#about the events i didnt include in this: i know their significance they were just cut out because i couldnt find a way to apply it

[spinostarz]

THE WELL AND THE LIGHTHOUSE PMV/ANIMATIC

very very jean valjean centric because i love him and he deserves the world <3 im not sure if pmv or animatic would apply better to this, but either way, i hope you enjoy it!

[bonefall]

Thoughts on Riverstar? I find him interesting, especially considering he objects to early clan life but ultimately becomes a leader despite that

River Ripple is actually one of the most interesting parts of DotC and if the Erins actually cared about how Clan Culture evolved, they would have made him a much bigger player in DotC. But no, instead, we've smacked the climactic Battle of Fourtrees in the MIDDLE of the arc to make room for the Clear Sky Redemption Arc That Isnt Even A Redemption Arc.

But hey at least we got One Eye and Slash. We all remember One Eye and Slash right. Those were villains that definitely didnt feel forced and entirely completely didnt contribute to the 'evil foreigner' thing that warrior cats as a series is plagued with

No it doesn't count if you only remember One Eye through CheeCats, CheeCats has a massive brain and can do whatever they want forever. If you or a loved one has started shipping River Ripple x One Eye as a result of CheeCats you may be entitled to financial compensation.

i am included in this demographic.

But enough grinding my teeth over the parts of DotC I don't like. This is about Riverstar, a part of DotC that I DO like

Cats of the Park

The Cats of the Park have such a fascinating culture, and it seems to have a bunch of the 'missing pieces' that the Sun Trail cats don't share with their descendants. The mentor/apprenticeship system, the nature reverence, the changing of names after significant events, the rigid schedules and rituals of their daily lives...

Even the leap to worshiping STARS comes from River Ripple and the Cats of the Park.

Heck, it would have been super cool if the Clan cats actually got to react to the destruction of the Park. I think that would have been a really fun and horrific way to rise up the tension, put more stress on the forest to feed a sudden influx of cats, and establish that humans are starting to encroach.

ESPECIALLY if it happened after Thunder Rising, you know? Set up River Ripple as one of Thunder's good friends, helping him realize that his relationship with his biodad is toxic. Then he falls into the river but comes out okay, instilling a reverence of the forest in ALL of his friends

Riverstar Himself

It's really cool to see that River himself is so relaxed about everything, it's a fun and refreshing mindset that we don't get in very many cats, ESPECIALLY not after the rigidity of Clan life is established in later books.

I think that would have been a super cool contrast to the invasive mountain cats, with Clear Sky bringing his concept of borders and battles, and River Ripple trying to appease him with teamwork and diplomacy... and Thunder, Wind Runner, and Tall Shadow realizing it is not going to work.

So I think if there's one thing I really don't like about River Ripple as a character, it's how he doesn't get dragged into the bigger conflicts.

I don't think any character should have gotten that luxury, especially not someone who will become a leader later on. I think the writers let him have too much of an easy time hiding behind his river and watching everything happen from afar.

He does get involved in the One Eye and Slash conflicts, of course... but personally it just feels kinda weak.

Like, he understands the purpose of getting involved AFTER witnessing the corpse-making event at Fourtrees, not suffering loss or injury exactly because he minded his own business? Feels backwards to me.

So to be clear: What I WANT is for him to not want to get involved, but the plot should keep dragging him back in against his will.

Anyway, overall I really like the guy.

[bi4pan-polls]

okay so! i am here with propaganda for Rashmi Jamil and Amelie Macon (Rashmelie) from Entropic Float!

most of my propaganda is reused whole cloth from what ive said for 17 million years of pining, so there will be a significant amount of focus on how long it took them to get together

anyway.

oh. my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are in fact canonically bi4pan - or pan4bi, if were going by name order, since Rashmi is pan and Amelie is bi). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do.

Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married.

one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know.

her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place.

Oh my gosh,,,couple of all. Not just Pan4bi couple of all time. Just couple of all time in the world.

*Propaganda for Rashmelie from Entropic Float Part 1

[insecxreasalwqys]

my heart, will never feel, will never see, will never know. oh, heart, and then it falls, and then i fall, and then i know. (wip)

  Hi. So uhm, i havent been on here for a while, and i don’t think i will be going on here anymore. I know theres probably no more than 3 people reading this, but thats okay. This is probably my last post on here. Thank you to everyone who has read my stuff. I really appreciate it. I enjoyed writing stuff. I just think that im not so interested in alice in borderland anymore. Thank you @thee-yunatic-pixie for helping me, and i am so grateful. So, yeah. Here’s the last thing i wrote, and i hope its not too bad. I hope you can look back at my first post, and look here, as it is my last, and think i improved. I didnt check the spelling, or grammar, or really anything related to it, but it hope you can understand the events, and stuff. This is also a wip, so uh thats why it sounds kinda unfinished? 

 “I’m envious of you.” Chishiya said. And, right there, Chishiya felt the thing he hated the most. And that, that thing, was disappointment. During the game, his expression was very condescending. Very prideful. However, that and his smirk fell with the acid. He always knew. Of course he did. He always knew that whenever he manipulated people into sacrificing themselves for him, their death wouldn’t hold significance (?). Chishiya would just go on and live his life, not acknowledging them at all. Yet, never once, did he feel disappointed in himself in doing so. It was not until now. Whether it was because Kuzuryuu accepted it, or just because, it felt different. As Chishiya got up, and began to walk away, he paused. He looked back at the table, his eyes landing on the seat across from his. The seat which the man he was talking to just minutes ago had sat. And, for the first time, Chishiya felt a sharp jab of remorse; of empathy pierce through his chest. 

    Even before Kuzuryuu sacrificed himself, Chishiya saw people do selfless things left, and right, yet, Chishiya never could wrap his head around why. Why would you help somebody who never helped you? And, even if they did, shouldn’t it always be yourself before others?

    Chishiya sat there for hours, physically idle. Yet, his mind was quite the opposite. He was trying to figure out what his problem was. If so many people were kind-hearted, and selfless, then the only logical explanation, would be that it was something to do with him. And so, the boy did not allow his mind to rest. Not for a second. Not even when the rain began to fall. 

    Every day, Chishiya would walk by his dad’s room, taking a quick glance. However, he saw the same thing, over, and over again. He would be facing that computer of his, with books piled around him. The only time it was different, was when the room was empty. Even when his dad was in there, it felt not much different than when it was empty. 

    Usually, Chishiya would have stopped thinking about it here, but this time, he did not allow himself to. He then realized that the problem was not rooted in his past, but rather, in his, for lack of a better word, morals. He figured many people had been through the same thing, and worse, but did not act the way Chishiya did. 

    See, Chishiya’s morals were: Nobody cared about me, so I’m not going to care about anybody. Including myself. 

     But for the other people who decided to act differently, their morals were: Nobody cared about me, so I’m going to care about everybody. 

    And, with that, he got up, once again, and took a walk. Chishiya decided from that point, that he would try a little harder. And, I suppose, be a better person.      “I won’t be able to get proper treatment in this country.” Chishiya sighed. Although he felt a small sting, the pain hadn’t kicked in. He heard Arisu and Usagi talking, yet he could not process what it was that they were talking about. Then, the stinging went to his nose, and before he knew it, the stinging turned into more of a tingle. After that, well, I suppose Chishiya would have liked to tell you it was a drop of rain that fell near his eyes, but that was not the case.      The sun started to set, and Chishiya hadn’t moved an inch.

