#(I know because people have hated my guts on the internet before lol)

[rimouskis]

can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?

[jyndor]

im the anon you told to fuck off here to say thank you.

i had read about terrorist organizations using that slogan and i had a gut reaction. im a jew and i fear for both muslims and jews with everything that is going on right now. because i read what you wrote and i researched again and i see where propaganda got the better of me (even if those words have been used by terrorists). and i see time and time again where propaganda gets the better of most of us on something as fast paced as the internet.

as i read i remembered. the naz*s took a symbol that was once peaceful and turned it into something the world cannot look at the same way ever again-entirely their fault not the fault of the original culture from which the symbol came.

i dont want to see that happen with words that are truly important and stand for something i do believe in which to be clear: is a free and peaceful palestine where no one has to live in fear.

in saying what i did based off of a gut reaction i made a mistake. i did the same thing i hate from others on the internet which is speaking on an issue before doing further research and i am ashamed of that.

but i am also committed to learning and doing better tomorrow. no one can become an expert in any part of this as quickly as plenty have claimed to. im writing this to share my perspective and as a reminder of fallibility for whatever that is worth.

i think its important for ensuring we dont become what we wish to stand against.

thanks again for sharing your research. you told me to fuck off but ill sign off by wishing you well

anon I'm shook no okay so hold! on the fucking off pls do not fuck off I recant the fucking off. its how I handle anons (I'll explain later) until yall prove you're not trolling or bots or whatever.

it's worth a LOT. like really it's worth a lot. Unfuck off, I would love more people in my orbit who don't just critically engage with criticism but also go on to look into it for themselves. instead of just taking my or someone else's word for it. I try to do that myself because I can be such a fucknugget and sometimes need a good smack lol.

I just want to say I'm sorry that you're experiencing the fear you're experiencing. and um I have jewish cousins and family who I am scared for always, I try not to bring them up bc it feels kind of gross in this context but yeah, I don't want to invalidate your fears.

I mean what the n*zis did with that symbol is a whole other thing and I don't feel like I should speak on it other than to say fuck n*zis they ruin everything they touch. I liken this more to the way that black lives matter gets misconstrued because I know more about the history of that phrase than I do about that symbol you're talking about. I also don't like to bring up n*zism in the context of israel/palestine because actually almost every time I have seen that comparison with israel, it is a cheap shot at jewish people. Like in a youtube comments section or something, not thoughtful discourse - because tbh these are very, very different situations and the comparisons could be made of almost any other genocide, but like the commenter knows it's a painful thing for jewish people and so like I said, it's a cheap shot that's easy to take and says more about them than it does about palestinian liberation or israeli apartheid.

I know plenty of anti-zionist jewish people do actually talk about the shoah in the context of why they support palestinian rights but for me it just doesn't feel right.

and yeah i understand falling for shit - I've done it, it's easy as hell to read something and feel like it's right, like yeah I personally don't actually say from the river to the sea all that often, you won't find it as a tag on my blog because I think it's best coming from palestinians?

you're totally right - no one can possibly learn the history quickly. It's taken me 16 years to feel like I am actually relatively well versed in the history and I'm not even well versed, I'm just decently versed lol. and if you add into it the propaganda that we've all been told for years, and then the added generational trauma you have? of course it's hard to fight gut reactions because often they're somewhat based in experiences we've had or others have had.

the reason I told you as an anon to fuck off is because of my history and views towards anonymous asks more than anything else, btw. THAT is a gut reaction but it is also informed by my experiences. I hope this maybe explains why I may sometimes come off a little harsh towards anons (and why I decided to turn them off - until rebelcaptain secret santa forced me to open them back up lol).

so I used to love to keep anonymous on because I know that a lot of people don't feel comfortable reaching out for a number of reasons and I wanted to remain accessible as a user of this shithole site lol. however what happens is sometimes, a lot of times, people will just be saying anything. and then they'll say "I'm an x person and y is true" and often people getting those anons will be really well-meaning and just accept it at face value. because genuinely so many people want to be on the side of marginalized groups and want to be good allies. and so shitty people will just be saying bullshit about whatever, and people who may not understand the details of whatever situation anon is talking about will say, "oh shit I didn't realize that! Thanks for educating me!"

and often it is legit! and it's also important to remember that no group is monolithic, so if an anon comes into my ask box saying that they are from, idk let's say, venezuela. i don't know a whole lot about venezuela. I know there is a lot of propaganda and shit from the us, and I know that there are class dynamics and racial dynamics that I vaguely understand because I have a relatively okay understanding of the entire region but it's not good enough to hold up more than a little bit under any kind of actual pressure like being told something by someone who claims to be venezuelan and says that everyone is actually indigenous (which i do understand to be indigenous erasure), and so it would be more comfortable for me to just say, "okay thanks for the info, my bad!" etc etc etc which... okay but like what if they're not venezuelan? what if they are and they're actually just anti-indigenous? what if they're a right-winger or a bot or idk just wrong lol. some people can be just incorrect without it being disinformation, right? so if I post that without any pushback or skepticism, I'm now spreading misinformation that is used to harm indigenous people.

so for me, because anons necessarily get to hide their identities more than even these already relatively anonymous social media accounts do, my policy has always been to handle them with skepticism and frankly to assume the worst.

not everyone does that and also like I don't have a big following but I don't have a TINY following either so I do feel some responsibility to provide accurate information. and that's just from years of experience and not always doing that lol.

anyway sorry for being long-winded, and thank you for reading what I wrote and more importantly for not just taking what I said at face value but for doing the research yourself. that's what is most important.

[asoulofatlantis]

Let me be completely honest with you. The only reason why I have a need to finish this game right now is because it would feel awful to start Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth without finishing the Remaster of Final Fantasy 8.

(And yes, in case I have not mentioned that before... I am ashamed to admit it, but I preordered FF7R(2) even tho I still to this day, hate FF7Rs guts. BUT - among other things - now that I have started that journey, I may as well go through with it till the very end. And if that means complaining through all 3 games that they suck then that is still an interesting way to play a game XD I might also add... I bought a PS5 just for FF16 and now its standing here and has not been used in months and there is hardly any game out there right now that I would want for the PS5 so... I might as well get al least FF7R(2) so the PS5 doesn't stand here for nothing ^^' IF I get the thing to work where I can play the game on my Computer via the might of the internet, I will do a live reaction for it. So you will have complain about this game live and in colors XD ALSO anyone in the mood of a prediction game? I say we do NOT get a Kiss in THAT scene and I dare to say Aerith will not die the way she should - not saying she is not dying at all tho. Anyone on the Tifa dies instead bandwagon? I mean, seriously... what if Clouds choice of who he is going to the Golden Saucer (or whatever it is called) with will end up deciding who is going to die? BUT what if Nomura as twisted as he is decided he sacrifice the one Cloud is dating in that playthrough and lets the other one live? I would not put it past him or this game to do that XD)

ANYWAY... lets get back to FF8. We have a Shumi to kill.

What kind of question is that? I was ordered to see the master - as you were I presume - so I am going to see him? And... you know... while I am at it... maybe... save the Headmaster? I am serious, why that question? Okay, sie was searching for the headmaster instead but still... it was a weird question. I mean... could they not come up with a better way to stop him in his tracks like: "Oh, you are here too? Do you search for the headmaster as well?" or something. But I guess I am just nitpicking here.

Its not like Cid didn't use us for this ridiculous "free Timber'" - mission too.

Here comes the big plottwist. The first one, that is.

Talking Squall out of his melancholy is actually Rinoas Job, but since I don't like her or the ship, I didn't bring her. Second in line for this scene would be Xell. So... yeah... I couldn't bring him either, even tho I do like him a lot. So third is finally Quistis, which I think is pretty hard, given how she was always there for Squall so far, even tho he never treated her nicely. But... not you see why I brought Irving along ^^'

Can I just leave without talking to her? XD

Pfff. I did it. *lol*

So... this is a pacifist city... but we get weapon-stuff here? ^^' ()Also... why is "Eyes on me" playing in the background? (The ball-version.)

I know its a JRPG thing to put people in leading positions without their consent but... Squall really has it rough ^^'

You can really not blame this boy for his abandonment issues. His father was never there (and likely never will be, because Laguna and Squall both suck when it comes to dealing with emotions and relationships XD) and so he didn't even know he had one until he was almost an adult. His mother died when he was born. Ellone, his sister-figure, was suddenly gone too. And he was stuck in an orphanage with crazy guys like Xell and Quistis and Seifer of all people ^^' Even tho he can not remember anything, his trauma is there.

I will repeat this a few more times in the future... but I will never understand how this ship ever actually happened.

I thought it nice that after all this time, we finally got an explanation to why Irvin was so dead set on Selphie from the start.

Here comes the next big plot twist by the way. We have all (Rinoa aside) been in the same orphanage! But... we can not remember? Why? Wait for the next big plottwist!

You know... I wonder how it must have felt for her, walking past Squall and the other but they were not remembering her at all. Must have been sad.

Since Squall is Lagunas and Rains lovechild... it kind of makes sense that there was a special connection between him and Ellone.

And here is our next plot twist! We use GF and that is why we have slowly but surely forgotten our past. OBVIOUSLY that plot twist has A LOT of holes in it tho. Like the fact that Squall, Seifer and Quistis would have needed to start out using GFs at rougly the same time, because otherwise they would have kept reminding each other of their past. Plus, as Xell was adopted and not mentioned by Quistis when she talked about entering the garden at the age of 10, he likely has entered the garden later and thus must have used GFs later so... he should still have remembered the other then and if Irving can kickstart their memories, why not Xell too?

Oh look! Another bombshell! I know all the secrets and I am still already exhausted XD

[babyboibucky]

Salt, Sugar and Viruses

Pairing: Office!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’ve been secretly making coffee for Bucky at the office.

Word Count: 1,962

Warnings: Two idiots just doing idiot things

A/N: This was done in a haste so I kinda hate it lol but I can’t get this story out of my head and thanks to @bitchassbucky for pushing me to write a full fic of this 🥰 luv u 🥺

MAIN MASTERLIST

"You have a crush on Barnes' grumpy ass?!" Sam choked out.

You angrily hushed him and frantically looked around the pantry to make sure that your secret was still safe. Fortunately, only you, Sam and Nat were inside having your respective afternoon breaks.

"What? He's nice. And cute." you told Sam as you stirred your coffee, smiling to yourself at the thought of your office crush, Bucky.

"How'd you even meet him, he works all the way at the IT department." Sam asked.

Nat snorted recalling the encounters she witnessed for the past few months. Some of which were unintentional but most of them? You had carefully planned out just so you could come up with an excuse to request for Bucky's assistance.

"She might have gotten viruses in her computer once...or twice. Or thrice." Nat teased.

The first time you met Bucky was when most of your files suddenly got corrupted. It was hella embarrassing because you didn't know shit about how computers worked and well, you've been illegally downloading torrents since the office's internet connection was a gift from the internet gods. Without a doubt, your computer was a nest for viruses.

Bucky showed up in your floor that morning and you almost sunk into your seat from shame. You'd heard the IT Department complain about everybody else in the office messing up their computer systems. When you turned around, Bucky greeted you with a charming smile and soft hello. You could still remember how he felt when he stayed behind you as you sat on your chair, bending over to take your mouse in his hand.

God, he smelled so good you almost turned your head to nuzzle your face into his neck.

He was very soft-spoken you realized; Bucky was kind enough to walk you through the process and to be honest, you couldn't recall a damn thing he said. Something about firewalls? And shields? Whatever, you didn't really listen. You just stared at Bucky as he explained everything, solving your problem in less than fifteen minutes.

Since then, your crush for Bucky grew bigger. You'd entered the elevator together a couple of times, shared small conversations that made your heart flutter. When those little moments didn't seem enough, you started your devious plan to fuck up your computer a bit. By the third time Bucky fixed your computer, he was already comfortable enough to tease you for being a "virus magnet".

"Hello? Young lady, come back to earth." Sam snapped his finger right in front of your face, interrupting your thoughts.

You clicked your tongue at him and swatted his hand away. "If you ever tell this to anyone, Wilson. You are dead." you warned, poinitng a finger at him.

Sam rolled his eyes, "It's so unfair how he's kind to you. Last time I requested for his assistance he got all smug and grumpy at me." he complained.

Nat shook her head in amusment, "That's because you've been downloading porn. You know the IT department can access our browser histories, right?"

You choked on your coffe, "WHAT?!"

Nat narrowed her eyes at you, "You been up to no good for you to react like that?"

You faceplamed, "I've been stalking his Facebook account."

Sam chortled, "What are you, in high school? Jesus, calm down. You're gonna be fine. Why don't you just tell him you like him?"

You made a face, "I'm not Nat to have the guts to do that."

Nat hummed, bringing her mug to the sink to wash it. "Why don't you start by making him coffee?"

"I don't know how he likes his coffee."

You received a pointed look from both your friends. You groaned in defeat, "Okay, fine. I know how Bucky likes his coffee."

Nat smirked, "Stalker."

-

Bucky always arrived in the office half an hour before nine in the morning. This gives him time to settle into his cubicle, buy a sandwich at the stall downstairs and to make himself a cup of coffee. It was his daily routine and upon going back to his desk after buying his breakfast sandwich, Bucky was surprised to see a cup of newly brewed coffee on his desk.

He looked around but there were no signs of anyone. There wasn't even a note of some sort. Carefully, he brought the cup to his face and inhaled its scent. Shrugging, he took a tiny sip.

-

"How's the little secret admirer doing?" Nat asked, grabbing a chair and sitting down beside you.

You deadpanned, "I've been leaving him his coffee for an entire week now and nothing's happened yet."

