#i dont know what im doing wrong or if im doing something wrong and if not how i could handle this better bc this is clearly not the way
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"Real Man"
Older Au Chapter 3.
THIS IS A MATURE STORY. IT HAS SOME SEXUAL SENCES, IF YOU DONT LIKE DON'T READ. Ok yall ik i said i was gonna post this last night but i hated it so i rewrote it! if it sucks don't say anything pls. sorry if it's repetitive, lmk whose team ur on!!! And what you want to happen next. comments, reblogs, likes and kind asks are always appreciated. If this one random anon keeps sending theses crazy things, i'll have to remove anon asks, which I dont want to do. I love my anons, so pls be nice. Send in asks, I miss yall, I've been sooooo busy with school lately and I havent had time to get on here. THIS IS MY 1ST TIME WRITNG ANYTHING LIKE THIS SO LMK HOW IT ISSSSS
WHY AM I GETTING THE FEWLINF EVERYONE HATES THIS??? IM ABT TO DELEYEB TS NGL 😭
Six months had passed since that night—the night you let Slade’s words sink into your skin like venom and made the choice that changed everything. For better and worse.
You hadn't accepted his offer easily. Not after what happened with Two-Face. That betrayal still sat in your chest like a dull ache, a constant reminder of how easily people could take what they wanted and leave you with nothing. You had sworn not to trust so easily again, not to let yourself fall into another cycle of being used and discarded. So when Slade made his offer, you hesitated.
"You're smarter than this," you had told yourself that night. "You know what happens when you trust the wrong person. You know what men like him want."
And yet, here you were. Living in his world.
Not as a prisoner, not as a puppet, but as something more. The lines were blurred, shifting with every glance, every order he gave that you didn’t question, every moment that stretched too long in the dim glow of your shared space. Because that’s what it was now, shared.
The apartment Slade had set up was far from a safe house. It was huge and spacious, Slade wasn't a cheap man. It felt lived in. Your things mingled with his, your scent lingering in the air. You bought vases and filled them with flowers, you organized the kitchen and bought him real groceries, not just canned food. You hung pictures you developed of you and him. Ones he didn't know you took. You roped him into painting your room a baby blue, a color he swore he hated, yet he still slept in your room every night. It was comical to see such a large man laying in a pastel colored room on your floral bedsheets, the last man you let into your bed was equally large. But we don't talk about him.
Slade cared for you deeply, or at least tolerated you. At first you were always at each others throats, each person throwing a more cutting remark than the other. When your arguements got so bad that you began to ignore him, he brought home women, made sure he heard them moaning through the walls till you snapped and began screaming.
You hated Slade Wilson
But after the first month things began to change, Slade never said anything about it, but you caught the way his eyes would darken when he returned from a mission, his gaze sweeping over you like he needed to confirm you were still here. Like he expected you to disappear.
You leaned against the counter, watching him from the corner of your eye as he cleaned his weapons. The rhythmic motion of his hands, the way he handled each blade with the kind of care most reserved for something fragile, it was almost mesmerizing. Everything he does is.
“You’re staring,” he said, not looking up. God, he's so smug.
You scoffed. "No, you are. I don't stare at creepy old men. In fact, it's usually the opposite."
His lips curled into that knowing smirk, the one that made something tighten in your chest. “If you say so, sweetheart.”
The nickname used to irritate you. Now, you weren’t sure what it did. All you knew was that it made your heart race the way only one person had before. He used to call you sweetheart too.
Slade’s presence in your life was suffocating, an unshakable force that wrapped itself around you, squeezing tighter with every passing day. He was cruel in the way he trained you, brutal in his expectations. If you failed, he had no patience for it. Slade trained you for greatness and he wouldn't tolerate anything less.
“You call that a punch?” he sneered one evening in your early days of training, after you had barely managed to land a hit on him. “Pathetic. I’ve seen senior citizens put up more of a fight,"
Gritting your teeth, you launched at him again, only for him to sidestep effortlessly. A sharp pain bloomed across your ribs as he shoved you down, hard. The thing that you loved and hated most about Slade was that he treated you like an equal. He didn't see you as his younger, fragile, kind-of girlfriend; he saw you as an equal opponent.
“You hesitated,” he said, standing over you. “That hesitation will get you killed.”
You spat blood onto the mat and glared up at him. “Or maybe I just don’t care if I live or die. Nothing is ever really this serious.”
Something flickered in his eye, dark and unreadable, before he crouched beside you. His fingers dug into your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. He didn't understand your humor sometimes, considering he's old enough to be your father.
“Oh, but you do, you want to survive. To be great, ” he murmured, voice dangerously soft. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”
He let go of you with a sharp shove and stood. “Get up. We’re not done.”
The tension between you both had only grown over the months. Slade had a way of pressing in, invading your space without ever needing to touch you. Sure you guys fucked almost twice, sometimes three times a week, but there was that small sliver of confusion and hesitation.
Sure, he slept in your bed ever night now, called it "our room," and sure you stayed up waiting when his missions would take too long. Yeah, you would run and jump into his open arms, feeling nothing but content as he kissed your forehead and took you to the bed, it's normal that ya'll didn't even have sex some nights, that you just cuddled.
Sometimes, you swore he was waiting, waiting for you to be the one to close that final inch between you. But you never did. You couldn't bring yourself to do it.
Instead, you fell into a rhythm. Training. Fighting. Learning with him and laughing with him. He pushed you harder than anyone ever had, demanding perfection, never letting you slip back into old habits. He didn’t coddle you like they did. He didn’t pretend you were something delicate. He made you strong.
Most nights, after an exhausting day of training, you would sit on the brown leather couch cuddled up to him with your head on his chest and his arms around you, the dim glow of the television flickering between you. Slade wasn’t much for small talk, you talked enough for the both of you, but the silence between you felt... comfortable, almost warm
“Why did you take me in?” you had asked once, voice barely above a whisper.
He had taken a slow sip of his whiskey, eyes never leaving yours. “Because I saw something in you,” he finally answered. “Potential. Something you’re too afraid to admit to yourself.”
You wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but deep down, you wondered if there was truth in his words. You liked that he believed in you, no one had done that before.
Then there were the other moments. The ones that made your chest tighten in ways you didn’t want to acknowledge. The way he stood too close when showing you how to hold a blade properly, his breath warm against your skin. The way his hands lingered too long when correcting your stance. The way his gaze dropped to your lips before he forced himself to look away.
Neither of you ever acknowledged it. You weren’t sure if you wanted to. It's completely normal for your teacher/mentor/enemy to sleep in the same bed as you every night. It'd be weird if you didn't make breakfast and dinner for the two of you. It'd be weird if you didn't know his favorite foods and if he didn't know how to braid your hair. It'd be even weirder if he didn't make you coffee exactly how you like it and help you put away the dishes.
Slade had become an inescapable presence, his control over you extending far beyond training. He knew where you were at all times, had a way of appearing when you least expected it, his eyes always sharp, always knowing. Some nights, when you tried to slip out for air, you’d find him already outside, leaning against a wall as if he’d been waiting for you. He let you do what you wanted, think you were free, but he was always watching you.
If you were singing at a bar, you could count on him to be in the crowd. If you met with Selina at a restaurant you could count on him to drive you home. Slade was always there. Selina thought it was strange, you took comfort in it.
“You really think you can go anywhere without me knowing?” he had mused once, a shadow of amusement in his voice.
It should have bothered you. Maybe it did. But part of you had started to crave it, the way he made you feel like you belonged to him, even if neither of you would ever admit it.
Slade had been… watchful lately. More than usual. He came back late from missions, missions he didn't let you come to, sometimes with a tension in his jaw that hadn’t been there before. He was hesitant to let you go and preform at bars, sometimes convincing you to just play the songs on your guitar in the living room and run your fingers through his hair as you both laid on the couch.
There were the calls—brief, coded. You were offended, Slade told you almost everything these days but somehow no amount of sweet talk and bedroom eyes could get him to budge this time. And then there were the other things. The subtle shifts in the city’s underworld. More movement in Gotham than usual. The quiet whispers of old ghosts stirring, names you hadn’t spoken in almost a year.
Dick. Jason. Tim. Damian. Bruce.
You saw it in the way certain streets had too many eyes. As if waiting. As if listening.
And then there was the whisper of something else. Something darker, something clawing at the edge of your awareness. A name that had once sent a thrill through you, now only bringing unease and resentment.
Harvey Dent.
A name you hadn’t spoken in months, yet it clung to you like a shadow you couldn’t shake. A man you couldn't bare to even think of. A drink left for you at a bar you hadn't performed at in weeks, a coat draped over the back of a chair that looked too familiar.
Slade noticed before you did. “You’ve got a ghost,” he murmured one evening, the flicker of a knife between his fingers. “One that doesn’t know how to stay buried.”
You didn’t ask him what he meant. You didn’t have to. You already knew. You just didn't know why. Had he finally seen through Tiffany, now that it was too late?
At first, you didn’t question it. Slade had always been territorial—watchful, overbearing when he wanted to be. He had a way of controlling things without seeming like he was. That was how he worked.
So when you first noticed the shifts, you didn’t react. Your schedule changed, but not because you changed it.
You used to go out when you wanted. Walk the streets when they were quiet, feel the Gotham night press against your skin, the air cold and sharp. Not anymore.
Things began to change this week. Now, every time you thought about leaving, something stopped you.
The fridge was always stocked, eliminating any reason to step outside. Your favorite food. Your favorite drinks. Little things appeared when you needed them; new clothes, supplies, anything that might have made you leave for even a moment. Things you mentioned only in passing, like the new lipstick you wanted or a pair of vintage heels or a new bag.
If you reached for your coat, Slade would speak before you even touched the door. Asking where you were going, trying to be casual.
It was never a command. Never outright control. But the implication was there. And every time you hesitated, he won. If you needed to leave or just wanted to go out, he would come with; a silent yet protective figure always in the shadows.
The night was quiet, the kind of stillness that should have been peaceful but wasn’t. The apartment smelled like old wood and gun oil, the faintest trace of smoke lingering from Slade’s cigar earlier. You had just stepped out of the shower, skin still warm from the heat, hair damp as you walked barefoot across the floor in your towel.
Your hand brushed against the pretty golden door knob absentmindedly.
And then you froze. Something was different.
Your fingers curled around the lock, tracing over the new ridges, the reinforced structure. The weight of it felt wrong.
It wasn’t your lock. Not the cute one you insisted on buying at the antique shop that Slade hated. It didn't match the walls.
Your stomach twisted. You turned slowly, your damp hair clinging to your skin as your mind raced. This wasn’t an accident. You hadn’t imagined it. Slade had changed the locks. The thought sent something icy down your spine. Alarm bells blared in your mind.
You tried to shake it off, tried to tell yourself it was nothing. Maybe it was security. Maybe he just wanted better protection.
But deep down, you knew that wasn’t it. Because he didn’t tell you. Because Slade never did anything without a purpose. Because Slade Wilson didn't need a lock to keep people out. And because you hadn’t noticed until now. You took a slow, steady breath and turned toward the living room.
Slade was there, like always, seated in his usual chair by the window, sharpening a knife. The sound of steel against whetstone was rhythmic, deliberate. His posture was relaxed, but you weren’t fooled. His fingers were too steady, his shoulders just a little too still.
He was waiting. Watching. Like he had already predicted this moment, like he was ready for an argeument. You leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, heart pounding too fast, not caring if you were in a towel.
"Planning on keeping me in a cage?" you muttered.
Slade didn’t pause. Didn’t even look up. “Planning on keeping you alive.” The words were so smooth, so easy, that your stomach turned.
Your breath caught. Because he wasn’t hiding it. He wasn't denying it. Not anymore. This wasn’t a mistake. This was intentional.
You forced a laugh, though it felt hollow in your throat. “Right. Because I’m just so incapable of keeping myself safe. Even after all the training we've done. Even with my literal super-human abilities.”
Slade finally looked up. His eye locked onto yours.
There was no humor in his gaze. No smirk, like he usually had on while teasing. Just that slow, assessing stare that made your pulse stutter.
"If I thought you were capable of that," he murmured, voice quiet, too quiet, "we wouldn’t be having this conversation."
Your chest tightened. Because the way he said it sent something sinking into the pit of your stomach. This wasn’t just about protecting you. This was about making sure you never left.