     “Because of you, I finally got to live my life the way I wanted to. Thank you, Chishiya.”      This time, when Chishiya recalled these words, it was not disappointment he felt, but happiness, and maybe a drop or two of peace.

    Chishiya saw a burst of blue, then red, then many other colors following.The light lit up everything. The sky, the buildings, everything. Then, he heard a loud voice over the PA. “Now, all remaining players must decide if they accept permanent residency in this land, or if they do not accept.”     Chishiya stared at the ceiling, listening to the faint voice on the radio (if thats the word for it). It was listing names. Names of people who had died in the crash. “Kotoko Shiga, Urumi Aramaki, Keiichi Kuzuryuu-” Chishiya froze. Keiichi Kuzuryuu. The name sounded familiar. Painfully familiar. Chishiya could have sworn he had heard it before. He had no clue where, but it was somewhere. Somewhere. A place he had been in for a long time. It was so unclear to him about where it was, and what it was, but it felt so vivid at the same time.      ❤️

[hug-protocol]

Villain Within GM's commentary:

The Furies

The Furies werent originally intended to appear more than once or twice in the campaign; instead their concepts were largely intended to just be average examples of supervillains in Delburn- during the events of the first session (elsewhere), The heavy-hitter Grindstone and the leader Nightmare would be killed in the conflict that would effectively mark the inciting incident of the main plotline of the campaign. However while everyone was making their character, Marsh's player told me that he wanted Marsh to have been raised by her aunt, a supervillain who ended up leaving Marsh to die on a mission. Inspiration struck and i made Marsh's aunt Grindstone- it was an elegant fit and ended up laying the foundation for some of my favourite NPCs of the campaign.

Nightmare

Nightmare is perhaps the least developed character whos getting a paragraph, because he only appeared once in the campaign, as a corpse. He has the ability to appear to every person as the creature they fear the most, with physical abilities to match, which i came up with after a little workshopping for 'powerful scary ability thats harder to beat as a team than alone'.

he was largely just a classic evil villain but he also got, like, one oddly interesting piece of charactarisation when i panicked and realised Marsh wouldnt have ever seen his face (because shed see a bigass wolf) so for her to recognise his corpse i made up off the cuff an anecdote about her walking in on him painting a self-portrait. and its like damn. sits down. yeah he would do that wouldnt he.

Also the plot twist of the cancelled halloween oneshot set in the 80s would have been that he used to be this superhero sidekick.

Tlaloc

The New Frontiers character/superpower concept that would go into Tlaloc was referred to as 'tactile homogenous bond property induction' (short, sweet, rolls off the tongue, ladies love it) with the ability to induce heat, coolness, rigidity, softness etc etc into any material upon touch and was a timid but determined student who would eventually end up being part of proto-link's hivemind.

she had no actual plot significance but i had a pretty sickass animatic planned of her taking on the vastly more skilled proto-evolution in a wizard duel tournament and getting him on the ropes before inevitably being beaten by his bullshit expertise. as a side note every time i say 'o fuck' im referencing the ending sequence of that animatic.

anyway i ended up keeping exactly none of her (imo great) characterisation (i might reuse it tbh) for a planned hero within villain campaign (not Villain Within), where her power would belong to Tlaloc, a suave gentlethem armoured cyborg supervillain with an Aztec theme weilding a macahuitl. I ended up not joining that campaign for scheduling reasons, so i reused the concept for Villain within.

As a subordinate supervillain, i ended up ditching the suaveness in favour of making Tlaloc and Overclock a dynamic duo of standard examples of the kinds of supervillains the setting produced. Tlaloc was a brazillian master thief who got kidnapped by a gang and fled to the US to escape, only to end up confined to a darth-vader style life support armour. (i would later reuse the armour concept for Treacle)

They were intended to be twice the strength of the party initially (so that them and Overclock combined would be the party's match) (matched set do not seperate). in terms of personality, i didnt really have a good feel for them, so i ended up just going for them being a person Marsh just doesnt know very well, but is broadly reliable as a coworker.

A ditched alternative to the joaquin kidnapping arc would have included the party having to go into their mind to escape some brainwashing thing but it was scrapped bc it was more than a little hamfisted.

Overclock

Overclock is one of the many, many characters that came from the same rp character concept. (this is the reason why Overclock's outfit has a wind-up knob on it, while ReWind-up's outfit has a clock on it) Like Tlaloc she was intended to be an average supervillain, having the ability to make things more or less efficient at will, letting her break machinary and grant temporary superspeed.

Inspired by (what else) Worm, i ended up making it so that she joined the Furies as a teenager, and has stayed in it to (young) adulthood. Now the secret sauce to Overclock's charactarisation was that she is, on most accounts, a pretty normal woman. She doesnt have a job or much friends outside of her supervillainy stuff, so she's chummy with her work bestie, Tlaloc, and tried to stay on good terms with her emo coworker Marsh. The sleight of hand lies in the superpower- Overclock speaks at twice normal speed (this was kind of a paint to play) and consequently comes across as enthusiastic and even a little excitable, despite the fact that her actual words and actions are like. relaxed and friendly at most.

A fun setpiece in the campaign involved Marsh getting boosted by Overclock's powers as part of a bank robbery. I kind of failed at making the party like Overclock, despite being imo one of the more personable characters in the campaign, and eventually when Igneous did his big 5D chess manouvre to take control of the city while revealing his identity to the party, she and Tlaloc were unfortunately sacrificed at the alter of narrative stakes and got blown up. Honestly shes like the one character in the campaign that im sad died. She hid Marsh's fuckup from Grindstone!! She was so chill! and for what???

Grindstone

Shes Big. Shes Bad. Shes a Boomer. Shes a horrible person and worse foster parent give it up for- Grindstone!! Proto-grindstone came from a pretty simple gripe that occured to me while concepting New Frontiers; the fact that everybody with superman powerset fights in exactly the same, boring way- fly up to someone and punch, maybe float up slightly higher and punch. maybe throw someone around a bit. God Forbid you kick!! Literally we are dealing with super strength and the ability to levitate and move your body on every axis here!!! Even on the ground, where the humble punch is the most efficient way of delivering a heavy blow to another person, there are a million billion different variations!!!

Proto-grindstone rejected the superman style of forward punching and instead was like a human spinning top- accelerating her body through any and every axis available, doing 720 degree backward kicks to deliver as much built-up momentum on each earthshattering impact as possible. the personality came easily from there- in Frontiers, people built their own superpower for a purpose; it was something that defined you. Proto-grindstone designed her power to be something that let her win as many fights as possible- a mathematically perfect brute.

She ended up being the sister to proto-ghostknight; like an azula+zuko situation, but older, and without Azula's untrustworthy+manipulative swag; Proto-ghostknight was timid because he was uncertain of his right to use his powers, while Proto-grindstone was a blunt object, completely sure of herself.

This characterisation was so perfect for a supervillain that it ended up being put almost verbatim into Villain Within, with only minor changes; Grindstone is in her late 40s, and usually makes a point to avoid going full butterfly knife most the time because its more convenient for her to kill people with more straightforward strikes.

Marsh's player established that Grindstone left March to die and i was like. say less king. and the rest of her personality developed from there. Grindstone is a person who can just straight up kill you. if youre talking to grindstone you are never more than half a second away from your head parting ways with your body. and grindstone is very much used to this!

