"It's more than something. It's everything."
s8e11 "Life Time"
painted screenshot. cannot give a time estimate, i lost track long ago. still gouache brush, my beloved, with blur tools to fade edges and so on
i have to go to the zoo now and will be making the version with the clock later [i cannot express how long ive been battling with hawkeye's face, gamers]. background went very fast like i said it would lol
version 2 [as in, w/ clock] will probably be done later today, and i will edit this and add it when that happens [and prolly make a separate post too, for celebration purposes, and will link them]. i will also compile progress pics for that post. they are terrifying early on lmao
"A lot of very touching songs came outta that war" previous painting
"It was pink, and perfect, and I tossed it in the scrap bucket" previous painting
everyone say thank you to bj to being a perfect painting subject today he was very polite and he looks about how i wanted unlike SOME PEOPLE
that was me to my sibling last night, and i stayed up til 1:10ish and still didnt finish the final pass over hawkeye's eye. everything else took like 5ish minutes
also everyone say thank you to margaret and nurse kellye for also being perfect and lovely and pleasant to work with
photo used blatantly stolen from this post thank you again @remyfire i owe you my life
update edit;
clock back
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I've been thinking about names re: durges (and especially Corentin)
I haven't really liked the whole "this character's name is The Dark Urge" because it's honestly...silly to me? A bit? But I saw someone else discussing their durge's backstory today and it got me thinking about the function of names a bit more.
Naming someone "The Dark Urge" is super dehumanizing. And, like, that's the point, of course. But Corentin, even at their most compliant, was always trying to eek out some semblance of individuality or control or rebellion. They were kidnapped brought to the Bhaalists at 15, after all. Even with the cult's (and Bhaal's) efforts, it's difficult to completely rewire someone who's nearly a grown adult, especially one who's fighting it kicking and screaming most of the time.
So while they lose their memories of their family due to the constant trauma, they do manage to hold on to some things. Their refusal to eat bog body stays the entire time, as does their insistence on maintaining a hair care routine (which is when they start braiding Orin's hair, too). But after they break, other aspects of cleanliness they'd managed to hold onto until that point fall to the wayside, and they stop resisting when Savorak, and Fel, and the Bhaalists call them "The Dark Urge" instead of their name. Orin still calls them Corentin for a little bit, but she stops eventually too as she gets more and more restless and insistent on gaining power.
And then they meet Gortash who, despite also being a horrible person, isn't as bad as the people Corentin had been forced to lead. At this point they know what the likely ending of the Absolutist plot is going to be (though they're still in the early stages of the plan) but being able to work so closely with someone who's sincere and, more importantly, isn't going to stab them the moment they turn their back to him, is like breathing in fresh air for the first time in a decade or more (both figuratively and literally). And they dare to hope that there's an actual, true way out of the hell they'd been living in.
So when Gortash eventually asks if The Dark Urge is really their name, they tell him no.
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I FORGOT I EVEN SENT THAT ASK AND YOUR RESPONSE HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK OHMSYGODDFJDJ
I seriously love your writing so much you always put a heap of emotion into it 😭😭
also adore the idea of TIM being the one who's obsessed with bear and going to such lengths just to keep seeing him, I tend to prefer happy endings so I like to think they work it out after a while but like also the angst is amazing
god the amount of yearning in this au makes me so mmmpfhhhf
god im just so sorry that it took me soo long to reply!!! you sent just as i was taking my break from tumblr and other social media :(((
i remember reading it and thinking to myself "god if i had the timbern brainworms, i could write smth for this" but then recently they've been coming back and i was a church bored out of my mind when i was like "hmmm maybe i should respond?"
and ohhh my god, when i first got it, i immediately thought about how toxic it could get and like, personally, i feel like i can't write complicated characters? if that makes sense? to me, im not very good at writing multi-dimensional characters. which to be fair, i never set out to become like a pulitzer prize winning author. i just do this for fun haha.
and like i knew that my answer to your ask was always gonna be toxic timbern but i didn't know if i could write it? ig??? bc like tim is a good person. he is!!! he just wants bear so badly. and it's past the initial physical attraction now.
he and bear are all grown up. he likes bear's wit and humor, well the wit and humor he gets to hear when bear doesn't know he's around. but bear wont let him in!!!! bear wont open himself up and tim's apologized!!!! he did!!! he doesn't even know what he did and he still apologized!!!!! and it changed nothing. bear doesn't talk to him or look at him or anything. nothing but polite professionalism.
and then one day, he sees bear on his balcony as he's swinging through the streets of gotham. and bear isn't doing anything special, he's just sitting there in sweats and no shirt and the moonlight hits his pecs just right and his shoulders are so broad and-
well he cant be blamed for stopping to take a peek, right? and maybe when he has has time he swings by more and more. just watching for longer and longer, until one day bear catches him. and as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the street, tim thinks this is it. the cold glances and frosty words are going to come back. bear's never gonna just sit on his balcony again. he's lost this too. but then-
oh.