Nat frowned, "Are you kidding me? Why would you expect for something to happen when you haven't been leaving any clues?" she said.

"I'm shy, okay?! Maybe I should hide somewhere, check for his reaction. See whether I have a chance." you shrugged.

It was stupid of you to leave the coffee on Bucky's desk. You never stayed to wait for him. You just left it there without a note or anything that would even give him a clue about you and your little crush on him. You knew the reason why, of course. You were afraid of rejection. Sometimes, you'd feel like you have a chance with him since he was always so kind and warm to you. Not to mention, everyone in the office knows him to be grumpy but around you, he was totally the opposite of that.

But then again, maybe he was just nice to you because you were nice to him too.

-

One morning after leaving Bucky his coffee, you finally decided to leave him a note. You ran back to your cubicle to get a post-it and a pen. Before you could even walk around your desk, you spotted Bucky headed over to the pantry, the cup of coffee in his hand.

"Fuck, okay. Maybe I should just directly ask him out?" you thought to yourself.

You quickly followed Bucky into the pantry and almost whined when you saw that Sam was inside as well. You widened your eyes at him, signalling for him to leave but Sam was preoccupied on observing Bucky who seemed to be in a bad mood.

"Rough morning?" Sam just had to ask as you awkwardly stood by the doorway, finding the right timing to butt in.

Bucky's forehead creased as he let out a huff, "Rough weeks, actually." he answered.

You opened your mouth to say something comforting, wanting to lift Bucky's spirits up but he turned around and glanced at you and then back to Sam.

"Does anyone hate me in this office?" Bucky asked.

You and Sam exchanged looks, both of utter confusion before shaking your heads in unison. "Why'd you ask?" Sam asked.

Bucky lifted the cup of coffee that you made, "Someone's been making me coffee." he stated.

You cleared your throat, "...is it bad?" you asked.

Bucky made a face, "Terrible actually."

Ouch.

"I mean, the first time I saw it I was actually flattered. And then I took a sip and it's just...salty." Bucky said, pouring the coffee into the sink before throwing it into the bin.

Sam's head snapped towards your direction, his face almost red from biting back a laugh. Your face heated up at the realization that you've been putting salt into Bucky's coffee instead of sugar. All this time. You wanted to disappear right then and there. And Sam had to be the one to witness your huge failure.

"I thought it was a mistake since the next day, there was another coffee on my desk. I tried it out and it's still salty. It lasted a week, you guys. And I was dumb enough to keep on tasting it in hopes that it might have been a genuine mistake. But now I'm starting to think that someone hates me that much to fuck my coffee up." Bucky explained, face scrunched up into a mixture of irritation and curiosity.

Sam failed to stifle his laughter and exploded, "Funniest shit I've ever heard." he told Bucky before standing up and making his way to the door where you stood.

Your face was red and if the salt and sugar mishap was already humiliating enough, Sam decided to make things even worse for you.

"You really need to check the labels before pouring shit into his coffee." and with that, Sam gave your shoulder a squeeze before leaving the pantry.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. When you opened them, Bucky was staring at you with an expression you couldn't paint.

"Did you...were you the one leaving me coffee?" he asked.

You secretly pinched yourself in the arm to check whether you were just dreaming. Fuck, you hoped you were having a nightmare but the pain that you felt made it clear that you totally fucked up.

You nodded in embarrassment.

"You hate me that much?" Bucky asked in disbelief, as if he was offended that out of all people, it had to be you.

You quickly shook your head, "No, God no! I just...it's because I..." you stammered, trying to find the courage to spit out the words you've been dying to tell Bucky.

Bucky tilted his head, "Because you...?" he urged.

Your hands balled into fists as you let out another deep breath. Bucky probably hates you right now, but whatever. This was your only chance and to hell, you were going to confess.

"Because I like you?"

You didn't think that Bucky's confused look could even turn more...well, confused. But he was looking at you incredulously as though you've grown a second head, or a third head.

"You like me so you decided to put salt in my coffee?" he asked again.

You honestly didn't know who sounded even more stupid now, you or Bucky. Because if he still didn't understand what was going on, he was dense as fuck.

"No!" you explained. "I wanted to make you a decent cup of coffee but I guess I was too careless and didn't realize that I've been putting in salt instead of sugar." you said.

Bucky didn't say anything after that. He just stared at you, but he didn't seem confused anymore. If any, he looked like he was processing the entire situation.

"You like me." he stated again.

Will your embarrassment ever end?!

"Yes, Bucky. And I messed up my chance and you know what? I'm just going to show myself out and leave you alone." you told him and forced a fake grin before attempting to walk out.

A hand gripped your wrist, pulling you back into the pantry. This time, Bucky was the one who looked embarrassed.

"I might have...done something pretty stupid too." he said, avoiding your gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You eyed him suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"I uhh...I did something to your computer...the day before you requested for my assistance for the first time." Bucky admitted shyly.

It was your turn to get muddled at Bucky's confession. "But why?" you asked.

Bucky offered a shy smile, "Because I've been seeing you around the building and thought you were cute."

And then everything clicked. It was a light bulb moment for the both of you.

"Oh. Ohhh okay. I see." you said before suddenly breaking into laughter.

Bucky joined you and scratched his head, "I guess we're both idiots." he said, placing his hands inside his pockets as he stared at you.

"This went...way more interesting than I thought." you said with a nod.

There was a pause before you decided to speak up, "So, do you want coffee?"

Bucky beamed at you as he nodded, "As long as you'll use sugar this time."

-

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[angelicyoongie]

Alright one thing we’re not gonna do is send nasty asks to Maggy. ESPECIALLY while hidden behind the anon mask. The anon feature is for shy followers who want to talk, but may feel a bit nervous to be known. It is NOT for you to be making gross assumptions about authors. What’s really “sick” is the fact that y’all can’t just block things that you don’t like and instead come onto someone else’s blog to let out your bullshit takes and assumptions. Please, do some critical thinking before making such assumptions.

Maggy, continue to do what you’re doing. Turn off anon if you want, see if these people have the guts to say the same shit with their name attached to it. Cause one thing I know for sure is that they don’t. Whether you do that or not, make sure to just delete rude asks like this as soon as they pop up. No need to fuel their need for attention.

Like goodness, I’m a little inactive for a bit, and all of a sudden people are trying to question Maggy’s integrity. Like MAGGY. Bullshit. Anon, as you must have known by being on Maggy’s blog, Maggy is one of the nicest and well wishing people here. Don’t think that picking on the people you know are nice will lead you anywhere.

Maggy, I’m literally sending you so much love! These anons can just go and learn what self-regulation is, because they obviously need to after seeing the way they conduct themselves on the internet. Seriously, don’t take these people to heart. They have nothing better to do.

(I’m seriously so heated rn, I can barely even see straight. Ignore any typos, I’m too mad to care lol)

It always makes me so sad that a few rude people have to ruin what's normally a really great feature :( Like you said the option to talk to people anonymously is fantastic if you're shy, so it sucks that some choose to use it for hate.

Yeah, things went very quiet the last time I turned off anon so it's clear that most people only dare to be rude when their identites are concealed. What's the quote – "give a man a mask and he will show you his true face"? Feels fitting I think.

I couldn't care less about what that nasty anon says, but Ev, you almost made me cry lol 😭 You're just so so sweet, thank you so much for sticking up for me and having my back! I feel like I never have the right words to express myself but please know that I truly appreciate and love you so much 😭💖 (Please don't be too angry, I promise I'm fine!)

[davidmann95]

Sooo… Superman and the Authority?

magnus-king123 asked: Your thoughts on Superman & the authority Give it to me...lol

Anonymous asked: Seeing Bezos take his little trip into space the same day Morrison puts out a Superman comic that touches on how far we’ve fallen from the days when we dreamed of utopian futures where everyone explored the stars was a big gut punch. Not used to Superman being topical in that way.

Anonymous asked: What'd you think of Superman and the Authority#1?

This is far beyond what I can fit in the normal weekly reviews, so taking this as my notes on the first six pages, with this and this as my major lead-in thoughts:

* Janin's such a perfect fit for Morrison - the scale, the power, the facial expressions selling the character work, the screwing around with the panel formatting as necessary to sell the effect, the numinous sense of things going on larger than you can fully perceive amidst the beauty and chaos. It's a shame he wasn't around 25 years ago to draw JLA, but I'll take him going with Morrison onto other future projects.

* His intro action sequence is such a great demonstration of why Black actually does have something to offer, and also how he's such a dumbass desperately needing Superman to save him from himself.

* While Jordie Bellaire didn't legit go with an entirely monochromatic palate the way early previews suggested, it's still an effect frequently and excellently deployed here. And glad to see Steve Wands carry into this from Blackstars since there's such an obvious carryover from its work with Superman.

* "Gentlemen. Ladies. Others." Great both because of the obvious - hey, Superman's nodding at me! - and because it's a phrasing that reinforces that this take on him (and let's be real Morrison) is old as hell.

* I'm mostly past caring about whether this is an alt-Earth Superman until it becomes indisputable one way or another, this and Action both rule so what does it really matter? But while there are still a couple signs in play suggesting some kind of division (the Action Comics #1036 cover, Midnighter up to time-travel shenanigans) the "lost in time" quote clearly thrown in after the fact to explain how he could have met Kennedy outside of 5G that wouldn't be necessary for an Elseworlds, the assorted gestures towards Superman's current status quo, the Kingdom Come symbol appearing in Action, and that Morrison would have had to completely rewrite the ending if this wasn't supposed to be 'the' version of Clark Kent going forward as was the intent when they first planned it all say to me that no, no fooling around, this is our guy going forward one way or another.

* Janin and Bellaire making the first version of the crystal Fortress ever that actually looks as cool as you want it to.

Anonymous asked: I like that Superman and The Authority is basically the anti-All-Star; instead of the laid back, immortal Superman who is supercharged, we have a stressed, ageing Superman whose tremendous powers are fading. The former will always be there to save us, but the latter is running out of time and needs to pull off a Hail Mary. Also, he mentions in his monologue to Black that he was "lost in time" when he met JFK, so maybe he is the main continuity Clark. Or he's the t-shirt Supes from Sideways.

* You're absolutely right - the power reversal is obvious and the ticking clock in play seemingly isn't for his own survival but everyone around him as he wakes up and realizes all the old icons grew complacent with the gains they'd made and he's not leaving behind the world he meant to. Both, however, are built on the idea of preparing the world to not need them anymore - it'll still have a Superman in his son, but that'll only work because of the others he empowers and inspires. The question is what happens to Clark if he's not going to live in the sun for 83000 years.

* Clark's 'exercise' here does more to sell me on the idea of Old Man Superman as a cool idea than however many decades of Earth 2 stuff.

* Intergang being noted alongside Darkseid and Doomsday speaks to how much Kirby informed Morrison's conception of Superman.

* This isn't exactly the most progressive in its disability politics but at least it makes clear Black's being a piece of shit about it.

* It's startling how much Clark can get away with saying stuff in here you'd never expect to come out of Superman's mouth. "I made an executive decision" "Privacy, really...?" "You have nowhere to go, Black. Nothing to live for." "There are few people in my life who I instinctively and viscerally dislike, and you've always been one of them." It only works because there's zero aggression behind it, he's just past the point of niceties and being totally frank while making clear none of these assessments preclude that he cares and is going to unconditionally do the right thing every time. He is absolutely, per Morrison, humanity's dad picking us up when we're too drunk to drive ourselves home.

* The story doesn't put a big flashing light over it, but it's not even a little bit subtle having the material threat of the issue be a ticking timebomb left by the carelessness and hubris of generations past.

* Manchester keeps trying to poke the bear and prove his hot takes about Superman and it's just not working. The front he put up under Kelley is gone after decades of defeats, and as Morrison understands what actually conceptually works about him as a rival to Superman underneath the aging nerd paranoia he's exposed as what he absolutely would be in 2021: a dude with a horrific terminal case of Twitter brainworms. I was PANICKED when I heard there was an 'offensive term' joke in this, I was braced for Morrison at their well-meaning worst, but it's such a goddamn perfect encapsulation of a very specific breed of Twitter leftist who uses their politics first and foremost as a cudgel and justification to label their abrasive, judgmental shittiness as self-righteousness (plus it's a killer payoff to a joke from way back in his original appearance). Cannot believe they pulled that off when they're so very, very open about basically not knowing how the internet works.

* @charlottefinn: Manchester Black using his telekinetic powers to force someone he hates to fave a problematic tweet so that he can screenshot it and start a dogpile

@intergalactic-zoo: “Once they cancel Bibbo, Superman won’t be *anyone’s* fav’rit anymore!”

* Friend noted this issue had to be fully the conversation because the whole premise stands on the house of cards of these two somehow working together, and with three 'silent' inset panels the creative team pulls off that turning point.

* So much of this feels on the surface like Morrison bringing back the All-Star vibes with Clark, but when he drops a "That's all you got?" in a brawl you realize what's underlining that bluntness and confidence in the face of failure is that deep down this is still the Action guy too. This dude ain't gonna get wrecked in his Fortress while the other guy chuckles about him being A SOFT WEE SCIENTIST'S SON!

* Bringing up Jor-El made me realize that Morrison already spelled out that this is the final threat to Superman, what he faces at the end of the road:

"Now it's your turn, Superman."

* A l'il Superman 2000/All-Star reference with the Phantom Zone map!

