#i don't like to get too personal here but it's nice to have something good happen for once yknow

[dont-touch-the-phlebotinum]

WIP Wednesday

here's some 8x18 spec that i am definitely not gonna finish before the episode comes out, because everyone's 'buck should leave the 118!' posts have got me 👀

tagging everyone who's got something they'd like to share.

"So where are you gonna go?" Tommy says as he hands Buck a beer and takes a seat beside him — not close, not the way they used to curl up together on this couch, a movie on in the background and Tommy listening intently to him talk about… well, something stupid, probably. But Tommy cared all the same. His tone is measured, careful not to let his own feelings show. Something he's too good at, but Buck's grateful for it this time. He's not looking for someone to talk him out of this. He just needs someone to understand.

It's strange to think that even after everything that went wrong between them, Tommy's still the only person who does.

"I don't know. Figured I'd head up the coast, see where life takes me after that."

He can read the question on Tommy's face without him even needing to ask it.

"I quit the 118." He can't help the tremble in his voice as he says it. Tommy's eyebrows inch further towards his hairline, but he doesn't say anything, like he knows Buck's been holding this all in for so long it'll choke him if he doesn't finally let it out. "Without Bobby it's… it's not the same. We're not the same. And I've been trying, but I don't know how to get it back. It's like the harder I try to hold on the more they pull away."

"People grieve in different ways," says Tommy. "Which don't always play nice with each other. It sucks."

"Yeah. It does." He takes a long pull of his beer, lets the flavour wash some of the bitter taste from his throat. "Bobby told me they'd need me, but they don't. Honestly, it feels like they don't even want me," he says, blinking away the tears that prickle at his eyes. "I know I'm letting him down."

"You're not." Tommy shifts closer, reaches between them to take Buck's hand in his own, big and rough and still holding Buck like he's something to be treasured. "Bobby loved you, Evan. Whatever you need to do right now, I know he'd support you."

Buck offers him a small, grateful smile, and squeezes Tommy's hand in return.

[dandysworld-meh-imagines]

Astro with a Sun Reader

Inspired by these lyrics from a Brazillian song [Translated]

The Sun decided to propose to the Moon

And the Moon, she said: Don't know, don't know, don't know

Give me a second

Astro With A Sun Reader Inspired By Some Lyrics!

I decided to make it something that the sun reader confesses (while also some headcanons with a sun reader)? I hope this is okay, dear anon, I didn't have many ideas for this. Here you go, thank you for requesting! <3

I also know someone who would REALLY like this, you know who you are <333

-Anna

-Something about Astro being the moon while you were the sun was something you really liked and found cool. It was something others noticed too and even talked about it with you two, finding it a pretty cool thing. Astro would have this soft moonlight around him when it got dark and you would have this warm sunlight instead. Astro's aura was soft, a bit cold but it felt comforting and so did your own, as you provided warmth and a feeling of safety to others, you two really were like day and night. He thought it was pretty cool and you find it amazing. He was someone that really intrigued you, funnily enough.

-Compared to Astro, you were pretty cheerful and often seen smiling, radiating this soft warm feeling around you when someone interacted with you. Astro was more quiet, usually preferring to take naps or read a book or two in the book club, spending time doing something quietly and you? You just had fun talking to the others, checking up on them with a happy smile. It was interesting to witness, honestly. It was also funny as you were literally a morning person and Astro was a night person, matching with the fact you are a sun and he is a moon toon. It's like the actual sun and moon itself came as the form of toons.

-Your dynamic with Astro was also a nice sight to witness. You know that Listener X Yapper trend? That's what basically it was with you two. Astro is a fantastic listener that replies here and there, hearing your words carefully even if they are a lot while you rambled about everything random. If you talked a lot and it was day, Astro really does try to stay awake but sometimes his eye is fighting sleep. It's not that he finds your talks boring or anything, he finds it comforting enough to sleep to your voice, showing you he was comfortable. You didn't mind though! You knew he was saving energy and power to give everyone nice dreams, after all!

-His company was something you find yourself longing more and more and loved to hang out with him. Even if he wasn't talking as much as the others, you genuinely didn't mind. Something about Astro felt.. really nice to be around with. Astro even threw good dreams at you which you got super excited about. He would even have to use his powers on you to make you sleep JUST because you were super excited to see some awesome dreams and couldn't get sleepy at all! You giggled and moved your feet happily whenever Astro got his powers ready to make you extremely sleepy. He found himself having a small smile when you did that, it felt nice seeing you so excited.

-Since you like to spend so much time with him, Astro makes an effort during the day to not fall so much asleep but he finds it difficult when you have this warmth and it reminds him when he covers himself in his trusty big warm blanket. Instead, he likes to chill with you during your dreams or even stick close as you have fun around or even just observe you from afar. If you want to sit down and talk with him, he has more energy and can listen to you for way longer now. He still likes to check in with the other's dreams but he definitely spends the most time in yours, just relaxing with you.

-You and him definitely grow closer and closer and really do enjoy each other's company, even if you have different levels of energy. Your soft light comfort each other with Astro finding comfort in your warm sunlight and you find it calming when his moonlight hits your face. You two hang out almost every single day but you also do hang out with your other fellow friends! You are someone who is bright and likes seeing others smile, after all! A smile from Astro is something that automatically makes you happy as well, even if his own is small, it's always nice to see!

-Astro does feel something for you but doesn't know what exactly it is. You, on the other hand? You caught on much earlier compared to Astro. You didn't know if you should confess or not, especially when you see that he smiles a lot more with you and his cheeks look deeper in color a lot as well. One day you decided to do it and confess to him, he stayed quiet as he listened to you talk about how you were feeling about him. If he doesn't feel the same, you just said that it was alright but you felt like he should know. Astro stayed quiet as he felt his heart race and his cheeks grew more warmer.

-Astro thinks about it as he looks concerned. He simply tells you that he needs time, he doesn't know if he feels the same yet. He is not exactly rejecting you but not exactly accepting it? If that makes sense? He knows he feels something.. he just isn't sure if it's romantic. The answer gets you thinking but you definitely give him more time to think it over. He has a soft tone as he talks to you about it too, Astro is also surprised but he doesn't show any negative emotions to you feeling that way for him.

-It takes him a good while but when he comes back, he is blushing, saying that he thought about it and finally understood that he feels the same way as you. This gets you very happy and you try to contain your excitement and not overwhelm him with a huge hug. You two spend the day together, just slowing down and relaxing, taking the time to explore these new feelings together. Astro thanks you for waiting for him and he wants to see where it goes and how his life will look with you as his beloved partner. You both take your time, with slow stuff like holding hands and everything.

