#i don't think I'd be able to cope with either

[deathricedrawn]

i'm ready to try

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

I regret to inform everyone we're back in the white space. Expect the fire alarm to go off periodically in typical fashion of whenever it detects a steaming pile of garbage on the way. Like me! [i'll give a cookie to whoever recognizes where the sfx is from!!]

[heartshattering]

I SLEPT (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[kingspuppet]

Getting more Goro crumbs from the beta builds is giving me the biggest boost of serotonin.

[bluesquaress]

i like to think my mental health isn't that bad, and that my disorders haven't impacted me that hard, but then i'll have nights like this where i'll realize just how badly i've fucked myself and it really, really sucks lol.

these past 4 years, can i even call it living? though, i think the worst part is i know it's not gonna stop at 4. i know once this year ends, the next will be just as bad if not worse, and i will have to live through not just that year, but every year after it knowing the only person i can blame for my misery is myself.

[copperbadge]

You know, ten years ago I might have looked at what working remotely has done to my daily routine and said it's really fucked me, but this morning I was thinking about it and I think I'm much closer to my natural inclinations than I could have been before.

I woke up around 2am today (after going to bed at 8ish), ate half a hamburger, and made a batch of meringues. I'd planned to make meringues and macaroons this morning before making haroset for the Passover dinner I'm going to, and meringues basically look after themselves -- after 90 minutes in a 200F oven they'll be fine if they stay in the cooling oven a bit, and my oven has a timed-shutoff function, so if I go back to sleep it'll be okay. And now the mixing bowl has time to dry after being washed before I make macaroons.

So you know, yes I'm up at 2am eating breakfast and doing tasks, but I ate breakfast because I was hungry and I got something checked off my to-do list. I got six hours of sleep and could get a few more if I want. ADHD has a known association with sleep dysfunction but usually that means "night owl"; I had to be different so for me that manifests as being an extreme morning person. Ordinarily that would be more of a hindrance than you think, except now nobody is seeing my schedule on the daily.

There's no real problem with being up for the day at 2am if you don't have to pretend to be alert and productive from 8 to 4:30 later that same day. I get more done at work because I can square it all away early and then just babysit email the rest of the day. If you don't have to commute, you don't have to avoid the hell of being 15 hours awake while on the bus home - for perspective, if you normally get up at 7 like a normal person, my 5pm is your 10pm.

When breakfast is at 3am, lunch comes around 10:30 -- which is good if you're supposed to take a dose of meds at 1pm on an empty stomach. I no longer have to take my lunch break all in a chunk either; I can eat lunch at a leisurely pace and still only take 20 minutes, and use the rest of my break time to cook or clean in short increments, or just spend a few minutes playing with the cats.

And my ability to stick to a schedule is better, because I have to enforce it myself...but I also can. No need to mess with alarms I'll likely ignore if I can set my work lamp to turn itself off when it's lunch time. If I have to get up to turn it back on, I might as well fix lunch, after all. No need to worry about finishing early and not being able to go home -- I can just walk away and keep email alerts going on my phone until official quitting time.

If I had to go back to in person office work, I could; I knew how to cope before. But I have to admit I'd be really bitter about it.

[nothorses]

So I'm thinking of going on low dose T, and ofc I'll get more feedback from doctors when I see them, but I know one of the changes is that you run warmer and have lower heat tolerance, and I'm already kind of heat sensitive (sweating is a sensory ick). Do you or your followers have any kind of coping strategies that have helped with that?

I ran warm before, too, and I'm definitely warmer now! I also have Raynaud's which kind of makes the whole experience a clusterfuck, but that's besides the point. lmao.

I live in a pretty cool/temperate area, so it isn't normally an issue except in the (increasingly horrible) summers, but I've found that the hardest time to stay cool has been at night. I share a bed with my partner who runs even warmer, and it's been 2.5 years of struggling to figure out how to be a comfortable temperature together.

The best advice I can give you is to just stay as far away from synthetic fibers as you can; "sweat wicking" and "cooling" and "athletic" stuff included. It's a lie. They're all plastic, and while they might feel cool to the touch at first, plastic doesn't breathe. It'll trap heat and moisture against your skin after enough time, especially in the form of blankets. (Fuck the Rest Evercool. Worst recommendation I've ever gotten.)

Look for 100% linen, or 100% cotton. I've heard wool also works well, but I haven't had luck with that personally. Woven fabrics are going to be cooler and more breathable than sateen, and waffle weave is like, the single most breathable weave afaik (it's more common in blankets, but some clothes are waffle).

Some of these things can be pretty scratchy at first, and I recommend a couple of washes on a high heat & some fabric softener before you start using them. We were able to break in our waffle blanket super quickly this way! (I know some folks recommend against softener for breathability reasons, but it's the only thing that actually worked for us, and it hasn't impacted breathability). After you break them in, though, cotton and linen fabrics are SUPER soft!

I also recommend staying away from leather. It's natural, but trust me: it's not breathable. It's coveted in outdoor rec spaces BECAUSE it's somewhat waterproof.

Outside of that, I'd really encourage you to lean towards multiple light layers that you can change/remove throughout the day to suit your needs (ex: light tee + fleece + wind/rain layer, maybe throw in a flannel somewhere), instead of one or two heavy ones (ex: shirt + big puffy cold weather jacket). It's a strategy common in the PNW that works great for regulating your temperature when you're dealing with humidity and somewhat unpredictable weather, and imo, it also really translates if you're just generally sensitive to heat and sweat.