Two days later, you decided to test it. Just to see what would happen. Slade had stepped out—or so he wanted you to believe. The moment you heard the door shut behind him, you moved.
Your fingers curled around the knob.
Turned it— but a large, scared hand beat you two it
"Going somewhere?"
Your entire body locked up. You gulped and licked your suddenly dry lips, he had you cornered with one hand on the knob and the other caging you in as he towered over you. His voice was smooth, calm—too calm. You turned slowly, pulse thrumming in your throat. Slade stood right behind you.
The door was still closed.
Your heart stuttered. You hadn’t heard him come back. Hadn’t even realized he was there. So much for super hearing. Nothing worked on Slade Wilson. You kept your expression neutral. Didn’t let him see the panic creeping up your throat.
"Didn’t realize I had a curfew," you muttered with an uneasy grin, trying to start your usual banter. Slade didn’t smile. Didn’t smirk. Just watched you.
“You don’t.” He leaned against the wall, arms crossed. But he didn’t move. Didn’t step aside. Didn’t let you leave. The silence stretched too long.
Finally, you forced a smile, tilting your head. “Then I’ll be back in an hour.” Nothing changed in his expression. But you could feel the weight of his stare. Then he tilted his head, eye dark and calculating.
“It's not safe out there anymore. Not for you.”
You blinked. Something in his tone shifted.Not amusement. Not control. Something else. Something darker. Like he was waiting for you to figure it out.
Your stomach twisted. “What are you talking about?” He didn’t answer. Didn’t even move.
Just let the question hang in the air, stretching the silence tight between you. And that’s when it hit you.
He wasn’t stopping you because he was afraid you’d leave.
He was stopping you because something else was waiting outside.
Something he wasn’t telling you about.
Your mouth went dry. Slade finally let out a slow, amused breath, pushing off the wall.
And then—
He stepped aside. A challenge. Daring you to open the door. You hesitated. And that was all it took.
The moment you hesitated, you lost. Slade smirked, shaking his head like he had already predicted every move you would make. "Let's get to bed." He rasped out, looking at you with dark, seductive eyes.
And then he turned, walking past you like the conversation was over. Because it was. Because he knew you wouldn’t leave now.
The next morning, the locks changed again. The windows were reinforced. Your pretty pink curtains replaced with black shutters. Your phone stopped working. You couldn't call Selina. Every excuse to leave was removed before you could even think about it. You tried not to panic. Tried not to question it.
But Slade was closing the walls in. And you weren’t sure if it was to keep someone out—
Or to keep you in.
The first time, you thought it was a coincidence.
You had slipped into a bar down the street, needing to breathe, needing something normal.
The moment you stepped in, your stomach turned. Something familiar. Cologne. Not just any cologne. Expensive. Sharply tailored. The scent of whiskey and authority.
You froze.
Your mind screamed at you. It’s just someone else wearing it. It’s just your imagination. And then you saw it. A glass at the bar. Untouched. Neat. No ice. A double pour. your breath hitched.
Harvey’s drink.
It wasn’t until you came home that you truly realized. Because that’s when you saw the rose.
A single red rose on the kitchen counter.
Waiting for you. Your entire body went cold. It wasn’t from Slade. It couldn’t be from Slade. Slade would never bring you roses, he wasn't a gentleman. And he knew you liked hydrangeas and peonies now.
You turned slowly and nearly threw up.
Slade was already standing there. Watching. Waiting. His jaw was tight. His fingers twitched at his side. He didn’t say anything. And that’s when you knew,
He had seen this coming.
“Where did that come from?” you asked, voice thin. Why was he doing this? Was shattering your heart not enough? Did he want to ruin things with you and Slade?
Slade didn’t answer. Instead, he walked forward, plucked the rose from the counter, and rolled it between his fingers. Slowly. Deliberately. Then, he crushed it.
Your stomach dropped. The petals crumbled to the floor. His voice was dangerously calm. "You tell me, sweetheart."
For the rest of the night, he didn’t let you out of his sight. Not directly holding you hostage, but you felt it. The way he lingered in doorways. The way his hand ghosted too close when you passed him.
Like he was waiting. Waiting for you to ask. Waiting for you to figure it out. Waiting for Harvey to stop playing games and make a real move.
You weren’t sure when it had happened; when you had stopped keeping track of time, stopped caring about the difference between one night and the next. Slade made sure you had no reason to count the days. He made sure you had no reason to want anything. You woke up every morning in his arms and went to bed satisfied and well loved. It wasn’t a prison but it wasn’t freedom either. It was something in between. A limbo of his design. A small slice of heaven in hell.
You were happy. But something was off, Slade was being more paranoid and he got less subtle about it each day.
You weren’t trapped, not physically. Slade let you leave the apartment. You weren’t chained to the walls, weren’t locked in a room. He took you out on missions, let you get your hands dirty alongside him, let you breathe in the crisp Gotham air under the cover of night. In some ways, those nights were the only times you felt alive, other than when you were with Slade. The weight of a blade in your hand, the burn in your muscles from the chase, the sharp adrenaline rush of the fight, of using your powers on someone they affected; it reminded you that you still existed outside of this quiet game he played with you. Because that’s what it was. A game.
Slade never said it outright, never told you he was keeping you on a leash, but you could feel it tightening with every passing week. At first, it was small things. The way he subtly redirected missions away from Gotham’s city center, keeping you to the outskirts, where the shadows were deeper and the chances of running into familiar faces were slimmer. The way he always made sure you stayed close during a job, always just within arm’s reach. It wasn’t just protection. You knew better than that. It was control. He was testing you, waiting to see if you would try to slip away, if you would give him a reason to remind you just how easily he could pull you back.
You weren’t stupid. You knew the real test wasn’t in the field. It was what happened after.
After the job was done, after the adrenaline had settled into exhaustion, after the long, banter filled walk back to wherever Slade had decided to keep you that night. It was in the way he never let you wander too far. The way his hand would hover at the small of your back without quite touching, guiding you down the streets like he was the one who decided where you went. It was in the way he never left you alone for too long.
At first, you told yourself it was coincidence. Slade was always working, always had something that needed his attention. But then you started to notice the patterns. You ate together, you slept together, trained together, hell; you even showered together. You were never alone for more than a few hours. If he had business elsewhere, you were given something to occupy your time—training, surveillance, a task that kept you exactly where he wanted you.
You tested it once again, just to see what would happen. After he had left for what you thought was a routine meeting, you had grabbed your coat and made your way to the door. You weren’t even thinking about leaving him, not really. You just wanted to see if you could. If there was still a part of you that could step outside without feeling the weight of his presence pressing against you.
Your fingers had just curled around the doorknob when you heard his voice. Low. Even. Inevitable.
“Going somewhere?”
You were getting de ja vu. This happened last time too. You had swallowed hard, pulse spiking in your throat as you turned. He was standing right behind you.
You hadn’t heard the door open. Hadn’t heard his footsteps. He was just there, watching, waiting. The worst part was that he wasn’t even angry. He wasn’t trying to intimidate you, wasn’t raising his voice or blocking your way. He didn’t have to.
Slade had simply leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, eye scanning you with that sharp, unreadable expression that made your stomach twist. “Didn’t realize I needed permission,” you had said, forcing your voice to stay steady. You wouldn't let him control everything, not another man would be in charge of your life.
“You don’t.” He tilted his head slightly, studying you like you were a puzzle he had already solved. “Just wondering if you really think it’s safe out there.”
Not this odd shit again.
That made you pause. The way he said it. Not like a threat. Not like he was trying to scare you into staying. He said it the same way as last time. Like he already knew something you didn’t.
Your grip on the doorknob tightened. “What are you talking about? You said this last time.”
Slade didn’t answer right away. He just let the silence stretch, let you feel the weight of your own hesitation. Then, slowly, he took a step back. Another challenge.
“If you want to go,” he said, gesturing toward the door, “go.”
Your breath caught. You should have. You should have walked out.
But you didn’t.
Because you knew that if you did, if you stepped outside now, you wouldn’t just be walking into Gotham. You would be walking into something else. Something waiting.
Slade knew it. And now, so did you.
You swallowed hard, stepping back from the door. Slade huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head like you had just proven his point. Then, without another word, he walked past you and disappeared into the other room. That was the moment you knew, whatever was waiting for you out there was worse than what was waiting inside. You just didn’t know what it was yet.
You found out a week later. A part of it, at least.
The envelope was waiting for you when you returned from a job with Slade, slipped under the apartment door like a whisper of something you had tried to forget. You had bent down, fingers hesitating just for a second before picking it up. The paper was thick, expensive. No return address. No markings. But you didn’t have to open it to know who it was from. The sharp smell of cologne gave it away.
Your stomach twisted, nausea rising in the back of your throat as you tore it open, your hands gripping the edges a little too tightly. The letter inside was simple. Only four words.
You won't forget me.
Your breath hitched. Your hands trembled. Because the worst part was, he was right. No matter how much Slade consumed you, or your occasional fantasy about Clark; he also stayed on your mind
You barely had time to process it before you heard the apartment door shut behind you. Your fingers snapped the letter closed, chest tightening, but it was too late.
Slade had already seen.
His expression didn’t change, but you could feel it. The shift in the air. The way his shoulders set just a little too still, the way his single eye flickered from your face to the envelope with something dark and unreadable. He stepped forward, not rushing, just closing the distance between you with the kind of inevitability that made your breath come short.
You turned, but before you could move, his hand shot out. Not rough, not gentle like usual, just firm. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, halting you in place.
“Let go,” you muttered, voice barely above a whisper.
He didn’t.
Instead, he reached for the letter.
You pulled back.
Slade’s grip tightened. “Let me see,” he said, his voice low, controlled. He wasn't used to you denying him these days, not when you loved him.
Your stomach clenched. You didn’t let go, but it didn’t matter. Because Slade never asked twice.
With one sharp tug, he tore the letter from your grasp, unfolding it with a lazy flick of his wrist. You watched as his eye scanned the words, his jaw tensing, his fingers tightening around the paper just slightly.
Then, finally, a quiet chuckle. A dark, amused sound. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Your breath hitched. Slade looked at you now. Expression unreadable.
“Do you miss him?” Your heart stopped. You denied it, but you could see in Slade's eyes that he didn't believe you. In the way he turned away from you that night. You didn't blame him, you didn't even believe yourself.
Harvey always knew how to play the long game.
Small things began to shift in your life and you knew who was behind it. The song on the radio. A scarf. A photo photo. They were never coincidences, he didn’t believe in coincidence. The man was calculated, meticulous in his pursuits. When he wanted something, he played patient, steady, unyielding, watching from the shadows, striking when you least expected it.
Slade was the same way, but Slade never needed patience. Slade took what he wanted. Harvey waited for it to come back to him.
The jazz playing in the bar was nothing, just white noise in the background while you sat beside Slade, nursing your drink, your head still fogged from the last mission. You weren’t thinking of anything other than how good it felt to finally sit still.
Then, days later, the scarf appeared. Neatly folded on the couch, like a gift wrapped in silence, waiting for you to pick it up. You hadn’t touched it at first, just stood there, staring at it, fingers twitching at your sides. It was a trick of the mind, an old memory manifesting in a way that didn’t make sense.
Except it wasn’t.
He had been here. Or close enough to touch. You should have told Slade. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. And then, the photo. A photo Selina took of you and him dancing at the Pink Pony Club. It smelled like him too.
That was what shattered the illusion of security, the idea that you had control over this. The moment you saw it, you knew.
Harvey had always been a sentimentalist, clinging to memories long past, treasuring things most people would discard.
You, once upon a time, had been one of those things. And now? You weren’t sure. You weren't sure what he wanted, especially since he had Tiffany. You had placed the photo down carefully, afraid to crumple it, afraid to acknowledge what it meant.
You had kept your movements neutral, your breath steady, but Slade had been watching. His presence in the other room was a solid weight pressing into your chest. The shuffle of files, the slow deliberate sound of metal being set down, he was waiting.
He had noticed. Of course, he had. Slade noticed everything. And yet, he didn’t say a word.
You lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling, feeling Slade’s presence next to you like a silent storm waiting to break. He wasn’t asking. He was waiting for you to give yourself away. To tell him the truth, to trust him like he trusted you.
Slade had been watching you too closely, keeping his invisible leash tight without ever pulling. That was the way he worked, he let you think you had freedom while keeping you within his reach. If you had tried to leave through the door, he would have known.
