#silco x astrid

[ink-and-dagger]

If Astrid and Silco had stayed broken up, would she have gotten rid of her rose tattoo? :O

No, I don’t think she would have. It would have remained untouched for a very long time. But, somewhere down the line, perhaps once a couple of years have passed, she would get some additions made to the design: A halo of elongated thorns around those roses (arguably reminiscent of another familiar symbol), the sharpened tips of which are stained with dried blood.

A reminder to never again allow herself to disregard the thorns - no matter how beautiful the rose.

[vanhelsingsbigtoe]

🥀 Astrid sketch🥀

A gift for @ink-and-dagger of silco trying to teach Astrid how to blow smoke rings😳🤌

I just wanted to say thank you so much for creating such and amazing story, I can truly see how much love and thought went into making it! Your writing is truly an absolute treat to read and to say thank you I drew this little sketch! I hope you like it, I had so much fun making it🫀💌🤭🥀

[ink-and-dagger]

AAAAAAAHHH I LOVE IT FRIEND!!!!!!

Unfff it's so sexy I need to get inbetween them pronto they're too hot. Also her wearing an S choker?????!!!!! INSANE jfc and her tattoos as well I'm going to die. I love this so fucking much thank you thank you thank you!!!!

Her sly expression too 100% because she knows what she's doing and she can feel him poking into her ass >:)

So far into my art for @ink-and-dagger story Drink With Me

[g4l4xy-qu33n]

omfg @ink-and-dagger

i just had the best idea for a collection of astro music videos that explains the whole of drink with me using just the arcane soundtrack but i cant animate for shit 😭

aaaaa

[animeyanderelover]

I have decided to update my list and sort everything that I write for in alphabetical order so that everyone who wants to request something has an easier time overviewing everything. Additionally I have decided to add to every show a few characters I especially adore writing about so that you can do me a little favor if you desire to do so💜.

Akame ga Kill!

𖹭Esdeath, Lubbock, Run, Wave𖹭

Akatsuki No Yona

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིJae-Ha, Shin-Ah, Son Hakᡣ𐭩ྀི

Amnesia

❦Ikki, Kent, Shin, Toma, Ukyo❦

Angels of Death

۶ৎIsaac Foster۶ৎ

Arcane

❤︎Caitlyn, Ekko, Jinx, Silco, Vi, Viktor❤︎

Assassination Classroom

♥︎Chiba, Gakuho, Itona, Isogai, Karma, Koro-sensei (human form) Maehara♥︎

Attack On Titan

♡Eren, Floch, Jean, Levi, Mikasa, Pieck���

Black Bullet

❀Kisara, Tamaki, Shouma❀

Black Butler

ᥫ᭡Ash, Bluewer, Gregory, Grell, Greenhill,Joker, Pluto, Redmond, Sebastian, Snake, Undertakerᥫ᭡

Black Clover

ᰔCharlotte, Finral, Fuegoleon, Gauche, Jack, Julius, Kirsch, Klaus, Langris, Leopold, Nacht, Nozel, Mereoleona, Raia, Rill, William, Vanessa, Vanica, Yami, Yuno,Zenon, Zoraᰔ

Bleach

ᯓᡣ𐭩Aizen, Byakuya, Gin, Grimmjow, Hisagi, Nanao, Senjumaru, Shinji, Ulquiorra, Unohana, Uraharaᯓᡣ𐭩

Blue Lock

ꨄ︎Bachira, Chigiri, Isagi, Nagi, Reo, Rin, Saeꨄ︎

Bungou Stray Dogs

‹𝟹Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor, Jouno, Kouyou, Mori, Nikolai‹𝟹

Chainsaw Man

₊˚⊹♡Aki, Kishibe, Makima₊˚⊹♡

Code Geass

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡Cornelia, Lelouch, Schneizel⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Danganronpa

୨ৎAkane, Kirigiri, Kokichi, Nagito, Rantaro୨ৎ

Darker than Black

❤️Hei, Kirihara, November 11❤️

Deadman Wonderland

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊Takami, Kiyomasa, Kengamineㅤ♡ྀི ₊

Demon Slayer

𐙚Akaza, Giyu, Gyutaro, Muzan, Obanai𐙚

Death Note

ᡣ𐭩L, Light, Mello, Misa, Nearᡣ𐭩

Devilman Crybaby

༯Akira, Ryo༯

D. Gray-man

⊹₊⟡⋆Jasdevi, Kanda, Klaud Nine, Lavi, Sheril, Tyki⊹₊⟡⋆

Diabolik Lovers

-`♡´-Azusa, Kou, Richter, Ruki, Shu, Subaru-`♡´-

Dreaming Freedom

⟡ ݁₊ .Jeongmin, Juyeon, Siyun⟡ ݁₊ .

Dr. Stone

𝜗𝜚Gen, Hyoga, Ryusui, Senku, Tsukasa𝜗𝜚

Durarara!!

🧸ྀིCelty, Izaya,Kasuka, Shizuo🧸ྀི

Fairy Tail

❥Acnologia, Erza, Gray, Irene, Rogue, Sting, Zeref❥

Fire Force

𑁤Benimaru, Hinawa, Joker, Maki𑁤

Free!

°❀⋆.ೃ��*:･Haruka, Ikuya, Rin°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Fruits Basket

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆Akito, Ayame, Hatori, Hatsuharu, Kyo⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Food Wars!

^ྀིHayama, Kobayashi, Kuga, Kurokiba, Tsukasa^ྀི

Fullmetal Alchemist

༝༚༝༚Envy, Greed, Ling Yao, Lust, Roy༝༚༝༚

Gintama

｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡Hijikata, Kamui, Sougo, Takasugi, Tsukuyo｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡

Haikyuu!!

✮⋆˙Akaashi, Bokuto, Kageyama, Nishinoya, Oikawa, Suna✮⋆˙

Harry Potter

✿Draco, Fred, George, Snape, Tom✿

Hellsing

𓆩♡𓆪Alucard, Bernadotte, Integra, Seras, The Captain𓆩♡𓆪

House of The Dragon

ֶָ֢Aegon, Aemond, Daemon, Jacaerys, Rhaenyraֶָ֢

How To Train Your Dragon

❣︎Astrid, Dagur, Heather, Hiccup❣︎

Hunter x Hunter

 ꫂ ၴႅၴChrollo, Feitan, Hisoka, Illumi, Killua, Kurapika, Pakunoda, Shalnark, Shaiapoufꫂ ၴႅၴ

Inuyasha

𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡Kagura, Kikyo, Kohaku, Naraku, Sesshomaru𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡

Inu x Boku SS

💋ྀིྀིKaruto, Miketsukami, Natsuma, Sorinozuka💋ྀིྀི

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

⛇☃︎Abbacchio, Anasui, DIO, Giorno, Jolyne, Kira, Risotto ⛇☃︎

Jujutsu Kaisen

ღChoso, Geto, Gojo, Megumi, Mei Mei, Nanami, Sukuna, Tojiღ

Kakegurui

∞Kirari, Mary, Midari, Ririka, Yumeko∞

Kakegurui Twin

🤍Juraku, Mary, Sakura🤍

Kamisama Kiss

ּ ֶָ֢.Kurama, Mizuki, Tomoeּ ֶָ֢.

