#i dont NEED it but sometimes i kinda really do
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Something about...(Jinx x fem reader)
(NSFW mentioned!)
Men and minors dni
something about Jinx having a gamer girlfriend (modern au?) (first post kinda nervous)
warnings: fingering, teasing, grinding
have been thinking about this one all the time bcs imagine her just sitting on your lap and watching you game (i need her)
sfw
- as shes a really touchy person, I can picture her coming home to your shared place, noticing you sitting on your PC and immediately making herself at home on your lap if she just wants to be close to you
- of course, youre used to it already, wrapping her arms around her waist while holding her close and still trying to play your game properly
- if youre not in a discord call, she would lightly push off your headset so that you can properly hear her rant about her day, talking about all the things she did and what annoyed her (she would do the same even if youre on a call)
- if youre not a PC but rather console player, she also enjoys you spooning her, Jinx resting on your chest while youre arms are wrapped around her waist, holding her close to you as she watches you play any game
- would probably like to play them herself sometimes but dont expect her to not fuck things up, if she can blow something up, she would do it without hesitation (i can picture her being an absolute menace in RDR2)
- she actually loves it when you rant about your game and if its one she finds interesting herself, she would 100% try them out
- loves asking questions about it just to hear you yap
- also loves it when youre resting between her thighs or when shes spooning you, watching you play and cheer you on while fighting a boss fight (if you win, she would give you a kiss or squeeze you like a plushie while saying "thats my girl" or just praising you somehow)
nsfw
- if shes feeling very needy while sitting on your lap, she doesnt even look at your game, not caring if youre on a call in discord or playing games that you cant simply pause like Valorant
- she would start to kiss your neck, sucking on the skin and leaving hickeys while youre trying your hardest to concentrate on the game and be quiet so that your teammates wont hear you
- her fingers would 'magically' slip underneath your shirt, especially while youre in a fight and it would get harder and harder for you to concentrate as her hand would roam over your sensitive stomach, finding your breast and squeezing the flesh or teasing your nipples
- "Whats wrong? Youre acting so strange, toots" She would say, her lips wandering lower as she would lock her pink shimmer eyes on your face, noticing how youre trying to hold back any sounds or curses
- if you mute yourself on call to try and talk to her, she would either play dumb "im not even doing anything, is it a crime to touch my pretty girl?" or she would say "youre muted, they cant hear you anyways, just wanna feel you right now"
- she would easily slip herself between your legs after lightly grinding your thigh, kneeling down infront of you and undoing your pants, fingers coated in your wetness as she began to fuck you with them ("such a pretty and wet pussy, all for me?" "And I barely even did anything yet")
- she would tease you, hearing you moan out her name or wanting to chase after the pleasure she gives you while moving your hips, she would definitely say things like "look at you toots, enjoying me fucking you like this"
- if she made you lose your focus that much that you lost the game but still managed to make you cum, the blue haired girl would apologize and maybe even feel a tiny bit guilt, making it up to you by just sitting on your lap and being pretty (not without leaving hickeys)
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND REQUEST I WANNA WRITE MORE AND IMPROVE OMG (this sucks ass)
#jinx x fem!reader#arcane x reader#arcane#jinx arcane#jinx#jinx league of legends#jinx x y/n#jinx x reader#i need her#league of legends#wlw post#wlw yearning
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how does logan feel about short girls
Okay as a tall girlie this was tricky to make not sound silly (even tho it probably, looking back over it, it sound a little cliche??)
But Ohhhh he would absolutely love them!
I stand by the fact that logan, under all that gruff and grumpy exterior, is a sweetheart. He is a lover, even if sometimes he struggles with emotions or is sometimes scared of it, he loves so deeply and truly. So i, personally, view him a someone who doesnt really care for appearance. He just cares how kind someone is, if their heart is three times bigger than the world deserves.
Therefore, i do gotta say for this specifically, im feeling very early logan?? (Shock horror) The X1-2, fluffy cat hair and cosy clothes kinda vibe? Meaning He'd still love you if you were shorter, but hes loving you in the little shit (affectionate) way.
Hes standing beside you and gently (hardly even touching) resting an arm on your head or shoulder.
Hes asking how the weather is all the way down there (honestly you're not even that short- its ridiculous)
He's calling you short stack, pipsqueak or toots in conversation, careless to the little daggers your eyes glare at him. This however, does give you a valid excuse to call him kitty back tho!!
