#i dont even disagree i just keep thinking about it

[bitegore]

i find it interesting how the discussion around "you can't even make an angry phone call" goes because i still have it in my head that that line got trotted out for the people threatening and claiming to enact OTT violence on their ideological enemies. you know, like, the "if we ever meet irl I'm going to shove your head into a blender"-commenter types. still doesnt make it good to be picking on people w anxiety exactly but like - something something identifying a blatant difference between someone's claims and their actions vs just openly mocking someone's anxiety, you know?

[skitskatdacat63]

.

[valvesoftware]

breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh

[themmatennant]

death wish

imma start commenting mean things abt taylor swift under posts about her to see what happens

[sendmyresignation]

anyway finally finished girls to the front. obviously had a lot of opinions about it. i have a lot more respect for the day-to-day lived realities of riot grrls and the underground community fostered. but like. man. is the music so secondary. my main critique of riot grrl is it took many of those bands growing out of the movement amd growing up to hit something truly, artistically great (music-wise).

[stvllioner]

okay!! since mofos still wanna kekeke and harass me, this will be my final post before i block everyone and get on with it!

it's very clear of who is sending me hate and you're actually weird as fuck. if what you do and enjoy is never that serious, why are you still posting, commenting AND subbing me? there were literally periods of time where i literally did not say anything, and even said for people to stop responding to me because i did not care what had to be said. but i was repeatedly brought back multiple times (which apparently means i am seeking out arguments bc i don't back away from internet people who try to intellectually one up me). mind you, again, subbing with no direct @ because y'all are pussy ass bitches--against someone you do not even know. to play pretend that you're so grown and edu'macated for literally bullying someone for not agreeing with you is insane work, really. then it's pretending you aren't encouraging me being harassed just because i don't think you need rape, incest, pedophilia etc in order for a work to be considered gothic or horror. 🥴

you would think that i was in that comments without any reason, just on my own volition and was just arguing with every and anyone and checking over 4 MONTHS (this is sarcasm for any ditzy bitch reading this) in a comment section that i kept forgetting it existed until another jobless twat wanted to go another round with me. the way that you keep saying the characters i write for are 14 when they're not?? 😭 considering i was their age when i joined this fandom and will not be writing them pass my twenties.

dark content, proship, etc. people like them claim how they are unbothered and living their full life of dark ecstasy, but cry about how they are harassed, get sent hate etc. but verbatim do the same thing to someone who hasn't gone out their way to interact with any personal works, favorites and so on. only because they do not agree on a subject matter... the so called "mature" side. just because im outnumbered doesn't make me wrong, bookie! at the end of the day, you all are still white, privileged pieces of shits who have nothing better to do than have one sided and weird ass beef with someone (me) who doesn't know or care about you.

i'll state my proper argument once and for all, which will be ignored because y'all are just bullies who picked someone random to pick on: on the contrary i do NOT have an issue with all dark content. as many antis like me only have an issue when it's glorified, sexualized and just produced or consumed in a way that diminishes it's importance. every story has a message whether or not you want to admit that or not, and it's time to stop pretending like people don't learn things from the things they consume. when works are heavily misconstrued is a very uncomfortable and jarring experience. many antis who are like me do not like the way it's handled (ie; lolita is NOT a romance story but had perverted into that idea). you are incredibly naive to believe that any and all ways to write dark content is inherently good and okay. it does not work like that for any other media, why is it excused for dark content? someone not wanting to see it portrayed like that should not be mocked for having boundaries. you lot want to be edgelords so bad. no i do not care about your past experiences, and YES it is normal for you to fall into such coping strategies but just because that's what happens under those circumstances does not make it "normal" for everyone else. you're just a byproduct of your abuse.

also thank you for continuously doing the work of posting about me and then directly sending me hate? also keeping the same cadence and speech as the way you type? cuz if you wanna keep throwing rocks and handing your hands you are a lewser. have fun making spare accounts to send me hate cuz all y'all will do is just resort to talking shit about me on your blogs AGAIN. 😭🤷🏽‍♀️

gothic literature post

-> @/bluebeardsfinalgirl post one, two & three.

-> @/wiltshired post / @/prince-luffy.

keep it cute, either say my name/directly @ me, or keep it off the playground.

[snekdood]

i honestly deserved none of the shit ppl did to me that lead me to this point

[botanical-garden-system]

Did yall know that there are several researchers actively trying to prove DID is not a real thing? Did yall know that there are several articles in the multitude of databases I have accessed through my school that ACTIVELY try to find and prove how DID isn’t fucking real???

When people tell me, “research disagrees with ___,” I hope yall realize that many researchers dont even think we exist. They dont think you can experience multiple identities. And yes, these research articles are within the past 5 years.

There are clinical psychologists with entire practices of therapeutic professionals that treat people with a focus in trauma and dissociative disorders as “untrained” and “stupid.” Not even researchers agrees on our existence, and this is NOT something you typically see within the peer reviewed articles of any popularly discussed disorder.

Many are legitimately PEER REVIEWED ARTICLES. Just keep this in fucking mind when you start saying shit like, “But research disproves your identity.” Many researchers actively try to disprove we exist in GENERAL.

Also I have yet to find a research document stating anything yall have claimed against plurality and I have easily 50-60 hours worth of digging and researching multiple databases (APA psycINFO, APA psycTESTS, Proquest psychology collection, Sage Journals, Google Scholar through a college institution, NIH, etc.). In fact, I actually have/had a few articles discussing how we need to start re-addressing DID and approaching it as psychologists.

I can probably list off several medical journals that talk about DID, provide you with at least 30-50 different peer reviewed scholarly journals, case studies, and collections, and I can confidently say that we are STILL trying to connect dissociation and trauma research.