Grindstone sees herself as being the sole reasonable person in a world gone mad (in typical boomer fashion), and both expects and deeply looks down upon the way people around her make accomodations for her to avoid getting mulched. She threatens people into giving her what she wants and decides afterwards if she was joking. She does not have a single self-reflective bone in her body.

After rolling ridiculously well on perception after the first main fight of the campaign, Marsh miraculously managed to steal a car and drive her way into interrupting the inciting incident of the campaign, and unintentionally caused her Aunt's (supposed) death as the latter attempted to save her from the collateral damage of the fight going on. Frankly this is one my favourite emotional beats in the entire campaign and im so glad it happened. the absolute devestation. it couldnt have gone better.

Anyway Grindstone lived bitch, kidnapped Marsh's roommate to get her attention (causing some lovely relationship drama that i still cannot believe ended as non-badly as it did) (genuinely Nina telling the cops about Marsh was on the cards) and came back to attempt to rekindle the furies and get Marsh back as one of the members.

I got to play Grindstone as the horrible horrible horrible person she is- implicitly threatening at all times, with zero respect for anyone who isnt her, and got to keep her as a near-constant threat in Marsh's life- something she cant beat in a fight, someone she cares about, and which she cant avoid. genuinely shes so perfect as something to show a different side of Marsh it was such a good idea of their player to play up that dynamic.

On the other side of the dynamic ofc was Grindstone- who after taking a massive loss and almost dying was dealing absolutely horribly, although it wasnt so much clear to the players, who instead got to, after the Igenous reveal, see her life going broadly downhill, with her organisation gone and Igneous sending teams to make sure she never got a moment's rest, even if he couldnt outright kill her. This gave me this great wounded predator of a character to play with- the players got to tiptoe around her, unpredictable as both a potential asset and a threat. She didnt show up in the final battle, for various reasons, which suited her character but honestly i am sad i never got to pit her against the party- i had to design her character sheet very in-depth so that she was beatable without compromising her established power level from previous appearences.

One of the more unintended results of Grindstone's characterisation is that she has. unintentionally somewhat effected my irl mannerisms. i play Grindstone by intentionally relaxing my body as much as possble and speaking with a honey-thick confidence, a wide smile and what i can only hope resembles a southern USamerican accent. Now. all of this, minus the accent, is the mannerism i put on when im trying to get friendly with someone i dont know, so once or twice i have tried to get someone to like me and accidently put on a slight accent. this is mortally embarrassing but i dont think anyone has noticed. so far.

[practically-an-x-man]

Talk shop tuesday!

Is there anything that is the same in all of your 'universes'? A character trait all your Main Character OCs share, an event that happened differently, or didnt happen at all?

Ooooooh, this is an interesting one! Thank you!!

Talk Shop Tuesday

So, first off, I don't know that there's something that remains the same in all of my stories/universes. I have a fair number of them, and they all feature very different characters, themes, and tones. I think in general I do incorporate a lot of hurt/comfort and a balance between angst and fluff, and there are a lot of themes related to found family, medicine/healing, and being accepted for your genuine self, but that's more an indication of what I find important and cathartic when I write than it is a devoted effort to include those themes every time.

I think when we look at when I have multiple distinct fics/stories for the same fandom (4 for X-Men, 2 for DC, 2 for the MCU, 2 for 6 Underground), there's generally a few things that overlap, but not extensively. For example, in both of my 6 Underground fics, I did choose to make One's real name a cheeky comic book reference, but that's just for my own amusement as an author.

When it comes to larger details like fix-it deaths, I try to focus on changes that could directly be influenced by my OCs and their role in the story. So like... I usually try to write a fix-it for Alex Summers' death in the X-Men movies, whether he's a main character in the fic or not - Rae's shields save him in ALON, a healing mutant will save him in a future Smoke and Mirrors sequel, and I had originally planned for Mira's extended story to involve a fix-it for him too - but his canon death sticks in Symphony in Silver because Robin joined up with the X-Men after X-Men: Apocalypse and there was nothing she could have done to step in.

There's some ebb and flow there too, some details I do change just because I want to and some things I let slide even if my OC could have stepped in, it really just depends on what will make the story more interesting and bring the most emotional depth. But as a whole, I feel like restricting the major changes to what the OC can influence is a good way to keep things controlled and consistent.

I honestly don't view my stories as one interconnected universe. I know plenty of people do, and I respect that viewpoint immensely, but I find it more fun personally to treat them as individual bubbles of plot without significant overlap. That way I don't have to keep track of extensive timelines or details, and I can shift around the events as best fit for the characters without being worried about confounding one of my other stories (y'know, like... if Eris and Nikoletta were both in the same universe, I could only write the Corto Maltese plot once and I'd have to think about how they both fit into it while also servicing their individual stories). Some of them might coexist or cross over more easily than others, but as a whole I view them as separate entities.

[system-architect]

its easy to miss if you didnt do the achievements for it especially as it was kind of unfolding live but what it is is that a bunch of the awakened that were traveling through the portal from fahranur to rata primus during the instant the commander destroyed rata primus sort of got turned into fractals. like literally.

it builds off of what we already knew from fractals + mistlock sanctuary + wvw (yes) that the mists loves creating 'ripples' of things that touch it, which it'll near infinitely spit out repeated echo copies of, and so the awakened that were going through that portal when the destination become lost basically hit the mists so hard that it kind of instantly obliterated them and replaced them with mists clones of themselves. on top of that, they just get launched through rifts into places at random because this is what happens when gates get damaged, and this actually happens to braham and the commander at the end of A Bug In The System as well-- we just don't get turned into fractal copies because the gate was damaged as opposed to destroyed. yay!

what's also neat to me, though, is that as opposed to the fractals* we are familiar with, the fractal awakened are actively decaying. (*this includes mistlock sanctuary and wvw and revenant legends, which are also all fractals or things functionally similar. wahoo!)

here's the bits from ninn's journal about it that i really like:

Comparisons against archived golem scans indicate that the Awakened observed have significant degradation consistent with extraplanar overexposure. Left unopposed, they degenerate after a period of minutes into undifferentiated material. ---- The collapse of portal integrity, in the abscence[sic] of a stable endpoint, caused a phenomena inversion, obliterating the Awakened and trapping their remnants in an interstitial state. See related studies attached [clearance check]. The current attacks are created by this Mist-based repetition phenomenon, similar to the research submitted by [clearance check]. The attacks do not represent a new strategy on the part of Awakened command and do not pose tactical or political challenge to existing Peacemaker forces in their areas. The repetition phenomenon will decay until attacks case in approximately [clearance check] years.

what this sort of implies and what makes sense with the current mists lore we have is that, as i mentioned with the ripples, the 'seize onto something and constantly make rippled echo fractal copies of it' thing is something the mists just sort of... does. it's just a gigantic magic pond and everything that touches it ripples across it.

what sets the actual Fractals of the Mists Dungeon apart, as well as mistlock, is that dessa invented machines that basically grab onto these ripples and force them to constantly repeat themselves ad infinitum (Ha Ha) with a sort of forced hard timeline reset so that she can study them without them decaying

what's Also neat and horrifying about it is that we know from both SOTO and the mistlock sanctuary npcs that the people who live within fractals *are* real people-- presumably part of why dessa makes the fractals loop is to preserve the purity of the fractals/the original events within, otherwise the people inside would just begin making their own decisions as they slowly faded away. the SOTO fractal islands are sort of functionally different, but they are not forced to flow in a loop and can leave the islands without it being a problem, so they get to live out their lives. the fractalized awakened are not being stabilized by any sort of mechanism, but also cannot leave, which means that even though they're sort of 'walking ghosts' who are only pale copies of their original selves, they are both fully sentient and have awareness! potentially even an awareness that something is wrong! neat stuff!

the awakened portal incursion event/storyline is actually an intensely fascinating bit of lore and it both ties together a bunch of mists lore and adds kind of new angles on it and i think everyone should appreciate it with me

[thisfanisgonesorry]

Marrying medic fic?🥺 wedding night mayhap s?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

hehe this tickles my brain methinks , rlly hope u enjoy this anon <3 [part 2] cw // pure fluff man, ive never been to a wedding before lol, i did so much research for it, i decided to keep it sfw bc it was just too cute to make sexy :) + miss pauling is the only reason the event didnt fall apart, reference to the comic lore.