He's even, and this is we're he's a real lil shit, listening to you walking to the kitchen from down the hall and purposely placing something you're going to need higher up.. The thing is though, hes timing it so he's the only one around when it happens!! Its "A complete mystery that one bub, must be hank...or Scott.. You know, s' Probably Scott." if you then question him about how its always him around to help when this happens!!
I mean, Its not like he does it so you do that cute little stompy huff and ask him to grab it?? because why in the hells would he do that?? (And also bc god forbid you try to climb on the counters-)
He also take great amusement when you try borrow his shirts/hoodies. They dont just sit oversized.. Oh no, they fully swamp you; but at least they are the peak of comfort. Just.. Dont try on his sweats, odds are you'll break a leg from the amount of drag behind you..
#carbonrambles#carbonasksforasks#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine fluff#logan fluff#wolverine x reader#logan wolverine#logan#logan howlett fluff
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In whump i always find the need for there to be some big breakdown or the whumpee telling the caretaker everything bad that has happened, and seeing the caretaker's reactions and im pretty sure that is because I want to be able to have people feel sorry for me and i want to have a big breakdown, but i really just cant
(And being a legend fan means that it almost never happens in his whump fics, lol)
#vent???#like ill read it and ill gobble the whump up either way and some of the real good stuff doesnt have that#but sometimes i just dont feel satysfied with it without everything tipping over first#and i know that is just a me thing rather than the fic being not good because it can be SUPER good without it and one of my favorites#i dont NEED it but sometimes i kinda really do#idk what im saying :/
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#summit war saga#ch553#ft. luffy#ft. zoro#ft. nami#ft. usopp#ft. chopper#ft. robin#ft. franky#ft. brook#thinking abt that one blog that is kinda going around rn does it hate/love women or whatever#and even tho as of queueing this i havent seen op on there i dont think you could do a hard and fast yes or no for op#since i think there are a number of women that are loved by the series and oda does actually give women diverse body types#and not all of the good women are stereotypically attractive (lola and charlotte come to mind whenever i think about this)#and a lot of the women do have established goals and wants and needs that are validated through the narrative#even pudding is a well written character tbh <- needs to reread wci dont ask me to go into details quite yet#but then you look at some of the other character designs. and how some characters do just fall flat#or arent well written. given that its such a long series though that is so expected and it holds up a lot better than say...#naruto. or bleach. in this regard but i wish we did get more fights with nami and robin sometimes u know.#i do really enjoy the ones we get and i'm excited to get back to wano for robin's fight with black maria#bc i did see some screencaps from that and ik fights arent the only thing to showcase a character's worth#but this is a shounen series so to some extent fights are a staple of the genre.#idk where im going with this its 10pm for me and i'm very tired t-t#i'm so lighthoused out. and they're redoing the roof on my house this week which is so augh
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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yooo i haven't done any fun makeup in forever❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️
#def not the kinda thing im used to doing but god i havent played around in so long i needed it yk....#sometimes a gal just has to do her makeup and hair at 12 am just to feel a little joyful 💔#anyway im really not used to seeing myself w this type of eye makeup 🧍♀️#its kinda cute tho i think but we're not gonna talk abt the crease.....i tried my best 🫡#also please for the love of god dont zoom in too much i noticed there's a fucking rogue hair on my forehead. wtf EMBARRASSING#my face
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[pacing] no but actually what did they put in close wars maul to make him so hot like what was that
#like the answer is passion obviously (and sam witwer voice) but it still makes me climb the walls lol#like its genuinely insane to me watching the maul episodes like i said this to my friends bu like#everything with him feels so indulgent#the animation the expresions the voice acting the delivery the Everything#like it feels like these peopel are just as excited to show us him#idk jsut like AUGH. AUGH [GNAWS ON THE BARS OF MY CAGE]#its interesting how like...hmmm how do i phrase this#i love rex more- obviously. but in the back of my mind with his animation im lwys kinda sitting here like#'you do not look 20-26 like ur supposed to man' and like dont get me wrong. still hot (though without the helmet mayb like post s3 ehehe)#(side note rex is just as hot with the helmet. sometimes hotter. sometmes the other way around but like. sometimes hotter. im right)#still [stares at him carnally] but i think the him in my minds eye simulatneously looks like show him but a little younger looking lol#whilst i dont have that caveat with maul i need no compartmentalisation (however small)#so instead i just watch like eeeoeuouoguhouogeuouuhh#(which to be fair i do with rex too but maul is in a lot less episodes so they really drive him in. so it feels like big induglent treat)#luke rambles#god im gonna tag this for archival purposes but ik this'll end up in the tgs KGDNSGJSGDS ah well#sw#tcw#maul#i will also say specifically tcw maul like rebels maul is fine but he loses a lot of his cuntiness and eatability persoanlly#which is fine its mostly the rebels animations fault lbr