* There's so much intertextuality going on here even by Morrison standards - Change or Die with the old hero putting together a team of morally nebulous folks out to 'fix' everything, Flex Mentallo with the muscleman trying to redeem the punk, Doomsday Clock with the fate of the world hinging on whether Superman can get through to a meta stand-in for an idea of 'modern' comics cynicism, DKR and New Frontier and Kingdom Come and Multiversity and Seven Soldiers and What's So Funny and All-Star and Action and the last 5 years of monthly Superman comics and Authority and probably Jupiter's Legacy and Tom Strong - but none of that's needed. You could go in with the baseline pop cultural understanding of the character and not care about any of the inside baseball shit and get that this is a story about a leader of a generation that let down the people they made all their grand promises to as inertia and day-to-day demands and complacency let him be satisfied with the accomplishments they'd made long ago, looking at a new era and seeing the ways its own activists are dropping the ball. The only thing that fundamentally matters in a "you have to accept you're reading a superhero story" sense is that because he's Superman he's willing to own up to it and listen to people who might know better about some things and try to set things right while he and those who'll take his place still have a chance. And yes, the oldster looking back on their legacy with a skeptical eye and hoping for better from the next generation, hoping most of all that their little heir apparent can fulfill the promise inside of him instead of being a provocating little shitkicker, is obviously also autobiographical.

* The overlaying Kennedy reprisal is such a great visual of a sudden intrusive thought.

* The Kryptonite secret is the obvious "This is going to matter!" moment, but "He lied about his son" is a bit that doesn't connect to anything going on right now so maybe that's important here too? More significantly, the Justice League can't actually be the villains here but that Ultra-Humanite's crew are in an Earth-orbiting satellite makes pretty clear what's up.

* I've said before that between Superman, OMAC, and a New Gods-affiliated speedster this was going to use all of Morrison's favorite things. King Arthur playing a role isn't exactly dissuading me.

* Love the idea that all the antiheroes have their own community in the same way as the capes and tights crew. They definitely all privately think the rest are posers though and that they alone are Garth Ennis Punisher in a mob of Garth Ennis Wolverines.

* Manchester's fallen so far he's gone from trying to convince Superman to kill to convince him to dunk on people for their bad takes and Clark just doesn't get it. Official prediction of dialogue for upcoming issues:

"According to these bloody Fortress scans, the only thing that can restore your powers is an unfiltered hit of dopamine. Don't worry, Doctor Black has a few ideas."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll plant a nice tree?"

"...fuck you."

* Ok I already talked about how great the Fortress looks in here but LOVE this library.

* A pair of pages this seems like the right spot to discuss from Black's original appearance that underlines both his and Superman's inadequacies up to this point:

Responding to the problem of "the government and penal system are hopelessly corrupt" neither of them has any actual notion of what to do about it in spite of their respective posturing beyond how to handle individual outside actors - each is in their own way every bit as small-minded and reactionary as the other. Clark's coming around though, and he's holding out hope for the other guy.

* Superman: Have a lovely mineral water :) proper hydration is important :)

Manchester Black: *Is a dude who can get so mad he vomits and passes out. At water.*

* That last page is the one to beat for the year, and does more to put over the idea of this as an Authority book than that Midnighter and Apollo are literally going to show up. It also feels like Morrison tacitly acknowledging all the ways the premise could go or at least be received wrong - from Superman saying 'enough is enough' to who he's bringing into the fold to go about it - in the most beautifully on-the-nose fashion imaginable. Maybe they'll save us all! Or maybe they'll drown us in their vomit.

[willow-salix]

This is going to be out of the blue and there's no need for a response to it, but I guess I feel like some of you deserve to get a peek behind my armour.

Facebook just gave me a memory from 7 years ago, showing me an album that I'd rather not see quite honestly, but you know when you're just drawn in even though you know it's against your better judgement? Yep, that was me just now.

The album is full of screenshots of the absolute shit ton of crap that I've had on the Internet over the years.

I was in the RP world for ten years, and in that time I was verbally and mentally attacked a lot, I was mentally abused, I was stalked, I was blamed for things I never did, I was used as a scapegoat for things I never did. I was the victim of unwarranted attacks that had my accounts deleted by fb so that I lost YEARS of writing.

I got my heart broken over and over again by people that claimed tk be my friends, people that claimed to love me but that were all too happy to dump me the second a better option came along. People that I sat up all night with, that I lost sleep over, that I went out of my way to help and support.

Some of them lied to me so throughly that they lied about who they were, where they lived, their job, their gender, their nationality, what other characters /accounts they had and everything else you could think of for over TWO years.

I've had one that claimed to be my best friend, sit on my couch, my actual couch, in my house and lie to my face. Lie to me and his long term partner and mother of his three kids that he wasnt cheating with a cheap bitch he met online (the third person he'd done it with I found out after) I only found out about her when she messaged me to tell me.

I stopped talking to him, after their friends started a smear campaign against me, and even then EVEN THEN, I talked it out and started talking to him again. But he turned it around and started blaming me and guilt tripping me again. So I cut him off. He stalked me. Like messaging my friend, posting things to me (actual letters through the mail) making new accounts to message me, buying new phone sims to call me. This was 6 years ago. He called me at the start of lockdown and left a message on my voicemail.

This man mentally abused me. He'd force me to talk to him when I had a problem and then he'd not like what I said, so he'd go silent and ignore me for up to three days, to the point that I'd worked myself up so much that I was apologising, that I was taking the blame for having feelings, only when he got that would he talk to me.

He was an alcoholic who worked in care if you can believe that, I supported him through him getting sober again, he still did all that to me.

I gave up on role play and let my character, my home, the one place I felt comfortable and safe, up. And I didn't go back for two years. I got talked around by someone, they made promises, I stupidly fell for it.

I then got used to bring their character back and to help them sort out storylines. I was then told they didn't want to work with me anymore because they had too much going on in their personal life, they blocked me and I then got screenshots that that had another writing partner already.

That broke me. That broke me and fandom and people and everything really.

I vowed never to go back.

Then I stumbled upon you lot. And I told myself not to get involved, not to start talking to anyone, not to start trusting again. Now look! Now bloody look!

I'm what... 500k + in a story that was never meant to be, I'm actually writing and collabing with people again and I have a character that I adore and feel just as comfortable with... And that is fucking scary.

It's sooooo scary. Like terrifying scary to me.

Because I'm having to trust again. Selene is like public property now, and I love how much everyone has accepted and adopted her and how they use her and write her too, that warms this cold, dead, suspicious heart of mine.

Because I can honestly say that Selene and John saved me and my sanity.

I am quite a sociable person, I love to chat to people and if I'm your friend I will go out of my way to do my best for you, to be there for you and to support you in every way I can. But I know I can be used and I dotn always see the bad in people. So I cut myself off and refused to allow myself to make friends again.

I was writing my novels and that was it. No interaction, no fun really. Then this loud mouthed witch blazed into my head, took one look at the spaceman and said "that one, he's mine, wrap him up I'll take him to go" and here she is.

They made writing fun again, they made it spontaneous and exciting, I suddenly had ideas again, people to talk to about the characters I love and it was hard. Because it was also good.

I had to trust the process, trust Selene.

But I'm also so wary. I'm wary that I'm gonna piss people off, that I'm going to annoy people with her and that people hate her. I know people don't like OCs' and I get major anxiety about that.

I've never had this amount of anxiety over stories before, never. Not my rp, not my novels, not the ones I did for class or competitions, nothing. This is singularly the most stressful writing I've ever done. Because these boys, they mean the world to me, they always have. They have always been my happy place since I was 5/6, they have always been my heart and home.

The problems I had in rp made me not like the books that I loved, the fandom I was in, because of peoples interpretations of the characters, the way they played them and the fact that they were so nasty to me. And I really really don't want that to happen here.

A few weeks ago I noticed that an account had bene set up that was clearly a piss take of me, of this account. And all the old fears and anxiety came rushing back. I instantly went running to Squiddy and Olliepig and basically tumbled around the group chat in a mess for a few minutes before I calmed down and realised what was going on and had a guess at who it could be.

But it's scary. Because I've been stalked, I've been badmouthed, I've had people make fake accounts of me to cause trouble, and it weighs on me.

Willow Salix is my author name, I had to choose that because my Pagan name (which I was writing under and still do on ff and a03) was too well known and my stalkers were reporting it every time I made a new account.

I had to come to love this name, come to see it as myself (willow is my actual real name btw) and feel comfortable with it. It's taken a long time, I've built my brand from it. I have five novels out under it. And to think of someone having an account with even a parody of that name gave me all sorts of chills.

I'm OK now, but yeah. Fun times.

So I guess... I just want people to talk to me. And I don't mean shine by ego lol, I mean that if I ever do anything to piss you off. If I ever say anything you don't like. If I ever annoy you with Selene or anything at all, PLEASE just come and talk to me.

I might put on a tough mask, and in general I am pretty hardy, but I'm a typical cancerian, hard outer shell, squishy inside.

Selene is my sanity in a home life that is far from easy, I won't go into major details but disabled husband, I'm a full time carer, he's majorly depressed and it's just... Yeah. Anyway, she's my refuge, she's my escape right now.

Actually making a side blog for her took so much guts, to allow her free rein to speak and act is scary as heck for me. Because I've been there and vowed to never go back.

The only good thing I took out of all my years of rp, apart from being able to make up a story pretty much on the spot, spontaneous replies, dialogue skills and character development, is my best friend in all the world @endellionaeternus who has seen it all and stuck by me through it all.

I have no real idea why I just typed all this, I guess I needed people to see where I'm coming from, and why Selene exists.

Yeah...

[rosamundhr]

Books and Sins | Chapter One [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]

Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.

PS: I was inspired by fictional characters before writing this; Sherlock Holmes, Khan Noonien Singh, Alexander Masters, Joe Goldberg, Patrick Bateman and all the psychopath characters I've seen before. Oh and some books & tv shows. The character might be like any of them so please do not judge. And please read at your own risk as this book will include mature content, self harm, violence and swearing. Thank you, I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

