#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look

[skitskatdacat63]

.

[cavegirlpoems]

A story from back when I played D&D. It might have been 3.5 or pathfinder or fantasycraft or one of that ilk. Might even have been 4e. It was like a decade ago.

So. Standard D&D. A party of bold adventurers of diverse origins and skillsets gets together to explore a perilous dungeon and stop a cartoonish baddy. The usual.

I end up building a fairly typical character for me. A goblin Rogue/Assassin. A stealth/melee build designed to get the drop on an enemy, do a bunch of rapid damage, and then fuck off.

She was lawful evil, and firmly in the team-fortress-two-sniper school of "You know who has a lot of feelings? Men what bludgeon their wives to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards." school of being a mercenary. I think I even did an aussie accent.

Anyway her schtick was that she'd noticed 'Adventurers' got to do as much violence as they wanted without social consequences, and she loved violence! So she was gonna do a stint as an adventurer, so once she was done she could go home with a big sack of gold to spend on booze and cake and hot girls. But right now she was on the job, so she was an extremely professional team player with a strict code of conduct. Always be honest with the team, follow the plan, don't mess things up for the team, split the loot evenly. Standards.

Verna was a horrible efficient little murder gremlin who was also proudly guild-certified. * * *

Now, another PC was a chaotic neutral gnome bard who was leaning hard on the 'gnomes are amusingly racist to goblins and kobolds and think this is funny and endearing' thing. He teased Verna a bunch about being green and ugly, which she studiously ignored because - remember - she had Professional Standards.

Anyway, there was a human NPC we met that she didn't like, saying he was a bit stupid and very annoying. Our gnome bard decided it would be very funny to use one of his enchantment spells to make Verna suddenly horny for him and watch what happened.

Verna sees the gnome who keeps fucking with her walk up, wave his hands and babble some arcane nonsense, and now she has weird funny feelings she can't explain. She does some thinking and concludes that she'll pay the human for a snog later, because right now this guy's just obviously cast a spell to mess with her mind, which was Not Okay. Of course, she had Professional Standards, so...

She walks up to our gnome friend and basically informs him: "Hi! I know you just did some magical brainwashing on me, and I am not going to tolerate this! However, because we're in a team together, and I don't want this to become a problem, I am going to very generously allow you to settle the matter with me. We will have a bout of single combat to first blood, and then whoever wins I will consider the matter settled and my honour satisfied, and you won't do that again, and we won't mention it. This is a very kind offer of mine, because I have Standards; where I come from the normal response would be to say nothing and strangle you in your sleep tonight."

And our gnome, who is a spellcaster not a combatant, looks at this and decides he doesn't want to get shown up by her, and basically tells her that if she doesn't like getting messed with she can go back to the goblin village, and laughs at her.

So. Shrug. Quickdraw as a free action. I get a surprise round. You're flat footed, so it's easy to hit and I get sneak attack damage. 3/4 of his health is gone. Initiative. He says he wants to say sorry. I respond that he can say that when it gets to his initiative count, but right now it's my action and he's still flat-footed and here's my big pile of d6s for sneak attack and oh dear I think that's him on -10 hp, so he's not going to get the chance.

* * *

Anyway this kicked off a massive shitstorm ooc about how I just kicked off PvP and murdered a PC for no reason and the game fell apart because the gnome's player genuinely didn't seem to understand that 'mind control' is a hostile action. This was in the bad old days before safety tools and I was playing in a fairly neckbeardy group, so 'a man makes a woman horny against her will to humiliate her and laughs about it' was apparently not a deal-breaker while 'the woman stabs him for it' was.

I still think I wasn't the bad guy in this scenario.

There is no point to this story I just wanted to share it.

[knife-eared-jan]

Ok, as much as I have been hyping and playing 12 hours a day since it got out (still in Act 1 though, bc I'm a slowass player and completionist), I feel like I have to say something that is getting hard to ignore at this point... and I wanna preface this by saying that I am loving a lot of aspects of the game and I adore the writing when it comes to the companions, who I am obsessed with.

And maybe this will get better yet, as I generally heard the writing picks up once the story progresses beyond picking up all companions..

But I'm starting to get quite upset at the way the writing just does NOT care about the established lore and the politics of Thedas like at all, when to me - and many others - that richness, nuance and depth of the world is what makes the games so special.

(Spoilers below)

I looked past the way the elves in Arlathan just seemed to know that their gods are evil and Solas is "kind of a dick" but was right about that. When, you know, that made him basically the Satan of their pantheon up to now.. It was after all the tutorial stage of the game and I understand that you wanna ease newcomers into the lore. I could also handwave it in-universe with Morrigan being there - she could have filled the Veiljumpers in on the discoveries of the Inquisition or even what the Well told her.

It felt a bit weird that our contacts in every other faction just accepted this huge revelation without a blink, but again it was the early stages and I also get that having a discussion about it 6 times with different faction leaders would have been incredibly tedious. So I ignored that. And yeah, at least the First Warden found it hard to swallow.

The fact that they brushed aside the gods finding elven subjects - many of whom after all still worship them - with one sentence from Solas was disappointing though. Instead they chose to ally them with the Venatori and the Antaam who are the pure evil factions with no nuance or motive to side with them besides a comic book level of hunger for power. They didn't even throw in a sentence about the gods maybe speaking to the Venatori through the Archdemons to get them on their side or how it's very ironic that the Venatori, who want to make Tevinter great again, stoop to working with the pantheon of the people they oppress because they see them as lesser and other. No political exploration of the massive lore implications at all.

It really hit me when I picked up Davrin and he commented how Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain blighting the world would really endear us (elves) to the rest of Thedas - this was the first time anyone actually mentioned the political impact of the elven gods being real, freed, evil and blighted on modern day elves at all, when this should be HUGE. It should be ugly. It should be complex. It should be explored in as many examples as bloodmagic and the oppression of mages was in DA2. It should be a central point of Act 1. (This btw made me love Davrin so much in that moment because this was the first time in the game for me when I actually felt like talking to a Dragon Age elf and even just that one line felt like home.)

And now I just did Taash's first companion quest and it seems Qunari lore is also being ignored (except for the gender aspect of it, which I look forward to). Taash's mum was a scholar and had a baby and the only problem about that was that it could breathe fire and was special but otherwise all would have been dandy? Like she would have just been allowed to keep Taash long enough to find that out about her baby if she was living under the Qun? That directly contradicts everything we know about how the Qunari's culture around reproduction and childcare works.

Sorry to be negative and talking myself into a rage - I know it's not something people want to see rn. But like, I realise you have to brush over some lore intricacies for brevity and to make it digestible for new players. But this is a world initially inspired by Wheel of Time and ASOIAF, both of which are interesting because of the depth of ficitional cultures, lore and politics, and hence it's also what gives Dragon Age its appeal. And now they take us to the most politcally interesting areas on the world map and just get rid of all of political depth?

That's really disappointing. Imagine if Winds of Winter dropped all political themes just because there's several previous books and it's been some a lot of years.

Also, I managed to play DA2 before I ever played Origins and they could introduce me to a vast established background of lore just fine back then.

Sorry. Rant over. But I had to get that out of my system.

[martian-astro10]

Astrology observations- Part 2 (use whole signs)

🪷 Capricorn moons are the most emotional people that I've ever come across (and I know a lot of them). They feel everything so deeply. A lot of my friends who are Capricorn moons write poems, and reading them makes me want to give them the biggest hug ever. Humor is their defence mechanism.

🐷 people who have Mercury as their 7th lord are such big sapiosexuals, my god. I can't stress this enough. I've noticed that a lot of times, these people themselves also have a very high or above average IQ.

🪷 Mercury square moon people.... they're so intelligent but can't say "I love you" if their life depended on it. My mom has this and words of affirmation is not her strong suit. she has never told me or my sister that she loves us or is proud of us, we KNOW that she loves us, her actions prove that, but she won't say "I love you" like.....🙄

🐷 Saturn aspecting ascendant people are so intimidating. They just look so scary, but most of the people I know with this, are actually pretty chill once you get to know them, the biggest extroverts and party animals that you'll ever come across, but it depends on the rest of your chart as well.

🪷 Mars as the 7th ruler (and it being in the 5th house) people LOVE gym bods, my sister and a friend of mine have this, and they absolutely loved that Henry Cavill video where he's in the gym, preparing for Superman, and his muscles are BULGING in that, I mean, I love Henry Cavill but those HUGE muscles make me so uncomfortable, like stay away from me please 😭

🐷 Mars square Saturn people are SO HORNY, but they hide it very well. You know those girls, who wear big round glasses and have this face 🥺, but then you see what they read on Wattpad and it's like "he pushed his manhood of 45 inches inside me and started moving" and you're just like WHOA, YOOO, WAIT A MINUTE

🪷 Pluto in 7th really is a bad placement for love and partnerships. These people get cheated on, a lot. If you have this, then do not start a business with other people, there's a high chance that they'll take your money and run away.

🐷 sun opposite moon people look so emotionally......constipated. I know so many people with this and they do NOT know how to communicate. I've never seen them cry. They are also very awkward when it comes to expressing their feelings.

🪷For a lot of people with Moon square ascendant, their mother was the one who made them feel bad about their appearance, like constantly making rude remarks about their body/ face. I've noticed that when these people grow up, they'll be like, for ex, you tell them that a dress doesn't look good and they'll immediately accuse you of calling them ugly, when it's the dress that's ugly, not them, which is basically a trauma response.