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

────୨ৎ────Byakuran, Collonello (True Form), Dino, Fon (True Form), Hibari, Mukuro, Reborn (True Form)────୨ৎ────

Kuroko's Basketball

⋆.˚🦋༘⋆Akashi, Aomine, Himuro, Kise, Murasakibara⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

Lord of the Rings

⋆Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, Legolas, Galadriel⋆

Lupin lll

⋆. ���� ˚Daisuke, Fujiko, Goemon, Lupin⋆. 𐙚 ˚

Maid-sama

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡Hinata, Misaki, Takumi⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Marvel (The Movies)

💗ྀིBlack Widow, Black Panther, Captain America, Deadpool, Iron Man, Killmonger, Loki, Wolverine💗ྀི

Mirai Nikki

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖Akise, Minene, Yuno˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

My Hero Academia

⋆˙⟡Dabi, Hawks, Mirko, Monoma, Shigaraki, Shouto, Tamaki⋆˙⟡

Naruto

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩Itachi, Minato, Obito, Sasuke, Shisui, Tobirama, Tsunadeᯓ ᡣ𐭩

Noragami

.☘︎ ݁˖Bishamonten, Kazuma, Kofuku, Yato.☘︎ ݁˖

One Piece (Anime + Live Action)

♡ྀིAce, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Luffy, Mihawk, Robin, Rosinante, Sanji, Smoker♡ྀི

Ouran High School Host Club

࣪ ִֶָ☾.Hikaru, Kaoru, Kyoya, Tamaki࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Owari No Seraph

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪Crowley, Ferid, Horn, Shinya, Urd⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

Pandora Hearts

☆Elliot, Gilbert, Jack, Oswald, Vincent, Xerxes☆

Sailor Moon

♱Blue Saphire, Crimson Rubeus, Green Esmeraude, Jadeite, Kunzite, Nephrite, Prince Demande, Queen Beryl, Queen Nehellenia, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mars, Sailor Moon, Sailor Neptune, Sailor Pluto, Sailor Uranus, Sailor Venus, Tuxedo Mask, Zoisite♱

Secret Alliance

💖Chae Yul💖

Servamp

𓆩❤︎𓆪All of Love, Lawless, Licht, Sleepy Ash, Tsubaki𓆩❤︎𓆪

Seven Deadly Sins

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗Arthur, Ban, Derieri, Gilthunder, Merlin˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Sirius

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـDorothea, Hideomi, Yulilyﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Souleater

‎♡‧₊˚Asura, Death The Kid, Franken Stein, Medusa‎♡‧₊˚

Star Wars (The Movies)

◡̈Anakin, Darth Maul, Leia, Luke, Kylo Ren◡̈

The Addams Family (1991 + 1993)

જ⁀➴ ♡Gomez Addams, Morticia Addamsજ⁀➴ ♡

The Boys

✗♡✗♡Butcher, Homelander, Kimiko, Queen Maeve, Soldier Boy✗♡✗♡

The Case Study of Vanitas

.ᐟAstolfo, Dominique, Jeanne, Noé, Vanitas.ᐟ

The Glory

♛Do-yeong, Dong-eun, Hye-jeong, Jae-joon, Sa-ra, Yeo-jong, Yeon-jin♛

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

ʚɞHanako, Hyuuga, Minamoto, Tsuchigomori, Tsukasaʚɞ

The Vampire Diaries

♱⃓Damon, Elijah, Niklaus, Kol, Rebekah♱⃓

Tokyo Ghoul

١٥٧٤♡Arima, Ayato, Eto, Kaneki, Tsukiyama١٥٧٤♡

Tokyo Revengers

♡ ̆̈Baji, Chifuyu, Inue, Izana, Kazutora, Kokonoi, Mikey♡ ̆̈

Twilight (The Movies)

✮Alec, Alice, Aro, Caius, Carlisle, Demetri, Embry, Jacob, Jane, Jared, Jasper, Leah, Marcus, Paul, Seth✮

Vampire Knight

⭑.ᐟAkatsuki, Cross, Hanabusa, Kaname, Rima, Ruka, Senri, Takuma, Yagari, Zero⭑.ᐟ

Vinland Saga

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆Askeladd, Canute, Thorfinn⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Yu Yu Hakusho

𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀིHiei, Kurama, Yusuke𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི

[jadeddangel]

Asks/Reguests: Open

Sup! You guys can call me Lulu! This is mostly an 18+ page, so I just ask that minors don't interact.

Gemini, gender-fluid, and I go by any pronouns

Pookie: @christianthefag69

Who I will write for:

Hunter x Hunter:

Hisoka

Meruem

Illumi

Silva

Chrollo

Shalnark

Uvogin

Machi

Shizuku

Fnaf:

Sundrop/Moondrop/Eclipse

Micheal Afton

Bonnie

Freddy Fazbear

Glamrock Freddy

Roxanne Wolf

Montgomery gator

Glamrock Chica

One piece:

Zoro

Sanji

Robin

Franky

Luffy

Ace

Crocodile

Buggy the Clown

Hazbin hotel & Helluva boss:

Octavia

Luna

Stolas

Asmodeus

Fizzoroli

Alastor

Adam

Lute

Angel dust

Lucifer

Husker

Zestial

Rosie

Carmilla

Glitz and Glam

Vox

Valentino

Velvette

Arcane:

Jinx

Vi

Silco

Ekko

Ambessa

Sevika

Viktor

Jayce talis

HTTYD:

Hiccup

Astrid

Heather

Viggo

Dagger

Attack on Titan:

Eren

Levi

Mikasa

Jean

Connie

Onyankapon

Hange

Marco

Reiner

Jujitsu kaisen:

Gojo

Toji

Geto

Creepypasta and marble hornets:

Jeff the killer

Masky/tim

Hoodie/Brian

Ticcy Toby eren rogers

Slenderman

Eyeless jack

The Owl House:

Amity Blight

Luz Noceda

Eda The Owl Lady

Raine Whispers

The collecter

Hunter

Other:

Sal fisher (Sally face)

Mizu (blue eyed samurai)

Kinktober

Boundaries:

I will not write any of the following:

Ships of any kind unless there is a reader involved between the 2

Anything revolving around child porn or anything revolving around age play or an age play fetish

Scat and piss is a big no no

ANY MINORS I WRITE FOR WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING SMUTTY DO NOT SEND A REQUEST FOR A SMUT OR ANYTHING BEYOND KISSES (depends on the age of the character) FOR THOSE CHARACTERS

What I will write:

I will write the following:

Age regression( only for comfort and angst)

Yandere

Toxic relationships

Non-con, Dub-con

Trauma comfort

Or any questions you have about me!!