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been real cloudy here, without any rain
#halfway thru this i realized i was drawing myself and not gumi and i had to take a moment and re-gumi-fy the drawing#cant help being a gumi kinnie i guess U_U#dnoodles#vocaloid#i guess? idk i dont think a lot of people will reblog this. i actually kinda hope not.#hello dear followers#yea wow i have um. not been drawing at all lately.#not even simple doodles. i couldnt even pick up a pen.#so i sat down. turned on my favorite music. and drew what i wanted.#not what i wanted to see as the result#but what i wanted to let out of my system.#i dont really care if this looks good or bad. i dont care how messy the lines are. i dont care about the colors or the background#i just wanted to have a good time drawing again. and have a good time i did :)#i have a big drawing ahead of me i need to do. that i Want to do.#im scared of it not turning out good. especially since its for a friend. especially since im being paid for it.#but. im gonna let myself enjoy it. sink into the feeling and let the pen move on its own. indulge in the joy of creation.#i missed art. i missed posting.#sometimes i think about how i was able to crank out so many drawings in high school.#not without extreme determent to my grades of course. but still. i was drawing So Much. and i utterly loved it.#i still wish i could go back to that. perhaps i will. perhaps i wont.#but i want to let that wish go away. and. i guess. start a new chapter.#reinvent my relationship with art.#its going to be bad. its going to be messy. its going to hurt your eyes. and its going to be fun.#WOW okay that was an essay. thank you for reading.#im gonna go eat something and. actually get back to drawing. hehe
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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There is something that I can’t understand and will never understand about fandom “culture”
Why EVERYTHING (or a lot of things) need to be canon or acknowledged by the actors/directors/producers to be accepted by the fandom? In specific ships?
And why when a “ship” (two characters, really) have more screentime than others/other characters aren’t in the picture anymore, people take that as a victory as see their ship as more valid and “actually canon”? And mock/harass others for it?
Also there is this thing people have been doing a lot too: Thats calling everyone that doesn’t like the ship you like names (and also calling them terms that before actually meant something awful but nowadays can be said for simply tagging the incorrect ship in a fucking post)
Canon isn’t always the norm here kid. At least when it relates to ships and scenarios. (Bc if we’re talking about characterization… yes it needs to be canon in a sense or we’re writing/making ocs out of canon characters)
Most of the more popular ships will never be canon and have never been, especially the gay ones. (See Drarry, Narusasu, Frodo/Sam, Johnlock, etc, etc)
So why suddenly we care so much about what NEEDS to be canon or not?
Why people NEED to see their ships be canon so badly?
Sure, I can be seen as a hypocrite because Ive been talking about Stucky a lot in the canon and what happened in EG, but they actually did that themselves. The directors talked about gay characters, the actors talked about Stucky. So actually it isn’t something ludicrous or anything. (I’ve never thought they would actually make the ship canon -bc that would be a big problem for them “how can you make Cap America gay!” And shit- but I thought they would at least make them still be friends or friendly or acknowledge the “bromance” and they just killed the friendship in one scene with the most ooc shit ever). In fact, I’m more annoyed by that. They assassinated Steve’s character and Bucky’s progress.
Nevermind…
Why people fight so much about ships and use terms that shouldn’t be brought into stupid shit like this?
Fandoms are supposed to be fun and to have discussions (in good faith) about the canon. What we like and what we don’t like about it.
Besides, a lot of current media are about stuff that’s been remade over and over again. So they have a lot of adaptations and you can pick and choose too, if you want.
And if you don’t like the canon? Easy! Do analysis, criticize it, write fics, do fanart, do creative shit or simply ignore it! No one is forcing you to keep on watching the show or the stuff you now hate/cant stand. That’s what Im doing at least.