🐷 Chiron aspecting midheaven is such a stage fright placement, me and a lot of people I know have this. When I was young, I used to struggle a lot with this, but then I would stand in front of the mirror and practice saying stuff, it can be anything, pretend to be a celebrity who is giving an interview, a politician who is lying, try making weird faces in front of the mirror, it really helps. You can overcome this issue, it doesn't have to be there all your life. I did it, and now I'm able to present in front of thousands of people, do NOT let this hold you back. YOU CAN DO IT 💪🏻

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[ravstars]

Bad date (ᗒ⩊ᗕ)

⌇Wanderer/ Scaramouche x Reader.ᐟ

જ⁀➴Smut: Your usually stoic and ignorant college roommate seems abnormaly engrossed in the date you had planned with a mutual friend, insisting on giving you advice on how to dress, etc. When you come back that same evening, all pouty and disappointed, telling him about how bad it had went, he can't help but show you what you're missing out on with him.

a/n: Careful, this is smut! If you do decide to read it, i hope you enjoy! This is AFAB and Scara does refer to the reader as a good girl. I am still kind of figuring this whole layout thing out as I go so I might change some stuff up sometimes. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Scaramouche was very annoyed.

As if you weren't insuffrable enough, having a date with some imbecile, who you both knew from some party you forced him to go a few months back, made you even more intolerable than before. Why would you go out on a date with some ugly idiot anyway? He huffs, deciding to check in on your pathetic state of getting ready for an immature frat boy.

You were sitting down on the floor infront of your dresser, messily looking through every dress you had. Scara doesn't hesitate to put his hand on your head, making you flinch away and complain about ruining your hair.

''I don't understand what your issue is, just pick a random dress, why are you being so peculiar about this? It's quite frankly pitiful." He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms as you don't even look at him once.

"The white one or this navy one?" You hold two options up, one navy denim dress and one classy white dress with intracate details. He looks at both and decides to indulge himself for this once. It's not like he gets to take you out anyway, so he might as well make you work for his opinion.

''Try both on.'' He simply states, his expression unreadable. You hesitate but agree nonetheless. Getting up with an exasperated sigh and kicking him out until you try the first dress on. You decide to indulge him and show him the first dress — the navy one. You step out of your room, spinning for your roommate, waiting for a reaction.

“Well?”

“It kinda makes you look weird.” He says, suppressing a smirk. You looked ravishing in his truthful opinion, yet he would never admit that.

You huff, wordlessly turning back into your room and trying the other dress on. A pretty basic white dress, fitting for any occasion.

Stepping out once more you’re greeted with complete silence. You spin suspiciously, brows furrowed

“Wear the other one.” He simply says before turning on his feet and leaving you be.

Did this one look that bad? If only it did, Scaramouche thought.

Due to the uncertainty he had left behind, you do decide to wear the navy dress, getting ready as usual. Time had finally come and you couldn’t wait to meet your date, you couldn’t be blamed for being so excited, could you? You walk out that door and leave to the restaurant, Scaramouche unenthusiastic in his goodbyes, the only thing him having said to you being a mumble of ‘…you better stay safe… I don’t want to be responsible for anything later’.

Apropos later… well, it wasn’t an ideal date.

“Look, I arrived there and, first of, he was 10 minutes late. It’s not like that’s a big deal in itself but considering how he didn’t have any manners, it just adds to everything. He kept asking invasive questions and even asked me if I was interested in sleeping with him 30 minutes in. Who does that?” You groan, taking another sip of your energy drink, now a few hours later and at home again, in a big T-shirt as you vented to Scaramouche, who hadn’t said a word the entire time.

“It was horrible, Scara. Why do all the men interested in me have to be such douchebags?”

“Hm,” He mused, the corners of his lips twitching upwards, “Maybe because you’re the one choosing those idiots.” He was a selfish man, he knew that, especially when he felt great gratification when he found out your date had gone terribly. He only offered an energy drink in consolation and an ear, though, he was just an actor like that.

“Oh, and where are those non-douchebags I’m supposedly not choosing then?” You sigh, putting the drink down

“Tch. Dumbass, right here.”

“Huh?”

You turn to him, seeing him with a determined look, his eyes seeking out yours.

“You heard me.” He simply says, as if challenging you to make sense of what he’s telling you.

“Stop saying things like that, Scara…” you grumble, looking down.

“And what if I don’t, hm?”

You feel both of his arms encasing your body, having semi-crawled on top of you. You look up and your noses almost touch as you do. He looks different to you from this angle and you see the faint blush on his cheeks. You look into his eyes and he meets yours the same way. It’s as if he’s asking for permission as he bumps his nose against yours, your lips gaping in silent consent. His eyes flicker down to your lips before he closes them and finally leans in.

His lips press softly against yours, testing the waters with how far you’re willing to take it tonight. As you make no move to pull away he lets his tongue swipe across your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter your mouth.

His tongue curled around yours in a passionate dance of growing arousal. His hands have found their way to your waist, his nails softly digging into the soft skin of your sides.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.” He purrs out, breaking the kiss to look at your flushed expression

“Watching you go out with these weird, undeserving dimwits…” He kisses along your jaw before trailing gently down your neck. You can’t help the sound at the back of your throat when he sucks particularly hard at one spot on your neck. He chuckles under his breath before continuing his work on you. His hands trail down to your thighs and squeeze gently, parting them slowly settling in between

“Are you sure about this, Scara?” You ask, looking up at him from underneath. His lips are shiny, as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip, tasting your saliva on them, so sweet, he thinks to himself.

“Are you sure about this, princess?” He answers with a question back, eyeing your expression with smug curiosity, making you gulp. You have never been this close to him before, what did you even feel for him in the first place? All you knew was you wanted him and you craved his touch deeply.

“I am, I want this.” You reassure shyly, earning a light chuckle from the man above you.

He responds by pressing his lips against yours again, this time more powerful, grinding up against you slowly. He hums at your reciprocation, your hands flat against his chest.

“Mm, may I?” He mumbles into your mouth, hands itching up to play with the hem of your oversized T-shirt. You hum, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. He dares to slip his hand under your shirt for the first time, losing his mind at the feel of your skin. You were always perfect to him, there was no doubt, but right now - this has to be his favorite way of seeing you. He feels you up, hands roaming your hips, rubbing his thumb over the fabric of your underwear on your hip.

“So perfect… haah…” He pulls away with a gasp, his free hand on your jaw “You’re so perfect.”

You can’t comprehend what’s happening, the words coming out of his mouth. He hooks his two fingers under the fabric, startling you. He waits for you to adjust before tugging the fabric down your thighs.

“I can’t wait anymore.” He admits and you nod, closing your eyes. “No, no, look at me, open those eyes, keep your pretty eyes on me.”

Pushing up your shirt he feasts upon your anatomy, kissing and tasting your warm and flushed skin. He groans, growing needy at your gasps and moans.

His fingers find your cunt, gently rubbing your clit, as he relishes in the noises you make, squirming against him.

“I can feel you getting wetter and wetter, hm?” He’s breathless, trying to appear calm and collected, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“It’s unfair…” you start, making him stutter in his movements “You have to take your clothes off too.” He chuckles at your complaint, taking his hands off you momentarily to pull his shirt off. Your hands find his bare skin, smoothing over him, over anything you could see - beauty marks, scars, anything and he swears he could die, drowning in your touch, in your attention, in your love.

You begin to feel your core aching, longing for something of him, a fragment, a piece, anything you could get.

“Please,” you urge and he immediately knows what you want. So he enters one finger into you and opens you up, preparing you gently. Your eyes flutter shut in response, squeezing closed.

His eyes are trained on you, watching every reaction and every expression you made. He leans down to kiss the spot under your ear, feeling you shudder against him.

“Can I put in another one?” He asks, feeling that you were ready for it. He doesn’t hesitate when you nod, groaning as he feels you around his fingers.He grows impatient soon, pulling his fingers out of you just as you were about to cum, making you whine at the loss of contact.

“I know, baby, I know,” he coos, working on unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down to his knees. Your eyes fixate on him, straining painfully.

“Are you okay?” He makes sure one last time, as he tugs down his boxers and you can barely nod, not trusting your voice.

“Ah, shit,” he lubes his cock up with your juices, grinding up and down your folds for as long as he can take.

“Put it in, please,” You force out, hands reaching out for his own. As he intertwines your hands he pushes his tip in, both of you panting in pleasure and maybe overwhelming emotions. He bottoms out quickly, leaning down to be close to you, yearning for more and more and more of you.

Whimpering, he starts to set a pace fitting both of you. He’s never felt so vulnerable before. Being so intimate with you, of all people, it made his heart ache. He liked you - No, he loved you, but he could only express that through his actions right now. He starts to go faster, hitting that spot in you making you roll your eyes.

“Oh, good girl, such a good girl- ah,” he kissed you desperately, the pleasure burning in his veins. He felt so good, it was all he could think about. The feeling of you, hot and a mess under him, was pushing him further and further to the peak of pleasure already.

“I’m close,” he pants, “are you close?”

“Mhm, I’m so close…” you hold onto him tighter, feeling each other.

His hold on you suddenly tightens before his hips stutter against yours, burying himself to the hilt as the pleasure takes over both of you, your orgasm hitting you right where you needed.

“Fuck,” he heaves, eyes searching yours, “are you okay?”

“Ye- hahh, yeah, are you?” your pupils dilate, your body shaking

“Yes, yes, I’m…” he trails off, slumping against you. Mind too dazed for anything else, you close your eyes, letting the exhaustion catch up to you.

You wake up the next day that Saturday, surprisingly in your bed, in fresh clothes and unsurprisingly sore. You sit up in bed, recalling the previous night when you hear a knock on your door.

“Yeah?”

“I made breakfast, get up, sleepyhead.” Scaramouche opens the door, and his eyes soften seeing you in bed

“You good?”

“I’m sore, you dumbass.” You groan with a smile

“You weren’t complaining yesterday.” He scoffs, walking into your room and pulling you up, helping you

“Don’t be so dramatic, my god.” you both laugh, and you hit his shoulder, making him scowl playfully.