Outside of that... depending on where you live, I really recommend having an AC/dehumidifier. Don't bother with trying to rig up a swamp cooler if you're sensitive to sweat- the increased humidity will make things worse. The general advice I heard when researching a good AC was that window units will always be more efficient than portable units (and a mini split is better than either), but if you have to go with a portable unit, go with a dual-hose. They'll be more efficient just because they don't create a vacuum that pulls in warm air from outside. This is the model we settled on- it was really highly recommended and cost effective for what it is, and it's been absolutely fantastic this summer.

Idk how you are about pits, but I wash mine with a benzoyl body wash and then use a deodorant with antiperspirant every day, and I virtually never smell or sweat. 🤷‍♂️ ymmv though

I'm sure folks will have things to add, so check the notes on this post- and good luck!

[concerningwolves]

Amazon are upping their print costs for books, which means some (possibly many) self-pubbed authors may have to also up the cost of their book(s). I'd like to say now, to make it crystal clear for the record, this is not authors being greedy.

I think someone who looks up the royalty rate for KDP and sees "60% for exclusive publishing and 40% for non-exclusive" would think "Wow, these authors are getting paid good money!" but once you calculate the amount of the list price that Amazon eats after printing costs, that percentage can be literally pennies. The minimum, and I mean the absolute bare minimum that I could sell When Dealing with Wolves for after the changes is £12.48 – and if I did that, I would make £0.00. That's zero money. No royalties.

I repeat: 40% royalties on a book listed at £12.48 = nothing.

I currently have WDWW up at £14.00. My "40% cut" from that is £0.76. After the printing cost changes go into effect, I'll make £0.61 from each sale instead. I really don't want to up my prices, because frankly it enrages me that Amazon won't let me list my book for anything under £12, when the standard price of a fiction paperback in the UK is usually around £8.99 – but writing isn't my priority job, so I have that luxury. I'm not trying to make a living off my writing so much as using it to supplement what I make from the freelance career, which is a choice I made because I knew I could never cope with the workload required for a ""serious"" self-pubbed writing career without sabotaging myself. The £0.15 difference in royalties from one book sale isn't going to be the difference between me eating or not; it just really really annoys and disheartens me. (And, also, is further proof that I can't sustain a full-time writing career, because I'd run myself ragged for too little gain and then I wouldn't be able to eat).

But there are plenty of authors who are writing as their primary source of income, either because they can't do anything else or because they took the plunge they're building their career (and it shouldn't matter to you why someone is writing full-time, by the way. You want fiction media to interact with, then you need writers, and writers need to be paid in order to live in order to make more media). It's these authors who will have to up their book prices, and I feel in my bones that it's these authors who are going to face the backlash.

So, if you must be pissed off at someone, be pissed off at Amazon. The authors are probably pissed off, too (I certainly am!), so you'll be in good company.

(And if you can, buy the ebook version because we get better royalties, or see if the author has their own store where you can get the book, since they'll have more control over their own prices there).

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

still fucked up? here's a pick a pile reading.

pile 1. pile 2. pile 3.

a pick a pile reading inspired on sundays being the longest and most tedious day of the week. i never know what to do on a sunday other than overthinking and feeling sort of gloomy.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 1 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Honestly, I really dig this combination of cards. I feel like this Page of Wands is asking you to take a different approach when thinking of success. It's clear that you value material and spiritual achievements equally, but you see them as something that's too far away from your reality. I think that it is very important to recognize that you are guarded by energies that match your ambitions, and you are doing things right to become the person you wish to be. 

Other than that, it is also relevant to think of the dissonances and miscommunications that can cause you trouble when trying to face any obstacles in your journey. The Emperor and The High Priestess are both equally strong in their own ways. Both of these energies are present in your life, and they happen to be complete polar opposites, the peak of male energy and the peak of female energy. Balancing both with every step you take is difficult, therefore it's understandable if you choose to focus on one or another depending on the moment. Ideally, these two should be able to communicate with one another, so you don't betray the nature of one taking actions more suitable to the other. 

In order to do this, I'd say that it's a great moment to look at the world with child-like eyes; allow yourself to be amused and ruled by curiosity, enrich your life with first time experiences and find joy in spaces where your creativity is nurtured. Don't assume that your learning years are over. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 2 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Okay, this is a tough one. Stay strong bestie. So… Clearly that Ten of Swords is about something in your head that has caused major negative impacts on your life. I wouldn't say it's mostly about emotional distress by itself, but instead I think it's more about the prevalence of dysfunctional thought processing patterns that are being ignored or mishandled in the social and emotional parts of your life. It seems that a deep understanding of your own sensitivity hasn't been enough to cope with this. 

But, it's not all bad, as the presence of both Kings, Wands and Cups, show me that the maturity and strength is there, what's lacking tho, is a more solid sense of trust on the logic presented by sources outside your own head. Feeling trapped and buried by your own thoughts, it's common enough that you can share them with trusted ones surrounding you in order to appease feelings of doubt and desperation. 

