#i don't know what personal stuff they were drawing on
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Today in "you should really be crying more about them, actually"
"And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't"
OUR EXISTENCE
Not the last few years, not the last century or so, their EXISTENCE.
They've been in love since the beginning 🥺
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#final fifteen#they acted their faces off in this scene#i don't know what personal stuff they were drawing on#but they broke me#michael sheen#david tennant
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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I just managed to get off mha hyperfixation
And now it's happening again... Oh no
Helps with upcoming MHUI LoV event tho, it was a long time since last one happened I wonder what would happen in a new filler story part
Basically this and couple of pages of mid-final arc chapters + recent episode and next one being The Dabi episode was just too much not to get excited again
But! Important thing - I need to reread the last arc before I make anything new, if possible without finishing it to the 419 chapter and everything after, it took 2 months to really recover from the damage that chapter did
Anyway am I ready for the new event? Kinda! Do I have enough gems to get new Tomura? No! I'm not sure he'll even show up this time, because other ones were and still are really stubborn
Also Steampunk recruit took like 120 pulls in a step-up recruit and in the usual one combined
Not the best time to get LoV involved, it's cruel even
Also that one part of the page I added at the beginning was so interesting to look at and them I joked about 236 being similar. The only good thing with final arc being over is that I can say that Izuku didn't draw the parallel of seeing everyone hurt and seeing Tenko react on Mon's death
Understandable why, but it's funny to just look at them and be like, "wow Horikoshi traumatized them both"
#bnha#mhui#morning thoughts#not art#tenko shimura#shigaraki tomura#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#Still trying to assure myself that it's okay to tag whatever with whatever#If I get into drawing Izuku and Tenko interacting again this post is why#I don't prefer shipping stuff aside from here and there but some of the relationships are so interesting to look at#Izuku and Tenko one is one of my favorites and when PLF arc ended with Izuku looking behind who Tomura was on the outside was...#I can't describe it because I was SURE it was never happening and then it did and almost 3 years after that we get the actual thing#And then boom it's over#I thing knowing that AFO shows up in the 418 ruined it for me I saw people trying to predict it and stuff#But I hoped it wasn't gonna happen but I didn't know what would the other option be#So I was in 'we'll see' mindset for months and I'm okay with the end result... Kinda#It hurts really badly if I turn to my actual emotions#I was just thinking one day and while reading stuff decided to punch a pillow and suddenly it's like some wall broke and it hurt#It hurts now too actually just writing this#I thought because I wasn't processing this the way most people I saw in the fandom did with all of the hating on Horikoshi and stuff#AND hating on Izuku too!#I was either broken or a strange one even to the part of the fandom I tried to join for the first time in ages#While people were clinging to anything to keep deluding themselves that Tomura is alive#Or being openly angry on Twitter#It all was on Twitter actually because I have no power to really change what it shows if I don't just “ignore” every single person there#I tried drawing through it but I slowly hit burnout with drawing absolutely nothing#I'm a bit better now and I tried different things instead so it's alright still a bit... Too much all at once since I had irl stuff too#I'm glad that I'm not known enough to be pressured about anything since I pressure myself enough already
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Looking at the Austrian crown: 🥰😁😊😚😍
Drawing the Austrian crown: 😟☹️😥😢😰
Please someone save me, why did I do this to myself, look at this thing