[oldwritingm]

Sorry for my inconsistent posting schedule my darlings :(

Creepypasta/MH - The Moment They Knew They Loved You

Characters: Jeff the Killer, Nina the Killer, Jane the Killer, Tim/Masky, “Ticci” Toby

Jeff the Killer

It would’ve been a very long time after knowing you

Even if he was physically attracted to you, he wouldn’t consider that “love”

He usually judges people more on their character

That’s not so say he doesn’t enjoy calling people ugly if he thinks they’re ugly though

So you guys would’ve been vibing together for a while

He’d come away from each interaction with you just a little happier (or a lot happier), but he didn’t really notice it

That is, until he walks into a room one day and finds you relaxing, scrolling through your phone

He announces some unhinged plan, fully intending on carrying it out

You just look up at him for a second before (being used to his bs) just giving a thumbs-up and telling him to have fun

He blinked at you for a second, a grin coming to his lips slowly

He thinks to himself: you know, this is why I like them. They understand me.

And then he starts to think about all the reasons he likes you

He spends the rest of the night with your image in his head and a light feeling in his heart

It’s when he’s lying in bed, telling himself to stop thinking so he can sleep, that he finally realizes:

Oh. I’m in love, aren’t I?

He’s not mad about it; he’s more surprised than anything (at first at least… soon he’s ecstatic about it)

But he fully accepts his affection for you, and it won’t be long till he confesses ;)

Nina the Killer

She’s a pretty perky girl with a lot of emotions

Happiness, sadness, anger… she’s unapologetic in expressing everything, to the point that many call her “extra” or “weird”

It’s only for those people that she acts more reserved, and it’s more in an act of resentment than resignation (basically her saying “eff you loser, you don’t deserve me”)

So she only really likes people that she doesn’t have to act differently around

And of course you’re one of those people :)

She finds little things to like and hate about everyone in her life, and you’re no exception

So one night she just happens to be looking at a picture of you, and she gets to thinking

She smiles as she remembers good times with you: going to the mall, getting messy with baking or butchering, late night texting…

At length she decides that there’s a whole lot more to love than hate

And then she gets to thinking about your looks, and maybe she’s biased because she’s just decided that you’re delightful, but she feels a little heat come to her cheeks

She zooms in on the picture she’s looking at, admiring your features one at a time

She’s baffled that she hasn’t noticed how good-looking you are until now

And then the memories play again in her head, but this time her heart soars extra high…

She’s in love with you!!

She smacks a hand over her mouth when she realizes it, then breaks into a fit of giggles

Get ready for not-so-subtle hints and extra affection….

She’ll want you to figure it out before she actually confesses lol

Jane the Killer

I feel like she would’ve decided that she loved you pretty early on

Maybe even before interacting with you for the first time

She watched you (perhaps not entirely intentionally at first), and was at once enchanted by your looks and the way you carried yourself

You were like a magical creature of beauty to her

She didn’t dare disturb you in the beginning; she was content just watching

She was sure that her infatuation was purely aesthetic; you were just pretty, that was all there was to it

Except IT WASNT

One day she happened to actually interact with you

She was a little nervous, what with you being held so high in her head

But you absolutely floored her

The way you spoke, the way you saw her as a person…

You hooked her like a bass in a pond

She stood there breathless after your first interaction, watching you walk away with a racing heart

It was then that she knew this was much more than physical attraction

She HAD to have you, or at least try to

And trust me, she will try her hardest 😤

She’ll court you for a while first, just to see if you’re even interested

But if/when you are, she won’t be taking her time in confessing ;D

Tim/Masky

Methinks you’d have been friends for a while first

You went through a lot of things together: good times, bad times, silence, chaos…

And maybe you weren’t besties or anything, or super enthusiastic about each other (actually you’re probably a little cold to each other if anything, even if you do feel strongly attached)

But the point is that you have a history, and you know each other well

Plus there’s an unspoken bond that says you’ll have to tolerate each other for a long time (unspoken obligatory friendship moment)

Not that either of you minded

So one day you’re enjoying some silence together, relaxing out on a balcony and waiting for the dark clouds to pour rain

Your eyes are fixed on the sky, leaving your face in full view of the world

And, more importantly, Tim

He’s not sure why, but his gaze catches on your face

He starts admiring the little features: your eyes, the curve of your nose, the way your eyebrows are shaped…

He doesn’t decide that you’re beautiful. He decides that this is the face of someone he loves

It hits him like a truck—just a random thought out of nowhere:

This is the face of someone I love.

And while he’s taken aback at first, with a reddening face he realizes it’s true

He does love you!! All that you’ve been through together really meant something to him

He looks away bashfully, grumbling something when you ask if something’s up

Get ready for the long game…. This man will never confess

He’ll curse himself for even insinuating any feelings for you, so you’ll be left in the dark unless you’re REALLY good at picking up accidental gestures

“Ticci” Toby

He’d be so oblivious to his own feelings

He’d act super affectionate towards you, but only because he acts on impulse

He never stops to wonder why he gets the impulse to hug you or pinch you or say something not-so-mean (even NICE?! 🤯) when he’s around you

He doesn’t even notice that he only gets those impulses for you

So you’ll probably figure it out before him

And it’s only when you start to return that affection that he really starts to question

But again. He is SO OBLIVIOUS

It takes him a very long time to figure it out… you honestly might just have to spell it out for him

He can’t even take hints

I think that when he finally does figure it out, it’s a fleeting thought that catches for some reason

Like, he’s just daydreaming or something and suddenly he’s dreaming of dating you

And he thinks: hey, that wouldn’t be so bad. But it’s not like I like them like that. Wait…. Do I?

And then he’s just. Floored. Because HOW DID HE MISS IT FOR THAT LONG

Literally grips his hair like “WHAT!!!!”

Immediately runs to go yell at you tell you that he loves you

And you’re just like “oh I know. But thanks for finally confessing! <3”

Thank you so much for reading!! Take care my sweet duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

[unholyverse]

MYSPACE 1.0 THEME REFRESH (originally by conkersradfurday, refreshed by unholyverse)

live previews: 1, 2 / download (pastebin)

hi! i've been using this old theme for years now because other myspace themes don't hit the same, but i've been tweaking a lot of it for personal use. i think it's been long enough since this theme has been abandoned that i can upload something that can handle itself better on modern tumblr.

main features

asks are formatted to look like myspace comments. fun!

four custom links

myspace buttons to follow, message, or block the blog owner

a bunch of info spaces so the world can know what you're about

extra font options

functional search bar (but this is tumblr so...semi functional?)

that web 2.0 ugly goodness

other features + info below the cut

new features

friend space - ever wanna show off your friends? now you can with the friend space to show off your top 8 9 friends on your blog. don't have enough friends? no worries, you can always toggle it off

image space - wanna put a bunch of blinkies somewhere? you'll need to have a bit of html and css knowledge for it, but you can go into the code and add as many images as you'd like. just look for the section and start pasting those images. it's a little tedious but tbh that's just the authentic myspace experience isn't it? but if that's not your thing, you can also toggle it off too.

tweaked/deleted features

had to delete the music player :( sorry but it used flash and i'm not really sure how to make a music player in javascript yet

added username input because it was annoying me that your title could be your name and it didn't make sense in most cases

deleted infinite scroll because the script was super outdated

added the ability to change the "online now!" gif. the original gif will always be in the defaults of the code.

changed the text post header font to verdana because it was impact and you could not fucking read that and it wasn't accurate to a myspace bulletin anyways

deleted the feature that force showed all the pages you made on your blog. so annoying. it will look a little weird if you have asks/submissions deactivated, but i doubt many of you using the theme will have them closed anyways

changed the dead links to redirect to the actual myspace site

extra recommended add-ons

scm music player: a customizable music player with tons of different skins and tons of songs you're able to add

unblue polls by @glenthemes: what it says basically; allows you to customize the colors of tumblr polls on your blog

cursors-4u.com: i love these dinky little cursors they're so fun. great if you really wanna lean into the 2000s aspect of the theme

cursor sparkles: what else is there to say about this they're just fun

notes

i plan on updating the theme semi-regularly if bugs are brought up and stuff (which you can tell me through my inbox)

hopefully i can work on extra tweaks as time goes on (such as figuring out how to add a footer image to videos, toggle tags, etc)

don't repost/claim as your own because it already isn't mine in the first place

like/reblog if you use!

update log

added a tags toggle + tweaked the video post sizes

made the "is in your extended network" status customizable to add different text. feel free to tell the world how many gas station boner pills you took

added an official theme link

[myloveismineallmine]

talking about james somerton's dogshit color grading

okay, i see people talking about how poorly james somerton's videos are lit and at first i was like "how does this dumbass not understand three point lighting, its like something you learn about within the first month of film school" but then someone on twitter pointed out he probably just didn't know how to properly grade footage and i was like ooooh my god how did i not realize?

so when you first shoot something, it will probably look fine on your camera, but when you import it to your computer it might look like dogshit on your monitor, like in the image on the left. this has to do with whether you shoot it in LOG or RAW. basically RAW= huge file size but no change in saturation/exposure/white balance, ect. LOG= smaller file size but really ugly, little saturation and contrast, etc.

when you take this footage into your color grading software, you have to put a LUT (look-up-table) matching the camera you shot on onto the LOG footage to restore it so it looks like the image on the right. After that, you can start grading (fixing the exposure, adding colors to the highlights or shadows, there's a million different things you can do when you color grade.)

but whoever edited these (I'm assuming it's James, who we can always count on to be extremely lazy in his "creative" endeavors) just skipped that crucial step and went straight into color grading the LOG footage. Which is a huge no-no.

that is the reason why shots like these look so weirdly lit. conversion to LOG literally drains the contrast and saturation from the footage. which is why it is STEP ONE to correct it in post. but this dude probably just went straight into applying filters and colors and just thought upping the exposure or brightness would fix the footage.

obviously i don't have access to these files personally, so i can't say this with 100% certainty, but it would explain why the footage looks so damn weird. in my personal opinion it's not a lighting mistake necessarily (though the choices of colored gels he uses for his lights are very questionable.)

[divinesolas]

Worth it

Summary: your little sister has a big crush on cregan stark, you attempt to help her score him but his eyes seem to be stuck somewhere else.

c.w: reader is older than cregan, reader is 24, cregan, jace and readers sister are 21, tension, fingering (fem), sister is referred to as kit, cregan is taller (not specified how much) not proofread

w.c: 2k

a.n: was asked if i could do modern cregan and im like OFC !! once i open up my requests again i will definitely add cregan to my list !!