At most, we can say that there is a HIGH CONNECTION BETWEEN cPTSD (yes, specifically cPTSD) and DID, but people are still figuring out whether you can see examples of DID in the brain through neuroimaging (which we have figured this out some, it’s super cool) and what other disorders DID is comorbid with.

We can’t be claiming SHIT about what is or isn’t right now. I am not at all a discourse account, and I most likely will not interact with syscourse outside of this, but I AM a researcher who has spent countless hours trying to better understand DID so that I can help myself and others around me. If yall were genuinely digging, yall would realize how fucking abysmal the understanding of psychology really is, let alone disorders that are stigmatized.

I WILL engage in discussing research that I have found with peer revision because I believe this education should be free and readily available to everyone. I am NOT engaging in debates on whether you believe plurality exists outside of DID. That has not been researched or discussed enough to make any sort of claim. The real point behind research is so we can better understand our world, our brains, and our society. The best we can do right now is LISTEN to the experiences people have and MAKE research to better understand their experiences.

[freakinator]

just gonna put what i said in the comments lol

again, if you find her dream meaningful then irdc, ppl find different meaning in different things and it seems like for you this one particularly does while for me it doesnt

if youre trying to get other ppl to find it meaningful as well then go gush about it and make analysis and various posts about it in your own blog. but i will not be one of them due to, as stated, my personal experience

(also ik theres no way you could have known this but its generally not a good idea to tell me, a schizospec person who is neurologically inclined towards magical thinking and conspiracy theorizing, to just trust in dreams like that just cause it was proven right later on -- especially cause it was proven right later on)

and the reason i kept saying scam flame is simple: i forgor, this shit was ages ago and the scam got interrupted by focus revealing themselves before it got the chance to make any particularly huge impact to the server so any long-lasting impact it could have had essentially fizzled away and along with it my memory on the specific details

knowing how the server works isnt a matter of smartness its a matter of experience, you can make all the assumptions you want about lifesteal as a server but you can never really tell how it would go for you until youre actually on it 😭

[deadchannelradio]

None of the bats look alike EXCEPT for bruce and jason. dick and bruce look almost nothing alike and also behave extremely differently. You can catch similarities in small movements and gestures like rubbing their nose in the same way or starting the run up to a jump on the same foot. But they’re not built the same and they don’t have similar style or coloring or even undertones…. Dick is golden and bruce is cool toned… tim and bruce also don’t look alike other than eyes/hair color. Theyre both pale but different kinds of pale. Bruce Could have a bit more color if he ever went outside when the sun was out but he doesn’t and tim does not get darker he just gets pinker. He burns and then hes just pink forever, he does similar motions as bruce but he actually picked them up from dick (on purpose) who either picked them up from bruce or gave them to bruce. Cass obviously does not look like bruce at all but they do behave similarly. Damian is a talia copy/paste he looks JUST LIKE HIS MAMA but he did take bruce’s eyebrows and his face is a little shorter/wider. Less of a pointy chin but not Not pointy. Jason And Bruce Are Nearly Identical. They act the same they move the same they Sound the same they have the same speech patterns and voices they’re built the same they keep ending up with the same haircuts. They have similar but not identical “doesn’t go outside” pallor. The biggest differences are skin color and eye color. Jason is just a little bigger. You would think they were blood related. Nobody has been brave enough to explain this to jason, who thinks he looks nothing like bruce. They didnt even spend like, that long living in each others pockets is the thing. They’re just very similar people who happened to meet and glom on to each other. Dont climb into the comments about disagreeing with me this is my post and i dont care

[uriekukistan]

JJK 261 ANALYSIS: What happened, how, why Yuuta made the choice he did, and a discussion of tragedy & major themes of JJK

MAJOR spoilers below the cut so please read at your risk.

i wanted to dissect what happened a bit, and address a few points i saw floating around since the leaks dropped. of course, these are all my interpretations, so feel free to disagree, i just had a lot of thoughts floating around that i wanted to put out for discussion.

I. Gojo was never coming back

first of all, i don't know how you guys expected him to survive bisection. i said this earlier in the day as my justification for why i didn't think gojo was coming back, prior to leaks, and i don't think i can say it any better now.

and this is just my interpretation of reverse curse technique, but if anything, yuuta in this chapter supports my theory. in the scene where he's on shoko's table and arata nitta says that he's used rct to keep the wounds from getting worse, but it might be too late for yuuta to recover. in that case, gojo wasn't coming back from being sliced in half. it's just not possible.

additionally, and this is another thing that i've said for a long time. he says right in episode 6 (i forgot the chapter) that his dream is to reset the jujutsu world raise up a generation of strong students that work together. that is why he became a teacher. this very clearly comes from his relationship with suguru, and it's one of gojo's clearest motivations from the beginning.

the problem is, in order to achieve this, he has to die. so long as satoru gojo is alive, he will have to carry the burden of being the strongest alone. his students won't have to work together, because gojo will just take care of everything. this is already in the works, with how many people have come together to stand against sukuna. if gojo lived and defeated sukuna on his own, this wouldn't have happened, and bringing him back would, again, reduce the need for his students work together.

unfortunately, gojo has been doomed by the narrative from the start, and his primary goal as a character basically requires his death to be realized in its entirety.