bear sends him a hesitant wave and tim raises a trembling hand to wave back. and bear- well bear's mouth splits into a smile brilliant enough to rival the sun. beautiful like the sunrise. the promise of a new beginning. if he closes his eyes, tim thinks he can feel the sunlight's warm rays on him.
hes' hooked after that. he comes around again and again. one day bear lets him on the balcony. weeks later, bear's hugging him. weeks after that, tim's in bear's lap. and he knows it's not right. that bear thinks he's someone else. that bear doesnt want anything to do with him but how is he supposed to let this go? how is he supposed disentangle himself from bear's arms?
so he lies and he lies and he prays to any and every god he can think of, that he'll get to keep this. plus he's not really lying to bear, he's just... not talking about it! if bear asks, he'll tell him point blank. he swears it. but that's a problem for another day. things are looking up! bear said more than 5 sentences to him the other day and yesterday? he even got a small smile. it'll all work out. he'll be fine.
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Taken by nightmares
TW - nightmares, Cia being creepy, warriors gets bullied by his own brain 101, warriors get his soul stolen (in the dream F), Sky gets a little present, but its not pleasant, blood
Running running running
He was running out of time
Time ticked forward. The flames rose higher. The pain in his soul turned sickly.
"LINK!"
Turning around he found a monstrous beast.
Ganondorf.
The glow of the stolen fragments of the triforce shone from his head as the beast stomped forward. But he felt frozen in place.
Impa lay still on the ground nearby. He was too late to save her.
He raised the master sword in front of him, her glow reflecting in the beast's eyes. A final light in the darkness that was consuming the world around them as it fell away in pieces. The screams of his fellow soldiers echoed through the abyss as the wind picked up into a torrent of pain and destruction.
"You have failed."
A sickening voice echoed from behind him. Female....
Cia...
Unable to move he found hands tracing up his arms as nails dug into his flesh. slow steady footsteps filled his ears as she came into view. Her eyes glowed crimson as she tilted her head and smiled.
"You caused this pain." she smiled. Plaicing a hand to his chin as she drew herself into his face. He could feel the blood rushing to his ears. "You should have given yourself to me. It would have made this so much easier..."
He couldn't speak. He couldn't get away.
Trapped.
Alone.
"My chosen one, my perfect soul. Give yourself to me."
He struggled, he cried, but no noise came out.
Let me go! Let me go!
"Your gods can't hear you now..." She giggled, as she took a step back from him, "By my guiding hand, you are mine to the end!" Turning to him she raised her staff, a dark red mist emanating from its gemstone. Stretching across from her and ensnaring him in its grip.
Gold light begain to stretch across his body, "I will manipulate you into my image. And together my hero we shall rule this world."
Nonononononononononono
Let him go!
"..nk"
He could feel his very essence being drawn from him as the darkness began to seep into his bones.
"....ink..."
Just another sacrifice for her war.
Just another one converted to her perfected image...
"LINK!"
Bolting upright the first thing he did was grab the thing in front of him. Turning it around as a scream of pain left it. Green and red filled his vision as gold joined it.
"Link it's okay!"
"NO! NO I WONT BE A PUPPET! I WON'T BE PART OF YOUR PERFECT IMAGE!" He gripped tighter. forcing the object into the green fabric. Another sound reached his ears. Another yell. More pain more suffering.
"Sky can you get free?"
Sky?
"No."
Sky? Sky... Sky...
The next thing he registered was a knife in his hands. A blade pressed against skin. Panicked voices.
"Step back. You're scaring him." A calm voice, unwavering and unafraid.
Who were they ? They wanted to kill him. They were going to kill him or take him to Cia or or or...
"Link. It's okay. The threat has passed." He pushed the steel against the man's neck. "Put the knife down. No one is going to hurt you."
Dusty blond hair filled his vision. As he registered the wrist in his hand roll slightly.
"Who do you work for?" His voice was low, and the knife pressed tightly against his neck. "You have five seconds."
"I work for Hylia. My name is Link. Like yours. I'm a hero from an age before yours." The man spoke plainly and slowly.
Other Links? Other Links...
the chain...
He moved the knife away slowly but The man did not relax. "Put the knife down, captain. It's okay..."
"Its okay... ITs okay.... Its okay..." Slowly repeating it to himself he moved the blade ever so slowly away from his neck. Watching for sudden movements.
The shift of grass from a boot...
On instinct, he turned the blade and stabbed quickly. Finding his blade stopped short of the man's neck by his own arm. Which was now dripping crimson red blood.
Pushing the man to the ground he jumped on top of him, removing the blade from his arm and trying to space it into the neck where it would be safest.
If they can't talk they can't tell. If they can't tell they can't find you.
The man below him pushed away at his arms, pain ghosted his features as he found leverage and twisted his body sending him to the ground. The man above him pinned him down, his arms placed above his head as he felt something heavy collapse across his legs.
"Warriors! It's me! Sky!" The piercing blue eyes looked down at him.
Sky... Sky....
Sky!
He let out a gasp before looking towards the skyloftian again. "Sky?"
"Yep. Thats me. You back?"