This combination of cards shows me that you have the capacity to move from this thought provoked stagnation, to move from a mental eco chamber of negativity. To accomplish this you should aim to build more solid relations based on nurturing each other's potential and emotional strength. Don't be doubtful when taking the first steps towards what you already know you can do for bettering yourself and others. Stop being confident in negative thoughts and begin being confident in positive ones, even if you need help beginning to do so. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 3 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Well, one is not bad but it’s not that good either. I think the main topic of this spread is to remain cautious when material success is achieved, in order to not cause yourself emotional and spiritual harm. Sometimes our material achievements can be directly related to spiritual growth, yet, we can not deny that the energy we spend on creating success for ourselves is just as valuable as the energy we spend on our spiritual journeys. In this case, the Seven of Pentacles shows me that your sense of purpose, in resonance with patience and determination, will bring great satisfaction as long as you take time to reflect and rest from the hard work. 

Nonetheless, be careful with who you choose to be generous with. There’s nothing wrong with providing a helping hand, but make sure that those who receive it understand the value of your hard work and are not there to deceit you by playing victims. Keep an eye on anything that is causing you doubts on your enterprises, and do not fool yourself with ideas and proposals that come from unrealistic perspectives. This is a great moment to reflect on the ways your energy is being received by others. The main priority should be your well being and your stability first. You can’t give to others if you can’t provide for yourself.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · FIN · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

hey there, im gigi i did this tarot thing, hii. hope this was at least fun to read i guess? im just chilling with the cards and writing. thinking about making a introduction post but then idk... like i love this blog and i love tumblr so im like ayyy i get to practice my english and get back into tarot? slay. like i swear

im kinda rusty with tarot's rn but hopefully eventually I'll get back on it like i used to so i guess that if someone wants to follow me in case i open my questions inbox to answer questions with the cards and stuff that could be nice.

ugh and im also putting together a nicer space for the readings, my desk is full of paint stains (my normal job is art related lol) and there's always a university thing peaking from the side of my desk, it's like my notes are watching me while i kinda ignore them...

anyways i got like 40 notes on my first post, soooo thaaaanks omg i was so like nervous about it i hate that im this kinda shy to post tarot content anynomously like wtf how can i be like that when im posting nasty thirst traps on my personal instagram with no context?? the duality of women i guess. okay this is too much venting

bye thanks for reading, stay bad, stay focused, might post a card of the week PAC reading later seee yaaaa love yaaa

｡ ﾟ ꒰ঌ ✦MASTERPOST & PAID SERVICES ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

[loweya-blog]

Heyy, I've just come across this post https://www.tumblr.com/tsukii0002/767342452477657088/en-el-mundo-humano-ej-la-temporada-3?source=share and I would REALLY REALLY REALLY love a longer scenario of this idea. Tag the original account and make my dreams come true if it's not too much trouble. Thank you for posting good Obey Me content~ 🌹

So sorry for taking so long! I had job issues to deal with and moving stuff that's going to be happening. Here is your scenario! I hope you like it! :D

Surprise! I drive!

The brothers hadn't been in the human world for very long and during one of their visits, Lucifer announced it was time for grocery shopping. To your surprise, the rest of the brothers groaned, even Beel who normally would be excited over the prospect of food.

"Uggh..... I don't want to carry all of it. Or any of it." Belphie groaned from his cozy spot on the couch.

His head had been on your lap while you were reading. Meanwhile Beel was right next to you, munching on a granola bar you'd given him.

"Yeah. I won't be able to eat any of it for so long. I don't know if I can hold back," Beel said, in between bites.

"My legs weren't made for such a distance!"

Walking to the farmers market would take a long while and you didn't feel like walking for 35 whole minutes either.

"I can just pick it up," You offer.

"By yourself?" Satan asked with a look of worry.

"Yeah. If you just give me a list and card, I'll drive down and get the stuff you need. Of course I'd love someone to come along to help carry things to the car-"

"You can drive?!" Mammon asked, completely shocked.

"Well..... yeah? The public transportation here is shit so I have to drive, whether I like it or not...."

Looking at the brothers, you noticed a shift in their expressions. There was a mix of impressed looks along with ones of worry and surprise.

"What? Did you guys think just cause I didn't have a license in the Devildom that I wouldn't have one in my own realm?" You question, a bit annoyed and amused.

"....It seems.... we didn't think of that," Lucifer responded, clearly coping with this new information, "...As for your offer, I think that would be best. Thank you."

"So you can do magic, have pacts with demons, AND drive? What other secrets are you hiding from us?" Asmo asked with a little smirk as he wormed his way onto your lap, shoving Belphie's head aside.

Belphie looked annoyed that his spot was taken and leaned against your shoulder instead.

"It's hardly a secret. How else do you think I get places? I can't stay in my apartment all day!"

Suddenly, you saw all the brothers pause once more, as though their brains had been broken.

"A-apartment? You got an apartment without us?" Levi whined, "That's not fair!"

"I had the apartment before I came to the Devildom. Did you guys think I was homeless or something?"

The room's silence was deafening.

"Do you have a job?" Satan finally asked.

"Yep. I gotta pay rent somehow."

"But how come we've never seen you at this so-called apartment?" Belphie demanded, having doubts about this story.

"Cause I want to hang around you guys for the summer and living in a mansion is fucking awesome," You realized if you didn't escape this conversation, you'd be here forever. "I'd better get those groceries, before they close down."

Abruptly but gently you pulled Asmo off your lap and left the room with the list Lucifer had written up for himself originally, and his card. Meanwhile the brothers were shell-shocked. This human, whom they had known for two whole years had a whole life outside of them. A life they barely knew anything about.