-Astro always sticks around you and loves to hold your hand or even give you his spare stuff (though you are already warm enough). He feels more nice after he finally understood what he was feeling for you all this time, he really likes listening to you and leaning against you. Your every day life with him is even better now that you two know how you feel for each other and he is very happy to have you by his side. The others find it adorable as you are the sun and he is the moon. Astro feels a lot for you and truly does deeply love you.

Thank you for reading! <3

[aardvaark]

leverage rewatch: s1e6 "the miracle job"

its cute that they're all being invited to sophie's plays apparently, though clearly it's not so much as invitation as it is an obligation lol. but it's cute she wants them there and they all go and try to pretend it was good. i mean, parker says "it was like a horror movie" lmao but that seems to be her attempt at praising it.

eliot saying that sophie's play was THE worst night of his life, including times he was actually tortured, is always hilarious to me.

the first maggie mention!! she's the one who calls nate to tell him that his priest friend paul is in hospital.

nate thinking he has to convince the team to take the case (since it's kinda a personal favor to a friend after all), but they're all very much in already! they're well and truly past needing to be convinced. and we're only at ep 6. compare this to the wedding job, ep 3, when nate doesn't want to take the job and they all (besides sophie) want to bail partway through.

eliot being excited to take hardison to face a gang. "let's get you out in some fresh air. get you off the computer. come on!". love that his argument is that getting into a fight would be good for hardison's health.

hardison: i rappelled! did no one see me rappel?? sophie: i heard about it. on the one hand she's saying that to soothe him, which seems sweet, but on the other hand, she's likely only doing that to encourage him to leave with eliot to face that gang lol. this season especially, many of her nice gestures tend to be either a little manipulative or shallow. which just makes sense - she's spent her life looking out only for herself, ultimately alone no matter how many people are around her. her default mode is to manipulate people into what she wants them to do, without even thinking about whether that's necessary or hurtful. it's just her job. it's gonna take a lot more than six episodes to change a lifetime of ingrained beliefs about other people and the world.

hardison gets to punch someone!! not only does he notice the guy's shoulder being off, he also knows it's dislocated, where nate just sad it was "messed up". i love seeing hardison apply his intelligence to problems outside hacking, cause it really goes to show how he's so quick-thinking and a genius in any situation.

for the record, gina bellman spent her early childhood in aotearoa, so i can only assume she's doing a decent job of the kiwi accent.

also i love when sophie looks all offended when the marks don't immediately play into her con lol, even though she's well aware this mark would likely brush her off - that's the whole point of setting up the elevator con. but she still makes this face like "uh! wowww, rude," lol.

who let parker choose the drugs to give this guy lmao?? like of course she laced them with speed, that's on the rest of the team for assuming she'd stick to just caffeine. when has she ever done anything by halves?

and that pays off a few mins later when nate says "parker, i need you to go to the hospital and keep father paul there no matter what [pause] up to a point" lol. he's learning. doesn't help that she has the most evil grin ever when he says that lmao.

and THEN it immediately turns out that parker took his words as permission to poke the priest with needles and take his blood. i wonder what she did with his blood...

hardison being able to make those fake statues too! he is ridiculously talented.

sophie having to remind nate that he never actually cheated on maggie is a little funny to me. and he's saying he was tempted and acting like he did something terrible and she's just like "dude i was there". but that scene's also so very bittersweet cause at this point she really is just waiting for him and here she tells him not to take too long, and, well...

i like how the actor playing this week's mark really takes the comic evil to its logical extreme. he looks feverish almost, in a frenzy. and the team has psychologically destroyed him and he's STILL coming up with new plans for bibletopia, probably the most capitalist hellscape christian-flavored invention imaginable. on that note, i also liked the priest and his arguments with nate, which you can tell comes from frustration with wanting to help a grieving, depressed friend who won't help himself. good guests this episode.

"it's the vatican" *parker, hardison & eliot immediately disappear*. i love the little implication there that they've each wronged the holy see at some point, enough to run off.

okay 1) the team using the confessional as a hiding spot, love it, and 2) parker refers to the confessional as "that closet" lol. apparently she knows that zeus is a god who strikes people down with lightning, but she doesn't know what a confessional is. i love how it's pretty much impossible to predict what things are within her realm of knowledge.

parker as an angel!

i LOVE the arc that the mark's assistant, tomas, has over the course of this episode. yes, good, take down your boss!!

sophie dropping the accent! god that really makes her scary. it's like she's saying, "just to be clear, the last few days have been a complete and utter lie, and there's no one who's got your back".

i like the way the team all watch nate light a candle (something catholics do for the dead), sincerely sombre. probably partly feeling for nate, partly thinking of their own grief. parker watches especially carefully, and takes a big breath in like she's overwhelmed. makes me think of how she suppresses her grief over her brother and so much loss she's experienced in her life.

eliot seems to put a hand on nate's shoulder as they exit the church. he also knows a thing or two about grief.

[vyladerz]

Ah season 10, I certainly have feelings. So after watching season 10 I took a long needed break. I was letting this show consume too much of my time and I felt like I needed to come back with an updated perspective. I'm just gonna yap away now without trying to cut anything out, just my unfiltered thoughts like no one's reading.

-Demon Dean. Oh hell yeah. Definitely the highlight of this season for me. It's so unfair that I have to let go of Dean's overgrown hair. I'm so glad he was put in reds and blacks in terms of his wardrobe, man does it suit him so well. He's everything I hoped for and more when it came to demon Dean. I love the hints of humanity you see within him, I'm glad the real him manages to shine through somehow. Those details are powerful for a character who doesn't believe he has many redeeming qualities. It made me appreciate the best parts of Dean that make him so well rounded, the love he shares in small unassuming ways and the selfless pain he endures for the ones he loves. His misogynistic attitude as a demon really made me want Dean go back to normal. Similar to when souless Sam kept pushing his asshole behavior, just made me appreciate these characters more. The only underwhelming part of the demon Dean arc was the ritual scene. Didn't have the same kick as Crowley's, too quick with not enough emotional tension. Also why did the mark of Cain arc go nowhere for so long? I love some good filler but there should've been priorities with such a high stakes plotline.

-Castiel. Well it's sorta his paragraph, just his relationships so far. His dynamic with Hannah was nice. Didn't love nor hate it, just felt sorta awkward at times. I did like Hannah's adjustment to humanity and her growing appreciation for it overtime. My favorite instance of this is when she realized she had robbed her human vessel of their rightful autonomy and choose to let go. Which inspired Cas to make amends with Claire. Giving us a sweet father and daughter duo between the two. I don't get the Claire Novak distain personally, I find her and her relationship with Castiel endearing. Sometimes she can be a bit overkill with the angst but that doesn't deter me from appreciating her. There's not much else for me to note for Castiel on his own cause he wasn't given anything, well noteworthy to do. Last season he was passive for good reason but now I found myself patiently twiddling my thumbs, waiting for my king to do something. As long as the next season doesn't continue this trend then I'm good.

