#not what i wanted to see as the result
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been real cloudy here, without any rain
#halfway thru this i realized i was drawing myself and not gumi and i had to take a moment and re-gumi-fy the drawing#cant help being a gumi kinnie i guess U_U#dnoodles#vocaloid#i guess? idk i dont think a lot of people will reblog this. i actually kinda hope not.#hello dear followers#yea wow i have um. not been drawing at all lately.#not even simple doodles. i couldnt even pick up a pen.#so i sat down. turned on my favorite music. and drew what i wanted.#not what i wanted to see as the result#but what i wanted to let out of my system.#i dont really care if this looks good or bad. i dont care how messy the lines are. i dont care about the colors or the background#i just wanted to have a good time drawing again. and have a good time i did :)#i have a big drawing ahead of me i need to do. that i Want to do.#im scared of it not turning out good. especially since its for a friend. especially since im being paid for it.#but. im gonna let myself enjoy it. sink into the feeling and let the pen move on its own. indulge in the joy of creation.#i missed art. i missed posting.#sometimes i think about how i was able to crank out so many drawings in high school.#not without extreme determent to my grades of course. but still. i was drawing So Much. and i utterly loved it.#i still wish i could go back to that. perhaps i will. perhaps i wont.#but i want to let that wish go away. and. i guess. start a new chapter.#reinvent my relationship with art.#its going to be bad. its going to be messy. its going to hurt your eyes. and its going to be fun.#WOW okay that was an essay. thank you for reading.#im gonna go eat something and. actually get back to drawing. hehe
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5
The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )
#mlp#my little pony#mlp infection au#mlp infection#twilight sparkle#Sorry for leaving the ending open ended but I genuinely couldnt decide on just one way for things to turn out and I liked the idea of#leaving it open the most#in my mind sunset's final message is like we found a recording from the later days of the infection and we dont know what happened in the#end because the recordings stopped/ended#In any case I think they were able to put twilight and the others to rest#but who knows who survived the “final battle” and who didnt#also yes Twilight created harmony syndrome but not on purpose lol#it was the result of her botched attempt to create a spell that makes ponies immortal#obviously it backfired lol#and the irony is that twilight ends up dying before any of her friends#if they didnt want me writing my little pony horse tragedy they shouldnt have left mlpfim off on the note that all of twilight's friends#were growing old without her#ending thats been haunting me for five years#if anyones seeing this this is an open au btw so feel free to adopt any of the ideas if you like! : )#tw thanatophobia#thanatophobia
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fire cannot kill a dragon BITCH
#a song of ice and fire#game of thrones#asoiaf#got#mine.png#i have no clue what dany era this is i just wanted to see if i could get down how i think book dany looks just like. in general#results are inconclusive#also ive been doing like exclusively multimedia w either sketching or doing full colored pencil first and then taking a picture#on portrait mode ☝🏻#and finishing the rest in procreate so if things look weird thats like#why#im figuring stuff out lmao#and like! where ae the highlights on her coming from?? idk but surely not that fire#daenerys targaryen#adding tags bc my tags are my safe space and if ur reading them then. ur in this with me i locked the door i secured the chains..#just realized that lowkey with how daenerys is described as being just like#ethereally pretty as per the targ pretty gene#i sort of picture her face as like#one of those insanely pretty girls u see on tiktok and they just like naturally have a disney princess face#no makeup bc their skin is perfect and their lashes are naturally super thick and long#thats dany to me#this face ate an entire raw horse heart <3
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OK JUST A LITTLE THING BECAUSE IM INSANE @cubbihue
Song: Plastic by Cheekface
#IDENTITY HORROR MY BELOVED#I want to watch him fall apart#I need him to explode#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#animation#animatic#art#digital art#fanart#body horror#I sent in an anon ask a bit ago about Chimmy being able to accidentally destroy himself if he realized what he was#and that idea makes me so so so crazy#The slow dawning horror that you arent yourself#followed by the horrific deterioration of your body as a direct result of your knowlege#like a punishment you cant undo#a horrible cycle of falling to pieces reinforcing this horrific reality and that horrific reality tearing you to pieces#you know now. you cant go back even if you want to#and the visual symbolism body horror of literally falling into pieces. AGHGhgh he's hollow in there just so you know#He could stick his whole arm in and not reach the back of his skull its just a dark pit completely hollow and unnatural#I like to think if you looked deep enough you could see stars#AUGHGH STRIPPING CHARACTERS OF THEIR HUMANITY MY BELOVED#removing even their basest comforts. Even their body isnt familiar to them anymore#Its this strange horrifying thing. What will it do next? Was it ever theirs? Should they be afraid?#and in my hands the answer will always be yes#Sorry Im going insane I love your au#I like characters who cling on to humanity that can never be theirs ♥
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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oh look at jim's nice lipstick! oh wait why is it smudged. oh waiiiit why are spock's lips so pink. ohhhh what could possibly have caused this i wonder...