The realization was a humbling one as it reminded them of two certain truths. One, you didn't need them as much as they thought you did. Two, there was an entirely different side to you that they never had the chance to see yet. For the longest time they thought they knew everything about you. But now, they were realizing they barely knew anything at all.

______________________________

A few days pass since the conversation and you noticed a shift in the brother's behaviors. At least one of the brothers would make you breakfast, even on days when it was supposed to be your turn to make the meals. Lucifer would take you out to fine dining restaurants, Mammon would constantly buy you anything you looked interested in, Levi would drag you to his room for the newest games and manga, Asmo would bring you to fancy spas and nail salons, Beel would give you all his snacks while Belphie would make your bed perfect for naps with waaaaay too many pillows. A bit of spoiling was nice now and then but the intensity of your spoiling had gone from a level five to a level ten in less than a day.

So you had a sit down. You used your pact to make all the brothers sit in the living room for a proper conversation. At first they were resistant to speak up about it but after seeing the worried look on your face, they one by one gave in.

"Ugh! Fine! We're just... worried!" Mammon blurted out.

"About what?"

"It's not that we are are worried. It's just.... I suppose we just are anxious," Satan answered, trying to reframe the issue.

"About?"

"Well.... that you might one day get tired of us and leave," Asmo said with a sigh, "We know we can be difficult, though I'm always worth it, it's just sometimes we get concerned that you won't see things that way."

"And since now we learn you're completely independent, it means you have even less reason stickin' around!" Mammon blurted out.

"You're already smart, kind, gorgeous, funny, and capable," Beel said with sad eyes, "In a way, you're too good for us."

"And we can't even make you stay by keeping you asleep with us since you apparently have a job," Belphie said with a lazy pout.

"What we are trying to say is.... your independence shook us up a bit, since we are so used to having you rely on us," Lucifer explained tactfully.

What kind of podcast bullshit are they listening to?

"That's not what our relationship is about. It's not about providing and taking. We're a family. Regardless of what you do or don't provide," You say with a frown, "I love you all far more than what you can do for me. If all I cared about was what you gave or did for me, then that isn't love! I love you all for who you are. Even if I was the wealthiest person in the world, which I certainly am not, it wouldn't fucking matter. Got it?"

You pulled each of them into a tight hug, even Lucifer who had tried to escape from the group hug.

"You're MY demons. MY family. My friends. No amount of me driving or being independent is going to change that. Okay?"

Your words seemed to soothe the hearts of each of your demons, letting them relax against you as they snuggled up next to you. For the evening, you all stayed together, relaxed and no longer worried about who could give what. Because in the end, that's not what love was about.

(@douxkise)

[mslovett]

okay so I'd like to make a case for why holden caulfield is actually a likable character

first and foremost is the fact that he's incredibly vulnerable, he doesn't have the narrative voice he does because he's annoying or just a bad person - he's a child who's traumatised. throughout the book it becomes very obvious that holden has no support system. and yes, to be fair, that is partially his fault because he is a self isolating and self alienating character, but that is a direct response to him not wanting to get hurt (will expand on later). i'd specifically like to point out the lack of support he has from his family. a quote that stuck with me quite seriously is from chapter chapter 20 when holden is at central park, imagining that he is going to die and how his family would react. he says "I felt sorry as hell for my mother and father. Especially my mother because she still isn't over my brother Allie yet." holden is extremely aware of the people around him, and whilst he may often come to dubious conclusions from his observations (he is the unreliable narrator, afterall), I'd argue that this time it's a reasonable and likely true observation. allie's death affected holden directly, but it also affected the rest of his family, thus affecting him indirectly as-well. to further this point, regardless of whether allie's death affected how emotionally available holden's parents could be for him, they have a rocky relationship regardless. (in reference to his mother) "She bought me the wrong kind of skates - I wanted racing skates and she bought hockey - but it made me sad anyway." (chapt. seven) now I get that this could seem insignificant at first, his mother got him the wrong skates, so what - he sounds ungrateful. but really this quote symbolises the miscommunication between holden and his mother. whilst his mother wants to understand holden, she's probably struggling to do so. this then stems outward, as throughout the book, holden feels as if no one understands him at all. holden's father doesn't come up as much, but from what is mentioned, they don't seem to connect a lot either. in reality, it seems that the only people in his family that holden feels connected to is his brother D.B. and his little sister, pheobe. but of course, holden still limits himself with D.B. because he assumes/perceives phoniness in him (+ there's the physical distance and practicality issues with them communicating). and whilst pheobe does have a positive impact on holden, she's still just a very young child and would realistically not be able to (and shouldn't be made to) help holden process his own struggles. so it is established that holden has no support system. this alone, paired with the fact that he is only sixteen and navigating an undeniably difficult transition into adulthood already makes him vulnerable, but what makes it worse? the fact that he has unprocessed trauma and grief surrounding the death of his younger brother, allie. personally, i'd argue that allie is what the whole book comes back to, constantly. holden idealised allie (and continues to throughout the present setting of the book) as innocence personified, and as this amazingly kind and intelligent person. and then he died. this was something incredibly unfair, and obviously there wouldn't be any reason for it, something that'd make it incredibly hard for a thirteen year old to process. basically, at thirteen, this was holden's first insight into the adult world, where things happen out of your control, even if they're unfair. this is also likely the first time holden took to isolating himself as a coping mechanism "I slept in the garage the night he died," (chapt. 5), inferring that holden's unhealthy self-isolation stems from this trauma, which I think is something we should have sympathy for.