<3 I stood at the end of the aisle as I watched Ludwig stand in the middle waiting for me, he was anxiously looking around to see the other mercs with a few other friends and family though it was kept scarce. Travish sat on the piano, playing a majestic soft song as I slowly began to walk down towards the man I love, the one I’m about to marry. It’s nerve wracking, really. Sure, without a doubt, we both knew we’d spend the rest of our lives together with or without a wedding but it was still terrifying. Slowly getting pulled away from my thoughts as Ludwig, unsurprisingly but also as a failed surprise, had his doves make the scenery look like it was unreal, which meant a lot since this was a small wedding with nothing over the top. Given his job, it’s not like we had much of a choice; though there weren’t many complaints to be had. The location was nice and the thought put into it made up for it, though I’m sure just going down to sign the papers and leave married would have worked just as well. Since it was a little under planned, there was no seating arrangement, no bridesmaids (unless you count Miss Pauling) or best men (and unless you count Misha), but it was representative of our friends and lives. Reaching the middle of the aisle with a harsh stop as I turned to look at Ludwig, standing in a black suit with a team coloured tie. “You look beautiful.” He whispered, hooking our arms and continuing to walk down the aisle. “The doves were a little cliche.” I smiled. He looked back at me, pretending to be offended. “What? Everyone always wants doves at their wedding. Didn’t think you would too.” “Took me a week to teach them that!” He quietly joked, before reaching the minister, who has his book ready to read from. Miss Pauling organised most of the wedding, including hiring the said minister, who looked young and spoke professionally. He welcomed everyone as he read out slowly, stating the purpose of the ceremony though it was more than obvious, before turning to me, “Your vows?” I pulled out a small slip of paper, glancing over the traditional vows. “I take you, Ludwig, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health;” I cleared my throat, “Especially if for any reason you want to dismember me for your science—” Ludwig glared at me with a soft smile, “Continue the vows.” “But I also take you to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” I snickered at the ‘death’, given the incident with Mundy, death would not be what parted us. Ludwig smiled adoringly, before pulling out his own ‘traditional’ vows from his front pocket, adding his own snarky comment about promising to always reattach my limbs, unless he doesn’t want to. He also struggled to keep a straight face while saying ‘till death do us part.' Before the minister could ask for the rings, Miss Pauling rushed up with them both, stunning him before he began his speech about how significant the rings are as Ludwig took my hand as he began reciting the words that the minister told him to. “I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love, for today and tomorrow,” He spoke through his thick accent, though it seemed to roll off his tongue as if he wasn’t being told what to say, “and know that my love is present, even when I am not.” Once the ring was placed on my hand, the minister glanced towards me as I repeated the actions, taking his hand, reciting the words and placing his respective ring on his hand. The minister gestured towards the both of us once again, “Do you, Ludwig, take y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?” He tried to contain a wide smile, “I do.” “And do you, y/n, take Ludwig to be your lawfully wedded husband?” This is it, this is the moment that defines the rest of our semi-immortal lives. “Yes, I do.” “By the authority vested in me by the state of New Mexico, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He spoke, giving a soft smile to Ludwig; “You may kiss the bride.” He was giddy and full of energy, he pulled me into an excited hug while

kissing me, spinning us around in his childlike energy as his large body engulfed me wholly into the embrace.

“Ich liebe dich, meine frau.” He smiled; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy, his words barely audible over the sound of everyone’s applause and cheers. “Thank you.” “I love you too.” I said, slightly struggling against his grip. “Can you please let me go, seriously, I want to get out of this dress, it’s very uncomfortable.” He let out a slight chuckle as he unwrapped his arms from the tight embrace, as we walked into the building and began the recessional.

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

Yeah the whole Godjuna vs Zeus doesn’t really make sense when your realize that they said Arjuna ate every single Hindu God... That includes gods like Shiva, Vishnu, and Brahma. It just makes sound like the Hindu pantheon is weak which is just lol. But to me the reason they even wrote that Arjuna ate most the gods is because they didn’t want them involved in LB4. Which I find it a miss opportunity to actually deep dive into the Hindu pantheon and who knows when they ever gonna do that again.

tbh this is a persistent problem with basically all the lostbelts, bc you hear that they're gonna be set in scandinavia or india or wherever and you go 'oh poggers we're finally going to get some Deep Fate Lore on that country/culture's religion, mythology and heroes' and then you GET to the lostbelt and they're like 'uhhh theyre all dead except for this one random bitch we selected to be the king, and said person isn't even who they try to convince you it is it's like billy in a hat. and they THEN stuff the roster with a bunch of heroes who aren't even indigenous to the region or who have no history there (its been in literally every lostbelt- some done better than others but i really don't get why they wouldn't just make servants that match the area they're writing for)

its chronically disappointing when 90% of the time the only time they're even willing to touch the regions (are we EVER gonna go back to china or india again??) is when they're writing some alternate history where said country is completely different from the irl one bc 5 million years ago primordial artoria stopped fish from walking on land or whatever

like IDEALLY we would be getting more stuff like 5.5 or event singularities like ooku, where they're less constrained by feeling like they have to make it a 'what if' scenario and so they can pick an actual time period, location, and general cast so they can actually explore them deeply (i say that like ooku did lmao), OR if they did it like traum or atlantis but themed it after a specific culture's mythology, but atm none of the writers seem to...idk be interested enough to do it

and of course some of this is also writer-dependent bc in cases like atlantis mandricardo literally didnt belong there in terms of themes/nationality (ig it's an italian poem but still) but we learned a lot about his background, how it affected him into his servant form, AND we got a nice solid character arc for him in-story, so even if they did shove every god into arjuna alter if they'd actually written a proper backstory for him that showed us some of how that happened, or his relationships with the gods prior, or even what said gods were like in phh it all wouldve been made far more significant even as they did something completely off the rails with his actual existence

but that would require effort yknowwwwww

[vrishchikawrites]

I dont think these fanon takes are a minor thing, I think its more of a cql thing, if people have watched the drama first/only, their perspective is heavily influenced by it, its no fault of the actors but the script heavily does change stuff, WWX is made to cry 82 times in cql? In novel its 2 at most, JZXs death and when he returns from the dead, his resilience trait is..gone. Jiang Wanyin is shown as soft instead of brash/impulsive that he is, JYL has a fixation on family stuff 1/2

Which is more subtle in the novel, to remove WWX remembering LWJ in burial mounds they add lotus pond scenes, this instead shows that WWX missed 'home' or 'regretted' his actions, in novel he never once did, he wasn't bitter/guilty because he knew he was in the right, and Wens were grateful to him, the public hanging of Wens??? I mean, the whole arc was what rumor mongering does, no one knew they were innocent people because this was hidden from them, people like LXC and NMJwouldNOTstandforit2/?