You just watch as your sister paces around your room with a bored face.

“kit-”

“What am i gonna wear? omg my nails look so bad i knew i should have gotten my nails done yesterday fuck!”

Your sister had gotten an invite to a party tonight but it wasn’t just any party. It was cregan starks party. your sister has had a big crush on cregan since the beginning of this school year. You have seen him around before, living in a college town leads to you seeing most of the college students around. You hated to say it but he was hot.

But you can’t tell that to her, when she showed you his picture you acted like you thought he was ugly to make her happy, knowing she would have lost it if you told her you thought he was hot. He was just your type, a bigger guy that clearly worked out, he was kind from what you had heard about him. But none of that mattered what you did know is your sister was completely delusionally in love with him and wanted to sleep with him tonight.

“Kit it’ll be fine, you’re cute, if he doesn’t like you then he can go fuck him.”

“ugh but i want him to fuck me!” she flops face first onto your bed with a groan and you just roll your eyes. “You’re acting like this over a guy….” “I know i know but you must get it, wanting a guy so badly.” You stop and think to yourself. You’ve been with a couple guys in the past but when you try to think about anyone the only guy that pops up in your head is cregan. No. It must be because your sister was just talking about him.

“I guess? but i promise you will never catch me rolling around like a baby and whining over one.” She lifts her head and pouts at you, “I am not.” “I didn’t even say it was you but if the shoe fits.” She stands mumbling to herself about how much she hates you but you just laugh and fall back.

“Well what are you gonna wear tonight?” “What are you talking about?” “They said i can only come if you come with me.” You sit up and look at her confused, “What?” “That's what Jace said, oh and he asked if we can pick up some booze.” That must be it, but you have no clue why you have to come. and how close was she to these people they know who you are?

“im not a college student kit it would be fucking weird if i showed up.” “Y/n please i really wanna go,” she pouts and you and laces her hands together to beg you. You can’t say no to your sister. Your face must admit defeat because all attempts of arguing with you sister go down the drain as she throws and dress at you and demands you get changed so she can go see if she can try to chat with cregan. Fuck it, you’ll stay for like twenty minutes or atleast until you see cregan and your sister chatting then you’ll leave.

You feel awkward as soon as you walk in, especially since your sister runs away from you basically as soon as you step through the door because she spotted some of her friends. You grip the boxes of beer you have tightly in your hand as you try to glance around to find a kitchen. You walk around a bit and manage to find it, letting out a sigh of relief as you place down the boxes.

“Thanks gorgeous.” You jump and turn around being faced with the man himself. “Cregan.” He had a wide grin on his face, “My reputation proceeds me.” You open and close your mouth trying to come up with something to say. God he was hot. fuck you can think like that. Your eyes drift down and you can see a little bit of his chest due to his unbuttoned shirt and hear him laugh and look back up and you see him just watching you. You take a major step back as you flush.

”I'm sorry-” “Don’t apologize i like you looking at me.” He moves closer to you and you move back until you hit the table and he’s standing right in front of you. “You’re beautiful.” “Thank you..” You look away from him and from where you are you can see you sister chatting with her friends. Your eyes widen and you push his chest making him stumble back from you out of view.

“I can’t talk to you.” He raises one of his eyebrows, the look on his face never dropping. “And why can’t i?” you shake your head trying to move around him so you can leave, “I'm not a student.” “I know.” He keeps on standing in front of you, “ Your kits sister, wanted you here.” You tilt your head, What?

“Huh?” He steps closer and you can feel his breath on your face, “I like you. Wanted you here tonight so i can finally get the chance to talk to you.”

what?

“I can’t.” You can’t do this to your sister could you? She seemingly really likes this guy. No matter how hot you think he is. “Why not?” “My sister likes you.” You blurt out. He doesn’t seem shocked by your reply. as if he already knew this info already. he just looks up to the living room with a shrug, “Doesn’t seem like she likes me much.” You turn your head and see her sitting on some guys lap making out with him. You’re gonna fucking kill her. She was so determined early what happened to that?

“oh..” “come with me.” he offers you his hand, no pressure for you to take it. You shake your head, “im older than you..” “And? that's even better.” you raise your eyebrows at him, finally feeling relaxed for the first time since you stepped through the door. “You into older women?” He shrugs with a smirk on his face, “could be, never been with one. never been with anyone like you.” you flush but try to keep up your attitude. “You couldn’t handle me.”

He leans down and whispers in your ear, “I would love to try,” He presses a kiss on your ear before pulling back and once again offering you his hand. “You don’t have to say yes.” With one more glance at your sister who seems to be eagerly shoving her tongue down that poor guys throat you grab his hand. “fine, but you better make this worth it.” “Believe me, i will.”

You don’t make another sound as he’s leading you up the stairs. you try to keep your face hidden in case you sister just so happened to look in your direction. you don’t look up until you enter a bedroom, standing in the middle of it. You hear a click behind you and you turn around. He grips your face and pulls you into a kiss.

You can feel his facial hair scratching against your skin in a delicious burn. He’s a good kisser, a really good kisser, but you won’t tell him that, it seems like his ego is already high enough. you two walk back until your falling back onto the bed. You watch as he rips the buttons off his shirt and throws it aimlessly on the floor. “You couldn't just unbutton it?” he laughs, “You should take it as a complement i want you so bad.”

That certainly has you pressing your thighs together and he grins before getting on top of you and kissing you once more. One of his hands slide up to your titties and play with them over the fabric of your dress while the other slides down to your core, rubbing you over your underwear. “Fuck you're so wet, all this for me?” “yes, just for you.” He laughs, “your tune as changed from the kitchen.”

He rubs over your clit and you throw your head back, “Shut up and touch me please.” he lets out another chuckle before taking his hand off your titties and bring it to move your underwear aside, “Anything for you.” He suddenly shoves two fingers into you and your hands grip his shoulders. “Fuck you’re so tight.” You can feel him wiggle and press his fingers against your walls. “cregan…” “I know i got you.” His pace is fast enough you are not whining but slow enough to where you are left aching all over. Your dress is far too tight. you are so hot you feel like you can’t breath. you arch your back and try to pull down the zipper on your back to take it off. You hear some mumbled curses from cregan before he reaches his free hand to your back and pulling it down. You let out a sigh of relief that is quickly followed by a loud moan as he plays with your clit with his thumb.

He pulls your dress down far enough with his free hand to free your breasts and lets out some more mumbled curses, admiring you with a shine in his eyes. “You are so gorgeous.” You don't respond. not that you could in your state. He leans down and takes one of your nipples in his mouth and rubs the other one with his hand.

The stimulation is too much for you to bear, your legs begin to shake which causes cregan to lift his mouth off you and look at you, “You gonna cum?” You nod your head, your eyes closed tight. “cum, fuck i wanna feel it cum.” He does not still even as his hand becomes drenched in your juices. He stops after awhile, letting you ride out your orgasm before he slowly pulls out his fingers, bringing them to his mouth and sucking on them.

He goes down to unbutton his jeans before there's a knock on his door. “cregan!”

an annoyed look dawns his face as he glares at the door, “What the fuck do you want jace?”

“Kit’s looking for her sister. want’s to tell her shes leaving. you know where she is.” You look at him alarmed and try to sit up but he just pushes you back down. “If i see her ill let her know.” there's some talking outside the door you can’t hear, its your sister and Jace. you hear footsteps fading before a key gets inserted in the lock and his head pops in. cregan lays the blanket over you to cover you.

“Jace i though i told you to fucking cover for me.” Jace just rolls his eyes, “I've been fucking doing it you dipshit, she got worried about her sister when i tried to take her back to mine.” you finally get a good look at him and you realize he's the guy that your sister was making out with on the couch. Cregan just shakes his head and rolls his eyes, “fine fine you leaving?” Jace nods and sends you a smile before you turn your head away embarrassed. “have fun.”

The door clicks with a lock and cregan tosses the blanket off you, “sorry about that.” “did you ask jace to hook up with my sister?” “don’t say it like that he actually likes her.”

he goes back to unbuttoning his jeans, “you still wanna continue?” You nod, reaching your hands over to pull him out of his pants. “You still need to make this worth it you know.”

[alwaysshallow]

― blood on my shirt, rose in my hand

SUMMARY: Simon Riley knows you have bad experiences with dating, but he also knows you don't really need no one but him. He's gonna provide you anything. So you can imagine how he could change, when for the first time, you think you've found the one man who's right for you. To your surprise, weird events happen during the time you date Nick. Thankfully, Simon's there to help you. (11,4k)

READ ON AO3

A/N: this is SUCH a long piece, so some of it is here, but the full version is on AO3. i hope you're gonna forgive me for this one </3

"It's not like I'm ugly, right? I thought about it. If I'm ugly, so that's why it doesn't work out." you sip your favorite wine, looking right at your best friend, who has been listening for the past hour your ramblings about dating.

"You're fuckin' stupid, but not ugly, pet."

He's the best friend in the world – you can say this, meaning it with your whole heart. In fact, he's the best friend everyone probably wished to have, at least in your mind. Not only here for you, but loyal, you can tell him basically anything. He wouldn't say a thing, even if someone was nagging, and he was mostly a good adviser; all the qualities you looked for in a best friend, right?

And he was brutally honest, like right now, but you don't mind it. Simon Riley had this thing, and even if sometimes you were almost offended at his bluntness (like this one time, when he told you you're a crying mess and you act… worse than a toddler), you mostly appreciated it. Your other friends couldn't compare to his honesty, this man was not the one to lick your ass.

Or, so you thought.

"Excuse me?" you raise your eyebrow, laughing, while shaking your head. "You should, I don't know, tell me I'm amazing and they don't deserve me. Or so." you joke; it causes him to roll his eyes.

"That's what I told you. Different words, but the same thingy."

"Right."