bones' hoodie isn't even his LMAO he nicked it from one of his roommate's hookups who forgot their jacket. his roommate locked him out of his dorm (another hookup. really.) and bones has ten thousand goddamn assignments due the next few days so he's just camping out next to the biggest party for the weekend for the lighting and the free food. insanely stressed and dressed in as many layers as it takes for him not to get cold trying to sit still and get shit done on a mid-spring friday night. and i just think it would be so fucking funny if spirk (both with a HELL of a reputation™) sees this sleep-deprived palpably anxious dressed like a middle-aged college professor med student and is instantly like. man. i NEED more of that guy. like wouldnt that be so funny. anyways
yeah im obsessed with this au in particular what about it <3333 idc
#star trek#star trek aos#star trek fanart#aos#spirk#spirk fanart#mcspirk fanart#mcspirk#spones#mckirk#dust trek aus#leonard mccoy#spock#bones mccoy#jim kirk#as always my sense of humor is scuffed as hell and idgaf i draw what i want to see and i want to see them being silly#ALSO @THE RESULTS OF MY FOLLOWER POLL#HELLO nearly 70% of yall who are fellow bones enjoyers (and rightfully so) i love you all and you are so correct#to the other 30% I ALSO LOVE YALL AND YOU ARE ALSO CORRECT#i was just curious if bones enjoyers share characterisation headcanons btw!! And turns out we probably somewhat do#that option did get the most votes after all lol#to quote some charming pointy eared guy with a bowl cut: FASCINATING#mcspirk fruity starfleet academy au
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"How do you live like this? Why keep going?" " Well, one good question deserves another. Why the f*ck am I doing all the work?
#fallout#the ghoul#cooper howard#lucy maclean#ghoulcy#fallout prime#fallout tv#fallouttvgifs#the irony of him having her do this after seeing the result of what she did to wilziq#like i can imagine him finding it MORBIDLY HILARIOUS in his head#as walton said he wants to “poke” at her
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fantasy au scribbles!!
#ft. bardaby and wall beefing <3#ok yeah im just gonna call possessed wally wall.#cause yk. homes. home. walls. wall.#the alternative options were like. walome. holly. etc. bad options#In My Mind that scribble is the result of barnaby's first time seeing home possess wally#he did not know home could do that! they'd already had a very stressful and bad few months!#both of them were at their limits and were ready to Start Biting!#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#wh au#welcome home au#anyway yeah i gave howdy a lil ponytail. what about it#and his lil magic bullet bandolier <3#ALSO DRAWING THE PUPPETS WITH TEETH IS FUN BUT ALSO VERY STRANGE#I AM NOT USED TO SHOVING CHOMPERS IN THEIR FACES#but in this au they're Real Fleshy Beings so. they need teeth i guess#ok i just wanted to give them teeth in a way that my brain allowed#still very unwell about this lil au btw#my little imaginings have been keeping me going lately#my favorite plotlines at present are bardaby-home bonding / wally & home are separated / ocean adventures / disembowelment <3#fun things all around!
