#i dont get many anons i didnt think anything of it

[froggybowtie-art]

oh my gosh? I didn't know this at all, thank you for telling me!! I haven't been active in the vat7k fandom in a hot minute, this is wild.

How do you feel about Varian growing taller than Hugo and being stronger than Hugo?

I don't think Varian will ever be taller than Hugo, just because by the time they meet they've both gone through puberty, however! I do like the idea, and actually fully believe, Varian is stronger than Hugo!

I am always a sucker for short kings who are stronger and can lift their tall babygirls <3

[bluevveather]

Wait people eat horse meat for real??

Oh damn I forgot asks are a thing i can receive lol sorry for the probably late answer!

It's a domestic animal with a lot of meat on it that tastes ok, so why not? People tend to react similarly to it as most do with the concept of eating dogs though so it's not super common everywhere for all classes but it definitely does happen. Pretty sure it's relatively common in Finland for example.

Humans have been eating horse meat long before we domesticated them like... very long before. I'd recommend looking up stuff about human horse interaction throughout history. It's very interesting to see how things change over time!

[snekdood]

like i really dont think ya understand the severity of the abuse- even aside from the sexual abuse-

i have bpd and come from a home where im not validated very well (obviously, bc thats what makes ppl bpd in the first place). i meet this person who validates me in every way i could possibly imagine or want (love bombing). they pretend to like me so much that they start to become like me and pick up traits of mine they like the most. they know they have a hold over me and power over me bc i didnt know how to validate myself and they were the only source of validation i had. so then they go ahead and start invalidating me and acting like im less of me and theyre somehow more of me. i knew who i was deep down but suddenly i felt unseen again and silenced and pushed into a corner. and then they act like im a horrible person (discarding phase) and serve me an entirely different version of me thats not who i am, but bc i didnt know how to validate myself and was reliant on them (something thats particularly important for this type of abuse to work), it made me question myself and who i was and what i was like and what my intentions were and what my actions were and if i could even trust my own reality all over again when i really didn’t fucking need to since i knew who i was deep down, but they somehow convinced me they knew me better. because i was reliant on them. i dont think you understand how much that fucks with you.

[yawujin]

Hiii!! I think i thought I requested this but i might not have sent it or like thought i did when i didnt (srry if i did tho n im sending it again)

Do you think you could do headcannons for russia, america, romano, and japan with a reader who's pretty clumsy/isnt good with spacial awareness? Like they bump into things a lot, burn themselves bc they dont realize they were that close to something hot- stuff like that?

here you go anon !! 🪄

{ request } russia , america , romano & japan x clumsy! reader

type | short read , head canon format , react , they/you pronouns

russia/ivan braginski ♡

he's always standing either at their side or behind them so they don't accidentally hit something/someone or knock anything over (and if they do accidentally hit him, it's alright he can take it :p)

he's beside them so he can watch and make sure they never trip and fall down

asks them if they would like to hang onto him just in case

america/alfred f. jones ♡

he's scared for them 😨 he usually keeps anything fragile out of their reach. he does it for himself too, since he can be just a little careless with delicate items or anything made out of glass, porcelain, etc

he keeps them out of harm's way mostly by handling anything hot by himself. he diligently turns off the stove and manages any type of firepit or fireplace.

romano/lovino vargas ♡

he usually is the one guiding them away from anything that they can get hurt on, not saying anything but just having them step away from anything hot, sharp or dangerous

he doesn't feel like he should scold them about it since it's easier to help them avoid getting themselves, or anyone else, hurt .

japan/kiku honda ♡

he didn't realize how clumsy they can be...seriously...he's debating on whether he should order a life-sized hamster ball bubble thing to keep them in.

he does what he can to keep them from hurting themselves or knocking things over. for example: not leaving so many vases out around his house, putting towels under the table when he invites them over for tea in case they spill something, having bandages close by just bc you never know what can happen

[girl-lostconnection]

YESSS I SO AGREE!! omggggg she’s such a productive queen. and after she finishes her trilogy, mailing a signed copy to her man, duh, she’s already working on her fourth. but this one is a standalone, i think. “the diaries of the soldier’s lover,” she titles this one. and she writes about how simon essentially saved her from losing her mind in year 10 and how she wishes she could be like a little angel on his shoulder, following him always. she names herself his guardian angel and thanks him deeply for the love that he has helped to grow, like a rose blooming with no thorns.

and she mails him a copy of this, too. and i like to think that for her first trilogy (some fantasy story she conjured) she used a pseudonym. but this one has her name written all over it. because she’s just so proud of him!! and she’s signed his copy, with big frilly letters and a heartwarming message.

price is like, “damn, simon, gettin’ a lot of mail lately, aye?” whenever simon comes to get his weekly mail from price’s office, and simon is too choked up to even say anything. did a tear just stain the page? no, surely it’s raining in here. or the ceiling is leaking! surely.

he reads this book like his gospel, and he’s sure that with this one, the book that he inspired, she’s touched the hearts of many wives out there. his wife is a famous author. all things that will be true within due time.

he writes her a letter, a simple diamond ring tapped haphazardly inside the envelope. “does it count if i ask you to marry me through parcel?” he writes, messy scrawl and silly little arrows and correction markings.

she cries, too. and yes, of course it counts, you oaf. she wears that ring everywhere. her husband is a lieutenant, she finds out in his next letter. he is a leader. and a damn good one.

she wears this ring even after price has shown up at her door, metal necklaces dangling from his fingers and his boonie hat long forgotten — his head bowed in shame.

AGHHGGHHH this au is eating at my brain and im not even mad i dont even caaaaare, they’re so precious and broken and they fit together. and im so sorry for the angst it just kinda happened…… 😣

— 🍓

NO YOU DIDNT. NO ANON HOW COULD YOU, YOU KILLED SIMON OMG.

In all seriousness that’s a damn good idea, anon, you should actually write it out, it’s sweet and it sounds really nice and it’s so so warm.

God, I almost cried on the part with him typing in a ring and asking her hand in marriage, god, of course Reader would marry him, how could she not. God, actually, step aside Reader I’m gonna marry this man. Oh my god.

And Price showing at her doorstep with Simon’s dogtags because it’s not the first soldier he’s buried but damn, if this wasn’t a special one. And I’d imagine your Reader wearing his dogtags until the day she dies, talking about him like he’s still alive.

She’d probably say things along the lines of “Yeah, my husband is really proud of this one, thank you so much” or “Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m not available. I’m married” and people always get a little worried when they find out Simon is no longer alive.

Because she keeps on living and she still talks about him like he’s there. And maybe for her he really is. Maybe that’s the way she keeps herself tethered to reality, joining the support club and writing another book ��� talking to the spouses of other military personnel through them. Sharing their pain, extending her hand through the pages and kind of saying “hey, I feel it too. I know your pain. You aren’t alone. I’m here”.

And she never judges other spouses for their ways of coping because hey, she gets that. She knows how it feels to choke on tears when the love of your life is lowered into the ground.

She knows how it feels to write to someone who can never answer, she knows how it feels to turn to talk to someone who’s not there anymore, how it feels to forget sometimes that hey, he’s dead.

Someone once wrote that when their spouse died they felt so shocked and overwhelmed that their first subconscious instinct was to call the said spouse and share news with them. Their first instinct was to go for comfort to the person they lost.

That’s how (i think) your Reader would feel in lieu of Simon’s death.

