#i just hate doing them. i do well at it but i hate em

[mysterymachine67]

HOPE TO GOD THAT THIS TIME FRAME IS STILL THAT FEW HOURS THAT YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

pretty please can you write dean x top male reader.. but i want reader to be the most cocky hunter asshole known to man,, like rude, no empathy/sympathy, NOT LIKEABLE at all. LEGIT NOTHING IS GOOD ABOUT READER except his looks, of course. bobby asked reader to help dean with a hunt and with so much bribery, reader agreed. pls sex like in the bathroom of a bar or sex in an abandoned house,, JUST something with a shit ton of degradation and insults. 😈 oh and make reader very rough, I mean VERY.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x M!reader

NSFW. Minors DNI.

HERE YOU GO 🙌🏼. I hope you enjoy this, and it fits your request. Also I’m not to sure if there’s enough degradation 😭 Sorry!

You’re a dick, an asshole, a brutally honest person, someone who doesn’t give a shit about someone else’s feelings, and many other things under those categories. If someone needed to be told the truth, they’d come to you. Even if it meant getting their feeling hurt. You were a well known hunter. If someone were to bring up you in a conversation, or your name was heard, nine times out of ten someone will scoff or scowl. People hated working with you, but you were a damn good hunter so most didn’t have much of a choice. So when Bobby called, asking you to help the Winchesters with a hunt, of course you were gonna be a hard-ass.

“They just need you this one time. Yeah, I know I’ve said that before but this one’s bad. They’ve been on it for a week. They never take that long on a hunt,” Bobby explained. Hoping you’d just quit with the act and accept it already.

“I couldn’t care less of what they need. What good does it for me? Absolutely nothing,” you paused, actually considering whether going or not. “Find somebody else.” You finished, hanging up the phone.

“Damnit,” Bobby cursed. But he wasn’t about to give up. It was Bobby for fucks sake.

Your phone rang again. You let out an irritated sigh, shooting your phone a look. C’mon, this was the least you could. So after a few seconds of letting it ring, you finally picked it up. Answering it, and putting it up to your ear. “What?” You snapped.

“Could you please just help them out? Hell, I’ll even buy you whatever drink you want after. They just need help, no matter how hard they refuse to admit it.” Bobby pleaded.

“Fucking— you know what? Fine. Where are they?” You finally, finally agreed. Bobby whispered a quiet ‘Oh, thank God’ when you responded.

“They’re in Erie, Pennsylvania. Hunting down something they’ve never heard of. They called me for help but I ain’t got nothin’ but a steaming pile of shit.”

“Alright, give ‘em a call for me would you? I’ll be on my way.” You grumbled, beginning to get up and pack the things that needed to be packed. Once one of you hung up the phone you shoved it back into your pocket.

—

The drive there was calm, and relaxing. Something you needed. Nobody talking your ear off, being annoying, or anything of that sort. Peace and fucking quiet. That was until you arrived at the motel they were staying at. The moment you knocked on the door and Dean opened it he shut it. Right in your face. And best believe that pissed you off.

“Oh, hell no,” Dean exclaimed. “Nuh uh. Nope. Not doing it. He can fucking leave.”

“Dean, it’s only for a few days. I don’t like him either but we need the help.” Sam said, attempting to calm his irritated older brother. Dean, knowing he won’t win this argument, decided he was going for a drive. Also going to complain to Bobby, because what the fuck?

“Whatever. You can deal with his shit on your own.” He said, walking toward the door that you were currently talking shit behind. The moment he opened it he pushed past you. Hearing him say ‘move’ in the process. You surprisingly didn’t say anything. Deciding to be mature and walk into the motel room.

“Sorry about him. This hunt hasn’t been the best—“ Sam started.

“Yeah, I know. Otherwise I wouldn’t fucking be here.”

You caught Sam off guard. Over the course of time you saw them last he forgot how you were. “Listen man, I understand you’re upset but don’t take that out on me.”

Kicking the door shut behind you, you grumbled stuff under your breath; clearly not caring. Meanwhile, Dean was pretty far from the motel. Arguing with Bobby over the phone while music played faintly.

“Dean, please you need him for this hunt.”

“He’s a huge asshole! We can handle this hunt ourselves. It’s nothing we haven’t done before!” Dean nearly shouted.

“Bullshit! You’ve been stuck on this for a week. You should be thanking me that I called him. Now, get your ass back to those books!” Bobby quipped, pressing the button to stop the call. Still irritated, Dean decided to stay out for a little longer. Calming and preparing himself to deal with you for more than twenty-four hours. When he returned you and Sam had been looking at lore books for the longest time. Your eyes began to hurt. Though the sound of the door opening and shutting brought your attention back to reality. “About fucking time. We could’ve used your help.” You scolded. All Dean did was shoot Sam a look. Sam shook his head, hoping that Dean took it as him suggesting for him to brush it off. He did. Rolling his eyes and sitting at the end of the bed.

“What do we got?”

Then the both of you began to explain what you’ve came up with in the past two hours Dean had been gone.

—

You guys pretty much stayed up all night. Getting only about two hours of sleep. You ended up bunking with them, staying on the couch. Of course not without hearing Dean’s complaints. You were in the bathroom, currently. Changing your clothes and getting ready for the day. Just as you unbuckled your belt, and began pushing down your jeans the door opened. It was Dean. “Oh, shit. Sorry.” He said, quickly. But couldn’t help himself with catching a quick glimpse of your body.

You caught it. Of course you did. “You gonna take another look or are you gonna close the door?” You pointed out. “I wasn’t looking at you, you’re crazy.” Dean said, shutting the door rather harshly. You laughed to yourself, then continued to change. “Whatever you say.”

Once all of you were ready to leave and go find out more things, you all walked out the door. You noticed Sam and Dean got closer together while walking toward Dean’s car. Dean was whispering something to him. “I don’t want him in my car.”

“It won’t be the first, and it definitely won’t be the last. You’ll be fine.” Sam replied. You couldn’t care about what they were saying. It was probably about you. No, definitely about you.

You guys drove around all damn day. It was late and you guys didn’t get jack shit. Well, you found out a few more useful things, of course. But Sam pointed out a pattern last minute and you guys had to turn around to this random house. It was pretty much in the middle of nowhere, but there were a few houses around it. Not that it made it any better. Sam, deciding that you and Dean need to get on better terms, put you two as partners to check out one singular house. While he went off to check out a different one across the street. The moment he walked away you swung your arm around Dean’s shoulder.

“Just me and you. Alone. So dreamy, isn’t it?” You teased. “Get off me.” He grunted while shrugging you off. Then you trailed after him into the house. Mind you, these houses are abandoned. By the looks of it no one has lived in them for years. So maybe you’d finally catch whatever you guys have been hunting. Once inside Dean spoke up. “You take down here, I’ll go upstairs.” You agreed, there was no reason to argue.

You found nothing downstairs. So you decided to go upstairs to Dean, see if he needs any help with anything. Just as you started to walk up the worn stairs you heard a loud thud followed by a grunt. Your feet started to move faster. You won’t admit it but you nearly tripped up the stairs. Once you got to the room Dean was in, you brought out your gun. Not knowing if the thing he was fighting would even reaction to the bullet, or if it’d even affect it. Turns out it did do something. It vanished into thin air, leaving you and a nearly out of breath Dean. “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m not sure, but whatever it was seemed to be affected by the gun,” he paused to take in a breath. “That’s a plus.” At lunch, you guys found out whatever this thing was can be stopped by a sigil. And you soon found out that Dean attempted to draw one.

Dean had drawn a sigil, yes, but it wasn’t working for some reason. “I don’t know why it didn’t work. The book said it would!” He exclaimed. So you took a look at it. Almost immediately noticing how he messed up a line. “Well if you’d fucking do it right,” you grumbled, fixing it. Dean had drawn these things for his whole life, and now he’s messing up? How does that make sense? Well, he’s just now come to realize that whenever you help them out with a hunt he always fucks up on something. Whether it’s something little or big. One time, he fucked up a ritual, another he forgot holy water. There are many other times. Dean cursed under his breath before fully speaking up.

“Stop being a dick, alright? Seriously. It’s annoying.” Dean said, watching as you fixed the sigil. “Well we wouldn’t be here if you didn’t mess up. We could’ve told Sam that you got rid of it, then went home,” you paused, but had one more sentence ready to roll of off your tongue. “Always fuckin’ something up.”

“It’s not like I meant to! God, have some empathy.” Dean nearly shouted. You decided not to respond. Standing up once you were done and turning to face Dean. You got close, really close. And Dean just let you. Hell, all he was doing was staring at your features. Your eyes, your nose, your lips. Especially your lips. But he wouldn’t admit that. “I don’t give a shit what you meant to do. I care about getting this done and going fucking home.” You whispered, lips barely touching his.

Okay, he was starting to get a boner. But so what? You don’t know, at least he thinks you don’t know. But you do. Of course you do because your you. So you know what you do? You press your lips against his, harshly. Your hand going straight down to cup his dick, squeezing probably a little too hard. But Dean loved it. You pushed him back against a fully built wall. Not one where it was coming apart. Dean moaned into your mouth, hips pushing into your hand. When you pulled away to breathe you held his bottom lip in between your teeth. Then let go once you’ve stretched it back far enough, watching as it snapped back to place. You heard Dean groan in response.

“Fucking slut. You like getting yelled at? Like getting called out for the shit you’ve done, huh?”

All Dean did was whine and fuck his hips into your hand. You couldn’t lie, your dick was starting to leak from how Dean was reacting. You wanted to do something about it, no, had to. So you pushed your lips against his again. The hand that was one his crotch undid his belt and pants, then you used both hands to push down his pants and boxers all in one swift motion. The feel of the cold air on his throbbing, twitching cock made him wince. You didn’t care. Moving to undo your own pants yourself.