#catie: has never draw a crown in her life besides sketching and chibis#also catie: instantly decides to try to draw the most complicated one#im cursing you rudolph ii why did you have to be so tasteful#i still dont know tho if this is easier or harder than the holy roman empire crown#i think the general shape of the empire one is easier but the details are harder? idk honestly#and the crown im drawing is barely in any paintings UGHHHHH#even the professional painters looked at this and were like yeah nah im just putting that in the background#i don't wanna just give up and take it out of the painting bcs i think its cool#but idk if i can draw this 😭 its so complicated#its not even entirely historically accurate for seb to be wearing it#BIT I WANT HIM TOO SIB SOB SOB BCS IRS SO PRETTY#theres paintings of past emperors wearing the emperor crown so really i should be drawing that#but the austrian one is so much prettier 😭#so basically this crown was used as a personal crown by one emperor until the empire collapsed and then it became the imperial crown#so like techinally yeah seb shouldnt be wearing it bcs its for austria not the empire#but like cmon...in this au hes the type to wear a crown casually bcs bling bling yknow#but i am constantly cursed by historical accuracy#IDK WHAT TO DRAWWWWWWW#bcs i already drew the other austrian imperial stuff so i want the crown to match but ughhhhhh#catie.rambling.txt
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last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong
#Real friends = deep friends and admittedly it's hard to have deep connections with ppl when you're like 10#and also hard to have deep connection with people when you don't understand yourself at all (bc how could you share it?)#but i was so profoundly loved.#and it's not like the bday cards and stuff aren't a part of that they're just so.. obligatory? whereas such cards from friends is. guhhh#like they missed me. maybe they still do at least a little bit. ahhhhhhh#like i was a shithead but i meant something to a lot of good people and so many of these aren't from just one person#they're a bunch of them coming together and bringing along inside jokes i only half remember and drawing my fucking ocs like GUYS.#GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS. i may not remember all of you but you were like. goddd i think you made this bearable#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many#speaking of which i also found THREE count em THREE decks of cards i know for a fact i have never used bc i have a favorite deck and it's#not those. what off the wall madness was i planning where i needed three non-matching decks of cards within sleep-reach at all times#anyway im reorganizing bc like 10% of that drawer was stuff i actually needed regularly (literally Just the knives) and it's a nightstand#so it should be like. stuff i frequently need like pens and junk. idk#like it's not as if i don't think about how my moving away hurt ppl like i've been abandoning ppl against my will my whole life#but i guess ive been thinking of it as some kind of responsibility or guilt thing? or painful in a me-centric way. they sent me off#with well wishes though they poured their hearts into these. they drew and printed photos and made little crafts bc they loved me#and that's what you do when someone you love has to go away. waughhhhgghhghbn
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🫥
#random personal stuff#whining ahead feel free to ignore#after a little over two weeks with my family I guess it was hard today to go back to church here and#be reminded how easy it is to feel utterly disconnected for some reason#I have a small amount of friends whom I do very much appreciate#but otherwise it's like going through life in a glass case#which is probably my fault somehow#anyway I miss going to a smaller church (it got assimilated into this huge one)#and I miss smaller more intimate Bible study groups#there are more people around now whom it's not easy to be real or vocal in front of#(including the lady who once asked if I were one of the then-pregnant women and can't remember my name etc.)#and that's not their fault and they have every right to be there#it's just a different dynamic and unfortunately it's one that I haven't figured out how to be comfortable in yet#feeling like you belong with particular people is just really hard you know?#it has to be earned and proven and mulled over sometimes for years#before it's ever even believable#I got assigned a while back to consider why the whole disconnect thing#still drawing a blank#probably supposed to have an epiphany about what I'm doing wrong#if so can it be shipped a little faster because I don't have time for this nonsense
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The League days are over in my read through :( JLA run ended and Extreme got cut off really randomly. Idk what's up with them. Sadly my beloved League is no more. I must detour into BOP now, chronologically. But I'm kinda beefing with Batman right now, I see too much of him and I don't want to read stuff with him. I kinda get this way with overexposed characters. Hopefully he won't appear there much, but I think he might. We'll see.
I'm actually really excited to meet Babs and her girls! Is she the leader? Idk, but I think she's very important. Also gotta see for myself what that Babs x Dinah talk is about 🧐 Time to branch out into more yuri.