Don't see something you would like to read? Go ahead and go to my asks and I'll answer as soon as possible!!

[gh0stlyb34r]

୧ astrid's f/o's ও

a list of my f/o's sorted by what media they are from! I am very selective when it comes with sharing some of these f/o's so the only thing I ask is that if you do have the same f/o(s) as me, specifically the ones I say are nonsharing, is that you please don't tell me you share those f/o's! I also selfship with a few of my own oc's as well as some oc's that I enjoy, these will not be included in this list!

marvel ও

logan howlett - x-men - romantic

peter b parker - across the spiderverse / into the spiderverse - romantic

steven grant - moon knight - romantic - nonsharing

tony stark - the avengers - familial

peter parker - spiderman - familial

loki - the avengers - familial

agatha harkness - wandavision / agatha all along - familial

star wars ও

din djarin - the mandalorian - romantic - nonsharing

obi-wan kenobi - star wars prequels - romantic

luke skywalker - romantic

anakin skywalker - star wars prequels - platonic

overwatch ও

cole cassidy - romantic - nonsharing

juno - parental

hanzo - romantic

dcu ও

bruce wayne - the batman - romantic - nonsharing

nightwing - titans - romantic

tlovm ও

percy de rolo - romantic - nonsharing

vax'ildan vessar - romantic - nonsharing

vex'ahlia vessar - platonic

call of duty ও

simon riley - modern warfare 2 / 3 - romantic - nonsharing

john mactavish - modern warfare 2 / 3 - romantic

john price - modern warfare 1 / 2 / 3 - familial

kate laswell - modern warfare 1 / 2 / 3 - familial

criminal minds ও

spencer reid - romantic

jj - familial

emily prentiss - platonic

arcane ও

viktor - romantic

jayce talis - romantic

jinx - parental

silco - romantic

vander - familial

httyd ও

hiccup - specifically httyd 3 - romantic

astrid - oc x canon - romantic

marauders / harry potter ও

remus lupin - romantic

sirius black - romantic

luna lovegood - parental

new girl ও

nick miller - romantic

disney ও

flynn rider - tangled - romantic

zed - zombies 1 / 2 / 3 - oc x canon - romantic

musicals ও

erik destler - the phantom of the opera - romantic

glinda upland - wicked - platonic

stranger things ও

steve harrington - romantic

eddie munson - romantic

max mayfield - familial

tlou ও

joel miller - romantic

ellie williams - parental

dbh ও

rk900 / nines - romantic

gavin reed - romantic

connor / rk800 - romantic

hank anderson - familial

heartstopper ও

tori spring - oc x canon - romantic

tua ও

ben hargreeves - platonic

viktor hargreeves - romantic

[juniper-sunny]

WIP - Tagging Game

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.

tagged by @lullabyes22-blog and @karnaca78 :3c

"A Knight to Remember" - part 3 & 4

"Dancing in the Dark"

"Devotion"

"TAITH rewrite"

"Ramattra x Reader fic"

"TLOU AU"

titles under the cut!

@deny-the-issue @silcoitus @purplefangirl42 @astudyincontrasts @ink-and-dagger @muddiestpath @sherwood-forests @onewhoturns @chaoticlicense @abitohoney <3

from left to right, top to bottom:

Leather Jacket Astrid

Buddy DILFs

Iris outfits

Lilah & Murkrow

Astrid & Vulpix

Rosamund & Alcremie

Silco rolling up sleeves

IN GOD WE RUST

DE Skills/AC Villagers (1)

Blue Amherst character sheet

PLA team

Silco x Iris

SI Chapter 1

DE Skills/AC Villagers (2)

ghosthoney Comic

Eggscelsior! Dragons

[ink-and-dagger]

What if Astrid find a pic of young Silco by accident hehhehehehhehehehehhe

Snapshot

A Drink With Me ficlet

870 words || Established relationship || Silco x Astrid (but can be read as gen f!reader) || SFW but suggestive || MDNI

“Oh my Gods.”

“What?”

“Oh. My Gods.”

Time has stripped the photograph between your fingers of its glossy sheen and has left the edges blunt and frayed, but you would recognise those features anywhere; no less sharp nor striking through the faded sepia.

“This is you.”

It had slipped from between two ledgers as you’d perused Silco’s bookshelves – an activity more to entertain your idle hands than a genuine search for reading material. The image itself is simple and candid: A young man, seemingly oblivious to the fact his portrait is being taken, sat at a familiar bar, with eyes downcast toward a spread of papers.

That same man looks up at you now from a very similar spread of papers. “What is?”

“This.” You drift over to his desk and perch on its edge, all the while unable to tear your gaze from the photo in your hands. The pitch dark hair swept back into a low bun. The familiar strays – the same ones that even now will always be the first to escape any styling under the combing of agitated fingers – falling forward into his face, only far longer and thicker than you’re used to. His skin, unblemished and smooth, save for the chronic furrow between his brows – etched there long before time and tragedy ravaged the rest.

Silco hums absently; an indication that he acknowledges your discovery but finds little interest in it. You can imagine the man in the photograph making the exact same noise, were someone to distract him from his paperwork for a reason he deemed benign. You flip the photo over. No date.

“How old are you here?”

Silco exhales through his nose, places his pen down with a pointed clack, and extends his hand wordlessly toward you.

“Hah! Do you think I’m wet behind the ears?” you hold the photograph out of his reach, “You can tell just fine from over there thank you very much.”

He cuts you a scathing glance, before leaning forward in his chair with a foreboding creak to peer more closely at the image. His scarred lips purse slightly in thought.

“Mid–late twenties. I can’t say for certain.”

“You were hot.”

“Were?”

“Were and are,” you coo, reclining backwards over the desk into his space, one elbow pitched on his paperwork to hold your weight whilst you flap the photograph in front of his face, “Can I keep this?”

“For what reason?”

“Dirty ones.”

“Hardly necessary,” Silco says, the very corner of his mouth creasing upwards as he catches your wrist to halt your photo-flapping, “You have access to the real thing.”

“True, true, and you can be sure I’ll continue taking advantage of that.” You grin, shoving your captured, photo-wielding arm a little closer to him in emphasis, “But right now I’m talking about some alone time with this guy.”

Silco scoffs under his breath and releases your wrist. You twist onto your front, weight propped on both elbows as you admire the photograph in your grip. You trace a finger down the slender throat of the man in the photo, over the generous wedge of chest exposed by his open crimson collar.

“D’you think he’d notice me? If I came into that bar?”

“Oh I’m certain he would.”

“Yeah?” You lift your gaze from the man in the photo to the one before you – as equally breathtaking. More so. You catch your lower lip between your teeth. “What line would he use?”

