#i dont know man. i get its not a big deal

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[thylacid]

Queerplatonic relationships are not bad. I do not think queerplatonic relationships are Bad and Shouldnt happen -- ive been in qprs myself in the past, however I think when a character turns to the camera and says "I dont want to be in a relationship, the concept of it grosses me out" and then the rest of the story goes lengths to show just how important platonic love is, something that is very rare in media and something that Needs to be said and portrayed more, it just rubs me the wrong way to then see that character shipped. idk. this is once again just my take as an aromantic

[moonstruckdraws]

Vera. Vera! VERA!!

yeah yes okay, hello. I must ramble, please & thank you. I love this. Helli those head references worked like a dream because my stars do I love these sketches.

okok, there's not much content & info about Vera, but it's enough to work with & for me to make theories & headcanons for. And while Helli is resting, I am making it my personal mission to make content of my now favorite oc of Helli's.

I've always loved her when I first stumbled upon her when browsing through older post you've made. I don't say gorgeous often because I use it to describe something in the highest regard & man is Vera FRICKEN GORGEOUS! STARS

So Vera is a therapist (dog) & also one of Big Mama's exes. Vera learns that Big Mama was using her to gain information on her clients. We don't know how she found out of her reaction, but I do know she likes ball dancing. Since Big Mama also dances & hosts parties, I'd imagine she & Vera would dress up for the occasion. Maybe Vera was looking for Big Mama during a party & overhears her true intentions. I don't know how Vera would react (like if she's more of the shocked type, crying while running away type, etc) so I went with bitter frustration after crying for maybe 10 minutes.

In this image, it shows her after the fact, deciding to be bitter for the rest of the night. She avoids Big Mama as much as possible, eventually winding down in a more secluded part of the hotel with some wine. Spilling it on the furniture.

I just wanted to draw her in these dresses I have saved in pinterest lol. Maybe a previous dress she wore on a date with Big Mama? idk. Or maybe the first nicer dress she's worn since learning the truth. She doesn't strike me as the type to go out partying her sorrows away, maybe the night bars she goes to sometimes, but no place that required her to dress nicely. (Also Vera is just stunning in all colors. I didn't even mean to use the color of the dresses to imply emotions lmao, but it happened. She's so cute!!)

Drew something to fill up the page, as you do, & thought of her job as a therapist. And like most office spaces, has a receptionist. And yes, her name is Karen & is indeed one. She's so much of a headache that Vera would need to get to work early to avoid passing her at the front desk. She already has to deal with her while leaving, she doesn't need it at the start of the day.

I adore her, I love her, I love her greatly, she's usurped the rest by miles & I mean MILES. Thank you dear Helli for the head references, I can draw her now. I will draw her until my hands break. I am her biggest fan, no contest, & will challenge those who claim the first title I've ever clamed lmao. If there's no content of her, I'll be the one to make it. STARS SHE'S FUCKING GORGEOUS

[arsenicflame]

since we all appear to be talking about izzy 'calling the police' on stede id like to offer my silly little two cents:

its not like the navy wasn't actively looking for him anyway??????

at most, izzys actions sped up badminton catching up with stede, but its made very clear that badminton wanted Stede dead well before this, and was willing to use whatever he could to find him- whos to say jackie wouldnt have cut a deal on her own? that any other pirate thats seen them being unsubtle in a port wouldn't take the opportunity to make a quick buck over a guy who is Nobody and holds no influence that could lead to any consequences for them?

in reality izzy is probably the only person who would receive negative repercussions to selling out stede, given his personal connection with ed- any other pirate would probably have gotten away unscathed, anonymous. they likely wouldnt have even been present like izzy was. izzy had personal stakes, anyone else would have taken the money and ran

the way i see it, with or without izzy the events of episode 10 probably would have happened in some degree, izzy just expedited the timeline

[faunandfloraas]

i saw ur tags earlier and i have, a controversial take for all the stays out there, but. i'll be honest i don't like LVs designs and i feel like they have Not #slayed with a lot of the styles they've put lix in

Me reading this

[mummer]

now that i have been dating a girl for like 4 months im starting to get into situations where i do need to communicate that fact to like my parents and my coworkers but i still dont want to and am guarded about it in needlessly convoluted ways even though. i dont need to ❤️ like every time theres an opportunity to tell my mom im like noooooo….. i dont want to….. even though she would be So happy for me and there would be 0 problems. why am i doing that???? no one in my family or life is homophobic or anything like nothing bad would even happen!!! i was thinking about it watching all of us strangers and american fiction because they both have plotlines where gay people wish they couldve told their parents and regret not doing it. And its like well yes. but also. Idk why it still feels weird and scary for no reason then.

[trans-estinien]

i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.

[scamoosh]

this is gonna sound whiny but nonbinary ppl can immediately tell when u just see them as their agab jsyk👍 its just frustrating 2 b surrounded by other queer ppl and even in those communities without fail if i make any comment abt period cramps or having worked in childcare or shit like that theres an Immediate shift to like oh okay ur actually a Girl got it . like . there was anothr nonbinary person i used 2 kno who had zero problem using the right pronouns for me until they heard how high my voice was on a call once ☠️

[arolegos]

how the motherfuckers in college feel after giving you info LAST FUCKING MINUTE. DO THEY WANT ME TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF I SWEAR TO GODDDDDDDD

[violet-blaze]

Always fucked me up so bad that those aren't shoes... those are sonic's feet. His feet just look like that I guess!!! Thanks SEGA I hate it!!!!!

[zhalar]

hate that i have to come out. i hate that!!! i hate that if i want to experience a modicum of gender peace for these upcoming two years i have to tell my new teachers that im nonbinary and would like to use [this name] even though none of my official papers have it on them, and probably wont, cuz its not A Name that i can confidently believe will pass the naming convention.. laws... of this country. I HATE THAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PLEAD MY CASE AND EXPLAIN MYSELF. im trying to construct this message that i’ve got no idea will even be read or noted just to have it in my student record somewhere that “hey im SOOOO sorry but if its not a problem to you i would love to feel like a human person even on a name-basis during my studies and im MORE than fine to be otherwise (mis)gendered as long as its not a problem to YOUUUUU also i know that my legal name is literally on show in every school email and profile so whatever i say here matters none cause everyone will only see that clearly gendered name and not give a flying fuck about this “”nickname”” im trying to get going since its not my LEEEGAAALL name but thats also so fine with me if i could Just get the clear to sign my emails and whatsapp messages with my preferred name thankyouuu :)” 

sorry im always complaining here it gets ANNOYING. im mostly trying to get my own brain straight about this matter. uhggh BUT ITS SO AWKWARD TO WRITE THAT MESSAGE. i dont want to explain myself but i also dont! want! to make a scene!!!! im so pissed off at myself for not opening my DAMN MOUTH when the group-wide introductions happened this week. shoulda just bit the bullet and said ive got [this] name in official papers but would prefer to be called särmä. literally could feel the nerve escaping my body when it came to my turn. fucking hell

(EDIT ive calmed down. i didnt send the message fuck this noise, im just gonna hope that i’ll get it out face to face this next week [biting through glass])

[gauntghoul]

everyone being like oooo aaauughhh kaeyas a khaenri'ah spy woooaahhhh. but like everytime we learn more indeptg lore abt him its lit just yeah i lit have no knowledge abt that place at all. shrugs. and now ive lived in mond for so long idrc

[abyssalpriest]

if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up

[carcarrot]

alright we're okay. it's all going to work out and happen. ive got my short film idea. i just have to make it absolutely perfect and then we're good to go

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

[mrfoox]

except that im mentally dead, i’m good