Luckily for the rest of you, who aren’t me and strawberry anon, im not gonna kill Simon. I have fragile heart, I wouldn’t do that to you, guys *pats your backs* death is too finite for me.

And I like to get real creative with suffering (damn that sounded ominous)

[seraphont]

FAQ & Important Info

About me:

bday: march 30th

lgbt?: im bi

What can we call you?

Seraphont is fine, its supposed to be a play on of Seraph and Serif Font, you can call me Seraph!

What pronouns do you use?

I'd prefer They/Them, but you can use She/Her.

Whats your Main blog?

not posting it publically for now.

Dying and Getting Over It (DaGOI au) Related:

Where can I read DaGOI?

It will be uploaded to my Ao3. its currently being written, so there is no link to the fic yet.

When will you post the fic?

short answer: I'm not sure, possibly by early october. its my first time writing a fic, so I ask you to be patient with me! the outline is written and being tweaked, and its going through adjustments now that MD ep 8 is out. Im also moving across the world, so I'm a tad bit busy rn.

Will you include MD ep8 into the canon of your fic?

at first I was on the fence, but its grown on me, its being integrated now.

Will you be drawing all of DaGOI in comic form?

if I was a stronger man I would. I'll mostly be drawing key story moments. making comics is an aid to helping me write. so I'll be making a lot, but I may not be posting them until the chapters start coming out (trying not to spoil everything). to give you an idea, as of writing this, I have 6 comics on the backburner lol.

Art Related:

What art program(s) do you use?

Procreate -Brushes: Shiyoon Kims Wet Brush pack (X) (everything you see on this blog is made with this brushpack) and several Max Packs (X) for procreate

How long have you been drawing?

I've always drawn, but I started getting really serious at 14, around the same time I first made my main blog. I was self taught up until I got into animation school.

What do you do as a career?

I'm currently doing Freelance work for publishers and individuals. I was previously an animator, I'm making the move to storyboarding

Do you take requests/commissions?

I do have commissions open. only lineart, and flat colours are available. if you want a rendered piece: slots are closed, but you can dm me for interest.

Asks and Messaging:

Rules for asks/tagging?

Anyone can send me an Ask, Mutuals, Anons or not!

Dont send discourse or anything explicitly NSFW. you'll be blocked lol. I'd prefer if you didnt send suggestive. if you send me triggering content I’ll mind blast you into dust. (block).

Do not send and DNI's?

Transphobia, Homophobia, Acephobia. All the obvious bigot contenders.

SA, pdfilia and incest are absolute no goes.

are you okay with me direct messaging you?

only if we have spoken before/ you're giving me a headsup about something/ I've prompted you to send me one.

***minors: please refrain from dming me to chit chat, im not down to.***

Why don’t you answer my asks/dms?

my main has 1000+ asks and my other side blog is pushing 250+, sometimes the ask's get lost in the sauce. that being said, some ask's go unaswered because: 1. it might spoil too much if I were to answer. 2. I simply have to think hard to reply. 3. its super nice and im hoarding it all for myself.

Misc

Can you reblog my donation posts?

no. too many scams.

[greml1nb0i]

Hi there! I just stumbled upon your cozy blog thanks to a post mentioning that Viv will be working on a new series. ^^"

If it's true, then I'm worried just how she might do a terrible job especially since writing doesn't seem to be her specialty (like she's giving me Mindy Kaling vibes). She even announced planning to work on several more seasons of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Shouldn't she at least finish both shows before even moving to other projects? 🤔

I also think in my opinion that she'd work best as a t-shirt graphic artist for Hot Topic 'coz most of her projects felt like a random showcase of her OCs from high school. They're also overly designed and her humor is rather too juvenile than hilarious.

Sorry for the ramble, I just like to share my thoughts out there.

Dont worry about rambling Anon, ive done my fair share and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

I agree on so many aspects of what you said.

Viv shouldnt be making anything new without finishing the already tanking series' she has. Hazbin is only going to get worse [as seen from the leaks] and Helluva is losing the most diehard of fans, attention. she's sinking her career quicker and quicker. She can't write, and even admits that herself several times. She steals from smaller artists, refuses to credit her artists and employees, is constantly into controversy after controversy, She cant grow up.

Its funny how you mention she gives a Mindy Vibe and i TOTALLY see it. Mindy went on a tirade about how people were shitting on Velma and Viv does the exact same thing, istg those 2 must be sharing a braincell.

Also yes the Hot Topic thing, i have my own 2 cents to put in there.

i swear this has a point to it just stick with me here. If it doesnt make sense to you im sorry, im not the greatest at explaining things.

I grew up in the early 2000s and 2010s, so Hot Topic and Spencer's were major hot spots for me, and lemme tell you. In those times, HT and Spencer's wouldve laughed at Viv for wanting to sell her cheap ass merch there. In fact, most merch sold there now, wouldnt have been, but ever since the big boom of indie creations; these stores ended up with different purposes.

HT never used to be a online merch store for indie creators, it used to be an actual punk store for punk and alt teens. Same with Spencer's but it was more for adults. You couldnt find things that werent punk or alt in regular stores thats why you'd go to HT or Spencer's.

Thats where youd get your AOT merch, Black Butler, Supernatural, Addams family, Jack Skellington, Band shirts like Korn, MCR, BVB, and Splitknot were sold there.

But now, its HH and HB merch. Fnaf, [im a fnaf fan before anyone comes for for that] and sparkle bs.

You cant find the punk merch you want, cuz its being switched out for Vivs bullshit and being buried in the back storages until they start having major sales to just get rid of it.

Now Spencer's' is being turned into the New HT, and HT is being turned into the kiddie emo version of Claires. its so fucking sad to watch.

My point to all this is.

Viv didnt need to sell her merch in HT.

HT doesnt need to be selling her merch to kids.

Viv shows are not made for kids, but yet she sells her merch at a teen based punk store.

HT doesnt need to be pandering to every indie creator that calls them to collab or sell their shitty 40$ t-shirts.

Viv doesnt need more money.

HT and Spencer's need to get their shit together before they go fucking bankrupt and we lose the only 2 punk-alt stores to exist physically.

Last i checked, BlackCraft Cult doesnt have an in person store.

[graciegoeskrazy]

i can stage a situation

warnings: r has an eating disorder, although it's not defined the symptoms are very similar to anorexia, yelling, lying, idk its lowk rough, i think i hate this? but i dont?

a/n: I have not a single clue who requested this but someone did so0ooooo THANKS ANON❣️❣️❣️

V IMPORTANT NOTE: I am by no means trying to romanticize or promote ed’s or anything of the sort. I’ve been a dancer for 16 years training in many styles, and I have seen firsthand how things like this can hurt people and those around them, but even then I will not claim to know every single thing possible about this subject - because I don’t. However, I did try my best and did research to try and write the best story I could without dishonoring the real-life issues people have to go through. All my love goes out to those going through this. <3

Your dad said he had a late night ahead of him. Something about recording with John or whatever, you didnt really listen. The point was he was going to be gone on a trip for the night, leaving Friday afternoon and returning Saturday morning. He would leave before you got home on Friday so, when Thursday rolled around and you decided you didn't want to spend your Friday night moping around by yourself, you called up your uncle Matty to see if you could spend the night. He, of course, with you being his favorite person, said yes. You told him to pick you up around 6 that night and to be prepared for a movie night.

You just weren't interested in eating. You couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason why. If you thought about it long and hard enough, you could probably figure it out, but thinking about it too much only seemed to make things worse.