Silco hums, low and thoughtful, leaning forward in his chair, closing in on your space. He picks up his abandoned pen, briefly twirling the implement until it’s poised between his elegant fingers like a cigarette. Nib safely facing his own palm.

“After downing the dregs of his drink for courage... he would have approached you.”

With sensual tenderness, he brushes the barrel of his pen along your cheek, warmed metal against warmer skin. Catching at the curve of your jawline, and tracing over your pulse in a way that makes it fumble a beat.

“Cast his gaze over each of your pretty, pretty features. One by one,” he murmurs, slowly drawing the end of the pen down your jugular, down the slope of your collar bone, to leisurely trail through the cut of your cleavage. The corner of your mouth hooks up. The warmth low in your belly coils a little tighter.

“He would have leaned in close,” Silco whispers, demonstrating just so, “Close enough that you’d almost taste the whiskey on his breath.”

Blunt metal drags a purposeful line up your throat, and your lips part softly as he tilts your face toward his with the barrel of his pen flat and firm beneath your chin.

“And asked you – very nicely – to stop leaning on his paperwork.”

You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek while Silco’s dual eyes sizzle with smug mirth. It’d be unthinkable, really – to forfeit either one for the sake of a matching pair.

You straighten and push off his desk, hips swaying as you saunter over to the bedroom with the photograph in hand.

“Well,” you say, pausing in the threshold and turning to him with a smirk, “If you need us, you know where we’ll be.”

[ink-and-dagger]

AAAAH Coi I love it I love it I love it

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Honestly I’m so honoured that you took time to create this for me, and that you’re re-reading my silly ol fic as inspiration for your own.

I love the Piltover Bullshit™️ plaque 💀

Also is that your irl handwriting at the top there? Because if so I’m extremely aroused by the way you write the letter f that’s a sexy f

"The tradition spans back so many generations that no one knows anymore who first started it. There’s an old wives tale, that the circular base of the fountain used to be smaller, but that it’s grown in circumference over the years due to the ever mounting layers of white paint they’ve had to add to cover the relentless markings."

I've been rereading "Drink With Me" by @ink-and-dagger to help get me inspired to finish TMSA. I felt compelled to bring the image of the fountain tradition to life, so I drew this. ("Drew?" I traced a Wikimedia commons fountain picture and then colored it. Does that count as drawing???)

Anyway, have some DWM fanart that doesn't have people cause I do better with objects than people lol

[dad-dumpster]

silco u almost fumbled the bag my guy MY GUY!!

[thesaltybuns]

I was in need of some indulgent self care yesterday, and since I got so many Silco goodies in the mail I figured I’d stay on theme, so I drew one of my favorite scenes from @ink-and-dagger‘s Drink With Me, inspired by this post!

[ink-and-dagger]

AAAAAAAAAA IT’S THEM YOUR HONOUR 🥹💜relationship dynamic 100% down. God I love it when they’re domestic. Thank you so so much Fluffy, I bloody love these comics 💜🖤🥃

Astrid tries to flirt her way out of a situation of her own making @ink-and-dagger

[jennithejester]

Need (AU of Drink With Me (Arcane AU))

(Aka the giant head cannon that happened mere minutes after the authors inability to cope with her feelers after @ink-and-dagger wrote Chapter 14 of Drink With Me, a fan fic that has recently consumed many a Silco Simp soul on AO3…essentially parallel universe fluffy shit. Also affectionately called: KERBLOOEY, due to aforementioned head cannon.)

Pairings: Silco / Reader (yes that means you, you beauty - cough- Astrid - cough-) Words: 6,771

(PS. This was written in a fever-dream and had no editor or other set of eyeballs so please forgive any terrible typos and mistakes.)

On with the show…

——————————————————————-

Silco sat upon the floor, leaned back against the underside of his desk, in his office that was now partially destroyed. By his own hand, no less, he thought miserably as he fumbled through the mess surrounding him to find a cigar, its cutter, and his lighter. His hands froze as he hovered over the ashtray, he’d also moved to grab, when he’d noticed it was cracked in two. Jinx had decorated that, much like his coffee mug, as a gift years ago that he secretly cherished (or not so secretly by the eye-rolls for months Sevika had given him), and now here in his rage, he’d broken it. Frantically, he crawled up his toppled over desk to stand and searched his room before his eyes fell onto the mug…luckily still intact. He breathed an audible sigh of relief and sat down on the sofa and surveyed the room.

His office had seen its share of violence over the years, mostly in the form of the blood of someone who decided stupidly to cross him, but he’d really made a spectacular mess of things this time. Silco sighed and placed his head in his hands.

“A spectacular mess,” he repeated out loud into the quiet of the office, dejectedly, as his thoughts turned to you and not the physical destruction in front of him.

He carded his hand through his hair before the trimmed the cigar he still held, placed it in his lips, and lit it. He took a slow, long draw of it before slumping back against the sofa and closed his eye as he exhaled.

“I waited until the noise stopped,” a voice came from above him as he slowly opened his eye to see two blue ones staring down at him from within the rafters.

Silco watched Jinx then contemplate how she was going to get down with her usual landing spot, his desk on its side. She hung by her arms for a bit and stretched her long, lean form to touch her tiptoes on the side of drawers from the desk before lowering herself onto them carefully. She then sat cross-legged, still atop the desk drawers and leveled him with a glare.

“So?” She asked, expectantly.

“So?”

“So what the hell was this all about?” She asked him as her eyes narrowed a bit, knowingly.

“I’m sure you’re already aware. I seem to recall your telling—“ he stopped himself before he said your name out loud and then he started again, a frown upon his lips. “I’d heard you bragged once about knowing anything and everything that went on around here.”

“I’m asking you,” she parroted words he’d used with her not too long ago as she continued to glare at him.

Silco sighed. His entire body was sore and exhausted from the tantrum he’d thrown earlier. Yes, that was exactly what it was – a tantrum, he chided himself. He really wasn’t ready to deal with this now, especially with Jinx.

“Well?” She drawled impatiently as she crumpled up a piece of paper that was sticking out of the desk drawer and threw it at his head.

It didn’t miss.

“You’re too young for the subject matter of this conversation, Jinx. I really don’t think—“

“So she fucked that asshole Marcus once, so what?” She stated bluntly and watched her father’s face blush, a rare occurrence and her smirk did not hide her feeling of accomplishing pulling that out of him.

Silco paused, attempting to collect his composure and he took another pull from his cigar before speaking, “I was more than willing to forgive her for that dalliance. We all make mistakes, after all.”

“Forgive her?”

“Yes.”

“She did that before she ever even worked here, before she knew you and by the way I heard she tossed him out on his ass after he had the balls to flirt with her after you ended your meeting with him, I’m pretty sure there were no lingering feelings, Dad.”