II. They're not heroes, they're jujutsu sorcerers.

yeah, i'm stealing megumi's line because it's true. he literally said it twice for a reason, and then yuuta said a repackaged version of it in this chapter ("we're about to fight history's strongest jujutsu sorcerer. if we can win by throwing away our humanity, we shouldn't even be arguing about this").

trust, all the characters are well aware of the ethical issues with taking gojo's body after he's dead, both with what it means for gojo, and with what it means for yuuta. but this isn't a story about heroism, this isn't a story about the power of friendship. if it was, yuuji would have saved junpei all the way back at the beginning of the series. it was pretty clear from the start that this wasn't going to be the typical shounen manga like that.

in fact, expecting it to be is unrealistic. it's unrealistic in real life too, if i'm being so honest. everyone wants to think they'd take the moral high road in this type of situation, but the reality is, when you're fighting tooth and nail against an opponent that is fighting dirty, you have to fight dirty too if you want to win, and i think that's what yuuta is trying to point out in this chapter.

this happens in real life wars which im not gonna get into examples because i dont want to start that kind of discourse, but like...it's so great to be idealistic and hope that virtue will triumph simply because it is virtuous, but i think if you take a look around, you'll realize it's true that good people do not get what they deserve simply because they're good (that's so megumi of me to say...). or if you think of it like a board game, if a player is cheating, it is infinitely harder to win without cheating yourself.

maybe this is a bit pessimistic of me to say, but you will not win a dirty fight without getting dirty yourself, and i think it's pretty clear that sukuna fights dirty.

additionally, it's shitty to see gojo be weaponized, and i understand that, but it plays into the themes about strength in jjk, which i will get into.

III. This was not an "ass pull."

i don't really have much to say to this. did you think yuuta wouldn't take kenjaku's technique? plus, kenjaku being eaten by rika is probably the only surefire way to ensure that they're dead and won't just hop to another body. i've already said why gojo wouldn't come back, but it makes sense that if yuuta were to copy kenjaku's technique, who else would he body hop into, if not gojo? there's already narrative evidence to support this action, from the guidelines of yuuta's technique, kenjaku's technique, and gojo's technique, to the character of yuuta okkotsu, which i want to do an analysis in a separate post for him, so i won't get into that right now.

idk...to me, all the threads connect, plus i felt like yuuta's return was foreshadowed pretty heavily in 259 & 260, with the mention of yuuta's plan that yuuji couldn't know, and then on the last page of 260, the comparison of sukuna and yuuta, so for me, i always thought that it was not actually gojo, but yuuta at the end of 260.

IV. Themes of JJK: The burden of being "the strongest," or even just strong

even many jjk fans see gojo as "the strongest," and nothing more, doing exactly what the narrative sets up as one of the chief problems of jjk. a lot of gojo's actions are spurred on by the burden he feels from being the strongest modern sorcerer. his entire character is built around this problem of the responsibility and burden that falls on someone who's considered to be "the best" at anything.

in fact, this is also a driving point for geto too, and the conflicts geto and gojo come into with each other, as well as geto's inevitable fall from grace. it all comes from this issue that's at the core of jujutsu society. gojo recognizes that, and, as i mentioned, that is why he became a teacher. so that no young sorcerers will feel the burden of being the strongest alone.

the problem is this is easier said than done. after gojo dies, this burden gets passed down to yuuta, and he feels that immense pressure, which is why he decides to do what he does. he says "haven’t we been pushing the burden of being a monster onto gojo-sensei alone? if gojo-sensei is gone, then who else will be the monster? If no one intends to become one, then I will!" and i think this really powerful evidence of the pressure and burden of being the strongest, and i think the word monster is really important here. the burden pushes people to be something they're not, a shadow of their true self.

it distorts morality, like with geto. it isolates people, like with gojo. it forces people to go to unspeakable lengths to uphold their burden, like with yuuta. it leads people with immense power to doubt themselves, like with megumi. it leads people to feel like a cog in the machine, not a human, like with yuuji.

this is sooo so important and a key theme of jjk, and this chapter in particular, and the driving force behind yuuta's actions.

V. Themes in JJK: Loneliness and Isolation

this one has, in my opinion, a bigger role in the story overall than just in this chapter.

as i mentioned before, gojo is lonely. the only person who could understand him was geto, and he turned away from him, and then died. he seems like a silly guy or whatever, but it's just a mask.

but geto also felt alone and isolated, and that's why he turned away. between gojo and geto, neither of them were able to put share the burden of carrying their strength alone, and it's what kept them apart and made their relationship so tragic.

arguably, and though he would never admit it, sukuna is also lonely, though it's buried deep within him and something he will likely never acknowledge, despite it, and his lack of understanding of love (arguably a symptom of his loneliness), are major reasons for the way he acts.

yuuta, though supported by maki, inumaki, and panda in a way that the previously mentioned characters are not, is still isolated. he alone carries the burden of his strength. he was also alone his whole life after rika died, and then again when he was shipped off to africa, away from his friends (yeah he had miguel, maybe i'm missing something, but i dont see them having that type of relationship.

not only that, but yuuta recognizes gojo's loneliness, and reaches out to tell him not to try to stand by himself once again, and gojo admits that's something he can't do, the reason being his relationship with geto.

even further, yuuji and megumi, the parallel to satosugu, are both deeply lonely, except for when they have each other. i mentioned in this analysis that the reason megumi can't just get up and keep going is because he's alone and has been for over a month. i want to get into this more in my next point.

