#so I gave up after a while because I realised my options were to keep trying and failing and just get upset and start dissociating
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thethingything · 8 months ago
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we have an especially bad migraine where I noticed us getting aura (mostly being pissed off and upset in a specific way) for several hours before it started and we've taken pain meds but I'm not sure they've actually helped. they have definitely given us side effects though and I feel very spaced out and nauseous and generally shit.
we've also had way worse ADHD symptoms for the last few days to the point of being pretty much unable to focus on anything besides like 2 things we've hyperfixated on. we've had so much trouble starting tasks and keep struggling to hold a train of thought or focus long enough to even figure out what we need to do each day despite having all our Habitica dailies to tell us.
our brain is all over the place and I'm not really sure what to do with it or what would help but it's just occurred to me that sometimes our ADHD gets really bad in the buildup to some of our worst migraines and now I'm just hoping that both the migraine and other shit ease off soon because I'd like to be able to function
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#I've spent like 6 hours drawing today because we fixated on one piece of art that I originally started as a joke#but I probably had other tasks to do and I don't know what any of them were and I tried very hard to at least make a list or something#but just could not hold a coherent train of thought and got really overwhelmed every time I tried to think of stuff I needed to do#so I gave up after a while because I realised my options were to keep trying and failing and just get upset and start dissociating#and end up doing absolutely nothing while feeling really bad#or just go ahead and draw for as long as I can handle because our brain's fixated on it and at least I'd be doing something#and it's also nice to actually be able to work on art for any length of time after having such bad art block so far this year#oh I did also shower shortly after we woke up which was our main big task of the day I think so that's something to be proud of#our tourette's has been bad and that made it surprisingly difficult and it was kind of stressful and exhausting but we did it#it's also just occurred to me that our tourette's and ADHD and a few other issues have all flared up together#followed by a particularly bad migraine which is a pattern we keep noticing and first noticed back in December#and all these issues are known to involve dopamine but I can't figure out what exactly is going on#when it happens we also start getting sensory overload way more easily
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dream-with-a-fever · 2 months ago
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but i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (snippet)
by dream-with-a-fever (me) / societysgot (ao3)
harry/ginny, oneshot, canon compliant, missing moments during OotP
“So, I take it that cave in the mountains outside Hogsmeade wouldn’t work as a meeting place with Sirius?” She said, bringing them back to their conversation in the library.
Harry shook his head. “Definitely not — how did you know about that?”
“I’m really into mountain hiking,” She replied, without missing a beat.
Harry gave her a quizzical look before her face broke out into a smile, and she laughed.
“I’m joking - I've never done it,” She said, with a snort, “Hermione mentioned doing it with her family once — no, Sirius told me about it over the summer, back at Grimmauld place.”
“You and Sirius talked?”
For some reason he hadn’t even considered the fact that the Weasleys had been staying there for several weeks before Harry’s arrival. Jealousy bubbled in him momentarily, at the thought of them all spending their summer together, while he was stuck in privet drive. They had probably shared meals, swapped stories, made jokes. He vaguely remembered the youngest Weasley holding court up one end of the table on a particular evening, chatting animatedly with Remus, Tonks and Sirius. She had almost seemed like one of the crew. He just hadn't given it much thought until now.
She gave him a quizzical look, and he realised he must’ve been silent for a beat too long.
“Yeah, is that… alright with you?”
He forced out a laugh. “Yeah- erm, of course. I just didn’t think — I don’t know.”
“Well, he’s cool. Got a great muggle music collection. You’d probably know some of ‘em? There’s one band — super good called The Beatle and—”
“The Beatles.”
“What?”
Harry suppressed a smile. “Never mind.”
“They're really good. But, he mainly talks about you, you know,” She said, after a beat, “Raves about you actually.”
Harry sighed, like this was a real inconvenience.
"Oh, I am sorry," said Harry, fighting back a grin.
"I told him, I said Sirius, I haven't got all day - but the man's relentless. Wanted to know everything."
“That must’ve been terribly boring.”