What is up with Mian Mian being from a bigger sect when she worked hard in a smaller sect to gain a high position and then discarded it for righteousness? ? What about JZX? His arc has him an only child thus influence on his pompous behaviour, and he steps up to save Mian Mian 'daughter of a servant' not his close friend, it highlights him not care about status when looking at people, and sure JWN throw the person down the cliff your sister died saving, what a way to honor her sacrifice 4/?

How they changed JWN into a 'soft' person (with emotional scenes on screen)when he is brash/impulsive fixation on yunmeng trio, JYL with family, WWX never regretted his decision, ever, hes in the right thats why, he doesn't throw the seal into the crowd, he dies from the backlash of destroying the seal because of the very reason he knows they'll use it to harm others which he didnt want. It seems more like scrip writers didnt address mxtxs work as an adaptation they were adapting 5/?

Anon, I'm assuming you said what you wanted to say? Idk, but let me reply to these?

Bear in mind, I watched the series once and actually fast forwarded a few scenes.

I agree that CQL has colored people's opinion on the characters. But I still don't get the takes. Even if CQL softened JC significantly, his actions are still Very bad.

Even in CQL, he-

1. Owes a debt to the Wens and refuses to disclose it.

2. Knows people in the BM are harmless and there's a child there.

3. Doesn't support WWX at critical times, showing division instead of solidarity.

4. Lets the woman he was intent on courting burn before his very eyes.

5. Participates in a seige against his martial brother.

6. Helps that martial brother commit su*cide.

7. Threatens a resurrected wwx multiple times.

8. Tries to fight wwx when he was legit bleeding and swaying in front of him.

9. Goes 'what of my mother, father, sister,' during the whole GC conversation at the temple.

10. Treats his nephew like shit.

11. Benefits immensely from WWX's death.

This is just from the top of my head. Just CQL material.

So, all of these things aren't subtle. They're not nuanced actions of discreet character that you need to dig into. All of these incidences are significant events, clearly described and showcased in CQL.

Blaming CQL is well and good, it has a lot of flaws. I agree with everything you mentioned. But, my thing is, CQL JC is almost worst. CQL WWX is actually more innocent. CQL goes solidly white vs. black morality. LWJ and WWX on the right side, everyone else (juniors and wn not included) on the wrong side. It can't be clearer even in that, somewhat clumsy, adaptation.

What I think is happening is people are overly identifying with a foil character. Instead of thinking, "Well, this is how this character works, these are his actions" they go, "this is how the author, unjustly, crafted my fav character. His actions are the author's fault and really, he is better deep down inside of him. You just don't understand him like I do. Really, the author was unfair to him."

All the while, they forget this is a fictional character crafted from the author's imagination and not a real, dynamic person.

The case with MianMian is ridiculous. Her character is compelling in many ways and CQL definitely messed it up. JZX would've benefited from that nuance. I won't comment on how much I hate the low self-esteem so prevalent in WWX's CQL characterization because it makes me scream.

But even then, WWX is shown as competent, confident, and so done with everyone's bs. He clearly reached a point where he only cares about LWJ. It is pretty obvious that in his opinion, everyone else (aside from juniors and wn) sucks.

CQL may be iffy, it isn't fully to blame. Fanon takes are... well, just some people deciding they wanna ignore the source material and believe their fav character is different. Which, sure. I don't mind.

Still doesn't change the fact that they chose to interpret characters in a certain way despite all evidence to the contrary.

[amysubmits]

Anon from earlier, about the asexual thing. To clarify what I meant about the stereotypes (I was gonna include all of this in the original but didnt want it to be too much or feel like I was ranting/lecturing. Sorry it ended up too vague in the end.)

The stereotype most present is that asexuals don't have sex or dont seek fulfillment through sexual relationships. Asexuality is about attraction, not libido or activity, and it's a spectrum, not a you are or you aren't. I totally recognize part of that was presumably specifically in response to the original anon saying they dont necessarily think a lot about the sexual part, but, and this is a good example of how not being familiar with the community can trip people up, sex positive/favorable aces usually do at least engage in, if not actively seek out, sex. So the whole thing kinda played into the "asexual always means absolutely no interest in sex" stereotype.

Also, sort of a side note, re your answer to my first question, there's really nothing I've seen on your blog indicating that you are or aren't asexual, though of course I could have missed something. You are probably right that original anon didn't care whether their question was answered by someone who wasn't ace, or they would have gone to a blog by a kinky ace person, but your blog doesn't make it super clear that you are not that.

And for the record, I am 100000% not saying that like, your answer was terrible or even like, offensive. Theres just so much shit in the kink community that gets piled on aces and aces get excluded a lot from kink stuff bc of that specific stereotype. Ill own that Im a bit sensitive to it bc the kink community in my area does really cool events that I have been told not to attend because of it.

Thank you for elaborating, I appreciate you helping to educate me.

I didn't understand that asexuality can be just about attraction rather than being about the degree of 'drive'. I knew it was a spectrum, but I thought it was more of a spectrum between being sex-repulsed on one end, to having a lower-than-average amount of drive and/or attraction (I thought some people identified as ace for low drive and others for low attraction) on the other.

Now learning otherwise, I realize I was incorrect in saying that it should be clear from my blog that I'm not asexual. I am demisexual, so I guess according to some at least, that would make me asexual?

I guess within the context of that question, it still seems to me like they probably were trying to imply that they have a lower sex drive, though? Because this person they're playing with is their boyfriend...so if their asexuality was on the end of the spectrum closer to demisexual, I don't know that they would be asking how to make BDSM and asexuality mix, as a demisexual person would theoretically have no significant differences in their sex life or D/s dynamic while in a committed relationship than someone who wasn't demisexual. Right?

I didn't mean to suggest that asexuality always means the person has no interest in or isn't open to sex. I knew that wasn't the case, and I understood that the anon was saying they are open to sex at least to some degree. Despite realizing that, I had no way of knowing the degree to which they're open to sex, and I had the general recognition that they might be struggling to mix BDSM with their asexuality, so I thought it made sense to focus my response on non-sexual things that might work for them. Though maybe me focusing exclusively on non-sexual stuff could read to people as if I was assuming this person has no interest in sex at all?

I think what may have been read as feeding into that stereotype the most could have been my comment about if my sexuality's were 'removed from me'. I can see how someone could read that and think I was saying asexuals are people who have no sexuality at all? That wording was not the best choice, and I can see how I could have been hurtful. I am sorry about that. I should have been a bit more careful with my wording. I wasn't saying that to try to use that as an analogy for asexuals. I was saying it to try to make the point that for me (and I think many others, asexual or not) many aspects of submission can be unrelated to sexuality.

Also, it's totally understandable that it's a sensitive issue for many in general. With you being excluded from events over this...it's easy to understand why it would be a real sore spot. I'm sorry that happened to you...that's just not right.