So, you didn’t.
You waited, feigned sleep, forced your breathing into something slow, even, something convincing. You heard him move in the other room, heard the creak of his chair, the slow inhale of a cigar.
You moved the moment he shifted. Window, not the door. Silent steps. A fire escape that groaned beneath your weight. By the time Slade glanced back toward the couch, you were already gone.
Harvey knew you would come.
You knew that from the moment you stepped onto the rooftop, the Gotham skyline stretched out behind him like a kingdom.
He turned before you could say anything, a slow, easy movement, his face shadowed beneath the dim glow of the streetlights. And then, he smiled. Not a smirk. Not the sharp, dangerous grin you had been expecting. It was something softer. Something more desperate. Like a man in the desert coming across a well.
“Took you long enough, didn't think you got my message. I started thinking that maybe the note didn't reach you.” he murmured. The message he left in the women's bathroom at a bar you and Slade frequented.
Your throat felt tight. You felt hurt all over again. Like someone reopened the wound of his betrayal. Like the same broken girl Slade took in six months ago. You came here for closure. So that it wouldn't hurt when you said his name or sang the songs you wrote for him. “How did you find me?”
What did he want? To torture you? Rub salt in your wounds?
Harvey exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, I never lost you.”
Only Slade called you that now. The words made your stomach twist, a cold knot settling in your chest. You should have walked away then. But you didn’t. Because you had to know.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you haunting me? Not letting me move on?” Your voice shook as you said it. This conversation was long overdue.
Harvey’s fingers gripped the railing, his knuckles white. “Because I need you to listen to me. Just once. Just this once. Hear me out.”
Your heart hammered. Hear him out? He could've started with an apology.
“You think I’ll forgive you?” you spat. You would, because when you looked at him, you still felt the same warmth you did all those months ago; only this time it was mixed with resentment and longing.
He flinched. And for the first time, you saw it—the raw, desperate emotion that he had always hidden behind sharp words and confident grins. The mask cracked, just for a second.
His voice turned rough, unsteady. “I don’t deserve forgiveness. I know that. But I need you to hear me out.”
You shook your head, stepping back, but he reached out—not touching, not yet, but close.
“You don’t know what’s happening,” he continued, his voice dropping into something urgent, pleading. “Your family—Tim, Dick, all of them—they’re figuring it out. They’re finding out the truth about Tiffany. They'll realize what she's doing, like I did.They'll know soon, maybe not today or tomorrow; but soon. They'll realize she's been using her powers on them like she did to me.”
Your breath came too short. No. This was not happening. Not when you were finally happy again. Not when you think you've fallen in love with Slade.
“No,” you whispered.
Your vision blurred. It was happening. Everything you had tried to scream about for years, everything they had ignored, it was going to come to light. Harvey’s fingers brushed your wrist.
Soft. Careful. Like he was trying not to scare you away.
“And when they realize what they did to you,” he murmured, “they’re going to come running. Crawling back like I am.”
Your stomach twisted.
“They’re going to act like they care,” he continued, voice soft, insidious. “Like they’re sorry. But they’re not. Not like I am. You know that, don’t you?”
Your lips parted. You hated how much sense it made. Hated how deep the doubt had already burrowed into your skin. Hated how genuine and honest he was being, you could sense it. Harvey tilted his head.
And then, voice lower, almost fragile he said, “You don’t have to go back to them.”
Your stomach dropped. You stepped back. “I’m not going back,” you said, voice shaking. Never.
Harvey swallowed hard. And for a moment, you thought he might break, that the weight of what he had done, what he had lost, might finally crush him. But then, he looked at you.
And you saw it, the shift. The danger. Not Two-Face. Not the cold, calculated criminal.
Just Harvey Dent. The man who never let go. “You think you’re free?” he murmured.
The words sent a chill down your spine. Harvey smiled, but it wasn’t kind. “You think he just let you leave?”
Your chest tightened. You tried not to show the flicker of doubt, the small crack in your resolve. But Harvey saw it.
And then, voice so soft, so dangerous—“He’s not going to let you go either. He'll keep you locked up. I won't.”
You should have never gone to him.
You had known it was a mistake the second you saw him standing there, leaning against the rooftop railing, the glow of Gotham’s skyline making him look almost human.
But you had gone anyway. Because Harvey had always been a mistake you kept making.
You clenched your fists, how dare he talk about Slade? What right did he have to tell you who to trust. "Yeah and I'm gonna take advice from you. That's rich."
He softened immediately, his regret and remorse so obvious; yet he refused to apologize. You wanted to hit him, hurt him like he hurt you; yet when he stood in front of you in the moonlight, your treacherous heart still beat for him. Your heart didn't want to hurt the man who showed you what love is. The man who picked up the shattered pieces your family and Clark left and rearranged them beautifully. It didn't care that he broke them again; he could fix it.
“I made a mistake. I paid for it, I know the truth now.” He said steadily stepping closer, sensing your reluctance.
Your pulse pounded. “What do you want from me?” You were here for answers, not to rekindle an old flame. Not when you were starting one.
Harvey exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Nothing from you. ”
The words hit you too hard. You understood what he was implying, what he wanted. You knew he would come crawling back someday, you just didn't expect it so soon
You clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady. “Why?”
His smile faltered. His hands curled around the railing, gripping it like he needed something solid to hold on to.
"You know why. But that's not what i called you for. I called you to warn you about your family and Tiffany,” he said, his voice lower now, rougher. More desperate. “I can throw them off for a little while, lead them off track and make sure they don't know the truth. If that's what you want. But once they know the truth, they won't leave you alone. Certainly not with him.”
You hated the way your chest tightened with affection at his consideration. You hated that you were here. You hated that he still had a hold on you. You hated how he talked about Slade. You hated hearing him say Tiffany's name, it brought back so much hurt and hatred.
“I don't care about them Keep them away for as long as you want. You know I'm not here to hear about them or your whore.” you said viciously, your eyes shining and your teeth sharpening.
Slade would be proud.
Harvey didn't react to your fangs, he wasn't afraid of you. He came closer and grasped your hand, his eyes so heartbroken that it gave you satisfaction, only for a minute.
His voice cracked slightly. “Nothing I do or say can make up for what I did.” His jaw tightened. “I know that.”
You should have walked away. But you didn’t. Because Harvey’s voice dropped lower, his words curling around you like a trap you should have seen coming. “But I need you to know something,” he whispered.
You swallowed hard. He stepped closer, slow and deliberate, watching your reaction. “She wanted to be you, she tried so hard.”
Your breath hitched. You knew this. But hearing Harvey say it made you feel so much better.
Harvey’s voice was soft, almost reverent. “But she never could.”
Your stomach dropped. Why did this have to happen now? Why now when you finally forgot about him?
“She dressed like you,” he continued. “Talked like you. Watched the way you moved. The way you laughed.” His voice hardened. “The way you loved.”
You shook your head, backing away. You couldn't take this anymore. You wanted to run back into Slade's arms, where nothing could touch you. “Shut up.”
Harvey didn’t.
“She wanted to take everything from you.” His expression twisted. “And maybe, if I had been a different man, I would have let her.”
Your skin crawled at the thought. Harvey let out a breathless laugh, bitter and sharp. “But I couldn’t. I had to go digging, looking for clues.”
His hands clenched at his sides. “Because she wasn’t you. No matter how hard she tried to be. No matter how much she played with my mind, she could never replace you.”
You hated him.
You hated that you believed him.
You hated how you still loved him.
Harvey exhaled sharply, tilting his head, watching you with something frighteningly raw. “Every time she touched me, every time she tried to take something that wasn’t hers—” his voice dropped into something dangerous, low and dark and broken— “I was thinking of you.”
Your breathing came too fast.
Harvey stepped closer.
“Every time I kissed her,” he whispered, “I wanted it to be you.”
You squeezed your eyes shut. “Stop. I don't care.” Lies.
“She wasn’t you,” he repeated, voice almost pleading. “She never could be.”
Your throat closed. Your eyes watered and your teeth burned with unshed venom just thinking of his betrayal. Why was this happening.
Harvey’s fingers ghosted over your wrist. Not touching, not quite.
“I never wanted her, not really” he murmured. “Not once.”
Silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating. This was all you wanted to hear, all you wished for for so long. So why did you feel trapped. Harvey’s voice dropped even lower. He moved even closer
“Tell me, sweetheart.”
You forced yourself to look at him.
“If you don’t care,” he whispered, eyes burning, “why are you still here? Why do you want answers so bad? Why do you still look at me like that?”
You shouldn’t have come.
But you hadn’t been able to help yourself.
Because Harvey always knew what to say, how to linger in your mind like an open wound that refused to heal.
And now here you were, standing under the dim glow of the rooftop’s city lights, your eyes watering, the weight of his gaze pressing into you, sinking into your bones like something familiar, something dangerous.
You forced yourself to keep your stance steady, your pulse even. “You don’t get to ask me those questions.”
Harvey let out a breath, almost a chuckle, but there was no humor in it. His hands curled around the railing as he moved away from you again, gripping the cold metal like it was the only thing keeping him from reaching for you.
“Do you know how many times I told myself you were gone? That I lost you, ” His voice was steady now, but there was an edge to it—something dangerous. “How many times I tried to let you go, to let you move on?”
Your chest tightened. You weren’t sure if it was anger or something else, something more dangerous. “I didn’t ask you to wait for me. I didn't want you to regret your choice. I didn't want anything but happiness for you. No matter how much you hurt me.”
Harvey’s fingers twitched.
“No.” His lips pressed together in a thin line, he knew the truth, that you always wished the best for him. “No, you didn’t.”
The wind curled between you, cold and sharp, carrying the weight of everything unsaid. You should have turned away. Should have walked back the way you came.
But then Harvey laughed, a bitter, broken sound.
“She used her little snake charm but somehow,” he continued, “after a week I was thinking of you. I never loved her. Couldn't even bring myself to like her, honestly.”
Your stomach dropped. It was a gut punch, sharp and unforgiving. He saw it—the flicker of emotion in your face, the tightening of your jaw, the way your breathing caught for just a second too long.
And Harvey, Two-Face, the man who never let go, moved forward, voice soft, eyes burning.
“I love you,” he murmured. “I never stopped loving you”
Your fingers curled into fists at your sides. “Shut up.”
He ignored you. Again.
“I love you so much,” he said, voice low. “You love me too or you wouldn't be here.”
“I said shut up.” He was right, he always is.
Harvey smirked, but there was nothing victorious in it. It was almost self-loathing.
“I never loved her,” he whispered again. He was making sure you knew.
“She wanted me to,” he continued. “She wanted to take everything from you.” His jaw tightened. “And maybe, if you had been a different woman, I would have let her.”
The thought of it made your skin crawl.
Harvey, Tiffany. Together. The ultimate betrayal.
“But I couldn’t.” His voice cracked slightly. “Because she wasn’t you.”
He kept repeating it, trying to speak his remorse into your heart directly. You hated how much it affected you. Hated how your chest ached, how your mind burned with the thought of what could have been. You shouldn’t care. But you did. And Harvey knew it.
“You’re lying,” you whispered, forcing steel into your voice. “You used her, just like she used you. You wanted to spy on Bruce and I wouldn't do it.”
Harvey let out a sharp breath. “Yeah.” His eyes met yours. Unflinching. “I did.”
There was no shame in his voice. Just cold, simple truth. No regret anymore. He didn't regret using her, he regretted hurting you.
“But it wasn’t revenge, sweetheart,” he murmured, his Gotham accent slipping in the angrier he got. “It was survival. She had me under her little spell at first; when that stopped working, her little dream team made sure I never stepped outta line. Never came crawling back to you, never told anyone the truth. But I'm done with them now.”
Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. Harvey stepped closer.
“Every time I kissed her, every time I played along, I was thinking of you.” His voice dipped, lower, darker. More desperate. “Every time I called her by her name, I wanted to say yours.”
Your breathing came too fast. This wasn’t fair. Harvey was not supposed to be able to do this to you. Not anymore. He was supposed to be dead to you. He had killed himself in your mind the day he let himself be used, the day he betrayed you.
And yet—
Yet.
You couldn’t move.
Because deep down, a part of you knew—you had thought of him, too. When you weren't with Slade, Harvey consumed your thoughts.
Your stomach twisted as he stepped closer again. “You’re smart, sweetheart,” he whispered. “You always were. Choose carefully.”