Also also, it's time for me to read some Ted solos I think. I've only ever read Booster's one, still haven't finished that one actually. Idk, the more comic I read the more I want to read next. It's never ending. Probably gonna get tired of it soon. Maybe I'll rewatch Peacemaker and daydream about the Booster show that's apparently coming soon. That's one more reason to stay alive, huh? I'd sure love to see that one! It's totally happening, right? Idk, even if not, it's fun to pretend like it is so I have something to look up for.
Usually my hiperfixations switch up every few weeks and Ngl, I kinda feel like the DC/Boostle/JLI one is leaving me. Well, I'll always carry it in my heart and also will be coming back to it sporadically. I hardly abandon my special stuff forever. We'll see how it goes. For now I'm super tired from work & life, I need to get a day off (or two) and then maybe my mood will change. Maybe the Boostle is here to stay.
#i wanted this one to be about my reading list but it came out more like personal tag so#jerry bugging on#it is. I've done a lot of bugging here huh? way more than i thought. but i guess it is a blogging website#sorry to my followers for putting this on your dash. i still have more drawings to post don't worry!#i miss jli already. they were very fun and real and genuine. they had really great moments. and really funny moments#well i can always read it again but i must go on further#I'm not even in the current continuity! i don't know shit yet. gotta read more so i can learn more and draw.#i mean i know a lot of what happens. but i have to read a lot of stuff for myself. it is hard. should've started reading in highschool#but then i wouldn't have read one piece and that was very cool also.
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we have an especially bad migraine where I noticed us getting aura (mostly being pissed off and upset in a specific way) for several hours before it started and we've taken pain meds but I'm not sure they've actually helped. they have definitely given us side effects though and I feel very spaced out and nauseous and generally shit.
we've also had way worse ADHD symptoms for the last few days to the point of being pretty much unable to focus on anything besides like 2 things we've hyperfixated on. we've had so much trouble starting tasks and keep struggling to hold a train of thought or focus long enough to even figure out what we need to do each day despite having all our Habitica dailies to tell us.
our brain is all over the place and I'm not really sure what to do with it or what would help but it's just occurred to me that sometimes our ADHD gets really bad in the buildup to some of our worst migraines and now I'm just hoping that both the migraine and other shit ease off soon because I'd like to be able to function
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#I've spent like 6 hours drawing today because we fixated on one piece of art that I originally started as a joke#but I probably had other tasks to do and I don't know what any of them were and I tried very hard to at least make a list or something#but just could not hold a coherent train of thought and got really overwhelmed every time I tried to think of stuff I needed to do#so I gave up after a while because I realised my options were to keep trying and failing and just get upset and start dissociating#and end up doing absolutely nothing while feeling really bad#or just go ahead and draw for as long as I can handle because our brain's fixated on it and at least I'd be doing something#and it's also nice to actually be able to work on art for any length of time after having such bad art block so far this year#oh I did also shower shortly after we woke up which was our main big task of the day I think so that's something to be proud of#our tourette's has been bad and that made it surprisingly difficult and it was kind of stressful and exhausting but we did it#it's also just occurred to me that our tourette's and ADHD and a few other issues have all flared up together#followed by a particularly bad migraine which is a pattern we keep noticing and first noticed back in December#and all these issues are known to involve dopamine but I can't figure out what exactly is going on#when it happens we also start getting sensory overload way more easily
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because im covering for this class for an indeterminate amount of time, i have planning time, and today that meant a Different crt was in the room while i was meant to be doing my thing and i TOTALLY get the stress of regular teachers letting a crt take control of their class now