VI. Where I think (hope) this leads for JJK

a satisfying ending for jjk, in my opinion, would be the resolution to this loneliness and burden of strength issue that has been present throughout the narrative. something like yuuji being able to save megumi and them being able to correct what went wrong with satosugu in their own relationship.

personally would like to see satosugu reach the ending they should have had through the itafushi parallels - let them save each other! but i do know gege said only one of them (the trio + gojo) will die, or only one will live....that was years ago maybe he changed his mind :D

we all want to see yuuji take down sukuna himself, but i think it would be a great resolution to see everyone take down sukuna as a team. no one person is alone, no one person has the burden of the strongest. i know i said this wasn't a "power of friendship" manga, and i stand by that, but i think this would be the perfect ending. yuuta throws his humanity away to do what he did in 261 because he felt like it was the only choice and it was something he alone could do, but yuuji represents unwavering humanity (literally his name), and i think to preserve that, they all need to share that burden. let them realize they need each other.

this is what gojo died for, and this is what he lived for. this is why he became a teacher in the first place- to raise a generation that can be strong together, that can support one another.

VII. "It's poorly written torture porn!" "There's no point if there's no happy ending!" etc

i said this in a separate post but tragedies have existed in literature since the 6th century BCE, 2600 years ago. many of the most popular stories throughout history have been tragedies, for example, orpheus & eurydice, romeo & juliet, even things like the fault in our stars and the titanic movie. here's a quick explanation of what it means for a story to be a tragedy (yeah it's from wikipedia but they want me to pay to access the original source and im not doing that for a jjk analysis)

one of things i like most about this definition is the use of the word "catharsis," which is to say that the expression of strong emotions is a way of bringing about renewal and relief. in literature, it's used to say that with the arousal and following release of negative emotions relieves suppressed emotions for the viewer. im not gonna get too personal with it, but i know i've experienced this with jjk.

additionally all of the aforementioned tragedies, they have a message, no matter how sad they are. orpheus & eurydice inspires perseverance and faith in the gods. even something like titanic has messages about everlasting love that overcomes all boundaries. jjk has its message too, and it's long underway. we just have to wait for it to reach its conclusion.

it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we only get one chapter a week, and the fact that the pain is so dragged out is a bit tiring, i'll admit. but that doesn't mean it's bad. having negative emotions stirred by a story doesn't mean bad writing. i mean, i would hope you feel sad. i would hope you feel angry. i would be concerned if you didn't. but given that jjk is a tragedy, that just indicates good writing. especially these last two chapters, i've felt moved in a way nothing else has done for me in a long time.

as always, these are just my thoughts!!! im happy to hear from anyone what they think :D

[mythalism]

I was wondering (because I love your Solas and solavellan analyses) what do you think of s*lrook? It doesn’t work for me, not because I like solavellan, but because I just don’t like Rook and some other reasons that I’m having trouble articulating. Something along the lines of “Solas mirrors” and, as Rook, we can only ever really approach him as though he is a villain with little nuance and can never ask (the man that started out as spirit of wisdom) any questions. I think maybe it would have been more interesting to me if BioWare gave Rook more meaningful regrets and let us have more rpg elements. Anyway, feel free to disagree with me or not answer this if you think it may gain negative attention. I just like the way your brain works and was curious about your thoughts because you might have an interesting perspective!

i honestly dont think of s*lrook like ever. truly it does not occupy any space in my mind. i think its probably similar to what you are feeling, which is that rook is so nothing its like putting solas with a cardboard cut out. and maybe that is why the issue of solas mirroring rook comes in; there is nothing for him to reflect. rook is also so meaningless to solas that he has no incentive to meaningfully engage with them. with the inquisitor, solas was literally tied to them by the anchor and had no choice but to spend time with them to get his orb back. but that is a process that develops over an entire year. he gets sucked into the inquisition and cannot help himself but become part of it. even solas who hates the inquisitor is deeply involved in everything they do, every decision they make he becomes complacent in as part of their inner circle. even with an inquisitor he hates, he cannot help but develop attachments to the other members of the inquisition. he is actively carrying out the inquisition's purpose. if they do something he doesnt like, such as recruit the templars or keep the wardens or kill the sentinels, it makes sense for him to speak up, to challenge the inquisitior, to make his distaste known because he is directly involved. he is also directly responsible for corypheus gaining such power. all of this personal entanglement in the events of inquisition give him and even a low-approval inquisitor a dynamic that is interesting and complex. their erasure into a figurehead for the purpose of a cause is familiar to him at the very least. the way he reflects the inquisitor is entrenched in the plot and who they both are as characters. he reflects the inquisitor because the inquisitor is walking the same path he was forced to.

in veilguard, i think that him being trapped for so long was a mistake writing-wise. despite solas being literally integral to EVERYTHING HAPPENING, he feels completely separate. he only has a few things to say about each major plot point, we can barely ask him more than a few questions about anything throughout the entire game, we dont get to confront him on his memories, we dont get to see him react with anyone. he literally exists in a vacuum. there is nothing for him to reflect, nothing for him to engage with. he is literally in an empty room, talking to an empty character. what is there to work with in that? where is there a relationship to be had? they kept telling us that rook reminded solas of himself which is honestly hilarious in retrospect because what??? where??? how??????? because they did something rebellious one time??? but solas and rook never actually talk about that. they never actually talk about anything about rook's life. solas doesn't even pass judgement on their decisions. their conversations all have the same set end point. his goal from the beginning is always to shape them into taking his place in the prison (however the fuck that works) and all of their interactions are defined by that, and happen in the shadow of rook ruining his ritual and releasing the evanuris. compared to solas and the inquisitor, who at their core, is a manifestation of his mistakes as a victim of his underestimation of corypheus and the bearer of his anchor which will eventually destroy their body. there is an immediate thread of guilt and connection through those circumstances. for solas and rook, the opposite should actually be true; rook should feel guilt for getting solas trapped through their carelessness, but they clearly dont lol. its just so nothing. rook is so nothing. solas reflecting rook thus is also nothing. there is a reason the game picks up so much when we see him outside of the prison, talking to the companions, having a moment with emmrich, being eviscerated by harding, killing ogres in one hit, tearing into an archdemon... its pretty mutually agreed upon as the best part of the game? why would you make a character that, as a spirit, reflects his environment, and then put him in an empty room in the game named after him? and then why would you set him up with an empty protagonist who was clearly designed only to further the plot and not have a real story or arc of their own? flop.