Your cocked bobbed once it was free. “Fuck, baby, you see what you do to me?”

Dean swallowed. “You gonna fuck me good? Make me feel what you did to me even days after?”

“Course.” You replied, knowing that you’ll keep that promise you just made. Before Dean could respond, you spit in your hand then proceeded to reach down and grip his cock. Your spit and his pre worked well together, creating nearly the perfect lube. Dean cursed under his breath—letting out a broken moan and making his head go back. With his head going back you saw it as an opening to go for his neck, so that’s what you did. Pressing opened mouth kisses, and soon sucking hickeys. Which was a complete bad idea because you guys were not supposed to be fucking, instead hunting. In the heat of the moment Dean didn’t seem to care, but you know once he realizes he��ll flip, and you’ll be in deep shit. But that’s a future problem.

His hands quickly scrambled to your shoulders when your pointer finger and thumb squeezed his tip. You don’t know why you did it, perhaps just for the fun of it. Dean refused to let you hear anymore noises from him. So, he turned to biting his lip instead. Though that did very little once you took his legs, propped them up on your hips, and spit on your fingers.

“Oh, fuck..” Dean whispered.

“What? Can’t take some dick? I’d assume you could, y’know? With all those people you’d fuck,” you paused, and without any warning shoved a finger into his hole. “I wouldn’t be surprised if one of those girls wanted to reverse the roles. Ya catch my drift?” A teasing smile playing on your face. All Dean did was groan and wince.

You didn’t care, only using him for your own pleasure. Did he know that? Maybe. Maybe not. His reaction only made you want to add the second a lot quicker, but you decided to wait a few seconds. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. While your finger worked you went back to his neck. Pressing kisses, biting and sucking hickeys. When you added the second? Oh, he about made sure Sam could hear him from across the street. Moaning and groaning so damn loud.

“Shut up. I mean, unless you wanna get caught, then I can make that happen,” you leaned in closer to his ear. “Besides, you’re just going to be showing your brother what kind of a slut you really are.”

And to that Dean let out a drawn out groan. “Fuck you,” he spat.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Me talking down on you. Who knew that the big, bad Dean Winchester likes being degraded.” You continued to annoy him because why not? Something that you picked up when you have sex with someone is that although you can be an asshole during it, it turns out to be the best sex they’ve ever had. For you it was just another reason to be cocky.

You soon add the third, not caring if he was ready for it or not. Or maybe it was because you forgot? Oh well. Either way he’s got three fingers up his ass, and he seemed to be enjoying it. But the grip that he’s holding on your shoulders was tight. Not that you really minded it. Once he was nice and prepped you spit into your hand again. Making sure it was enough to lube your cock up, but even if it wasn’t your pre helped. Making your hand glide up and down your dick. Then, you aligned your tip with his hole, and started pushing in agonizingly slow.

“Fuckfuckfuck..” is all that you heard in your ear. You stopped about half way, not to give Dean a moment but because he felt so fucking tight even though you’ve prepped him. Your hand went to his cock—beginning to stroke him. Meanwhile you soon began to push your hips forward, pushing your cock deeper till you bottomed out. The added pleasure causing Dean to let out a broken moan. He chased after your lips. Feeling a sense of an overwhelming need to feel you closer to him. The kiss was rough, heated. The both of you loved every minute of it. Teeth clanking together, breaking away to breathe for a quick moment before pushing your lips together again, the harsh pull of someone’s bottom lip while the other pulled away. When you pulled away to look at Dean, his lips were swollen and even more pink than before. Not that it mattered, just something you noticed.

Also, throughout the whole time you two were kissing, Dean had gotten drawn closer to cumming. The mix feeling of your cock driving in and out of him, and the glide of your hand in his cock all made it much easier. To which he soon came with a moan that died down to a whimper. His cock twitching and throbbing within your hold as white spurts of cum got onto his shirt. Which is another problem you two need to fix before regrouping with Sam. You could practically feel him pulsating in your hand. He nearly panted into your mouth with how close you two were. Your thrusts didn’t let up and neither did your hand. Even when he started to warn you about the overwhelming sensation he was beginning to feel.

“Okay— I..uhm!” It was obvious Dean started to speak, but once your cock hit his prostate it turned into a hum. With Dean getting more squirmy, it made it difficult to keep him up in your grip. “Uh, uh. I haven’t even came yet. You’re gonna have to wait.” You reminded. Your thrusts got more faster and rough with you nearing your orgasm. That bullet must’ve really affected whatever that was, because you two have been going at it for quite some time. Hopefully Sam moved onto a different house by now, and not questioning where you two were.

“Who,” you say, following up with a thrust to match when you spoke. “Knew that Dean, a complete ladies man, can take some cock? Your like a bitch in heat. Every time I hunt with you guys, you’re always going away to fuck some whore while Sam’s doin’ all the work.” With one, two more thrusts and your cock abusing his prostate, the both of you came at the same time. You letting out a groan and Dean letting out a whimper. The feeling of your cum painting his walls made him clench, which caused you to let out a grunt. The two of you were panting, breathing heavily. You still had some stamina. Dean on the other hand you weren’t to sure of.

But to you, it wouldn’t be fair if he got to cum twice, and you only got to cum once. So you moved the both of you to a sturdy looking table. Hopefully it didn’t collapse with the added weight of Dean. Anyway, you set him down on it. He was on his back and his legs automatically wrapped back around your waist. But you wanted to switch up, grabbing his legs and hooking them over both your shoulders. You gave no warning—slowly beginning to push your cock into him again before starting to speed up. Dean let out a groan, closed his eyes and put his head back. His eyebrows drawn up slightly. You wouldn’t admit it but it was beautiful. Reducing a man that was stubborn and feared by most, to a squirmy, panting, and whimpering mess. It was like you earned a trophy.

“What? You thought we were done?” You scoffed. Tightening your grip on his thighs to the point where he’d probably bruise. Not a problem for you but a problem for him. “We— oh, God.” Dean breathed out. He swallowed before finishing his sentence. “We have to get back. What if something happened to Sam. What if-“

“None of that. Sam can handle himself.” You attempted to reassure. Which probably did not work but hey, you tried. Your hands trailed down his thighs to his sides. Which caused you to move your body down on top of his, of course you made sure to keep his legs on your shoulders. It helped push your cock deeper into him. And oh, the face he made nearly made you cum on the spot. Your lips brushed over his jawline, pressing kisses all the way down to his neck. Which already had marks in which you made not to long ago. You decided to give him one more, or maybe two. One by his collarbone and one on his inner thigh.

You should probably be thinking of ways to help him hide the very few marks on his neck and down, but instead you can’t help but think of how much of a whore he is, and how good he feels around you. It was like he was made for you. Dean’s jaw hung open but no sound came out. His hands gripped the edge of the table, he wouldn’t be surprised if he were to get a splinter. He tried to keep his mind off of the fact that he was currently getting fucked so, so good and his brother was probably working his ass off, but it was difficult. The feeling of guilt slowly started to seep into his body. But when you hit the spot within him, and soon spilled into him once more, it took his mind off of the thought. Dean arched his back and clenched his jaw; not daring to let out any noise for you. Even though he’d been doing it for nearly the whole time you’ve been having sex. You stayed buried in him till the both of you got your breathing under control.

You pulled out with a soft moan. Dean looked like he was about to fall asleep. So you playfully slapped his face a few times. Surprisingly the only thing he did was make a face. “Up.” You said. Soon enough after a few seconds he pulled himself up, the table creaking. How were you gonna clean this up? Who knew. But you two would figure it out. For the dried cum in his shirt you suggested he button up his jacket until you guys got back. Other than that you two found a way to clean everything.

—

The two of you walked out of the house. The earlier activities causing Dean to walk with a very clear limp. With the thing you guys faced it must’ve moved on, but once you met up with Sam again he explained that he got rid of it.

“What’s up with you?” Sam asked Dean, a look of confusion displayed on his face.

“He tripped.” You answered for him. Earning a small ‘huh’ and a look up and down at Dean from Sam. Then all of you walked toward the car. Ready for a shower, sleep, and maybe even a celebration at a nearby bar.

—

About an hour later once all of you took showers and changed clothes, you brought up how you all earned a nice drink and some food. In response to that, you all got in the car and drove to a nearby bar. Dean was the first to order food, then Sam, then you. While you all waited Sam started a conversation.

“So..why’d you guys take so long in the house? I cleared mine in like fifteen minutes, and I’m only one person.” He scoffed.

“Uhm, difficulties,” Dean answered, though it sounded more like a question rather than statement.

“We were pretty taken back when we got attacked by it. It caught us off guard, so we took some time to get back on our feet.” You lied. And it was quite concerning how good you lie, but it was a nice feature to have. Sam hummed in response, deciding it was a pretty good reason. “Well, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” You announced, getting up from your seat.

The moment you started to unzip your pants the door opened. You didn’t turn around to look, focusing on emptying your bladder. But then hands went to your hips. It caught you off guard and you were ready to start throwing punches, but once a familiar voice whispered into your ear, you relaxed a bit.

“Did you come back for more? Can’t get enough of me, can you?” You teased. Letting out a small laugh.

“Shut up,” Dean paused. “Just need to…release some pressure.” You zipped back up your pants, clearly not being able to piss in peace. But you knew you’d probably be unzipping them sooner or later again. With a shake of your head you pushed him into a stall. Locking it then shoving him against it. You pressed your lips against his. Your hands ran down his chest all the way to his belt. Unbuckling it and breaking away from the kiss.