[bananonbinary]

do you think you could link some of your favourite tma time travel fics? i need some to read but don't know where to start

OH BOY CAN I

anon i have read. all of them. you dont even know.

okay so my absolute favorite is The Reverb in These Holy Halls (completed), which is also probably the most original plot-wise. Rather than just following Canon But Less Death, it actually makes pretty significant changes to the timeline and results in some fascinating turns of event. also it has some fantastic supplemental stuff, including some scenes with a kid they all raise like 20 years in the future and a whole fic on what the hell the rest of the institute thinks about everything.

i think i’d be sniped by the fandom if i didnt include Yesterday Is Here (completed). significantly less plotty but extremely warm and fuzzy, mostly focuses on found family relationship building and jonmartin from s5 hazing jonmartin from s1, which is fucking hilarious.

obviously i just recced Cut Loose The Strings of Fate (in progress), which is just getting off the ground but is unique in that it’s just s5 martin who went back, not jon or both of them. also has a healthy side of web!martin not wanting to be Web and trying to adjust.

Reflection (in progress) is another pretty unique one, because no one but past!jon can see future!jon. its angsty and hilarious in turns.

where there's a will, we make a way (in progress) only goes back to the start of season 4, but has a lot of angsty fun with jon only being able to speak in full quotes from statements. this one better end up with a helluva lot of comfort to make up for all the hurt its given me /j

uhhhh a few other honorary mentions are Too Much Time (in progress) and The Timeline of Theseus (in progress), which both involve jon going all the way back to when he was 8, Moth Song (in progress), which isnt technically time travel so much as dimension hopping but still follows basically the same pattern and also has fun with “the mechs were jon’s college band,” and Displaced (completed), which is actually 2 fics about s4 martin meeting s1 jon and vice versa. everything hurts and nothing is okay in this one.

EDIT: oh shit i forgot to mention Unravel (in progress), which is less about time travel fix-it and more about s5 jon helping s1 jon come to terms with being nonbinary, its very sweet.

[tobacconist]

ill put it here since its hard to have a proper discussion through replies

@solomonjones 

God’s will is mysterious, and we as humans cannot know it. i dont pretend to, but i can aspire to atleast attempt to understand it. regardless of your religion; either you believe: God ordains all events throughout history as part of his greater unknowable plan, and that it is He who causes the rise and fall of nations, peoples, ideologies, etc or, you believe: when good things happen to you God is blessing you but when good things happen to your enemies it is satan who blesses them. if that is the case, you do not worship the One True God. you worship an imposter deity who presumes to call itself “θεός”, or “Бог” or “ الله ”;  who is caught in deep rivalry with all the other pretenders to the throne of God Almighty.

this is what the story of the old testament is fundamentally about. even though the israelites were God’s chosen people, they were continually overtaken and oppressed by pagans. as it is written, the LORD hardened the pharaohs heart. in my opinion, it is impossible to understand the wider context of the bible (old and new testament) without understanding it in relation to pagan history and mythology (and in relation to the modern world) they didnt include, say, the odyssy in the holy canon of course because the pagan peoples being converted already knew these stories intimately. they did include the scriptures of the jews however (even though they were in many ways just as spiritually flawed as the pagans) because people were less familiar with them and the scriptures of the jews are very important to understanding the significance of the life of Jesus Christ (as he fulfilled prophecies of both the pagans and the jews)

when i say i have deep respect for the orthodox churches, please understand that i am being completely earnest. but i see it for what it is, an imperial religion of temporal power, like any other. this is going to sound quite harsh, and im writing this from an antagonistic perpective because, i presume, as someone who is quite devout; you do not need to be convinced of the deep need for religion in the world (now more than ever) that said... throughout history, kings and theologians have torn the Body of Christ, the church herself, into pieces. like DOGS they have torn the body of christ to pieces! like some horribly blasphemous tug of war. catholics pulling the head and protestants pulling the legs. baptists pulling out the intestines, the orthodox snarling and territorially guarding the heart, and the gnostics scooping up the spilled brains. and yet they are all convinced they know best, that they are the ones with grace, that they are the only true pure and correct church. this is what i mean about spiritual pride, and everyone knows it. especially when their actions and morals are in so many ways clearly at odds with what Christ actually taught. the only reason atheism exists is because of centuries of corrupt religious leaders; you can blame no one else for this godless world.

you claim the tsar held grace by his ceremonial anointment; but God hears the cry of the oppressed. thousands dead for your cause seems very reasonable compared to thousands dead for your enemies cause. but God gave people a rational mind, and although we are all misguided, he gave us wisdom enough to (eventually) see through deceit - whos author is the devil. it took centuries, but he taught us the ignorance of idolatry. the foolishness of worshipping kings. many more centuries it took until we abolished slavery. when the LORD let loose his hand and upturned the entire order of civilisation; throwing the chess pieces everywhere. fortuna’s wheel made such a global revolution; scarcely ever seen before. the nobility of the world, once so proud, learned through the bitterest chastisement the desserts of one who believes he can do no wrong.  i cannot question the judgement of the LORD, but i do wish history had been different. less bloodshed, less mess; but God knows best.

on the topic of miracles, you can believe whatever you like, my friend. jesus said blessed are those who believe what they cannot see; but in my opinion you are as naive as one who believes hindu swamis can manifest gold rings out of thin air.  all religions are guilty of this chicanery, but the spell only holds as long as people still want to believe. God gave us the power of reason, and His essence is truth. a great spiritual mystery; that (atleast for the past hundred years) Gods chosen people have been the atheists who knew him not! contemplate it! deny it if you want! there is great wisdom to be found there. not that they are blameless. the very opposite. i do not deny the horrors of communism which i assume you as an orthodox christian will know intimately well; but communist movements (and growing secularisation in general) cannot be thought surprising when one considers history. but has not the LORD advanced their science? has He not given them the power to perform many miraculous (and diabolic) deeds? babylon, rome, and america all play their part in His great plan. Blessed are the Naive, for they will not be punished as severely as those who should have known better. you can bring up some (rather weak) scientific validation of miraculous events to prove that God is on your side, but every single religion does this. and if you look at who is actually out there curing the blind, deaf and lame, who is it?

do you feel a deep spiritual calling in your heart which demands your soul to cleave unto the orthodox church? good. listen to it. that is God talking to you. that is God telling you what role you must play here in your lifetime. in some peoples hearts, that voice tells them to cleave to islam, or to buddhism, or to fucking wicca some people it tells them to ardently support nothing but science and secularism and to reject any fairytale from the past that they cannot prove. to some it tells them not to worry about any complicated theological or scientific shit that they would never understand anyway; and instead to simply follow what they know and try to be a good person by whatever ethical system they follow.

to some of us, it says we must always, always strive to be wise. that it is our sacred duty to solve every great paradox and to unveil every mystery that while the rest of the world argues in the dark, we must take our small spark of light and study deeply what we see within its radiance; and combine our little lights whenever we can. that we will be punished for our failings, as we will never be truly wise. no man can be omniscient. we will be punished for everything that we know, and for everything that we dont know, and that we must accept this. for being lukewarm and middling, for being passionate and taking a side. but we must do it anyway. that it is our duty. because ignorance is a condition which feels disgusting. that voice, it tells me that this is the task, the monumental task that all mankind undertook when we chose to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, when we had been warned not to; to become like gods. and God himself, the LORD almighty said to us: okay.  but you will die. you will die thousands of times. thousands upon thousands, upon thousands of times. and each time, you will become just a little bit wiser until maybe, just maybe, you will become like i. my “only begotten son” who will reign with me in paradise when you finally realise what a profound responsibility it is to be God.