You swallowed hard. This wasn't about your family anymore. This was about him and Slade.
“You don’t have to go back to them.” He repeated himself again trying to convince you. His words settled in your bones, heavy, unshakable.
You clenched your jaw again. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
Harvey’s eyes flickered, something dark and pleased curling at the edges. And then, voice low, almost dangerous, “Then why are you still with him?”
Your breath hitched. Slade. Your body went rigid.
Harvey took another step closer. Your noses almost touched and you nearly threw yourself into his arms.
“You think he's better than me?”
Your chest tightened. Doubt crept in. You had been so careful. So quiet. Hadn’t you? Harvey saw it. And he smiled.
A slow, knowing smirk. “He’s not going to let you go, he won't give you a choice. I don't blame the man, if I hadn't fucked everything up; I wouldn't let you go either.”
Your stomach dropped. The realization hit you all at once, suffocating, crushing. You hadn’t been careful. You had been playing into Slade’s hands all along.
Because Slade always knew. And if he hadn’t stopped you?
That meant he was letting you dig your own grave. A shiver ran through you.
The moment Harvey’s voice dipped, the second his fingers ghosted over your wrist like a lover’s touch—you should have walked away. But you didn’t. Because part of you needed to hear him say it. Needed to hear him tell you what you already knew.
That he still wanted you. That he never stopped. That you were never meant to be replaced. And it felt amazing to hear the regret in his voice and see the pure longing in his eyes.
The wind curled between you, cold and biting, but Harvey’s presence was stiflingly warm. He was watching you the way he always had; like you belonged to him, like the months between you hadn’t changed a thing. And for the first time all night, you let yourself look at him.
Really look at him.
The scars on the left side of his face had deepened, his two-toned gaze more piercing than before. The weight he carried in his shoulders was heavier, more defined. He was still Harvey, but he wasn’t just Harvey anymore. He had become something darker, something rough around the edges, something broken in a way that made you feel like a piece of you had broken along with him.
You swallowed. “I have to go.” Before you did something you couldn't take back.
Harvey exhaled, slow and deliberate. He nodded, but he didn’t move. He didn’t stop you. But he wasn’t letting you go, either.
“You’re going back to him.” It wasn’t a question. A statement, like he knew it was coming
Your pulse stuttered. “It’s not like that and you know it.” You still felt the need to defend yourself, even though you knew you didn't owe him an explanation.
You still loved him, that much was clear.
Harvey let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “Sure it isn’t.”
You took a step back. He didn’t reach for you, didn’t say anything to stop you, but his presence curled around you like a shadow, wrapping itself around your spine, keeping you anchored in place. And then his voice dropped. Low. Certain.
“I’m letting you walk away. But I'm not letting you go. Not when we still love each other.”
Your throat tightened. He wasn’t chasing you. Not yet. But you felt it. The promise in his voice. The inevitability. You didn’t respond.
You didn't deny that you still loved him, it was like a child insisting they didn't eat cookies when they have crumbs all over them.
You just turned and forced yourself to walk away.
The apartment was silent when you returned. Slade was waiting, seated in his chair, drink in hand, legs spread, glaring at the walls. He didn’t turn when you entered. Didn’t move when you stepped further inside, carefully shutting the door behind you. You weren’t sure if that was better or worse.
You slipped off your shoes, moving slowly, watching him, waiting. Nothing. No reaction. Just that unshakable stillness. The kind that had always been more dangerous than his anger.
You took a steadying breath. If you didn't speak first, he wouldn't speak at all. “Slade—”
“I knew you’d come back.”
His voice cut through the room, sharp and even. Your fingers curled at your sides. “Of course I came back.”
Now, he looked at you. Finally. And when he did, it felt like a blow. That single eye, cold and assessing, swept over you, taking in every detail, every movement, every breath you tried to keep steady. Then, his lips curved. Slow. Controlled.
“Did he tell you what you wanted to hear? Make you want to run into his loving arms again?”
Your stomach dropped. You didn’t let it show. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Slade exhaled through his nose, the faintest huff of amusement. “Don’t insult me.”
Your jaw tightened. Silence stretched between you, heavy and charged. You weren’t sure if you were waiting for him to snap, or if he was waiting for you to confess. Then, finally—Slade leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, voice lowering into something dangerous.
“Tell me something,” he said lowly.
You didn’t move. “What?”
Slade tilted his head, watching you like he was already playing out the end of this game. “Did you hesitate?”
The words hit harder than they should have. You swallowed. You could lie. You could tell him what he wanted to hear. But it wouldn’t matter. Slade always knew. And that was the worst part.
Slade was quiet for too long. Then—he sighed. Tired. Expectant. And that was worse than anger. You hated when he treated you like this, so indifferent. You liked his anger better, at least then you could get a reaction out of him.
“Take off your coat,” he said. You hesitated. Slade’s expression didn’t shift. “Now.”
Slowly, carefully, you did as he asked, slipping the fabric from your shoulders, letting it drop onto the chair beside you. Slade’s eye flickered toward it. Then, back to you.
You weren’t sure what he was looking for. Maybe he was looking for something Harvey left behind. Something you didn’t even realize you had carried home with you.
Then, after a long pause—Slade smirked. And it wasn’t kind like the ones you've grown accustomed to.
“You don’t even realize it, do you?”
You stiffened. “Realize what?”
Slade leaned back again, completely relaxed. Like he had already won. “You'll know soon.”
Your breath caught. Where was he going with this? You hated when he spoke like some ancient being and he knew that. He was gonna be insufferable these next few days; he always is when you do something he doesn't like.
“Doesn’t matter where you go,” he continued, his voice so damn certain. His smirk widened, mocking. “You’ll always come back to me.”
Your chest tightened. You hated him. Because he was right. He knew you hated it, too.
You lay awake that night. Not because you couldn’t sleep. Not because Slade was in the other room, making you sleep alone for the first time in months, still awake, waiting, watching, knowing.
But because you couldn’t shake the way Harvey had looked at you before you left. Not angry. Not resentful. Just patient and remorseful. Like he already knew something you didn't.
Slade never brought it up again. Not directly. You weren’t sure if that was worse. You weren't sure if you wanted him to scream at you and demand you never see Harvey Dent again. You would rather anger than the silent treatment.
He didn’t demand answers. He didn’t press the issue. He simply carried on as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t watched you walk through the door smelling like another man’s presence.
That should have been a relief. But it wasn’t. Because Slade didn’t let things go. He let them fester.
It was in the way he touched you now, more deliberate, more possessive. The way his hands lingered a little too long on your waist when he passed you in the kitchen, the way his fingers grazed your wrist, as if reminding you that you were still there, still his.
It was in the way he watched you. He had always been observant, but now it was different. Sharper. He wasn’t just looking at you, he was reading you.
Every twitch of your fingers. Every slight shift in your breathing. Every time you looked over your shoulder without realizing it. You had brought something back from that rooftop, and Slade knew it.
And still, he said nothing. Instead, he tightened his hold.
It was late. The apartment was quiet, but neither of you were asleep. Your back pressed into the cool sheets, heartbeat steady but too aware of the man beside you. It'd been three days since Harvey and Slade was finally sleeping next to you again, but you knew he wasn't truly letting things go.
Slade’s fingers traced slow circles against your wrist, his grip loose but present. “You haven’t been sleeping,” he murmured.
You exhaled, shifting slightly beneath his hold. “And you have?”
A quiet chuckle. “I sleep when I need to.”
You turned your head, meeting his gaze in the dim light of the bedroom. “And when do you need to?” You missed teasing him.
Slade’s smirk was lazy, knowing. “Whenever you’re not around to keep me entertained.”
You rolled your eyes, but he didn’t let you pull away. His grip tightened, just enough to remind you he was there.
“You think too much,” he murmured, voice lower now. “Keeps you restless.”
“Maybe I like thinking,” you shot back booping his nose. You lived to annoy him, to push his buttons in a way only you could get away with.
Slade hummed, shifting to prop himself up on his elbow, still watching you. His fingers trailed down your arm, you would've though he was trying to start something if his movements weren't so slow and calculated.
“What are you thinking about now?” He said reeling you into his trap, his eyes hard. You hated when he tried to trap you. Your pulse skipped. Nothing you said would be the right answer.
Slade’s lips quirked up slightly, but there was something in his expression—something darker, something expectant.
“You can say it,” he mused. “Say his name.”
You were tempted to do it, moan Harvey's name just to piss him off, but that was a line even you knew not to cross. You rolled your eyes, "God, just let it go Slade. It wasn't important."
Why couldn't he just let this go? Slade smirked, mocking. “That’s what I thought.”
You didn’t break his gaze. Didn’t look away. Because he knew. He always knew. Nothing goes over Slade Wilson's head.
The next morning, you woke up to a message. Not a text. Not a voicemail. A gift.
The small wooden box sat on the kitchen counter, neat, precise. Like it had been waiting for you. Your blood ran cold. You hadn’t heard anyone come in. You hadn’t even felt him. But Harvey had been here. You swallowed, fingers brushing over the lid before carefully lifting it open.
Inside was a single playing card.
The Two of Hearts.
And beneath it—folded carefully, as if it was meant to be unwrapped like some kind of sentimental treasure—was the same scarf he had left before.
Except this time, there was something else. Perfume. Your perfume. It smelled like you and him. Like Harvey had held onto it. Like he had kept it close. Your stomach twisted.
Harvey had been here. And you hadn’t even noticed.
Your fingers curled around the edge of the box, breath coming a little too sharp, too shallow. The walls of the apartment felt smaller. You didn’t hear Slade approach, but you felt him before he spoke.
His voice was smooth, dangerous. “Something I should know about?”
You forced yourself to breathe. “No.”
Slade leaned against the counter, eyeing the box like he already knew exactly who it was from. And then—he laughed. A quiet, amused sound, as if this was a game he had already won. “I should have killed him when I had the chance,” he said, in the same tone some used when regretting not buying a book before it sold out.
Your stomach dropped. Slade tilted his head, eye still locked on you. “But you wouldn’t have liked that, would you?”
You said nothing.
Slade smirked, shaking his head. “Soft spot for old flames.” He reached out, fingers brushing your wrist. “That’s your problem.”
You clenched your jaw, jerking your arm away. “And what’s yours?”
Slade’s gaze darkened. “I don’t have problems.”
You let out a breathless, humorless laugh. Always with the tough guy persona, honestly it must be tiring always acting untouchable. “Right. Sorry, I forgot. Because you don’t feel anything.”
Slade didn’t respond right away. He just looked at you, unreadable. His hand reached for your jaw, firm, demanding. His thumb traced your cheek, slow, deliberate. And when he spoke, his voice was quiet.
“I feel plenty.” You swallowed. Slade smirked. “You just don’t like what I feel.”
You stepped back before you could do something stupid. Something that would make you forget about the box on the counter, the scent of Harvey still lingering in the air. Something that would make you forget that you weren’t sure who you were more afraid of losing.
Your phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. Harvey was right. They were going to find out the full truth soon. And when they did, they would come for you.
Now, a week after your meeting with him, your phone wouldn't stop buzzing. Message after message, call after call, each one from Tim Drake-Wayne. All asking you questions about Tiffany, about yourself. About where you were.
Your breath caught in your throat as you scrolled through the texts, hands shaking, stomach twisting itself into knots so tight you thought you might be sick. Of course Tim was the first to figure out something was wrong. He was about five years too late though.
Tim: We need to talk. Please answer. I have questions. About Tiffany..
You could barely breathe. He wanted to investigate, to look deep into Tiffany. Now?
Now, after years of pushing you aside, after ignoring every cry for help, now he wanted to take your warnings seriously.
Your eyes burned, fingers tightening around the phone, your mind screaming at you to respond, to finally say all the things you’d held in your chest for too long.
But you didn’t. Instead, you turned the phone off. You shoved it under the pillow, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes, trying to push away the tears, trying to ignore the way your chest ached with something ugly and desperate.
The moment you walked out of the bedroom, you knew he had seen.
Slade was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest, gaze heavy with something unreadable. The phone was still buzzing beneath the pillow in the other room, and somehow, you knew he had heard it.
He had been waiting for this. You swallowed, standing stiffly near the doorway, trying to pretend like everything was fine. Slade didn’t say anything at first. He just watched.
“Took him long enough,” he mused, his voice casual, controlled.
You rolled your eyes. He's been bitchy ever since the whole Harvey thing.