“Gotta make this quick,” you reminded. The minute you got his cock free and started to jerk him off he let out a sigh, and let his head go back against the stall door. His hips instinctively pushing up into your hand. “Can’t even keep it in your pants for a few hours. I thought you were better than this, Dean.” The mix of your tone and the way his name rolled off of your tongue he couldn’t help but whine. Your dick started to get hard in your pants, unfortunately you didn’t want to do anything with it. Just a quick handjob for a guy who can’t help himself. He got close, quick. Just as he let out a moan you heard the door to the bathroom open. Quickly moving your free hand to his mouth. Luckily the guy did his business quickly, but for Dean it felt like forever. Even though your hand was still moving up and down his throbbing cock. Speaking of which, the familiar feeling made itself known in Dean. The moment the person left you moved your hand, and Dean let out a small whine. He chased after his orgasm. Thrusting his hips up involuntarily to feel more. More noises spilled from his lips; a lot frequent and louder.

Just a few more jerks of your hand and—

You pulled back.

“Oh— what the hell?” He groaned. His cock throbbed and jumped, begging for release and attention. But you simply gave him a kiss, moved him out of the way and walked out of the bathroom. Returning to your seat at the table with Sam and leaving Dean with a hard-on. All you could say or think was that it wasn’t your problem.

“Everything all good?” Sam asked.

“Perfect.” You answered.

[alicia-18]

Second Choice — Eminem x Reader

Summary; Y/N was used to being a second choice to everyone, so it didn’t surprise her at all when Marshall broke off their situationship in order to give things a try with Kim again. But she was surprised by the emotions that came with it.

Warnings; this fic will include mentions of domestic violence (not between Em and Y/N), drug and alcohol abuse, adult content, swearing, idiots in love, and moments where you hate both Eminem and yourself :)

Chapter One; Keeping things normal

You hadn’t expected to see Marshall that day. He hadn’t been at the studio for an entire month since he went back in Detroit, starting from the day he officially ended things with you. It wasn’t like you guys were anything serious anyways, you hadn’t ever even been in a relationship with Eminem. Sure, once you started sleeping with him, you stopped entertaining anyone else, but that was just because you were far too busy with your album to have more than one guy on the go. And yes, after a couple months of your entanglement, Marshall had even stopped seeking out other females. But neither of you told the other that. That would have made things far too complicated considering you both were signed to Aftermath Entertainment and Dre had warned you multiple times about mixing work with pleasure. But you both had waved him off, claiming that wouldn’t be an issue as neither of you were really that invested in the other.

Boy, do you wish you’d listened to him now. Because almost tipping your coffee over him would have been mildly less mortifying if you hadn’t began sleeping with him. Both Proof and Dre didn’t bother hiding their chortles as you both collided — you were on your way out whilst Em was on his way in. You had managed to get the coffee over just your shirt and the floor, missing Marshall’s white top completely.

“Fuck that shit is hot!” You cursed, and immediately peeled your shirt off to get the hot liquid that was seeping through it and burning your chest off of you. This left you standing in just your low rise jeans and black laced bra for the three men to see. Oblivious as usual, you didn’t see the various looks the men gave you as you squatted down and mopped up the little puddle of coffee from the floor.

“Jesus Christ woman.” Em cursed, before peeling off his shirt off and thrusting it towards you as you stood. You furrowed your brows at him, baffled by the act.

“What are you doing?” You questioned, not taking the fabric. He frowned before placing it directly in your hands and taking a step away before you could give it back.

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Tryna give everyone a free show and shit.” His words shot an unexpected wave of confusion through you. Why the hell should he care if you were giving out free shows or not? Who was he to say what you could or couldn’t do?

“Grow up, it’s just Proof and Dre.” You scoffed with a lighthearted chuckle, chucking his shirt back at him and putting your coffee cup down. You walked over to the sink and began running the stain under water.

“It seems like keeping things normal is going well, Slim.” Proof joked, earning a stern stare from his childhood friend. Not that he cared, he never was one to mince his words or conceal his opinion.

“Why wouldn’t things be normal?” You asked, turning back around and crossing your arms. Both Dre and Proof stared at you like you were being thick, whilst Marshall’s jaw seemed to be set. Neither men looked lower than your face, but that didn’t stop him feeling wildly uncomfortable at you being in your underwear for them and anyone else who walked in to see.

“‘Cause yall have been getting all kinds of freaky for months and now ya ain’t.” Dre said like it was completely obvious. Which it was, of course. But your defence mechanism had always been to act as if nothing ever affected you. It was how you managed to be stood infront of them both shirtless.

“Dre man—“ Eminem began, but you were quick to cut him off. You wouldn’t have the narrative be you were being left behind like some abandoned puppy. You were a strong woman, you didn’t need a man to feel secure in life. You didn’t want to appear like you needed anyone’s pity.

“Oh please, it was only a few months. I ain’t no obsessed little girl.” You rolled your eyes, laughing as if their insinuations were completely unbelievable. “For real though, I don’t want you guys making it awkward. Em and I had our chat, we’re all good. I just don’t want you assholes making things seem deeper than it was. ‘Specially if Kim starts showing her face round here.” You chuckled at the end, though mentioning Kim seemed to be a mistake as Marshall straightened up. Both the other men momentarily flicked their eyes to him, preparing for the explosive response most people received when mentioning his wife.

Instead, he threw his top back to you, which you instinctively caught, and chuckled slightly. “What she said, man. Ain’t nothing deep.” He shrugged, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “But as your friend, Y/N, that bra is too small for you. We’ve all been able to see the top of your nips the whole time so unless you want the whole studio seeing, just wear my shirt.” He smirked as he spoke, the expression only widening as you gasped and rushed to pull the top over your head. It was far too big on you, but atleast you weren’t fully exposing yourself now.

“Well, thank you for that, buddy.” You emphasised buddy, which made Dre and Proof stifle laughs, and left the room with your coffee.

“You ain’t slick man.” Proof cackled with a shake of his head. Marshall shrugged, leaning back in his chair and lifting his feet up to the table.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.” He denied.

“Em you know we couldn’t see shit, you just didn’t want her walking around in a lacy bra.” Dre pointed out, though Marshall just leant back further in his chair with his eyes closed and arms behind his head.

“Shut up, man.”

MASTERLIST

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being a black belt and joining Cobra Kai

Cobra Kai x reader

warnings:

a/n: takes place roughly season 2 yeehaw. EMCON I HOPE U LOVE THIS

prompt: @the-radio-star: “*rises from the dead to send in a cobra kai request* could I please request Cobra Kai headcanons for being a new student in the Valley who was a black belt back home on the East Coast? thank youuuuuu!!!! COBRA KAI NEVER DIES”

you were da new kid in the valley

and you were actively seeking a new dojo

and what better dojo to pick than the one that won the “all valley championship” or whatever? i mean, it’s gotta be good, right?

one day after class, you visited this “cobra kai” dojo and recognized a few kids from your new school

and perfect timing as summer was just around the corner

“hey, new kid! joining our dojo? here to learn some karate?” -hawk

“actually, i’m a black belt” -you

“hah, nice one!” -hawk, followed by deafening silence “you’re serious?”

“yeah, uh, where’s your sensei?” -you

“he’s in his office, follow me” -miguel “sensei, a newcomer”

“hell yeah, come on in” -johnny “starting your karate journey with cobra kai, not a bad choice”

“actually, i’m a black belt back home. i just moved here from the east coast and i needed a new…dojo home. you guys won a tournament recently?” -you

“we sure as shit did!” -johnny

“well, i’ve won a few tournaments back home. i also have a letter of recommendation and my sensei’s contact information if you need verification or something that i’m—” -you, abruptly cut off

“nah, i don’t need all that shit. just come out onto the mat and i’ll have you fight our champion. that’ll tell me what i need to know” -johnny

you followed his instructions and walked out to the mat where his class was waiting. he instructed them to make room for a spar and called miguel up.

“class, this is…uh, what was your name?” -johnny

“y/n” -you

“this is y/n from all the way on the east coast…somewhere vague. says their a black belt in karate. won a few tournaments. we’re about to put that to the test” -johnny

you and miguel took fighting stances and once “fight” was called, you quickly took action to prove yourself. a few showy moves, then straight for the victory.

miguel was on his back on the mat in less than 10 seconds

“well, i’m inclined to believe you, y/n. come to my office, we’ll fill out some paperwork and get you a gi. miguel, you can lead warmups so long as you don’t get knocked on your ass again today” -johnny

“yes, sensei” -miguel

“man, i’m glad i didn’t have to fight them. that must have been embarrassing” -hawk

“shut up, man. sensei is mad at you, too. don’t push it.” -miguel

honestly, you were very surprised by the karate culture of the valley

“is��is this why my mom had to sign a waiver?” -you standing in front of a fucking cement truck “is this even legal?! is this how you guys train??”