- Rosamund

~~~~~

  "Cappuccino please," she asked the bartender, and then added kindly "My name is Katherine." before he could ask.

  Katherine... Benedict thought. It's nice meeting you... Finally.

  He was just behind her, and he could smell her linden scent. Even being this close to her was exciting, and he tried to keep his hands to himself. Taking a deep breath to stay calm, he ordered as well while keeping an eye on her.

  She found herself a table, and put her headphones on. Looking through her bag she finally took her book out. Caged Will - Timothy Carlton. The book looked worn and old. Is this your fifth time reading it? Oh no, it was Secret Caller. Your favourite... You can't imagine how sexy you look when you read my books. Those fingers, you once said they're always cold; oh how I want them around my-- "Are you going to keep standing?" The old lady said with a look of disapproval. He bit his cheeks inside his mouth, I'm going to cut your fucking throat with that denture, he thought but of course he didn't say that out loud: "I'm so sorry, ma'am." With a fake, small smile, he walked towards her table.

  "Excuse me, is this taken?"

  She looked up at him and took her headphones off, "No it's not, you can take it." she smiled. He just sat down, and her smile faded while continuing to read her book. Soon, she felt his gaze on herself and looked at him again, before she could say anything he said "I think I..." He pretended to think, narrowing his eyebrows, "I might know you... Katherine? Ashbourne High School?"

  She was surprised, "Yeah, it's me!" And felt bad for not remembering him for a moment. "And you must be..."

  "Benedict. That one guy who never talked to anyone and always got high grades."

  "Oh I remember you! Were you wearing glasses back then?" You're a bad, bad liar, my love. But I'm not.

  "Yes I was." He smiled cheekily, and shook her hand. It sent him vibrations inside... Cold fingertips, just like how he imagined they would feel. Soft and delicate. No nail polish, just manicured. Small and cute.

  "It's been a very long time. Eight years!" She said, still not remembering him but trying to.

  "Yes, you changed a lot! You're even more beautiful now." This made her giggle, "What? I'm telling the truth! You were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

  "Was I?" She smiled at him, and he knew why. She always thought she wasn't beautiful, and he knew it. And he wasn't lying, she really was beautiful.

  "Yes you were! Didn't anyone tell you? I never had to courage to tell you that I liked you because I thought you must have had a boyfriend."

  She giggled again, like she couldn't believe it. Someone liked her and couldn't tell her. Someone found her beautiful. Maybe he was just being kind.

  "I didn't. I wish you had told me, Benedict."

  "Well, I'm telling you now." He flashed her a cheeky grin before taking a sip of his Americano.

  "So... What do you do?" Her interest was obvious, and he'd seen that question coming. A complete geek, good reader, 26 year old virgin, shy, clever, beautiful. Hiding something in these dark pools of mystery... These dark brown eyes.

  "I'm a writer."

  "Oh really?!"  Her eyebrows shot up, and she leaned forward against the table, revealing cleavage. He tried not to look there, and smiled. "Yes. And you?"

  "I studied psychological counseling and guidance, I'm working at a school now."

  "I knew you were interested in psychology..." He looked at his watch and quickly stood up, "I'm so sorry, I have a meeting in thirty minutes. Can I have your number?"

  "Yeah, of course. Just tell me yours and I'll give you a ring."

  Oh no need, I have it already.

  He gave her his number and smiled at her. "It was nice seeing you again, Katherine. I'd love to meet up again sometime."

  "Me too, Benedict. Good luck with the meeting!"

  "Thank you, darling. Have a good day." He took his bag and turned his back, before she asked "I don't recall your surname..."

  "Cumberbatch, Benedict Cumberbatch." He waved at her and left the café with a smirk. Almost got you, baby. So naïve, so blind and silly yet intelligent. You have to be mine, and mine alone.

---

KathieD: I'm reading The Caged Will again. My favourite part is when he stabbed his stomach eleven times. He deserved it though! Not to mention that the main character hates odd numbers. He also never revealed his name...

I know, I know, I talk a LOT about the books but you know, this man is a LEGEND. No wonder why he's nowhere on the internet. No photos, no interviews, nothing at all. That makes him more mysterious... Timothy Carlton. We can't deduce anything by the name, can we? Maybe he's a real psycho. Who knows? I wonder if he reads people's comments... 

Mr Carlton, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I love your books! You're a great writer and I just wish I could get to know you in real life. Lots of love!

7.689 likes, 35 comments

  Samantha_X: I know how you feel, girl. He's an amazing writer! Too bad if he doesn't know that...

  KatherineD: Exactly! I just wish he would let us contact him sometime.

  Samantha_X: Same :(

  KatherineD: I have something to tell you, hmu!

  Samantha_X: Sure thing! X

  She was bouncing on her bed as she started telling her online friend. She's been telling almost everything about her life to her because they were like sisters now. They even met in real life and she was her best friend.

  K: He was wearing a long beige jacket and eyeglasses, with a leather postman bag, and smelt like mint. Did I say that he has blue eyes?

  S: Just your type, huh? Tell me what happened already!!!

  K: So he said he knew me from high school, (i'm not sure if I remember him) and I was the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and he liked me but couldn't tell me because he thought I had a boyfriend! I never did!

  S: And then?????!!!

  K: We kept talking, and he suddenly said he needed to go and asked for my number. I took his and gave him a ring, then asked his surname, Benedict Cumberbatch.

  S: So, did you call him? I think you should, you seem like you like him already lol

  K: Not after what happened last time, I don't want to have a boyfriend for a while tbh

  S: Wait, you didn't tell me, what happened?

  K: Never mind, I'll tell you later... Did I mention that he's a writer? I couldn't see any books online though. There's only one Instagram account with his name but it's private and I'm not sure if it's him, so I'll just wait for his call i guess :(

  S: Why don't you call him already? xD

  K: I don't want to seem desperateeee

  S: You won't!

  K: What if he was just being kind? I'll just wait, don't force me >:(

  S: Hahaha OK!

  She kept thinking of him all night, staring at the ceiling and wondering if he lied about being a writer... Maybe he didn't get his books published yet, she thought. Why would he lie about that? And... He was really attractive. The way he talked, the way he smiled... No, she didn't fall in love with a stranger! Not a stranger, a friend from high school. She couldn't remember him though. Or... Did she? Could he be the guy who never talked to anyone? But no, he had green eyes... No, blue. Green or blue? She sighed in frustration and took her phone, it was 1 AM and wasn't the right time to call him... Not to text him either.

  Still thinking of him, she fell asleep. 

[tenaciouspeacesandwich]

PSA: Online Safety

Ok so normally I don’t post personal stuff on here, but I saw something today that made me remember this and I knew I had to post it somewhere. 

When I was 14, I was really into digital art and online forums where people could post and discuss their paintings/drawings. As someone w/adhd and social anxiety, the internet was somewhere I felt I could be myself and be in control of my social interactions. It wasn’t as intimidating as making friends or talking to people in real life, and I built genuine social skills on there. However, I wasn’t aware of how dangerous these digital communities could be.

I had (still do) a really great relationship with my parents growing up, and they made sure to have the discussion with me about stranger danger and how you should never give away personal info online, all the classics. I never really hid anything I did on the computer from them, and they trusted me completely. They monitored our internet that was considered acceptable by most parenting standards (i.e. server blockers for adult content, etc.). But none of that mattered when I met someone on a discussion board who convinced me to meet up with them irl.

Obviously, looking back on it now years later, it was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Even at the time, I remember being a little scared when this person asked me to meet them at a public park. They were one of my online ‘art buddies’, ppl who critiqued and gave advice for your submissions, and we’d ‘known’ each other for a while. They complimented my sketches, gave me great tips on how to draw better, and I was really inspired by all the works they posted. Then the conversations meandered naturally from our posts to our lives, casual talk like how we hated homework but liked our teachers, our siblings were annoying, etc. 

WARNING: DESCRIPTION OF GROOMING AHEAD

Then, one day they messaged me complementing my self-portrait that I had posted. It was by no means realism, more of a cartoon version of myself, but their flattering words were enough to make my introverted,14-year-old self swoon. I was so shy in school, no one even knew i was there half the time, let alone told me i was beautiful. It made me feel special, valued, less alone. Looking back now, I see it for what it was. But at the time, those words only made me trust this person more. So when they mentioned that they lived in my city and asked if I wanted to meet up at a public park, it wasn’t a huge red flag to me. It was a public place, right? It’s not like they were asking for my social or my address or anything. And they wouldn’t be picking me up in their car, the park was close enough to my school that I could bike the 4 miles there myself. We were just gonna hang out at the picnic tables for a couple of hours, no big deal. 

Even though I’d seen this park before, I’d never actually been to it. My parents never took us there, and I always just assumed it was because there were other, closer parks to our house that were just as nice. It didn’t seem sketchy to me as I rode up closer, other than the fact that some of the playground equipment was rusty and the swing set had overgrown weeds on it. 

I remember this day so clearly even though it’s been 10 years now: I was pedaling up this mini-hill that went thru a neighborhood, and the park was at the bottom of the hill on the other side. I remember stopping at the top of the hill to catch my breath for a second on the sidewalk, and I looked down at the park. From where I was standing, I could see the picnic tables and the parking lot. My friend had been messaging me on my phone, and had been updating me ever since I left school on my bike. They said they were already there and had been waiting for me for the past 10 minutes, and that when I arrived I’d be able to find them really easily because they had a red convertible in the parking lot, and they had managed to get us a table that we didn’t have to share. I texted them when I left, asking if there were a lot of people at the park that day. Their reply was really distinct, because instead of ‘yeah, kinda’ or ‘not really’, they texted back; ‘Super crowded, some kind of birthday party at the gazebo- All kinds of moms lol’ . Reading that gave me assurance that I didn’t know I needed, and that’s why I remember the dread and fear I felt when I looked down at the park.

 There was no one there.

No party, no kids, nothing- the gazebo was empty, the playground deserted, everything was just quiet. 

Except for this one man sitting at a picnic table, who had to be at least my father’s age. There was a gray sedan parked in the lot (i’m assuming his, but I don’t know), and the man was looking down at his phone as he sat at the table.

I texted my ‘friend’ again, still hidden by the garage wall of someone’s house where my bike was parked at the top of the hill. My ‘friend’ was supposed to be a guy my age who was wearing a pink floyd t shirt and black jeans. I asked him, ‘is there food at the party?’

I got an instant reply; ‘Yeah, a grillout- smells amazing but i don’t think they’ll let us have anything lol’. 

I turned around and got on my bike, looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes, terrified that this guy might have seen and followed me. Thankfully, there was never anyone behind me, and I didn’t stop until I got home. I went to my room and deleted my entire account from that website, blocking my ‘friend’ first and deleting all of our conversation history in a panic before making sure every trace of me was gone forever. I sat there in my room for a while just staring at the wall. 

I don’t know for sure if the man that I saw had anything to do with the person I was messaging- I don’t know him or why he was at the park. All of these things are connections I drew from what I knew via the website and our conversation, and what I could see with my own eyes. But more powerful than any of that was the immense, strong gut feeling I had wash over me when I was about to meet that person. Something just felt very, very wrong. I was still happy and excited to meet them, but that happiness was soured by that innate reaction of dread and foreboding that just screamed at me to go away. 

I never told my parents about this, and still haven’t to this day. I know they would blame themselves for me being lured by this person (if that was in fact what happened), and that is the last thing I want- they did everything right.

That’s my entire point in posting this: my parents did everything by the book, took the experts advice, had an open and trusting relationship with me, and monitored our internet access. But I still made this happen, I still got my way, and I’m convinced that it’s by sheer luck that I’m still here today. I got up the courage to ask them one day, about 3 years after all this, when we were driving by that park why they never took us there as kids. My parents told me that park was notorious for drug use and crime, and that there were no working security cameras anywhere nearby. 

There have been so many people in my situation who unfortunately never came home. Please please please be careful who you talk to on the internet, and be even more careful about the excuses you tell yourself to justify why it’s ok for you to be communicating with strangers. I convinced myself that this was just a fun meet up with a friend, that it was safe because it was on a public property, and that it was ok for me to go by myself. I will remember this experience for the rest of my life. 

[theinvisibledreamergirl]

The Grinch Girl

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Klaw Craig)

Warning: Nope only fluff content and bits of sadness.

Word count: ~2.3 k

A.N: Hello again folks! Did you miss me? Well this fic came out unexpectedly and wasn’t even planned lol. But I hope you enjoy this and Merry Christmas! And I know you’re impatiently waiting for Part 6 of my OH AU 1 but still is in progress. THIS IS MY FIRST STAND-ALONE FIC EVER OMG AND I’M REALLY NERVOUSSSS.

———————————————————————

Basically from all of the staff of Edenbrook Hospital there was a certain someone who didn't like Christmas as everyone else- Dr. Klaudia Craig. This wasn't something new for everyone because they knew she detested it.

She was occupying herself with lots of different cases in order to escape from the festive moments and the cheering voices of her colleagues ready to decorate the Infamous Christmas Tree.

At least that's what she thought.

She wasn't into the winter holidays or any kind of other holidays. Maybe she was a Grinch but as much as she had information about him it was completely another history- he hated people but not Christmas. Whereas she hated both of them.

Klaw didn't have any particular reason to be angry with anyone but she couldn't bare the fact to be involved in such kind of parties. Lousy and noisy people were always a migraine for her and would drink two strong pills in a day at least saving from that horrible sinusitis.

Her free times would always consist of reading books or scientific researches on internet for new developments in oncology surgery as she was eager to see the latest news. Furthermore she would watch BBC every time when the British Government released new announcements about the future of the country whom she dearly missed it. Maybe for others it was such a granny thing but for her was the best cure.

And as for today she was stepping into the corridors seeing the nurses chirping and decorating the railways and doors in which she let an exasperated sigh while shaking her head.

Why do they like them so much? It's completely nonsense. All of that glitter. Everyone seems so happy but I'm sure this is a façade.

Well clearly from her point of view it was maybe a façade but actually everyone was happy and was enjoying at its fullest. And that's why she hated it.

She never got to celebrate any holidays with her family as they have been always busy in their works and didn't pay too much attention on how this would reflect on their daughter's character in the future. They would always justify their lateness in house because of the "duty". God she thought that word would never get out of her mind.