Sure, I criticize some people and movies a lot and get actually annoyed by the disrespect towards/assassination of some characters, but at the end of the day I can only shrug and say “it is what it is” and leave it at that. (Meaning not giving them money for the new stuff/not watching nor caring about it and only acknowledging the old things I actually care about and like)
But I don’t insult or disrespect other people in fandom because of it. And also I don’t harass the directors or actors either, ffs.
Idk, Ive always been on the sidelines of the stuff I follow, I’ve never been on the thick of fandoms so maybe thats why I don’t understand.
And I’ve also not seen so many crazy shit (the most crazy stuff Ive seen is people calling others racists for tagging a ship incorrectly and also others inflating the tag of a ship in ao3 so their ship would be “the most popular” with most fics, in that fandom) because I actually curate what I see. I don’t like a ship? I mute, if I can’t stand a person or a ship? I block em. Simple and easy.
I’ve always drawn stuff for myself, read fics and made headcanons. Only recently I’ve been sharing stuff more openly, so maybe it’s that.
Idk.
I’m just tired of seeing discourse and people fighting over this stuff.
#kinda personal#im really tired pf people fighting over ships#also the inflating of the tag in ao3 was a big problem bc most of those supposed works were a phrase written over and over again#it was the most petty pathetic shit ive seen#you like a ship? good do a fic or write headcanons#you dont like that another ship is more popular than your otp/the ship you like? DO MORE FICS OR ARTWORK OF IT#also… like in canon MCU Nat and Bruce were together kinda#but in some comics Nat is with Bucky#and so on and so forth#So a lot of ships can be canon in different media#Steve was supposed to be with Sharon but they didn’t flesh the ship and then used Peggy to stop us from shipping Stucky#in Mcu#But that will discourage me from shipping what I like? No.#my shipping tastes don’t depend on canon#im very particular in the ships I read content sometimes…#particular in the sense that I take a character and ship it with a lot of others#lmao#you can see me liking canon ships and then the most random ship in the same series/movie#Like Blaise Zabini x Harry Potter my beloved#or sometimes crossovers bc sometimes I need to read that shit#Jasper Withlock x Harry my other beloved#but how I said I don’t understand the need to fight or shame/antagonize others#and welp sometimes the fandom makes me despise or avoid a ship too bc of how they actually write and interact with em#like I see that ship tagged? not going to interect bye#and I leave it as that#simple and easy
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I can't believe there's people watching qsmp who hear the Spanish speakers and just go "well i don't know Spanish and there's nothing i can do about that. Guess I'll never know what they say". When Tahlulla said "then learn" cause quackity said he didn't speak Spanish, that was at y'all. If you can watch a 6 hour stream you can download doulingo and do a 5 minute Spanish lesson.
#not to be agressive but#genuinely those who dont try to learn are actually missing out on So Much Content#qsmp#learning Spanish#even just bits where the translation fucks up. like during charlies violence arc yhe translation randomly said. Bucket#and its cause he was saying fuck it fuck it fuck it so it translated that into cangilón#i barely know spanish and even then i can manage to parse out what at least some of them are saying you dont need much#hell even just tune into a foolish stream cause hes actually been doing spanish lessons with leo and hes picking it up really well#and he says all of his thoughts on how or why parts of the language are how they are which kinda helps to understand it#like hes wrong sometimes very much so but its really really cool to judt sit and listen to a guy figure out how to speak another language#i played it while cooking the other day and when he would ask a question i also had id ask my roommate whos fluent#and just asking questions helps to learn.#sorry for the ramble im just fed up with the mentality that some foøks have with the spanish speakers#yes the translator is fucking rad but it doesnt catch everything and its kinda nicer to catch it as its spoken you know#leadning a new language is only hard at first. its very easy to become obsessed with understanding it
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ok hot take: arti is NOT balanced. specifically her combat. not in an overpowered way, but the opposite. she's not strong enough for combat against scavengers. arti has ZERO abilities to resist spears outside of the parry, which requires timing and honestly quite impressive reaction speed. ("just turn the game speed down!" some people cant play with the speed lowered! (me) ive been playing since before downpour and ive NEVER used the mushrooms so im USED to this speed. turning it down throws me off so much that id die MORE) sure, she can resist explosives somewhat, she wont die to them, but she still gets stunned anyways. so who cares if shes immune to death from explosives when she cant do anything PASSIVELY about spears, the thing that matters. you survive a grenade, but then you get stabbed in the head a second later and die anyways. scavengers weren't designed to be fought. they have a reputation system for a reason. they're the sort of creature you dont fuck with because they WILL fuck your shit up beyond belief. arti goes against all of that. and shes not strong enough to. she doesn't have resistences to what MATTERS. fighting large groups can be near impossible sometimes. and sure, you can avoid those most times, but you physically cannot in metro. you HAVE to fight them at least SOMEWHAT to even get through.