-Rowena. I've been dying for her appearance since I started watching during the earlier seasons. I'm a sucker for a gorgeous manipulative witch. I hope this show gives her more to work with besides her relation to Crowley. Her side plots that involved Crowley were less than favorable. A whole lot of nothing happening but now that she's back on her own by the end, I have hope.

Rant time.

-Crowley. I've noticed a concerning trend with Crowley that has been rearing it's ugly head blatantly this season. This show has stopped trying to make him a powerful threat and instead, a sad caricature of himself. Yes he is a silly guy and was first introduced as such. He is also a scheming bastard that would do anything to achieve his goals as the KING of hell no matter what. Now the whole Crowley becoming vulnerable due to being injected with human blood has a fair argument here. IF it was done intentionally and in favor of his character. However that is not the case. Almost every time Crowley shows vulnerability it doesn't show intrigue into his psyche rather just makes him look like an idiot with no foresight whatsoever. Everyone talks about Castiel's lobotomy but I'm here witnessing Crowley's and I feel like I'm going insane watching this iconic character get turned into a shell of his former self. I'd lose all hope if it weren't for that brilliant scene in episode 22 'The Prisoner.' Thank god that scene exists or I would've lost faith.

-Charlie & 'Dark Dynasty'. So this is easily my least favorite episode from Supernatural. (Ignoring last season's objectively worse episode 'Bloodlines') I had put off ranking season 10 mostly because I knew I had to revisit this episode. Well now I'm going to stop stalling. Fuck whatever the stupid Frankenstein and Nazi thing was. They were devoid of anything remotely interesting. Moving on. The character interactions this episode were so stiff and unbelievable. (I'm blaming most of that on the dialogue and pacing.) Each character felt completely dumbed down. Charlie leaving to an easily trackable motel, Castiel doing nothing, Rowena bitching too much this time, Crowley doing demon chores or whatever, and Sam having to babysit fully grown adults while Dean is...well there. None of that compares to what they did to my dear Charlie. Oh why oh why oh why did they kill her???? Her death served NO PURPOSE. "Actions have consequences teehee" AHHHHH I'm losing my mind all over again.

Oh Charlie you deserved so much better. When I say I genuinely have not cried this hard to a stupid shock value type of death before. I mean I had to turn away from my screen and stare at the wall while the next episode continued. I felt nothing for the burning of her body because there was no emotion in the scene except for resentment and rage. How am I supposed to care after there's been so many of these pointless salt and body burning scenes?

The real take away.

-Sam's devotion and drive towards saving Dean is something I really appreciate here especially in stark contrast to him not searching for Dean in purgatory. (Hey this sounds like my season 9 review) Gaining a better perspective after finishing this season, Sam lying and isolating himself from others is very much in character. This version of him descending into a frantic panic by searching for a way to save Dean parallels him in season 3. Boy oh boy do things get scary when Sam starts to lose control. (Mystery Spot mentioned?) I haven't seen this layer of deep unfettered rage from Sam since the early seasons 1-4. It's also clear that the brotherly resolve from the season 8 finale hasn't totally healed Sam of his emotional scars. That guilt is still haunting him and the heavy burden of the mark isn't just on Dean. It's kind of poetic actually how Sam seems to have a greater gradual downfall than Dean, the one with the actual mark.

-"Close your eyes Sammy." This show will put me through heaven and hell through an entire season and then manage to yank my heart out by the season finale each time. I don't really have words for this part. The final episode, 'Brothers Keeper' has a crushing emotional scene that just keeps the tears flowing in a good way. Dean being this close to taking Sam's life felt inevitable from the moment John told him he would have to. I completely lost it when Sam showed Dean the photos and told him to hold on to them. What a cruel show, I should know this by now. I wasn't kidding by having no words left but sometimes that's the best compliment to give.

Even though I'd say this would be one of my absolute least favorite seasons I wouldn't drop this show ever. Plus this season still has a lot of great episodes overall so I still count it as a win. I seriously couldn't imagine ever wanting to drop this show for any reason. At the end of the day it's just a show and although I was fairly upset before, that really never compares to how much love and appreciation I have for it.

[crowleytakethewheel]

About Crowley's angelic identity

So here's my two cents to Crowley's identity/name theories. Now, I'm rather new to the fandom, so feel free to correct me if there's something already debunked in here. I also haven't read that many theories myself, so apologies if I'm just repeating things already said (I will reference some theories I have heard of too). Anyway, this is very long and rambly, so be warned!

Since we know Crowley was definitely a higher up angel, I'm leaning on that heavily, and will be talking about this in detail in the part about Lucifer, if you wish to jump to some theories I have so far not seen anywhere (not to say nobody else has thought of them or discussed about them, simply that I haven't seen anyone talking about them myself yet).

Now, starting with Raphael, who seems to be the most commonly theorized name. Now, I can see this being the case, but at the same time it does seem a bit too simple, which is why I would be rather surprised. Personally I prefer the idea that Raphael doesn't exist - technically. I've seen some ideas of him being Crowley's alter ego, but I don't really buy that either. What I believe is that he is Aziraphale, and the name "Raphael" comes from the fact that Aziraphale has a ridiculously difficult and long name that people would just simply misshear or missremember, and then write it to match the OTHER known angelic names like Gabriel and Michael. They remember something about raphel? Uhhh make it match the others, so Raphael. The parts about Raphael sometimes being shown with red hair and black wings are simply Crowley getting caught doing something good by humans, and then claiming to be Aziraphale so he wouldn't be found out. This would explain why Aziraphale is never mentioned by name in any texts, and perhaps also why he eventually decided to just call himself Mr. Fell. His name is hard. Bonus points for this would be that all of this kinda foreshadows the ending of s2 with him becoming the Supreme Archangel, so that is also nice even if it would just be a happy accident.

Next we have Astaroth. In short, we've already been shown a demon with this name (the one that brings Furfur the clicker in s2e4, image below). On top of that, Astaroth is a name of a demon, not an angel, so it would be a bit weird since Crowley's demon name is, well, Crowley.

