ve made her uncomfortable.”

Now, Jia was impatient, “Can you tell me what happened exactly? What did she say to you?”

Now, Jungkook was a little taken aback.

“Babe. You know I really like you, right?” Jungkook begins.

Jia pouts, “Where is this going?”

“Just…” Jungkook opened his mouth, deliberately delaying the conversation.

“Kook… something happened?” Jia involuntarily rubs up and down her arms.

He blurts, “I may or may not have told her about us. BUT, but-” – “YOU WHAT?”

Jungkook looks at his screen with wide eyes, “But I only let it slip because I thought you told her. She even said she didn’t care enough to tell anyone.”

“Oh? She said that?” Jia’s brows furrowed, both in concern and anger. Jungkook reads her expression and sighs. “She didn’t say it like that.” He repeats.

“No wonder she hasn’t responded to my texts yet. She’s supposed to fucking proofread my assignment for tomorrow. I’m so screwed.” Jia exasperates. Jungkook tilts his head. Has he really messed up? “I’m sorry, baby. Is it so bad I told her? What’s wrong with her knowing?”

Jia shook her head.

“Jungkook, GOD I wish you were with me. I’m so tense I think I need to be fucked so I can forget this ever happened.”

Jungkook smirked, “Well… I don’t have to be physically present with you to make you lose your mind.”

Jia’s mouth drops open a little. She thinks she might just start drooling at the sound of his voice.

“Now where is that Bluetooth controlled-” – “It’s already on me.” She blurts, knowing exactly what he’s about to do to her.

“Oh? Wow, my girl is so naughty. Is this what you wanted from me tonight?”

And, then you were long forgotten.

Well, until later that same night.

Before dozing off, he spent the remaining of his day replaying what had happened. He thought about the way your mood dropped after getting into the taxi and the way your eyes wandered everywhere but to him. He doesn’t know if you realised it, but you muttered a lot of words under your breath. Some of them being loud enough for him to hear.

Jungkook’s thoughts were zeroed in on you.

His mind went in and out of so many black holes, that he even thought of the possibility of you being what Jia tried to shield their relationship from. Even though they were all afterthoughts, one thing was for sure. You had caught his attention.

#fic: for what it's worth #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook au #jeon jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook fic

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