#i don't mean to just 'kill her off'

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[teyrnacousland]

I've seen the headcanon that Lucanis' mother, Caterina's perfect heir, was actually similar to Illario in some ways. That she was calculating, ruthless, ambitious, obedient... all the things Caterina overlooks in Illario because Caterina sees her favourite daughter's deep brown eyes and quiet, controlled demeanor and careful planning in Lucanis.

But I am also attached to the idea that the opposite is true too. That Illario's mother shared similarities with Lucanis; that she was empathetic and stubborn, with a slight rebellious streak. But she was always outgoing and charming, was more impulsive with her emotions, and was always sharper with her tongue than with a sword, so Caterina only sees her in Illario.

I just love the idea that Caterina can't look beyond the surface and see who her grandsons really are because on some level she can't see past the ghosts reflected in their eyes. She can't see that the quiet brown eyed boy is is more of the gentle hearted rebel, and the one with blue eyes and a shining, fake smile is the ruthless leader who would do anything she asked.

[tackykachowch]

This is what they should've added to Jinx's design in season 2. Btw

UPD: I also want to add this screenshot of my tags on my first ever post about Jinx because I still agree with what I said

[chiyana]

Bruce: now, for the last part of this meeting

Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian, Cass, and Duke: ?

Bruce: -turns around to bring up a power point presentation, the title card of which just reads 'Please Be Normal About Tim'-

Bruce: -turns back around-

Bruce: ...Tim why are you the only one still here

Tim: I just like power point presentations

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

I thought Michonne and Andrea were gay when we were introduced to that whole situation

ref

[tapakah0]

[vampirehizzies]

i know that logically movies can't just include every single detail from the books but the hunger games movies always have a special talent for taking out my really favorite scenes specifically and it's funny

[anchoredgalaxy]

a court of silver flames gets the award for book where i've said "god i wish everyone in this book would die" the most

[sskk-manifesto]

┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

[yashley]

you ever think about how a choice that wasn’t even really a choice for fearne, but her being the only one with the ability to perform the ritual that made it her* choice as everyone around her buckled to try to help her out of that situation and the ramifications of that choice that she had scarred her so deeply that now she is terrified of making another mistake that will dramatically affect the people around her who she loves, and then when another situation followed, she was led into a situation that she did not want to be a part of, but under the veil of friendship reluctantly assisted and it blew up literally once again, took that overwhelming burden of guilt and while her friends stood by and once more let her be alone in her guilt and scarred her further.

now it feels like she can’t make any choice for herself, she can’t make any move because that will ultimately inevitably lead to her making a mistake and all of her precious friends will look down at her in disappointment and that there is not a single friend amongst them who has the emotional wherewithal to what’s happening with how fearne has changed and how she is shutting in on herself and how she is slowly imploding breaking at the seams because she’s being lost in the sea of guilt and no one else notices and no one else sees that she feels like she can’t do anything anymore from the smallest carefree little action that has no plot repercussions to a character centered decision that is integral to her own character arc that has been in the works for her character since the campaign’s conception

now she can’t even say anything, and if fearne does have an idea to do something. She quietly mutters it, and if they hear her they hear her enough to respond that ehhh that's not a good plan and that’s not gonna work and we’re not gonna do that. We’re gonna do this and fearne being fearne, trusting in her friends and doubting herself to the point of despair will nod her head that they were right and then we go on with our day until the next moment happens where she wants to think of something, she wants to do something, and it’s dismissed as the silly dumb fearne not thinking, that She has her own thoughts and feelings, and drives and desires but because she is drowning in doubt and drowning in guilt, She freezes up and doesn’t move and everyone around her just pushes her on, and even in the moment where she is faced with the situation that she is terrified of undertaking, and she is terrified of becoming a Nightmare version of herself her friends push her forward, her friends dust off her shoulders say your doubt is misplaced, and don’t worry about it and you need to do this, it should be you. This is for you.

They just completely dismiss and ignore her when she actually does speak up so what does that do? that means that she remains silent. She doubts herself more. She even more will only make a decision if it’s signed off by all these fucking people around her who claim to be her friends. she can’t even move without frantically looking to people around her for confirmation that that’s a good idea she’s not gonna fuck up. Everything about her that was supposed to be free and fun and sweet has just rendered her into a character who feels like they have as much agency as characters who would be absent for the majority of the campaign.

shes been so chained up by doubt and so chained up by guilt and hesitation and fear that she just is a person who affirms everyone else’s desires and ideas because what she wants will inevitably end up being horrible and everyone will hate her for it and they’ll leave

and it’s like if they deem fearne even capable enough to be the vessel she will leap at the chance to be useful and to be told her path and it’s like. fearne was ruidusborn first. how has this campaign done such a disservice to her character that the only thing fearne is certain of is that she doesn’t really matter. she’s a ruidusborn and holds a primordial titan of fire inside her, and she still believes she doesn’t really count are you kidding me

[smile-files]

at the end of the day... suitcase and marshmallow are cool as hell (whatever is going on with knife)

[bitegore]

if your ocs were bosses in a video game, what do you think their boss fight would be like?