When one of her patients asked her to do the Gingerbread House together she stared blankly as she had no idea what was this thing and she immediately regretted her lie to the kid.

Oh yeah of course I'll help you but until i finish my shift alright?

The little girl was smart and understood that she wasn't telling the truth and aside from that she could tell that the doctor standing opposite her wasn't even pleased about it and she let a mischievous smirk.

"You don't know what Gingerbread is, don't you?"

The doctor gulped hardly as ever. The patient saw her hesitation and asked sincerely.

"Don't worry I'll ask someone else but can I ask you why don't you know about the Gingerbread?"

"Mary, I think you need to rest now after your long surgery, right?"

"Got it doc."

With that she trailed off furiously as she didn't want to awake again that memory.

She hated herself.

She didn't want to be like this.

Harsh.

Cold demeanor.

Selfish.

And afraid to be happy.

When she went to the elevator she heard Sienna calling from behind.

“Hey Klaw!"

Oh god please don’t tell me she’s going to invite me to that party.

"Hi Sienna, how you've been?"

"Perfect! May I say everything is going to be awesome and I can't wait to celebrate with all of us in our apartment! You'll come too, right?"

God she wanted so bad to celebrate. But her logical answer was always ahead of what heart truly wanted. You can say without fear that she was an introverted ass.

"Uhm actually I won't."

Sienna's smile immediately faltered and shook her head in confusion. "Why?” Before Klaw could explain herself she abruptly said “Look If you're worried about those scumbag surgical residents, don't worry we won't invite them. And also-"

"Sienna it's not about them. It's just..."

"Just what?"

I don't celebrate Christmas Eve and I don’t have any intention to because I just simply hate it.

“It’s about patients Si and we have lot of work to do especially Dr. Ramsey won’t let me to finish the shift that easy so I’m leaving-”

“Not so fast gorgeous." a sing-along voice stopped her. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Oh, Bryce." She put a plastered smile while laughing nervously. As always. "Uhm, well I have to go to a patient now heh."

"Tsk. I don’t believe any single thing what you’re saying girlie.”

She wanted to seem so believable but this time was out of her luck. Before she would protest again he interrupted.

"Come on Klaw. We already know you've been working your ass since five in the morning and you haven't even eaten anything today needless to say- you haven't even wished us for Christmas."

"Oh really?" He nodded "Well- Merry Christmas Bryce!"

He frowned in confusion and was crooking his eyes in suspicion as she sounded differently from usual. Something was wrong and he was about to ask her again when he heard that annoying voice.

"Rookie!" Klaw's eyes widened but in the meantime she thanked him in silence for saving her.

"In my office."

"Yes Dr. Ramsey."

With that she excused herself to Sienna and Bryce who stayed mouth agape and Sienna was finally the one to break the silence.

"So...Plan A and B are ruined right?"

"Yeah" he slid from his pocket the phone in which he called a number. "Jackie." He let a defeated sigh. "Tell the others we need a plan C. That old man Ramsey destroyed everything."

--------------

When the elevator reached the 3rd floor Ethan guided Klaw to his office gently pushing the door for her to enter first. They made an arrangement before she started her residency- to remain professional but her gut feeling told that something not good was about to happen.

What was weird was the fact that the lights of his office weren't turned on but only those of his little Christmas Tree. She rolled her eyes annoyingly.

Great. Now I have to deal with another Christmas enthusiast.

He saw her expression and when she turned as if questioning, he gave her a rueful smile. "Please sit."

She did as he said raising her left eyebrow. "So? What is the reason you called me?"

"Simple. I want to find a treatment for a patient whose brain is not functioning as usual." He said ironically which she didn't get it.

"What are her symptoms?"

Even though it was not an usual question he would ask as every time- she was ready to show her high diagnostics knowledge despite being a surgeon.

"It's a difficult case and a rare one. I'm not sure if you're going to handle it."

"There's nothing I can't handle Dr. Ramsey." She said while raising her head in confidence. "Remember what you said to me in my intern year? When there isn't a path, you make your own."

"Fair well. This girl is about 5 years old and she doesn't celebrate Christmas because she hates it. What do you think we should do?"

"What? I don't-" Then it all clicked.

It was about her.

"You too?" She scoffed in disbelief while standing up "I really can't believe this!"

When she was reaching the door handle a strong grip on her waist held her in place and growled in her left ear that made her shivered. "You're not going anywhere!"

"What happened with being professional Dr. Ramsey huh?"

He shut his eyes and inhaled sharply. "Please. Tell me what's wrong. I know that you're worried about something."

"You don't deserve to know anything!" With that she kicked his crotch with her left knee letting herself free from him. That self-defense instinct she had- it was going to be the death of him one day.

"And you don't tell me what should I do!"

"Is that so Dr. Craig? Remember that I'm your boss."

"Ouch. So scary. What are you going to do then? Pin me to the wall?" She let out a weary chuckle "Remember Ramsey- I'm not going to play hot and cold game again with you because I've had enough! And don't even try to do the victim's face here 'cause you know that it's your fault that we're in this position now!"

She was the most infuriating woman he had ever met in his life and maybe this was the reason why he wanted her so badly. Her gorgeous face etched to his mind every night before sleep. When she was always angry she looked like a goddess to him no matter how and he would bow down just for her. One word or only one action from her and he was her slave.

"What happened Dr. Ramsey? Cat got your tongue?" said in a sing-along voice and when he didn't answer she wanted to use the opportunity to leave but his eyes were trailing her full parted lips.

No. No. No. Don't let him kiss you Klaw. Just don't.

But his actions were faster than she thought and her fear came to life. He kissed her such gently that made her cheeks blush enough to stop arguing. When they parted Ethan set both of his hands to her face trailing her cheekbones and temples saying in a soothing voice.

"Now, will you tell me what is going on with your cold behaviour?"

She nodded forgetting everything in what they agreed on. Maybe she would regret it later but it seemed that she didn't care for now.

---------

"So that's why I hate it. I mean I don't want to hate Christmas. It's just I don't want to leave the impression to the others that I hate holidays. I don't want to look like Grinch but still...Ughh I don't know.” she placed her palms in her temples. “I feel such in shame now like I don't even know what Gingerbread is!"

"Why haven't you searched on the internet before?"

"Well this is the case. I've never shown interest in it. The only thing that I would search were always something about science in general and projects for school. And I've never received Christmas gifts before which makes me well-" the last words she said almost in a whisper. "- not appreciated person."

Ethan could see himself in her somehow. After his mother left he didn't want to celebrate Christmas anymore as that day was one of the worst of his life. But his father Alan insisted that his son should see his future and letting that pain to go by every year celebrating and reminding him to be a strong man just like now. Whereas for Klaw he felt his jaw clenched in frustration when her parents now that they weren’t anymore never celebrated and not even letting her to go at least at her best friend's house.

"Do you think I'm a Grinch Girl, Ethan?"

When she called him in his first name he felt his chest warming as she was slowly becoming more openly to him.

"No." He said without hesitation. "It's clearly that you were raised like this and you should not blame yourself for that. You're not the only one who doesn't celebrate Christmas Eve. There are many people who don't even know what Christmas is so-" he put a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. "No, you're not a Grinch but...A grumpy one may I- agh!" he winced when she pinched his arm then smacked it furiously.

"That hurt."

"You deserved that."

"Seriously? I'm trying to understand you whereas-" she cut him off guard with another kiss but on his cheeks instead.

"Thank you. For always being nice to me."

"Hey, you know I would do everything for you?"

"Yeah, I know. But what am I going to do now?"

"First things first" he stood up from the couch where they were staying "You're going to say to everyone who you meet the magic words: 'Merry Christmas!'"

He chuckled when she let a groan. "And then you're going to pick some gifts in the shop for your friends because this is the value of this holiday- sharing is caring. And about gifts-"

He went to his drawer of his white wooden-metallic desk to reveal an object packed in a rectangular shape with a white strap.

"Wait is that-?"

"Yes it's for you". She stared at him. "Open it."

She took it hesitating at first because this was the first gift ever someone made especially for her and was fidgeting her fingers not knowing where to start because she didn't want to ruin the way how beautifully it was packed.

When she let go of the strap she gasped when there was an old book of Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Grey and there were two milk chocolates Fin Carré which was her favourite flavour and a little card were was written:

I'm sorry for being an asshole.

Merry Christmas Rookie!

E.R

"So...uhm do you like it?" He scratched the back of his neck nervously. " I know you're a bookworm and I remembered that Oscar Wilde was the only Irish author whom you didn't read so I went to the National Library and asked if there was still an old copy of it and luckily it was the last one."

She immediately left the gift in his couch and pressed a lingering kiss on his lips and said in a whisper while tearing up "Merry Christmas Ethan. And I'm sorry too for being grumpy and harsh to you."

"You don't have to apologise to me. Your friends and your patient Mary need to hear this. Okay?"

"Okay. Seni seviyorum. [ I love you ] “

“Uhm what?”

She giggled “I’ll tell you when the year ends.”

“But-”

“A girl has to keep some secrets, right?” said when she opened the door and left contently with it.

For the first time in her life Dr. Klaudia Craig felt a radiation coming through her body.

She was happy and grateful.

P.S: The words ‘seni seviyorum’ come from Turkish language. And no- my MC is not Turkish but British lol. She is a polyglot that’s why.

Perma tag: @starrystarrytrouble | @junggoku | @maurine07 | @nadeen-ahmed11 | @hopelessromantics4life  | @lillylavander20 | @caseyvalentineramsey | @custaroonie |  @miss-smrxtiee  |  @drstellavalentine | @archxxronrookie  |  @binny1985

if anyone else wants to be tagged please let me know! xoxo

[lavenderek]

I Know What It's Like To Be A Difficult Person: an introspective

i rewatched a recent unhhh yesterday where someone asked trixie and katya how to deal with their annoying coworker before they flipped out on them. and trixie said, sympathetic of the annoying coworker, "annoying people don't know they're annoying. from their perspective their coworker just snapped at them one day." and i felt seen.

like ten years ago, i used to be facebook friends with this friend of a friend, and sometimes i would comment on her posts with goofy jokes just trying to be tongue in cheek, and she would usually like my comments or reply laughing

and one day i was at work and got a notification: one of her friends replied to a comment i had made fully like, "okay what is your problem? you always leave the meanest rudest comments on her posts and i'm sick of it, if you don't like her why are you still facebook friends with her, you need to stop"

you guys when i tell you i was blindsided. it was like someone had punched me in the gut. i don't at all remember any of the comments i made because it was a decade ago but also because i wasn't thinking about them as i made them, they were just funny offhand comments to me.

i responded apologizing and saying i had no idea i was coming across that way and promising i wouldn't comment anymore, like at the time i didn't know what else to do. and i remember she DMed me like "i'm sorry about him i didn't know he was going to say that, you don't have to stop commenting." and i answered saying it was ok, i didn't realize i was upsetting people, or something. but i still never did comment again, and she never brought it up again, and eventually i ended up unfriending her anyway lol

like i really had thought we were cool, i really thought it was a fun bantery thing. and like i said, i don't remember my comments but i do remember exactly where i was standing when i saw what he'd said. i still remember feeling the air sucked out of my lungs and i remember going into the bathroom at work and crying about it. i had never even wondered, i had never suspected for a second that anyone would be bothered by my comments. the thought had never crossed my mind.

real quick disclaimer: every time i say something on here about a memory i have, somebody shows up in my asks thinking i've been dwelling on and weeping over it for years, so: (1) it was a long time ago and i'm not upset about it, (2) i know "it's hard to judge blah blah blah through the internet," (3) i'm not really worried about what these people think of me, (4) i don't even remember their names.

i'm just thinking about how easy it is to make an enemy lmao. you come across like a dick and now somebody hates your guts. you can find out that someone you thought you were pals with has been venting about you to their other friends for fucking months (has happened to me more than once). i'm really not still upset about that facebook thing but i'd be lying if i said it didn't rock me to my core lmfao, it really changed me. i spent the next ten years trying to figure out how to tell if somebody secretly doesn't like me. i haven't figured it out yet but i have picked up some tips

like six years ago i had a friend i had thought i was super close to suddenly send me like two paragraphs listing my various transgressions, and i apologized, and she was like "it's ok, i got really worked up there, i understand if you don't want to be friends anymore." which, here's one of my hot tips, MEANT "now that i've blown up at you we can finally part ways," but which i took at face fuckin value and i said "no it's ok, you were just being honest," and my clown ass kept trying to be her friend and fix this accused behavior for months. and no, her ignoring my texts for longer periods of time did not clue me in. sorry [redacted]! (also i'm medicated now, so some of your concerns have been addressed, you have my number)

i even found out two years ago that one of my coworkers who i had never spoken to hated me specifically because one time i had been pulled into a meeting right when it was our team's turn to clean the kitchenette and she thought i'd just blown it off akhfksj. hated me. confirmed when i made friends with one of her friends. hated me. two years ago. i'm a grown person with a grown up office job. you never grow out of bizarre personal conflicts, you just learn to be like "welp" and reach a point where it doesn't hurt so much as confuse you lmfao

the morals of this post are the following:

annoying people don't know they're annoying

people with adhd can't read between your weird lines

if somebody lists all the reasons you have been a bad friend and then doesn't respond to your texts for three days, they're not just mad at you, that was them trying to break up with you lmfao

dealing with other people will always be difficult, but it won't always be devastating when it doesn't work out

also for this reason watching cracker in the last allstars was weirdly triggering to me lmfao everybody was like "is miz cracker playing mind games 🤔 " no dingdong she just said something she shouldn't have and wasn't able to change anyone's minds for the rest of the show please try assuming the best about people for two (2) seconds

[yuna-dan]

48. meeting again at a high school reunion au with prinxiety?

Hi!! I live the way it ended, and while my intention was to write it romantically, i think it can be read as platonic. Also, wow, it’s been ages since i’ve written a straight relationship (it will make sense, roman is a bisexual™)

I like the way it ended, but not the rest of it. I think it’s very slow.

--

Warning: Mentions of bullying, racism and transphobia, nothing graphic though. 

Buy me a kofi? [Help me, pls] | Masterpost