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Billy definitely thinks about random things during fights and decides the internet needs to know immediately
#billy batson#ACAB!Billy Batson#Billy batson says acab#dc captain marvel#dick grayson#nightwing#Jason todd#red hood#dc comics#justice league#The resulting chaos from redhood and marvel team ups stress everyone out#Batman: would you like to explain why hood left a demon head in the trunk of the Batmobile#Marvel: idk?? He’s from Gotham I thought yall were just like that#Or Billy’s been spamming Jason for six hours straight#And Jason ‘could hack the govt but wtf is TikTok’ has no idea what the hell he’s talking about#Billy: rizz is off the charts but vibes? Whack 💃🏾 ykwim???#Jason in tears seeing 800+ messages on his computer after patrol bc he still has a flip phone: yeah absolutely#Or Batman’s been visibly freaking out all day and he grabs marvel as soon as he gets to the watchtowers alarm system#Hal: wtf did you do he hasn’t been that pissed since I reset the watchtowers alarm system#Billy: Hood is fine 🙄 istg there was an issue with vampires three dimensions over and he wanted to come#Barry: oh god I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear you say vampires Hal are you hearing this shit??#Jason reading books from the 14th century: ✅ yeah this is normal#Jason reading messages from a middle schooler: ❌ what fuckass cipher is this I hate everything
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This poll inspired by a discord convo i watched happen,, somewhere,,, <- i forgor what server it was in, but i've been meaning to make this poll for a while
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt poll#rise of the tmnt poll#rambles#hiding this in the tags to not sway results if this ends up making rounds#but i personally consider it like a weird third toe#althought sometimes i just ignore it exists if i want to put the turtles in shoes#anyways if yall could reblog this that would be cool#im genuinley curious as to what people thing this little bit is#i can see the argument for heel tho cuz the 2003 boys have something similar#i think about it more like a dewclaw that cats and dogs have#although for the turtle maybe it helps with balance?
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also I consented for my doc to use photos / video footage of my reduction on social media and shit and he's ALREADY posted my before/after photos on his instagram. and I'm experiencing an emotion unknown to mankind, reading a bunch of insta comments about how great the results are and how wonderful the new boobs look
#just tons of comments calling him a miracle worker and being like WOW what a transformation!!#and I'm like yOURE DAMN RIGHTTTTTTT#I initially thought about not signing that consent form but I want ppl to be able to find before/afters of GIANT. boobs.#and not the ones where you can hardly tell there was a reduction.#so I like to give myself a little credit by imagining that somebody could see my results and feel confident that they can still get good#results#with biguns#sergle.txt
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"But beyond all my pain, there was you"
Narilamb designs: @runningwithscizzorz
here's an alt version of Narinder without the veil!! :D
#I added that detail last minute and my poor government laptop was about to explode from the amount of layers that I was using–#it wasn't even that much! just uhh 95 I think?? I normally use like. 150+. But this poor laptop is not built for that#The tools were starting to lag and the program froze for a couple of seconds before starting to work again and it was a whole mess so#I couldn't put a lot of detail into it#but I'm still pretty happy with the result!!#I love Lisey's design so much specially Narinder's#I really wanted to make fanart for them and I finally got to finish it!! there was a lot of trusting the process in this fjhsd but it was#definitely worth it. I think I exceeded myself. Very proud of this one.#even though I couldn't put the amount of detail I would have wanted to because of the laptop's limitations.. I did the best I could with#what I had and I think it looks good! so. yeah. hehe.#I hope Likey likes it if they see it heh (*´ω`*)#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl Narinder#cotl Lamb#cotl the one who waits#cotl narilamb#cotl fanart#narinder x lamb#gpart
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Positive things to say about FEw 3 Hopes The extra support convos 💓 SO many good ones! I loved Ingrid and Marianne support so much 🥺
#fe3h#fire emblem warriors 3 hopes#ingrid brandl galatea#marianne von edmund#Dorte the horse#I did not nailed well what i wanted to do but still... I did what i could with this#also experimenting with colors#not really satisfy with the result but it's something#I want to see a convo between Balthus and Dimitri!!! will they fight?#or Cyril#OR Lindhart#IDK i just wanna know how everyone interact between each other#And just give me my Byleth Convos goddamnit
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hello again r1999 fandom here's a template you can use i just really wanted to have one of those for this fandom so i made one myself. you can draw them or put pngs of your blorbos or whatever just have fun with it. you can mention me if you do it but it's fine either way bc my username is on the template anyway
#reverse 1999#r1999#re1999#what else do i tag this#template#favorite characters template#i'll do this myself when i get around to it ... i really want to draw all my faves#also i would Love it if you mentioned me actually#just because i'd be very curious to see the results
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