Everything came rushing back to him. He'd attacked Sky. He'd almost killed him.
Dear hylia....
"Sky?"
"You had a bad dream, that knocked your senses for a bit." The skyloftian smiled. and offered him a hand.
He offered him a hand?!
His eyes fixed to the skyloftians bracer where blood pooled around some damage. He didn't say anymore. Turning away. "I'm sorry..."
He felt a pat on his shoulder. "I'm okay." You could hear the grimace in his voice. Trying to hide the pain. "Get some rest, we can talk in the morning."
Why would he want to talk to him in the morning?
"I almost killed you!" He spoke to the air. His voice filled with shock as a hand raised to his lips.
"You were taken by a nightmare. That is not your doing." Sky's voice was unwavering and calm.
How could he be so calm at a time like this?
"I...." He tried again.
"No. Get some rest. We will talk in the morning."
Curling up on his side he spoke no more, but he would not sleep either. The threat of nightmares returning too close for comfort.
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ARIIIII HI HELLO HEY !!! i got a bit busy (i hate assessments) but I'm back and I will soon read all the things I added to my tbr that you posted !! soooo excited hehe :3
I wanted to ask how you guys are playing phanpara.... i also want to see all the fun stuff and play.. ☹☹ manifesting the banners for you so you get them easily <333
- ❄ anon
❄️ ANON MY LOVE !! welcome back!!!! :3 i hope your assessments went well…. i’m proud of you for working hard 🫂🫂🫂 AND PLS don’t feel any pressure w the tbr, my fics will always be here when you have the time !!! <3333
BUT YES . phanpara ….. i’m not gonna lie to you anon getting it downloaded on ios was a whole trial of will but 😭😭 it’s actually. fairly simple. it’s easier on android (you just need to download a bunch of apps to emulate it!!) but on ios you need to manually change your appstore region to japan. and then download a vpn app. the biggest downside w ios is that there aren’t really any good translator apps!! :(( on android you can get bubble translate which lets you translate on screen text really easily…. but you won’t get anything like that on ios. so you won’t understand what the characters are saying (unless you take screenshots and throw them into an image translator)….
buuut if you’re still fine with that!! (assuming you have ios and not android)…. then i’ll leave the instructions down below :33 i’ll try to make them as clear as possible but just ask if you have any more questions!! i’d love to help!!! phanpara is sm fun…
ok so . here are all the steps !!
1) make a new appstore account!!
this step is easy :3 … i don’t. remember how i did it tho. pretty sure you just go to the appstore browser page?? or something.., and then you obv just need to add a name and a functional email address!
when you’ve made a new account, make sure that your ios is logged into it . just go to settings -> click your profile -> click on the appstore icon -> log out from your usual account and log in on the new one!! then you just need to press ”show account” to go to the next step.
2) change your region to japan!!
this is the complicated step. it’s not really that complicated though it just took me a while to figure it out 😭😭 you can use this site for reference if my descriptions confuse you lol
when you try to change your region to japan, you’ll be forced to add your name and your address. you can use your normal name (assuming it’s made up of english letters), but you’ll need to generate a jp address!! it’s actually kinda easy. this is the website i used!! it lists all the information you need in the correct order, so just . copy and paste into the settings . (i believe you’ll need to choose the prefecture manually, so just look at the prefecture name on the website and match it with the options ios gives you!!) street name, prefecture, city, zip code, phone number… etcetc. this may or may not be an illegal process but if you’re a gacha enjoyer i’m assuming you like living life on the edge.
you’ll also get the option to add a payment method, but you should be able to skip it by choosing the option at the bottom. this is important because otherwise it won’t let you change your region (unless you happen to have a japanese credit card hanging around)….
when you’ve entered all the necessary information, click the blue text in the top right corner to move on!! if you’ve done everything correctly you should be taken to the jp appstore :3
3) download phanpara + ovpnspider!!
now you’re almost done!!! downloading phanpara should be easy, just search for it in the appstore and. well. download it. when i did this i had to click through some ios popup page..??? but just . click your way through it. trial and error. until it lets you download the app <33
while phanpara is loading, download ovpnspider!! this one is super easy and doesn’t take up much space at all. when it’s finished downloading, just go into the app, go to the ”jp” folder and connect to one of the vpns!! the status has to be ”alive”, but any of them should work :3
4) play phanpara !!
now you should be good to go <33 the only issue is that the vpn can be a little difficult sometimes. phanpara might take a bit to load, and throw you out if the vpn disconnects, but as long as you just exit the app and change the vpn there shouldn’t be any issues. could be a little bothersome sometimes but you get used to it quickly!! just make sure that you’re connected to a vpn, enter phanpara, and play :33 for me it takes up roughly 5gbs of space, so make sure your phone can handle it!!
aaaaand that’s it <333 i’m sorry if this is just. gibberish 😭😭 or if i’m making it sound more complicated than it is …. and pls let me know if it works for you!!! i’d love to be friends in game if you make an account :33 then you’ll be able to use my gojo in battle … hehehe ……..
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