When you got in the car the next day, Matty offered to cook you something, you said you weren't hungry and that your Dad fed you before he left. Both of those things were lies.

…

“I’m Home!”

“I’m in here.” You said, letting your voice guide him to the living room. You were scrolling on your phone while something was playing on the TV. He dropped his carry-on and case onto the couch and immediately went to you. Hugging you from behind and dramatically placing kisses all over your forehead and face. You squirmed out of his grasp and he smiled and came around to the other side of the couch to sit next to you. “I’m so sorry I’m late.” He said.

You smiled at him again.“It’s fine, Dad. Really. You don’t have to worry.”

He smiled back before changing the subject, knowing you weren't too worried about his tardiness. “How was your uncle’s?”

You shrugged. “Fine. We just watched a movie and hung out. It was fun.”

“Yeah? What did you have for dinner?”

You thought for a second, caught off guard by the question. “Spaghetti.” You finally said, remembering what Matty cooked for dinner white you sat on the other side of the counter.

Ross hummed. “Really? Was it good?”

“Delicious.” You said with a smile.

“Hm.” He knew you were lying - he knows you too well - but decided to not address it for now. “If it's your uncle’s-cooking then I beg to differ,” he said, getting up from the couch.

You can’t keep a secret from Ross. He can see through everyone, especially you, his daughter for crying out loud. Ross always had suspicions about your diet. He was the one who fed you of course, but he noticed the way you played around with your food during dinner. He also noticed how you always skipped breakfast and how you were always so tired and your energy was so low when you came home from school. He could see right through you when you told him about your endeavor at Matty’s, but he wanted to see for himself.

Ross | Did she eat at your house?

Matty | Wym?

Ross | Y/n. Did she eat when she was at your house?

Matty | No? She said she ate before she came. Y?

Ross | Did she snack on anything?

Matty | No? Not that I saw? What’s going on?

Ross | Nothing. Just wondering.

He sighed and marched up the stairs.

…

His main emotion was anger, but he couldn't tell why. Maybe because you lied to him, or maybe because he thought his baby girl was in danger and couldn't stand the thought of you being in pain. Truthfully, he was angry at himself. It started to become clear thatEither way, he tried to collect himself as he walked upstairs, sighing and shaking his head as he reached your bedroom door. He knocked.

“Come in.” You said.

He opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. You both watched each other for a second, waiting for the other to make a move first. You broke first and laughed. “You just gonna watch me like a creep?”

He walked into your room and sat on the foot of your bed. “Baby, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to be honest.”

Your demeanor changed along with his. You could tell this was about something serious but you didn’t know what. And never in a million years did you think he would see this clearly though you.

“Okay?” You said, clearly confused.

He took a breath before answering. “Did you eat dinner last night?”

It took you back. Your thoughts from earlier flooded your brain with the realization you were right…he is onto you. “Ye-yeah…at Matty’s house…”

He sighed. “I don’t like it when you lie, y/n.”

You let out a dry chuckle. “I’m not lying-“

His face remained serious despite your best efforts to keep it light. “Yes, you are. And you just did it again.” You gulped. He knew. “And you didn’t eat breakfast this morning ethier.”

You took a moment to think but came up with nothing. “I was full from dinner.”

“But you didn’t eat dinner.” He answered sharply.

“Of course I ate dinner! Why would I not eat?”

“Because I texted your uncle and asked if you ate or not and he said ‘no’! In fact, he said that I fed you before you left, which I know for a fact I did not.” You had nothing to say after that. There was no use in fighting. He knew everything you’ve been up to and there was no saving you. The room stayed quiet. Ross sighed and slowly opened up. “So, I'm going to ask you again, did you eat dinner at Matty’s last night?”

You hesitantly look him in the eyes. “…No.” You whispered.

Ross continued. “And did you eat breakfast this morning?”

“No.”

“Did you eat at school at all in the past week?”

“No.” A tear fell as you spoke.

“When was the last time you ate something?”

You shrugged slightly. “I don’t know?”

Ross nodded, trying to remain calm, and stood to sit back down closer to you. “Why?” He asked

“I don’t know-”

“Y/n…”

"I don’t know! I don’t!" you burst out, the words tumbling from your lips in a rush. "I just... everything feels off... and I just don’t feel like... eating."

Ross's eyes widen, a mix of concern and desperation. His mind went to the first things he could think of. "Is it because of school? A-are people... pressuring you into this or something? I-"

"Of course not. I’m not that naive," you cut him off, glaring at him, the frustration in your voice evident.

"I never said you were." He takes a step closer, his voice softening. "Where did this start, baby? I need you to tell me." His eyes search yours, pleading. "You’re hurting yourself, Y/N. How could you do this to yourself? I mean... you’re the kind of kid people dream of raising-"

"No, I’m not," you snap back, your voice trembling.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I’m not!" Your voice hit a volume Ross hadn’t heard in a while. "I’m a clueless, lonely, boring 13-year-old who was the product of a one-night stand, trying to figure out what to do with her life."

Ross's face pales, the impact of your words hitting him like a physical blow. "Is that what this is about? Baby, is this about Mom?"

"It doesn't matter-" you begin, rolling your eyes, but he interrupts you, his voice rising.

"Uh, it actually matters more than anything else on the planet right now. My baby girl is hurting. Not only that, but she’s hurting herself, and I will be damned if I just let something like this go."

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "She was trying to make her life perfect... And so I thought... she’s trying to make her life perfect and I’m already doing this so what’s the harm if I keep going. I wanted to be perfect for her."

Ross’s eyes fill with tears. "You’re already perfect-"

"Will you cut the crap! I’m not! And you don’t understand it!" You feel the tears welling up, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall.

"You’re right, I don’t understand it." His voice breaks. "I don't understand how you can continuously, for months and months on end, hurt yourself when you are already the definition of perfection to me-"

"Well, I’m not that to Mom. Do you think I would be doing this if she thought that? Do you think I would put myself through this if she thought I was the ‘definition of perfection’?"

"You are the prettiest girl I have ever laid my eyes on-"

"You’re just saying that-"

"No. I’m not." You look away, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak.

Ross sighed. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Because you wouldn’t understand, Dad- you don’t understand."

He reaches out, his hands trembling as they rest on your shoulder. "I can try."

"It’s not that easy," you whisper, your voice barely audible, tears at a level 10.

Ross nods, his grip on your shoulder tightening slightly. "We need to get you help, Y/N."

"I know." Your voice is small, but in that moment, you realize it’s the first step towards healing.

[harukyuu2]

hi can you do a fem!reader x Mizuki one? with basically a reader who has no will live and wants to end it but they're staying because of Mizuki and Mizuki keeps trying to give reader a reason to live but it never worked but one day reader can't take it anymore and decides to overdose themselves while Mizuki is out in the mall but luckily Mizuki arrives in time just to stop reader from doing it and after Mizuki comforts the reader <3

If you don't feel comfortable with this then no worries feel free to ignore this request

Anon youre gonna make me do an apology letter after this /jk, here you have it !! - sorry for the long wait <3

!! TW - angst, suicide thoughts, reader is depressed, mentions of overdose, hurt with comfort at the end, fem reader, used they/them for mizuki!!