i understand how people can like arti. but the problem is she's simply not strong enough. i understand that rain world is MEANT to be difficult, but arti takes it too far imo. she's difficult into unfairness. sure, losing karma doesn't matter. but doing the same thing again and again and again just... is terrible. even if you take a different route. i took different routes almost every other time i died while playing arti. i still got sick of dying. i was so relieved when i beat it. i never plan on playing her again. she brought me genuine, terrible stress. she killed my drive to want to play rain world for a while; the thought of just opening it stressed me out. games are meant to be fun. i can understand how arti could be, but she just isnt to me. she's not fun. she will never be fun for me without significant altering. and even then, i highly doubt i could ever bring myself to play her again. just looking at her select screen art makes me anxious.
#i want to emphasise that i dont care if ppl do enjoy arti. im glad. i have nothing against ppl who enjoyed her campaign#its just.. i wish i knew people who had the same experience as i did#''get the arti revives on kill mod!'' i have it. ive had it the entire time . i have it set to the max time it will let me set it to.#it barely helped#sorry that this turned into more of a vent i just . really needed to get this out .#ive always struggled with feeling like im bad at games and will never get better and just .#seeing everyone else LOVE arti's campaign just... has made that so much worse.#i love arti as a character . i really do.#i think her campaign has potential. but its not executed well .#i WANTED to like it. i TRIED to like it. i cant.#i both understand how people could and dont understand at the same time.#how can you guys cope with doing the same thing 60 times in a row? does it not stress you out? does it not get boring?#do you not get sick of it? i dont get it#i just ... want to feel good at something.#i felt somewhat good at rain world for a while . i still do sometimes . but then i remember arti. and i feel like an outlier again .#lev.txt#hyperfixation.txt#vent#<- kinda#rain world#long post#<- somewhat . idk
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OKAY RANT ON VIVZIEPOP SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT CARE
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I like Viv as an artist, shes inspired me since frickin middleschool with her animations, character designs, and now 2 shows holy crap. I just really wish she'd get off social media for her own mental health cuz good god it's not great to see a whole thread of tweets arguing with someone about the dislike of fanfiction having homophobic undertones its just... agdhdh Viv is a pretty controversial person due to unfortunate past events and having shows that present some darker subject matter. Honestly? I want to see Viv not just move past the previous controversy, but learn from it to be better. Its totally fair tho if you think the handling of certain topics arent done well, there are things people will have preference over. And I dont give a fuck about shipping, I dont wanna see it, frankly. If you're doin somethin shady with it and I see it I'm certainly not going to like it and I'll do my best to not interact with you, but I think we should make tagging things just a common thing? Keeps things organized and people can intake what they want while the stuff they dont want is not being shown to them. Same goes with headcanons they're someone imagining something, they arent holding the creators hostage to make it canon. Canon is silly anyways! Both the OG and a headcanon can exist because AUs and headcanons are just another version of the thing. Headcanons arent going to change the episodes, they'll still be the same way the creators made it. So like... chill.
Just as long as it has no mental or physical negative implications or intent against actual living people I will add.
Dont harrass actors because they play a villian you need to separate fiction and reality it's literally their job to pretend to be someone else.