“just don’t draw attention’s to yourself and you’ll be fine” -bert

“yeah, sounds like a plan. and what’s this old guy’s story?” -you, pointing at kreese

“dude. you’re gonna get me drowned in cement” -bert, scooting away

anyways, joining the dojo did help you make some new friends

and you loved these beach days with your classmates

“dude, dating the daughter of your sensei’s arch nemesis is kind of crazy. like, what are the odds of that” -you

“can we not talk about sam anymore?” -miguel

“you’re literally the one that brought her up, we were just trying to play volleyball” -you

dojo days really started to become your favorite

sensei lawrence was comedy gold

“does he actually think ‘hashtag’ is ‘hashbrown?’” -you

“just…don’t” -aisha

you loved how cut and dry he was

and how he just insults everyone unapologetically

“yeah, sensei, you tell ‘em!” -you after johnny calls someone else a pussy

you actually started to get in the groove of rivalry

but like you didn’t 100% know it was serious and like, very deep seated hate like you thought it was a bit

“yeah we should burn their dojo down!” -you, trying to fit in

“i like how you think, lets do it!” -hawk

“wait, no, i was joking” -you

“hahah, yeah…me too” -hawk, lying

during valley fest you guys but on like, a really badass show and you honestly loved the vibes

but like, this wasn’t like any dojo you’ve seen before

“it’s gotta be a west coast thing. or like, a california thing” -you to your parents

you became one of johnny’s favored students fast

and when tory joined up, she also fought miguel

“does sensei just let miguel beat up all the new recruits? what is the sense behind that? tory doesnt even have karate experience.” -you

“neither did miguel and he won the all valley” -aisha

“HE DIDNT HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE??” -you

what do you mean the all valley top 3 were all new to karate???

who else was in this tournament????

you went to the beach/resort with aisha and tory and it was actually a good time. you were glad to make friends over the summer

“aisha, i never want to leave this place. summer in california is awesome” -you

“compared to where you came from? i’d be in awe too” -tory

“uh, that was rude” -you “but true”

meeting sam after hearing miguel complaining was surreal

“that’s her? he didn’t mention she hated fun” -you

johnny let you lead class sometimes

which kind of gave you an ego boost he encouraged

you be glaring at sensei kreese tho that guy didn’t have the right vibe

“good job today, y/n” -kreese

“yeah, i know” -you

you were pretty excited for the prospects of the next all valley

which you wish you didn’t miss by a hair this year you could have kicked miguel and robby’s asses

“i would have won the last all valley” -you

“doubt it” -miguel

“i knocked you on your ass five minutes after meeting you” -you

“that wasn’t a tournament” -miguel

“just you wait” -you

you called home every once in a while to update your friends from school and your dojo friends

“what? cement truck? that’s not legal, y/n, you need to contact the police” -old friend

“nah, it’s fine, i had fun” -you

definitely raised concern in your former sensei, but you told everyone it was chill

“it’s cool to learn a different take on karate. very…badass” -you

you were being converted (?)

or would you stick to your roots

only time would tell

you learned more and more about the local karate drama and you were SAT with all this tea

“yeah, and so, don’t tell anyone this, by the way. or else i will kick your ass” -hawk, beginning to whisper “robby keene is sensei lawrence’s kid. shut the fuck up tho dont tell a single soul”

“WHAT” -you

that knowledge had you on the floor with a diagram of drama to connect the dots

“ok so in the 80s johnny was a student at cobra kai, larusso was new to the valley from jersey, starts to train in karate with a ‘mr. miyagi,’ larusso crane kicks johnny and johnny leaves cobra kai—something has to be missing from that, kreese was his sensei? he seems a little off i dont like him—johnny reopens cobra kai years later after miguel inspires him to become a sensei, miguel starts dating larusso’s daughter, johnny’s son starts working for larusso and joins his dojo, miguel and robby face off in the all valley tournament. am i missing anything?” -you

“you’re just scratching the surface” -hawk and miguel

“get me up to speed before school starts. please” -you

you got the sam edition(tm) from aisha too

AND aisha’s very graphic rendition of her standing up to yasmine

“front wedgie…aisha how did you even think of that?” -you

honestly you wanted to observe the drama, not be apart of it

little did you know that was not really an option in CK

especially when the miyagi do dojo is defiled

you kinda side eyed hawk while johnny yelled at everyone about it. he did seem pretty enthused when you made a joke about burning down their dojo

damn, you hoped no one would bring that joke up thats actually really incriminating

anyways, johnny went on his trip with his old cobra kai homies (which u thought was really sweet you hoped in 30 years you could still be friends with your less-destructive karate buds)

you went to coyote creek with the gang for a training exercise

“you ever do anything like this back home?” -tory

“uh…not really? i mostly did weapons training, kata, some sparring…in a dojo, of course” -you

“yeah, sensei lawrence isn’t exactly the most traditional” -miguel “when i was his only student he actually tied my hands and threw me into a pool in the middle of the night when no one was around”

“HUH??” -you

once you were all deep in the forest and the rules were explained to steal headbands and such, you had a question of your own

“are there any animals or bugs native to california i should be concerned about? like, florida had alligators and their student get trained to run away in zigzags—is there anything out here that you guys have been trained to escape that i should know about?” -you

your question was laughed at but you were dead serious

u were on miguel’s team and noticed an awkward rift once the “battle” was over

“dude, what’s wrong?” -you

“this is” -miguel flashing the medal of honor he took from hawk

“is that..?” -you, connecting more dots “i think i need a notebook or something to keep up with this”

“that’s weird. don’t do that” -miguel

“noted” -you

you were shocked to hear that kreese had been booted from CK

“i wonder if miyagi do has this much drama?” -you

before the summer was over, hawk’s ex moon threw a party and you were over the moon (haha get it) to be able to meet more people before classes were back in

maybe making friends outside of the dojo was a good move

unfortunately it didn’t take long for dojo rivalry to ruin the party

we got moon’s new gf, hawk and demetri argument, sam and tory drink-off, sam and miguel kiss, and then the cops showing up

“we just cant have a non-messy outing can we? on the east coast we could just go to school, go to the dojo, go to the mall, go to parties and no one got in some weird karate driven fight” -you, complaining while running from the cops

“can you stop talking about the east coast? you’re in the valley, this is what happens in the valley” -miguel

you try a hard reset when your first day of school starts

meet up with your friends, find your classes, have a great first day of the new school year!

everything had been tense since moon’s party, but you weren’t gonna let that affect you!

until tory got on the PA and summoned sam for a karate brawl

“no fucking way. no way. i cannot be apart of this” -you

it did not take long until you were apart of this

in the hallways of your new school, terrible way to start the year, you were just trying to break it up!!!!

but as soon as someone hit you in the face all bets were off you were a menace

blah de blah blah tory cuts sam with her bracelet, robby throws miguel over the railing down the stairs, everybody gets a vibe check, miguel is in the hospital in a coma, tory is arrested, robby is on the run

miraculously you have been cleared of all wrongdoing as you talked your way out of it

“i’m new here, i don’t even know these people!! i was just scared for my life so i fought back. i could have been thrown down the stairs too, my parents could sue!!” -you

despite all your dojo rivalries, you checked in on sam when you crossed paths at the hospital. you knew how much she meant to miguel and you thought that was fucking insane

“i know we don’t really know each other from anything but karate, but i really didn’t know what was going on. im new to the valley and im trying to make friends, i never thought it’d end up like this” -you

“yeah, sometimes we make friends with the wrong people” -sam

“i grew up with karate, and cobra kai had just won this super popular tournament over here, it seemed like the right choice” -you

“i get it. i know it’s not your fault. and it’s nice to meet you now that we’re not at each other’s throats—this karate rivalry is decades old, too. i can’t even keep up with it” -sam

“you think miguel is gonna pull through?” -you

“i hope so…i dont know how i’ll go on if he doesn’t. so he has to” -sam

“i feel you there…this might be a bad time, but are there any openings at miyagi do?”

taglist: @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @sapphireplums // @ravenhood2792 // @elemental-of-magic // @mauve-galaxy-427 //

[hballegro]

"It's more than something. It's everything."

s8e11 "Life Time"

painted screenshot. cannot give a time estimate, i lost track long ago. still gouache brush, my beloved, with blur tools to fade edges and so on

i have to go to the zoo now and will be making the version with the clock later [i cannot express how long ive been battling with hawkeye's face, gamers]. background went very fast like i said it would lol

version 2 [as in, w/ clock] will probably be done later today, and i will edit this and add it when that happens [and prolly make a separate post too, for celebration purposes, and will link them]. i will also compile progress pics for that post. they are terrifying early on lmao

"A lot of very touching songs came outta that war" previous painting

"It was pink, and perfect, and I tossed it in the scrap bucket" previous painting

everyone say thank you to bj to being a perfect painting subject today he was very polite and he looks about how i wanted unlike SOME PEOPLE

that was me to my sibling last night, and i stayed up til 1:10ish and still didnt finish the final pass over hawkeye's eye. everything else took like 5ish minutes

also everyone say thank you to margaret and nurse kellye for also being perfect and lovely and pleasant to work with

photo used blatantly stolen from this post thank you again @remyfire i owe you my life

update edit;

clock back

[willyhoos]

you, and what little remains of your brother.

[fisheito]

hello... please consider... yakumo in:

the classic traditional style qipaos

the modernised and modified ones

bonus: modified hanfu

he would look wonderful wouldn't he? all the more delectable and sashimiable?

ahaha...ahah...AHAHHAH.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[27thfirefly]

pretty hate machine can be a kind of girlfriend i think

i ended up liking the gradient mapped version a lot but i also. like the original. so here

[asterbats]

i think for the shitty scorpion family, their entire dynamic is definitely toxic (heh) but also neither dusk nor bruno is an inherently terrible person? its just that they’re a) horrible together longterm as they are and b) people who should not have had kids.

[sunsetsandsunshine]

~ Just say you’re sorry ~

THIS IS FOR THE AMAZING ANON THAT INSPIRED THIS FIC SO KUDOS TO THEM 💞✨💗💕

Also tagging my fellow moots who love this HC as much as I do:

@someone1348 @tickleebug @prettychillbrainfreeze @ghostlyshylee @itzystopkiddingmenowloco

Lee’s: Leo🐢💙 and Mikey🐢🧡

Ler’s: Raph🐢❤️ and Donnie🐢💜

Summary: Raph and Donnie have been getting pranked by they’re younger brothers all day. So like the good big brothers they are, they hatch a totally not devious plan to teach they’re younger sibs a lesson.  