[swamp-world]

anyways. if... (1968). how to talk about it. tired ramblings below the cut. again, big TWs for a lot of stuff.

im slowly in the process of rewatching it because i just havent had the time lately. it just...strikes me as such a strange film for what it is. i dont remember much, frankly. i remember the general idea, the general vibe, i think there was a lot i was too young to understand the first watch.

the first thing that comes to mind in this film is the idea of the school shooting. they didnt call it such, no, but that’s what we would call it today. as a film made in 1968, it’s morbid and horrendous that they created an event in an overdramatized film, clearly meant to be divorced from reality, clearly satirical in every way, and that by the end of the century, Columbine would happen, and within the 21st century, school shootings became a regular event in america. a cursory search shows that there certainly were instances of school violence before this (a man shot a student in a dorm; a principal shot colleagues, etc.) but none so sensationalized or arguably senseless as those in Brenda Spencer, as Columbine.

and that’s where this film walks a tightrope. there are multiple ways to see the film and all of them are true in at least part.

1. many will recognize malcolm mcdowell from his role in A Clockwork Orange. many will recognize that as a film that white american men tend to look to aspirationally instead of with horror, as it was designed. same vein as the matrix, fight club, the joker, etc. this movie is where he got a lot of his character inspiration from. and there’s definitely that same idea of the disillusioned loner who, if given a gun, can make enough of a revolutionary difference in a world that has wronged him

2. is this supposed to be a good thing? the film seems conflicted itself at times. the teachers are in the wrong, certainly. oh, that’s without question. it doens’t paint the violence as aspirational, i dont think. i do think that there’s this idea of a fictionalized, sensationalized and glorified revolution, fighting back against the school system and society

3. this was part of a “series” that was satirizing british school, healthcare, and capiatlism. make of that what you will.

4. it predates monty python as well but absolutely demonstrates much of the same humouor and influence and aims. i can’t explain the surrealness of it.

5. the disillusioned students aren’t disillusioned for no reason. the school system strips them of their character, reduces them to family names and no personality, turns a blind eye to abuse at the level of peers, encourages harmful hierarchies within the student body that involve active abuse and corporal punishment, and aims to produce machines instead of people. this is an understandable reason to be upset. it’s something we still grapple with today.

6. the context of the school shooting in the film absolutely must, for my intentions here, be separated as much as possible from our modern conception of the school shooting. the ones that we encounter in the modern world are certainly a product of the issues that the film brings up, but i want to do my best to look at it in its own time, as much as i am able to with my limited knowledge

7. the modern school shooter tends to be a “lone-wolf” domestic terrorist, and i will not hesitate to call them such. they tend to be incels, white, straight, young men who perceive themselves as being rejected by women, or who are motivated by alt-right and fascistic beliefs and goals. these are acts meant to inspire terror in those populations. i would certainly classify these as hate crimes, since that’s their primary motivation. in If... on the other hand, they are very clearly attacking the system of british education itself and the people who perpetuate it. (in a lot of situations, this isn’t inherently much different from the way that a lot of modern school shooters see themselves: important to consider.) rather than being violence deliberately directed at the students, it’s specifically on Speech Day, where parents, administration, faculty, etc. are all present. These are the people in power; these are the ones who send their children to these schools, who fund them, who run them, who allow, encourage, and enact the violence. it is not an aimless violence, nor is it a hate-motivated violence.

8. the shooting in the film is meant to be farcical and satirical. who would have imagined, in 1968, that this scene, meant to be the pinnacle of overdramatized and hyperviolent revolution in a satirical manner, not meant remotely to approach reality, would become something that people avoid watching because it has in fact happened to them? in 1968, who would have predicted Brenda Spencer, Columbine, Stoneman Douglas, Sandy Hook, Virginia Tech? there was one significant school shooting in 1966, in Austin, that killed 28 and was the deadliest mass shooting for 18 years. but, and while this doesn’t diminish the violence, i want to emphasize that that took place at a university in america, not at a boarding school in england. the fundamental difference between the concept of adults, former military, gunning down 28 people; and a set of schoolchildren taking over the boarding school’s armoury and shooting at the headmaster, having been taught how to shoot those very guns on that very schoolground, is an extreme difference.

9. so, the shooting is designed to be an act of violence, targeting a system that the film paints as being actively harmful and deserving of a takedown, using the very weapons that the school taught them to use but never anticipated to have turned on them, and created in a farcical light: the idea that “this won’t happen, it’s too outrageous to be real”.

10. how do we take this these days? it seems, in many ways, like very little has changed. oh, corporal punishment isn’t practiced (or at least, not sanctioned, but certainly practiced). students are still molded to machine standard on the basis of class and aspirations spoon-fed to them by their parents. there’s still a significant divide between the working class and the capitalist class. there’s still rage simmering at the way that students have been abused by their schools. the violence that was seen as being overexaggerated at the time became a reality for a completely different set of revolutionary reasons, and the film balances the same tightrope as the matrix, as fight club, etc., between being commentary and satire that violent men will mark as aspirational and true rather than satirical and a warning

11. (that’s not to touch on the misogyny of the film)

this is apparently voted one of the best british films of all time, but that doesn’t mean much a lot of the time. it being a best voted doesn’t mean it’s popular or common or well known among people outside of britain, or outside of that generation; it doesn’t mean it was understood and received as intended.

the other thing i want to bring up about the film is the question of reality. the whole thing is so surreal and strange that the line between reality and imagination begins to blur regularly, but particularly near the end. there’s the question of whether this shooting actually happened in the film, or whether it was merely a twisted fantasy of mcdowell’s character. frankly, i would say that it doesn’t matter if it’s real, according to the movie or not. it genuinely doesn’t. this is what we as the audience see, and the intent is the same: either the boy is so driven to this violence that he actually does it, or he’s so driven to it that he fantasizes vividly about doing it. the point of it is still the same. it isn’t our job to know reality from fantasy; it’s possible that if it’s made up, the character himself isn’t aware of that. of course the film won’t make sense, it’ll be muddled and confusing and unrealistic, it’s satire and meant to bend the rules of reality to make a point. (those rules of reality included: schoolchildren do not use semiautomatic weaponry on their own schools. except for in texas, it does not happen.)

so what’s this to do with dark academia? let me answer that when it’s not 4am.

[saieras]

21 THINGS I LOVED ABOUT ENDGAME

HEAVY SPOILERS. I always tag #endgame spoilers, so make sure to block that if you haven’t

1. THE FIRST 20 MINS

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

2. The Time Jump.

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

Although it might have other implications for FFH (like, how the hell is Ned still in Peter's class if he survived? Unless the entire decathlon team got dusted together, which, hey, kinda depressing but like they say, People who decathlon together, Dust together!)

3. Intro of Thor and Clint

The cinematographic shift, including atmosphere and music, was a bit jarring, but I quite liked it. And Korg and Meek! Just hanging out

Although I’m curious, why didn’t y’all give Thor body hair? He’s got a wild beard, a dadbod with a beerbelly... He ought to have a hairy chest/stomach! Same with Clint. That japanese dude Clint killed was still speaking after his throat got slit. Wut.

4. Scott Lang.

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.

But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. Morgan. Tony and Morgan. Tony and Peter’s photo.

Domestic Tony. So soft. AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan.