“Very," She hummed, noncommittally. "You know, Harry Potter — famously boring.”
“Glad you agree.”
“Well, we can’t have everyone inflating your ego now, can we?”
Harry spluttered for a moment, before she continued.
“Not that a bit more arrogance on your part would be bad. You could be a lot worse. Look at Percy.”
“Thanks, Ginny.”
“Very welcome,” She said, breezily before clapping her hands together, “Anyway — if the cave isn’t an option, and all the fires are being guarded…”
“Well…not all of them,” Harry said, a look of realisation crossing his face.
When he looked up she was grinning widely at him, eyebrows raised. It was then that he looked around, and realised they were outside the Gryffindor common room — the trek from the library was like muscle memory to him now, and still their arrival had come as a shock to him.
The fat lady was chatting animatedly with her friend Violet from another portrait when they approached; both shrieking with laughter like a couple of hyenas, passing a bottle back and forth of some kind of mead that most certainly was not from the fat lady’s portrait. They were completely obvious to the two students stood outside.
“I’m sorry for interrupting your study session,” Ginny suddenly said, scrunching up her nose, looking rather guilty, “I know you need all the time you can get, you know, with the OWLs coming up so soon.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Have a lot of faith in my academic ability then, do you?”
She choked out a laugh, whipping her auburn hair out of her eyes. “Not what I meant and you know it. Though if you hanging around Ron every minute of every day is any indication of your intelligence…”
“Pretty sure you spend more time with him than me,” Harry replied, looking aghast.
“Yeah — because he’s my brother - I'm stuck with him, aren't I? But you voluntarily spend every waking moment with him. I mean, think of all the brain cells you must have lost already…”
“See, that’s—”
“But there’s still time to save yourself from ruin, I reckon. Just gotta get back to the books.”
“Well, that’ll be hard, seeing as you got me banned from going back into the library ever again…”
She elbowed him hard in the side, and Harry looked up, surprised at the contact. But Ginny seemed unfazed - like this was nothing out of the ordinary.
“I think I’ll take that chocolate egg back then,” She demanded, flicking a curtain of red hair behind her.
Harry scoffed. “Pretty sure you already ate most of it—”
And that earned him his second jab in the ribs. He glanced down at his feet, suppressing a grin.
Their slight cofuffle had caught the attention of the fat lady who now, having finally noticed their presence, began to complain at their frankly insulting dawdling (‘I don’t have all day, you two!’)
They parted ways in the common room; Crookshanks trotting over to the youngest Weasley the second she had stepped through the door; Harry making his way up to the boys’ dormitories.
He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
(Unbeknownst to Harry, it was the best sleep he had had in weeks.)
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vitanithepure · 1 year ago
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Can we talk about Gale again? And Mystra, one last time? Or at least let me vent? I know it seems like I can't shut up about it, but deal with me this one last time?
It's a long one, an fervent one, and possibly the last one on their relationship because there isn't much to tell for me after this. I just want to lay it to rest on my part, it's too emotionally draining, but I wanted to do this.
Spoilers for them ahead.
It was some time ago I did the talk with Mystra and Gale as an origin character and I needed some time to process this and gather my thoughts. Because I was left reeling with how personal it felt for me and I hated seeing that to bo honest, even though I think whoever did write this scene did it... very well. I feel a lot of thought went into it, so even though it does touch a delicate subject it does it as tastefully as possible.
Okay, let's begin with a real banger.
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Why? This will forever read as "I gave you a solution, explain yourself why you didn't die when I asked you to." for me. What kind of messed up question is that to ask someone?
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But can I say how there is absolutely no wrong anwser to that asinine question? You can roleplay however you wish, but none of them are bad anwsers. Some of them are more heartbreaking then the others, but none are in any way making excuses. There is nothing to excuse and I'm glad whoever wrote this dialogue recognized this.
I chose the "I have someone else to live for" one here, because I felt that Gale, at this point, really found that special someone, be it a friend or lover, to live for. It's gut-wrenching that he needed someone to keep him alive in the first place, but this is what having an abusive ex does to you.