however, despite being self isolating, holden does try and connect to people, it's just that he has a tendency to foil those relationships (usually because he is reaching out to people who are completely mismatched to him) e.g. carl luce and sally hayes. still, I think the relationships established at the start of the book are more significant. with stradlater, holden really tried to be friends with him. he defended him to ackley, even though he himself thought of stradlater as a vain womaniser, and he wrote a composition for him, despite not having to. it was only when stradlater was ungrateful in respect to the composition that holden wrote, not knowing that it was about his dead brother, in which holden reached his breaking point with stradlater. ackley is quite the contrast to stradlater, though. he's generally disliked/a loner, and holden doesn't sound very forgiving of him initially, but the way holden acts suggests sympathy towards ackley. yes, he's cold with him, but he does let him stick around (despite having many gripes about ackley's poor hygiene or lack of room-reading skills), because he wouldn't want ackley to be lonely - because holden himself is lonely, and there are more similarities between holden and ackley in that sense than holden would likely be willing to admit. jane gallagher also comes up whilst holden is still at pencey, and she's unique because she's the first person we're introduced to who holden feels positively about for the whole novel. but there are only two really significant reasons why holden likes her. the first is that she's someone whom holden can actually relate to, she's gaurded and won't be vulnerable with people she hasn't known for a long time; "Ask her if she still keeps all her kings in the back row" (chapt. 4) shows her reservation. the other reason why holden likes her so much is because he views her as innocent, and innocence is the one thing holden values and wants to protect. this becomes evident when holden recalls a time she cried infront of him, and he began to kiss her tears away, but wouldn't (and jane wouldn't let him, either) kiss her mouth. this theme becomes more prevalent throughout the book as holden is very nice to children, all the while resisting his transition into adulthood because he doesn't want to lose his own innocence (or, lose any more of it) and lose sight of what's important to him. I think a lot of people take issue with holden's incessant complaints about phoniness, but the truth is, he's only scared of becoming phony/an adult because he thinks he'll forget about allie if he does. his issue with phoniness isn't necessarily that people are being fake: [at a movie theatre] "She had this little kid with her that was bored as hell and had to go to the bathroom, but she wouldn't take him. She kept telling him to sit still and behave himself. She was about as kindhearted as a goddamn wolf." (chapt. 18) holden thinks movies are phony because he sees people get emotional over them whilst ignoring real issues. in this case, a mother is prioritising the movie over her son, and holden worries that if he engages in 'phony' activities such as movie-watching, that he'll no longer care about allie. and right now, he cares a lot. ultimately, the point i'm making is that holden has a lot of positive traits that are seldom acknowledged, but you have to look beyond the surface of his character to recognise them.

the other point i'd like to make about holden is that he's a tragic character. even if you ignore the fact that he's a child who was made to grieve his younger brother's death at the age of thirteen, life is repeatedly slapping him in the face. the entire book is him trying desperately to find meaning in life, and struggling. in school he's completely unable to connect to any of his class-mates, or the subject material. instead of anyone trying to understand and deal with this problem, his parents just constantly send him to school after school after school. holden's self-esteem is non-existent and he constantly thinks he'd be better off dead. he is constantly let down by adults in his life, a glaring example being mr. antolini, the one adult holden liked and thought he could trust. holden is so isolated and lonely that it eventually builds up to a mental health crisis that leaves him admitted to a sanatorium. sure, he's a rich kid who likes to complain, but he's also been dealt a really tragic deck of cards.

anyway, uhh... i think i'm done, though I probably missed a lot.

[oneglass-zinfandel]

What’s your Ben’s personality like? I feel like everyone makes him the same asshole

Note: thank you for asking! A few requests got sent in like the second I posted my Masterlist so thanks for that!

Tw: mentions of Death, killing, sadism, drowning

The thing I love about Creepypasta is how Little information we have on the cannon personality of them so it's up to you to imagine their personalities and it's so fun seeing people make headcannons!

Personally I keep switching between all kinds of personalities for Ben but here's what I usually stick with<3

★ I don't think he's a asshole but he's definitely childish so it comes off as him being a jerk

★ He died around the age of 12 but I see him as more of a 17-19yo

★ Due to dying so young he definitely has some mental and emotional intelligence issues, and as far as I remember he's a only child so it adds onto it

★ i wouldn't call him a asshole like everyone makes him out to be but perhaps a little sadistic as a coping mechanism almost?

★ He either laughs in his victims face, or hes very serious and quiet the whole time, if he's in a bad mood or maybe the victim reminds him to much of himself?

★ I don't like the idea of him being a completely useless guy? Like I'd imagine he can cook for himself just fine, probably follows YouTube Tutorials for it and says how it looks great when it's just mediocre

★ But at least he doesn't get food poisoning!

★ His room isn't very clean, i think he'd be able to float being a ghost and all so his rooms floor is rather messy

★ He will clean it up eventually once he loses something he cares about, like maybe he can't find some game cartridge and just starts cleaning up to find it, and then finishes cleaning cuz he got to into it

★ Definitely on the spectrum but I'm unsure where exactly

★ Sentimental guy fr

★ 100% Traumatized from being Drowned but it only really triggers when showering.