(A/N: AS ALWAYS- T*EST DNI YOU NASTY CREEPY WEIRDOS)

———————————————————————

“Stupid dumb-dumbs…stupid stupid dumb-dumbs…”

Raph turned around from where he was sitting on the living room couch to see his immediate younger brother- Donnie- pacing back and forth in the kitchen, holding a mug of coffee that spilled a little bit every now and again as he turned around in a pacing circle. 

The young genius was wearing his dark purple sweatshirt with the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, wearing his occasional purple mask and goggles. Raph was wearing his own mask as well, clashing with his grey/gray sweatshirt.

The snapper got up from the couch, putting his phone down and walking to his immediate younger brother. “Hey, bud…you okay?” Raph asked, putting a hand on Donnie’s shoulder as a way to show his comfort. The younger looked up at Raph and started chuckling, even though the eldest turtle was 99.9% sure nothing he just said was funny…

“What’s wrong..? What’s WRONG???” Donnie yelled, going close to Raph’s face so they’re snouts touched before stepping away from him. The softshell put his coffee mug on the counter, pacing back and forth again while his hands were behind his back. 

“Oho, I’ll tell you what’s wrong. What’s wrong my dear older brother, is that those imbeciles that I apparently have to call my younger brothers have been pulling pranks on me left and right ALL DAY. I can’t get any work done without fearing for my life that another water balloon or paint cannon is going to hit me!” Donnie said, throwing his hands up to the air before putting them back down. The purple cladded sibling sighed, rubbing a hand down his face slowly as he tried to calm himself down.

Donnie was frustrated- very very (that’s two very’s) frustrated if you couldn’t tell. The genius wanted to have a productive day; a day where he got almost all of his work done and he had the rest of the evening to spend with his family and friends. Believe it or not, the softshell actaully enjoyed spending time with his family, even if he acts like he dreads every single second of it.

But sadly, the universe didn’t want the day to go the way Donnie had originally planned. The universe had to give him not 1 but 2 younger siblings that were annoying as FU- fudge. Annoying as fudge.

Anyway, the two gremlins have been placing boobytraps and pranks all over the lair, such as sparkle canons, water balloons, whoopie cushions- you name it! And at the end of every single prank there would be this…card that mysteriously came out of nowhere. It was orange and blue and had Mikey and Leo’s faces on it, saying “You just got pranked by the Portal Pals! (P.S. L + Bozo)”

Which was…cute. It was nice that the two were having fun and spending time with each other…but WHY did they’re fun have to torture Donnie in the process?

“You too, huh?” Raph chuckled, reaching into his sweatshirt pocket and taking out a couple of Leo and Mikey’s “You just got pranked!” cards. Donnie couldn’t help but chuckle along with Raph at the sight of the cards, going over to him and resting his head on his plastron, groaning. The snapper just laughed some more, wrapping his immediate younger brother in a hug as he patted his battleshell.

“They’re. so. annoying.” Donnie whined, rubbing his hands along his face as Raph sighed. “I mean, yeah. They’re our little brothers, little bro. It’s kind of they’re job to annoy the living hell out of us, y’know?” The eldest reasoned, patting Donnie’s shoulder as he huffed, his anger starting to slip away. “Yeah…I guess so…” the softshell mumbled, taking his head up from Raph’s plastron and smiling at him.

“But hey! Look on the bright side: that doesn’t mean we can’t get payback~!” Raph exclaimed, winking at Donnie who raised one of his sharpie drawn eyebrows, curiosity and mischievousness written all over his face. “Are you implying what I think you’re implying?” Donnie asked, grinning from ear to ear. 

Raph grinned back, nodding his head in confirmation. The second-oldest turtle  smiled a bit more (this time being a kind of evil smile) as he took out his phone from his pocket, going into they’re family GC. The younger started typing up something on his phone, beginning to walk to his lab.

“Walk and talk with me, Raphie. I’ve got a plan…”

🕺🏾🐢🍕Cool Kids GC 🍕🐢🕺🏾

Today at 2:34 pm 

*🕺🏾👾Bootyyyshaker9000👾🕺🏾 is online*

Hello my fellow fam

*UrfaveChamp😘😘😘✨💙 is online*

*Mystic_Mike🎨🤩 is online*

Yoooo

Hey Don!

How are you 😁🥰?

Good good.

How’s the eyebrows working? Feelin pretty, bro?

Donnie groaned from Leo’s text, about to type “kys” in the GC to his younger twin before Raph cleared his throat, shaking his head in disapproval as they continued to walk. The softshell sighed, deleting the text before he was about to send it in the GC. 

“There. Happy?” Donnie asked as the oldest nodded, walking into the lab and both sitting on the lab’s desk chairs. “Very.”

“Anyway, what’s he even talking about, Don?” Raph asked, confused. Donnie ran a hand down his face, clicking out of messages and showing Raph a picture he took earlier. It was a pic of Donnie’s eyebrows covered in sparkles, glitter and fake gemstones- and it looked completely awful. Let’s just say the eyebrows looked like a second graders art project. 

Uh…no offense to any second grader of course…

“One of they’re sparkle canons got me…” Donnie mumbled. The softshell was so glad he was able to clean that monstrosity off- he would never be able to live that down without anyone making fun of him for it. 

Raph cackled at the picture, putting a hand to his face as he did so. “Stop laughing...” Donnie glared, taking the phone back so Raph couldn’t see the photo anymore. And if the alligator snapping turtle knew any better, he could’ve sworn that he saw a pout on his immediate younger brother's face. 

“It isn’t funny.” The pout caused Raph to giggle a bit more, booping the softshell’s snout as the younger playfully swatted his hand away. “It is a bit funny…” Raph giggled, smirking at Donnie. The second oldest just chuckled as he rolled his eyes, clicking out of his Photos app and right back to the GC.

They’re fine, actually. The sparkles really complimented my eyes.

See! Told you he would like it, Mikey!

A success in my book

Oh whatever 😒😒😒

✨Anywaysssss✨

What is it that u needed, Don?

R u okay?

Oh, yeah. I’m fine.

I just need you both to come to my lab.

I have to make a huge announcement to say to everyone.

It’s extremely important.

Raph’s already with me so I just need you two to come.

Oh! 

Okay! 

Oooh! Must be a pretty important if we’re coming to Dee’s lab…

Yes- it is important. I literally just said that.

See you in like- 15 seconds, Dee!

Wait! Raph’s w/ u right now?

Yes. Raph is with me as of right now.

Ask him for me how he likes his new room setup 😁✨ 

LMFAOAOAOAO

Raph grabbed Donnie’s phone out of his hands, his face red in embarrassment as he typed in the group chat. “What’s he talking about, man?” Donnie chuckled confused, not used to seeing his older brother so flustered. 

After the snapper was done with…whatever he was typing, his face relaxed- seeming really calm and content now. Raph cleared his throat, handing the phone back to Donnie. “We don’t talk about it.” 

KSYNDND

*KYS

THIS IS RAPH TYLINGNEN

*TYPING

KANSHSJAKSHS!!!

U KNOW ITS FUNNY BRO-BRO

I HATE YOU 2 SM LITERALLY DIE😡😡😖!!!

BAHAHAHAJSHSBDKDK

We love you tooooo Raphieee~!☺️☺️☺️😘😘💕💖💞💖💖✨✨

Donnie clicked out of the messaging app and glared at Raph. “How come I can’t type ‘kys’ in the group chat but you can!?” He asked, putting his phone on his desk and crossing his arms. “Eldest brother privileges, duh.” Raph said calmly, merely shrugging as Donnie rolled his eyes for probably the millionth time today. 

.

.

.

“What’s with the random call to Dee’s lab? Are we experimenting on something?” Leo asked excitedly, looking around the lab to see if there was anything brand new or important to test on as him and Mikey walked in. “Yeah! What is it? I wanna know!” Mikey asked as well, grinning from ear to ear waiting for either of his older brothers to answer the question.

Leo was wearing his dark blue sweatshirt, with his blue mask. Mikey was also wearing his favorite orange sweatshirt, also wearing his mask. 

Not answering any of the younger two's questions, Donnie tapped a few buttons on his wrist watch, closing the lab door behind them. The two quickly looked behind them at the door and then at each other, nervousness starting to broil up in they’re stomachs. “Don? Raph? You guys okay…?” Leo asked, his head tilting to the side in confusion as his twin and older brother just stood there staring at him and Mikey.

“So…you guys gonna keep staring at us, or are you gonna tell us why we’re here…?” Mikey said as he scratched his head in confusion. 

“Glad you two are so curious to find out why I called you here.” Donnie smiled, him and Raph getting up from they’re chairs, looking at they’re younger brothers with a deadpanned face. There was another awkward silence with all of them just staring at each other. 

The two youngest weren’t sure if they were called in Donnie’s lab for a legitimate reason or if this was some huge staring contest. Leo and Mikey exchanged worried glances, “Soooo…you gonna tell us or what?” Leo chuckled, crossing his arms trying to hide his nervousness at his twins vague answers. 

“Well, you and Mikey have been pranking me and Don a lot.” Raph said stating the obvious, only for Leo and Mikey to chuckle. “Is this what this is about? Are we in trouble or something?” Mikey giggled, nudging Leo in the elbow causing the older to snicker.

“You two aren’t in trouble per say. We just want to join in on the fun too!” Donnie smiled…a bit too sweetly. Leo crossed his arms, squinting suspiciously at his older brothers. “Join in on the fun?” The slider repeated. “Oh, but of course! The fun I’m personally thinking of starts with an r and ends with ‘evenge’. Isn’t that right, Raph?” Donnie grinned as Raph nodded his head.