- pls feel free to ignore this post if youre sensitive to this topics <3 -

"Stay with me, please" - Mizuki x Fem!Reader

Tap, tap, tap

The only sound that could reach your mind was Mizuki tapping their pencil against the homework you two had to do. Its been a while since you tried to put effort into it, no matter how hard you tried— you didnt feel the same enthusiasm to finish it as you did before, who knows how many time has passed from that.

All you could do was stare blankly at the paper while Mizuki's pencil was the only sound cutting through the white noise your brain generated. You were tired of thinking, tired of the same mundane routine every day, tired of living… It wasnt even that hard, so why did you keep complaining about it? Why couldnt you be like your classmate— who always seems to wear a bright smile, even when she knows the day will be tough, completing everything and still ending the day with a smile? Why couldnt you be like her?

why couldnt you be a better girlfriend for Mizuki?

"Reader...? Calling reader to earth...!"

The voice of Mizuki didnt reach you at first, too focused on comparing you, too focused on thinking you were useless— doing the same everyday should be easy, so why was it so hard to you? Such a useless girl you are.

"Heeey! Dont ignore me!" - A pouty Mizuki interrupted your thoughts, poking your cheek with her pencil to finally catch your attention, as you turned to see them a light appeared on their eyes

You gived them a weak smile, Mizuki didnt need to know what you were thinking— after all, you would probably be only a burden to them, grumbling so much everyday just causes trouble for the rest

"Im just tired of studyinggg..." - You drawl while leaning into them, you werent lying if you think about it! you were tired of studying— and everything, but Mizuki didnt need to know the other part...

"What if you rest a little on the bed while i go to buy something to eat? Oh! Kanade recommended me a new flavour of ramen the other day, if you wanna try it" - Mizuki says joyfully trying to reassure you, these days they'd been giving their best effort to make you feel comfortable and loved, more than they did before— Mizuki probably knows how you feel even if neither of you bring the topic directly

"Yeah, sounds good. Pick whatever you want..." - you responded, setting down the pink pencil you'd purchased a while ago at the mall. Mizuki's love for shopping had rubbed off on you, and that day, you just needed to distract yourself from the fact that you were failing the last exams of the semester—alone. So, when Mizuki noticed the pencil, it was kind of surprising to see something new.

"I never saw that pencil! did you go shopping recently without me? So cuteee!" - They said with a big grin starting to get up, a hint of amused and playfull tone at the fact you didnt tell them about it

"...You can have it if you want, i dont mind."

Mizuki leaved, no sound in the bedroom now, it was you and your head alone— it was painful. Your heart ached, its been a while since you dont feel anything but maybe an usual sadness, you missed everything— you werent able to look at the future by now, you just craved for the past to come back

A shaky breath comes out when your eyes start to get blurry, why are you crying? your life isnt difficult at all compared to other people, so why are you crying? Because you dont have the same grades as before? because you cant say youre as happy as before? because you arent what you used to be...?

Thats it. You got tired of your own mind— tired of yourself, tired of everything. Standing up without thinking straight, you start frantically searching around your room for something to end it all, to finally be at peace. You dont want to think anymore, you dont want to feel anymore, you just want to rest. It felt sudden— or maybe it wasnt. These thoughts of searching for the end had been lingering in your mind for a while now. But because of Mizuki— whatever. Mizuki has plenty of better people around her, she wont need you anymore. After all, right now, youre nothing more than a dead soul trying to move a tired body

Your vision was unfocused, the tears of your eyes didnt let you see correctly and the shakeness of your body didnt help at all but still you were able to find a bottle of pills hidding below your bed, without even paying attention to the letters or the prospect, you decided to shakily put one on your mouth— but suddenly stopped walking as the pill started to dissolve slowly on your tongue.

A pink haired person camed to your mind, Mizuki— you should atleast give her a goodbye message. You were a bad girlfriend these weeks, an apology is the least you can do, before finally doing your actual last act of selfless love— dissapearing so you stop being a burden. Gulping down the pill without thinking too much, you searched for your phone— one pill wasnt going to do anything, giving you enough time to send that message in your little moment of actually thinking

Your hands copied and pasted a message you'd already prepared for Mizuki— more than four paragraphs of endless apologies and praises, calling her an angel while all you did was bury yourself under the weight of your own failure. You wanted to at least fall alone, not drag them down with you. The moment your finger hit the send button, your mind went blank again. Your eyes filled with disgusting tears, and your shaky hand threatened to shove all the pills into your mouth, and more if its necessary for it to work— you were too much of a coward to try another method, you just wanted a peaceful end.

But a sweet voice that was breaking down in a murmur stopped you, the door slamming weakly against the wall when a figure emerged from it, the sound of groceries moving slightly when they stopped in their tracks. - "...W-what are you doing.."

As you turned slowly to look at the door, you were tackled to the floor by Mizuki— Mizuki? Mizuki. You totally forgot they went to the convenience store, that they would come back— that you werent alone. Looking at them, your tears blurred your sight but you could see perfectly the desesperation in their eyes, the tears that were threating to fall into your face, the small frown that wasnt for you—but for themself, for not acting before, for not noticing that you were getting worst, for not being there for you.

Mizuki just saw the dead look in your eyes— a gaze packed with tears, yet void of real sadness, just an emptiness eating you alive. They had been trying so hard to reignite your light, to hear your laugh again, to bring you back. Dont get them wrong— they still love you. But they wants to bring back the person their girlfriend once was

The silence was louder than the sound of your sniffles. No matter how close Mizuki was, the distance between you two felt impossible to bridge. Time moved painfully slow, far slower than it should, and the words were stuck inside both of you. The usually cheerful Mizuki broke into tears when your only response was a shaky breath and a quiet apology. Its your fault Mizuki is crying. Maybe if you were stronger, smarter, happier… this wouldnt be happening, maybe if you expressed yourself better, maybe if you...

"Why are you apologizing!? In part its my fault y-you decided to do this, i should had talked with you before, im sorry... but please, reader, please dont just leave me a-alone" - Mizuki voice seems to break with every word, falling into the same void you were trying to make them ignore and escape

There was only fear in Mizuki's eyes, and at the lack of response you gived them— not being able to give them an explanation and just cry out an endless spiral of apologies, they hugged you tightly— craving you, their nails digging into your flesh to feel that youre still here, that you arent totally out of yourself, that they grabbed you just in the moment to stop you— what would had happened if them...?

"M-mizuki, im sorry- im....i didnt...im so, so s-sorry, i just—" - A shaky breath interrupts you, your heart beated so fast you almost thinked it was going to explode from how hard it tightened your chest - "Im just s-so tired..." - You finally managed to leave on a single breath

"I know! Im not stupid, but- but... we can always rest together! Thats why im here, im your girlfriend— i love you! I-I dont want to lose you...youre...youre part of my heart...i cant bare to l-lose you..." - Mizuki was crying a lot, more than you ever thought they could, with how optimistic they are you never expected to see them break so badly for you. The guilt was eating you alive and more with the fact your search for peace ended up hurting the person you love

Mizuki took a deep breath and leaned back, searching for your teary gaze while gripping your shoulders tightly - "I understand youre tired, I-I understand it a lot! But you cant just give up… You cant… J-Just because your last exams were a failure doesnt mean youre a failure. I get that you feel like a burden, b-but you arent one! I understand everything thats hurting you and I-I want to help you, please… y-you have to keep trying. You cant just..."

Mizuki bit their own lip to stop another sob from escaping, making a small mark from how harsh they bitted their lower lip. By now, you were red from crying, your hair a mess— probably sweaty, disgusting. And yet, through all the tears, Mizuki still looked at you with so much love, with the same look they did since the start. They were, without a doubt, your light in the darkness.