Silco ground his teeth and seethed, anger boiling in him in the new knowledge that the interaction with Marcus had not ended within his office. Jinx watched as he angrily clawed his empty hand into the sofa’s leather.

“You’re still angry about that,” she stated a bit in wonder as she hopped off the desk and walked over to sit next to him on the more comfortable sofa. “Hmm, I wonder why?”

Her last sentence was said sagely, as if she knew something he didn’t. He scoffed.

“If you know that, you also know how she acts around the customers, flaunting herself out to them like, like a—“

Don’t you dare finish that sentence! He heard your voice in his head. Silco actually flinched visibly as if slapped and stopped himself from continuing.

“Like a very good bartender? Like someone who makes the assholes that make you money that come in here looking for a good time feel good about themselves to buy more booze and tip better? That’s all that is, you know that right? Her doing her job. It’s nothing to be jealous of cause its nothing like she is when she’s with you.”

Silco is quiet for a few moments as the ash from his cigar drops to the floor and he doesn’t seem to notice.

“It doesn’t matter, Jinx,” he said softly. “Not anymore. It apparently never did.”

Jinx’s mouth formed a frown and her eyebrows knit together in confusion as she watched her father slump deeper into the sofa, lean his head back, and close his eye.

“What happened between you two before you did this?” Jinx asked in a small voice that reminded him too much of Powder as he eyed her cautiously. “Walk me thru it.”

“Jinx,” he cautioned as he placed a hand on her shoulder, worried that an episode may have been creeping up on her as her eyes took on a distant look.

“Please. Tell me,” she implored and then gave him a pleading look with her big, blue eyes – one that she knew always worked on him — and he softened under her gaze.

So he did. He walked Jinx through it all and didn’t hold back any details, as badly as it painted him in that moment, but also with what he believed he’d gleaned in your revelation of how you were so very good about getting people to eat out of the palm of your hand. He didn’t leave out the part where you didn’t even bother, when he’d drawn his own conclusions, to tell him he was wrong. He’d even given you an opportunity to clarify things, but you’d refused.

Go fuck yourself, Silco. Drink alone.

When his tale was done, he’d found he wasn’t able to look Jinx in the eyes. A part of him knew in what had transpired between you both that Jinx was potentially also losing something, with as fond of you she had grown. When she was quiet too long, he looked back at her and she had tears in her eyes as she looked at him. Jinx suddenly flung herself at him and hugged him tight. He felt his arms coming up around her uncertainly before then tightening around her.

“You know,” she said with her face buried in his shoulder, “after I walked in on you two and I was…all weird…”

“Jinx, that wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. I know it was an accident. My point was tho that when <y/n> came over to check on me, I didn’t understand that at the time. I didn’t understand why she still wanted to be my friend, why she still cared about me. You know what she said?”

Silco pulled her back to look her in the face and he wiped some of the tears from her eyes, “What was that?”

“She said ‘You don’t quit on the people you care about just cause things get weird or tough’,” she said before she hugged him again, her face buried once again in his shoulder. “Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe someone like <y/n> could care about you?”

Jinx felt his arms stiffen around her and his entire body tensed. He then sighed audibly, “Jinx, this is why I didn’t want to go into this with you. Adults and their relationships can be…complex.”

Her crying stopped immediately and she pulled back to glare at him, “Why does everyone keep saying this to me like I’m an idiot? I’m a teenager, I’m not a little kid. I’m not dumb.”

Jinx proceeded to push off of him to stand and then pace the room as she continued, “Complex.” She rolled her eyes and her head rolled with it, a gesture learned directly from her father. “You know, when she came to see me that day I actually asked her if she wanted to be your girlfriend. You should have seen the goofball look on her face before she realized she made it. But, Dad, that’s not the reason I know why she cares about you—hell, I’m pretty sure she’s in love with you at this point.”

Silco didn’t realize he was sitting there with a gobsmacked expression on his face as she continued to ramble about you. His cigar, long forgotten about, fell out of his hands to the floor below, adding to the mess of the room.

“No, I know she does, come to think of it. She saved your life twice already and I mean — that was probably the least flattering picture I have taken of you ever and she still wanted to have it so she could have a picture of you when she wasn’t here,” she rambled on before her pacing came to a sudden stop, her lower lip beginning to quiver again, her voice coming out small and a whisper. “She wanted to be a part of our family, too. I know it. When I showed her that I had that photo of the three of us from dinner that night in my family album. Dad, the look on her face…”

I just want to find somewhere I belong, unconditionally.

Silco felt like he was going to be sick. He sat forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Could he have been that blind? He mentally replayed the moments between you both since the very beginning. In his anger when he’d done the same previously, his rage and insecurities had colored and read things into it that simply were not there. Through it all he always questioned your motives, wondering always what you wanted out of all of this. Could it have all been so simple? Could you really have just wanted him and to be a part of his and Jinx’s lives?

Why had the knowledge of Marcus and your dalliance bothered him so much? It was clear you didn’t even recall his name when you’d entered the room, making him meaningless to you. He should have seen that. Hell, you’d even dressed up that damned cocktail he’d asked you to prepare for Marcus with a bit of extra ridiculousness to poke fun at his Piltie guest just for his amusement, not for Marcus. He’d not even given you a chance before he shut you out that instant in his, what, jealousy?, he’d asked himself. Marcus was a younger man, good looking, unscarred. How could you want something like him when you could have anyone in the room?

You had called him handsome now multiple times.

In the last of the tender moments between you both, you’d even called him cute.

Was he really this insecure, he thought?

Jinx had come over to kneel in front of him without his realizing as he drowned himself in his thoughts and guilt. He looked up to meet her gaze when she placed a hand on his knee. She didn’t think she’d ever seen her father, the Eye of Zaun, look so lost and hopeless as he did in this moment.

“Oh, Jinx,” he started as he gently brushed a tear from her cheek. “What have I done? All this time I refused to see, to believe…”

“So fix it,” she said simply with a small smile of encouragement.

Silco shook his head though and stood to walk across the room, “I showed her the monster I truly am today, Jinx. She was terrified of me when she left, likely thinking I was going to have her killed in my fury.”

Jinx merely shrugged, “You wouldn’t have. Deep down I’m sure she knows that.”

“No, Jinx, you don’t understand. I did not hold back. I was absolutely cruel to her,” he began before she cut him off.

“Yeah, cause you were hurting.”

Silco didn’t have a retort to that.

“Dad, <y/n>’s not blind. She knew what she was getting in to the second she accepted my offer to work here, let alone when she started being friends with you. She knows the world we live in and she knows exactly what you’re capable of….good and bad. She wouldn’t have hung around if she wasn’t okay with all of it, you know that right?”

I like you just the way you are.

When did his daughter become so wise?

Jinx strode over to his coat rack (one of the few things he’d not destroyed in the room, he noted) and pulled his coat off of it and threw it at his head, unceremoniously.