Mikey gulped, “Wehell…Ihi just remembered I have to goho feed my pehet rock…so, uh…if you’ll excuse me I’ll just be on my way…” Mikey giggly said, nervously walking backwards to the opening door to the lab. Mikey attempted to open the lab door again and again but it just wasn’t budging. He turned around, trying to turn the knob but it wasn’t moving an inch. 

“The lab door is locked my dearest Angelo.” Donnie chuckled as he saw the youngest trying to pry the door open- an evil smile plastered on his face as he leaned against Raph’s side, crossing his arms. 

Well shit.

“You get Mikey, I’ll get Leo.” Raph instructed, walking towards Leo as Donnie walked towards Mikey, both of the older siblings wiggling they’re fingers slightly with huge evil grins on they’re faces. The two youngest looked at each other completely petrified, stepping away from the door and splitting up, going deeper into Donnie’s lab but making sure to keep they’re eyes on they’re “attackers.”

“Wahait! W-We cahan talk abohout thihis!” Leo giggled, putting his hands up as a way to try and stop Raph from…whatever him and Donnie were planning. Well- he did know what they were planning which is why he’s TRYING his very best not to think about it too much…

Now, don’t get Leo wrong, he can be a menace. He’s been called it many many times by different people, which he takes a LOT of pride in. And he can become even MORE a menace when he’s tickling one of his brothers. To funny remarks to rib-counting to teases. Leo was one scary of a Ler and that was just something you just couldn’t deny. 

But sadly, the universe wouldn’t allow Leo to be the only scary Ler in the family. The universe had to give him not 1 but 2 older siblings that were terrifying as FU- fudge when it came to tickling.

When it came to Raph and Donnie, they were just…vile. Finding every single possible way to tickle and fluster they’re Lee until they can’t even think straight. 

Since Raph was, like, a TITAN in turtle form, it’s completely impossible to escape him while he’s wrecking you. And since he’s the eldest he will just go on and on and ON about how he was “The best Tickle Monster.” And that stupid thing he would always do was give “Raph-berries.” Basically raspberries but he’s nibbling you as well and it was TORTUROUS. 

Now Donnie was an evil force to be reckoned with. For one, he would cheat. The softshell would use his spider arms to ping your arms up so you couldn’t squirm. And worst of all he would pretend as if him wrecking you was a whole big science experiment. Testing out his “hypothesis” or whatever other big words Donnie knew. 

So getting that out of the way, Leo knows he’s absolutely dead. Deceased. Expired. 6 feet under…

The red eared slider just knows he’s completely screwed. Based on the facial expressions, body language and overall demeanor of his older brothers, the two were out for revenge. And Leo and Mikey being more sensitive than them, (Leo being a tad bit more ticklish than Mikey), they knew they couldn’t stand a chance. All the two were doing was wiggling their fingers and Leo and Mikey were giggly messes…

“Talk about what, little brother? Talk about how you scared the living heck outta me with all those posters of Mrs. Cuddles that you put all over my room?” Raph taunted, stepping closer and closer to Leo making the younger giggle more frantically.

 “I-Ihit wahas funny though!” The younger one stammered, “Actually, now that you mention it…SHE’S RIGHT THERE, LOOK!” Leo screamed, pulling out a completely terrified look out of nowhere pointing somewhere ahead of him, pretending where he was pointing was Mrs. Cuddles.

Hey, he’s not called the Face-man for nothing! 

“Wait- WHAT? WHERE?!” Raph screamed, frantically looking around Donnie’s lab to try and spot Mrs. Cuddles. But the only thing he saw was a certain red eared slider running away from him.

Well played…

That little shit.

Before Leo could attempt to try to hide somewhere in the lab, Raph came from behind him, picking the younger up and putting him on his shoulder, carrying him to the middle of the lab where Donnie and Mikey were. Donnie already “captured” Mikey, using his spider arms to hold his arms so he couldn’t try and run away again. 

Leo started to hit the back of Raph’s shell, squirming to try and get out of the older’s hold as a bunch of giggly threats flooded out of his mouth. The snapper only rolled his eyes, poking Leo in the side causing the him to let out a surprised shriek followed by frantic laughs. “Don’t forget the position you're in, bud.”

“Yohou guhuys! Plehease dohon’t- noHO Deehee!” Mikey squealed as Donnie released him from his tech arms, sitting down on the carpet floor and pulling him into his lap as Raph did the same thing with Leo, sitting a little bit across from Donnie. Before the young genius could pin Mikey’s hands up- as he originally planned on doing, the youngest retracted into his shell, giggling smugly as Donnie tried to get him out by knocking on his shell repeatedly. 

“Hey! You can’t do that!” Donnie said, crossing his arms and glaring at his younger brother. “Toohoo bad. I juhust did.” Mikey taunted, happy he found a way to escape Donnie’s tickly wrath.

Leo, about to go into his shell too was immediately caught by Raph. The older held up his arms, grinning and raising a brow. “Where do you think you’re going, Lee?” Raph asked, chuckling as Leo plastered a nervous smile on his face. 

“Nohowhere…” The red eared slider giggled, looking around anywhere but Raph’s face before looking towards his younger brother who was soon about to break by the demon you would call Donatello.

“DeEHEE! NahAt the tUHuhUmmY!” Mikey squealed, squirming in his shell trying to get away from Donnie’s tickly fingers that were now dancing across his stomach. The older shook his head, grinning at the sound of the youngers frantic laughter.

“Then get out of your shell and fight like a real man!” Donnie taunted, which only caused Mikey to whine throughout his giggles but not coming out of his shell. Suddenly, Donnie stopped tickling his tummy, poking at the boxer turtle’s lower rib. “Boop.”

The younger's reaction was almost immediate as he came out of his shell completely to grab at Donnie’s wrists. “There we go~! See! Was that so hard?” Donnie smiled innocently, using his spider arms to pin Mikey’s arms up. Donnie just smiled at Mikey as Raph let go of Leo to begin tickling his sides.

“Pfft- nohohoho!” Leo giggled, hugging his middles and squirming a bit as Raph lightly scratched around his sides. The older one laughed in amusement, raising a brow and grinning at his reaction. “No? No, what? You two brought this upon yourselves!”

“Oho screw ohohoff!” Leo retorted, pushing at Raph’s wrists as Donnie just continued to look at the youngest, not doing anything quite yet. 

“Whahat?” Mikey asked, looking at his older brother who’s face looked like he was solving the worlds hardest math problem- but the genius probably did stuff like that for fun anyway.

“Hm? Oh…nothing. Just trying to remember where you’re most ticklish, Angelo…I can’t quite seem to remember…” The softshell muttered, crossing his arms and looking up intensely at his midnight purple ceiling.

“Wha-?! Whahat ahare yohou tahahalking about??? Yohou know my worst spot!” Mikey giggled, rolling his eyes at his brother who only shook his head. “My apologies, Mikey. I sadly do not. But…perhaps you could possibly tell me?” Donnie smiled, a smile which only caused Mikey’s face to go a bright red. “I aham nohot telling! Yohou already know!” 

Donnie laughed at the younger one’s answer, starting to trace his fingers along the place where Mikey’s shell met his neck- a known melt spot spot for the youngest. Mikey giggled slightly at the sensation, squirming a bit under Donnie’s hold. 

"Are you ticklish anywhere else?" Donnie asks, not stopping his tracing, looking down at his younger brother’s face that indeed looked like a tomato- which is really weird because he hasn’t even tickled him for that long!

“Noho! I’m not! Juhuhust lemme gohoho!” Mikey squealed, kicking his legs trying oh so desperately to get off his older brother’s lap. “No? You're lying to me, aren't you?" Donnie chuckles, still not stopping as he continued to trace Mikey’s melt spot. 

“I bet you're super ticklish. I just need to find the right spots! Just tell me where, and I'll be sure to avoid it like the plague." He pauses, giving the younger a chance to tell him where he was ticklish (because Donnie obviously didn’t know!). His voice was low and teasing now, a playful, taunting inflection in his words. "Or should I just start tickling you until I find out myself?"

Mikey just giggled, shaking his head and stomping his feet on the ground- determined to try and escape while he still could. “That's a yes, then?" Donnie chuckles, smiling a little to himself. "Alright, I'm going to take your lack of response as permission to tickle you." The softshell merely said as he now started to tickle the younger’s exposed underarms.

“HeHEY!” The boxer turtle shrieked, trying his best to squirm away from his older brother. “ThaHAT TIHIckles yohoU BiHIHiG jeHerk!” Mikey cried, regretting his words as soon as they came out. 

“Does it?" Donnie chuckles in fake surprise, continuing to tickle Mikey’s underarms, his hands being gentle- not getting to his worst spots…not yet at least. “You really shouldn’t have said that, Mike~!” He remarks, smiling as the younger one only laughed more at the tease. The second oldest soon began to pick up the pace of his tickly fingers, laughing as Mikey tried to hide his face in his elbow- not being able to hide them in his hands since his arms were pinned up.

“What are you squirming around for, hm?” I vividly remember you saying you weren’t ticklish anywhere else…” Donnie stated matter-of-factly. “IHI LIhihiED, AhaLRIGHT? Ihi lihihIED- dOHOn PLEHease! QuiHIT IHIT!” The younger admitted, his laugh muffled from hiding his face away in his arms.

“Do you hear that, Raph? This little shit lied to me! Can you believe that?!” Donnie cried dramatically before lightly scratching his fingers at the sides of Mikey’s neck- making the younger let out a high-pitched squeal; not hiding in his arm anymore as he threw his head back in full blown laughter. 