"I-Im tired of trying...Im tired..." - You shuddered and cried into their shoulder, hugging yourself trying to reassure you - "But maybe...i-im sorry- i just...i just wanted to stop annoying you...i'm...i'm a f-failure..." - You sighed heavy, your heart clenching so much that you were asking for someone to take it out, pleading that all this situation stopped and you could rest for once— but the thought of leaving Mizuki after seeing them cry like this, was stopping you from actually thinking of doing it again.

"Youre not a failure...y-youre just tired." - Mizuki said almost like a sweet murmur filled with cries, she cupped your cheeks and gived you a weak smile trying their best to reassure you - "So p-please, please honey just— please. Keep trying, the future can always be brighter if we are holding each other backs, d-dont you remember how you were there for me too...? I wont let you be alone on this...i-im sorry you had to fall into this— i should had been there-"

Before Mizuki could continue her ramble, you hugged her tightly, holding onto her, needing her. They were… your couple, after all. What were you thinking, leaving them alone? Such a stupid head of yours for proposing that idea—you shouldnt listen to it anymore. How could you not notice the life you were about to leave behind with such an erratic action?

You never confirmed Mizuki's words with your voice, but your endless tears and the way you clung to her said everything that needed to be said. You were going to keep trying— even if its only for Mizuki. Maybe, along the way, you'd find other reasons to keep going. And no matter how many times you fall… you have to keep trying

After what felt like an endless talk and a stressful situation, Mizuki is now holding your sleepy body on the bed. The only pill you took finally made its effect—not the forever sleep you once wished for, but enough to make you rest. They sighed, feeling tired too, but at least seeing you still here, with a peaceful expression after so long, soothed their heart a little. A weak smile crossed their face. Their tears had ruined their makeup, but they'd probably make you redo it when you wake up to lift your spirits. They are gonna take care of you—but for now, it was time for them to rest too.

With that, they cuddled with you under the blankets and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. Resting against you, they murmured in a sweet tone words that didnt matter if you heard them or not, because those words were more of a promise to themself

"Good night dummy, i'll take care of you until youre able to see the rainbow after the storm stops..."

[grimescum]

it's been great seeing your walter posts in the hellsing tag 🫡 do you have any head-canons to share?

GEHEUEHEHUEEHHEE THANK YOU KIND ANON!!!!! hum... i think i already made a post about this on my older blog? but i dont really wanna find it + its probably really old so... here :o3 some new and some old just for u

- i Do Not like the depictions of walter where he's, like, a genuinely sick in the head and fucked up individual. it just seems grossly extreme to me. different strokes for different folks though

that being said, i do agree he's definitely not well. i think he has bpd,, mostly out of me projecting and what not but also because i think it just makes sense. growing up distanced from the people around you and not receiving proper emotional support does that to a mf

he's got a facade up damn near all the time. inoffensive, orderly, agreeable, prim and proper. not to manipulate the people around him for his own gain, but because he knows thats what other people want. anything less and he'd be a bad butler, and therefore, effectively useless

- not really a hc since this is just kind of a fact? but ill say it here because its what draws me to him the most: he's afraid of being rendered useless.

- he's not an emotional guy. i dont think he feels much most days. all his smiles are about as fake as the teeth he would've needed if he went on for much longer. i think he's been somewhat resigned to his fate for a while now, but that doesn't stop him from thinking what if every now and again

- he certainly is a jealous little bitch but he keeps that inside. if he ever got therapy he'd need like explosives and shit to properly get all of that pent up emotion out

- ^^ i think thats why he gets a bit sadistic when fighting others. its just a way to vent all that frustration

- i dont think he had many plans, if any at all, to turn on hellsing. he definitely had thoughts, but i think it all caught up to him one night and he just decided it was too much, and that he had nothing to lose that he wouldn't lose later on. either he lives an unremarkable existence in the shadow of alucard or tries to surpass that (he didnt) (he failed) (lol). ties into my bpd headcanon with impulsivity being a symptom

- he would've loved to have been a father at some point but has since abandoned it for many reasons. seras is about the closest he has to a daughter and the most he's opened up to someone emotionally, but he still keeps himself at an arms length.

- i like to think he grew out his hair at some point during the 80s for a mullet but liked having it long

- i also think he'd be big on rock when he was younger!! he tried it at first just because it was popular, but he found that it really spoke to him. i don't think he's much of a music guy outside of that though. maybe some jazz

- he is an incredibly lonely individual, as is expected of a butler. he can handle flirting somewhat but the idea of someone being genuinely attracted to him for who he is turns him into a sappy old-fashioned loverboy

- former christian. he still thinks there is a god (evidenced by vampires obviously) but that god has not been very kind to him to lead him down this path so why gaf

- very meticulous about keeping up his appearance. not a serious headcanon but its funny to imagine him up all night plucking each and every grey hair out of his head. if not just to look as presentable as possible, then it also helps his confidence. its nice to know that his apprarance is one of the few things he has control over

- speaking of which ??? i think hes confident.. but only in the persona he's made for himself yk. not in the real him who's body could fail him anytime. not the human part of him.

- not good at taking compliments but loves them. praise him too much and too often and you'd finally see him emotional i think. really, letting this man know that his worth is not defined by how useful he is to others would fix him

- i think his monocle is both for appearances and because he's got a bum eye, trying to hide it in a way that fits

- poor guy doesn't sleep well most nights. his morning tea, if he's able to have any, is highly caffeinated (i dont think he'd be that much of a coffee guy- not to mention the whole tea drinking thing is befitting of a british butler, so he'd roll with it)

- i'm on my period... so.... like.... i'm going to get a little freaky on main rn (feel free to skip over this, its nothing explicit) but i get So Sick of people seeing him as the daddy dom archetype. like yea older man ouuuu i have daddy issues oauauuu choke me whatever but i'm more inclined to think that he'd actually too insecure about his ability to please his partner to be that way. atleast, not without some sort of affirmation.

again, different strokes for different folks, but like. he is bordering 70. he grew up in the 1930s. i cannot be the only one who thinks this. or maybe i'm just a huge pervert idk (yes ❤️)

- in a similar vein, i'm glad that i havent seen any fanart of him muscular because i would be so mad but in the most respectful way possible – this man is, like, rail thin. i do think he does a decent amount of exercise when he can so its not like he's not a pile of bones. i'll admit that i've maybe drawn him a bit too skinny in the past though

ok my pain meds r kicking in and making me sleepy... if some things r kinda incoherent thats why. THANK U AGAIN ANON!!!

[ink-and-dagger]

I was finally able to read DWM and I love it (I haven't finished it entirely yet) but I'm on the part where Astrid or we get drunk and there is a mention of strip poker and I was wondering if like in alternative universe, we do it.

You dont have to do the request but I still just wanna say THANK YOU FOR WRITING DRINK WITH ME AND IVE BEEN TRYING TO READ IT FOR A WHILE BUT I DIDNT HAVE A ARCHIVE ACC YET and it is so amazing and I don't regret it one bit.

LOVE YOU

Meep moop you’re too sweet 🥺 Thank you so much for your kind words, and I’m glad it was worth the wait! I hope the rest lives up to your expectations 💜

FUNNILY ENOUGH, my dear one, I have had a draft of this exact AU just sitting in my phone notes for well over a year. Another anon sent in the request not long after that chapter was first published. It’s unlikely that I’ll ever work on it any more than I already have, so… here you go. It’s unfinished, unedited, copied straight from my phone notes and rougher than an alligator’s asshole. But I hope it at least gives you some idea of how things might have gone down.