Tag list: @just-some-gt-trash \ @theunoriginaldaisy \ @awkwardkindanerd \ @cas-is-a-hunter \ @underthesea73 \ @mariita-2006 \ @prinxietyforever \ @you-deserve-the-worlds \ @batpinkstudentpersona \ @such-as-we-are-made-such-we-be \ @obviouslyelementary \ @floatyghosty \ if you wanna be added to the tag list please interact with this

--

Highschool was weird.

That was an understatement, clearly. For Román Sánchez, a queer kid from an immigrant family, it was nightmare. When he graduated and went to college, he promised himself he would never look back.

Sometimes, he did regret it. Specially for Virgil.

A sigh escaped his lips and he leant his face against the window of the bus, Virgil was his best friend on that period of his life. He was his rock on that time, and Román was his. They stayed in contact a few months after graduation, until Román moved away for college.

It wasn’t that they ended up bad, fighting or just ignoring each other. They just… drift away. They sent each other merry Christmas or felices fiestas or even hey, lol do you remember that time I was so drunk I broke your closet? but somewhere in the middle they stopped.

It was sad, for him at least.

He wondered if Virgil was doing okay. He tried to look him up on his Facebook and Twitter, but apparently, he deleted his profiles.

Román pushed his twin slightly when Remus started dozing off, but at least that broke the train of thought going through his head.

To be honest, he was only coming to this “Lovely Highschool Reunion” in hopes to see Virgil again, and to maybe rubbed on the faces of everyone that bullied him that he was being a very successful actor, who wasn’t hiding his sexuality and was pretty much happy with his life.

Remus left out a snore, breaking Román’s thoughts once again.

“You’re gross.” He mumbled, staring into the window.

“Your face is gross.” His twin grumbled back.

Román laughed softly, and closed his eyes, hoping to sleep a little.-

---

They arrived at a hotel, a day before the party.

“I’m glad my bro is rich, otherwise I would’ve probably ended up sleeping on a park.” Remus said, entering their shared room because Román refused to pay $45 dollars for another one.

“I’m glid mi bri is rich, menso [dumb].” He mimicked, earning a playful glare from his brother who was unpacking.

Remus ended up majoring in psychology, and was working on a police station, helping with profiles of criminals and offering his shrinks advices to policemen who needed it. Román couldn’t be prouder of him.

He remembered, how back in highschool he would prefer dead rather than interact with his twin. They were, to this day, opposites. He hated his guts. That changed, of course, not only after their parents passed away but also as they matured and realized that they only had each other.

Román was bullied most of his highschool years for being a latino, so he tried to hide his heritage as much as possible, while Remus was the latino who would yell Cielito Lindo when something good happened, he even grew a mustache for fuck sake. Román hated it, it made his blood boiled with shame and rage.

Eventually, and with Remus help, he accepted that he wasn’t bullied because he was latino, but because people are assholes.

Now, Remus and Román were best friends, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Wanna go out tonight?” Remus asked, throwing himself at one of the beds.

“Maybe, for a drink.”

“Or… we could stay up late trying to chismear [gossip], I heard that Brad isn’t coming cuz he’s in jail, can you believe?”

Román held back a tiny smile, “Why do you keep contact with this people, Re?”

He shrugged, “El chisme llega a mi, yo no lo pido.” [Gossip arrives, I don’t ask for it]

“Yeah, sure, viejo chismoso.”

In the end, they did end up just chatting and gossiping around their ex-classmates lives, even checking their profiles on the internet and laughing at the cringest photos.

“Do you think he will come?”

“Mmm? Vee?” Remus blocked his phone, “I mean, probably…” He trailed off, not knowing what else to say, “You want him to come?”

“I wish he did…”

Remus hummed, probably thinking as the shrink he is, but said nothing.

When Remus tried to speak again, Roman was already asleep.

--

This was a bad idea.

Annie stared into the mirror, at the purple dress that Patton had bought him. It was weird, how back in highschool he barely talked to him, and now he was his best friend. Even though, that word tasted weird on her tongue.

“I’m not sure about this.” She said, twirling with the dress on.

“I think you look great, Ann.”

She grumbled.

She would stare into the eyes of people who still thought about her as Virgil, and she wasn’t even sure how to feel about it. She wanted to see Román again, of course, and while she knew she still had his phone, still she wanted to tell him on his face.

“Hey Ro, guess what?”

She postponed it for three years, and now this was probably her last chance. Patton said she was being dramatic, but she felt as if she owed Ro an explanation on why she suddenly stopped talking to him.

She still stalked him on Facebook, more times than she’s proud on admitting. Since she deleted the Virgil Sanders profile and created Annie Sanders, she wasn’t brave enough to send a friend request to him, but she could still see some of his posts, as well as his Instagram account, and since Roman was an actor, he was more public there.

“Stop overthinking, An.” Pat hit her softly on her shoulder, “it’s going to be okay.”

“What if someone makes fun?”

“Then that’s their problem, sweetheart.”

“I hate when you’re optimistic and right.”

Patton chuckled, but didn’t say anything.

--

“This is boring.” Remus nodded, “The food it’s awful.” Another nod, “People are being hypocrites.” Nod, “And he’s not here.”

“Hey, Ro!” Someone interrupted whatever Remus was going to say, and he just shrugged and went back to his drink and probably texting his significant other. Román turned around, with a smile on his face waiting for another person to say something about how much he changed, only to find Pat and a girl.

“Pat!” He said, a little more excited. Patton wasn’t his friend, per se, but he wasn’t a jerk back then, “How are you?”

Patton seemed nervous, but then again, a highschool reunion wasn’t exactly a place to be calm. “Huh, I’m doing fine Ro, I see you’re in acting, I was very happy when I saw you got a leading role.”

Román felt himself smiling softly, a genuine one, “Oh, thank you very much.”

Then a wicked smile appeared on Pat’s face, grabbed the wrist of the woman behind him, “I actually went with An to see the movie, you should talk with her!” He then turned to Remus, who was watching the whole scene with an amused face, “Ree~ Please come with me!” and grabbed his twin’s arm and walked away.

That was weird.

“Hello? I’m Roman, nice to meet you, Ann.”

The girl looked away, she was blushing. Roman noticed that she was pretty, a sharp jawline, and pretty green eyes her eyes looked like Vee’s. Her gaze was on the floor, as if she was trying to make herself smaller.

“You, huh, I know you.” She looked up, like she was scared, “I meant it like, we’ve already met…”

“Huh? I don’t remember you. Higschool was horrible, for me anyways.”

Ann made a face, like she was hurt, “Then why did you came?”

“I wanted to meet someone. My bestfriend, we lost contact. Maybe you know him? His name is Virgil!”

She winced when the name left his mouth, “I huh, I am him. I mean… surprise?”

Román stared at her, “I’m not understanding you, Ann…”

She took a deep breath and lock her emerald with his own eyes. “I am Virgil.” She winced again, “I was Virgil. I’m trans. Nice to see you again.”

--

For Ann, time stopped the moment she said the last word. She knew that Román wouldn’t be transphobic, but at the same time she was so damn scared.

“Oh.” He simply said.

Then she felt the way Ro’s arms were circling around her, and she melted instantly on the embrace, “Goddamit Ann.” He was wetly laughing, “You could’ve just told me.”

“I didn’t want to tell you over text, and then… time flies.”

“I missed you so much! I have so much to tell you!”

And just like that, it was like time stopped around them.

It was like time didn’t even went by.

--

I don’t think there are a lot of MtF fics, and I really wanted to write one, but I wasn’t sure how to, so I hope this is okay.

Thank you so much for reading!!

[gideongrace]

Talking amongst ourselves - fanfic writer interviews: @ihni

(Originally, these interviews were done more conversationally, but this interview is a LONG one! So I edited it down for tumblr. You can read the whole unedited, uncut interview over on a03! There are pictures involved. :)

Please say your first name, your age, your pronouns, the fandoms you write for and provide a link to your a03. You can also mention your sexual orientation or other details, if you'd like.

 Ihni:

My real name is Moa, but I go by Ihni online. On AO3, I have an account under Ihni (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni) but that's for rhymes (and doodles). I only wrote rhymes/poetry for a long time, and when I started writing fic, I wanted to put that under another pen name. I was NOT comfortable writing stories for YEARS. Now, though, I don't care. So, I write fics under the pen name Thei (https://archiveofourown.org/users/thei/).

It's all Stranger Things, these days. Harringrove (because I love the fandom and I like the two of them interacting) and Billy-centric (because I love his character, SO MUCH).

I am ace and aro, so my fics tend to not contain any sex (I have ALLUDED to it a couple of times, but that's basically as far as I go). I am also just as happy to write fics without any romantic or sexual relationships at all. Billy and Steve can be buddies only, as far as I'm concerned.

How do you feel about being aroace when so much of fanfic is all about romance and sex?

Ihni:

I live by the tried and tested rule of "don't like, don't read". 

There is a lot of romance in our fandom, for sure. But it's not like it's lovey-dovey IN OUR FACE romance, you know? 97% of Harringrove fics are two dumb boys who are bad at communication and who can't deal with Feelings. And I fucking live for that! Also, even the lovey-dovey fluffy romance stuff is cute, when it's them. I may not want a relationship for myself, but I don't mind at all if the boys are in one! (If they want it, they deserve it <3)

And as for sex ... well. I can read about sex, if it's well written or if it furthers the plot. If it's too graphic, I tend to scroll past it though, or just skim through it. It doesn't... give me a lot? I guess. Like, it's not like I read "smut" in the tags and go "oooh I have to read this!" - rather the opposite, in fact. I can read it, but it's not something I actively look for, and when I stumble upon it, I don't always read all of it. If I know the writer, I'll probably read through it to honor their work, though.

I just won't ever leave a "omg that was so hot!" comment! XD If someone expects that from me, they'll be disappointed (and I'm constantly terrified of disappointing or offending people for NOT commenting on their smut).

Basically, I am the master of my own fandom experience, and if something makes me uncomfortable I will keep away from it. Simple as that.

More people should live by that rule.

What's your writing process like?

 Ihni:

Uuuuuuuugh.

That's an interpretation of my writing process.

No, but.

I usually get SUPER INSPIRED to write a specific scene, or concept... and THAT part goes well, but then I have to build a STORY around it, and that takes SUCH A LONG TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT!

And also, usually, it gets out of hand.

I usually have to force myself to get the words in, honestly. And also, I get real tired of what I'm writing, real fast. So I have to force myself to finish (I have a few WIPs that are more than a year in the making...) before moving on to other things. (And I usually write the other things inbetween, anyway.)

I get easily distracted, when I write. Like, actually sitting down and writing takes an hour and a half. Then I MIGHT write for like twenty minutes, lol.

Cold Turkey Writer was a godsend XD.

If I have internet on while I'm writing, not a lot will be written, let's just ... let's just say that.

How do you edit?

Ihni:

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Erm.

Well.

Sometimes, I read through it once, and change a few things, and let that be it.

In a couple of cases, for the longer ones, I have actually made an effort to read through it more than once. (The problem being that by then, I'm so sick of it that I will skim through it just to get it over with.)

A couple of times, a friend has read through it for me, and given me pointers. Which is VERY HELPFUL! But they've offered to do it for me, I would never ask it of someone.

And about the editing process ... I check for spelling mistakes, or when something sounds wrong, or looks wrong ... and then I fix it, so it looks and sounds better in my head. I don't know. That's editing, right?

What fanfic authors do you admire?

Ihni:

In the Harringrove fandom, I have to mention LEMONLOVELY, because I'm in love with the way she writes Billy, and the way she's shaping her fics as she goes, and the way her attention to detail brings a whole mood (I am OBSESSED with her "Words Left Unsaid" fic, and am probably that fic's biggest fan).

LYMRICKS, because fucking hell, they sure can write a fic that draws you in. There's something about long sentences in combination with short sentences that really makes them easy to read, and the language is like a punch to the gut, at times.

CALLIEB, because I love their stories and I'm currently following "Second Thoughts" and I love how they write everyone like ... like they're holding their breath, waiting for something.

And I'm not even gonna mention any others by name because I'm terrible with names and I'm bound to forget someone and I'm just, I don't want to do that. Our fandom is full of talented writers, and I just. If I've commented on your fic, I read through all of it and I liked it. If I haven't - well, I HAVE been writing more lately = less time to read, and I have like 100 fic tabs open on all of my devices ... I hope to get there, some time!

In other fandoms, let me mention PeaceHeather (for how they write Loki and that world), aloneintherain (such good whump!), isaDanCurtisproduction (the absolute best Spideypool!) and gaelicspirit (who writes lovely angsty whumpy Musketeers fics). Like. Just to mention 0.01%, or something.

I don't think any of them, particularly, have impacted my style - because I don't HAVE a style - but I soak up every word of every fanfic I ever read, and if one sentence is a particularly pretty string of words, I will copy & paste it into a word document that is now 170 pages long, or screenshot it to keep it forever. ❤️

Words. <3

What's your favorite story of yours?

What's your least favorite story of yours?

What's your favorite line you've ever written?

Ihni:

Like, in what SENSE? Even though I know my writing isn't up to par, they're still my babies. Still my creations. I love them in different ways! Like. I love "Coming Back" because it was the longest I had written back then, and it's probably the one I am most pleased about, writing-wise, and it's also the one I went through and edited the most. So it feels like the one I worked the most on.

I love "Toy Soldiers" because it was a totally self-indulgent piece of writing that I wrote for the joy of it, and because I wanted to read it and no one else was about to write it for me.

I love "About Apologies" because something about it pleases me, it was an experiment that didn't fail, and I like it more and more with time.

I love "Less of a mistake, more of a miscalculation" because I had fun while writing it, and it turned out kind of like I wanted it to, plot-wise.

I love "Actions and reactions", because I had no idea what I was doing back then, but I still did it, and somehow it got long and I still don't know how that happened.

And I realise that this makes me sound a little self-centered, but I worked hard on them. I love them, even if they're my ugly and imperfect babies. And even if I cringe if I re-read certain parts XD

I guess my least favorite story of mine (and I'm guessing we're talking Stranger Things things here?) is "Not unusual" because a) I never re-read it and b) it was the start of something that I have to actually FINISH at some point and ugh, that was not the original plan. If we're talking least favorite stories in all fandoms, then definitely "In which there are mistakes made", which was a Teen Wolf fic, and the reason why I don't do WIPs anymore. The last chapter was written simply to fucking END it, and ugh, I hate it.

The favorite line I've ever written ...? I don't know. Are we talking in fic? Because I write my best stuff in comments, honestly. :p I don't think I have an answer for that one, actually. Sorry :S

What part of writing is easiest for you?

What part of writing is hardest for you?

 Ihni:

Easiest? Dialogue. I like dialogue. Like, as a non-English speaker I can at least imagine a plausible exchange of words, and banter, and make it sound somewhat realistic, I imagine.

Hardest? The rest. Like, some people are just fucking WIZARDS with words, can write these long descriptive sentences that perfectly sets the mood for when a character gracefully moves across the room ... whereas I am just, "He stood up and walked over. End of fucking story."

What do you do when you're struggling for inspiration?