“I wouldn’t be lying to Donnie if I were in your position, Mike. Just saying.” Raph said casually as if there wasn’t a red eared slider in his lap, laughing his shell off and squirming like he’s being electrocuted. 

“And you. Stop squirming so much! Your making it hard to get your good spots!” Raph playfully scolded down at Leo, tickling at the younger’s ribs, chuckling as Leo grabbed his wrists and uselessly tried to pull them away. 

“Ihi’m gOHOnna gEhet yohOU guhuys baHAHAck soho bahahad yoHOu’ll wiHIsh yohOU neHEver knew meehee!” Leo threatened, lightly punching the air in hopes to hit Raph. Which- none of them did. But hey, A for effort, right?

“Oho I bet you are.” Raph laughed sarcastically as he began to tickle Leo’s stomach. “Someone has a ticklish tum-tum, I see~?” Raph teased as Leo’s face began to go almost as red as the oldest’s bandanna. “DOOHOO *snort* naHAT CAHaLL IhiT THAHAT!” Leo squealed, kicking his legs and throwing his head back in hysterics. 

“RAHAHPHIEEEE! PLEHEASE! STAHAP IHIT!” Leo cried, still trying to grab at Raph’s hands as they were lightly pushed out of the way each time he tried. Raph smirked as the younger pleaded, only making Raph tickle his stomach more lightly- almost feather-like. 

“I will stop as soon as you and Mikey apologize!” Raph smiled. “Agreed. As soon as you two apologize, we’ll stop reminding you two just how ticklish you are.” Donnie exclaimed as he began to knead Mikey’s thighs. The box turtle shrieked, kicking his legs in hopes that the kicking will make it harder for Donnie to tickle him there. 

“NAHAHA! DEEHEE! NAHAT *squeak* THEHEHERE!” Mikey squealed, still kicking his legs but Donnie’s hands stayed firm as he began to knead harder. “IHIT TIHIHICKLES! DAHANNIE *squeak* PLEHEASE *squeak* STAHAP!”

“Hm? What? What’s so funny Angelo?” Donnie asked, looking back at his younger brother who- by the way- looked like a full on turtle tomato. “WEEHEE’RE SORRY!” Mikey cackled. Donnie nodded his head, looking at Raph but not stopping tickling Mikey. 

“Hey, did Leo apologize yet?” Donnie asked. “Nope! Which I think is a bit rude considering your situation don’t you think, Leo?” Raph asked, stopping tickling Leo to let him breathe as Donnie did the same with Mikey. 

“Yohou are thehe woHORST older brohohother eveher…” Leo giggled at Raph, knowing he was absolute dead meat after that comment but couldn’t help himself. Mikey made a teasing ‘ooooh~!’ sound, giggling at Leo’s comment to they’re eldest brother. 

“Personally, I wohohould nohot tahake that amount of disrespect…” Mikey giggled as Raph only sighed, shaking his head before smirking. Raph flipped Leo around so that his shell was facing the ceiling- and as he did so Leo felt as if his soul left his entire body. 

Leo and his big mouth…

“AHAHA! NOHO! NOHO WAHAIT *snort* A SEHEHECOND!” Leo panicky giggled, kicking his legs and lightly punching on Raph’s thighs. “Waitwaitwaitwait- lehet’s tahalk- RahaHAHAPH! RAHAHAPH WAHAHAIT!” Leo giggly panicked, his laughter increasing as Raph slowly lowered his head to the back Leo’s knees, ALMOST touching it with his face. 

“What? Wait for what?” Raph grinned, waiting for Leo to reply but the only response he got from the slider was snorting cackles. Raph took a deep breath before blowing a raspberry on the back of Leo’s knees, causing the younger turtle to go absolutely mad in laughter. Leo covered his face with his hands, muffled cackles bouncing around the walls along with Mikey’s squeaky cackles as Donnie gave raspberries to Mikey’s stomach. 

“Jeeheez…you guys are really ticklish, huh~? I wonder how long they could last…what do you think, Don?” Raph asked before going back to blowing raspberries on the slider’s knees, not showing him any mercy now. 

“I estimate about 3 more minutes or so…but it doesn’t really matter because I don’t plan on stopping until I hear an apology from Leo~!” Donnie tauntingly sang, laughing as Leo and Mikey’s laughs became more louder after that. “Besides, these two had what was coming to them for a while.” 

Mikey absolutely paled at Donnie’s tease. This wasn’t fair! This wasn’t fair one bit! He already apologized! He surrendered!But because of Leo’s stupid comment and the denial that’s he’s the most ticklish out of all 4 of them, they’ll probably be here for an hour! 

“LEEHEEO! LEEHEEON *squeak* PLEHEHEASE! JUHUHUST AHAPOHOL- *squeak*” Mikey cackled as Donnie began to blow raspberries on Mikey’s ribs now, scribbling his fingers along his sides too.

“So? What’s it gonna be, Leo? Have you had enough?” The eldest asked as Leo only glared at him through his laughter, throwing his head back again. Leo shook his head, banging his fists on the carpet. The poor slider was trying to act high and mighty but was still squirming like a fish out of water trying to get back into the ocean…

Or, in this case, trying not to get tickled to pieces.

“Stop squirming, Leo. You aren’t going anywhere. I could do this allllll day.” Raph teased as he blew another raspberry on Leo’s stomach. “Well, scientifically speaking, you can.” Donnie said, stopping giving Mikey raspberries but still tickling his stomach with both hands. 

“I was doing some research for um…scientific purposes and I figured out that alligator snapping turtles and softshell turtles can hold they’re breaths for an hour. So, as long as we take certain breaths now and again we could blow raspberries on Leo and Mikey’s ticklish tummies for as long as we-“

“WEEHEE GEHET IHIT!!!” The two youngest screamed, not wanting to hear anymore of Donnie’s “scientific discoveries” about how him and Raph were the most devious ticklish monsters on the planet.

Donnie and his dumb-dumb research.

“Huh…you don’t say…” Raph smiled, trying to test Donnie’s theory about the whole “not needing to breath thing for an hour” thing. He blew probably like the millionth raspberry on Leo’s stomach. 

 And…Donnie was right! Not that he had one single doubt on his immediate younger brother’s genius of course! It just sounded too good to be true! He will definitely be using this tactic on Leo and Mikey in the future…and maybe April too! He’s definitely not scared of the aftermath of when he does that to her… 

Raph smiled, not being taking a single breath as he continued to give a raspberry to the back of one of Leo’s knees. Raph was enjoying this new skill he could do very well! Leo on the other hand…was going absolutely ballistic.

“NAHAO, *snort* AHANYWHERE *snort* EHELSE! NAHAT *snort* THEHE KNEEHEEHEES!” Leo screamed, punching Raph’s thighs lightly again. “Awh~? Why not~? Is this a bad spot, Lee?” Raph teased into Leo’s knees, finding this whole situation quite amusing indeed. 

“OHOMIGAHAHA-!!! YEHES! IHIT’S *snort* SOHO FREEHEEAKING BAHAHAD!” Leo cackled, not knowing what to do but just laugh and kick his legs. He was absolutely defenseless! There was nothing more he could do but just take it! “So…it tickles? Would you say this tickles too~?” Raph asked as he began to nibble at the back of Leo’s knees along with giving raspberries at the same time. Or, “Raph-berries” if you  will. 

“RAHAHAPH! NAHAH- *snort* IHI HAHATE YOHOHAHAH!” Leo snorted, his hands starting to flap against the carpet floor, making light thumping noises. 

Raph laughed, a smile still plastered on his face- but instead of that eat shit-and-die” expression he had on earlier, this smile was way more fond. 

Fun fact: Anytime Leo was tickled by his siblings, he younger would start happy stimming with his hands. His siblings think it’s the most adorable thing ever- much to Leo’s disagreement.

And it was so funny because he couldn’t even deny that he hated being tickled (even though he did anyway)! The evidence was right there!

“You didn’t answer my question, little bro! Does it tickle?” Raph pressed on, eager to get an answer out of his younger brother. “ *YEHES! MY GAHAHAD! OHOBVIOUSLY!” Leo screamed, still trying to kick Raph off of him.

“Just making sure!” The oldest smiled sweetly, still not stopping his new ability on  the second youngest’s knees. Leo whined throughout his cackles, covering his face once more. “Don’t be like that, little bud! You know you love it!” Raph teased. 

“NAHAO *snort* THE HEHEHELL IHI *snort* DOHOHON’T!” Leo screamed, happy stimming with his hands again.

“Your body language says otherwise, bud.” Raph teased back. 

Back with the PB&J Duo, Donnie an idea sparked in the genius’ head. His eyes sparkled as he grinned at Mikey- causing the youngest to gulp in nervousness. He knew what his older brother was planning…

“Dohonatello- Dohon’t yohou dahahare…” Mikey warned, glaring at Donnie as a warning. But that so-called warning only made Donnie laugh. “Oh I dare. Oh I so, so dare, Angelo.” Donnie taunted before blowing raspberries on Mikey’s plastron where his ribs would be. 

The younger let out a glass shattering squeal, causing Donnie and everyone in the lab to flinch a bit. But like Leo- Mikey can’t really do anything but just laugh at this point. 

“PLEHEHEHEASE! DAHAN- *squeak*! STAHAP!” Mikey cackled, kicking Donnie in the side with his knees which only caused Donnie to chuckle. “I think our little brothers have mutated into a pig and mouse.” Raph laughed, both him and Donnie laughing at the comment- because they couldn’t really deny that fact that. 