Slade’s eye flickered to your hands, still clenched at your sides. “And let me guess—you ignored him.”
You hated how easily he could see through you. You glared at him, jaw tight. “None of your business.”
Slade chuckled, shaking his head, pushing off the counter and closing the distance between you in slow, measured steps.
“Oh, sweetheart.” His voice was lower now, smoother, curling around your spine like a threat disguised as affection. “Everything about you is my business.”
You tensed. Slade reached up, tracing a gloved finger along your cheek, tilting your chin up slightly, forcing you to meet his gaze.
“He’ll keep calling,” he murmured. “He’ll keep begging. He'll figure it out and tell the rest of the little squad and they'll all come running back. Just like your dear old Dent. ” His lips curled into something mocking. “That’s what they do, isn’t it? Make mistakes because they know you'll forgive them?"
You tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. Not to hurt you, just enough to remind you who was in control.
His thumb brushed over your lips, slow, deliberate. “What are you gonna do?”
Your breath hitched. Slade leaned in slightly, voice dropping even lower. Dangerous. “Do you want Tim to tell the others? Want your family back? Want him back? Even after he fucked your sister while you were lying sick in your bed?”
Your throat tightened. He was toying with you. Mocking you, trying to hurt you. Making you say it. And you didn’t want to say it. Because you didn’t know. Your family had been your world.For so long, all you wanted was to be seen.
To be loved.
To be something more than just a ghost standing in the background, watching them fawn over someone who had stolen everything from you. And Harvey gave that to you, before he betrayed you.
And now, he was sorry. Soon, they would all know the truth and be sorry.
The emotions clawed at your throat.
You wanted to scream at Tim. Tell him it was too late. Tell them that he could never fix this. No amount of investigating and apologies could make up for years of neglect.
But another part of you, the part that still ached for their love, the part that still wanted them to prove you wrong,
That part whispered, “What if?” What if when they found out the truth, they would love you? What if this time, they actually stayed?
What if this was your chance to finally have the family you always wanted?
The war inside your head made you dizzy. And Slade knew it. He was still holding you, still keeping you rooted to him, while your world spun out of control. After a long, suffocating silence, Slade finally sighed. “You’re a mess.”
You glared at him, pushing away from his grip. “Fuck you.”
Slade chuckled, unfazed. “You do it almost every night.”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "You're a child, you know that?"
You turned away, grabbing a glass from the counter, hands still shaking slightly as you filled it with water. You weren’t thirsty, but you needed something—anything—to keep yourself grounded.
Slade leaned against the counter again, watching you with amusement, but something deeper lurked beneath it. Then, in a voice so casual it almost didn’t register, “I’ll make him stop. I'll make them both stop.”
The glass almost slipped from your fingers. You turned sharply, eyes wide. “What?”
Slade shrugged, like it was nothing. “You don’t want to deal with them. You don’t want to make a decision. So I’ll make it for you.”
Your breath caught. Slade never dealt with things peacefully, he got rid of problems permanately. “You can’t just—”
“I can.” His smirk deepened. “And I will.”
Your stomach twisted. Because the worst part was; you weren’t sure if you were relieved or horrified. Because Slade was right. You didn’t want to make a choice. You wanted someone to do it for you.
And Slade was more than happy to take that burden.
The first thing you noticed the next morning was the silence. No more buzzing. No more messages lighting up your screen. Slade had done it.
He hadn’t waited for you to argue. Hadn’t given you the choice. By the time you checked your phone, every number had been blocked. Every contact erased like they had never existed at all.
And maybe that’s what Slade wanted.
For them to be nothing but ghosts in your past. A clean break. A fresh start. So why did it feel like your chest was splitting open?
You had spent years craving their attention. Years begging for even a scrap of love. And now? Now you had the chance to get it. And you ignored it. You told yourself it didn’t matter. That you didn’t need them. That you had spent too long chasing something that was never meant to be yours.
And yet, as you stood in the quiet of the apartment, phone gripped too tight in your hands, you ached. Because you had wanted them to fight for you.
Slade had left that morning, his usual teasing smirk in place, but there had been something off.
Maybe it was the fact that his mission was dragging out longer than expected.
Maybe it was the way his fingers had lingered under your chin before he left, thumb brushing over your jaw like he was making sure you were still his.
Or maybe it was the way he had muttered, “Be good while I’m gone, sweetheart.” as you kissed him goodbye.
Like he already knew you wouldn’t be. Like he already knew something was coming. The apartment felt too big without him. His absence wasn’t something you should have noticed.
But you did.
It was in the empty space beside you when you sat on the couch. The extra portion of dinner you made out of habit. The lack of footsteps behind you. The missing weight of his presence pressing against your world, keeping you safe.
It was the first time in months you had been truly alone. So you did the only thing you could think of.
You took a nice, long, hot, shower, trying to dull the ache below your hips. You and Slade had sex last night, but somehow you were already wanting more. It was like your body could sense his absense.
You stood under the hot water, letting the steam curl around your skin, letting the heat scald away the thoughts clawing at your mind.
Maybe Slade was right. Maybe it was easier to just let go.
There was a sound. Soft. Distant. A creak where there shouldn’t be one. You wouldn't have heard it, wouldn't have sensed the body heat if you didn't have your powers. Your heart stopped. You turned off the water immediately, listening.
Nothing.
Maybe it was just—
Another creak. Closer this time. You swallowed, pulse hammering, every nerve in your body screaming at you that something was wrong. Slade was gone.
No one should be here. But you weren’t alone.
The second you stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your damp skin, fangs reader and a knife in your hand, you felt him.
The shift in the air. The weight of someone watching. And then, his voice.
“Gotta admit,” Harvey mused, voice smooth, mocking, as if he had any right to be angry “didn’t think you’d be the type to shack up with a guy like him.”
Your stomach dropped. You turned sharply, eyes darting across the room, breath catching in your throat when you saw him.
Sitting on your bed. On Slade’s bed.
Harvey was leaning back against the headboard, one leg crossed over the other, looking far too comfortable. Like he belonged there. Like he wasn’t the intruder in this equation.
Harvey sat there like he hadn’t broken in, hadn’t shattered what little peace you had left. The moment you stepped out of the shower, still dripping, wrapped only in a towel, you knew, he was waiting for you.
Your fingers clenched around the towel’s edge, jaw tight, pulse pounding.
"You’ve got some fucking nerve," you muttered, stepping further into the room, closing the distance between you and him.
Harvey leaned back against the pillows, one arm draped lazily over the headboard, watching you with something smug, something knowing.
"Had to see you," he said simply. Like it was normal. Like it was nothing.
Your stomach twisted. It was never nothing with Harvey.
"And let me guess," you bit back. "You just let yourself in."
His smirk widened. "Door was unlocked, it’s not breaking and entering if you used to live together."
You let out a sharp laugh. "Bullshit. That’s exactly what it is, Dent. We don't like together anymore. Never did officially either."
Harvey didn’t flinch. Instead, his gaze slid lower. Over the damp strands of your hair. Over your throat. Your collarbone. Your bare legs.
You knew that look. It made something ugly stir inside you.
He looked at you, gaze slow, deliberate, taking in every inch of you. The damp strands of hair clinging to your skin. The way the towel barely covered enough to keep you decent.
His lips curled into a smirk. “Don’t stop on my account. Nothing I haven't seen before.”
Your fingers clenched around the towel, pulse thundering. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Harvey let out a quiet chuckle, tapping his fingers against his knee. “Relax, sweetheart. Just thought I’d drop by. Say hello. You wouldn’t answer your phone, so I figured—” he spread his arms in mock innocence, “—why not pay a visit?”
You hated how calm he was. How easy he made it look. Like he hadn’t just broken into your home. Like he hadn't broken your heart. Your chest rose and fell in quick, shallow breaths, heart hammering against your ribs. Slade was gone. Gone.
No one was coming. But you could handle yourself. And Harvey knew it. His eyes flickered down your body again, this time slow, calculating. Looking at all the marks and love bites Slade had left the night before. “You always did have a thing for older men,” he mused.
Your jaw clenched. Low blow.
Harvey smirked. “What’s the matter? Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Thought you could just run off and play house with Gotham’s favorite mercenary and I’d let it slide?” He tsked, almost disappointed. “That’s not how this works, sweetheart.”
You glared at him. Where did he get the audacity? “You don’t own me. Especially not now. Especially not after what you did. Your apology didn't change anything. You've got no right to be here.”
Harvey’s expression darkened, but only for a second. Then he grinned. “Funny. That’s exactly what I was thinking about him.”
Your stomach twisted. Because you knew what he was doing. He wanted you off balance. He wanted you to doubt. It was working. Because a part of you—a part you hated—was already wondering what Slade would do when he found out. Because he would find out. How jealous would he be? Would he finally drop the whole nonchalant act, ask you to be official?
Harvey’s smirk widened. “You think he’s coming back soon? You waiting for him? That's real cute princess.”
Your throat tightened. “He'll be back tomorrow.”
Harvey shrugged, stretching out like he had all the time in the world. “It’s funny, isn’t it? How missions can just drag out longer than expected?” His grin turned sharp. Cruel. “Would be a real shame if something happened to keep him… occupied.”
Your blood froze. Harvey watched you, waiting for the realization to sink in. He knew. He knew Slade wasn’t coming home anytime soon.
Your fingers curled into fists and suddenly you were on top of him, fangs bared, “What did you do?”
Harvey simply leaned back, enjoying himself and the view of your almost naked body on top of him. He turned his neck, as if trying to give you more access to him.
Harvey raised an eyebrow. “Now, now. Don’t go blaming me. I didn’t lift a finger.” His grin widened. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know who did.”
Your breath was coming too fast, too shallow, panic creeping up your spine. Slade was gone. Harvey was here. You were trapped. And Harvey knew it. Your pulse pounded. Slade was gone. Harvey was here.
Your fingers dug into his shoulders, pinning him down harder against the mattress, your fangs bared, breath coming in sharp, furious exhales.
"What did you do?" you hissed again, voice low, dangerous, shaking with barely contained rage.
Harvey smirked up at you, completely unbothered. His eyes gleamed with that same smug amusement, like he was playing with his food.
"Relax, sweetheart," he murmured, voice infuriatingly smooth, teasing. "No need to get all worked up."
You pressed your thighs against his sides, pinning him harder. "Answer me, Harvey."
He let out a slow breath, his smirk twitching, dark amusement flickering across his features. "You always were so determined. I love that about you."
Your fingers tightened, nearly scratching his back, sharp acrylics pressing into his skin through the fabric of his white button down. You didn't want to hurt him, not badly at least.
"Tell me why Slade’s mission is taking so long," you demanded, your weight pressing down on him, your legs gripping him tighter.
Harvey’s hands moved then; sliding slowly up your thighs, gripping just hard enough to make your breath catch.
"You really think I’m gonna make this easy for you?" he murmured, voice dropping to something lower, something thicker with something he wasn’t bothering to hide.
Your stomach flipped, heat creeping down your spine, twisting through your limbs. He knew. He felt it.
His smirk widened, his hips shifting beneath you just slightly.
And that’s when you felt it.
Hard. Throbbing. Pressing against the thin fabric of his slacks, against the barely-there barrier of your towel. You nearly moaned, stop being a slut, you tried to tell yourself.
You froze, just for a second. And Harvey noticed.
You were straddling him, baring your venomous fangs. You could kill him. And he was hard. You could feel it, it was impossible not to, thick, twitching against your inner thigh, pressed right against you.
Your powers didn’t help. They never fucking did. The second you got close enough to feel body heat, it was over. It was a constant hum under your skin, that ache, that need, clawing at your sanity. Your towel barely clinging to your damp skin, the heat of his body seeping into yours, you didn't know how much longer you could hold on.
He let out a low, pleased chuckle, his good hand settling on your waist, just barely gripping. "Didn’t know you missed me this much, sweetheart. Thought you were over me?"
Your nails dug into his chest even harder, but he didn’t flinch. He never fucking did. "Tell me where Slade is," you demanded.
Harvey hummed, mocking. "You sure you wanna talk about him right now?" His fingers flexed against your skin, his smirk widening as he shifted slightly beneath you again. "Because from where I’m sitting, you got bigger problems."
Your breath hitched, and you hated it. Hated the way your traitorous body reacted to him. Hated the way he felt so familiar.