But the other choices here? All of them fair. She absolutely had no right to ask that of him, no matter the crime, that's just a fucked up thing to expect.
Being afraid to die? Valid, this shouldn't be put up to question.
Two last ones? Pure gold. I treat the fourth one as a direct jab at her own teachings, on how all magic needs to be preserved and studied? It's like him saying "Hey, I did what you expected and now your mad?".
The very last one is poetic justice. "I owe you nothing." and if that were me this would be the absolute end of this discussion. Mic drop, I'm out of here.
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And okay, I did take he self-pity route with "I let you down." here becuase this is what I believe is closest to how "canon" Gale feels about this. That's the most heartbreaking thing about it, that he believes he was not worth enough before and is even less now and doesn't deserve love, of any kind.
What are the other options? Well, all in character and each seems like a valid way for Gale to feel. But me, the player, who is fortunate to know some meta knowledge? Oh boy.
"I was a danger to you." No you weren't. She is the goddess of magic, one of the most powerful out here. She is magic. All you could do is make her day worse.
"I disobeyed you." Yeah, you did. And she sentenced you to a slow death for it.
"You were threatened." Eh, not really. But what comes after that statement? "You realised you couldn't control me."? Yes, that is the only thing she felt threatened about - loosing control.
"Our relationship bored you. The orb was just an excuse to end it." I mean... maybe? Not enough is known about it but seeing how all reincarnations of Mystra are fickle lovers at best I would say it's a possibility. Even if it is just his ego speaking here - damn, what a way to end a relationship.
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She has the audacity to tell him "he only thought of himself". Pot calling the kettle much?
Oooh, but I love what we can say here. The amout of vicious call outs here is superb.
We get to call out how much of a control freak she is. Then we can say how out of place was her punishment. Because I feel like it was a fucking equivalent of throwing a child into a dark cellar for breaking your favorite cup, while all they wanted to do was wash it for you. That is how imbalanced this whole thing is and I'm not taking criticism on that.
We also get to straight up ask what was the lesson if she never let him know what he really did and left him without means to make things right?
Then my favorite. Straight up ask her how many lives was she willing to sacrifice to get rid of the problem?
And last but not least - call her out on her lies. That's what she did. Why? I don't know. Was she afraid? Possibly, because the Karsite Weave + Crown of Karsus combo could potentially threaten her. Potentially, because as we saw in one of the Gale endings, she has no problem with just getting rid of a newly ascended god wielding them. That leads me to believe she is not afraid of loosing power as much as just being rivaled with. The indignity she has to suffer, truly.
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Hit a nail on the head here. Who cares about mortals, if they live or die and in how many droves? Competition comes knocking, so all gloves are off. And that is what I believe to be the crux of the matter. Mystra wants to remove the Absolute (because that's the new upstart god breaking the status quo), the orb containing he rival Weave, the Crown which threatens her rule over magic all in one swoop. Oh, and that one guy who tries too hard and refuses to die. No biggie. Who cares, she has a line of followers who would replace her Chosen at any given time.
I'm a salty bitch over the fact we can't keep the Crown of Karsus, but instead of using it - just hide it away again. Stablize Gale's Karsite Weave and keep that thing around, hidden away. Let her sweat over the idea someone else might find it one day and rival her rule.
I know I'm way too emotional about it, but like I said, it's very personal - I been there, done that, and never recovered in full after it. I'll die defending anyone and any pixels who are struggling with their self-worth and trying to get over an emotionally abusive relationships.
"Be the better person, die saving the world and I'll 'forgive' you." Fuck. You.
And a bonus, for those of you who stuck around till the end, because I was totally naming the screens and yelling at my monitor while doing this.
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storiesofoblivion · 2 months ago
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hello tags! It's been a little while since I've been on here, but I'm ready to dive back into the writing scene and looking for some new writing partners on Discord! ♡ please only interact with me if you are 21 + only, also just a small fyi my activity can be a bit unpredictable depending on life stuff, but I’m always around to chat, plot, and create if I’m not writing!!! 