#first off i chose the simplest thing bc obviously i want to be in class where possible for the 'important' stuff like maths#so leaving the shitty stuff that i can barely care about teaching for the other teacher was like. i don't care what happens. this is fine.#and then there was the stress of how they'd behave (which was badly) including the most difficult kid having to leave the room#its not the other teacher's fault like i just happen to know how to manage this class from experience now and they were shitty today anyway#but fuck meeeeee. i was SO stressed sitting in that office on her behalf as the person who has been in that situation#it was also kinda frustrating?? like that urge to backseat drive bc i knew what i'd do but i just had to let her do her thing to an extent#anyway i think i need to draw up a new seating chart tonight bc i don't know how much longer their current arrangement will work 🫠#my post tag
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#anon oh believe me I KNOW#everyone is annoying😂#there is no such thing as purity and perfection#we all just gotta draw our own lines (or not) and do what feels right. .. was just talking about this with someone in message like#we all have different things that are over the line for us so yeah. I shouldn't say what other people should do#just say why I choose to do or not do what I choose#I personally have seen so much gross stuff said about people by rads over the years that that's a line for me#other people have other things that are too far for them#and with so many new people around everything is a jumbled mess anyway I see people reblogged on my dash#that a few years ago no one would have touched with a ten foot pole cause folks don't know about the shit they used to say#and I'm sure I reblog from new people who are equally horrendous but I just don't know#plus we haven't had a real big inter-larrie blow up in ages where you find out who out of all the people you thought were fine#actually have the worst fucking opinion you've ever heard about something OTHER than L+H#it's all ridiculous😂
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I’m rewatching the GO2 trailer, this time focussing on the parts in the middle that I haven’t seen as much speculation about:
- Statue of an angelic figure, surrounded by gravestones, with some large... stadium lights? TV screens? big rectangles mounted on poles in the foreground. Two figures stand in front of it, the taller dressed in white, the shorter either in dark clothes or in shadow. Gabriel and Beelzebub? The shorter figure has something on their head like a frilly hat. Could conceivably be B’s fly hat, but I’m leaning not. Or, it could be Crowley and Muriel during their infiltration of Heaven, and the colouring is ironic? The whole set-up looks weird and artificial. I am leaning towards it being a space in Heaven. Edit! I forgot about Shax. That could be her hat, but in that case I’m not sure who the figure in white is. Edit 2: what the hell, I’m going to guess it’s Shax and Michael.
- A spotlight shines on the statue, and we see in close-up that it’s Gabriel! He is hugging a cross while gazing out. He has Raphaelite curls (not to be confused with the archangel Raphael. may they never show up in Good Omens).
- shot of real!Gabriel’s eyes glowing violet. He has grown in some stubble while at Aziraphale’s shop. He also appears to have borrowed some of Aziraphale’s clothes. Aw. Also, in an earlier shot he is looking out of an upstairs window, wearing Aziraphale’s(?) tartan dressing gown and some blue pyjamas, suggesting that the bookshop has a bedroom and Aziraphale is letting him use it. omg he’s so considerate and, I assume, so deeply confused this whole time. Also, does Gabriel need to sleep while he has amnesia? It seems as if he’s been turned human.
- Bunch of demons assembled in the bookshop. They look menacing. Aziraphale is repelling them(?) with a glowing portal on the floor.
- Weird clouds, lightning overhead (or something glowing above, anyway). Nina and Maggie looking fetching under the stormy sky.
- Muriel lying on the floor in Heaven to look at a matchbox that says “Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out.” Job 41:19. Getting The Beast Below vibes.
- Another shot of the Gabriel statue, this time unlit. It looks sterner. I double checked, and I don’t think its expression has changed, it’s just the lighting.
- Aziraphale in Victorian dress, looking at the sky, then Crowley(?) screaming and flinging himself towards him. Aziraphale also seems to be at the edge of a graveyard - I think that’s a tombstone in the bottom left of the screen.
- Magician!Aziraphale (in a very snazzy blue coat, I love it), and a crowd of people behind him - an older woman in black, and several dancing girls with huge red feathers on their heads. Is this also a flashback? Could be back when he first learned stage magic!