★ He can't use the Big shower head cuz the water just pouring on him like he can't freely look around or open his mouth and reminds him of drowning

★ Hypnotically if a kid gets their hands on Majora's Mask, the haunted one, he is NOT killing that poor guy. Although the next morning suddenly their save is deleted

★ He will keep deleting it near that one part where Link can die, till the kid eventually gives up playing it

★ Now romantically speaking i have to join the obnoxious people and say he's a flirt

★ Although I never said he was a good one, definitely having some childish humor

★ Now if you're a woman he's a bit misogynistic, and I'd you're a guy bro is projecting onto you and whinning about you being gay

★ Hes not that bad but I'd seen him being either or both

★ Although I think it's just him not being educated and refusing to, but if you become his partner, you're taking care of that internalized Misogyny/Homophobia

★ But when you start dating he's a real nice guy, he won't bat one eye at anyone else

★ Finds you weird and calls you weird for dating a ghost and might even call you a nerd and saying stuff like "You only like me cuz I look like your dear Link"

★ Which is half true but again he's just projecting

★ He appreciates you for being loyal to him so as I said, he won't look at anyone else

★ I like to think sense he's so computer oriented he has a built in thing in his mind where he just KNOWS the time and date 24/7 subconsciously

★ So he's not forgetting any important dates!

★ Although he's shit at gifts and will probably just look at videos like ""what to get your partner for Valentine's day!" And gives you some lame gift..

★ Don't think he doesn't pay attention however! He just doesn't remember the details, if you like some game or anime you best believe he's getting you merch but ONLY for your birthday

★ Any other holiday or special date? Nah it's just generic basic gifts

★ And don't expect anything if youve only been dating a month and a holiday is coming up, give him a month and a half at least to trust you before he gives a big enough shit to get you something.

★ He's definitely touchy with you, being possessive about you

★ But if he's gaming you better not disturb him unless it's something more layed back

★ He will put a arm around you locking you in by his side, controller still in hand not looking at you

★ During checkpoints or loading screens he will respond to anything you have to say but don't blab while he plays cuz he's probably not listening unless he hears a word he likes (like a dog)

★ For more intimate cases, I'll just say he doesn't like Hickeys, sometimes about you touching his neck and being close to it bothers him a lot

★ Although he's biting your neck 100%, not cuz he loves it or anything, it makes him a bit uncomfortable doing it too, but it's to show ownership in a bit of a toxic way, in his eyes at least

★ I don't think he's a huge manipulator but he's a serial killer so I won't deny the possibility

★ He just needs some love and care, someone to put up with his mood swings and bare his immature attitude when it comes out

★ If you survive a year with him just know you're NOT allowed to break up with him. I'm sorry but he would kill you :(

★ No cuz i genuinely think he would, in a fit of rage and betrayal, although he regrets it forever he still will never recover from it so...

★ Just be nice and patient with him<3

Thank you for the request!

I hope you liked it, i tried to keep my train of thought sorry if it's maybe a bit off, I'm still new to writing and putting my thoughts on paper especially having so many different idea of how Ben would act, but I hope itd not to bad!

† Be nice in the comments plzz 😭🙏

Oh and give me tips on how to tag! I have no clue I hope I did okay..★

[drdemonprince]

I was talking to some relatives about our comparative sensitivities to substances. As a young person, I had the classic Autistic hyper-sensitivity to drugs. Two beers could knock me out. Anything past that was disgusting to me; at Ohio State I was constantly hiding half-drunk solo cups of Natty Light on bookshelves and in basements because I couldn't keep up with anyone else. I had no taste for weed or anything harder because I hated how tired it made me feel. At the same time, I always remained lucid on substances. I was always the person who could snap into practical, problem-solving thinking and put on a sober face if a member of my party got in trouble for pissing in the street or started fighting or ran afoul of the cops.

growing up, my friends were always trying to get fucked up so they could escape their brains and their realities, and then falling into huge problems because they'd done so. they'd get drunk and piss themselves. drive drunk home. fall in love with some dude on cocaine ten years older than them and then have to bust open a garage window with their fist when he was freaking out threatening himself. they'd blow out their caffeine receptors on weird drug store cold medicine and not be able to drink coffee for years. they'd drag themselves hung over to work or have to run a 5k still stoned. i didnt understand why they'd be so irrational. i was always the person sitting on the floor, a little tired but fine, watching them wrestle eachother drunkenly or cry when they'd started taking whatever drug it was to make themselves feel good. i didn't understand why someone would choose to weaken themselves and make themselves feel even worse. but nothing ever really felt good to me. i was just a flat line.

My sensitivity has changed thanks to testosterone, specifically because of muscle growth. I can throw back a number of drinks that startles me now, and feel almost nothing. A few months back a friend was being very generous with the boozy slushies at Sidetrack and the shots. I don't know how many I had. But more than I'd had to drink in many, many years at least. Which is probably still a small-seeming number to the real professionals, maybe something like 6 or 7 drinks total. But I felt completely fine, nothing past a little silly. I ate a taco on the curb, sipped some water, and then I was fine.

My sister is barely feels substances at all. She can't tell when pain medications work. In college, during a spat with a sorority "little" of hers who began to stalk her, she spent every afternoon at the bar downing shots from a shot-club list in exchange for a t-shirt, and it didn't affect her. She hates food and eats very little because of probably ARFID, but she will drink just about anything, and can do so in abundance if she wants to. But she rarely wants to, because it doesn't make her feel any more fucked up than a couple of cocktails. She smoked weed and took edibles sporadically for years without them ever kicking in or doing anything to her.