I’d love to brainstorm some MUMUs (small town, big big city, holiday resort, band, reality tv show, open for the options), but also happy to keep it small with a singular plot! i just want to get into musings, making some fun pinterest boards, playlists etc! i want all the angst, fluff, pain and smut. 
a few plots and tropes which I am begging for and some fcs are below, but i'm open to anything and everything!!! if you're interested, give this a like and i'll reach out or message me! ♡
yearning plot, I just watched the Industry and it gave me the need for a pair who love each other, they completely yearn for each other but they can't be together. if you want your heart to break, listen to the last goodbye by the kills. I have quite a few different thoughts for this, they meet when they're young and they yearn for each other, but life gets in the way and ultimately they don't end up together, they love each other but one of them choses the path which is right for them. We can have them go through the break up and then meet again years across the line where it’s a mix of vulnerability and guardedness as both muses confront their past, knowing that the connection they once had slipped through their fingers. There could be moments of warmth and nostalgia mixed with painful realisations about how much has changed. I just need the angst!!!!
the affair, they’re both trapped in unhappy relationships, finding solace in each other’s arms. But as the passion between them grows, so does the guilt and the looming sense that their affair will only lead to heartbreak—for everyone involved.
trapped in a marriage of convenience, they were never supposed to fall in love. Bound by a loveless marriage for political or financial reasons, one of them has secretly harboured feelings all along. Now, as tension rises and secrets unravel, those buried emotions threaten to tear them both apart.
divorced couple, they are always in each others lives, their is fighting, they can't escape, let's add kids to the mix for the coparenting 
the one who got away, this is slightly different to yearning because this couple aren't the same vibe it's a different font okay. They were madly in love in their early 20s, but life and ambition pulled them in different directions. Years later, they reconnect—both scarred from past relationships. There’s undeniable chemistry, but the fear of repeating history keeps them at a distance. Can they let go of their past mistakes and take a risk on love again, or are they doomed to drift apart once more?
the cost of fame, he’s an up-and-coming actor/musician etc, skyrocketing to fame, while she’s still living an ordinary life. They were high school sweethearts, but as his career takes off, the pressure of his public image and constant media attention start to tear their relationship apart. Will their love survive the world of flashing cameras and false rumours, or will fame turn him into someone she no longer recognises??? where will the angst take us??
fighter plot, after re-watching the creed I need a boxer plot so maybe something like in creed where is fighting his way to the top, but his girl can’t handle the fear of losing him to the sport etc 
a coffee shop meet-cute, or any meet-cute where it can be something like she's the regular at his coffee shop, always rushing in with a complicated order and a smile that lights up the place. He’s the barista who secretly gives her an extra shot of espresso to brighten her day. After months of shy glances and friendly small talk, a chance encounter outside of the café leads to a series of adorable, awkward dates full of laughs, misunderstandings, and the beginning of something real.
a classic holiday fake dating, one of them desperately needs a date for the family’s holiday reunion to avoid endless questions about their love life, so they convinces their co-worker (or best friend) to pretend to be their partner for the week. Cue romantic holiday moments, cute banter, and the unexpected realisation that maybe they’re not just pretending after all.
I just need anything that is enemies to lovers, anything that is friends to lovers, anything that is forbidden lovers, anything that is exes to lovers to exes again, give me the slowburn, just any of these tropes on repeat
i also do have a wanted plots tag which is here - this has not been updated in a while but i will always want these plots! 
some fcs i’ve been wanting to play or have has opposites are below, i'm not limited to them and open to any other options too!!! 