6. THE NYC SCENE.

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da--“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky... Is... ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

7. Frigga and Thor.

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

8. Tony and Howard.

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And... while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

9. Peggy and Steve.

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

10. Gamora saves the day!

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

11. Clint and Natasha

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

12. Just, Natasha in general.

She’s really been allowed to SHINE in this film. ScarJo is finally allowed to act! Like, thank god. About time she snapped out of her resting impassive smirkface. I love the humanity we got to see out of Natasha as a result. And her heading the command center for a post-Snap Avengers is very apt for her.

13. THE BIG 3 FIGHT THANOS

There are many, many things to love here. But Thor wielding both weapons was amazing, them teaming up their powers with lightning and Tony’s tech, and STEEB with MJOLNIR allowed him to perform SO many cool tricks. Like playing vibranium squash with the shield. So fluid. That fight scene was something else.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

Assembling for the final fight. I didn’t like how it turned into a slugfest (again), but that moment of hope when Sam hails Steve... Damn.

15. MY BABY BOY PETER

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!! How we focus on him for a large part of the battle. How he’s running through the field with the gauntlet, and people all around him coming to help him.

16. Carol’s entrance.

She singlehandedly destroyed that purple grape’s hopes and shat all over his precious spaceship. That’s our girl!

17. “Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. That’s how he ended up with a whole fucking team of parents.

It be like that sometimes.

18. The LADIES of MARVEL

THEY ARE AMAZING. I fully expect a gifset when the bluray is out. Every one of them. Also the way they gathered around Peter, so soft yet so badass at the same time!

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. The passing on of mantles

Steve to Sam (SO glad he didnt get passed over for bucky), Thor to Valkyrie, and Tony to Pepper. These are their legacies. And they’re very skillfully done.

I forgot to add that Steve’s choice to remain in the past and grow old is an EXTREMELY tasteful move. It completes his character arc, fulfilled his dreams from back during the CA First Avenger, and eases him out of the main picture without giving us more heartbreak. It’s sad, yes, but the kind of sad that is also laced with contentment and happiness. This is what he deserves.

20. Tony’s send-off.

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

I have to admit I wanted Peter to also be there when they’re playing back Tony’s recording. I like how they otherwise didn’t miss a single member of the IronFam, though, like Rhodey, Happy, Pepper, Morgan, they’re all there. But still, Peter should’ve been.

Also, how could I forget, Harley. He totally had every right to be attending that funeral. And it shows how Tony kept in contact with him.

21. And finally, Tony. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

How far we’ve come. So, thank you!

[callingallcars]

strauss-howe generational theory???

strauss-howe generational theory!!!!!! This is my favourite sociological theory, and actually one of my ongoing hyperfixations which means this is gonna be a hella long answer.

it asserts that there are four main generations each lasting about 20 years (but can be around 22 if the global sociopolitical/economic field permits) as a part of a larger scale of one average human life span of 80ish years. Each generation has its own archetype and its based off the sociopolitical/ economic climate that is occurring, which tends to be the same roughly every 80-90 years, or 4 generations, or roughly one generational cycle. its how we know millennials are defined as those who were born between 1980 and 1999, how gen x is 1960-1979, and boomers are the baby boom that occurred after-ish WWII from 1940-1959, hence why theyre called boomers. Gen X has no defining name for some reason, because technically every generation has a lettered association, millennials are gen Y, “zoomers” are actually called Generation Z etc.

The four archetypes are the Hero (civic); The Artist (adaptive); The Prophet (idealist); and The Nomad (reactive).

The theory itself states that every 80ish years, or “full saecula” there is a crisis, followed by a recovery, where communal values amongst generations are strong enough that the sentiments shared amongst the succeeding generational archetypes boils over into a fight for individualism, attacking state systems, and eventually topples the institutions, which ultimately creates another really awful political climate that, you guessed it, ends in a crisis!

(a fun way to look at it is boomers are responsible for the political climate that lead to the 2008 financial crises, which is technically the Actual crisis that defines the zoomers generation).

Now, while crises and global historical political events are inherently important to the definition of these archetypes, the other big thing thats been super important since the industrial revolution is the evolution of technology!!!!! Boomers had sliced bread and the polio vaccine (same year go figure) and the microwave, Gen X actually had a pretty big uptick in musical technology (rock n roll, anyone?) (also the punk and hip hop fanbase, MTV, the invention of portable music players like tape decks, the eventual grunge scene, etc). Millennials are the ones who actually have claim to the internet since it took on the first internety form in 1990, which allowed millennials to grow up with the technology, and since we know children are more adaptable to new technology than adults because they can include it in their developmental processes, we can just pretty much give the internet to mid millennials.

But this is where it gets interesting, and a bit muddled, and where my own research and extended research beyond strauss and howe comes in.

There are a few important things to consider:

Between each generation, since time and development and the global climate is not split evenly since thats not how the world works, there’s usually some overlap in those born within the 5 ish year gap between generations.

Another thing that defines generations is their upbringing, and until about the late Gen x/ early millennial generations with a few exceptions (my parents included because they were older than average when my sister and i were born) have defined the new generations every 20 yrs bc well, that’s typically when it was the social norm to have kids in the cishet nuclear family “norm”.

Another thing is that children tend to be the opposite archetype from their parents (think of how the artist archetype comes immediately after the hero archetype) but thats more of a fun fact that just gets sprinkled into every discussion

So, if we know that there’s always some generational overlap, and technology and political crises play equally important roles in defining a generation, and we know that tech blew tf up around 2008 All Of A Sudden (faster than it ever really had, seriously the exponential growth of tech after apple and amazon cornered the market is nuts) and we know millennials have claim to the early internet, and Zoomers have claim to smart technology after the tech boom, and are defined as usually being born post-9/11 and their defining crises is the 2008 financial crisis, then where does that leave the overlapping kids in the middle, born too late to really have claim to the early internet (1997/8) but born before/during/Just After 9/11 making That their defining crisis (because even if u were only 4, u had enough time to develop and be raised by ur parents both in a pre And post 9/11 world) That my friends is what people often refer to as “the lost generation” “Xennials” “dark millennials” etc. There’s examples of it all over the internet. “if you were born between 1995 and 2000 youre the maroon 5 generation” (personal fave) “music/ technology/ stores/ toys etc only dark millennials will remember” (and itll be a photo or list of something so very 2004-2010 that only someone born during that time would have ever experienced, since tech didnt last that long in this time period re the smart tech boom) (music and music tech is also actually super important to generations, because it defines whole cultures, and you can just Tell when music is from, and all those dumb born in the wrong generation things often focus heavily on music and music-influenced scenes)

All this is to say that if you were born ill say at the earliest 1995 and latest beginning of 2002 and you feel like you dont have a claim to a generation, if u relate to those “dark millennials” posts, if you remember going from overhead projectors to smartboards instead of one or the other, if your first social media was late myspace or facebook instead of AOL or snapchat, if you spent your childhood playing outside but then vividly remember when everyone became smartphone obsessed and when that became The Thing to do (idk about u but like it was Cool in middle school to bring ur iphone 3G or 4 to class or parties and let people use it) then its because there really is a weird middle “lost” generation that doesn’t belong to either side, where the generational overlap is more significant than any before due to the swift development of tech during this period, and where the people inside of it often have traits and interests from both sides, but also their own defining pieces of middle-ness (like marianas trench, or taio cruz, or all those weird ytv/nick/disney shows that only ever lasted 2 seasons like danny phantom).