“GO, right now, and go fix this. If she’s as scared as you said she was when she left here she’s probably a mess right now and I don’t want us to lose her. So GO!” Jinx said as she pushed him to his door, glass from the broken bottle and crystal tumblers crunching under his boots. “I’ll have Sevika and the boys help me get this mess fixed up while you go. Jeez, I thought I was bad.”

Silco put on his coat almost in a haze and descended the staircase to make his way out of the club. He felt Sevika’s eyes on him as he walked across the dance floor as well as another set of eyes – Jasper. They surprisingly both intercepted him before he reached the front door, which was barred, he’d noticed.

“Goin out?” Sevika asked as she crossed her arms and stood a bit in front of the door.

Silco narrowed his eye at her the flame in his corrupt eye flared a bit at her getting in his way, “Yes.”

“Before you go, you might want to think really hard before you do what I think you’re getting ready to do,” she said with a bit of warning and Silco noted that Jasper moved a bit closer to the door as well. “You don’t want to do this.”

“And what exactly do you presume I’m getting ready to do, Sevika?” He asked in a cold tone.

“She doesn’t deserve this. She didn’t do anything wrong and you know it,” she said quietly, surprising Silco a bit that she’d cared enough about you to defend you even to him.

His lip curled upward, ever so slightly, “I know.”

“You know as well as I do that what she—-wait, what? You know?” Sevika started and then her eyes widened, realizing what he’d said.

“Yes, and while I appreciate the fact that you and Jasper both care enough for her to try to protect her…even from me, I would like to at least try to undo what I’ve done quickly, Sevika,” he said as he moved to pull the bar from the door when Jasper’s large hand clamped down on it swiftly.

Silco’s eyebrow raised high on his head before his eye narrowed at the large bear of a man. Jasper himself swallowed hard, a bit surprised that he even did what he had, knowing Silco likely would have him killed for this level of disobedience. Oh well, if Silco was going to have him killed, better make it worth it. Forgive me my beautiful Max…

“I warned her for a long time that she was playing with fire with you,” he began as Silco eyed the door again and looked more annoyed than angry with Jasper as he waited. “But she shut me down so many times, the last one she practically yelled at me when she told me the reason why she kept coming back there was she actually cared for you…You don’t deserve her—“

“I know,” Silco interrupted and Jasper’s eyes grew large as he took the man in. “I need her, though…and I don’t need anything.”

Jasper paused for only a few seconds before removing the bar on the door himself.

“I’ll go with you,” Sevika began and continued when Silco acted like he was going to interrupt. “Barons have been acting up lately and just think of me as a backup. You get out of line with her, I can keep you in check. With your permission of course.”

Any other day he’d have loved to wipe that cheeky grin right of her face with a slap, but her words rang of truth too much for him to ignore, “Permission granted.”

—-

You weren’t sure how long you stayed there, huddled on the floor against the wall with your arm held aloft, the flimsy kitchen knife within your hand, clanking as it shook. When no one came to crash let alone knock on your door after a considerable time, the reality of what had happened really began to hit you. You crawled your way back up the wall into a standing position, every inch of you shaking still, and then backed your way down the hallway, still keeping a leery eye on the front door. Eyes looked over to the blade you held within your hand and it seemed foreign and a bit pointless as you knew had he come for you or had he sent someone to take care of the problem (words you’d heard on his lips before, but never in regards to you) that this would never help.

The knife clattered as it was simply dropped carelessly to the floor.

As you stood in the doorway of your bedroom, still facing your apartment door, you realized how quiet it really was as you heard the thundering of your heart and your ragged breathing fill the silence. It was only then that you brought your hand to your face to realize you had tears that burned its surface. You didn’t even realize you’d been crying. The events of the evening, though, slowly began to replay themselves within your mind. Painfully, your conscious decided to start before the event with that Piltie sheriff scum, with the events in the back of the club when you and Silco were alone.

You remembered how he kissed you like he couldn’t get enough and would eat you alive if you’d only let him consume you. The vulnerability in his gaze at you, his reluctance to leave, his touch of longing and what you thought was something else, something deeper you had dared not label, after you had kissed him quickly before leaving…

Then you felt your throat constrict and your heart plummet on itself as you recalled his cool, ice-like gaze when Marcus revealed how you knew one another. How he’d never even given you a chance to discuss the matter before dismissing you. How you felt as he avoided you days after. Then that horrible argument in his office where in trying to make a point about the differences between what you did as a bartender and what he meant you, he’d misinterpreted and actually believed…

Silco thought everything you’d said to him, every touch, every moment, everything you’d ever shared together…was an act…was a lie.

Suddenly, you couldn’t breath as a strangled sound tried to clear your throat and you clutched at it and put a hand on the wall, attempting to calm yourself.

It’s the adrenaline. You’re fine. You’re okay.

This time though, his voice in your head only amplifies your constricted breathing. The burn of hurt that rises within you, realizing that you will likely never hear him talk to you like this ever again with the depth of caring he had in that moment, threatens to drown you and spots begin to form in your vision as you stagger back down the hallway towards the front door.

Breathe, you once again hear his voice press you.

When you reach deep down within your heart to try to find a reason to do so, you find it empty and you make a choking noise as you feel more tears burn your face. The most important people in your life were now all gone. You’d lost Silco. You knew it the moment you watched him unravel everything you’d built when he’d twisted your words within his mind and so easily convinced himself that everything you’d ever had with him was fake—an act on your part, a means to an end to gain something from him. The things he’d said to you were terrible and you were proud of yourself for not following Sevika’s advice and standing up for yourself. That didn’t make you regret how he interpreted what you’d said any less though. In losing him, you now realize, you’ve also lost Jinx and you honestly are surprised when you don’t hear the last bit of your heart physically shatter in that realization as what little oxygen you had been able to hold onto left your lungs.

Willingly, you let the darkness that creeps into your vision take you under as your body crumples upon itself limply onto the floor as you lose consciousness.

——

Silco didn’t know how long he stood outside your apartment door, unable to knock. He’d noted that it looked like you’d broken it in, pieces of the wood frayed and the lock completely off its hinge, likely having forgotten your coat back at The Last Drop when you’d left in a hurry, your keys within its pockets…afraid. Afraid of him. He placed his hand on his forehead, the guilt of the entire situation eating at him, before he racked his hand down his face with a sigh. He looked down the stairs at Sevika who was standing there impatiently, glaring at him from the landing below. She threw her hands up as if to say ‘well?’. He just narrowed his eye to her and glared before finally bringing his knuckles up to wrap on the door.

After several moments of complete silence, he placed his ear closer to the door, “<Y/n>?”

Still not one sound came from the other side of the door. Silco brow furrowed as he knocked again, louder this time and called your name again. He was once again greeted by complete silence.