Ihni:

Give up?

Or do something else.

Or go and read. (That's basically the same as giving up.)

Or, if I'm still writing, I go to another part of the story and write THAT, and hope that I'll feel like connecting the two pieces, later.

Inspiration is a bitch.

Who introduced you to fandom and when?

Ihni:

Oh god. I am old. I don't remember. 

I started writing stories when I was real young, and I was always reading something. I started writing stories with my friends when I was a teenager. Then we discovered the internet (yes, this was around the time when we got internet access in school and at home, told you I was old!) and when doing that, I guess we found more like-minded people.

Fanfics ... weren't an organized thing, back then. But I've been reading them, and been in fandoms, ever since I discovered that there were people online who liked the same things that I liked.

I would say, actively, from maybe around 19-20 years old? Like, that was ACTIVE fandom-ing.

What is your advice to fellow writers?

How often do you jump between fandoms?

How long have you been writing?

Ihni:

As a WRITER, I am not the best person to give advice to writers, I think. I'd rather TAKE advice than give it, at this point.

As a READER, my advice is to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, because you are doing a good thing and you are creating a version of a world that is yours, versions of characters that you can shape into anything, and SOMEONE out there will love you for it (probably me).

I jump between fandoms ... hmm, as a WRITER? Seldom. Billy's my jam and I'm not moving.

As a READER? All the time. I mean, I'm pretty deep into Harringrove and Billy and Stranger Things, but sometimes I need something light-hearted, and then I go back to some of my basic fandoms, and read something else. I will never run out of things to read. 

❤️

And how long have I been writing? FOREVER. I wrote when I was young, and thought I was going to be an author (wrote in Swedish, back then). Then I wrote when I was a teen, for fun. Then I stopped writing. Then I started writing rhymes, in English, because it was a craft I could do and train in, and it was short pieces. And only in recent years (very recent), have I started writing fics. And now, I write long-ass fics in English, so I guess I have at least come a long way!

Why do you write?

Ihni:

...

I just sat and stared at the screen for a good ten seconds.

I'd say that it differs.

Sometimes, I write because I want to READ something and no one has written it (or is going to).

Sometimes, I write because I want a very specific thing or feeling, and it doesn't exist yet.

Sometimes, I write because I am inspired.

Sometimes, I write because I want to.

Sometimes, I write because of a deadline.

Sometimes, I write because there's something in my head that Won't Leave Me The Fuck Alone until I get it out.

Sometimes, I write for fun.

Sometimes, I write because I want to hurt.

Sometimes, I write because I need to.

Sometimes, I write because I want to become better at it; learn; reach towards the writers whose work I love.

And sometimes, I just sit and stare at a document, don't write a single fucking word, and go watch a movie instead.

[acoolchickouthere13]

February 27, 2019: Taylor drops Easter egg

Feb. 28, 2019 abigail drops matching Easter egg and quotes Panic! In a post about Taylor(EASTER egg)

March 2019 Karlie and JK move into 211 Elizabeth St.

March 4, 2019 LA

(Wears the same shirt December 2019)

Taylor announces her mom is battling cancer again- Elle article “30 things I learned before 30” march 6, 2019

“Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble. While it may be born from having been raised to be a polite young lady, this can contribute to some of your life’s worst regrets if someone takes advantage of this trait in you. Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back. Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you. Trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal. It may not feel normal to me because all of my trials and failures are blown out of proportion and turned into a spectator sport by tabloid takedown culture (you had to give me one moment of bitterness, come on). BUT THAT SAID, it’s good to mess up and learn from it and take risks. It’s especially good to do this in your twenties because we are searching. That’s GOOD. We’ll always be searching but never as intensely as when our brains are still developing at such a rapid pace. No, this is not an excuse to text your ex right now. That’s not what I said. Or do it, whatever, maybe you’ll learn from it. Then you’ll probably forget what you learned and do it again.... But it’s fine; do you, you’re searching…. Banish the drama. You only have so much room in your life and so much energy to give to those in it. Be discerning. If someone in your life is hurting you, draining you, or causing you pain in a way that feels unresolvable, blocking their number isn’t cruel. It’s just a simple setting on your phone that will eliminate drama if you so choose to use it….Apologizing when you have hurt someone who really matters to you takes nothing away from you. Even if it was unintentional, it’s so easy to just apologize and move on. Try not to say “I’m sorry, but...” and make excuses for yourself. Learn how to make a sincere apology, and you can avoid breaking down the trust in your friendships and relationships….Before you jump in headfirst, maybe, I don’t know...get to know someone! All that glitters isn’t gold, and first impressions actually aren’t everything. It’s impressive when someone can charm people instantly and own the room, but what I know now to be more valuable about a person is not their charming routine upon meeting them (I call it a “solid first 15”), but the layers of a person you discover in time. Are they honest, self-aware, and slyly funny at the moments you least expect it? Do they show up for you when you need them? Do they still love you after they’ve seen you broken? Or after they’ve walked in on you having a full conversation with your cats as if they’re people? These are things a first impression could never convey.Playing mind games is for the chase. In a real relationship or friendship, you’re shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t tell the other person how you feel, and what could be done to fix it. No one is a mind reader. If someone really loves you, they want you to verbalize how you feel. This is real life, not chess.

Learning the difference between lifelong friendships and situationships. Something about “we’re in our young twenties!” hurls people together into groups that can feel like your chosen family. And maybe they will be for the rest of your life. Or maybe they’ll just be your comrades for an important phase, but not forever. It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories. Fashion is all about playful experimentation. If you don’t look back at pictures of some of your old looks and cringe, you’re doing it wrong. See: Bleachella. How to fight fair with the ones you love. Chances are you’re not trying to hurt the person you love and they aren’t trying to hurt you. If you can wind the tension of an argument down to a conversation about where the other person is coming from, there’s a greater chance you can remove the shame of losing a fight for one of you and the ego boost of the one who “won” the fight. I know a couple who, in the thick of a fight, say “Hey, same team.” Find a way to defuse the anger that can spiral out of control and make you lose sight of the good things you two have built. They don’t give out awards for winning the most fights in your relationship. They just give out divorce papers. I remember people asking me, “What are you gonna write about if you ever get happy?” There’s a common misconception that artists have to be miserable in order to make good art, that art and suffering go hand in hand. I’m really grateful to have learned this isn’t true. Finding happiness and inspiration at the same time has been really cool. I learned that disarming someone’s petty bullying can be as simple as learning to laugh. In my experience, I’ve come to see that bullies want to be feared and taken seriously. A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet. The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I can’t tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It’s the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll’s hateful Instagram comment with “lol.” It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I’ll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it, and thrive in spite of it….I’ve come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone. Step into the daylight and let it go.”(x)

Feb. 2019 probably when ME! music video is shot(it’s either feb. 9 or March 9). “A record player is playing in the background[of the music video]. “It’s an old-timey, 1940s-sounding instrumental version of ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ ’’ Swift says. (x)

March 12, 2019 hung out with SelGo AND SHE’S HOLDING BENJAMIN BEFORE ANYONE KNEW ABOUT HIM ITS AN EASTER EGG WOW WTF

March 19, 2019

April 19, 2019 The Netflix movie “Someone Great” premiers, which she says in an Ellen interview May 15, 2019 is the inspiration for DBATC

April 22, 2019 NY

April 23, 2019 uses female pronouns in “NYD” at Time 100 Gala

[quietlysatan]

An Invincible Summer - ShanaStoryteller, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T for read the warnings, but don’t worry too much because of them

Favorite Quote(s): I legit wanna tattoo this next quote on me somewhere

"Oh, the things that can be accomplished through ignorance of their impossibility," 

And this Straight Up Fact

“There’s no such thing as cheating as long as you win,” Natsu says, and the brat’s not wrong.

This one’s just funny

“Chouza,” Inoichi forces himself to say evenly, “Your teachings produced Ebisu and goddamned Gai.”

“Genma’s pretty normal though,” Chouza sighs, “I never could get through to that boy.”

Gently Gai casually caring about Kakashi’s well-being is my entire reason for living, speaking of which if someone wants to come be my Gai that’d be really fucking nice because us Kakashi’s don’t do too well on our own

He hesitates, but says, "Not that I do not find your newfound mentorship to be a most youthful endeavor, but -"

"I don't know," Kakashi interrupts his friend, "I met her while she was taking her genin exam and she, I don't know, adopted me or something. She just keeps showing up."

Gai nods thoughtfully, "Stubbornness is a useful skill to have when trying to cultivate a friendship with you." Kakashi elbows the other man, but doesn't protest besides that. "She's a good cook."

And this one because I love it when people Get It, ya’know?

That's really why he won't say anything, why he won't reveal that the Kyuubi's container and the fourth Hokage's child is still alive: they already killed him once. Naruto and Shikamaru are the same age, they would have been in the same class, and the idea that anyone could want to harm his innocent, precious son makes his blood boil 

And this one, for accuracy

"This sounds like a most youthful endeavor. I will bring Anko! She will fan the flames of youth in our young Konoha blossom!"

Both Itachi and Kakashi look at Gai, horrified. "Please don't," Itachi says weakly, like he knows it'll fall on deaf ears but he has to try anyway.

"Don't worry," Gai attempts to assure them, going into his Good Guy pose, "They will produce youthful flames of feminine excellence!"

"They're going to burn down Konoha," Kakashi says flatly.

Gai's hair and teeth sparkle in the sunlight, and he doesn't attempt to deny it.

Another important one

"The world is a terrible place," she says, and she has to swallow before she speaks again, "and it's full of terrible people. But I don't have to be one of them." 

I love that Natsu-chan has great balance, this is my number one favorite character trope, and I wish more people would write it

She bends down to look at him upside down, and Itachi can feel that she's not using chakra to stick onto him, and sometimes her balance just isn't logical. 

I just love the idea of tiny genius Naruto, and I love that Natsu-chan is a seal master at like, fucking seven and a half lol

Itachi knows it's actually far more complicated than that, but just as he does not tell her minutia of the past shinobi wars in their history lessons, she does not overcomplicate her explanations of sealing. Usually he's grateful for that, but when she appears to break every known law to sealing and chakra, he's not.

"That's," he blinks and he's not going to tell her it's impossible because it clearly isn't, "new," he settles on.

A mood honestly

Inoichi now feels the urge to bang his head against the table top, because 'a huge pain' to Natsu is 'literally impossible' to everyone else.

Another mood honestly

Inoichi watches his former genin dig in with resignation. “When are you guys going to start picking up the tab? Feeding you all isn’t cheap you know.”

Hana swallows her mouthful, “Sensei, I am but a lone healer’s apprentice –“

“I have been a chunin less than a month,” Kabuto pouts, wounded, “and already you seek to profit-“

“Do you have any idea how much sealing paper and ink costs?” Natsu demands.

“Okay, okay,” Inoichi grumbles, but it’s not very effective considering he’s smiling, “I take it back, jeez.”

Okay so, since this is a 100k+ word fic, I’ve been doing this thing lately literally just now on this fic review where I only feature quotes from the first chapter (Depending on length.) but, I’m making an exception because I’ve never seen these three characters and my thoughts on them summed up so well by someone I don’t know which is to say anyone, no one I know cares about my interests really lol

"Maybe a little," he admits grudgingly, "Sakura's really smart, but she acts dumb for some reason. And her endurance is really bad. She probably would have been failed on that alone if she didn't have such good aim with shuriken. And Sasuke's good at like, everything, I still don't get why he didn't graduate earlier. He's just so-" Kiba rubs his hand over his face.

"So what?" Hana prompts, even though she's heard this particular complaint before.

"Sad," the genin sighs, "He's miserable all the time, and he works hard and if you yell at him for long enough he'll work with you, but - crap, I don't know. He's got this really great poker face so you think he's just a big jerk, but I can smell his emotions, the big idiot, and he's just this sad lonely kid who won't listen to anyone."

Hana hums, because if she opens her mouth she'll probably start cursing the Hokage and his dumb rules and his dumb ideas, and that is not the type of thing that leads to a long life.

Just one last quote because dudes, guys, pals, friends of mine it’s important and you should all stop and read it.

 “Thanks for being cool with – everything. I’m really happy you’re not mad at me for not being honest with you.”

“You are my friend,” Gaara says warmly, “and you have always been honest about that.”

Words & Chapter(s): 136,306 words of greatness, and 6 full chapters of nicely done completion

Summary: When Naruto is five, he's gutted by a drunken civilian and presumed dead.

Six months later a girl with ash pale hair and dark blue eyes enters the Academy. 

(Guys I swear on my cool as fuck username, and all around internet personality as practically satan and probably Lucifer and whatnot that nobody we like stays dead or severely injured)

Score: 13, this is one of my favorites for a reason, this is actually my second technically third time rereading this in as many weeks

Pairing(s): Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, background Haku/Zabuza, but don’t worry anything you’re thinking of is addressed quite nicely in the fic ultra background but still there’s a lot of relationships and I’m not going to tag them all

Warning(s): Naruto technically dies more than once because this is Naruto we’re talking about but they also technically don’t??? You gotta read it, but basically temporary character death, only the bad guys stay dead in this one.

Nobody knows that Naru-chan lived so there’s that angst for you, however, to be fair it’s not like this whole story is just characters mourning and crying and whatnot, at this point it’s mostly just passing thoughts and memories which, again, to be fair, does almost feel worse at times... Huh, regardless it’s not overly angsty

Kakashi is adopted whether he likes it or not by Natsu-chan, we love both of our emotionally fucked over fair-haired ninja in this house so you won’t have to worry about that sorta fic coming outta nowhere from me BTW... but anyways, Kakashi freaks out a bit, much like the abused dog he always reminds me of, but Natsu is the sweetest and most gentle, yet forceful person he could’ve possibly caught the attention of. (This is canon)

The Akatsuki are still bad, BUT ITACHI ISN’T technically SO WHO FUCKING CARES!!!! (The Massacre still happens tho...)

Mentions of The Flower District and what that implies, and also things a Kunoichi might definitely do

Oh my fucking god the Hyuga... Who would willingly do something so horrible as that? Of all the things... Warning for... The Hyuga branch family situation, it’s dealt with nearly as soon as we are informed but, gods, my blood ran cold, and my face whited out, my sister thought someone had died when she saw my face haha,,, who the fuck does this? And do they die? In canon I mean? I think I only watched up to the chunin exams or Pein’s attack, I can’t remember which tho...