A/N I don’t understand how to play poker and refuse to learn so don’t come for me on accuracy

DRINK WITH ME - STRIP POKER AU ♠️♦️

SFW just lots of flirting || MDNI || Unedited

You’re surprised you didn’t think of it first.

You’re even more surprised that he actually suggests it.

“How do you feel about upping the stakes?” The sly curl of Silco’s lips doesn’t match the blasé cadence of his question.

“You don’t have enough money already? You want to swindle a lowly bartender out of her meagre savings?”

“At the rate I’m paying you? You’re the one swindling me,” he counters breezily, “But no. I was thinking of a different sort of collateral.”

Your eyebrow arches, “And what collateral might that be?”

“Clothing.”

That smirk widens. His eyes are fixed on you, and not on the cards he shuffles; precise, dexterous fingers making quick work of the deck. Honestly, is there anything the man can’t make look seductive? You’ve never been more jealous of an inanimate object in your life.

Your laugh comes out a little louder than intended, thanks to the alcohol which clouds your head, “You want to play strip poker?”

“I do.”

“It’s a little unfair don’t you think? Considering you’re wearing more clothes than a prudish piltie gentlewoman while I only have my top and trousers?”

“Seems perfectly fair to me.”

You scoff, “How so?”

“You forced me to play your ridiculous game,” he answers smoothly, “I think it only fair you play mine.”

You suck your teeth, and his smirk widens as he sends the cards flying between his two palms in a cheap, ostentatious trick that does nothing to actually shuffle them.

You cross your arms and sniff haughtily, “I’ll need a show of good faith.”

Silco takes his time; loosening the knot of his tie, pulling the silken fabric from beneath his collar, and hanging it neatly over the back of the sofa. Your own lips curl slowly upwards as you enjoy the show. And you’re suddenly warm enough that the idea of losing a few items of clothing doesn’t sound so bad.

“Will that suffice?”

“Let’s play,” you purr.

You keep your face as blank as possible as you look at the flush in your hand.

All your jewellery sits in a neat golden pile on the table, and is the only reason you’re not stark naked by now.

You’d expected Silco to complain when you’d lost the first hand and had pointedly removed a single hoop earring. But he hadn’t. He’d sat perfectly serenely while his gaze darted over you; cataloguing how many pieces of jewellery you were wearing, and calculating how many hands he’d need to win to get to the good stuff.

The fact that he hadn’t looked fazed in the least should have been your first clue. The bastard is good at poker. Or very, very lucky.

Along with your jewellery, you’re also missing both shoes and socks. Leaving you only with main items of clothing left. But you’ve been granted a reprieve in the form of a winning streak. The last few rounds have gifted you with Silco’s boots and both his socks. And, unless he’s hiding something you can’t see, you’re about to win an exquisitely tailored waistcoat.

He places down his cards and you whoop loudly, fanning your superior hand out next to his.

“Take it off,” you grin, reclining expectantly back against the sofa arm.

Again, he looks suspiciously calm as his begins unfastening the golden clasps on his vest.

You sway your head from side-to-side and begin singing under your breath; the corny kind of background music you find in low-budget pornos played in the dodgy, back-alley picture houses that litter the Lanes.

“Bow-chicka-wha—“

“Stop that.”

You watch his fingers work open the two straps that cinch his waist so nicely.

“I’ve always wondered how you get out of that thing.”

The words slip out before you’ve fully considered the connotation of them. The tips of your ears burn when Silco pauses, and raises his gaze to yours.

He takes a moment before answering, “It’s easier than it looks.”

“That so?”

“Mhm.”

“Good to know.”

His dual-eyes remain locked with yours as he shrugs out of the vest and hangs it off the back of the sofa along with his tie.

Silco deals again.

The round ends quickly. Along with your winning streak.

You stare at your shitty hand and suck your teeth. When you look up from the cards, you’re greeted with an understated expression of pure evil.

You weigh your options.

Although currently tucked into your waistband; the shirt you’re wearing today is fairly long.

So you opt for trousers.

You untuck your shirt so that it protects at least a little of your modesty, and carefully wiggle out of your trousers whilst remaining seated. Silco’s eyes glint like the edge of a blade, and you can feel their razor point trace a line from your feet, all the way up to your thighs.

“Never seen a bit of leg before?”

“Never a pair quite so fine.”

You snort a laugh, and make a show of crossing one over the other, “Quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t respond, merely smirks while he shuffles, before dealing with just a touch too much enthusiasm.

You’re once again left with a shitty hand. And sigh to yourself when Silco fans out four of a kind.

He looks positively gleeful.

Well. At least you wore a bra today. One of your nicer ones that matches your underwear too, thank the Eternals. And if you’re going down, might as well make a show of it. You loosen your shirt fastenings — relishing the thrum of Silco’s impatience with how slow you do so, despite his outward appearance being the picture of composed grace.

The material parts and slinks off your shoulders. And you take entirely too much satisfaction in the swell of Silco’s pupils.

You shrug out of it entirely, dropping it next to your trousers on the floor, and arrange yourself into a more flattering pose on the sofa facing him; legs tucked to the side, and your elbow upon the back of the sofa, enabling you to lean casually in a way that lengthens your body.

He absently shuffles the deck as he rakes his gaze over every inch of you.

You tut and hold out your hand, “If you’re too distracted to deal, then let me. I’m convinced you’re cheating anyway.”

“I’m not cheating,” he replies smoothly, but places the deck in your waiting hand regardless, “You have the worst poker face I’ve ever witnessed in my life.”

You smirk as you shuffle the cards; lacking Silco’s finesse.

“In that case, I might actually stand a chance of winning now. Seeing as you can’t keep your eyes off my tits.”

His gaze flicks up to meet yours, and his smirk widens at the same time yours does.

You deal.

And keep your triumph to yourself up until the moment Silco shows his hand.

“Full House babyyy,” you jeer, laying your cards down atop his.

You reach for your drink, taking a smug sip at the subtle tightening of Silco’s jaw. To his credit, he dutifully untucks his shirt from his trousers and begins a slow descent down the front with his fingers.

Your heart beats faster, spurred by anticipation and booze.

He parts the material.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!!”

Silco merely smiles at your outrage – small and banal – as he shrugs out of the maroon fabric, leaving him in a fitted black undervest.

“No fair. I demand compensation. You owe me nipples.”

“I owe you nothing.”

“Just one then.”

“No.”

“Come on. Quick flash.”

“How about I allow you to deal again? That’s more than fair.”

You grumble under your breath, snatching and shuffling the cards with a touch too much force.

And of course you lose the hand.

You glare at Silco.

“Deck’s rigged.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Is.”

“Sweetheart,” Silco croons emphatically, all at once managing to sound sincere, patronising, and suggestive, “Even a man such as myself has his morals. I don’t cheat at cards, and I always keep my word.” His eyes sharpen, “Question is, do you always keep yours? You agreed to play, after all.”

You’re certain that the fire beneath your skin is flickering openly in your gaze.

He reclines comfortably back and waits.

You’re certain he must be able to see the way your pulse races beneath your jawline. Perhaps even the urgent drum of your heart against your exposed ribcage. Excitement? Embarrassment? You don’t know, and you’d rather not cross examine yourself for the answer.