Silco braced his shoulder against the side of the door and shoved a bit, “<Y/n>, I’m coming in. I’m not here to hurt you, I just want to talk.”

The door moved inward slightly, his realization that you must have blocked it with something when you destroyed the lock. He heard the noise of the table on the floor as he shoved the door open far enough to peek his head inside.

“<Y/n>?” He called into the room as he attempted to look for you with the limited view he had as he angled his neck to see.

Silco’s eyes fell upon you and his blood ran cold. You were crumpled on the floor in the hallway entrance, unmoving. He screamed your name again and you still remained still and he began to panic as he hurled his shoulder repeatedly into the door. At the noise, Sevika ran up the stairs to stop him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” She hollered at him as she grabbed him by the shoulders to pull him back. “You’ll scare her to death trying to beat down the door!”

“Sevika, you have to help me get that door open! I can see her in there lying on the floor and she’s—I think she’s hurt, I just—I don’t know—“ Silco was in a panic and Sevika was trying to pick up on what he was saying as she then also stuck her head in the door and looked around. It was her turn to panic as her eyes widened at seeing you in a crumpled heap upon the floor.

“On the count of three,” a look of concern and sudden understanding was carved upon her face as she looked to Silco as she spoke and he nodded to her. The two of them rammed their shoulders against the frail door, splintering it as it moved further inward, enough for Silco to squeeze thru as Sevika worked to open it more fully still.

Almost tripping over himself attempting to get around the door and the items stacked against it, he hurried over to your side and turned you gently to face him as he knelt down on the floor beside you. Your face was pale—too pale he noted—as he ripped off his glove with his teeth to feel for your pulse at your neck, his eye closing as he almost thought of praying to whatever gods would listen that he found a beat beneath his fingertips. When he felt your heartbeat, a shuddered sigh escaped his lips and he pulled you to him and called your name, his voice breaking a bit.

In your mind you felt your body being moved and heard a muffled voice call your name. It felt like you were underwater and someone was trying to pull you out of its depths. You didn’t want to leave this place. It was safe here, peaceful, within the warm depths you found yourself in as you felt like you were sinking deeper into the water’s velvet embrace. The voice was growing louder though, more persistent, and the hands that had moved you, you could feel tighten around you, pulling you closer and closer to the surface. The warmth of the water and peace disappeared, replaced by cold and a feeling of fear and dread. You could now feel you were in someone’s arms. One hand felt the cold of the kitchen flooring while the other felt clothing curl within its fingers and a warm body beneath. The scent of cigars, whiskey, and cologne filled your nostrils.

His cigars, his whiskey, his cologne.

Silco, your mind remembered, reverently at first.

Silco! It shouted and screamed at you as the events leading up to now hit you with enough force to have you let out a manic scream.

Strong arms held you from thrashing about as you flailed recklessly, wanting to get away from what held you as your eyes flew open and you gasped. Wild eyes darted unfocused as you pushed and bucked and eventually did break free of his embrace and scooted backwards across the floor to the opposite wall of the hallway. You were gasping, the raw burn as air filled your lungs and your vision came to focus on the man in question, sitting on his knees on the floor of your apartment. His hands were extended to you like he was approaching a wild animal with caution, a look of worry actually etched within his features. His mouth moved, your name upon his lips, but it still felt far away in your head.

“No! Get away from me!” You shouted at him, sweeping your arm in between the two of you as if to usher him away. You wished you could stop the tears from falling from your eyes, burning your cheeks. You hated that they escaped. You hated that you seemed weak in front of him like this.

“<Y/n>,” Silco softly said, his voice now coming thru the haze in your mind clearly. “I’m not here to hurt you, <Y/n>. Please calm down, sweetheart.”

Movement out of the corner of your eye had you darting to look to the front door where you saw Sevika pushing your kitchen table back into place and leaning the door, now almost completely off its hinges, back into place as best she could. When she turned back and locked eyes with you, you were almost surprised at the concern and genuine compassion you found in her normally chilled demeanor. Unfortunately, your present mindset interpreted this to mean something very different from its intent.

“You even came to help him finish me off,” a foreign, hoarse voice escaped your lips that you didn’t recognize as you watched Sevika’s eyes widen and she shook her head.

“No, no its not what you think—“

“I don’t have to think,” you shrink back even further against the wall, balling up your knees to your chest as your entire body shook in fear. “I was once told I’d know ‘swiftly and with absolute certainty’ if I had displeased him.” Your eyes locked on Silco’s. “I knew the moment I turned that glass over I’d signed my life away.”

Silco’s expression stayed stoic and unwavering as he felt Sevika’s eyes on him, pleading for him to say something, anything to you to assure you that’s not why either of them had come to your apartment.

“Sevika, if you would be kind enough to give us a moment alone,” he said without breaking eye contact with you. When Sevika began to protest, he merely held up a hand, eyes still locked with your own, “If you hear anything out of sorts and find I’ve stepped out of line, you have my permission to come back in here and kill me. Understood?”

You shook your head, surely you heard him wrong.

“Understood,” Sevika nodded curtly, eyeing you once before making her way back out of your door as she propped it back into place once again and stood on the other side.

It grew quiet in the room, your shaky breaths the only sound between the two of you. He once again attempted to reach out to touch you and you gave a slight gasp and shrank away, his hand falling defeatedly at his side. His brow then knitted in confusion as he looked you over from head to toe. Confusion morphed into concern within his eyes as you watched him like an animal being hunted.

“How did you get on the floor?” He asked and oh his voice was so very gentle in this moment.

“I…” you began and then looked around in confusion. How did I end up here? You’d remembered running home from the club, kicking the door in, blocking it up and then grabbing the knife. You recalled sitting down for a while as you waited your impending doom, worrying any second the door would be busted down by someone sent to seal your fate…and it never came. And then…

…oh. Oh, yes, you remembered now.

“I…must have…I must have passed out,” you said in a voice smaller than you’d intended.

“Passed out?”

Your heart was in your throat, “Hyperventilated, I suppose.”

Silco was painfully reminded of the evening the lights went out at the club. The terror you both had felt and how you’d had difficultly recovering. He was there then to help you through it. You watched as he closed his eye and hung his head.

He wasn’t there to help you this time, he came to a realization that had his heart clenching in his chest.

Not only was he not there, he was the cause of it.

“You need not fear me, <Y/n>,” he began as he looked up into your eyes. “Contrary to what you may think and what my actions earlier may have given you ideas on, I…I would never hurt you.”

Indignant anger rose within your throat, spilling out in words upon your lips, “But you did, Silco. You don’t have to physically harm me to hurt me. What you said to me…what you accused me of… And then you thought—what?—that you could just have a drink with me and it’d be all better? No questions asked? No truths actually spoken about what the fuck this was all about to begin with?”

Your anger boiled within your veins, energizing you as he listened, still attempting to keep his stony expression held, but you knew him well enough to see the flicker of panic at the edges of his mouth and eyes.