Natsu cries because people are nice to her sometimes. And honestly that’s fair, I burst into to tears once because I imagined someone kissing my forehead softly so, Natsu is completely valid... Sidenote, I’m touch-starved and have no cure for this beyond younger siblings and my cat because I don’t have the ability to ask my mom for a hug without literally gross sobbing and I have A Thing about embarrassment sooooo... yeah if anyone has some therapy justu for me that’d be nice

Mentions of Gross Men that apparently want to have Natsu’s increasingly growing collection of the absolute most dangerous people she can befriend pay them a visit. And by that, I mean an old fuckwit has the gall to leer at a TEN-YEAR-OLD and a FUCKING THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD!!!!!! Ugh, I hate those kinds of pathetic worms.

On that note, there is technically underaged things going on, but they are also Ninja soooo???? They’ve killed people and are technically in their version of an army, and by the laws of their lands they’re all adults, actually I’m pretty sure by shinobi life expectancy Kakashi is middle-aged, Inoichi is a senior citizen, and Hiruzen is a walking corpse tbh

Alcoholism??? I don’t really think it is but I’m not sure, but some characters do drink often, and usually when stressed courtesy of Natsu and co. but still... I don’t actually know if it is because it doesn’t actually happen much, more like every few weeks/months

Mentions of past sexual assault, and attempted past sexual assault, neither happen in fic or to any of our main characters, the experiences are not graphic though they do talk about it in chapter five, it’s not to graphically described.

Also, a bunch of off-screen lemon

A Thing (That I copy-pasted from the author so that all of you will see it and not say a single word against it.): If you thought Natsu was too mature for her age - she has seen and been through some really horrible shit. But also: my cousin has, since he was like 4, hung out with kids that were about 4 years older than him because those were the kids that were in his neighborhood or whatever. Point being, even after he started school, his main group of friends was consistently older than him. He very quickly adapted to that, and to this day (he's 12) hangs out with that same group, and considers children his own age 'kids' because he adapted to the behavior of the group he was surrounded with. I hardly believe Natsu would be any different.

And also

4. Quick little note because some people mentioned liking my portrayal of the Sandaime. I base his decisions/motivations (and Itachi and Danzo's to a certain extent) around this quote by Clementine von Radics: "It is so hard to live half monster, to hurt everything you love by trying to protect it wrong."

Pros: Watching Natsu just casually disregard the idea of gender with little to no thought is the greatest thing anyone will ever experience beyond, I dunno, the party we’re all gonna collectively throw when soggy Cheeto dies (I still haven’t decided which song we should make chart number one when that happens)

Given that I’ve technically read this three times you should already know the writing is fucking amazing, like, whoa, mind blown type of amazing, like, wow, so good, I usually hate rereading something I’ve read before, and especially so soon after the fact but geez Louis is this fic amazing

Natsu is just as easy to fall in love with as Naruto, and they are still the same people with slightly different personalities as is to be realistically expected with a situation like Naru’s was.

Also, GENDERFLUID REPRESENTATION DONE FUCKING AMAZINGLY IS ALWAYS A PLUS!!!!!!! 

The author manages to convey a very realistic genderfluid character in an incredibly believable manner, while also still keeping Natsu/Naruto themself. They’re still the Naruto that we knew and loved, but they’re different too, as is to be expected. when Natsu is a girl no-one stumbles, she is a girl without a doubt, even the author doesn’t trip up on societal expectations, and when Naruto is a boy there is next to immediate acceptance of this fact with absolutely zero (0) Zero bullshit from transphobes, which, as a genderfluid person myself, is always fucking nice to see. You’ll have to read it to know more though.

Natsu running around creating seals is honestly the greatest thing ever, and the end scene with the village made me cry a lil bit, and dammit this fic is so fucking good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, there’s a scene, where Natsu heals Kakashi, and the way the author handled explaining the intimate not sexual relationship between two of my favorite characters ever is just, so subtly beautiful, the sibling-bond these two have is beautiful, and a part of me wants to cry sometimes when I read it, and usually do cry a little when I get to this scene, and only partially because of what happened directly before it.

I love the way everybody just gets up and moves past their trauma and just decides to politely ignore it, oh they still have it, they still deal with it, but they care, and they are careful about it, and even though it hurts them like a knife-wound to the kidney in slow-motion they still get back up and keep fucking going. That’s hella admirable and I can respect that, I can respect even more that they slowly but surely let themselves heal as time moves on. This fic is beautiful on so many different levels but it is this one perhaps, that is the most magnificent. Perhaps.

Sasuke is adorable and depressing and adorable and I love it. And Ino is still a bad bitch but she’s a kid so we only see it like a handful of times in the first two chapters. The Akimichi/Yamanaka/Nara are all great, and I occasionally pity Inionchicause like, he’s putting up with a well-informed seal genius that’s still hyper, a slightly frightening medic-kunoichi with giant dogs, another slightly more frightening medic-nin who isn’t the greatest fighter but damn can he be intimidating and also really good at pointing out “Certain Things” while judging you about them which, honestly, is my greatest pastime. Itachi is so sweet and then so tragic oh my gods, and Natsu never even considers giving up on him. Kakashi is so sweet, and he slowly becomes less of a beaten dog as time goes on and I just love all of these characters.

Except for Hiruzen. Well, no, I still love this particular incarnation of Hiruzen, for all that he’s got one hell of a pathetically small backbone, I get why he does shit. But that doesn’t make me happy. Still, he’s better than dumbledouchebag. Granted that’s not difficult, and you might have to actively put an effort in to be as bad as that guy, but still. Plus, his hearts in the right place, and he’s less about the greater good then... certain disgraces to teaching and being in charge of a large group of people... Hiruzen is actually kinda sweet and admits he has issues and actually has an excuse that’s understandable for the shit that he pulls which is great, if sadly uncommon.

Anyways, Sakura is terrifying, and I remembered why I had a crush on her. She’s so badass, also, she ends up Princess Mononoke basically which, honestly, is fucking great, and the best thing we could’ve asked for, I love all of these characters so much!!!

Aesthetic: It reminds me off beefy stew (We don’t eat beef, so we used vegan soy beef stuff instead, and it was just as good.) it reminds me of the warmth, and friendship, and home that I felt after my mom and I make dinner together with nothing but a little music on and jokes passing back and forth between us. It reminds me of scraping my knee and having my friends help me to their mom, it reminds me of loyalty and compassion. It reminds me of dancing outside at night, alone in the forest with nothing but the moon for company and wind for music. It reminds me of the first time I realized that I could love someone despite their gender and that I should despite mine. It reminds me of finely spun handmade lace, and all it’s delicate while also reminding me of the sturdiest of steels, it reminds me of so much. It reminds me of acceptance, and understanding, and so much more. If I were to say what food and drink it reminds me of, I’d say chicken noodle soup, and sweet lavender-lemon tea.

Music Aesthetic: So, I made a playlist while I was reading this the first time around, and instead of a gif or twenty like I would usually prefer to do I’m going to add that playlist. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbhXmTSBbAyjk0m1b4BZUp3t0RHL83LDK

But if I were to add a gif or two it’d be these

Because something about this fic reminds me of rainy days with tea and baggy clothes.

Every time Natsu/Naruto decided to fight ever, to be honest.

[thetigershymn]

The Way Things Are Gonna Be From Now On (And Why I’m Back And Shit)

Part Two: The Way Things Are Gonna Be From Now On

(a repost)

Sit your asses down, kids, we gotta have a talk.

See, I can’t talk about how this shit is gonna roll without talking about why I left Tumblr to begin with.

Plot fucking twist: turns out you fucks are the maladjusted ones and I’m the mature adult. I fucking know, right? Blew my mind too.

Basically, shit started to get good for me, right? You know, you read part one. You know how that went down. Islands and shit. Anyway, part of that was like, a fuuuuuuuuuckton of high grade triple-A-plus primetime therapy. Fucking years of it. I’m a model citizen now. I’m the dependable one. No shit, someone told me that a while back, I’m the dependable one. Fucking times sure have changed.

I kid. Anyway. At a certain point in the evolution of every hot mess, there comes a knife’s edge moment. Things coalesce, and the realization is had that two choices lay before you. You can seize recovery with both hands – that phrase has deeply symbolic and vital personal meaning for me, it’s literally my name – and you can decide to GROW THE FUCK UP, stop being a giant pissbaby crying about how shit a hand life dealt you, and stand up and do something to actually fix your life instead of just complaining about how unfair your situation is. Or you can wallow in your illness for the rest of eternity, using it as an excuse, and embracing misery because it’s the only thing that makes you feel special. 

I reached that moment, through Ares. And I decided that I was NOT, in fact, addicted to being unhappy, and I DID, in fact, want to be not-unhappy, and I WAS, in fact, willing to put in the work to make that happen. And lo and behold, it started to happen. Wonders of modern medicine. Science is amazing. 

But then something else started to happen, too. Something I hadn’t planned for. I saw the toxicity leave my psychology, I saw the scar tissue across my psyche healing over and fading away, I felt Actual Human Joy Emotion, and then I looked around….and I saw everyone around me still surrounded by that black miasmic soulsucking cloud of misery that I was slowly crawling away from. I saw my enemies for what they were: meaningless dumbasses caught up in their own fucked up shit who had no real impact on my life. I saw my friends gathered around spending all their days stagnating in their own filth, blind to it as they preened about their superiority to all the lesser beings around them. I saw my loved ones still clinging to that deepseated addiction to being unhappy that I was trying so hard to dig out of my own heart. Things around me crystallized, I saw my surroundings more clearly than I had in years, and I realized I was just…..tired. So, so tired. I just didn’t care. About any of it. And I didn’t have time for it. Things were taking off for me for the first time in my entire life, and I just didn’t have time for anyone around me who was content to stand still.

So I left them behind. I left them behind in person, I left them behind over the phone, I left them behind online. Friends, significant other, family, acquaintances, whoever. Whereever I saw that happening in my life, I just…let them go.

I’ll go ahead and give you a moment to be shocked that there’s a lot of useless toxicity on tumblr. Go on, I’ll wait. 

But Solo!! You’re on Tumblr RIGHT NOW!! The misery cloud will swoop in and eat your soul again!!!!!!

Nah, bro, it won’t. We ain’t playing that game again. 

So here’s the new laws of the fucking land. These aren’t for you to follow, mind you. They’re for me to follow. You’ll notice some recurring themes.

1. None of this matters. 

Literally none of this. Tumblr is not and has never been the real world. I knew that back then, too, but I’m done being fucking quiet about this fact. All y’all? You stop existing when I walk away from the computer. Y’all bask and wallow in your complex codes of moral purity that only exist on tumblr, your shoulds and shouldn’ts, your shunnings, your manufactured obligations, whatever. I don’t care. I literally….I don’t care. Don’t like me, go away. Don’t like my blog, don’t follow it. Don’t like what I said, don’t read it. I’m not answerable to you, and I don’t care about trying to deduce the delicate nuances of your subculture’s societal mores and taboos, and if I anger your little internet godlings by crossing the wrong one, I don’t care about that either.

2. We aren’t friends.

We can be friendly, sure. I’m a friendly person, ask anyone. Well…maybe not anyone. But we can be friendly. We can be fun internet buddies, even. But…you don’t know me. I don’t know you. There’s a whole wide life out there I have that you will never see. Y’all need to be better about remembering that than y’all were last time, because I’m done feeling bad about leaving one of y’all behind if you don’t suit my life.

3. I don’t really care about co-religionists, honestly.

I could be the only hellenic polytheist on the planet for all I care. I could be the only Ares dedicant. It’s nice to compare notes and all, or chat, or whatever, and I’m more than willing to help someone out or give some advice or share some experience. I’ve been around for a while. But you, none of you, literally not a one of you is my priority, either in life or in this blog. My religion is about the gods, and one god especially. My religion is not about community. So…..yeah man, I’ll be helpful, sure, happy to be so. But I’m not obligated to do fucking ANYTHING for you I don’t want to, and I’m not answerable to what you think I should do or be or say as a hellenic polytheist or as a pagan. I’m not your fucking mentor and you’re not my fucking priest.

4. Blah, blah, blah.

Let me be really clear about this, because this is the part people are going to really, really struggle with. If it’s from before the posting of this fucking post, February 23, 2020, I don’t fucking want to hear about it. I don’t owe you shit, I’m not explaining shit, I’m not responding to shit, I’m not justifying shit, nothing. Boohoohoo I’m problematic because four years ago I called someone whose name I’ve probably (definitely) forgotten a moron and it hurt their feelings and now they piss into a jar with my name on it and call it a hex or whatever. Do tumblr witches still do the pee jar thing? I don’t remember. Whatever. I don’t care what wrong you’ve decided I committed, I don’t care even if I was actually wrong. I don’t care if something I say now contrasts with something I said three years ago so I’m a hypocrite or whatever. I don’t care whether you think people can change. I don’t care even if I haven’t changed. I’m not putting up with it if it’s from before me coming back to tumblr. I’m just going to laugh at you and hopscotch my ass away. Get over it, yo. So….I’m not going to be going through and purging old posts on my old blog, I’m not going to be ~hiding the evidence~ or whatever the fuck you want to accuse me of. I’m just not going to humor your dumb ancient bullshit. Sucks to be you, chick from four years ago who’s still holding a grudge against me because I made fun of her.

5. I’m not here to waste my time.

Those of you who know me offline know so very well how SHEER FUCKING INFAMOUS I am for walking away from conversations midthought. We’ll be talking, I’ll lose interest, and hey, that’s it, I’m done. No goodbye, no winding down the conversation, nope. We’re done, you’ve lost me. Guess what, not only am I not going to correct that behavior, we’re fucking porting that shit to Tumblr. I’m done with time wasters. I’m done with conversations I don’t want to be a part of. I’m done with arguments that serve no tangible need in my life. Don’t fucking @ me with your bullshit, or your drama, or your petty dumb shit. Because I am definitely, definitely sitting there on the other end of that conversation doing a cost-benefit analysis of what I think will be the possible positive outcome of interacting with you vs the possible negative outcome, and if you fail that assessment, I ain’t wasting my time on whatever you’re bitching at me about.

6. I actually really do hate Tumblr.

Gone are the days of lol fun tumblr meme bro and the ages of ooh cool fandom gifset my dude. I hate this fucking site on a fucking gut level and I don’t like to be here. The only reason I’m back is because I think I can use it for my ~pet project~. Which means…..yep. This is finally, finally a religion-only blog.