His gaze flickered, taking in the flush on your skin, the way your thighs squeezed involuntarily around him. He felt it too. The heat. The tension. The pull that never really disappeared, no matter how many times you had tried to convince yourself that you were done with him.
"You always were greedy," Harvey murmured, tilting his head, eyes dark with something wicked. He was loving this. "You just can’t get enough, can you?"
Suddenly, you were angry at him again. You remembered Tiffany. Your grip tightened around his wrists, holding him down, pressing harder into him, and his smirk twitched, just slightly.
Good. Let him fucking squirm. "You still think you have control here?" you whispered, lowering your head, your breath grazing the sharp line of his jaw.
His breathing faltered. Just for a second. Just enough.
Then, just as quickly, his lips curled again, sharp and taunting.
"Sweetheart," he murmured, voice deep, smug, full of sin. "As long as youre on top of me or under me, I don't give a shit who's in control."
Your entire body tensed. Your nails dragged down his chest, slow, teasing, right over his shirt. You could feel his heartbeat pounding beneath your fingertips, fast, erratic, out of sync with the smug bastard act he was putting on.
He was burning for you. Just as much as you were for him. But you weren’t going to give in.
"You still think you can do whatever you want to me?" you whispered, leaning in, letting your lips hover just over his.
Harvey’s eyes flickered. A muscle in his jaw ticked. And for the first time since he had shown up, his smirk finally fucking dropped.
You grinned. Then you moved your hips and ran your fingers up and down his chest.
Harvey cursed sharply through his teeth, his grip on your waist tightening instantly, fingers digging into your skin like a vice. His dick twitched against you through his slacks, so fucking hard and aching that you could almost feel the pulse of it.
You let out a slow, breathy chuckle. "Guess you do still want me, huh?"
Harvey’s breathing was uneven. "Careful," he rasped, voice lower, darker, more dangerous now. "You’re playing a real stupid game, princess."
"Why?" you taunted, grinded your hips again, watching the way his fingers twitched like he was fighting the urge to snap. "Because you can’t handle it? Because you can’t handle me?"
It was fun being in control. Slade never let you do whatever you wanted to him, barely ever in the bedroom. You loved control, especially when it meant having a man at your mercy beneath you.
Harvey’s eyes flashed. Then, he flipped you. Fast. Brutal.
You barely had time to react before you were the one beneath him , your towel barely hanging onto your body, his hand locked around your wrist, pinning you down, his body hovering over yours, pressing you into the mattress.
His breathing was hard, uneven, tense.
"You really think I don’t know what you’re doing?" he murmured, so close now.
Your chest heaved. You got too cocky, too confident, and now you were paying the price, "I don’t know what you’re talking about."
Harvey laughed softly, mocking, brushing his nose against yours. "Liar."
You swallowed, pulse hammering.
"You love this," he said, voice like gravel against your skin. "The attention. The desperation and groveling. You love seeing me beg. The way you talk like you want to kill me, and the next second," his lips ghosted your cheek, his cock pressing hard against your thigh, "you’re grinding against me like a fucking addict."
Your breath hitched. His grip tightened.
"He ever let you get on top?" he murmured, lips just barely grazing yours.
Your stomach twisted. "Don't."
His voice dropped lower, rougher. "Did you think about me when he had you at first? Did you close your eyes and pretend it was my hands on you even after I broke your heart? Should I tell him that?"
Your nails dug into his shoulder, your body betraying you, the heat between your legs only getting worse, stronger, overwhelming, unbearable.
"You wish," you rasped, but it sounded too breathless, too shaky.
Harvey smirked. He knew. "Say you don’t miss me," he challenged.
You clenched your jaw, turning your head away, trying to ignore the way your body burned beneath his.
"Say it," he demanded.
You tried to, but the words wouldn't come out.
Harvey hummed. Then, his fingers slid lower, trailing along your bare thigh, teasing the hem of the towel.
"Yeah," he mused, smug and cruel. "That’s what I thought."
His fingers flexed against your thighs, his grip tightening.
"Little desperate, aren’t you?" he murmured, his voice thick with something smug, something rough.
You scoffed, but your heart was hammering, your body betraying you. "If I was desperate," you whispered, leaning forward until your lips were just barely brushing against his, taunting, teasing. "You’d already be inside me."
Harvey let out a low groan. He flipped you back around, giving you full control. Letting you be on top. You lost yourself for a moment, lost the plot. You melted into him and began kissing his neck slowly and unbuttoning his shirt as you slowly moved against him. But then, you saw the picture frame you hung of you and Slade, right behind Harvey.
Slade made you take down all the photos whenever he went away on a mission, in case someone broke in and saw them, and decided to hurt you to get back at him. It was the only one you refused to remove.
It was of you and him, two months ago. Slade had a mission in Paris and he let you tag along, after you were done, you made him go to an ice cream shop. Some sweet old man asked if you wanted a picture together, Slade wasn't smiling, barely even smirking, but you could see the happiness in his eyes as he had his arms around your waist, looking down at you.
You felt nauseous, all the arousal you felt was gone. You were a whore. How could you do this to Slade? You stopped moving as your eyes watered, what if Harvey had done something to him?
Harvey's hands snapped up, gripping your hips, grinding you down onto him. He wasn't gonna let you stop now.
"Fuck, baby, I forgot how good you are at this. Don't stop, please." he exhaled, almost begging, his jaw tightening, his cock pulsing against you.
You bit your lip, trying to fight the heat clawing through your body, the way your nerves lit up at the sheer pressure of him beneath you. It felt so good. You were horny again. But you could use this to your advantage, Harvey wanted you even more that you wanted him.
"Tell me," you whispered, rolling your hips just slightly, torturing him. "Tell me what you mean when you say Slade's occupied.."
Harvey’s smirk curled, his hands dragging you down harder, making you feel every inch of him. " What’s it worth to you?"
Your breath hitched. Harvey’s fingers trailed up your back, slow, possessive, teasing. "You wanna make sure your merc comes back in one piece?"
You swallowed hard, your body thrumming with frustration, anger, something else. All control you had was slipping, your powers were making you horny but they weren't working. Harvey wasn't listening to what you told him to do.
"Make me happy, sweetheart. If I’m happy," his smirk deepened, his voice dripping with dark amusement. " the bastard stays alive."
Your chest tightened, heat roaring up your spine, burning you from the inside out. You hated him. You wanted him. You needed to keep Slade alive. Harvey’s hands slid lower, his thumbs tracing slow, burning circles into your skin.
"Make a decision, pretty girl, his flight leaves soon." he murmured, his dick twitched against you, heavy with need. God, how could he be horny while threatening your teacher/ mentor /situationship's life?
You couldn’t lose Slade.
So you kissed him. Hard. Desperate.
Harvey groaned against your lips, his hands flying up to grip your waist, dragging you down harder against him, practically trying to merge your bodies together.
"That’s my girl," he muttered, his voice rough, victorious, possessive.
Your stomach burned with shame, with need, with something twisted and terrible. You hated him. You loved him.
You needed Slade to live.
But you couldn't do this to Slade, couldn't betray him on the bed you shared every night. He would be livid, what would he do in this situation? Probably kill Harvey. But you weren't Slade, you weren't as brave or as cruel as him.
So you did what you do best: You ran.
You jumped off of Harvey, punching him in the nose, still only in your towel that somehow stayed on, and shut the bedroom door in his face. You had powers, you were faster than Harvey, maybe even stronger than him. You made it to the front door in seconds, but your heart dropped as you saw the three new deadbolts.
Fucking Slade. You debated letting him die at that point.
Suddenly, you felt him behind you, grabbing you and pinning you against the door.
“Goddamn,” He laughed, amused, mocking, “you really thought that would work?”
You snarled, struggling harder, but he didn’t budge. His grip only tightened.
“Let me go, Harvey.”
His breath hitched at the way you said his name. Not Dent. Not Two-Face. Not some alias meant to keep distance. Just Harvey.
And it made something in his chest clench. His fingers flexed, his other hand dragging up your spine in a slow, deliberate motion, making you shudder.
“You always run, don’t you?” His voice was low, smooth—but there was something dangerous beneath it. “Always running from someone.”
His grip tightened on your wrists, pressing them into the wall, “From them. From me. From yourself.”
You hated how well he knew you. You hated that he was right. You hated how he got you into bed willingly even as the guilt ate you up. You hated how good he made you feel, how you couldn't bring yourself to say no. If you did, he would stop, and you didn't want that.
"Don't act like you don't want me now. You were all over me not even a minute ago." He sneered, as he ripped off your towel like it offended him.
You didn't know how many times you came, or how long you went for. You felt so good, but somehow you've never felt worse. Even as Harvey made you scream his name, you thought of how Slade would react.
You felt even worse as the night wore on, and instead of rough sex, you began to make love. Harvey buried his face in your neck as he muttered apologies, still buried inside you, and swore he would make it up to you.
You began to cry, it felt so good. But it was so wrong, so disgusting.
And you knew you never felt true regret until you woke up the next morning in Harvey Dent's arms, naked on the bed you slept on with Slade Wilson.
WHAT YALL THINK?? 1-10?? ALSO COMMENT DOWN BELOW TO BE ON THE TAGLIST FOR THIS STORY
#yandere batfam#yandere dc#yandere batman#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere bruce wayne#yandere x reader#yandere bruce wayne x reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere harvey dent#yandere slade wilson#platonic yandere batman#yandere jason todd x reader
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I just watched ravens TikTok’s and what she saying does not line up with Jake or Carrington pov AT ALL!!! Jake and Carrington are lying idgaf.
There’s no way you have all this security at parties, yet somebody who not even 21 was handed alcohol and was “lingering around” mf get them an Uber home or get them to a safe space in the house! And then Jake saying he offered the footage? Mf why would she still be asking for the footage if you been offering to give it? NOT TO MENTION Jake said the party was thrown to be filmed so that means they have other footage besides cctv.
Carrington saying he tried to reach out but raven saying she was the one who reached out MULTIPLE TIMES AND EVEN TRIED TO TALK IN PERSON TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED!?
SHE AINT EVEN ACCUSE THEM OF SHIT FR ALL SHE DID WAS ASK FOR FOOTAGE SO SHE COULD PEICE TOGETHER HER NIGHT CUZ SHE WAS SO FUCKED UP SHE COULDNT REMEMBER AND THEY COULDNT EVEN GIVE HER THAT!
IDC ITS FUCK JAKE AND CARRINGTON! JOHNNIE SEEMS TO BE OK FOR NOW BUT IM KEEPING AN EYE OUT ON HIM! AND TARA!
CUZ PEOPLE TRYNNA SAY DONT BRING TARA INTO THIS BUT SHE ALWAYS AT THEM PARTIES AND THIS HAPPENED IN OCTOBER! SHE HANGS OUT WITH THESE BOYS 24/7 ! SHE KNOW SOMETHING!
JAKE AND CARRINGTON HAVE TO KNOW WTF HAPPENED AND THEY COVERING IT!
AND WHILE WE AT IT, LEAVE @pinksturns TF ALONE! THEY AINT DO SHIT WRONG! THEY DOING THE RIGHT THING BY BELIEVING THE VICTIM AND I CAN ONLY APPLAUD THEM FOR THAT! STOP SENDING HATE CUZ YOUR LIL INFLUENCER CRUSHES ARE BEING SOME WEIRD ASS LOSERS!
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i keep thinking about them in terms of for and against each other: thirteen's against, twelve's for, eleven i think would be against, ten's for, and i haven't watched anything before him (yeah ikk im getting to it soon. watched it w my parents the first time so its on them) so i can't speak beyond that. dhawan's against, missy's for, and simm's against. like they've all got at least a little of both but they have a general direction
twissy worked out because they both cared about each other. missy came to help the doctor when he thought he was going to die, the doctor... locked her up, but he did have good intentions. i dont think we can say spydoc worked out, but i think since they both hated each other it went smoother than it could have. and tensimm was fucking doomed (neither of them want the same thing. they want each other to be different people)
twelvesimm, which was overshadowed by twissy but still deserves a mention, i think is similar to tensimm but with time could have had a higher chance of success, since 12, i think, might have responded more to him rather than trying to push him into someone who wanted to be better. tbh it might depend on the doctor's mood that day, im a little uncertain about this one but at the very least its a vaguely more functional tensimm
thrissy would break me. thrissy would be the anti-tensimm. missy shows up, still an enemy but also always, willingly and knowingly, a friend, and this time it's the doctor who says no. who tells her to fuck off, less distrust than expected and more loathing. they fight until missy realises it's not their usual games, and the doctor's gone too far stopping her. i mean come on her master tried to have her and her companions killed but it's not like he actually did it-- but she turned him over to the fucking nazis before she even knew he destroyed gallifrey, and missy killed osgood just after the doctor offered to have her as a companion, how would 13 take that?
