#i just want to live

[garyfillingbucketsoak]

I’m very tired of having to fear for my safety for even remotely expressing my Jewishness. Just lost a couple of long-time friends because they said some antisemetic rhetoric to me and refused to listen to me when I tried pointing it out. Things escalated on their end. Anyway please I just want to live safely as a Jewish person.

[therealv1]

day 4

not a vent but not exactly positively made either. (tomcat disposables has ruined my life) extremely rough and quick v4v angst be upon ye. was not caring for anatomy here. felt silly and machinepilled

[michi0no]

Hey everyone

I’m here again asking for help. We’ve got a 3 day notice. Because while I’m still looking for work with absolutely no responses, my spouse lost their job. So the rent payment agreement I set up with our landlord is now… fucked up. Because we went from making like. $300 a week to nothing.

So now we need to pony up 1,000 in the next 2 days because we came home from a doctor’s appointment to the 3 days notice on our door.

I am DoorDashing but it’s a miracle to get $100 out of that these days. I am running rapidly out of resources and I am ready to beg.

Please. Anything would help.

I have my commission prices pinned to the top of my blog and also here.

If you can donate anything to help us:

My Ko-Fi is here

My Venmo is here

My Cash App is here

If you can’t help financially I get it. Please just share? I’m so tired of shit happening in our lives to make asking for help like this a thing.

[proxythe]

can trans ppl just exist however they want without people having something to say about it. can trans people depict trans people however they want without people having something to say about it. can tr

[snapdragonsandwhiptails]

The way neoliberals say “trans women are women” has the same intonation as people saying “our dog is a part of the family” like yeah you love the dog but it definitely doesn’t get the same seat at the table.

[spenjelly]

So anyway a nurse made me cry today

[halfdeadwallfly]

Fuck OCD, actually.

Fuck the fact that my walk home takes three times as long as it should because I have to stop and walk on the right cracks and adjust myself and do the right tics to stop my body from feeling like it might burst if I don't.

Fuck the tics that give me headaches and put stars in my eyes and make me lose my balance and stop in the middle of the street.

Fuck every time I have to flex my muscles so hard and repetitively that I get painful cramps and can't move and feel sore for days.

Fuck the looks people give me in public because my symptoms are visibly strange.

Fuck the agonizing uneven feeling that spreads through my whole body if I don't stop to fix it.

Fuck having to sanitize my hands so often that my skin is dry and peeling.

Fuck not being able to open doors without knowing that I'll be able to clean my hands immediately afterward.

Everything that's both so small and so big and so numerous that I can't even list it.

Everything that impacts my life, even in the little ways. I'm doing the work, and I'm trying to make this better. Easier.

But why is it that it had to be like this in the first place?

[alastors-right-nut]

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

—Martin Niemöller

We must fight now because it won’t be just us that they come for if we don’t. We must fight because our lives depend on it. we must fight so that hopefully more people won’t have to. we must fight to protect the hope for a future and we must fight to protect the hope for our future generations. We must fight even if we’re scared or tired or don’t feel like it will help. we must fight anyway in any and every way we can.

[tallhatjosie]

Criminal

[ghost-spiders]

even as an australian how am i meant to go to school today and live normally when my friends and in danger and my rights are as well because if you think australian politics don’t follow the usa’s u are wrong

[inniave]

:(

[miguenhasthoughts]

07/14

I cried in the shower today. I’m meant to be strong and I can’t show weakness in front of Sam or they would melt in an instant. This country is so fucked. Yet I must hide my tears and fears. How is it fair, how is it fucking fair for horrible people to threaten my way of living? For them to harm the necessities in my life just because they view me less than human. HRT is the one thing that made me feel complete and happy with myself and actually come out as a person I love and all that’s in danger because a horrible person almost got killed? I don’t see how that should affect how people see his policies… I’m just so distraught and scared and I hate it so much. I keep seeing online where people in the trans community begging their fellow trans person to “live no matter what, we must live!” And I agree but it’s so heartbreaking that I have to fight for my freedoms at every point in my life. When can we just be?! When can we just exist?! When can we be openly ourselves with no repercussions?!

I should write my normal diary entry but I’ll do that at another date. Today I’m mourning my future until I see the vitals are still active.

[n1ghtw1ng-scp]

please someone get me out i cant do this anymore i cant

[kabhi-kabhi-aditii]

i am fighting

my losses

trauma

and everything bringing ache

because i don’t want

to look in the mirror

and see a tragedy staring back

fuvk this is so relatable like i dont want to be a tragedy i just want to live and somehow i can't even do that i feel like i'm falling again and looking in the mirror is so scary whatif i see everything i am trying to hide or bury behind this fake facade? whatif i see the little girl in me who wanted to just be happy?

[stellaralignment]

had my third breakdown over career/university worries in as many days. Gotta love when a professor asking you what job you hope to get gives you an existential crisis because you honestly don't believe it's even possible for you to get any job that you studied for.

If you can even make it to graduation.

[fraye-complex]

I'm trying to get the information I need to apply for disability assistance and the more I read the more I feel like I'm going to be sick

The fact that I already have to rely on people and suck away their resources means I don't need about 30% of the help they might have considered giving me.

I'm not surprised, I know the system is a fucking nightmare, but I was clinging to the delusion that these systems were put in place to help people like me, but I just get to be reminded it's really just there to keep me busy fighting until I keel over, and only consider giving the bare fucking minimum I need to maybe survive.

I'm so fucking tired. My world is disintegrating around me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

I don't even know where to go for help trying to figure this out anymore.