[strawberrypumpkins]

hear me out ,

Ko-fi <- ill write anything

Ex husband!Simon x reader

Cw: Reader has a kind of nasty attitude, slight nsfw, established reationship , just throughts, not a final thought

You and Simon broke up on not-so-nice terms. It was a mistake made on both parts after a week back from deployment. He's out for almost 8 months in a year, leaving 4 for you. He spent most of his time back clinging to you and giving you all the love he missed whilst he was away….

When he came back this time, you wanted to talk about your future together and how it was going to work. You guys had been together for over five years, and he had a ring on your finger. Missus Riley in every aspect.

You just miss a thing: a Jr. Riley.

You want a jr, Riley. He doesn't. Neither can compromise for selfish reasons. He doesnt want to be a dead beat who only sees his child at best for only half a year whilst the child is growing up. You insist you can take care of a child on your own with minimal help, you just need someone to keep your busy, youre a stay at home wife you barely have anything doing.

Simon doesnt want his wifey doing any hard work, stay at home like the queen you are, his bank account is yours. Join as many pottery classes as you want, start a cafe, you can do anything.

Just not a child.

What was a civil discussion turned into a heated argument and soon both were throwing curses at each other, --you were throwing curses at him,-- hed rather bite off his tongue than shout back at you, but he absolutely disagrees. No kid, not yet, hes not ready to go that far, he wants to be selfish too.

What turns into not talking for a few hours turns into a day, then a week. You expect Simon to break it as always, he'd say he's sorry and you'd fold telling him how you were wrong, he's right, you can settle for another cat, maybe a dog, or start a business as he said. You were unreasonable, he's barely home how when would he have any time to be with you?

You knew this before saying I do.

But Simon doesnt talk either, doesn't even glance in your direction, he assumes you want space, ofcourse he wants to grab you and smother you in all his love, but he waits…… and keeps waiting… and more waiting for when you give him the signal.

You don't.

Yours mad. Why isn't he coming to you first? You sleep in the same bed at night, have breakfast together, and even stay in the bathroom at the same time, why won't he look at you? Is he tired? Does he think this was a deal breaker?

A week later another fight happens when you go out for a girls' night, when you get home you lay it all out to him. He's a prick, you hate him and he doesn't deserve you, no he doesn't.

Divorce comes after

He leaves the apartment to you, you receive spousal support until you decide to get a job, if you want to get a job, simon says.he never took his card back from you, hes the one who insisted you stay home so you shouldnt have to find a job now, just rest at home regardless of whether hes your husband or not. theres a 1 year period before it will be finalized, hes holding out incase you change your mind.

2 months of deployment and it begins to settle in just how bad it actually feels to be truly alone. You dont have and phone calls, no messages from simon ofcourse you have your cats but thats it, you dont work. You cant go out with the girls everynight simply because youre bored. They have lives too.

Drinking in your apartment on a Thursday night till you blank out is the only thing you have to keep you busy. In a drunken haze, you message Simon's number, a long rant begging him to come back, you were oh so wrong and you made a terrible mistake. The message doesn't send, but you feel better, it feels better to get it off your chest regardless of whether or not he saw it, at least you said it.

Messaging simons number became a frequent activity, you used it as a photo album, a note pack of sorts, you send pictures of flowers you take, of yourself, grocery lists, and the cats, you vent and rant in voice notes, tell the blocked number how you're feeling, how much it's raining, treating it as if it's an actual conversation with Simon. And it feels real, at least in your mind, you don't need to feel embarrassed about venting your wrongdoings to anyone, it's between you and you alone, and seeing the messages sent makes it feel real. You could do the same for another random block called, but you like seeing Simon's name up there.

Maybe there's the hope he sees it.

On the other side of the world, Simon is a month deep into a stressful mission, he's been dropped with the team at some random location, they camp out in the forest and have to sneak around like pests, he can't message you– you're divorced now - or at least in the making -, you hate him as you'd said that night and besides signal won't allow it. Then he sees your messages popping up all at once starting from almost a month ago, grocery lists, you miss him, what you've done that day.

And as he stands deeper into the forest away from the team, fisting his throbbing cock, looking at your reflection in the pot of the noodles you were eating, imagining how your lips wrap around the chopsticks as you slurp and lick your lips and edging himself by pressing his thumb to the little slit as he listens over and over to your voice notes reminding yourself to buy groceries then switching to how much you miss him so much. He doesn't stop until he's shooting blanks, never has he been so happy to hear you talk about buying vegetables.

.

You wake up one morning to someone ringing the doorbell nonstop as if they're trying to break it. Such an obnoxious sound, clearly they dont care much about anyone if they cant wait a single moment. You stretch quickly walking to the main door to rip them one when your eyes fall on simon.

He is wearing a black top, camo cargo pants, and black boots, his duffel bag in one hand and the other hand a stack of papers just back from deployment.

“can I c’m in?”