Crossing one arm over your chest, you reach your other behind your back and unfasten your bra. You slip it out from beneath your forearm and discard it to the floor, before crossing the other arm across your chest to cover as much as you can from him.

Silco’s ruined eye glows like stoked coal, sinful mouth curled in shameless victory.

“Would you like to shuffle, or shall I?”

Your hands may be otherwise occupied, but you still manage to poke your middle finger up over your crossed forearms well enough.

His chuckle reverberates in your bones, and you pray he doesn’t spot the goosebumps the sound raises across your thighs.

He shuffles and deals; leaving your cards stacked on the sofa just out of reach, and watches with no small amount of vulpine amusement as you glare at him, adjust your breasts to remain concealed behind a singular arm, and reach forward for your cards.

Straight Flush. Victory blooms fizzy and electric inside your chest, but you’re careful to keep it from travelling to your face.

You look up at Silco and find him utterly emotionless. You’ll give him that. His poker face is immaculate. You wonder if it will crack once he sees your nearly unbeatable hand.

You lay down the cards with a smirk.

He meets your gaze.

And lays his own down.

You feel the blood drain from your face.

Royal Flush.

The smile that cuts his face is pure evil.

Silco’s eyes flick briefly down to your one remaining item of clothing. He extends his hand, silently, and waits patiently for his prize.

[elainsgirl]

If you think Gwyn doesn't do anything for the elriel ship then why are you making theories on Elain saving azriel from Gwyn with music which btw SJM said she uses music as a way to show how a character is good and if a character doesn't like music then its evil.

Also how do you think Azriel putting Gwyn deep in his heart and smiling unconsciously thinking about her and him being calmed/settled by her and his shadows dancing and singing to only him and her will play out? (if you think its platonc then would you be okay with your partner thinking like that for another person) and if you blame all these actions on Gwyn luring Azriel with her lightsinger powers then pls do point out the canon text where lightsingers are shown to lure people by making them feel feelings. And not simply changing themselves to appear as friendly faces instead of their real faces which is not fair at all.

Elriel is going to happpen without Gwyn, she does not affect their relationship nor will play a role in their relationship. Those theories, are just theories. What ifs. Some people believe Gwyn will be manipulated, Lure Az in to an area where he will then be kidnapped by Koshei and possible be placed into a deep sleep within the prison where Elain would come and save him but again, it’s just a theory. There’s some where Amren lures Az in or he ends up imprisoned due to his own stupidity and low self worth. Ok and? Rm gwynriel have no unique musical imagery together. Nesta heard Gwyn sing and was affected by it. The singing Az heard & his shadows replied too - was faint and not a soul music, nothing came from it.

well first of anon, respectfully I dont need to exaggerate or twist canon. Az did not place the image of Gwyn “deep in his heart” it was his chest. Something he felt. Ok and when has smiling become romantic? Can you imagine how many Lis characters would have if this was the case? He smiled at the happiness Gwyn would show- In context of him being a mentor too her + seeing her at her worst, this act is a typical response. Its not inherently romantic so there’s no worry there. Nesta also felt calm bcs of Gwyn. Az being w Gwyn provided him a distraction from how he felt after his convo with Rhys but as we know that doesn’t last. A single shadow danced w gwyns BREATH, the furthest thing from romance be frl. Her breath. That is not even close to romantic. And sure, his shadows responded to her singing but again so what? If Az had said how the music settled in his soul, I’d agree that gwynriel are mates. He didn’t.

tbh anon. What did his session w gwyn end in? Not thinking about Gwyn at all after. He ended up at the library by random, not choice. He didnt care who the necklace went to. Wouldn’t call gwyn a friend. Sure he smiled, spark, glow whatever but then what.

the rite happens and he doesn’t show too much concern at Gwyn being taken, having more faith in his training. There is no shift in Gwynriel’s relationship- neither main character notices something different about their relationship. You dont have them staring at each other for long, no hand brushes. Nesta nor Cass noted any attraction or crush between them. Just nada. You get nothing for gwynriel. Where did they end? Talking about a training course. How romantic where as w elriel, they were left on a charged glance.

As for the LS bit, I already answered what I thought here.

Considering Gwyn and Az aren’t canon love interests, there is nothing to worry about for elriel. Gwyn doesn’t affect the couple or their plot. The elriel book will still go on whether or not Gwyn shows up or doesn’t.

[vershautece]

im the anon from faggotfungus posts. i wont bother dming you or saying this on ur posts bc i can tell not only you but anyone who defends the tumblr luigi sexualization, is way too slow to even try to understand what me and faggotfungus and people like us's point is

but i just need to reply to ur response to my anon question. celebrities consent to being in the limelight. luigi mangione did not. you say celebs didnt consent to being sexualized but they did and ACTIVLEY continue to be in the public eye knowing the craziness it brings. luigi did not consent to that. he is not comparable to a celeb no matter how you try to rationalize it. and the fact that ur justifcation is "he wont read this" is so.... IJBOL. as if that makes it any better. even if his friends/fam never see what u n other sexualizing blogs do, it doesnt make what u do normal.

no one says u gotta talk about his case only all day. normal thirsting is fine but u & a few other blogs are on a deranged level. faggotfungus already posted all the other deranged blogs so i mentioned urs as they didnt and ur always clogging up his tag w some nonsense. i get his attention is gonna die down til trial but the way ur so passive ab it in ur response.... u dont give a shit about him LOL

anyway tldr you're in a severe parasocial relationship and maybe dont do that with a regular civilian who hasnt been convicted of a crime yet.

idk what you’re talking about because not every single celebrity consents to being sexualised. that’s like saying it’s ok that harry styles has been sexualised constantly since he was 16, because he ‘put himself in the limelight’. im not trying to insinuate luigi is anything like a celebrity at all, im saying that these people are all human beings, who by your logic all should not be subject to over sexualisation.

i don’t think the fact he’s not gonna read any of this is ‘rationalising’ what im doing - im just struggling to understand why u give a fuck. you feel uncomfortable or sorry for luigi or whatever, but why do you have to care? my point is that if he can’t see it, if you block me, and if anyone else that doesn’t like my posts blocks me too, then why does it matter? im literally just posting my thoughts - yes they’re explicit, but it doesn’t actually harm anyone. shouldn’t you be worrying about the freaks sending him weird parasocial letters constantly? he will actually read those, and they’re coming from women who think they might marry him or something.

‘on a deranged level’ lmao as i said we’re all just horny please if ur ok with some level of thirsting then just why is it an issue for me to make any of my posts?

& can i ask how i can possibly be in a ‘severe parasocial relationship’ with someone i don’t give a shit about?? i was passive about his current situation in my response because i was pissed off, so many of u on here think that finding him attractive means u don’t actually support him, and it’s just so not true. i don’t want to talk about his conditions and the possibilities of the trial’s outcome because im scared for him and it depresses me to think about. 80% of people are going to completely forget about him in the next couple of months, and be obsessed with him again when the trial begins, and the thought of that pisses me off so much, it’s so fake. literally don’t tell me i don’t give a shit about him when u have no idea how i feel LOL.