Now, Lucifer. I believe it has been stated that Satan is Lucifer, so Crowley isn't, BUT that is not directly what I'm here to talk about. Instead I'm going to point to something else that might give us some Clues. See, Lucifer has been credited for at least some things that Crowley has done (snake in Eden, showing Jesus all the kingdoms of the world), in a way that has essentially erased Crowley's existence from the whole christian lore. He's not mentioned even once, unlike Aziraphale, who, even if my earlier theory about Raphael is wrong, has been mentioned in passing as the Angel of the Eastern Gate. But Crowley is suspiciously, completely missing, and his deeds have been given to Lucifer. Now, if you google Lucifer's rank, there seems to be a lot of arguments about it. Some say Seraphim, some Cherubim. This alone gives us some leeway into thinking that maybe, just maybe Lucifer WASN'T the previous Supreme Archangel, and while he was very high up, he wasn't the highest, and he just has been given the credit for being that to cover things up. Metatron states how casting one prince of heaven down to hell makes a good story, and surely it's a lot better story to have the said prince be the one leading the rebellion and becoming Satan, no? Crowley never meant to fall, Crowley by all accounts isn't actually evil or malicious, so why not just credit Lucifer for everything Crowley was, wipe Crowley's memory, and pretend he wasn't anyone too important? After all, we can't have someone like Crowley be a big influence on demons given he likes asking questions and skirting around the status quo. And what of the angels that would hear about the previous prince of heaven falling for asking too many sensible questions and not actually being evil? It's better for heaven to just tweak the reality a little bit and make sure everyone thinks the first prince was just evil and became Satan.

But what's the evidence for this? I'm going to start with this scene:

I made it start from the part where I am referring to the most. Gabriel says "However, I am the only First Order Archangel in the room, or, you know, the universe" AND THE CAMERA JUMPS TO CROWLEY. This is the only time during this scene that we get a closeup on Crowley alone; there's been some showing both Crowley and Muriel at the same time, but none that have been closeups like this, and none with just one of them. If this isn't a Clue, it's an odd choice, since Crowley isn't saying or doing anything here, he's not making a face or reacting or anything, he's just shown... for no reason. At all.

Then there's his memory loss, that while not completely obvious maybe partly because he's good at hiding it, it's still there. Not remembering Furfur is one thing if Furfur was a lower angel, that's understandable since Crowley was a higher up angel, because you will remember meeting a celebrity while the celebrity might not remember you. It's a bit odd still, given how hurt Furfur seemed, and how he described their time together; he made it sound like they used to be friends. But Crowley has no recollection of this. But, like I said, that could still be understandable. HOWEVER, Crowley not remembering Saraqael who he created a whole ass nebula with? AND who is very high up also, so not a random low level angel? On top of that, Saraqael looks very distinct, someone you would remember meeting, since nobody else has been shown to travel by a floating wheelchair. You will not just forget them, especially if you work closely with them. During this scene, Crowley also seems to deflect not remembering Saraqael by just making a joke about it "I meet a lot of people", which is a rather common thing to do when you feel insecure about something.

On the same note, Crowley also seems to understand it in a deeper level when Gabriel is describing his own memory loss with feeling like an empty house, since Crowley says "I know... looking at where the furniture isn't." You can take it as him just emphatizing with Gabriel, but to me it seems more like he actually gets it, and why he adds to Gabriel's metaphor like this. He recognizes the feeling, even if his situation isn't the same; he has some of his memories, but there's gaps, they didn't take everything, and maybe some things are also bleeding through like they do for Gabriel. For example, while you could say Crowley remembered Metatron at the end from the trial he saw in heaven, it's a bit weird Michael, Uriel, and Saraqael don't, which to me suggest Crowley has earlier, deeper memories about Metatron, some he might not actively remember, but enough to be able to maintain the image and recognize him. Something is there, since otherwise Muriel and Saraqael would have just as easily recognized Metatron as well, given they did watch the trial together just before. On top of that, Metatron very specifically asks Crowley if he recognizes him, which is a pretty whacky thing to do if Crowley were just some random demon, since not even the highest up angels can. Or Aziraphale, who has in fact directly spoken to him once. To me that question seems like a test to see if Crowley has started remembering too many things. Metatron also seems VERY familiar with who and what Crowley is, and not in the way that says "ew a demon", but in a personal, vendetta like manner.

I mean, just look at this absolute hatred. That's personal. As is his offer to Aziraphale after this. Metatron very clearly knows that Crowley would never take the offer to come back. Otherwise he wouldn't have offered it in the first place.

If Crowley was the first prince of heaven, it would also explain Aziraphale's reaction to him when they first met. Aziraphale was very much acting like an adoring fan from the start, clinging to Crowley's every word, and just being delighted that he was called upon to help. Crowley, however, didn't think that behaviour was weird in any way, meaning he was probably used to it already, and as such didn't feel the need to introduce himself either. I don't think he was just being rude by not telling his name to Aziraphale, since he did reply with "Nice meeting you", it's just that obviously Aziraphale already knew who he was. And that reaction from Aziraphale would work even if he, at the time, was a Cherubim like some theories say. Crowley would still be a massive celebrity.

If this is the case, someone has spent a lot of effort on it, since they would have to remove the memories of Crowley's original identity from the minds of every angel he has met, but then I'm sure Heaven has ways of doing so... as it's unlikely they would have let angels (and demons) to remember who Gabriel used to be either, had they managed to go through with the memory wipe on him. And Metatron seems just like the type of person to be petty enough to also alter the bible and other religious works to make sure Crowley isn't mentioned there either, and that specific mentions are instead credited to Satan. Maybe that is when he had "ingested things in his time" like he said to Aziraphale when giving him the coffee.

This all could still work if they decided to use the name Raphael, but personally I believe Seraphiel would work rather well thanks to the direct link to Metatron.

If you read all this, thank you! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[i-willstealyourtoes]

HELLO YOU 💐💛👋🏼

May I request something about Delta Squad if you don't mind? Anyone that comes across your mind (or all four really 👀), about how they like to have cuddles with you 💓 thanks!!

YEAHHHHH REP COMM!!!! I FUCKING LOVE DELTA SQUAD!!! Although I've not played it in a few months so forgive me if it's horribly OOC 😭 This also kinda turned into general physical affection HCs T-T

Cuddling with Delta Squad!!

Boss

Boss isn't one for copious amounts of PDA

Is it because he gets embarrassed? Because he wants to uphold a tough reputation? Most likely just because he doesn't feel a need for it all the time, that's all

But he will still keep a hand on your waist or hold your hand sometimes !! Just don't expect him to cling on or initiate all the time :,)

But that's neither here nor there, we're here to talk about how he cuddles

And when you're in private? He gets pretty physically affectionate

Maybe not as much as Sev or Scorch, but more often than not you'll find a pair of hands on your hips pulling you closer

He almost seems to bury himself in you, as if you're the only thing that keeps him sane

He loves his brothers and his job but god, can it be exhausting being a leader all the time

You're a bit of a refresher, hugging you is his way of de-stressing !!