It sometimes sucks for you that Simon isn't a girl. He has this unbelieveably annoying guy thing, where he just can't be delusional with you, and he can't just mourn over some hot guy. His way of thinking is… on the other level, he totally skips the mourn part, the part that is pathetic; he's just saying things like "move on" and "there's a lot of them anyway". Again, you love it, but you really wish you could cry about guy being so pretty that it hurts, without him rolling his eyes.

Yet, when you're more in mad mood than mourning one, his attiude is just perfect. He's the one to encourage you to scream, he even brought you a few times to rage room when you needed to smash a few things, not to mention the attiude he was setting you in. Powerful, not giving a shit about a "piece of a man that doesn't deserve you".

Simon sighs. "You're worryin' too much. Really that desperate?"

You huff, as you sink more into the plushy couch in your apartment. "I'm not desperate. It's just…" you take a few seconds to think "being love starved."

"Sex starved, you mean."

"Love starved." you send him a look.

"Mhm. You fancy plushies, hugs, and all shite like this?"

"You're so fucking British, it hurts" you laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I want something like this. Someone to hold me, someone that cares about me and I know it. Sex comes in package, of course, but it's just… ugh, I want a man" you groaned.

You feel as pathetic as ever, when Simon doesn't respond – because how exactly should he? He wasn't vocal about things like this, he usually just nod his head, and there it was, another topic. A miracle it was that he was already listening to your date rambling, not cutting it off because he was uncomfortable or something.

Dreams about your love life… more girly conversation.

Mostly – you know guys who loved talking about it, obviously, and you adore it pretty much, especially when you can know their perspective on some things, but… Riley wasn't really one of them. He had "simple hookups" as he said one day, when you asked him about doing double-dates. It wasn't even an option, he just liked to ocassionally fuck and that's all.

So you stopped trying a few months ago for a double-date. Instead, you focused more on finding a man that would meet your expectations at least in the middle, and that was exhausting, to be honest. Tinder dates were just a disaster after disaster – if it wasn't some catfish, a guy that wanted to marry you and have kids after two weeks of writing, it was most definitely a guy with a desire to bang you quickly.

Romance was dead these days, you noticed. That wouldn't keep you away from trying to find someone, though. Patience was a key in things like these.

"Maybe you will set me up with one your friends? It wouldn't suck. You know them." you think out loud.

"Definitely too much wine f'you." Simon takes your glass, and pours all of the liquid to his mouth, swallowing it like it was some kind of juice, not alcohol. "You don't want a guy from military in your life. Trust me."

There's some sternness to his tone, at which you raise your eyebrow. It was just a funny comment from your side, nothing else – you know by the heart that this man doesn't like the idea of connecting his two worlds. "I know, Simon. Just joking, right?"

You place a hand on his. It's a comedic, yet, heartwarming view, when you see the size difference.

"And, you're pretty cool for a military guy."

He huffs. It seems like pretty cool offends him, but he doesn't say it out loud, so it can be only your imagination working. "You met me before I enlisted. 's different."

"How different?"

"You knew me before military."

He doesn't give you another answer that night, nor the continuation of this one – he brushes you off, like you are some kind of bug that is disturbing him, and brings up another topic, about his deployment. He asks if you can watch his apartment when he's gone, take care of it; it's stupid, Simon knows that you will always agree, but it's the need of asking you anyway.

And, he likes coming home, where he can smell your perfume, where he can see that you made some changes. You tend to do that a lot, mostly buying stuff to his apartment. "It looks worse than room in the hospital" you always say, when he cocks his eyebrow with amusement. He doesn't say that, but he finds it really adorable that you care so much, to make his space… cozier, even if he's not really attached to it. Mostly, it's for your comfort when you come to visit him, and that happens a lot; not like he minds it. Anyone else would be banned from his apartment, but you? Oh God, you wouldn't be, not in the milion years.

You could probably be the worst ever to him; call him names, punch, anything, and he would still be your Simon. It's what he was used to, to being by your side, no matter what time, no matter if you were in the good mood or not; your presence was everything to him.

Not like he'd ever confess that, but it is what you know, silently.

Yet, you are so good to him. Always sending him letters or texting him when he is on deployment. A couple of times, you sent him little things too, if he forgot something, photos included too, but new ones; mostly you captured views, but you were here once or twice. His happiness may not be that visible to outsiders, but his heart is full every time.

"My girl", he'd tell boys when they saw a polaroid of you, swiftly tucking it into his vest because no one was allowed to see it more than three seconds.

Often, Gaz joked if you are actually his girl even if you're not dating, but it sounded so bizzare to Ghost. How would you not be his? Thirteen years of friendship counted as something beyond being only his best friend, no? At least in his mind it was like this. He was used to you dating briefly other guys, but it lasted maybe a few months top. Nothing serious, probably his hookups were more meaningful than your relationships.

So you can easily imagine his confusion, when your mutual friends tell him big news about your new object of interest; someone that he doesn't even know yet, but he's not really his fan on the beggining.

It was just a month of being away.

His eyes are on you now; you are embarrassed, looking anywhere but at him. You don't even speak, you just wave your hand in dismissive manner, trying to change the topic because you don't really want to talk about it. Not in the presence of your best friend, at least.

It works for everyone but Simon, and you know it by the way he looks at you, processing what he just heard. Changing a topic, sudden talkativeness from your side is like buying time in that, time precious to think what to say to your best friend later on.

Because you know for the fact that he'll ask. He always does, and now he has a reason.

You have your reasons why you haven't told him. "It's nothing serious. That's why I didn't tell you." your voice is a little more silent than usual, but he can hear it anyway. You two are taking a walk to your apartment with no one around; and it's awkward one.

Simon seems like he doesn't want to say anything about your poor choice of men. It worries you; he always wanted somehow to make fun of you or make comment. Now, it's just a nod, like he gets it, but you know it's not it. He doesn't get it.

But you don't know what it is.

"C'mon!" you nudge him, and when it doesn't seem to affect him, you stand right in front of him. A little wobbly because of alcohol, your vision isn't so great too, but it makes him stop in his tracks. "Say something."

"Somethin'" he grumbles, and you can't help but roll your eyes. "What? Told me-"

"-I know what I told you!" you cup his face in your hands. Your head is a bit hazy, but the intensions are clear; making him talk and soft. It always works, so you have a lot of hope. "He's a good guy, but I want to meet him a bit closer to be… certain about him, you know? You've heard me whining about boys a bit too much."

"You can tell me everything." he muses, and you can't help but smile at that. Of course – of course you can tell him everything. You never doubted it for a second, and you think of yourself as stupid, doubting that he wouldn't want to hear about it. "Ill be the judge of that, though. Good guy thing."

"I can't be trusted?" you tease, and when he lets out a low chuckle, you grin even more. It's like a reward after him being his grumpy self.

"No." he shakes his head. "You don't know what is good for you. But that's why I'm here."

Under the influence of alcohol, you didn't pay too much of attention to his words; probably you wouldn't pay attention to it even if he'd say this when you are sober. Simon as your protector – it's so natural, you don't even need to think about it as something weird. It's just the way things are for thirteen years, everyone knows this.

Your friends, who were a bit reluctant on the beggining, but two parties later, when he joined the competition of drinking on time and wasn't drunk at all, he won over their hearts.

It was tougher with your parents, when you were in highschool. A little distanced at first, they constantly asked where were his parents (which, you told them, was rude asking, especially to his face), telling you how much of a bad news he could be for you. Suggestion of him ruining your future was the worst, you never thought of him this way; that discussion caused you to give them the silent treatment for a few days.

Apparently after that, suggesting that Simon is around you too much, clinging to your side and giving you "weird glances", they stopped the narrative, admitting that the boy might be damaged, but not broken. You still felt like they're judging their every move, but seeing that he had pretty good life plan, seeing that he thought about military and went here actually? Hell, they completely stopped being suspicious in any means.

Riley just had this thing of charming people, even if they didn't like him in the beggining. He had everything under his finger, trying to keep things under control – it was like that… pretty much since the beggining of his life. You met him when he was an adult, but he always liked to keep things under control; people, things that he cared about. What belonged to him was sacred, untouchable for anyone else.

The possessiveness started in his early childhood with toys, when he absolutely despised everyone who just wanted to touch his things, to lay their dirty, filthy fingers here. In early classes, it was considered just rude.

When he was older though, he started fighting for various things. Knowing he has the advantage, he used his legs, fists, when he had to, and no one was looking, besides the actual victim. He wasn't stupid; he knew how troublesome the public can be, he also knew the power of manipulation a bit too well to get caught so easily. Wasn't the plan, getting caught; it once happened, but because he wanted to; he even broke his own nose, making it like the other guy did it, just to get what he needed. The reputation of kid who was broken in the childhood, so he's just not opening on others was… suitable, for him. No one could suspect anything, especially when the kid just happened to be "attacked" by one of the popular ones, right?

The idea of power was something that Simon truly desired from the beggining; maybe it has something to do with the lack of his parents in his life, being transferred from one foster family to another. Maybe it's just him being a little fucked up – who knows.

What mattered, was the fact he had you. You, so sweet, so considerate to be by his side, to be protected by him, to be the person who "opened" because of her. Little did you know, he opened just because he wanted to be closer to you, not those fuckers you hang out with.

If you knew his past, you would have another reasons in mind, why he showed up to meet your potential new boyfriend. Jealousy, posessiveness, power complex, him being a control freak who can't give you to anyone he personally doesn't trust – if ever, considering you were his precious best friend. He isn't willing to share.

You aren't really aware of him being this crazy. You think of his flaws, and you see someone that has been damaged, someone that you can and will help, if he just asks for it – or if you'll see he needs it. So, naturally, you help, and grin the widest you can, when you see him in the door. He shows completely unexpected. It doesn't take you long to wrap your hands around his neck, tight, as you hug him.

Happy as always because you can see your friend, happy as ever because moments like these means a lot to you. When he's deployed, you can't even see him, so you're taking all in when he's right in front of you.

"Hope 'm not interruptin'." he murmurs into your hair, as his head is practically buried in them; he has to bend down a little to be at your level, but it's something he enjoys. The power.