“OKAHAY! OKAHAY!” Leo screamed, his hands flapping on Raph’s thighs repeatedly. The older chuckled at the gesture, fighting every ounce of him not to take a picture with Donnie’s phone right now at the younger’s adorableness. “Okay, what Lee~?”

“IHIHI’M SAHAHARRY!!” Leo snorted, his hands still flapping happily and Raph couldn’t help but laugh fondly at it. “Should we let them go, Raphie?” Donnie asked, still nibbling at Mikey’s plastron but eyes on Raph, waiting for his answer. 

“Yeheah, we should. We don’t want to accidentally kill them...” Raph said to his immediate younger brother, chuckling at his own joke. The two oldest stopped tickling the two youngest, letting the two just relax in they’re laps; trying to catch they’re breaths.

“Oho my gohod….” Leo breathed out, turning to his side so he could see both Donnie and Mikey. Raph laughed as he rubbed the younger one’s head; trying to soothe him. The younger teen squirmed, holding Raph’s wrist as the older laughed some more. “I’m not gonna tickle you, bud.” He said, continuing to rub Leo’s head as the red eared slider stopped holding his wrists, excepting the gesture. 

“Thahat was fuhun!” Mikey giggled with Leo, sitting up and leaning on Donnie’s plastron- now being able to use all of his limbs. The softshell then used his spider arms to give the pranking duo two glasses of water- which the two happily accepted. 

“Speak fohor yourself…” Leo giggly grumbled, putting the finished glass of water to the side after drinking it and leaning on Raph’s plastron. 

“So! I guess now you two know not to mess with your older brothers, right?” Donnie asked, wrapping Mikey in a hug before lightly squeezing his sides, causing the younger to let out a screech. “YeHES! We learned our lesson, okahay?! Jeeheez! Couldn’t you have warned us in text or something?” Mikey whined, pushing at Donnie’s face lightly.

“Nah. This was way more fun.” Raph and Donnie both said, smiling as the two youngest groaned fondly at they’re answer to Mikey’s question. 

——————————————————————

This fic has been a WIP for a LONG ASS TIME so I decided to finish as soon as my stupid exams ended and post it lol-

But srsly- I love this HC for Raph and Donnie sm it’s so evil <3 I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :D

(Also sorry if the phrasing and/or pacing is weird- this is my first time writing with two lees and two lers- I dunno what I’m doing 😭💀😂)

P.S. Since Summer just started for me I will be able to work on more of my WIP’s so keep watch for ‘em :p

[alicia-18]

Second Choice — Eminem x reader

Summary; Y/N was used to being a second choice to everyone, so it didn’t surprise her at all when Marshall broke off their situationship in order to give things a try with Kim again. But she was surprised by the emotions that came with it.

Warning; this fic will include mentions of domestic violence (not between Em and Y/N), drug and alcohol abuse, adult content, swearing, idiots in love, and moments where you hate both Eminem and yourself :)

Chapter Two; I think my dad’s gone crazy!

A bead of sweat fell down your temple as you finished perfecting the recording of the chorus to one of the final songs on your upcoming album. Dre had an eyebrow arched at you as you left the booth and entered the production room.

“What? Was it not a good take?” You huffed, taking a gulp from your beer glass. The flavour was awful when you first began drinking it, but it had grown on you over the years and worked as a good warm up to the harder liquor you often found yourself indulging in later in the night.

“Nah sounds great.” He shrugged, make you give him an odd look. Your body collapsed onto the little couch, and you pulled your notepad onto your lap to quickly go over the lyrics to ensure that wasn’t what Dre’s look had been for.

“Spit it out then, Dre.” You huffed, not finding anything particularly wrong with the song. The knowing look he was giving you was becoming suffocating.

“Second choice?” He questioned the title of the song, taking a gulp from his own drink and pulling out a blunt which he promptly sparked before continuing. “Thought ya didn’t care ‘bout Em and Kim?” He bluntly asked, sending a slight flush to the apples of your cheeks. You blamed that on the alcohol as you finished the bottle.

“I don’t, this song ain’t about them.” Dre didn’t look convinced by the declaration. You weren’t sure if it was your growing buzz or just the trust you had built with the producer over the last couple years, but you felt a need to let him in slightly. “I’ve always been second choice. My mom left when I was a baby for some dude in Canada, dad always chose drugs or women over me. And all of my boyfriends have cheated on me. Fuck, I’ve barely even been a second choice to people.” You laughed humourlessly at the revelation, and happily accepted his silent offer of the blunt.

“Well the song’s gonna be a hit, that’s for sure.” He smiled warmly, though didn’t seem to be finished. Now it was you staring at him with a raised brow. “You deserve more credit. You’ve gone through enough shit for’a lifetime, and stand on business for everyone around ya. I don’t think you see it but you don’t even put you first. If everyone else makes ya a second choice, why not make yourself a first choice?” His words hit like a punch to the gut, and left you frozen for a moment. You blinked back at him, his words sinking in and stabbing your soul. He was right, of course, and if anyone was in a place to tell you the hard truths you needed to hear, it was him. He had seen you right from the start, and you wouldn’t be in the position you was in currently without him.

That next week you had fully taken Dre’s words in and was doing something you hadn’t done in a while that you enjoyed — going to the club with your girls. You couldn’t remember the last girls night you had, so to say it was overdue wasn’t an exaggeration. You hadn’t even gone to the studio that day, deciding that the entire weekend for yourself. But as fate seemed to control your life, you had to pop there quickly on your way to the club as you had left your favourite purse there the day before and wanted to feel perfect that night.

You had already had a few shots before arriving, as you preferred arriving to the club with a moderate buzz already going. That, however, made walking in your black heels over the halls carpeted floor a lot harder. Your instability made you sigh with relief once you had reached the linoleum flooring of the break room. Your E/C eyes searched the room before landing on the duo sat on the small couch which also just happened to be where you left your purse.

Marshall’s eyes fell on you as soon as the door creaked open, and his stare flicking to the door made Hallie turn around also. She stared at you with wide blue eyes, a little gasp sounding. “Is that Y/N, dad?!” She excitedly spoke, looking between the two adults. You smiled apologetically to him, feeling as if you were crossing a line by meeting his daughter. “I love your music!” She confessed, her bright smile warming your heart.

You grinned back and made your way over, making sure to pull your short mini skirt down a little to appear slightly more modest infront of the child. “Well that’s funny cause I love your song too!” You giggled, stopping infront of the pair. Hailie looked up at you with pinched brows, so you crouched down to be eye level with her. You tried your best to copy her little voice as you sang “I think my dad’s gone crazy!” which sent her into a heap of laughter.

“What’re you doing here anyway?” Marshall finally spoke, biting the inside of his cheek to prevent smiling. His words reminded you of what you had came here for as you reached between his side and the arm of the couch. You heard his breath falter a little, but it didn’t last long as you pulled your purse into your clutches.

“Left this here yesterday, I’m going out with the girls and wanna look my best.” You shrugged, lifting the metal chained handle over your bare shoulder.

“You do look very pretty.” Hailie complimented with a smile, one which warmed you even more to the adorable little girl. You leant over and gave her a high five, making you both giggle. Marshall watched on with a baffling mix of emotions, a mix he didn’t appreciate.

“Thank you, so do you Hailie! It’s been so nice to meet you, your dad tells everyone just how great you are all the time.” You were shocked as she jumped from her seat and wrapped her arms around your waist. You eyes went wide and looked immediately to Marshall, definitely feeling like you were overstepping now.

“Hallie, I think Y/N has somewhere to be.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and continued chewing the inside of his mouth. You gave her a quick squeeze so she didn’t feel like you were being mean or rude then stepped back.

“It was so cool meeting you!” She beamed, sending a rush of warmth to your cheeks. You had never expected meeting Marshall’s kids, at all, but you immediately liked Hailie. She seemed so happy, and was obviously lovely to everyone.

“It was so nice meeting you too, Hailie. Have a good time with your dad.” You gave them both a little wave before your phone began ringing. You flicked it open and accepted it, and your best friend began shouting down the phone.

“Yeah yeah I’m coming, Jesus woman—“ You put your hand over the speaker and moved it from your face to address the father daughter duo infront of you. “I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve really gotta go. It really was so nice to meet you Hallie, I’ll see you Monday, Em.” You accepted a second high five from the 9 year old girl before lifting the phone back to your ear and scurrying from the room.

MASTERLIST

[pushing500]

A raid from Hot Minute's niece and a social fight between Kaz and Wendy occurred at the same time, which was stressful but ultimately solved with Albina's overpowered 'summon pack' psycast. I love that psycast.

Wendy broke Kaz's nose and won the social fight, if you were curious.

Pig, the guy from The Menra Covenant who tried to marry Hazrov a while back, is trying to get with Candlelight now (we said no).

I was amused reading through Zonovo's social interactions and seeing that he's apparently in a gambling mood today. Cards, dice, roulette... He's happy chatting about them all.

Kawoo is the only colonist I've ever seen using the pool I spent so many resources to build, so I wanted to draw her enjoying herself.

I imagine it takes a lot of shaking to get all that fur dry, but she's probably super fuzzy and soft afterwards!

Finally, Hot Minute's nephew and some of his friends crash-landed right into Baz and Zonovo's bedroom, which was very rude of them. They busted down a wall and got ambushed by a turret and two of our nightlings, who distracted them until some of my colonists could run over and take them down.

Then we ripscanned Hot Minute's nephew, haha. Serves him right.

First | Next | Previous

[that-was-anticlimactic]

the lack of respect for the httyd books pisses me off ugh

[bayrut]

I may have made a mistake.....

[seventh-district]

sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.

and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.

and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.

and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.

[cowboy-robooty]

me when i read the gay porn genre comics and get mad theres gay porn

[bmpmp3]

Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