His favourite place to hug you is anywhere in your home, like bed or on the couch :)

But to him, the best hugs are the ones where he comes home and immediately wraps his arms around you

"Missed you, cyare."

Although he might not say it out loud, he loves when you stroke his arms or the palms of his hands

Your hand is likely softer and/or smaller, so it's a nice change from his own skin, covered in scars and rougher skin (which you seem to adore more than he does)

If you're laying down, he likes to be the big spoon; he's protective okay leave him be :,)

Fixer

Fixer is even less willing to initiate PDA; he will at most allow the linking of fingers or short kiss on the cheek

Partly because he thinks it's unprofessional or whatever, but also because he knows his brothers will tease him endlessly if they see him blush or grin

Even in private, he can be a little shy about hugs and kisses !!

He's not used to having someone to be romantic and soft with

But once you introduce it, he's hooked

Slowly but surely he starts to seek you out more when the two of you are at yours, although if you tease him about it he might huff and fold his arms (he's a little embarrassed)

He starts off by just a simple squeeze, but eventually he'll hold on longer, preferring to press his face into your shoulder if possible

He will melt if you hold his face and stroke your thumbs under his eyes. Please do this.

Oh and kissing him all over his face? You might have to send this man to the hospital after the heart attack you've given him

He loves when you hold him, it makes him feel appreciated, like someone chose him and loves him :,)

His favourite place to hug is probably on the couch, watching a movie as the two of you casually hold one another

Initially, he prefers to be the big spoon but when you start offering to hold him against your chest? He realises how damn good it is.

As I've said before, he can be a little hesitant to ask, so instead expect him to just pull up and rest his forehead on your chest or shoulder :)

"...Thank you, ner cyare."

Sev

Sev however, is not shy about PDA. He will definitely initiate and accept any touches from you

He prefers to keep the more fluffy stuff in private though, so expect hands on your hips or even neck (gentle) in public (although he does that in private too), as well as kisses on the lips (and neck too)

But cuddles? It really depends.

I think - and forgive me if I'm wrong - Sev is also not too familiar with long term (romantic) relationships

He's had his occasional one-night stand, but nothing that would have him planning dates or visiting a person's house

So when you two become a bit more serious than he's familiar with, he's hesitant

Not that he doesn't like you or that he's having second thoughts, rather he doesn't really know how to do these things smoothly

But he's willing to learn !!

So when you start offering/requesting more innocent touches like hugs, he's down, just maybe not out of nowhere in public

Or at least, that's how it started...

After a few sneak hugs from you and him, he finds that he's more willing to do them in public too

Nothing big, just don't be surprised when he brings you close from behind :)

Oh and he loves to follow up with kisses on the back of your neck, maybe even a bit of biting (he teases, okay)

He loves hugging you in bed, both before and after sleep !!

And more often than not, he's the big spoon, unless something bad has happened

As he becomes more certain in your relationship with him, he loves when you run up to hug him, or even greet him with a big squeeze as soon as he shows

"Missed me that much, mesh'la?"

Scorch

Sev likes PDA; Scorch cannot get enough of it

You don't even have to introduce it to him, if anything you'll probably have to tell him to hold back

Because he won't, and more often than not he'll have a hand or his lips on you

Holding hands, around your shoulders, on your hip, whatever it is he's desperate for any contact

I think all of Delta Squad aren't used to intimate long-term relationships, but Scorch adapts quicker than the others

Even with short term partners he can be quite physically affectionate, so when you tell him about cuddling and that, he's absolutely down

"You're telling me I get to cling on to you like a needy tooka? Yeah... yeah, I won't say no to that."

And cling he does.

Even in private he's quick to hold you at any - and every - point, especially when you're in the middle of something

Why? Because he's annoying and can't get enough of the only person that treats him like this.

His favourite time to hold you is when you're cooking.

"Scorch, I can't cook if you keep clinging to me like this-"

"Aw, come on babe. You can multitask?"

He's a bit of a sucker for bathing together though, he will absolutely keep you in the bath for as long as humanly possible

All of them give pretty tight hugs, but if you ask Scorch for a hug be prepared because he will wrap his arms around your head and bring you as close as possible to his chest

Oh, also he's totally down to be big or little spoon !! He likes holding you close to his chest, but having you bring his head to your chest? It's one of the most comforting things in the world to him :))

[lostmotivation2draw]

1st Semifinal ✨Opinions✨

So yesterday was Eurovision's first semifinal and I just wanted to give my opinions on it

For starters the big 5 did amazing. I don't really like Spain's song but the staging was really good. Italy was AMAZING like I know they've sent better things but I love how the put subtitles so people understood the meaning of the song and THE HARMONICA?? LIVE??? Like he played it LIVE I'm dying. And Switzerland was so good, I like the song and Zöe really defended it well live, I do feel bad because of the camera malfunction but that's not really a problem if the final goes well so yeah, fingers crossed.

✨Opinions about each country's performance✨

• Iceland!? Hello!? The level up they had from the National!? I love this song so much and I was worried that the staging could be way too simple or way too overboard (You never know with Eurovision) but no they did AMAZING

• Poland was something. To be honest I only watched half of the performance because of personal reasons I wasn't able to see all of it and I'll just take advantage of that and wait to be surprised this Saturday. So yeah no review for you yet :D

• Slovenia did amazing, I'm not really a fan of ballads but Klemen does it so well this is one of my favorite songs this year. I am glad they kept the weird upside down part, do I know why it's there? The symbolism? Hell no I just find it cool and I don't need more reasons

• Estonia was good, I like the little gag with the stage invader thing, that was funny. Kind of disappointed by Tommy Cash's vocals but luckily this song doesn't really need them so it's totally fine.

• Ukraine actually did better than I expected in the best way possible. I do like the song a lot but the rehearsal photos didn't give me a really good vibe BUT BOY WAS I WRONG! I loved this from start to finish, the whole performance felt like a fever dream and I'm here for it

• SWEDEN YES MY WINNERS KAJ YOU'RE AMAZING I'VE HAD THIS SONG ON REPEAT SINCE IT CAME OUT. Now getting serious I'm glad the kept the staging almost the same as in the NF, don't fix what's perfect. I love you Mäns Zermerlöw but this guys NEEDED to go for Sweden

• Portugal did good, the song is nice and somehow when I saw their performance I felt like I knew this guys my whole life. Like I almost cry when the audience cheered in the middle of the song and I saw the way the singer's face lit up, like, I want to hug the whole of NAPA just let meee

• Norway was great as expected, Kyle Alessandro is a legend, he's iconic and I'm totally not biased in the fact that he's Spanish nono. But yeah it wasn't revolutionary, there was fire and usual Eurovision stuff (Because lighter duh) but overall I liked it.