- Crowley speeding - tartan hills - Beelzebub sitting on their horrid little chair/throne surrounded by manky piles of old newspapers. I’m inclined to say the papers are just old junk Hell keeps around, but who knows, maybe they’re needed to solve the mystery. The tartan hills are super weird. It’s possible it’s just a jokey visual to let us know Crowley is in Scotland. If it’s not, then why is the landscape stealing fashion tips from Aziraphale?? If we’re getting a second go at the Apocalypse, is it somehow being caused by Aziraphale and/or Crowley, to the extent that it’s stealing things from their heads, like with Adam in S1?
- B’s teeth - Shax grinning - demons smashing the bookshop windows. When their ‘SURREND THE ANGLE’ projectile lands on the carpet, there is a woman’s foot in a high heel visible next to it. A customer? A fancy one? (It’s a nice shoe)
Errr, I don’t have conclusions about any of this, but it felt helpful to document it XD
I really love that so much seems to be happening. My only real concern about extending the story in future seasons of TV was that the story might end up being rather thin. But it seems like there’s tons of it! And that’s just based on trailer snippets that were selected for being not-that-spoilery! And we haven’t even got to the sequel that Terry and Neil planned!! It’s so much and I’m so happy.
#good omens 2#good omens 2 spoilers#I am a plot person at heart#I feel like that's not fashionable but I love when characters are in situations and the situations just pile up#I wish I were smarter and could draw more conclusions from this but I can't it's too mysterious#oh also I love the concept that this mystery extends back into the past and will need to be solved with flashbacks#I saw some comments that the stakes seem to be lower this season#entirely based on the Gabriel stuff seeming comedic#and I was like. buddy! we don't even know what the stakes are yet!! and I'm already full to bursting with implistaketions!
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Major respect and gratitude to all these wonderful artists and logical people!! I'm an amateur artist myself who has never seen the appeal in AI art at all, or just AI in general, but I never really thought too much on how the situation affects people with disabilities. This thread though shows me and other regular people how free and creative art is. And how "Art" as a concept really doesn't have any limitations! You don't need a robot to do something that only a human can truly understand, and you shouldn't have to!
Thanks for sharing all your POV's on this situation and I'm glad we still have some sensible people in such a shitty world. <3
Plus, AI just sucks overall.
"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity
#Storytime in the tags lets gooooo#So! I actually never used to have much of a hatred towards AI art#especially when it was first starting out back in late 2020.#I was actually fascinated at the prospect of someone just being able to plug in a few prompts and then having a masterpiece in like.#2 seconds.#I still find amusement in taking a quick peak at free art bots from time to time. But that's all just for shits and giggles.#I don't really consider that “Supporting AI.” I just find it fun#Anywhizzle. All of this changed for me back in I think 2021 or 2022. I can't remember which year :p#I was watching a video discussing the discourse behind AI art and how much it was growing. Back then I was starting to see the flaws in AI#and how destructive a robot with sentience can be. It's like taking that one joke about workers being replaced by robots and making it real#So when I watched this video and they started talking about this odd anime movie I'd never heard about and how all the backgrounds were-#-done in AI. I was pretty pissed. Never before had I heard of anything like this. A whole fucking movie. With beautiful backgrounds that-#-shouldn't even be possible to draw. Was done in AI.#I looked back at all the real art I'd seen over the past like 3 years that I'd been on the internet. I have seen livestreams where artists-#-that I looked up to (And still kinda do) spent 2 whole hours on backgrounds for just one single comic page!#I read Evan Stanley's fan comic and knew that all those beautiful and geometrically accurate backgrounds were drawn by hand!#I HAD GONE THROUGH THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF GROWING MY ART STYLE FROM SCRATCH OVER THE COURSE OF TWO WHOLE YEARS.#I LOOKED AT ALL THESE ARTISTS THAT I LOOKED UP TO AND SAW THEIR BACKGROUNDS AND THEN LOOKED AT MINE AND-#-I THEN REALIZED HOW FUCKING DEDICATED THEY ALL WERE TO PULL OFF SUCH MASTERPIECES.#I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO JUST DRAW A TREE. OR A ROCK. OR A HILL THAT ONLY GETS 1/4 OF IT SHOWN IN THE FINAL PRODUCT.#And then I looked at the AI art in the background of the video... And I was PISSED.#But I didn't realize the full extent of my anger until the narrator in the video discussed what the credits for the movie said:#“AI - Human”#They... They didn't even give credit to the person who operated the fucking robot.#This STUPID LITTLE KID'S MOVIE DID NOT EVEN GIVE CREDIT TO THE GUY WHO GENERATED THE BACKGROUNDS IN THE FIRST PLACE#THEY JUST USED THE WORD “Human” INSTEAD OF GIVING EVEN AN OUNCE OF CREDIT TO THE VERY REAL HUMAN BEING THAT TOOK-#-TIME OUT OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL DAY TO GENERATE THEIR STUPID FUCKING BACKGROUNDS.#So yeah that's how I learned how to hate AI art your welcome and thank you.#I'm not sorry for all those tags#blog/ask stuff
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I want a giant brown bunny... but... but too much!