I am reminded of that story I read about the guy with really high social anxiety whom the CIA gave like ten tabs of acid, as part of some fucked up experiment, and he remained completely lucid, polite, present, and normal-seeming the entire time. Because he was just such a fucking tight-assed neurotic person that he couldn't let go of his iron-tight grip on reality. After his 12th acid tab, he got a little bit sleepy and went off to bed, or something like that. (If someone remembers this story and can find a link, send it to me!).

I don't know that I'd be the same, I've never tried, acid, but I imagine that it would play out something like that. I'd clench my firsts tight onto reality and keep masking as normal until I reached the absolute fucking brink of my ability to cope, and then I wouldn't enjoy the high, i'd just be so fucked up that I needed to go lie down. Mushrooms didn't affect me much, either.

I can't seem to escape my constant neurotic rumination and compulsive need to attend to the reactions of others and modulate myself. I wish I could let loose, but then again, when a person says they want one thing and they behave in a completely different way, trust the behavior. Clearly I don't want to lose control. I'm obsessed with maintaining my perspective. The one time I got properly zooted high at Nowadays in New York I nearly lost my phone, and I don't want to risk anything like that again. Anxiety is such a protective thing. we evolved to survive not to be happy. and all told i'm pretty good at keeping shit together, looking after myself, looking after others, and not fucking things up. my anxiety and rigidity has spared my ass a whole lot of problems, saved me a lot of money, helped my career, helped me escape arrest. i wish i could relax once in a fucking while but also i dont. im in love with what a tight ass sharp edged tense little bitch i can be. i dont know who the alternative version of me even would be. if i were to let properly loose and get sloppy it would feel like some abdication of duty, because I know that I *can* keep it together no matter what, and it seems so many people can't.

[sapphicideas]

kind of a vent and you can just ignore this if you want. I’m a college age bi tgirl who’s been having a bit of a rough time of it. I’ve done my best to be picky but it feels like all the worst people just throw themselves at me. From emotionally manipulative girl, to boy who blatantly cheated on me when I didn’t want to have sex right away, another girl who after I turned her down decided to try to rape me, just to name a few. Every time I feel like it’ll be different, like I’ve sifted through and found someone who is genuine and then I just get fucked over again. Either they only want me for my body to fill their fetish, or the leave once they find out about it thinking I’m gross, or they just want to try and manipulate me and get upset when I try to stand up for myself, or maybe I’m just a novelty and they get bored and leave. It just kind of feels like at this point this is just what I deserve I guess. I don’t know where I’m going with this I think I just wanted to try and get it out of my system. It’s just exhausting feeling like no matter what I do I always get fucked over.

first of all, i want to say that i am extremely sorry you're going through that. college alone is extremely stressful and situations like this just make that even worse.

you don't deserve any of this. i know it might feel like you do because after enduring so much of this bad stuff, our mind starts to believe that no matter what we do, it won't make a difference. it's like our brain just gives up on trying to fight it and just learns to accept it, instead of realizing the situation could change. bad coping mechanisms are probably feeding this negative thinking pattern too, so it's very important for you to start working on your self esteem and the way you deal with these kinds of situations. if you don't, it will eat you alive.

each time you experience that kind of self doubt, i want you to immediately shut down that negative thought and replace it with a question instead. something like 'assuming it's not my fault, what other explanation could this have?' for example, in your case you said 'i guess it's just what i deserve' which is wrong. i want you to ask yourself that question and realize that you are not at fault. the answer should be 'this person overstepped my boundaries, made me feel bad and hurt me. but i'm not at fault, i can't control other people's actions'. remember, you can only control how you react to the attack itself. if you still don't fully believe that, think about it as if it was a friend or even a complete stranger. blaming someone for getting hurt or used doesn't sound nice, does it? i'm sure you would never do that. so why would you do that to yourself?

you need to treat yourself the way you'd treat someone else, have some self compassion. you don't deserve anything bad, and you're not stupid for not realizing someone's intentions beforehand. people can be really manipulative, and that's not your fault. it's okay to feel hurt, and it's okay to realize someone didn't have good intentions with you. none of that reflects your true worth. you're not less human for not being able to anticipate someone's deceiving behavior. believe me, it's hard for everyone, even for me. and i'd say i'm pretty good at reading people.

i like that you're being picky, i want you to keep having hope. even if that means stepping away from the dating scene for a bit. focus on healing first. keeping that hope intact is what matters the most, not giving someone a chance just because 'they're nice' or 'i think they're treating me okay'. set boundaries, step by step. and don't give up, you're so strong, pretty girl. if you have to stop talking to someone who makes you feel bad, do it. it might hurt in the moment, but in 2 years you won't ever remember their name, i can assure you that.

you don’t have to have it all figured out today or tomorrow, maybe not even next month. it takes so long to unlearn bad habits, even longer than it takes to learn new ones.

sorry it took me this long to reply, i completely missed this ask. and i'm sorry for the actual bible that this response has been, my god. but i figured that if you didn't come back with another ask, i'd just lay the whole thing out there. stay strong, you're loved and worthy of respect. that's the bare minimum, take care princess

[sonsofslytherin]

FRONTMAN

Mattheo Riddle

Stage Presence:

Mattheo Riddle can only be described with one word: chaotic

Mattheo is all about energy, energy, energy

Don't be mistaken he's still a goofball, running around stage to mess with the other guys and playing around with the crowd

Enzo and Matt are absolute menaces, feeding off of each other's chaotic energy. They're definitely the rowdier of the boys.