[itsmistyeyedbi]

And the kiss! (in addition to this)

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I'm not tagging this because the tags are just me rambling about my thoughts on what a says here. I guess it could be t/w/c critical? But barely I think lol.

[memento-morri-writes]

I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:

tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries

He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.

[yzafre]

Kairi, Namine, Xion, and using their words

So KH has a lot of characters that are off-shoots of previous ones, and it can be fun to look for the parallels and the difference. While trying to figure out Kairi's "voice", I found it interesting to compare how the three "Kairi variations" used their words when experiencing overwhelming or negative emotions. How they handle these moments are very interesting.

Let's look at three memorable quotes by them, to show what I mean:

"Sora, let's take the raft and go. Just the two of us!"

Everyone talks about this line at some point. Like, what a weird thing for Kairi to say when we're still being introduced to her character! Riku's supposed to be her friend too, right?

Well, let's look at the context - not of everything that's going on around them, but of the conversation. What does she say right before?

"You know, Riku has changed."

Okay, so she's thinking about the ways Riku has been different now - probably in a way that upset or scares her. As other's have noticed, Kairi isn't as interested in leaving the islands (a safe place) as the others - an aversion to uncomfortable things. Riku is her friend, but it's not unbelievable a part of her wants to get away from whatever the change is that scares her.

So she has this mixed feeling about Riku, she tries to bring it up but ends up dancing around it, which Sora does not understand, obviously. Then, instead of explaining what she means, just jumps like, 10 steps ahead.

What this implies to me is that Kairi doesn't want to face this (any?) complex negative emotion head on. Maybe because it's her own fear and resentment? There's an element of avoidance of repression, here.

And then! And then as soon as it's out she immediately backtracks. Immediately laughs it off. "Just kidding!"

That makes it seem to me that her line about the raft was involuntary. She did not think ahead, maybe didn't even mean to say that at all, certainly regretted it as soon as she said it. It is definitely an expression of an honest, maybe a bit ugly, emotion she's experiencing, but is not the full context. It's certainly not the root of the issue. She's still dancing around it.

To summarize: either low levels of understanding of what she's feeling or some kind of repression, and involuntary use of words (meaning just about anything can come out)

"Nobody needs to keep a bunch of memories that aren't real, right?"

Oh, Namine. So we all agree this is a bit passive-aggressive, right? But also, I think, a bit genuine.

She is very aware that she caused this situation, and that she hurt Sora first. She's trying to acknowledge that she understands, but... she just can't help giving it a passive-aggressive edge.

Namine is all about repression (and also self-loathing, but that's not this conversation). She basically spends her entire life in a cage, having to make herself small. If we extrapolate even further, she probably spends a lot of time in her head thinking about her own situation and maybe even her feelings. That awareness could even be seen as a survival skill, in her situation.

She knows she did wrong and she knows she's upset. She tries to prioritize one over the other - but unsuccessfully.

So what we get with Namine is high awareness of her feeling, and an attempt to use her words constructively, but her control slips and some involuntary messaging slips through.

"So, do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?"

Xion uses her works like knives, seriously. There's a hint of this in her "Or what? They'll turn me into a dusk?" line with Axel, but I thought I'd use this quote instead.

I think I maybe mentioned this in another post somewhere, but in conflict Xion has a conversational pattern that goes "soft soft soft GOES FOR YOUR THROAT" that shows up multiple times throughout Days.

So, set-up for this conversation. Xion is suddenly getting a lot of answers and thus processing a lot of information, a lot of which I think confirms her own brand of self-loathing.

But what she turns around and says is not about her feelings (... on the surface, we'll get around to that), it's about provoking the other person.

It would be entirely understandable for Riku to be upset wither her, which would possibly stand as a threat, and she tries to confront that head on to get a reaction out of him.

She has enough awareness to know what she wants, and that she's feeling cornered, but the exact phrasing she used is interesting considering her situation:

Do you hate me for taking your friend away?

Because before she got these answers, what she already knew was that she could end up hurting Roxas. Realistically, this could be a question she'd want to ask Axel:

Will you hate me if I take our friend away.

And I do think she knows that's what she's afraid of, deep down, but she's too scared to actually ask (keeps running away). What I don't think she's aware of is that she's using Riku as a proxy, here. I think she's just trying to control the conversation.

So, with Xion we have: mixed levels of emotional awareness, but high control of her use of words.

Maybe it doesn't mean much, but I find it interesting. They all will say the most insane things under pressure, but it comes out in very different ways, with very different intent.

Kairi, who will avoid till things get too much then blurt things out involuntarily, then try to take it back.

Namine, who will try to control the narrative but can't stop keep the edge of passive-aggressiveness out.

Xion, who would rather go on the attack before you can hurt her first.