The only one I found was like $158 USD... it was just about 5 foot tall! It literally was like looking at what I wanted to make but realized I didn't have enough stuffing for!
And one that was like 3 feet tall was $100...
Like yes I know materials and time is money but I can still complain! Why fabric gotta be so much! And so messy! (The ones with faux fur or of the like. Like whyyyyyy!!!!) Also why is cotton and stuffing so much too! And you get enough for maybe only one 2 foot plushie!
(I ran out of tagging space... 30 the limit sadly. But I had more to say but maybe later I'll do a bigger post on that all.)
#I'm complaining.#because why does fun things gotta be so much!!!!!#Honestly though if a person who makes plushies by hand ever wanted to hire someone to just cut and draw the design onto fabric I would do it#or even for clothing. I like cutting things. and I can do it fast.#hence me having like three hand made plushies in a bag#two that are just hanging out#and a pair of pants.#all from 1 full school year worth of time. though in two different school years. and I also wasn't in the one technically but I had no other#class to be at as there was no room elsewhere and I took a bus so I literally could not just skip the bus either and it was the first class.#so I was lucky enough the teacher liked me and knew I was a good student. so actually minus like a week or two as I did sit outside for tw#twoish weeks before my friend practically forced me into their class without being in it on the records.#yeah I enjoyed it as I was allowed to chill... actually minus like 2 additional weeks from both half years. and maybe another 1 week and#that's about how much sewing I did and got all that done. though if you count back in 2020 I did sew a plushie monkey and a face mask...#then before 2020 I did sew like two small pillows. did a slight bit of embroidery... and then when I was like 8 to maybe 10 I sewed a bird#in sometime withing 8-10 and I may have done other sewing too...#damn. I did a lot of sewing compared to what people probably realize. like I sewed by hand and machine yet only embroidered by hand so far.#I'm not really allowed to use the sewing machines at my house sadly. so I only got to use it at school which honestly wasn't for too much#time as I mostly hand sewed everything with some exceptions...#wait I completely forgot I did all those sewing examples! and I had made a skirt... maybe two? and I had to help others with their stuff too#I already knew roughly how to use a sewing machine and well like two of the other students near me needed a lot of help I tried my best#however I did get frustrated but... I feel sorry for the one person as I wasn't really frustrated at them. I was just stressed and...#I tgink they still passed the class... actually that wasn't the only student I helped. qoth my friend's class I helped him and a few of the#nearby students. mainly because the teacher told them they could try coming to me for anything. also because my friend and I knew#I could help them too. however the one thing that was hard for me to sew was sometimes how to fix the issues they had... then again one had#a broken needle and that thing is hard to see unless you know what to look for because it's so tiny. so I did as best as I could.#sometimes they just needed helped threading honestly and well that's why I got frustrated with the one a few times but honestly I was just#worried about not finishing my own project... then when people used my machine... oh how much that urk me. we were assigned machines btw.#I wasn't too angry but I liked that seat and my box of my stuff was there and I don't really know much Spanish and the person sitting there#was spanish speaking so it was hard to communicate... didn't help that I was having a few if my mental troubles and on top of that an issue#with talking to people in general on my own... no I dunno the full reason why so I'm not making judgement calls.