Of course he still has his image to protect, he's still a badass

He'll jump into the crowd in a heartbeat to fight some guy who looked at him funny or messed with someone else in the crowd

(the band is so used to this they just continue the song)

He'll jump back on stage with blood on his face, clothes, and hands

most of which, isn't his Smiling like a maniac as he picks up where he left off in the song

Mattheo is vocals/frontman because he knows how to rile up a crowd, everyone is jumping around living off of his performance

The band plays better with Mattheo because of the electricity he brings with him

At first he was very reluctant to be the singer

Despite him being overly cocky with almost everything, he wasn't sure he was good enough to be the frontman

Plus he thought it might be a little embarrassing to be a singer

When they first started out he would close his eyes when he sang so he couldn't psych himself out

Now, holy eye contact, he'll have you fully believing y'all are in love.

He writes most of the music they perform with the help of the guys for certain songs

He's the main vocals, but they really like to mix it up and have a few songs where the other guys sing

Fans were so confused the first time they did it

They're a rock band for sure, but that man has the voice of an angel

He can also do the occasional scream

He also taught himself how to play all of the other guys' instruments when they go to sing

Wardrobe:

Like I said bro is not still in any way, so he needs his clothes to be able to move with him

He's by far one of the most casually dressed of the band

He wears a lot of band tees with jeans

Dude is basically a skater only even hotter

Let's be real mans is ripped, so you better believe his wardrobe mainly consists of sleeveless shirts to show off the muscles

And he almost definitely has sleeves of tattoos, and he intends to put those on display

Coping mechanisms bro

If he gets real into it he'll rip his shirt off mainly cuz dude is drenched in sweat now

Also I don't think he owns skinny jeans at all they're probably all straight leg pants he also forgets his belt every once in awhile and struggles on stage

He's also just seems like this guy to have that chain on his belt

He wears regular shoes like either Converse or vans

Not a big jewelry guy at all

But if he were to have any piercings I'd see it being like a single eyebrow piercing or maybe even his lip

[bewylderbeest]

I haven't seen a lot of discussion about RSD when it comes to ADHD discussions, so I thought I would do the honors since it's been affecting me for many years and I'd like people to know more about it!

I have had a diagnosis for ADHD but was never told- instead learning I had autism through therapy but still having some behaviors that I could never explain that just Happened.

I learned I had ADHD over the summer, and with that, severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.

before reading, please keep in mind that this is mostly talking from personal experience and some skimmed research! not experiencing RSD doesn't mean you do/don't have ADHD, and it may not appear like how it appeared for me. I don't only have autism + adhd either, so those may also contribute to any differences! ^^

RSD is the immense emotional pain after being criticized, rejected, or even teased (ignore my misspell in the panel). This rejection can be real or perceived, and we react like this because it hurts.

The pain can manifest as aggression, bringing on symptoms of depression (thoughts of s/h, isolation, demotivation, etc) and anxiety/panic attacks.

it can cause physical aliments like the above. For me, it causes my heartrate to skyrocket, heart palpitations, the feeling of being in a crisis, and extreme shaking to occur along with stomach pain.

(In fact, right now I'm going through it because making a post talking about this, despite having & dealing with it, makes me scared of other's opinions on it.)

RSD can also take the form of avoiding situations, people, or conversations where rejection or criticism is very possible.

Like other types of dysphoria, it is out of our control and hard to manage. It can last from days to weeks to months, all depending on both the trigger* and the individual.

I had a RSD episode that was on-and-off for a little over a year or two; getting more tame and bearable as it slowly drifted and stopped haunting my mind with the incident.

Compared to the other times my RSD was set off, this moment was a rather big moment in my life and ended up permanently changing me moving forward - which can be the reason why it lasted so long.

Despite how unbearable it can get, there are some ways to cope with it & lessen the effect it has.

Communicate - If you need time to process something that's told to you, you should say so (as difficult as it is). Tell the person(s) involved about your RSD, how you need time to digest information like this and take some time to relax. Trying to respond to the information while going through the head of the dysphoria will be very rough and might not be what you truly want to say.

Distract - This is really useful for me personally! Do something that grabs your attention or occupies your mind. One of RSD's main symptoms is rumination, thinking of something over and over again. I usually listen to music, draw, or play a game that won't frustrate me - like minecraft! (i'd say rain world but some of you would call me a maniac /lhj)

Perspective - This may require some communication, but it can really help and connect with others. See what the involved people thought / perceived, explain, talk. This doesn't always have the chance to end in rainbows and rekindling but at least you understand. Sometimes simply hearing the person explain their own side is enough to ease my RSD, being able to have someone explain themselves to me so i can understand them better.

I also wanna point out the "don't take it personally" thing that people try to use to deal with it isn't something i agree with since we're going to take it personally at first regardless. Later on, not really, but you're trying to cope with the symptoms... telling someone (or yourself) that they're too sensitive & over-reacting is the worse thing you could do.

With time, you can even begin to build up your 'armor' and be able to sustain yourself in situations you might get hurt in. Of course, some things may be able to sneak past and hurt you more than you expect, but at the end of the day, you're trying your best to go about it the best you can while taking so many blows. you're doing great.

OK i dont have a lot more to add so if anyone else would like to talk about their experiences, please feel free! i'm just a little neurodivergent + black artist from new york :]

hope you enjoyed it! sorry for the long post </3