[natsmagi]

ok no i need to bitch because i have remained positive and hopeful throughout most of !!-era because i believed that happyele loved their characters and wouldnt deliberately go out of their way to butcher them but time and time again i have been proven wrong on this fact. and seeing the way theyre doubling down on having ibuki, a ryukyuan kid from okinawa, join a traditional "wa" japanese unit that embraces mainland japan traditions when the mainland has continuously tried to make okinawa theirs and disregard the ryukyuan identity WHILE ALSO LITERALLY HAVING EICHI COLONIZE OKINAWA IN ATLANTIS its all just becoming too much. I am no expert when it comes to these topics so do not take my word when it comes to jp culture, conflict and the likes, but knowing how poorly happyele has continuously time and time again treated their indigenous (or middle eastern in adonis's case) cast i cannot see this going well. Not to mention how having ibuki join akatsuki goes against everything the three of them have built up and the whole POINT of their unit and that for them to even fucking put this garbage in the story they had to make keito PAINFULLY ooc to pull it off because NO OTHER REALITY WOULD ALLOW IT!!!!! theyre taking akatsukis developments and throwing it out the window in an attempt to make them something "new" and more profitable while also using a beloved group that so many have spent so much of their time loving and supporting into nothing but a scapegoat for their imperialist propaganda im so unbelievably angry that theyre doubling down on this. im so angry that theyre stupid enough to let shit like this pass

and im sure youve probably read posts explaining the aktk thing better than i ever couldve, esp considering im not an aktkP, but im also writing this to tell the fans of big units to Stop Giving In. do not feel safe just because happyele is scared of losing you, because I used to be an undeadP before getting into switch and the reason i STOPPED producing them was because they viewed the unit as nothing but a money-maker machine and would completely disregard their developments for the sake of feeding into tropes that fans liked and they cared more about yaoibait than they did the characters themselves. They tossed out any growth rei and ritsu had in opperetta for the sake of bringing back sakuma brothers conflict in that painfully annoying la mort story and theyre gonna keep doing this shit until fans tire of it. valkyrie, eden and knights are three super popular units with upcoming events, and i seriously need you to not give happyele any of your time or money because they do not deserve it.

even with switch, a rather unpopular unit, theres been total garbage pulled. in switchs case i think its safe to say that akira does genuinely really care for natsume and tsumugis relationship considering thats basically all that man even includes in his switch stories, but he never really knows what to do with sora. And i feel like he doesnt really care. Like sure i can sit here and be like "well at least MY favs seem to be doing alright" but thats purely because they keep spoon-feeding us crumbs of the units popular ships so we wont complain. i still really like their dynamic and i strongly disagree with alot of fans saying natsume and tsumugi have been OOC lately, but like. Look at sora man. i dont mind him having a little gf in the virtual world, i dont mind him growing more independent, i dont mind him relying less on his synesthesia. but the executions are just. Theyre painful. with the synesthesia thing esp bc synesthesia doesnt just go away. You couldve easily made a simple point of "you cant always rely on your synesthesia to know how people feel" because that is TRUE! but that would de-fetishize this idea these people have of synesthesia being some Magical Ability and not just a neurological condition. And with the sora being more independent; this is also something thats been needed for his story! natsume and tsumugi would often coddle him way too much, and sora himself would complain about being treated as a kid. But like. sora has started to feel so disconnected from switch in a way.....? and this has even been a point of conflict in stories, sora not knowing how to partake in ntmgs conversations because theyre too difficult, or being sad that ntmg never have time to hang out with him. But instead of working on these things, they just. keep having sora hang out with people outside of natsume and tsumugi? who have practically become a package deal at this point?? literally having sora join a NEW UNIT without natsume or tsumugi????????? i dont know. im rambling but i just wanted to get this out there. Theyre my specialest guys in the whole entire world and i just want to make people more cautious of thinking "well the aktk thing wouldnt happen to MY fav unit! they wouldnt butcher MY favs!" because they very much can. even if theres an aspect youre still hooked on, other factors are visibly crumbling because management cares only about what will bring the most revenue, and not what is best for the character

i cant help but feel the reason theyre pulling this shit with akatsuki is because they felt as though they somewhat got away with it with Double Face and raked in some extra cash because kohaku ended up popular, so now theyre doing that again but taking it to the next extreme. its disheartening

anyway. i will continue to draw and enjoy ensemble stars. But i wont be supporting them financially anymore as they clearly do not care about fans at all. if i desperately want some merch ill just buy it second-hand. And while im at it, i need you people to stop telling enstarries to get into some other idol franchise instead as if the main problem here isnt how disgustingly predatory they are. Happy Elements were THE biggest joseimuke franchise, making the most money out of all their competitors, and it still wasnt enough. they still didnt respect their fans. when the fans would continuously respect their wishes. Enstars is like the only fandom ive seen that doesnt share leaks for example, yet this courtesy means nothing to them. Corporations arent your friends, never have been and never will be. those characters arent real, they do not have feelings of their own. They were all written by someone to serve a purpose, and this includes ibuki being an indigenous kid joining the wa japanese culture unit. To use this popularity to spread so much fucking bigotry and hatred is heartbreaking. And to blame the fans for being upset over it????????????? youre disgusting happyele.

[jjsmaybank20]

Hiiiii, I was wondering if you could write a Barca femini x teen reader fic where she is under an immense amount of pressure from the media and more specifically her father and believes she has to do it all, she has to be perfect, she has to make her father proud. So she balances the weight of school, Barca training and matches, and the extra training she does (she legit runs herself into the ground in an attempt to forgot about all the pressure she is under, however this only causes her to feel even more stressed). The team specifically the captains, More so Alexia start to notice. They ask her if she is doing well and she denies anything is wrong saying she is fine with no further Answer. Reader decides she doesn’t have time for sleep and has to get as much school work done, so she has more time to do extra trainings. So she starts getting like 5 hours of sleep per night or less which is definitely not enough for a pro athlete to function. She keeps this up for a few weeks or days idk. When Alexia and the other decide enough is enough and they intervene. Reader tries to deny it and get up and leave but Alexia isn’t having it and just hugs reader tightly and then they all end up comforting her. They all tell her she needs more sleep and it’s okay to take a day off so she can take care of herself.