• Belgium was another that did better than I was expecting. Mostly cause I thought I would fucking get epilepsy for life when I saw it but that's not the point. Red Sebastian really defended the song and the choreo was cool. I would say the only thing I didn't really like about it was THE RED. Like I know you're RED SEBASTIAN and that's like your thing but my eyes dude. Apart from that really good.

• Azerbaijan wasn't bad. I expected it kinda, again I like the song but the staging was sure something. To be honest my full attention was on the dancers cause tf were they doing. The song itself, good, the staging, weird.

• San Marino had me worried to be honest. I know they aren't exactly the richest country in the world but damn I don't know a couple dancers would have been cool. But yeah happy cheery lighthearted performance that'll get people dancing and representing a culture, that's what Eurovision's about.

• Albania was amazing. The color scheme, the vocals, everything. It was perfect Albania learned from last year I was worried they would do a weird English revamp of the song but NO and I applaud them for that

• Netherlands was the typical Eurovision song performance and song wise. Not mad about it though, what works works and it did for them so that's good

• Croatia's song is SO UNDERRATED in my opinion, I loved the vibe, I loved the song and I loved everything. But yeah I guess people had enough of half creepy half cute stuff with Ireland last year

• Cyprus was INCREDIBLE. The staging? 10/10, Theo Evan? 10/10, song? 10/10. Loved it start no finish. I was worried for the staging because Cyprus the last years has been really simple BUT THEY WON WITH THIS IT'S SO GOOD

✨ Interval opinions✨

I'll talk about the opening and ending too but yeah

The opening was nice, I don't have a lot to say about it something you would expect from Eurovision. It was cool but not something you would remember for years.

THE INTERVAL. It's was GREAT, I'm not joking when I say that I was watching this with my family and I said "omg they're trying to pull a Petra Mëde" AND FREAKING PETRA MËDE APPEARS A MINUTE AFTER. YES. QUEEN. I LOVE YOU. COME BACK EVERY YEAR. Apart from that cool interval, it was fun and silly. I like fun and silly

The ending was something to even take seriously? I knew he was going to appear at some point BUT DUDE. My boy was not the first to win IN THE MILLENNIUM for you to only place him in the stage BY HIMSELF AT THE VERY END. I feel like that was kinda rude from their part

✨Results opinion✨

I LOST A FREAKING EURO

GUESS WHO I VOTED FOR

THAT'S RIGHT

CYPRUS

I'm cryiiiiiiing

Anyways I actually like the new way of saying the finalists from an audience pov. I do think it's way too stressful for the artists but for casual viewers for example is much more easier to recognize people if you see them three times, you know what I mean?

Apart from that I like the choice of songs that went through, except for Poland not because it's a bad song and the singer has a really powerful voice it's just not my thing

THEO EVAN YOU ARE A FINALIST IN MY HEART

ALSO I ALMOST CRIED WHEN PORTUGAL WENT THROUGH

NAPA IS MY FAMILY NOW

THEY JUST LOOK LIKE GUYS WHO WOULD GIVE YOU CANDY IF THEY SAW YOU SAD 😭

PLEASE ADOPT ME I'M SPANISH I CAN UNDERSTAND PORTUGUESE TO SOME DEGREE

Also tf was the reaction from Ukraine to being in the finals? I don't know if it was a joke, if his soul left his body or if he didn't want to go. I just know that it has meme potential

Anyways those were my ✨opinions✨ for the first semi.

See you for the second semi!!

[seventhconsumedsigil]

This really does suck. My particular case of it is a weird one too, because there's a particular set of experiences that are best encapsulated by the word that marks them. Aspeger's Syndrome, and specifically the way in which it was socially treated around the time I was growing up.

See, Hans Asperger was, if not entirely onboard with the Nazis, certainly far too chummy with many of them, a member of several affiliated organisations, and quite compliant with the murder of children who did not fit into that nice, high functioning, useful catagory that his name got put on. Because that's the dynamic there, the "dividing line" that got drawn. If you're very functional outwardly, if you did well academically and could more or less adapt, you get to be diagnosed with something just barely short of "One Of The Good Ones". If you were acting up too much, or if your needs didn't line up within an acceptable deviation of the norm, or if your therapist was just shit at their job? Then it's into the autism box with you! And so I know people who are virtually indistinguishable as people now, once they have coping mechanisms and experience and a setting which they can control as adults... but one of them only got diagnosed with autism when it got folded in at the 2013 DSM-5 revision, and the other had it from the start, because they weren't as convenient, didn't have quite so good prospects of usefulness in the eyes of the person diagnosing them. And that, that bitter, galling dynamic, is one I do want to talk about with Hans Aspeger's name attached. I want his named nailed to it in ignomity and shame, and I like it's heft as a rhetorical tool in describing how the lines are so often drawn by those outside from their own points of view.

But, at the end of the day, it is still how I described my differences internally back then, the words I clung to to sooth my unease at being different, and I'm still deeply and complicatedly uncomfortable with that.

Anyway, no real ending here, I don't yet have a coherent point to be made about this, but yeah. It's a galling situation to be sure.

I am forever cursed by "stigmatized/dehumanizing label is still my favorite word for my experience so i guess I'll go fuck myself"

[rimouskis]

can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?

[altruistic-meme]

if you could... describe aftg in 5 words

oh this is not as easy a question to answer as it should be akfhsdkf bc like. i could describe its plot, or my thoughts on it as a fan, or how it makes me feel, or just make a joke, or or or and bc idk why you're asking it makes it harder :'))

but let's see...

plot: gay sports mafia found family.

fan: drama, familiarity, trauma, comedy, home

feelings: love, understanding, chaos, joy, comfort

joke: you know, i get it-

(as you can see, i couldn't pick which one to go with, so choose whichever 5 words you want lmao)

[doggytail-duck]

I'm at the point where it's increasingly hard to function again, I can't even do fun stuff let alone things I need to get done

[onrainynights]

I'm about to be so annoying btw

[makereadgrow]

RIP Joann, now what?

I wanted to make a post I could copy and paste and or link when I see folks asking where to buy fabrics when Joann is gone. I sew a lot, generally between 100-200 items a year and I don't do it on a big budget. Stores are not in a particular order.

Notions:

Wawak.com - start here, mostly stay here. Wawak is a supplier for professional sewing businesses and have the prices that show it. I will not pay for gutermann Mara 100 anywhere else. I buy buttons, tools, thread, and most elastic here.