"Never." you say immediately, not even hesitating in your statement. "Actually, you found a pretty good moment."

"That I did, eh?" his eyebrow arches, as he straightens up.

"As always. Nick's here, you have to meet him."

|READ THE REST ON AO3|

[biggaybunny]

I know it's already been talked about a lot, but I'm still thinking about that "wouldn't disco elysium be better if it were about a girl in the alps looking for her neighbor's lost cat" (paraphrasing) post. Because I think part of the problem is that it comes from a lack of understanding of videogames as a storytelling medium.

Not saying that anyone misunderstands that videogames have a story, but that's different. The story in a videogame is usually understood as something that contextualizes the player's environment and options for interacting with that environment. Even if the story is not about you the player as directly as something like, say, skyrim, but is instead about a character like Leon Kennedy in Resident Evil or something, the contract between player and game is that the player will assume the role of Leon Kennedy for the duration of the story.

You are not Harry Du Bois! You are not meant to assume the role of Harry. You can like him and even empathize him, I'm not saying any of that is wrong. But your role is very close to that as any other voice in his head. Honestly if anything I feel like Volition represents the player the best. You're basically picking this wet threadbare gym sock of a man and going "fuck's sake, I guess this is what I've got to work with".

The game tries to point this out to you, too. You are not Harry. It is Harry doing these things, saying these things. These are Harry's decisions. What happens if you try too hard to be reasonable and conciliatory and nothing like a Rechavolian cop in a backwater town? You get called the "sorry cop" and mocked for it. If you try too hard to play according to your personal politics? Everyone comments on your weird overzealous and out-of-the-blue "feminism", or you wind up pestering the queer characters in the game with out-of-place and clumsy mentions of their sexuality. What happens if you try not to be inflammatory and opinionated? "Say one of the communist or fascist things or fuck off".

The game doesn't stop you because that wouldn't get the message across. It's a very good game. It is, in my opinion, very possibly the best example of videogames as a storytelling medium we've ever seen. And it's willing to show you just how out of place you'll be if you try to put yourself into the crocodile-leather shoes of Harry Du Bois. In fact it can do that and still tell you the rest of the story it's trying to tell, because the writers were that damn good at their job.

And yeah, the game's going to make you uncomfortable. Harry himself is going to make you uncomfortable. He's supposed to. It's like Trant says near the end, Harry is like a magnetic tape, pressed against the world, recording everything. Even the ugly bits. Maybe especially the ugly bits. But you can't just throw out the ugly bits.

Sometimes you've got to work with something imperfect. Alongside imperfect people. And you can still accomplish amazing things with imperfect people. It doesn't mean accepting their imperfections or ignoring them. It just means knowing what's important to prioritize, and understanding that a good deed done by a not so good person is still a good deed.

But to understand that, you need to be able to look at Harry and recognize him as separate from you even as you go through the story. He's your point of view because he's the protagonist, and you have control over the narrative to an extent because a videogame is not one-to-one comparable to other forms of media like movies or books. But it's still a story you are experiencing, not partaking in. I don't think that's going to be revolutionary for most people, but I also think that most videogames blur that line enough that not everyone's going to innately recognize the difference. I hope I've done a good enough job explaining what I'm getting at.

Besides, Harry would be way better at finding a neighbor's missing cat.

[fishfooddude]

Wet

Jake Seresin x Reader

[Part 2 to Panty Stealer from Kinktober 2024] (This got a lot longer than initially planned so it's gonna be a three-parter)

Top Gun Maverick MasterList

Directory

“Charlie wasn’t a complete pain in the ass, right? If he was, I will ground him,” you asked as you sat next to Jake at the bar. Coming to The Hard Deck after a long week of work with him had become a weekly tradition. There were other aviators around, but the undivided attention Jake gave you was never unappreciated. Jake continued to provide you with all the details on how Charlie was a little shit that deserved to go back to the dumpster you’d found him in as a kitten. You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him, “Hey. That’s my son. I can threaten to put him back in the dumpster I found him in, but you absolutely can not.”

Jake rolled his eyes and quickly downed the last of his beer, “So, how was your vacation?”

You shrugged, “It was fine. Honestly, I was a little lonely without you.” your words were music to his ear. “My sisters never want to do shots with me or play pool or go hit on boys because they’re all married.” 

Jake laughed and nodded awkwardly, “When have we ever hit on boys together?” 

“You watch me hit on boys sometimes.” you challenged. Jake laughed again and conceded to your point.

“Want another round?” he asked, hoping you’d say yes. You shook your head and pulled $20 out of your bag. Jake shook his head and pulled his wallet from his pocket.

“I got it this time, beautiful,” Jake said, taking the money from your hand and putting it back in your purse. You groaned and reached for his wallet. Jake laughed, “You buy the six-pack for football this weekend, and we’ll call it even.” 

“Jake, this was my thank you for cat-sitting. Com’on.” you insisted, still none the wiser about how Jake had helped himself to that pair of underwear from your hamper. He shook his head again, and you gave up on paying for the man’s beer. “I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” 

~

As you checked your makeup in the bathroom mirror, you saw a pair of girls walking in. The one on the left was a cute blonde, and the other was a redhead. You noticed the blonde on the verge of tears, and her friend tried to comfort her, “Girl, he’s not worth it.” the redhead cooed. The blonde shook her head and rushed into the empty stall, “Diana- come on, we don’t cry over aviators!” the girl said outside the door. You weren’t trying to be nosey, but curiosity got the best of you. 

“Carly! He’s never said no to me!” Diana sobbed from behind the stall’s door. “He basically called me ugly!” 

You watched Carly roll her eyes from her reflection in the mirror as you pretended to fix your hair. You had no idea who they were referring to outside of him being an aviator who never says- it was Jake. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You grinned in Carly’s direction and awkwardly slipped out of the bathroom, hoping not to run into either of them again. As you walked out to the bar you saw Jack sitting at the bar, scrolling on his phone. Why would he turn down a girl? Especially one that was very much his type… you lost yourself in thought as you joined him back at the bar. “Ready to go?” Jake asked with a smile plastered on his face. There was a look on Jake’s face; you couldn’t tell what it was from, but you were wary of it. You nodded, and the two of you headed out to your cars. 

Jake walked you to your car, which coincidentally was parked a few down from his truck. As you went to unlock your car door, you dropped your keys. You let out an annoyed huff before bending down to pick them up. You didn’t realize the back of your shirt slid up to reveal the top band of your underwear to Jake… the prettiest shade of blue he’d ever seen. He swallowed hard and awkwardly said bye before quickly returning to his truck. His sudden departure confused you, but you shrugged off the behavior as Jake was just being Jake; sometimes, he was a weird guy.

~

Jake sped home and ran upstairs to his bedroom. As soon as he’d parked his truck in the driveway, he somehow unlocked his front door. He yanked open his bedside table drawer and felt like a halo of light came from beneath his most prized possession at the moment, that tiny dark red thong with the little bow on the front he’d been using as a masturbatory aid since he’d taken them from your bedroom the other week. Jake brought them to his nose and inhaled. The scent had subdued since his initial procurement, but he still picked up on undertones of what your pussy must have smelled like. 

Jake laid back in bed and yanked his jeans down before reaching for the bottle of water-based lube on his bedside table. He popped the top of the bottle and was ready to squirt some out, but before he could, he paused. This was creepy, right? Was this was crossing a boundary? He’d had little remorse over the topic the nights prior, but seeing a minuscule sliver of your panties and then running home to masturbate with the pair of panties he’d stolen from your laundry hamper- this was weird? Was this him doing too much? He groaned and closed his lube before tossing it across the room. You were one of his best friends, one of his coworkers, one of the people he felt he could rely on. He’d turned down the blonde girl he’d taken home several times tonight. He said he ‘wasn’t interested’ and had been actively planning to come home to watch a video on his phone while using your panties, but now there was a pit in his stomach he couldn’t get over.

The next day at work, Jake saw you standing by the radio tower, talking with one of the other girls you worked with. That similar feeling in his stomach returned when you waved to him. He met your wave with a tight grin before pushing his aviators up the bridge of his nose and quickly walking the other way. “Hangman!?” you called after him as he went to the hangar. You shot your coworkers a confused look, “That was weird, right?” you asked her. She nodded before excusing herself to the tower. As much as you wanted to confront him but, you were due in the tower.

There was tension in the air at lunchtime. Since Jake had walked away from you this morning, you’d decided not to sit with him and Javy at lunch. Jake tried his hardest not to make eye contact as you huffed past your usual lunch table. Javy looked over his shoulder to watch you go sit with a group of women on the other side of the lunchroom. “What did you do to that girl?” Javy questioned, shooting Jake a dirty look. 

Jake sighed, “I did something stupid, and I’m embarrassed.”

“You’re embarrassed?” Javy asked in astonishment. Jake wasn’t the kind of guy to be embarrassed, so he must have done something horrible. “What did you do to that girl?” 

“I’m not confessing to shit, Coyote.” Jake challenged, “I just need to compose myself before I hang out with Y/N again.” 

Javy’s brow furrowed as he contemplated what Jake could have done to you, “Did you have a sex dream about her? No shame in that. Y/N’s pretty hot.” Jake rolled his eyes at the question. While he has had numerous sex dreams about you since stealing your panties, he’d never confess to it. “Then what’s goin’ on?” Javy laughed.

“I’m keeping it to myself,” Jake said, putting his hands up defensively.

~

You huffed as you walked up to Jake’s front door, frustrated by his behavior the past few days at work. He’d been ignoring you, and today was the final straw. Another air traffic controller in the communication tower had been trying to get into your pants for months. You said ‘no’ every time he’d try to ask you out, but he just wasn’t taking ‘no’ as an answer. Thankfully, Jake would always step in and tell him to fuck off, but since he was actively avoiding you- you had to endure a 20-minute story about how this guy’s adult kickball team was going to some competition and how he wanted you to come with him.