You def dont have to write this i jus though i would ask🫶

Feel Good

Barcelona Femení x Fem!Teen!Reader Alexia Putellas x Fem!Teen!Reader

Summary: R is under immense pressure to succeed, but it doesn't take long for it to become too much.

Warnings: R passing out, R doesn't have a good relationship with her father

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I changed a few small things, but not too dramatically. Hope you like it!

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---

From a young age, you always strove to be the best you could possibly be. You worked hard, constantly pushing yourself to be better. When watching you study, train, and play in matches, people would describe you as a perfectionist. You didn’t disagree with that description, but you did believe that you needed to be perfect in order to gain the approval of your team, the fans, and especially your father. 

Y/F/N had always been a cold and tough man. Never generous with his praise, and almost overwhelming with his need for perfection, he ruled your life and your career with an iron fist since the day you showed an exceptional talent for football. You made your way through the youth teams with impressive speed, finding yourself on the Barça B team at the age of 15 and finally being promoted to the first team at the young age of 16. 

Being one of the youngest on the team, the senior players took you under their wing. Lucy and Mapi would joke around with you, while Alexia and Irene would take care of you and keep you on the right track to the point that you saw them as your motherly figures. For a long time, it had just been you and your dad, your mother never really in the picture. You grew up thinking that the only way for someone to love you was if you were practically flawless in every aspect of life, so naturally you assumed it would be the same with the team. 

---

For a while, you were able to balance everything. There was a delicate routine that needed to be followed that guaranteed you would complete your schoolwork on time while also performing the best you possibly could in matches and practices. You were strict with yourself, keeping up a rigorous schedule that impressed even the senior players. 

Slowly, though, your rigid daily life starts to slip through your fingers. It begins when your father starts to comment more and more on a slip in your performance that you don’t even notice. You don’t argue back with him, though. Instead, you decide to add extra practice every day to your regimen. Those added hours of practice means you have to push your schoolwork further into the night, telling yourself that it needs to get done, no matter how late it is. 

Your nights get continuously later, and it begins to take a toll on your performance at practice. At first, your teammates think you're having an off day, and then an off week. When your performance doesn’t improve after that first week, the girls start to get worried. Watching you idly kick a ball around from the sidelines, Alexia murmurs, “I’m worried about la pequeña. She’s been so quiet lately.” Mapi hums in agreement. “She won’t joke around with me anymore. Says that she needs to focus.” The Zaragozan looks at you just as you miss the ball you were juggling. You let out a deep sigh before picking it up and starting again. Mapi’s chest fills with concern at the sight. “She looks so tired.”

You continue to practice, not noticing the two senior player’s eyes on you. After completing the exercise you were working on, you pack the balls up and head inside to the gym. Placing your earbuds in, you don’t notice how Patri and Pina watch you with shock in their eyes as you slip past them on their way out of the gym. 

They flag down Alexia and Mapi as they pass the duo, hoping that they would be able to give some insight as to why you were working out after practice was over. Instead of reassuring them, their captain and Mapi share a glance full of concern. They quickly walk towards the gym, hoping to get some sort of explanation out of you as to why you were pushing yourself so hard. 

As you side step with a resistance band around your legs, you begin to feel light headed. Instead of stopping, you decide that you can just push through and that it will pass with time. Just as Alexia and Mapi reach the gym, your body finally gives up out of exhaustion and your eyes roll back into your head as you crumple to the ground. 

Alexia rushes to your side, pulling your head into her lap. “Get the trainers, now!” Mapi rushes out of the room, following the order immediately. As she anxiously waits, Alexia runs her hands through your hair. Up close, she can now see the dark bags under your eyes from a lack of sleep. “Oh, cariño. What is going on with you?” 

---

As you come to, you are met with the semi-harsh fluorescent lights of the recovery room. Everything seems blurry at first, causing you to blink your eyes to clear away the fog. You groan as you try to sit up, realizing with a start that your head is absolutely throbbing. Even through the pain, you still feel more rested than you have in weeks. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, trying to block out the bright light. Someone lightly touches your back, startling you. 

“Hey, hey! Calm down, cariño. It’s just me.” You settle slightly at the soothing tone of Alexia’s voice. When you finally glance around the room, you are met with quite a few pairs of worried eyes belonging to your teammates. 

Finally, you look at Alexia. Her eyes are filled with such deep concern that you can’t help but turn away again. She softly speaks up from beside you, asking, “What is going on with you? You look like you haven’t slept in weeks, you seem constantly stressed out, and you haven’t taken a day off in months. I mean, you literally passed out from exhaustion, por dios!” 

You stare at your lap, knowing that as soon as you look up, you’re going to break down. “I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.” Alexia can’t help but get a tiny bit frustrated with you. Your stubbornness has always been there, and she admires your refusal to quit. In this case, though, she just wishes you would let her help. “Cariño, passing out like that isn’t something normal or fine. Please, tell me what’s happening.”

When Alexia leans down to try to look at your face, she can see the tears forming in your eyes. You glance up slightly, and when you are met with one of the kindest and most caring looks you have ever received in your life, the dam breaks. “I can’t take it anymore! It never ends. It’s always something. One day it’s my footwork, the next it's my shooting. There’s always something to pick apart. And when I’ve finally satisfied him with my football, it’s ‘your grades are dropping’ or ‘your not focusing on school enough’. There's no end to it. I can’t ever stop, and it’s. just. too. much!” You punctuate your last couple words by smacking the medical bed underneath you. 