Stitch Love Studio - this is where I buy lingerie supplies https://www.etsy.com/shop/StitchLoveStudio?ref=yr_purchases

Fabric:

Fabric Mart - this is one where you want to sign up for emails and never buy unless its on sale. They run different sales every day and they rotate. Mostly deadstock fabrics but I buy more from here than anywhere else. Fantastic customer service and if you watch you can get things like $6 wool suiting or $4 cotton jersey. https://fabricmartfabrics.com/

Fabrics-Store - again, buy the sales not the full price. Sign up for the emails but redirect them to a folder because it is TOO MANY. They stock linen or good but not amazing quality. https://www.fabrics-store.com/

Purple Seamstress - This is where I buy my solid cotton lycra jersey. They have other things, but the jersey is what I'm here for. Inexpensive and very good quality. If you ask she will mail you a swatch card for the solids. https://purpleseamstressfabric.com/

LA Finch - deadstock fabrics with a fantastic remnant selection https://lafinchfabrics.myshopify.com/

Califabrics - mix of deadstock and big brands, easy to navigate and always seem to have good denim in stock. https://califabrics.com/

Boho Fabrics - good variety, nice bundles. I have also gotten some really great trims from here. https://www.bohofabrics.com/

Firecracker Fabrics - garment and quilting fabrics, really nice selection and great sale section. I've bought $5 yard quilting cottons here several times. https://www.firecrackerfabrics.com/

Hancock's of Paducah - Quilting fabric and some limited garment fabric. AMAZING sale section. Do not sleep on the sale section. This is my first stop when buying quilting fabrics. Usually the last stop too. Not particularly speedy shipping. https://www.hancocks-paducah.com/

Itokri - This is something a little different. Itokri is an Indian business with incredible traditional fabrics. Shipping to the US is expensive, but the fabric is so inexpensive it evens out. I generally end up paying like $30 for shipping. Beautiful ikat and block prints. https://itokri.com/

Miss Matatabi - this is a little treat. This isn't where you go to save money, but there are so many beautiful things in this shop. Ships from Japan incredibly quickly. https://shop.missmatatabi.com/

Lucky Deluxe - Craft thrift store, always has an incredible selection and fantastic customer service. I need to close the tab fast because I never go to this website without finding something I need. https://www.luckydeluxefabrics.com/

Swanson's - the OG of online craft thrift stores, but I find their website harder to navigate. https://www.swansonsfabrics.com

Honorary Mentions: I haven't shopped at these places yet but I have had them recommended and likely will at some point.

A Thrifty Notion - https://athriftynotion.com/

Creative Closeouts - https://creativecloseoutsfabric.com/ being rebranded to sewsnip.com on March 1 - quilting deadstock

Hawthorne Supply Co. - I just got this rec and I think I need to not look too closely or I'm going to slip with my debit card. https://www.hawthornesupplyco.com/

This is not an exhaustive list of everywhere you can buy fabric, or even a full list of where I shop. There are SO many options out there in the world. You also need to think outside the fabric store box. I thrift men's shirt fabrics for quilts and sheets for backing fabric. I don't do a ton of in person thrifting and my local stores don't get a lot of craft materials but every thrift store is its own universe and reflects the community it is in. Go out and find something cool.

Oh and final note: Don't shop at Hobby Lobby.

[weaselle]

i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.

Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let's see if i can do better

So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan -- chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).

[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i'm low on spoons - perhaps i'll do another post for meatless meals]

You'll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.

You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three

Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don't worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)

Now flip your protein if it's flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.

Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That's going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)

While it's resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.

...

Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.

...

The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor

You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.

It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable

here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea

it's not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks

Happy Cooking!

[orangeocelotmartyn]

Impulse's adventures in Tumblr

Scar: You get too deep in Twitter it gets scary. Impulse: I got too deep in Tumblr, I had to back off. Scar: (surprised) Ooh. Impulse: I started going down a-a little—Gem saw! Gem saw it happen. Gem was helping me with Tumblr and—and I started going down and she's like, "nope, stop. you gotta do a filter for that one." (he laughs) Scar: Uh oh. Impulse: I got a little too deep— Gem: Yeah, but seriously. You guys, y-y-you want to be on the Tumblr, but you don't want to be on the Tumblr, because—you don't have the right…attitude about the Tumblr! If you're gonna be on the Tumblr, you're gonna see the fandom stuff. And if—then you gotta be okay with seeing the fandom stuff. If you're not okay with seeing the fandom stuff, then you gotta let me set up your Tumblr! (beat) I'm personally okay with it all, I don't really care. Scar: (sounding like he's far away) What's the fandom stuff? Impulse: Like the shipping, and…stuff. Scar: Do they get into like, the rates on shipping these days? It's crazy.

Impulse: A-U? What do they call it, A-U? What's A-U stand for? Gem: Just, Alternate Universe Impulse: Alternate Universe, okay. Some of the alternate universe, I read some of those things, they're actually pretty cool. Gem: You shouldn't say that out loud. (Impulse begins laughing) Impulse: Oh, my bad. I'm not supposed to be there, sorry, safe place for you guys, I'm back out—I'm out. I-I didn't— Scar: I never venture to Tumblr. Impulse: Reddit was-Reddit was slow! Okay? If—listen. If Reddit's gonna be slow, I need an outlet for—(laughs) for my—(getting quieter) reading. Stuff. About myself. Gem: I'd be-I think Tumblr's fine, you just have to have the correct mindset. And you also shouldn't be talking about it on stream— Impulse: Yeah, my bad— Gem: —because it freaks them out, and then they start being weird. Tumblr's much better when they're just-they're just normal. Impulse: There was-there was plenty of normal stuff. I just-you can't go down the rabbit holes, I learned. (pause) And then people-people take—they take screenshots of me when I'm standing weird. (He holds up a picture to the camera) Scar: (starts laughing) What, wait what? Wait, hold on— Gem: Oh, wait, we can-we can tell about this. There-there was a Tumblr post that was, that was-that was pointing out all of the times that Impulse stood (Scar exhales a laugh) and-and-and yeah. Yeah, they-they were pretty pretty princess Impulse? Impulse: (talking over her) I stand so macho, what are you talking about (he laughs) Scar: I'm so confused, I-can I get a— Impulse: I literally had to work on my—stance, before Sunday because I saw something Saturday night and I was like, oh— Gem: It's very cute, it's very cute. (Impulse laughs) Scar: Can I see a photo? Impulse: I was pretty princess. Here, I'll bring it up again. Do you have my stream open? Scar: I wanna see it. Impulse: I'll find it again. Scar: Can I just say, can I just say real quick while he's doing that? Impulse—really swoled out. He looks like he could pick-pick up an ox. (Impulse laughs, clearly pleased) I really noticed it, like, Impulse-I see those guns, I was like, "this man could pick up an ox. If I fell on the ground, Impulse, one hand, could pick me up." Impulse: Thanks. Scar: O-oh my god, I just pulled up your stream, except there's an ad, so I just see it up in the little tiny box at the top— Impulse: Oh shoot—c'mon ads! Scar: —so it's even funnier. Oh, there it is. (he laughs delightedly) Little princess. Gem: Tumblr's so good, though, cause you just get to see funny stuff like that, and don't have to scroll through all the politics and crap that's on, like, X. Impulse: Mm. Scar: It's so bad, Gem. Gem: And Reddit. And is dead. It's just nice, I like seeing the fandom at it's purest form, please don't ruin it by telling them that you're on there. Impulse: Okay. Nah, I-I was just on there 'cause I, y'know, I was excited about the event. There was so many things being posted and stuff, I wanted to see—everything that was being said, about w-how people thought about the weekend, and favorite clips, and all that kind of stuff, I wanted to see it all, so I dipped into Tumblr. Just a little bit, just-just to dip my toes in, just a lil bit. I'm back out, I'm fine. I'll be alright.