“Do you have any idea what I lost tonight?” You finished as you held your arms around yourself, still shaking with anger and possibly shock setting in again as you could feel your throat once again closing in on itself.

“Sweetheart, its not been tonight for a long while. Its late afternoon,” he corrected before he could stop himself as you looked at him confused again, time lost when you’d passed out. Concern for you flitted briefly in his gaze before he once again schooled his expression. How long had you been passed out on the floor, alone? Awkward silence descended between you both when he never responded to your question and merely waited for you to continue.

“When I walked out of that club not only had I lost my job, but I lost everyone I cared about: several good friends, a girl I admittedly care for, not only like a best friend but also like a daughter if I really was to put a label to it, and I lost—“ you stopped, tears you swallow catching your voice in your throat, “I lost the most important person in my life—I’d lost you. I lost the only sense of a real family I’ve ever had in my entire life when I walked out of there.”

“You should have stayed.”

“YOU FIRED ME!” Your voice rang angrily within the apartment, echoing off the walls a bit.

“<Y/n>—“

“YOU THREW THE GLASSES AND BOTTLE AT MY HEAD!”

“It was never meant to hurt you—“ his own voice raising over yours.

You moved to stand on shaky legs as he almost maneuvered to help you up before he stopped himself, “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANY OF THAT?! I ran out of there thinking you were going to come after me or send someone to kill me! You’d treated me like I was NOTHING, Silco! NOTHING! You took my words and I watched as you twisted them up in that head of yours and actually believed everything that ever happened between us. Every word we ever said to one another, everything we ever shared, every touch, every kiss, every—-”

Before you could finish, he suddenly moved and wrapped you in his arms in a forceful embrace. You struggled against him a few moments but he held his iron grip on you as he attempted to try to get you to calm. You struggling subsided after several moments and you moved to place your forehead to rest against his shoulder. When he felt you were not going to fight him anymore, only then did he move his arms in a comforting motion across your back several times before sliding up to your shoulders and pulled you back so he could look into your eyes. Stubbornly, you kept your gaze down to his shoulder.

“<y/n>?” He began in a soft voice. “Please look at me, <Y/n>.”

With a sigh, you looked up and locked his gaze before he spoke again.

His hands moved up to frame either side of your face, swiping the drying tears from beneath you eyes before he spoke with words you knew to be foreign on his tongue, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t expecting to react how I did when Marcus…” his voice trailed off with the mention of the sheriff’s name. “And then when I saw you with that customer later, I—I just —I know you’re a good bartender. I know making the patrons feel good about themselves is part of the job outside of knowing how to make a good drink. I know all of this and my mind chose to ignore the reality of the situation.”

“The situation?” You asked as you backed slightly away from him. “So I’m your situation now?”

“No, that’s not at all what I’d meant.”

“Than what are you getting at here, Silco? I feel like I’m right back at the beginning of the conversation at your office.”

He paused as you watched him mentally search for the words to express himself. Silco was never a man at a loss for words and a small part of you – the part that was still very much angry with him and hurting—delighted a bit in watching him squirm.

“I…” he trailed off, apparently unable to know even where to begin with his apology that you felt he was attempting at least.

You decided to help him along, “Answer a question for me.”

“Anything.”

“You asked me once why I kept coming back,” you began as you watched him prepare himself for what he knew would be a difficult question. “I’d like to know why you wanted me to come back. What is this,” you gestured between the both of you,”to you? What am I to you, Silco?”

The same look of vulnerability and confusion that you’d recalled he’d had in his office when he’d received your answer to this same line of questioning crossed his features. Silco didn’t understand how, after all this time, you didn’t realize your worth to him, where he’d thought all along you’d known that he’d been attempting to show you in the ways he knew how. Perhaps you were both even more alike than he’d thought. Perhaps his guarded nature had gotten the best of him and he hadn’t shown you enough, told you enough. He decided once and for all to ensure that he never had to set the record straight again.

“You are the most important person in my life,” the answer came simply and repetitive of her words to him one drunken evening where truths were whispered In the haze of the cigar smoke in his office.

Your breath hitched in your throat as his words washed over you like a warm balm. Your brows furrowed then, “If that were true than why would you ever think to accuse me of what you had? Why did you react like that?”

Silco was quiet for a long moment, his face once again unreadable as several emotions crossed across it all combating for dominance before he finally spoke, “You give off a radiance that I’ve never known from anyone. Your beauty goes far beyond your features and deep into your very soul, <Y/n>. You could have anyone. Anyone.”

You watched him as you held you breath and he paused once again for a long moment before he continued, your heart thundering in your chest like it would burst any moment at his words, “I suppose I still don’t understand or cannot believe that you’d want me. I warned you once I was a monster. You’ve seen that now. Seen every side of me there is. I don’t deserve you, <Y/n>.”

Your heart broke a little with his words. All this time the both of you had held your truths close to your heart, never voicing what you meant to one another and now this happened and here you both were after days filled with fear and misunderstanding. Much like Silco, you also did not want him for one moment to not know what you meant to him so you walked over to him and place your hands on his chest. His larger hands came to wrap around your own.

“I may not have been entirely honest with you once,” you began as you felt him stiffen beneath you and you squeezed his hands to attempt to reassure him and your lips formed a wry grin. “I didn’t lie to you, but I didn’t speak the whole truth because I was too afraid to even voice it to myself.”

You paused and swallowed hard, trying to sum up the courage to say what you know he needed to hear, what you needed to voice what you’ve known was in your heart for some time now. You felt his hands squeeze your own in reassurance this time, feeling your difficulty with whatever it was you were about to tell him. You brought your gaze back up to his own, back into his jade and orange depths that you could drown within, willingly.

“I kept coming back because I love you.”

[ink-and-dagger]

SJSHVDWHJCKD BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE TABLE AGGRESSIVELY I LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭💜💜💜💜🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

You’ve captured her so perfectly and I adore adore adore your style so much. You’ve done my girl such justice here, she’s so beautiful. She looks so classy and French.

Thank you so so much I can’t tell you how much I love this 💜💜💜💜💜💜

🥀 Astrid sketch🥀

A gift for @ink-and-dagger of silco trying to teach Astrid how to blow smoke rings😳🤌

I just wanted to say thank you so much for creating such and amazing story, I can truly see how much love and thought went into making it! Your writing is truly an absolute treat to read and to say thank you I drew this little sketch! I hope you like it, I had so much fun making it🫀💌🤭🥀

[officially-grim]

“You could try asking nicely?”

Finally...my first art post!  (I might eventually stop being lazy and color this, but have the sketch for now.)  This is of course the ICONIC scene from Chapter 15 of the amazing Drink With Me fic by @ink-and-dagger . (Ma’am, tagged as promised!)  

I LOVE Astrid and her attitude SO MUCH.  Look at her.  Queen Shit.