Your teammates sit in stunned silence for a second, watching as hot tears stream down your face. Finally, Alexia springs forward and pulls you into her arms. Everyone else follows suit, and you finally let yourself let out your anger and frustration in the arms of the people you trust. As you cry, Alexia murmurs into your hair, “It’s okay, cariño. Let it all out. It’s okay. You can rest now. It’s always okay to take a break. Needing to take a break just means that you're human.”

Even when you finally tire yourself out and drift asleep, Alexia holds you tightly. Subconsciously, you burrow further into her arms, the stress crease between your eyebrows that has become a permanent fixture on your face finally relaxing. As she watches you, the captain knows what she needs to do. “I’m getting you out of that house. You’re going to come live with me, and we are going to figure this out. Together.”

---

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[cowboy-robooty]

Nobody understands me when i say that Japan's character growth in his quest for love is that he needs to learn to appreciate and feel grateful for the relationships and love he already has and through that learn to be satisfied with the Best Friend love he has with America. THEY ALWAYS THINK THAT THIS IS A BAD ENDING FOR JAPAN OR SOME SORT OF PUNISHMENT..... NO THE FUCK? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

I actually really love Japan hes one of my favorite characters and because i love him so much im acutely aware of how hes lowkey a bad person LOL. His entire shtick is that he's polite and sidesteps any sort of conflict and acts very Japanese of course, but in his head he has ruthless thoughts about others that he wouldn't dare to say outloud. it has been shown that although japan would never admit it because it's a very uncomfortable thing to face, he is in essence looking down on everyone internally. Because refusing to be honest with others out of politeness is always going to be partially because "you aren't worth the potential conflict involved with stepping closer to me". He also has a tendency to build up ideas of people in his head and then desire that idea rather than the actual person. Like how he thought highly of italy before their first meeting and his fantasies of being bros with mf switzerland wwwww. Once he actually knows these people his idea is broken and he becomes disillusioned until he either A) goes his separate way or B) slowly grows to like them as the person they are. And because of this trait he is totally the type who keeps thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. Bro is the type of guy who spends too much time mulling over all the hang ups he has with the people close to him and get attached to the idea of a perfect person who wouldn't have all these annoying bad traits. I think Japan also has a more traditional mindset about relationships as in hes not the type who has ever really thought about every form of love people experience is inherently unique. He probably subscribes to the social norm of thinking that romantic love is the "final form" of love and thats why hes on his quest to date somebody because it's a mix of thinking that he needs that in his life to complete it and also just wanting somebody to fuck without being a whore in his head. Thats why he always fucking fails because hell never be able to secure a proper relationship cuz people cant read his mind and he doesn't realize that you cant be close to somebody unless you let them know what you really think even if you disagree. I think Italy is his strongest romantic crush ever by a large margin because italy is one of the few people who he met and went omg what the fuck *ranks italy down to dislike*. But over time because they're in the same gang he was forced to keep interacting and learned to love the person italy is in a more genuine sense because he was already aware and acknowledged the flaws he has. I think this is also why America is Japans absolute best friend ever. Because even stronger than italy japan straight up fucking hated this bitch and was like PLEASE GOD JUST LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE. and now theyre super tight bros because japan learned to love americas virtues as well of course but their relationship is special because japan would only ever be fully ruthless and transparent in his thoughts to america. he would only ever tell america "DONT YOU WANT TO STOP BEING SUCH A FATASS ALL THE TIME?" only with america would he be honest and go "no. i dont want to eat this disgusting cotton candy fruitti tootie ice cream flavor what is wrong with you why would you ever chose that when you KNOW you'll be sharing this ice cream with another person" if anybody else did this hed be like "ah.. ermm.... uh.... maybe.. we'd like to choose something else-" *cut to him paying for a 5 gallon tub of cotton candy fruitti tootie ice cream*. But anyways America is asexual in my truth and isn't interested in romantic love but for him being best friends is the highest form of platonic love for him and perfectly fulfilling. I think Japan also feels the highest form of platonic love for America and can be fulfilled by this but it's only his own inability to appreciate what he has in front of him that holds him back. Because he thinks well thats just my best friends its not the same thing as a BOYFRIEND that he thinks it isn't enough even though it really is.

I also think that Japan had a crush on America but it got shot down IMMEDIATELY and thats why his biggest crush is on italy because italy prefers to pretend he doesn't know (cuz he likes japan paying for all his meals) and just lets japan continue to grow his fantasy LOL WHAT A CRUEL GUY!! I don't think japans crush on america is a big deal either because americas response was like "WHOA DUDE... IM MAD FLATTERED BUT UH.. WELL.... YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO LACKING IN THIS DEPARTMENT FOR MY TASTES BROSKI *taps Japan's chest* WE STILL DOWN FOR FORTNITE LATER?". But yes, does this make more sense now? It's not a punishment that japan isn't mean to find what hes seeking because really even if he found romantic love hed just become disillusioned again. hes in love with the idea of dating somebody not actually dating them and is happiest when he learns through the power of best broship that he already has a sincere genuine connection right there with him.

As for the sexual dysfunction part. that is his actual eternal curse. Sorry I couldn't mention it before because people would see that keyword and disregard everything else i was explaining. Emotional relationship wise he is fine but i do believe in his past life he was the meteor that killed the dinosaurs or maybe had isekai crimes or some shit that has made it so in his current life he is cursed to never seme. It is the price he pays for his past sins. But its ok tho because japan is a freaky ass hentai guy and tbh he does not care much about emotional attachment in regards to sex like thats two different things for him ok he's my gooning god and will always be crying and screaming because nobody will wear a sailor uniform with cat ears and let him seme. uke as a result of negative karma