You pounded on Jake’s door, “Jake, open the door! I know you’re home!” you yelled. Your yelling brought Jake snapped him back to reality. He’d been sitting on his couch after work that night, ‘watching’ baseball alone and running the band of your panties through his fingers. He stuffed the panties in his back pocket before opening the door. 

“Hey…” he awkwardly greeted you when he saw you standing there with your hands on your hips. His eyes were drawn to the form-fitting running shorts you were wearing with an old, worn-in Navy shirt.

“Why are you being weird?” you said, pushing into his house. Jake sighed and closed the door before facing you again. He swallowed softly and waited for you to start berating him. “Did I do something?” he saw your brow furrow together as you asked; Jake shook his head, making you groan. “Talk to me, Jake! We don’t not talk to each other. You’re my best friend.” 

“Listen, Y/N, you didn’t do anything wrong- this is a me thing.” 

“Jake. I have to go to an adult kickball game because you weren’t there to tell Billy to fuck off. This isn’t just some you thing. What happened?” you demanded

Jake stared at the floor before reaching for his back pocket. He was really going to ruin your friendship. “Just don’t hate me…” he said softly before pulling the balled-up pair of panties from his pocket. He put his hand out and slowly opened his fist to reveal the panties he’d taken from your room. You stared at the material in his hand and were initially confused. When you realized what he was holding, you looked up at him quizzically. 

“Are those- why do you… What the fuck, Jake?” you asked, taking your panties from him. “Why are they… wet?” you feared the answer you’d receive, “NO! Don’t answer that question…”

“Y/N- I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have taken them-”

You cut Jake off by touching his shoulder, “Please stop talking. Jake… this is a lot to take in. Um.. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

[enbysiriusblack]

rereading lily's letter to sirius:

starting off strong with 'dear', very formal letter writing but also kinda endearing depends how you look at it. BUT she follows with his 'padfoot' soo it's def endearing. it already shows just how close the two are from those two words.

ofc harry's favourite present was the one sirius got him (#bestdogfather)

ofc sirius gets a 1yr old a toy broom (#funnestdogfather)

i love how chill lily is about harry almost killing the cat and smashing a vase. she's so the fun mum. also petunia and lily still sending each other christmas presents, like why do i find that so sad/sweet?? idk. i love their relationship sm it's so interesting. and ik some people are gonna be thinking 'oh petunia probably regifted the ugly vase' but no. i think she went shopping specifically for lily and picked it out thinking it looked great (she's got horrible taste)

lily saying james found it funny as if she didn't also. girl please, you know you found it so fucking funny. also james already planning out harry's quidditch career. the man is obsessed. (no war au hari def would've became a professional qudditch player i fear)

btw if you're not british, "we've had a very quiet birthday tea", basically means like an afternoon tea. they're not just drinking tea, they do have tea but also some food (like lunchy food, sandwiches and cakes) and sit down at a table and chat basically. and harry will likely also be opening presents during it too

harry kinda having a doting grandma with bathilda>>>

lily prioritising the order !! she's so responsible, smart, dedicated i love her. plus she's being so real about babies. like. yeah he ain't gonna remember it anyway (also i'm guessing this means like. sirius had an order mission so couldn't come to harry's birthday? but does this mean peter and remus did too? or was only sirius invited??)

james having trouble with just staying at home constantly <33 and trying to hide it so lily doesn't worry <333 cutest husband ever.

fuck dumbledoreeeee. i don't mind him sometimes, but how dare he take james' cloak (his family heirloom) so james and lily and harry can't go on secret outing together??? they are NOT made for staying inside. james needs his runs and flying and fresh air and chats to strangers and lily needs her woods and nature and hiking and camping.

"if you could visit, it'd cheer him up so much" SHE GETS THEM.. SHE GETS THEM

lily also calling peter "wormy", they're so also her best friends and not just james', do NOT even argue.

ik people argue this bit about the mckinnons as a proof lily was never close to marlene, but it so is proof of the opposite to me!! maybe i'm coldhearted, but i would NOT be crying all fucking evening just cause a family that i kinda know and am colleagues with one or a few of them got killed.. all evening??? ALL EVENING?? yeah, they were def close friends for sure. (and she's not just gonna single out marlene because it was ALL her family, it'd be a bit weird and disrespectful to only say marlene. especially if you, as a lot of people do, hc lily and marlene as roommates and close friends all throughout school. like lily would've visited marlene's family quite a few times. she'd know them fairly well)

lily getting ALL the gossip about dumbledore from bathilda. love that for her. also her not believing dumbledore was friends with grindelwald i'm giggling. she would've lost her mind at the idea of them as exes fr (also lily building up the suspense about dumbledore being friends with grindelwald by putting the "friends with grindelwald" part on the next page so he'd have to read the next page.. she totally didn't just run out of room. that was on purpose)

"lots of love" SCREAMING. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SM. lilypad ily. lilypad ily. bestfriends fr!!!!!!!

also not related to the text itself, but severus taking the page where lily says "lots of love" and cutting lily out of the photo of harry on his broomstick like... FUCKING MAN.. that was for SIRIUS. that's lily's love for SIRIUS. don't take her love, she didn't fucking mean it for you, don't try to pretend it was you, you absolute wanker.. anyway

[literaila]

Ok but like i would love to see megumi tsumiki and reader reacting to gojo getting an undercut in your writing style

“what is that?”

satoru has only walked through the door, slipping off his shoes and trying to pretend like he didn’t know that you were all waiting for him.

so what if he was a bit elusive about his whereabouts? it’s supposed to be a surprise.

but you’re standing by the door, with your arms crossed. your face is almost pained.

satoru can’t help but laugh. “no, hello?”

“satoru,” you whine, going to inspect him. “why didn’t you say anything?”

tsumiki creeps up behind you, wanting to see what you’re complaining about. her eyes widen when she catches a glimpse of him, then her mouth curls.

“you got a haircut!”

“yup,” satoru pops, walking over to the two of you. he places a kiss on your forehead, ignoring your distraught face. “how do i look?”

“can i feel?” tsumiki asks, leaning up on her tiptoes to reach towards his head.

he leans down to accommodate her, grinning when she giggles at the feeling of his freshly shaved head. “it’s prickly.”

satoru wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her into a hug.

“a lot lighter too. what do you think, miki?”

“it’s pretty,” she’s still rubbing at his head, but satoru ignores the ticklish feeling. “are you going to keep it like this?”

“we’ll see,” satoru hums, looking to you. you’re still standing there, displeased.

tsumiki giggles and steps away, running back into the living room to continue doing whatever she was before he got home.

you don’t say anything, just stare at his head.

“do you like it?” he asks, leaning down until he’s inches away from you.

“why didn’t you say anything?”

“it’s a surprise. i was already out and i’ve been thinking about it…” his nose nudges yours but you don’t move. you’re basically a statue, just barely blinking at him. “and i didn’t think you were going to cry about my hair so—“

“i’m not crying.”

“are you sure?” satoru asks, leaning back with a pout. his hand lingers above your face, just brushing against your cheek. “look at those pretty eyes. already red.”

you slap it away. “i’m not crying over your hair. if i were crying,” you say, “which i’m not, it would be because of how ugly you are.”

“that’s just untrue.”

but satoru still pouts, his hand unconsciously going to rub at the bare skin by his nape. it’s a bit cold now.

you sigh. “why did you have to mess with your hair?”

“i didn’t realize it was my only appeal.”

you roll your eyes. “i just wished you’d have warned me. i expected a normal gojo to walk through the door—not a half bald one.”

“it’ll look the same when i take the blindfold off,” he argues. “and it’s not that much hair.”

“i can see your weird shaped head now,” your hand finally reaches up, grazing against his as you touch it. “why is it so soft?” you whisper, mostly to yourself.

satoru pouts again, though almost purring at the feeling of your hand. “so you don’t like it?”

you frown. then you ruffle the hair at the top of his head, still long as always.

“it’ll look the same with your glasses on?”

satoru rolls his eyes, despite himself, but nods.

“fine.”

“this is not the reaction i was expecting.”

you drop your hand, crossing your arms again. “and just what were you expecting?”

“oh, satoru, you’re so pretty,” he mocks, doing a terrible impression of your voice. “please send me a picture of your headshot. then sign it.”

you flick his forehead. “you don’t have a headshot, weirdo.”

satoru grins and pulls you in by your waist. it takes little effort and you don’t argue. “well, i’d take one if you asked.”

you roll your eyes again.

this then, satoru puts all his effort into his pout, frowning very seriously. “i didn’t think you’d be upset.”

“i just like your hair.”

“oh, it’s ruined now? you only care about my looks?”

you shrug. “probably. i mean, it’s not like your personality is doing anything.”

satoru scoffs, and you smile for the first time since he got home. “kidding,” you whisper, and kiss the bottom of his chin.

“i’ll never wear the blindfold around you, if you want.”

you sigh. “no. you’ll whine about it, and i’ll know anyway.”

“wow. you’re so supportive of me.”

“aren’t i?”

satoru shakes his head, but he smiles despite himself. you’ve never been the type to fond over him, or one to relent. honestly, he knows that just the fact that you’re letting him hold you is a good sign.

eventually, you shake your head at him. “i’ll get used to it, i guess.”

“oh great.”

“how long will it take to grow out?” you wonder, and you’re fully teasing now.

but before satoru can answer—with an appropriate snarky comment—megumi walks around the corner, holding a book in his hands.

“what’re you guys doing?” he asks, trying to look behind satoru to see if someone’s there.

“megumi,” satoru tilts his head at the boy. “do you like my hair?”

megumi gives him a once over, then frowns. “freak,” he mutters, and walks away.

and then later on you can’t stop staring at him because, um, wow. satoru will laugh at you once he realizes that your eyes are practically attached to him, making sure to mess with his hair every available second.

it’s the least he can do.

[redflagshipwriter]

Hot Ghouls in Your Area

Chapter 2

It was a very weird ride. Danny felt like he was an authority on uncomfortable and strange conversations, given his bizarre family and all the experiences he'd had: but it was exquisitely uncomfortable sitting next to his bride sacrifice and making conversation.