Scar: But was it nice? Impulse: It was alright. Scar: Because it feels like Reddit, they just nitpick the smallest things, like— Gem: I don't find the Tumblr to be nitpicky at all. Th-they're more like a celebration of the fandom. Whereas the Reddit is like…hates the fan—hates-hates us, a lil bit. Lowkey. Scar: A little, there's a little there, there's a little there, it's—there's an enjoyment of nitpicking. They find the nitpicking more fun, and then Twitter, they're just confused over there. They don't know what's going on. (Impulse laughs) Gem: Tumblr definitely doesn't nitpick half of the—every now and then I'll come across a person who's like. A bit…odd. But you could just block that one person and it normally goes away. Impulse: I didn't understand Tumblr about—cause you can't see when something was posted. At least not on just the scrolling through, it seemed like. I didn't see anything that was like, "this was posted x amount of hours ago." And I'm used to that. So that felt weird to me. And then I didn't quite understand how, like, replies and stuff work. There's something about notes? And then I click on that and it got weird, and, I dunno. Gem: Oh, I can teach you, I can teach you that. Impulse: I just didn't get it. Gem: I didn't think you were going to be getting into like, actually posting. Impulse: I'm a boomer when it comes to—Tumblr. So I think—I'm okay. N-next time we hang out you can help me with my—filters. Gem: I think you should just pretend that you don't use it. Cause— Impulse: Yeah, just, I'm not gonna get on there ever again. (Windows error noise) Say what you want. Uh oh.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

There's a viral video circulating from the Fort Worth Zoo, of two keepers who ended up in a habitat at the same time as a silverback gorilla. Spoiler for good news: neither the humans nor the gorilla got hurt. It's a bad situation that ended extremely well, and that's why I want to talk about it.

The audio for this video is mostly someone praying loudly, so if you need to turn the audio off to watch it, you won't miss anything relevant. If you don't want to watch it, here's the summary: it starts with a keeper running around the corner into the main exhibit, pursued by a large male gorilla. She is quickly able to get into a doorway at the back of the exhibit, but does not completely close the door because the gorilla is standing across from her, watching. He eventually moves off to the right hand side of the exhibit, where we can see a keeper is trapped in the corner at the front. She was trying to move towards the exit as he moved to the right, and she stops, standing very still behind a tree, while he stays along the far right wall. They stay like that for a minute, and then the gorilla runs to the front right corner, and the keeper is able to run to the door in the back of the exhibit and get to safety.

Let's start with basic information. Even though it's just going viral now, this video is from October of 2023. It was taken not by a guest, but by the zoo security officer responding to the situation. Hmmm, seems like he maybe should have been doing something else during that situation, instead of than taking a phone video. It's going viral now because the guy (who is no longer employed at the zoo) decided to post it on TikTok for his five minutes of fame. This guy immediately started giving all sorts of media interviews, answering questions like "why no tranquilizers" inappropriately, making memes out of his own video, generally distasteful shit.

Zoo spokesperson Avery Elander gave a public statement that "thankfully, there was no physical contact between keepers and gorilla, and all staff and animals are safe." A comment from the zoo has also indicated that the incident was due to keeper error. (As opposed to, for instance, something in the fencing breaking.) According to the guy who posted the video, a lock was left unsecured and the gorilla was able to open the door to the habitat. I don't know if I buy it, and again, this just... is probably why he doesn't have a job anymore. By sharing that detail - real or not - he places a ton of public scrutiny and blame on that keeper team. (If that's what happened, I can promise you it will have been dealt with internally.) He also was nice enough to say he wouldn't name the women in the video... but verified they're still staffers at the zoo... which means they're eminently identifiable! Excuse me while I ragequit for a second.

So there's two reasons I wanted to talk about this. The first is to make sure it is well known that this guy is purposefully and intentionally exploiting the worst day of someone's life for media attention. Their lives were in danger, and he's using it for fame. His name is in the media articles - I'm not going to share it because he doesn't deserve that attention. The second reason, though, is because this video is a masterclass on how to survive if you end up sharing space with a gorilla. Every zoo person I've spoken to or seen comment on the video is so, so impressed with how the keepers handled themselves.

The gorilla in this video is 34-year-old Elmo. All apes in AZA zoos are managed in protected contact, so keepers are supposed to be separated from them by a barrier at all times. The zookeepers were in the habitat putting out a mid-day meal when he got out. Watching the video, you can see he's not actively being aggressive towards them - he's not making threat displays or trying to approach them. Mostly, Elmo seems like he doesn't know what is going on and he's kinda freaked out about it. (This is confirmed in the zoo's press statement, too). The staff stayed calm, and importantly, watched and waited to see how he'd move and act.

The zoo did say one thing, though, that's a bit misleading. In one article, their press person I quote as saying “In general, gorillas are considered the “gentle giants” of the great ape species.” Just because this may be true in comparison to other great ape species doesn't meant gorilla aren't still incredibly dangerous. This type of messaging always worries me, because I think it leads people to misunderstand the risks of being close to megafauna. Gorilla are extremely strong animals, and their social norms/behaviors are very different from that of humans. That's why it's such a big deal any time people end up in gorilla habitats, and why sometimes in those circumstances lethal measures have to be taken to protect human life.

These keepers are incredibly lucky to be unharmed. These women stayed safe specifically because they're trained professionals who knew how to act around gorilla, they knew this particular animal well, and they'd learned the escapes from the exhibit just in case this ever happened. We should applaud them for their cool heads and quick thinking.

As for the guy who posted the video? As a colleague put it, may he always step on a Lego.