11missy (elmissy? elemissy? mileven? no.) would run similarly, but if we're going with her using her same plan that she used on 12... he would take the army. he would take the army, however little he trusted her. i can see it going a few ways-- she leaves or he kills her or he locks her up somewhere because he's the doctor and she's the master and that's what he does, she comes back and suggests conquering the universe together or something, he says no and they fight, he says yes because he excuses murder if it aligns with what he wants, or if he likes the person enough (look at who he married!!) and they murder across the universe and we have canon thoschei until a companion saves the universe from them or river gets jealous
11dhawan would be AMAZING they have VERY similar energy and it would be SO much fun but also-- parallels? you could do so many little parallels with that? we see them spin the same way at the same time and they hate each other but one comments on something walking down a hallway and the other comes by and says the same thing and ughhh who do i pay to make this happen??
12dhawan has a special place in my hearts and i cant completely say why i just need them to meet. i need to be there when the master shows the doctor the timeless child and he cant accept it. idk if he'd be able to go the "there's more of me!" way out that 13 did, but he might be able to half do it, in that he realises he can overload the system but they break out of there through spite. i need to be there when the doctor says that ofc burning gallifrey is wrong, but he sides with the master. they lied to us. they lied to both of us. i need to see the master's anger, because he's being forgiven again. but he's not forgiving him, it's more that he understands, or like what he said to clara-- do you really think i care for you so little that betraying me could make a difference?-- and the master doesn't know what to do with that. he is so close to being better. but he doesn't want to be. so he burns himself up
10missy would work BUT i think 10 might take the army and theyd be less functional than twissy
I FORGOT THE ONES AFTER 13 skipping 14 bc he blurs into 10 for me even though they're different, but 15 would be for and he and missy would both hurtle into "this is MY queer friends to enemies to whatever the fuck we are and i can be as weird and dramatic about it as i like" not only are they both for but they're both on the exact same level as to what their relationship is and they're so fucking weird about it it's brilliant. varies a bit depending on who missy kills but i think there's a lot of chaotic potential there
but also if the master starts being too dramatic he would just tell them to shut up. which would also be brilliant
ANYWAY if anybody writes about any of these versions PLEASE tag me i need to read about them. pigeonentity on here and ao3. please
to me thoschei is one of those dress up games where i get to mix and match different items of clothing (versions of the doctor and the master) to create stunning outfits (tragic relationship dynamics)
#tw nazi mention#doctor who#dr who#dw the master#the master#the doctor#tenth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#thirteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#missy#missy dr who#missy dw#simm!master#dhawan!master#spy!master#spydoc#twissy#tensimm#elevensimm#twelvesimm#11dhawan#12dwahan#thrissy#10missy#11missy#15missy#thoschei#save
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TELL US ALL OF YOUR ORV THOUGHTS MY HSY BRAINROT IS SO BAD I LOVE HER SO MUCH
TY FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RANT ABOUT ORV OMG
if any pjsk followers of mine reading this dont know orv its a series called omniscient reader's viewpoint!
i highly recommend reading the webtoon first for visualization but definitely read the novel starting from the chapter 180s (theres . like 551 chapters it took me months to finish but it took my older sibling like 3 weeks so it depends how insane u are /lh)
def recommend it if youre a huge fan of found family dynamics mweheheh and also mythology . its like a heart wrenching story disguised as a BL
gonna get into spoilers from the novel so heres ur warning !
anyway u said all my thoughts. so here we go
hsy oughhhh i love her sm shes more than just 'girlboss' i think shes more girlfailure cuz how do u manage to plagiarize ur own work smh /j
YOOHANKIM DYNAMIC MAKE ME ILL like the author cant exist without a reader . but the story also cant exist without an author . but you cant read anything if theres no author to create that story yk like THEYRE ALL TIED TOGETHER ITS AGHHH
during the previous ask i mentioned how orv handles platonic love and im still super happy how its portrayed esp kdj and ysa ... ik alot of ppl ship them romantically and/or often make them exes or such
but ive read rly good kdj x ysa platonic soulmate fics and OUGHH MY GOSHHH it made me go crazy cuz they care about e/o sooooso much
like how that one scene where kdj randomly traumadumps on her and as a defense mechanism he goes haha . just kidding XD ! but then ysa just . quietly holds his hand and shuts him up
bc ysa will never understand what hes gone thru but she can and will listen/support him when he needs it yk theres no words that need to be said shes holding his hand as kind of an anchor like 'hey ik u said u were joking but ik ur not and thats ok'
jung heewon too oughhhh when she goes "this is no salvation" I WENT BONKERSSS kdj stop hurting your companions!! u want them happy but u deserve it too!!!!!! shaking his shoulders YOURE KINDER THAN YOU THINK THE STORY YOUVE LOVED FOR YEARS AND KEPT YOU ALIVE LOVES U BACK KDJ AUGHH
i love the fact that 98% of the novel is in first pov of kdj and the fact that hes an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator . like i usually dont like first pov but orv does it well
esp when all of a sudden during the epilogue it started being third pov when kdj split into the 49% and 51% IT GAVE A RLY GOOD SENSE OF "wtf is happening . something is wrong" it rlly gives us readers the same feeling the characters have like uhmmm kdj ur ok now rigjt. right! i remember feeling so confused and uncomfortable at the sudden third pov ITS SO CLEVER
can i just also say i absolutely hate the live action . orv is meant to be consumed as a novel LIKE OF *ALL* POPULAR WEBTOONS TO ADAPT ITS THE ONE THAT WOULDNT WORK AS LIVE cashgrab ass scheme smh
i also hate and admire the fact that anyone who has finished orv is a kdj fragment . i hate how anyone who finished the entire novel kins kdj in some sort of way . like when i kin pjsk characters for example im just like haha i relate #relatable but when it comes to kdj . hes just so uncomfortably relatable for me like i need to put him under a hydraulic press
"you who reads this will survive" ITS SOOO CLEVERR its addressing kdj and YOU! the whole theme of the novel is just so . personal lowkey so when the live action got announced and some annoying ass mfs were making fun of orv fans for being upset i wanted to rip my hair out THE STORY IS FOR US kdj himself would be rolling in his grave at the disrespect for a webnovel fr
#asks#sry for the use of colors all of a sudden#wanted to make it easier to read#im normal about orv!!
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I had a thought about Zoobles behavior/actions in the adventure-announcement scene in episode 4, and now everyone has to hear about it.
After Zooble hears about what happened during the Mildenhall adventure, they are quick to RIGHTFULLY be like “what the fuck” for several reasons. “WHY?? Why on EARTH did you think id like that? Why did you think ANYONE would?? What's wrong with you??? STOP????”
But... Zooble has also just recently seen what happens when you criticize Caines adventures, (through the therapy session) and are now faced with the looming threat of his fragile ego. Because of that, they try and take all of those thoughts, and that experience, and find some diplomatic way to phrase their feelings on the matter. That's what I think this face is- both taking in what was said, but also thinking of how the hell to respond to that after knowing what might happen as a result of speaking their unfiltered thoughts.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/911190a120c7d17ceb192f893c666222/a047e7d86949ce52-9d/s540x810/4b98952bfceaee4375f3619bdd915ec6c7c17d6d.jpg)
And then the way they try to get out of this adventure specifically- IM OBSESSED.
Despite everything, they're not going to accept this, not just gonna submit to the whims of this guy all because he’s so insistent on adventures being so important. Zooble still think they can realistically get out of it. In ep 2 they straight up just say “no.” And in ep 3 they just dont show up 😭 all very BLUNT ways of avoiding. Even in ep 1 theyre like “AUGH, NO!!!” at the prospect of an unavoidable adventure.
But this time, they're all casual like “welp… alr! see ya guys.” trying to slink away before Caine resists. And when he does, Zooble immediately bites back in their usual blunt manner, after their attempts to say no in a polite-indirect way falls on deaf ears. Its like theyre saying “Look- I tried to be nice about it, guy.”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4e51e265451289e7cd9c29f049ee47ef/a047e7d86949ce52-bd/s540x810/637194ddc970fd5278076d7ee1b4586c1c25b582.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f0131e833e6aae5d89dd8fd4106a2bf2/a047e7d86949ce52-91/s540x810/b83af12d5835702b46b5bc5fb57d9964a437d04c.jpg)
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And then when Kinger makes it look like Zooble will ACTUALLY have to go on the adventure this time, they look completely exasperated, and get way more elevated, losing any amount of tact they tried to have before, calling the adventures stupid again.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f45ae683a441dd47f62d6d7d57af9986/a047e7d86949ce52-25/s540x810/622f31e2f71c8e594da455c59c8f609275616b5d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cbf5d5dcaa2b70fd2485af6d93506348/a047e7d86949ce52-d6/s540x810/7c5b934298170488899556618cb1a696cf0e2083.jpg)
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This is when we, the audience, and Zooble, the character, see Caine has somewhat lost his patience- He wont let them skip any more adventures, because he has the power to make them. To make them do whatever he wants. And the only thing holding him back is the fact that he likes them
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/45b9705890ddaa4327275130ad140c57/a047e7d86949ce52-a8/s540x810/9b098a43c9a646b7c7d9ef15a0b5d4d840ce40d7.jpg)
it seems like before this, Zooble had planned on just being more careful with Caine and his adventures, but still of course had no plans to give up. NOW however…..
I feel like this episode was a "last ditch effort" on their part. It wouldn't have made sense for them to give up before, since they do seem fairly stubborn. But after this, it seems like something has clicked in their mind, shown by their conversation with Jax
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/65a0181d293dfc03c3aa496649160bfc/a047e7d86949ce52-72/s540x810/53817ccb54947934d58ce1c03f6584ec988e0af3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/95e2cec6e9b9058f3644b442b9140b36/a047e7d86949ce52-56/s540x810/da2b517ee39cedf7281759aa1641ebb737dc62e9.jpg)
Well, we’ll see next episode!!!
#Zooble might be my second favorite character#IDK THEYRE ALL SO AMAZING I LOVE THEM SM#Caines just sitting on his 1st place throne though#no ones touching him#also Jax isnt even trying IM SORRY I DONT CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM#I like him im just not completely facinated with him the way I am everyone else#TADC#TADC Yap#The amazing digital circus#The amazing digital circus analysis#hello welcome to my blog#I yap about 3 second scenes that may or may not mean any amount of the purpose I put in them#with gooseworx n toby fox though you can never tell#gotta stay on your toes#either way I love finding meaning in stuff no matter what the creator says :D#art analysis my beloved#thank you for your time
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can we talk about how emotionally draining it is to be a teenager who's never experienced romantic love? and i dont think people realize that when i say never, i mean never. i've never dated, never had a "talking stage," no one's had a crush on me, no one's ever asked for my number, no one's ever complimented me in that way, no one's ever even looked at me in a way that would remotely imply interest. and honestly it hurts. you see all the people around you experience this and just sit on the sidelines. it's more than just "oh no im single im jealous :(" it genuinely turns into a feeling of what am i doing wrong what did i miss why is everyone experiencing these things that i thought only happened in movies. it's not fair. and i know at the end of the day it's okay, you don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend in high school. i know that. just because i can't find a date to the prom doesn't mean i'm gonna be single forever. but it does mean that i must be doing something wrong to have never experienced anything remotely close to romance. the first time i ever "held hands" with a guy was in 9th grade when we had our swing dancing unit in pe. and the thing is that i've also never had a crush. in the 4th grade i convinced myself i liked someone because my friends kept asking who i had a crush on. i didn't actually like him. in 8th grade i convinced myself i liked someone because my mom kept asking who i had a crush on. i didn't actually like him. any "crushes" i've had i realize now are just aesthetic attraction. so im having my first crush now, in high school, and i don't know what to do. my friends are telling me "oh you should tell him you like him you should ask him out" but the problem is i literally don't know how. i've never experienced this. to me, asking someone out is what you do in a tv show. people don't actually do that... right? it just feels so weird. i can tell him i like him, but how? and when? what words do i use? what if he says he doesn't feel the same? what if i make it awkward? i don't know how to "shoot my shot" because i've never had a chance to shoot one before. i'm going into this blind and it's scary and very confusing after my entire life being nothing. i've convinced myself that no boy or girl at my school would like me in that way, so that's why i don't want to confess. if no one has ever liked me before, why would he be any different? ugh i just feel like never having any romantic experience whatsoever is very isolating and i feel like im falling behind and i don't know what im supposed to do or what i'm doing wrong.