[vegantinatalist]

RE the service dog ask from an anon, I want to ask how you convince people that service animals / riding horses is wrong? usually the response is "but MY horse is happy" (the cognitive dissonance to think their horse enjoys being beaten and having some horrible metal thing painfully rubbing on their mouth.. whatever) and the service dog one is always "Garr you're ableist" like no im not I just dont think disabled people get special privileges to abuse animals. I think the service dog pearl clutching "what about the disabled!! you have an ism!!" are the same as the freaks saying that disabled men should have rape victims provided to them by the government lol. plus with all the technology like bro. you're fine. I was going to send you a post about horse abuse but I didnt want to expose you any more to awful things you're already aware of (it was an anti-porn-unicorn post I believe) but there were some idiots in the comments going "okay while this is abusive a bit actually isn't abusive, I use one1!1" like actually kill yourself omggg. anyways. sorry im just like so unhappy all the time due to how everyone is accepting of animal abuse and ur like the only one who seems to get itt

I feel you, I totally get it. I swear I want to be a safe house for all the angriest of antispeciesists, for those of us who are ostracized even among the "vegan" crowd. Youre so on point with the "government appointed sex worker" comparison. People can delude themselves into thinking anything they do to another person is actually something that person enjoys. Even as they watch themselves do things like vote for policies that strip people of their alternative options or even as they watch themselves with their own hands break an animals will, they'll then do something to that animal and be fully convinced that their very manipulated reaction is proof they are happy. It's truly fucking insane, egotistical, delusional. Girl I got dragged to church today (my grandpa is dying soon its a whole thing) and it had been a long time for me so to be reminded of how truly fully WHACKED OUT most people are...sigh. Convincing people of things and changing their hearts and minds on a large scale requires many moving parts in order to counteract all the fucking shit out there like religion. All you need to be is a consistent voice. Post and create educational content and dont stop, and the collective efforts of the vegan community changes things over time. Some lucky days you'll get messages saying "omg this post convinced me to go vegan" and you can keep score if you want but in my opinion its best to not focus too much on the results and just focus on consistently posting. Make sure your facts are on point but dont worry about being a completely perfect character in the eyes of all, being a real person whos not afraid to act normal, be kinda dumb or bad at writing etc humanizes you to your audience and will make others like you very receptive to you. The more activists we have being real the more personalities there are for people to relate to. Make it something that is enjoyable for you to do, part of your routine. Talk to other activists and see if you can join with anyone to work on projects, even if that project is as simple as making memes.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m hoping this is the inbox- pls help I’m used to just reading what’s in the tags on tumblr and never requesting anything 🥹

I hope you’re having an amazing day/night/whatever time of day it is for you-!!! I just found your blog and I am so happy I did!! I’ve been binge reading it but the fact that I found someone who writes for Creepypasta???? I’m??? In luv??? (platonically ofc) may I request some LJ with a fem!reader who has bpd and he’s their fp, carries his little music box everywhere she goes and always “talks” to him in public, not caring about any crazy looks she gets from people?

Also politely asking to be 🩶 anon (if you’re taking any ofc-)

Laughing Jack x fem!reader w/ BPD who has him as her FP!

UEUEUEUE im so happy to hear you love my writing sm ehehehe! always thrilled to hear people enjoying my stuff/that it makes them happy! i hope you enjoy this, i havent written a reader with BPD before so i hope this is decent! also also youre doing wonderful; requesting i mean! i dont think theres many rules against how youre meant to request (every blog is different though!!)

honestly i think hes genuinely thrilled to be taken around and about with you in his little box! usually hes sitting in his box waiting for an unfortunate soul to take it home; its been like this for... a while now... so actually being able to go around and see things is a nice change of pace! plus it makes him feel more included in your life rather than just being an "at home friend"

i think in the beginning youre going to have to ask him to pipe down a little since he might talk a little too loud... like near yelling because hes just so excited

loves helping you shop :)! quick heads up though he might beg you to buy stuff you guys dont need

general silly ideas aside, i think hed be chattering the entire time so you two probably always have a conversation going on whenever you guys are out

probably sneers at people who give you looks tbh, will probably trip them if they decide to be a little ruder and mutter something under their breath while theyre passing by you... i mean they cant prove anything! they just tripped on air! jack totally didnt swipe one of his long arms out and tug their ankle back!

the only downside is that jack cant do much outside of talking and sneaking stuff around since him just fully popping out his box might blow his cover, you know? doesnt mean he doesnt have the urge to jump out when he sees you getting a little stressed out or overwhelmed about your surroundings or when someone is being particularly cruel

though i dont doubt hes remembering faces; i mean at the end of the day hes still a clown that specializes in torment, do i really need to say what hes cooking up in his brain?

no in cases where you're beginning to struggle hes probably going to try to quietly urge you to disconnect and take a breather

keeps your favorite candies on him at all times and slips them into your hand, probably does the same to any stress/fidget toys you may or may not have.. though i do hc he can just materialize certain things and i can easily see that sort of thing falling into something he can just yoink into existence

very good at reassuring you of your worth and how much you mean to him; this is a general thing but i think he makes it more of a point if self image is something you particularly struggle with

who would have thunk it, the clown with abandonment issues is good at reassuring others that hes not going to go anywhere

[reorientation]

femme transmasc here. i went to a gay club the saturday before halloween wearing a tight short black dress, no bra or binder, and the top part of the dress has a cutout that my breasts sometimes fall out of (so i wore black heart pasties over my nipples). a straight guy immediately sniffed me out (legit within five minutes) and made a connection with me, he charmed me and flirted with me and it felt so good. he admitted he was straight but "with exceptions" and when i made sure to tell him i was trans he smiled so big and said that didnt change anything for him.

i was seriously soaking my lace thong and kept giggling and looking at his lap needing his cock, its insane how quickly he had me under his spell. every sexual comment he made had me closer to pulling my breasts out and showing him how good of a girl i would be for him. we were sitting so close wrapped up in each other all evening and the intimacy was electric.

we didnt go anywhere to fuck (so many red flags even other than the fact that he was straight, i dont think the straightness would have been a dealbreaker but some other comments were concerning safety-wise) but i wanted him to take me with every fiber of my being. i wanted my breasts to fall out accidentally and to have him laugh at me and grope them. i wanted to be a woman for him and feel him empty himself inside of me. to tell him my real name and listen to him moan it as he knocked me up. fuck i think im getting really close to giving in and accepting my womanhood. i dont think i can deny myself this raw pleasure for much longer. what should i do?

It hardly feels like you need my advice - if that straight stranger had been just a bit smarter about not scaring you off, you would have done your best to make him a daddy.

I truly enjoyed hearing this, though. You went to a gay club, but tarted yourself up to put firm emphasis on your breasts and your femininity - repelling anyone there who would have wanted to fuck you as a "man", while advertising yourself to any man who came there looking for an easy girl to fuck. When one found you, you instantly got giggly and wet and ready to have his babies.

It's stories like this that show me there's something special about "transmascs": there's a real sense in which you're better girls than normal girls, you know? Getting a normal girl in the sack usually takes effort, and they tend to be wary about fucking strangers or taking it unprotected. Femininity is a background condition of their sexuality.

But if you pump a girl full of testosterone and lies about how she's "really a man", and pay her a little attention, and let her think that it's a sexy taboo thing to be called her real name... Suddenly just the fact of her biology turns her on, and you have a little whore who's ready to get knocked up within an hour of meeting you.

So to answer your question, Anon: no, you won't be able to deny yourself much longer, and you know what you should do. You lost the protection of normal womanhood when you decided to be a "femme transmasc" instead. All that's left for you now is to be a good girl.