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#random#personal#vent#will prob delete this later#drawing this out because i don't know how else to deal with it#uh#went to a lot of events this month#and i brought some of my crocheting things#because if i'm not volunteering i might as well have something to do while listening to speeches#usually i bring books but my fam prefers i don't do that#but anyways we were getting ready to leave one a few days back and#a bunch of random people came up to me and started asking what i was making and how long it took and stuff#and they were going all wow mashallah you ave such talent shaturah and all that#which i thought was a bit odd but i assumed they were just curious#but when we left my fam told me they had been looking at me funny throughout the whole event#and uh#yeah#i'm pretty good at parsing out social meanings and things i think but#sometimes it feels like people are saying something over my head#and i can figure out when they are#but i can't figure out what it means#this typically happens at school cuz some of my peers don't like me very much but#i don't know if this is accurate or if i'm just paranoid?#i don't know it's a bit of a mess#doesn't help that my fam preaches about hasad all the time#it's probably no big deal#but i did end up finishing the goose and it turned out pretty good if i do say so myself#anyhow#we’re posting this cuz I can’t access my computer and it’s saved in my drafts so uh
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i am getting started on productivity for the night but haven't figured out yet if i want to write or art first and there's also the tiny part of my brain that just wants to stare at kabru until it is ok to stop staring at kabru
#i don't talk about fandom stuff much here since i don't really get involved with it#but i do fixate on characters and right now i am circling around him like a wolf#tempted to draw him too but i can never capture his big beautiful eyes properly#i've also been tempted to draw beefcake laios but UHHhh thats for another day and i dont know if i will share that LOL#i finished the manga but i haven't had the energy to watch more of the show so i'm just thinking about the characters on my own and going :#also contemplating if i should draw a pride pfp (unrelated)#basically there is so much to do and it is overwhelming to work through the list#and i keep wanting to add more to it#also need to promo my commissions again more and add those sketches still but trying to figure out how to price them and don't have the#energy to type up explanations for them yet blagh#and i'm trying to balance that “realistically- i need more income coming in” with also “but i can't overwhelm myself with tasks”#<- which is very unambiguously clear that i do that just fine even without working on things for other people#is it obvious that my therapist relocated and i haven't been given a new one yet.#i can therapize myself So Good (actually overthinking and spiraling)#<- but please do not worry this is actually not a bad spiral which is good it is just a “things to do” spiral but it is fortunately#missing the key component of doom and horror and the world ending because i did not accomplish everything right#which is what a bad spiral contains and i've actually been on a pretty good streak avoiding those lately in spite of circumstances!#but if i linger on it it will probably turn into a lie so i will stop doing that#speaking of shows i watched the new episode of kaiju no. 8 today and i am just aggghrrhekrjskfj#i love hoshina so much#and he's been getting a lot of focus in these episodes so im happy#i love the way they animate his fights like!! wow#i need to watch them all on sakugabooru later#but i can't tonight if i want to do things#but i will later because they deserve frame-by-frameing#also i'm going to go pick up two volumes of wind breaker tomorrow i think#unfortunately i ordered them before i learned my hours were getting cut but#i have enough to cover my bills this month and since i'm not buying lunches or dinner for myself anymore because i'm not leaving the house#i'd rather just get them now instead of worrying about someone else buying them if i take too long#and let that be my last personal purchase for awhile
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hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT
Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.
When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.
I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.
Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.
For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.
Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.
The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!
It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.
I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).
Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)
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