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I hope you dont mind my addition, but ive also been struggling with this. My research in how to handle feeling bad no matter what you do has yielded the very loud advice of "have you tried just feeling your feelings instead of trying to solve them?" Which is annoying and sounds frustrating as fuck but i can't deny it makes some intuitive sense.
If bad feelings are the way your body tells you something is wrong, like a check engine signal, step one might be to just tap into that feeling and figure out what its telling you, which might be a different answer to how to solve it. Sometimes that signal (read: feeling bad) might just be saying "youre not listening to me" in which case doing that "tapping in" might solve the problem on its own.
The frustrating bit about this advice is that its not a solution to feeling bad. Its just a step toward being okay with feeling bad and being able to live with the understanding that bad feelings are gonna happen no matter what, and it's a fool's errand to try and live a life with no suffering whatsoever. That sucks, and it sucks that that seems to be the most supported technique.
What i will say has worked for me is knowing that im stronger than my feelings, and i'll outlive them, so maybe that's helpful.
idk how to say this...at what point does trying to keep a positive attitude, focus on the good things, and not make negative predictions about the future turn into willfully ignoring red flags about the situation I'm in.
feels like im in a white knuckled game of whack a mole trying to eat the right way, sleep the right way, enrich myself the right way so I don't feel like death, and when I feel like death anyway I'm like "oh! maybe I need to drink more water/go outside more/etc etc" and so I do that but i still spend most of the time either feeling absolutely miserable or "trying to focus on the positive" so I don't summon the feeling miserable.
i don't really know how I feel because i feel like I have to purposefully think about good things and be positive or I will start feeling bad again. But the problem is then the bad seems to explode out of nowhere.
I've learned these lessons before but...idk. i can't face up to them right now
#sorry for the essay#i went into psychology partially to solve this problem#so you can imagine my frustration when the answer i got was 'you cant and shouldnt really try to'#psychology
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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#iirc the datv embargo lifts in a few hours time#its exciting for sure!! ◕‿◕#(theres some good info out there about what u can expect etc)#everyones level of comfort/preference for spoilers or what they consider/dont consider spoilers or do/dont want to see beforehand#is different and thats valid#for me rn my pref is not seeing much more of the game than i have so far so i will probably not be watching/reading most of those bits of#coverage which are described as 'spoilery' due to this#im just at a stage personally where in the main the last thing I'd like to see now is just a good look at the CC and the CC options#and then just any of the more 'generic' stuff like any new official screenshots that get tweeted or if theres one more trailer or something#(know what i mean? maybe generic is the wrong word but like vague or general or something). and thats about it#so if i'm quieter on here or not postin about sth new that you've seen or focusing more on less-new stuff like V&V eps i didnt get a chance#to listen to yet or i dont know the answer to something etc thats why ^^#i've turned off asks and submit as well jic#sry for any inconvenience caused by that and for not following/posting everything in the coming weeks hh!!#its like a push and pull between wanting to be hyped with everyone/overanalyze every new crumb/wanting my blog to be useful and#not wanting to know much more about the game besides CC than i do atm hh#ultimately we will only get to go into this game and play this game for for the first time once so yea :D#(and in case it helps to know for your own curation purposes my datv spoilers tag is 'dragon age the veilguard spoilers'!!)#mj and the world
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Got my hands on a Ultra Analysis BNHA book from a library
Some points I liked (I focused more on 1B since they don't get a lot of attention)
1B once had a Tetsutetsu BBQ. They heated him up and cooked food on him. He proceeds to ruin it when he declares his sweat is the salt to their food
Yui is canonically the prettiest first-year
Mineta has no sex appeal at all, but he thinks being a hero will make him lucky
Class B does respect Monoma. He's sharp-minded, witty, and has a way with words
Monoma sometimes wanders into 1A's dorm just to throw down a mean speech, and heads back to 1B
Juzo probably isn't helping Monoma's confrontations with 1A, since he just always asks him why he can't say it to their faces whenever Monoma complains about them
Shiozaki tries to be polite even in a fight
Pony hosts anime parties, so 1B knows a lot about anime. Vice-versa, they teach her Japanese, and everything nasty is Monoma's fault
Tokage was a gyaru
Tsuburuaba, Kaibara, and Kuroiro get worked up whenever they talk about girls
Manga likes Kenranzaki
Awase's family runs a small factory. He also restrains Monoma whenever Kendo isn't available
1B likes hearing Rin say "Aiyah", so he does it for them
Kamakiri is obsessed with cutting into things
Class B's play was really successful
Tamaki is scared of Kirishima's energy
1C was planning a send-off party for Shinsou for his upcoming hero transfer. They didn't doubt he would make it, ever since the Sports Festival
Shishikura (meatball Shiketsu boy) might've chosen Shiketsu because he likes the uniform's hat
Nakagame and Yo are dating
Tsuyu's family gets to spend a lot of time together now, since their parents' busy jobs have calmed down
Tsubasa (devil wing kid in Midoriya's memories) suspiciously lost touch with Midoriya and Bakugo in middle school (his Wiki page confirms Garaki - his grandfather - turned him into a Nomu)
Torino likes goofy gags. This rubs off on All Might (ex. when Midoriya thought he died when Torino fell with ketchup. People don't know whether to laugh or be concerned)
Nighteye has yellow streaks in his hair as a homage to All Might
Nezu likes worming into tight, dark places, so he likes Aizawa's scarf. They went into detail, describing why Nezu likes it, such as material to crawling in, etc.
Recovery Girl has to travel around Japan regularly to help people with her Quirk (as in, she uses her Quirk to help them. Healing Quirks are SO rare)
Hojo, Tabe, and Sestuno are kept in the same jail, so at least they're not separated
#wish i had vestiges other than nana but even she isnt a lot of info here#since the book ends with villains from the overhaul arc i think thats where the series was when the book published#im not doing the math but the book was 2019#also i am not tagging all these characters. thats gonna throw the limit on the floor and give me nothing to work with#1b#class 1b#1-b#class 1-b#spoilers#boku no hero academia#bnha#my hero academia#mha#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#ultra analysis book#a limit of 30 tags and 1b alone is 20 ppl? no thank u#recovery girl's Quirk is actually the ideal typical heal ability you see on fantasy series#magically heal cuts and wounds? in a quirk-way we need a way to explain it#and recovery girl's quirk is the best way to explain it: she speeds up a body's healing process#thats just what happens when u use healing magic or something in a TV show#this was my explanation for why a pokemon cant use healing moves on broken bones (HC stuff for a fanfic) before i made the connection about#recovery girl being ideal in her quirk#because if u use it on a bone to speed up the healing. it might heal incorrectly or beclme cancerous instead#so recovery girl is just “natural healing of the body” rather than “i speed up ur bodys natural stuff”#so ur cells dont multiply so fast and wrong that u now have a tumor or cancer#do i know if these points are in their wiki pages? no. honestly im not going through their pages i just think these are interesting facts#neito monoma#hitoshi shinsou#yui kodai (yup tag limit immediately)
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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I'm proud to say I don't think Luo Binghe would like to eat his boyfriends pussy. He'll do it but bitch he's not here for that. For 1 Binghe is absolutely the kind of guy who wants to see the whole body come undone not just have Shen Yuan tug on his hair. 2 the man's favorite places to kiss are things like forehead, hands, cheeks, he's a foreplay from the waist up man.
He'd fingerblast to next year granted but Shizun asks for a kiss and a downstairs buffet he says yes but in his head he's thinking about how much he just wants to massage and bite that man's shoulders/chest and touch every part of his skin till they're the same person. He needs to use his hands and teeth simultaneously and not doing so is bad for his health. Man can't dine on pussy alone. Shizun let me fingerblast you from the front while taking you from behind while I cradle you in my arms and scream how you love me!!!!! Shizun plssssssss!!!!
#svsss#svsss shitpost#scumbag system#bingqiu#90% a joke#and 10% ive yet to read a fanfic that convices me on that specific element#some men dont eat pussy#not because they hate women.#but because they branched on a different path on the skill tree and thats ok#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#sqq#luo binghe#i should mention that this applies more specifically to bingmei#bingge eats pussy as like the occasional treat#he likes it#thinks its great#but in my opinion hes like dissociating while muching down on the clambake#hes feeling it but hes not FEELING IT#what im saying is you should write a fic where SQQ knows something is wrong because his husband is way to enthuastic for oral#and usually thats HIS thing#im just saying realizing your husband is replaced by his evil alternate universe twin because hes doing good at sex is one thing#not realizing because theres no way hed ask on his own to eat you out like youre the#spread a golden corral on half price day is another
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Being a ghost fan is insane to me because you can be like "wow this song fits my favorite character so much!!" And it's because said song is literally foreshadowing. And showing internal thoughts. And also said favorite character is fucking singing it
This is about witch image
#“ghost songs dont have lore relevance” -me when im wrong#i know this is how musicals work but it hits different here to me#something about it being a regular ass band then you look deeper and its like#what do you mean this song from 2018 has foreshadowing for something that happened literally last year#insane behavior#the band ghost#ghonst#ghost the band#cardinal copia#papa emeritus iv#copia emeritus#this is abt him
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you are expendable, you are not expected to return
#i know i said id try to keep pressure stuff in containment but this is more of a vent piece than pressure fanart#and it felt wrong posting it on the side blog since thats really more of a fandom space than a soap space#kinda need the catharsis of strangers knowin whats goin on with me bc ive been kind of MIA on all platforms in terms of new 3D art..#i had something really insane happen that was a major permanent change to my life in september/august (cant talk about it) and#i havent really been handling it well at all#pressures been like the sole thing thats kind of keeping me above water mentally#but simultaneously like the level of obsession im at is insanely unhealthy it is ruining everything else in my life. but i just dont know#what else i can really do to stay sane. log on roblox think about my gay fishes and then go to bed#normally i try to ride out little mental health bumps like these and get back to work but its been like 3 months now and#im still struggling to be able to focus on client work. i can take it easy on myself just fine but i really dont want to let clients down#anyways thats whats been going on with me if anyones noticed the absence#soap talks#my art#roblox pressure#hopefully that doesnt put it in the main tags i try to tag fandoms so ppl are able to block them#raine
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i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for 🙏🏻 i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️ it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him
also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together 💪🏻💪🏻
also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something 😭😭😭 (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scared😤😤 when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)
N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.
he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.
BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.
i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!
Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.
He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!
if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......
#noritoshi#noritoshi x reader#kamo noritoshi#kamo noritoshi x reader#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi kamo x reader#merry october#sO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE AGAIN WDYM OCTOBERS ALMOST OVER FUKC SO THESE OCTOBER POSTS WILL LEAK INTO NOVEMBER. AHA.#FAM I WAS SPITBALLIN SO HARD W THE WRITING BUT FUCK IT OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT#ty back for the cat noritoshi idea btw. ill love you forever#the way i fell off my chair and scrambled to read the rest of this ask was insane. friendship.? im so awkward but i'll be here for u homie#i love noritoshi headcanons..#i eat them up like candy...#.... my cult member is moving up the unspoken ranks i made up while making this cult.....#as for ino and kashimo. i dont know much about them.#but i like the bits i do know! i like ino's energy.... he reminds me of an excitable puppy from what ive seen..#i may draw more characters if i grow obsessed. i mean infatuated. or if they make noritoshi look good.#or if you do a damn good job at convincing me#but unfortunately. i was persuaded into a blood pact with my second in command to wait for the anime to finish then watch it with him then.#back to nori though. we are definitely together in this. i fucking understand the drought. pinterest keeps giving me geto#and yes. hes good too. BUT NOT THE MEOW MEOW I'M SCAVANGING FOR#THATS NOT MY STUCK UP BABYGIRL WHO'D SCOWL AT ME FOR PRONOUNCING WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE WRONG....#btw peep the orange for pumpkins or something#happy halloween my awesome cult#null rot
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