drew starkey
oliver jackson cohen 
paul mescal
harris dickinson 
milo ventimiglia
tom hardy
fabien frankel 
theo james
callum turner
dev patel 
josh o'connor
alexander skarsgard
boyd holbrook 
grace van patten
hannah dodd
phoebe dynevor
adria arjona
bruna marquezine 
aslihan malbora 
alisha boe
pinar deniz
taylor russell
greta onieogou 
lucy boynton
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lover-of-mine · 7 months ago
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the whole ‘why is he here’ thing is 95% of the reason i don’t understand where tf BT shippers are getting all of this from. ‘tommy’s so kind to buck’ ‘they’re so smitten’ ‘they’re made for eachother’ ‘buck’s so happy with tommy’. okay, but where?? show me in canon, read me dialogue, point out specific scenes, SHOW ME exactly where the show had told or shown you that these things are true. and they can’t! because there has been nothing on screen to suggest this, no development, no certainty about their relationship, no discussion about their relationship at all actually, no emotional connection… sure buck is smiling and happy but it’s not like buck has never smiled or never been happy before? ‘buck’s grinning!’ that’s literally how oliver smiles! he cheeses!! the show is giving absolutely nothing but then the shippers run with it and headcanon and make things up out of thin air and decide it’s canon fact to shove in people’s faces and delude themselves into believing they’re getting more than they are. either season 8 breaks them off and treats him as the fairly unimportant plot device for buck’s bisexuality realisation that they decided to keep around for a bit longer because he was getting them clicks and attention, despite the fact that they had no idea what to do with him… or it actually makes an effort to prove to us ‘why he is still here’. i know which option i’d prefer…. but my point still stands. sorry for the paragraph!
Don't apologize, I'm giving you a standing ovation. The whole Buck is happy, he's grinning thing if funny because he was like that with every girl before? He was grinning like that at Ali, he looked smitten by Taylor up until the point in 5a where they decided the relationship has been enough, everyone saw how he was smiling a Natalia at the coffee date or during 618, even the cemetery while talking about her and no one was screaming endgame even tho Natalia was played out to be his endgame in case of a cancellation. And the whole T is so kind to Buck, sure, the flirting can be cute in 704, BUT Buck is an unreliable narrator, so I kinda eye everything that happened there wondering how much is true and how much is Buck's rose colored glasses, but even in that scene, T was in no position to excuse Buck from hurting Eddie, and he actually asked Buck out after kissing him out of nowhere instead of running away like Taylor, but it's not like Taylor set a very high bar. Then maybe the way he tops Buck's beer on the date? But that gets overshadowed by the way he calls a car and leaves Buck on the curb, only communicating he's leaving when he's literally in the car, when he could've talked to Buck before? Also the closet joke to Eddie when he knew Buck wasn't out was ?????? And then we have the coffee that i still don't understand why any of that happened, because why would you agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after half a date you walked off? Then the party, if he was so great he would've dressed on theme????? He literally needs to change into a uniform because he shows up at the hospital in said uniform, so he could've put effort into his outfit. The way the hospital scene could've been cute if he had helped Buck clean his face or at least told Buck his face was dirty, and they could've walked in holding hands or something. The ceremony had nothing, Buck's hand was even in his pocket because there was nothing about that conversation to indicate they were more than friends. And the dinner in the loft had Buck being vulnerable, and the weirdest tone shift leading to a kink joke that feels very out of place given the circumstances. That's it. That's every scene. Tell me where are you seeing them being made for each other? I honestly feel like T comes out as callous and condescending every time he opens his mouth. I can't find anything to like about him or about him when it comes to Buck and I legit don't understand where the hype is coming. Like, seriously. The show gave me nothing. Let's see how the show handles him next season, I guess.
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worriedvision · 2 years ago
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Cgkxulrztjdti I just read an albedo prompted of yours and I gave me an idea. Sadly I'm not a writer so I gib this idea to you only if you like it. It's the I didn't stand a chance prompt!!!!
So reader is sad because you know they didn't really have a chance but since it's windblume how about they get closer to cyno or Tighnari maybe even Kaeya. And it just makes Albedo feel jealous but he doesn't really understand the feeling. All he knows it's just a bitter taste and it feels like his heartrate is dropping and he can't explain it but it's definitely irrigating to witness reader with another but even when Albedo tries to approach reader they avoid him because they don't want to keep holding onto that false hope of maybe he'll like me back
So the initial post was this one! Gender neutral reader, Cynos the 'love interest' here.