The guy didn't offer his name. He was- honestly, he was built. Danny tried not to get caught visually measuring how absurdly broad the guy's shoulders were. He was weirdly offended that the cultists had sent him someone who was more ripped than he was.

"What's that?" The guy prompted. Jason. This guy's name was Jason. It was a little hard to keep in mind given he didn't really look like a Jason. He looked like… The Red Biker 👻😱🩸 or some shit.

Danny mentally rewound his own babbling and brightened when he realized that there was at least some interest in NASA's newest telescope. He infodumped on rote. It genuinely was an interesting topic! But he'd told 3 people about it already so it didn't take all of his attention.

At one point, Jason pinched his middle finger and used the grip to pull off his glove. Danny swallowed. He tried not to stare at the first glimpse of skin. It was not super light or super dark– a little tanner than Danny, maybe. Not that that said much when he was living like a cave creature in a dorm room, trying to get the grades to be an astronaut.

'He's human,' Danny thought. Of course he was, he'd been sent from earth, but-

He just felt like a ghost.

The confusion put his hackles up. It was weird to perceive this guy as a possible threat. But he wasn't! He was just some hot dummy who got caught by friggin Jeremy Waters. Jeremy. Come on. It didn't get much sadder than that.

But overall? He could see why the Infinite Realms had gotten mixed up enough to accept this guy. Red was definitely weird enough to be a ghost, dressed up for the combination war front/biker bar/club. He hadn't made a move to take off his ugly motorcycle helmet the whole time they'd been talking. It was kind of creepy, to be honest.

The most disturbing part was that he smelled, like, really good. He smelled like sexy death and Danny kinda wanted to roll around in it like the world's most educated cat.

It was with some relief that Danny bounded away from his semi husband, up the stairs to Clockwork. "You know who it is and why I'm here!" He hollered, hands making a megaphone shape around his mouth. "Help me! I'm too young to be a child bride."

"Technically," Clockwork said, floating pleasantly into view, "you are too old to be a child bride. As you are not a child, Danny."

He waved that off. "I'm a kid on the inside," he dismissed. "And 19 is basically a high schooler."

"As you say." Clockwork drifted away. Danny followed. "How is your university coursework?"

"It's fine." Danny shrugged. "The Gen Eds are giving me war flashbacks to Mr. Lancer, though."

"You liked him," Clockwork said.

Danny bristled. "I did not!"

He kinda had. Mr. Lancer could have been a lot worse.

That was beside the point. Danny caught up to his ghost mentor. "I can't be distracted from this," he said, aiming for stern. "There's some human out there who wants to go home. I also want him to go home. How do we make that happen ?"

"Why Danny, have you forgotten about portals?"

Danny scowled. "You know what I mean," he groused. "I want to send him home single. Unattached. Not married to me at all."

Clockwork finally stopped moving and looked directly at him. His large eyes held only a kind of curiosity. "I suppose that you could banish him. That would have the effect of ending your relationship."

Danny hesitated. He'd learned that accepting suggestions on their face could go very badly. "That seems kinda harsh," he said. "Would there be any repercussions of that?"

Clockwork hummed from the back of his throat. "Yes, it would prevent young Jason from becoming a ghost when he passes again. Excuse me, I want that shelf behind you."

Danny moved out of the way on reflex before he processed those words. "That sounds bad."

The older ghost seemed to shrug. "The Ghost king can banish ghosts, and your paramour is ghostly enough to qualify. It would solve your current dilemma."

He deliberately chose not to respond to the word 'paramour.'

"I'm actually looking for a solution that doesn't interfere with the state of his soul and afterlife," Danny said dryly. Then he blinked. "You're really gonna call him Jason?"

Clockwork reached up and withdrew a metal object from the shelf. It clicked in his hand. "Indeed."

Danny waited for another divorce suggestion. When Clockwork didn't give one, he groaned. "How do I find another solution?" He asked, tired. This was another test, wasn't it? It was a chance for him to problem solve on his own.

That netted him a beaming smile. "You should take him to the royal library."

"And look for information about ghost divorces?" Danny asked. Clockwork gave him an enigmatic smile.

He chose to believe that was a yes. Danny patted his mentor's shoulder. "Thanks!" He shouted, already turning on his heel. "I'll do that. Have a good day!"

"Goodbye, Danny."

Jason hadn't moved at all, sitting weirdly tense and tall in the passenger seat. Danny gave him a nervous smile as he jumped in.

"Did you find out anything?" Jason asked. His voice was even enough to obscure whatever it was he thought, and the helmet made the words come out kinda flat and mechanical.

Danny winced. "Yes and no," he said, trying to find cheerful. "The first solution seems kinda bad, to be honest, so let's go to the library and look for another one!"

"...Ghosts have public libraries?" Jason said.

"No," Danny said. And then he frowned. "Maybe? I don't know. I haven't seen one but I haven't been here long. We're going to Pariah's creepy old castle to look at his library." He started up the Specter Speeder and took off. "It's big. And he was a real creep, so he probably had, uh." He cleared his throat. "Paramours." His face was getting hot and red. Maybe it wasn't obvious. He tried to look unaffected. "Probably why that ritual was out there," he babbled. Wow, the minutes separating their destinations felt very long when he was digging a verbal hole. "He probably had a lot of sacrifices he accepted, maybe that's where the skeleton army came from actually."

"Skeleton army?" Jason managed to sound incredulous through the world's ugliest motorcycle helmet. "How do ghosts and skeletons both exist in proximity?" He cleared his throat. "I mean, if you don't need the physical body to exist, why would anyone retain their corpse?"

Danny laughed nervously. "Yeah, that's weird," he agreed.

'Don't ask me afterlife questions,' he mentally begged. 'I just work here. I don't know the answers.'

"Metaphysically-"

"Do you like sports?" Danny interrupted in a high voice.

Jason paused. "No. Do you?"

"...Not really," Danny admitted, thinking of getting ganged up on in dodgeball and knocked down in basketball.

They existed in what felt like a confused silence for a few minutes. Danny parked the Speeder outside of the castle and I clicked his seatbelt with a rush of relief. "We're here," he said. He threw open the top.

Jason didn't move from where he was flat against the backrest, only lifting his head. "... Should I come too?"

Danny blinked down at him and waved a hand in invitation. "Yeah, let's go. This is kinda my place now so I can invite you in."

Jason moved forward abruptly, like he'd just gotten unstuck from the seat. Something about it looked wrong to his hindbrain. But Danny dismissed it and started off at a jog. It wasn't his business if Jason was a weird little guy. (Weird big guy? It didn't sound the same, but Jason wasn't petite.)

Jason paused on the battlements. Danny looked back and tried to see it from his perspective. The architecture was jagged, pitch black, and without any of the friendly colorful touches a castle should have. "It's kind of creepy," he said apologetically. "Pariah has just the worst vibe. Rancid energy."

"...Is it smart to say that?" Jason wondered. He started walking again.

Danny shrugged. "What's he gonna do to me?" He asked rhetorically. "Get his butt kicked again?"

[suiana]

yo i saw ur rb && feel free to write about the renting concept!!! if u do pls tag me i’d love to see <33 😋

😻😻 rhanks genie

(yandere! rental boyfriend x gn! reader) (shitpost kinda) (concept based on this post)

you know, it's not like you were ugly, dumb or poor. in fact, you consider yourself rather attractive, smart and quite rich. but it seems that no one has noticed that which... might've been why you were single for a very long period of time.

very meaning from when you were born up until recently.

you had always desired for a relationship. wanting to experience the joys of love, the romance, the contentment you get whenever you're with that special someone.

unfortunately you never got to experience that. never. even after putting down your dignity and renting a boyfriend.

you had rented a rather pretty looking guy from this... dodgy website called 'rent-a-darling'? was that the name? it probably is. what a weird website it's called. anyways, it was basically a rental boyfriend/girlfriend website and you had absolutely struck gold with it.

perfect face, perfect body, incredibly intelligent... he was basically a work of art. and his personality wasn't half that bad either! he cracked jokes and they were entertaining enough! he made you laugh, feel better about your miserable love life...

but he just wasn't it.

so you decided to end contact with him. there was no point in continuing that rental service anyways. it's not like he'd like you back even if you fell for him.

except that was exactly what happened?? a few days after you officially ended your contact with your absolute god of a rental boyfriend, he showed up at your doorstep, panting as a lovesick look paints his beautiful features.

you were concerned to say the least. after all, you had never seen him act in such a way before. which was why you allowed him in... which led you to your current situation which was far from ideal.

"could you let me go please? my arms are sore..."

"you know, you're really cute like this."

you merely sigh in response, looking away as you grow awkward under his obsessed gaze. this has been the fifth day since he tied you up, only allowing you to leave the bed for meals and the toilet.

and in those five days he's openly admitted to be in love with you.

while it was nice and endearing to hear such words, you only wish it was from someone you actually loved back. and maybe not as crazy as this guy was.

"can you please let me go? do you want money or something? i can give it to you-"

"what i want is your love, and that cannot be bought with money."

he interjects promptly, still smiling at you with his pearly white teeth which were honestly starting to creep you out. why were they so white? why was he so objectively perfect? and why was he madly obsessed with you?

"hey can i just ask something? why are you so obsessed? like just why."

he pauses for a second, hummung contently as he shuts his eyes for a bit.

"I'm not sure why,"

his eyes open again and he continues his sentence. this time, you can't help but feel an impending sense of dread in your gut when he speaks.

"i guess i just really adore you."

he then giggles oddly, tugging at your bedsheets as his face nears yours.

"you complete me, my love."

you grimace as his face nears yours. ugh, what you wanted was that lovey dovey shit you saw on television. not whatever this was. kidnapping and constant moans of how your captor loves you.

but oh well, it is a relationship. just not the one you wanted. maybe you could learn to deal with it-

"darling! if you tell me how much you love me, block everyone else you know, leave your job, and promise to run away with me, I'll untie you! how about it?"

...yeah, you're not dealing with this. perhaps you're just not meant for love.