#vivziepop#vivzipop critical#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#it sucks to see someone i looked up to seemingly keep stirring the controversy pot#the shows arent for everyone#things arent always going to be appealing to everyone and thats ok#i think viv needs to let go the fact some people do not like her or her shows instead of fighting people for a whole thread#im embarrassed to say im a fan of these shows???#and dont get me wrong i think they kinda suck sometimes and the writing inconsistancy makes me so so frustrated#but there are a few moments where i really feel connected to their struggles#loneliness and a fear of rejection are something i empathize with a lot#im frustrated because of what these shows COULD be#and how happy it makes me to see these shows be enjoyed so much because tbh everything about it is full of things we are told#is bad and weird and cringe and something real proffesionals would never respect#and they made it! it lets me know if im passionate enough people like me can do what we love and still be successful#i hope for many other passion projects from artists in the future who may be inspired by not just Vivzie but the tons of indie stuff out rn#crowmancerx#idk just a rant#i do want to lay out at some point my many issues with the writing of Vivz's shows but ill holdoff on big rants for a bit#agsudvdhdb#its been a rough day at school
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morals are so confusing sometimes. it's not like i'm trying to do anything malicious, it just doesn't occur to me that most people see these things as bad — to me, some things are just kind of a means to an end and if nobody gets genuinely hurt idrc ??
if i let someone borrow something and they're not giving it back, i don't really see anything wrong with telling a lie about the importance of that item to guilt trip someone into giving it back (eg, so & so gave this to me before they died & it's rlly important to me so i really would appreciate it if i got this back soon ...). not because i want to go outta my way to make someone feel bad, but that's just how i view the world. they are probably maliciously keeping my stuff, so just talking to them wouldn't be enough. so why shouldn't i?
i don't see an issue in hacking into my parents email so i can get the verification code for a family streaming service, it takes me a really long time for it to click that actually People Don't Like Someone Going Thru Their Private Stuff even though i'm not trying to find anything but the verification email
type of things that i don't really realise could genuinely upset someone until i think about it a lot and ask someone for their opinion. i could realistically just ask and communicate better, but i often fall into the pit on never relying on anybody to do something when i put a task in their hands. that will only end up hurting or disappointing me.
oftentimes in trying to watch my own back and keep myself safe from nonexistent problems, i somehow create them
#i think it also doesn't help that i have low empathy so if someone told me they needed something back bcs that was a familys dying gift#i wouldn't. care. or feel bad or anything. i'd just cognitively acknowledge “they rlly want their thing back” & give it back but not bcs i#feel anything#so i'd assume eeeeveryone else would be the same. sometimes ppl tell me they feel terrible for someone or something & i genuinely think they#are joking#so on that note i feel like nobody would actually feel remorse or guilty over me like i wouldnt with them. just note that it's smth of vague#urgency#crazy how much trauma and reinforced experiences can make you feel like an absolute alien to human experiences and cohesion#the npd Being Really Strict About My Personal Morals And Crashing If I Fail vs the “oh shit that's a BAD thing ??”#i dont think these examples are too serious (but i also have a biss lmfao) but it's definitely a recurring theme#cluster b#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#maybe autism too ? can this also be related to autism ?#autism#does this count as a vent?#i dont feel emotionally abt this at all. it's just an observation since i do treat my personal/main tumblr blog as kinda a diary at times#just in case#vent
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The way some fics will throw in "my dears" and "my darlings" from old men makes me think of like old ladies in wigs playing the characters hahaha the most unsexual pet names id rather hear "dude" and cowabunga tbqh
#i think its bc i talk like a hmm idk how to say it#i say dude man and bro a lot#im like. a little surfer/stoner bro but if they were a nerdy accountant#hahahaa;#god any way i just#darling is such like a. makes me think of like an old lady in a boa#and i like and want to fuck women but not really diva types#man. sorry. its so early and im like not doing good#hashtag sick#i guess it kinda reminds me of nathan lane frkm bird age too#and thats just so far from someone id be into. opposite of a butch#im into bro-y butches or men i can think of that way i thunj. were discovering stuff this saturday morning#ive been up since 6#i wish i could sleep more but alas#regan is asleep too so. im alone in the mouse zone#i need a cat who can stand guard when regans asleep#otherwise im helpless#you know. if i got a cat id still be bottom of the pecking order in my household#do you think lifes worth living be honest tag reader#sometimes i really dont but#theres this perfume that gets advertised to me on instagram called ffern or f.fern and their ads are so beautiful#like snippets of memories#is it maybe sad to anguish in what couldve been and whats out there instead of living inside my life?#im just so. idk. sad. scared.#id go for a walk today tbh if i wasnt scared of the 25 mph winds#i wish i walked more#also i bought my dad a sweatshirt that matches a shirt i bought#hehe got his asss!!!! pranked!!!!!!!#whoops forgot my yap tag and this was a yap cat 5#em yaps
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