--
Albedo couldn't help but feel relieved to see the traveler walking down the steps to sit with him while he waited for Klee to wake up, hoping to figure out the best way to act on his interpreted feelings. He felt so comforted by them, and it felt right.
The traveler looks at the paper that had the illustration on it, and Paimon looks over their shoulder to see.
"Oh, Klee must have a very...hmm..." The traveler hums out, unsure how they felt about the picture.
"Oh, Paimon thinks Klee thinks of you like a sibling!" Paimon cheers, Klee waking up at the voice.
"No, the travelers like my parent. Like big brother Albedo!" Klee cheers, a silence afterwards.
Albedo felt embarrassed because it implies the traveler was in a partnership with him, a thing he thought he very much hopes for. The traveler felt uncomfortable, because the picture implied Klee expected the traveler to be with Albedo, and they knew once the whole thing with their sibling got resolved it would only be a matter of time until they left Teyvat. Even if they stayed in Teyvat, being stuck to Mondstadt most of the time just didn't feel right.
"Paimons hungry! Let's eat!" Paimon fills the silence, everyone relieved for different reasons.
--
The next week was when the traveler knocked on your door, realising you hadn't been seen by anyone. Hoping to check on your welfare, they wait patiently.
When you open the door, the traveler shakes their head.
"Have you been keeping yourself in there all this time?" They tut.
"I'd rather not be reminded of..." You cut yourself off, knowing better than to ruin the mood by talking about your unrequited love and how you had been eating binge foods and crying as you tried to think up new TCG strategies.
"...Come with me." They state, not giving you an option. "You're obsessed with that card game, I have a friend that you may get along with."
"Ooooh, Cyno? Paimon totally agreed, Cynos good with the game but bad with his jokes!" Paimon states, you finally deciding to grab your latest creation before following the traveler.
To your surprise, you actually get on very well with Cyno. The first round you played was a round consisting of you slamming the cards down without realising it, and Cyno matching your energy.
"How is the Stormblume festival?" Cyno states, you looking up as you process the terrible joke. "Something unfortunate must have happened. You're playing like you're angry."
"Angry isn't the word I would use...I guess I'm just lonely." You shrug, deciding against ranting about your lovelife.
"Well, how about we play a couple more rounds? If we get on, I can tell you more about myself and you can return the favour." Cyno suggests, you nodding.
--
You land up talking casually to each other each round, growing more comfortable with each other. Before you knew it, you were walking with Cyno, feeling the same first impression you had with Albedo where you knew you were in love. Cyno must have felt the same way, as he asked you on a first date after being told you both had to leave since it was closing time for the Cat's Tail.
Tighnari was standing next to Albedo, focusing on the crafting bench before his ears pick up on something.
"...Did you just whimper?" Tighnari asks, caught off-guard by the sound Albedo let out.
"No I didn't." He protests a little too quickly, Tighnari raising his brow to express he didn't buy the lie. Tighnari looks over, seeing Cyno with you, and he tilts his head.
"Are you interested in Cyno?" Tighnari asks, Albedo shaking his head.
"I don't understand what I am feeling." Albedo simply states. "I thought I knew my feelings, but now? I'm not so sure."
"I'm sure you can dig in deep and find out what you're feeling." Tighnari brushes off, turning back to the crafting bench. "Just make sure you think before you act."
--
Albedo tried to approach you a few times in the times he spotted you. When you weren't working on a case, you were spotted with Cyno. He had no idea why he felt this strange feeling about you, the yearning.
When the first attempt doesn't work, he decides to approach the traveler to explain his feelings for them. They lightly reject him, explaining they couldn't keep a relationship up with their current circumstances regarding their sibling, and Albedo feels surprised. He expected to feel hurt by this rejection, but he didn't feel anything of the sort.
"Albedo, are you okay?" Paimon yells, Albedo nodding.
"I..Traveler, what does love feel like? Or Jealousy? Or Yearning?" He lists off, the traveler clearing their throat.
"That's not a question I expected." The traveler eases out. "Feelings are complex, Albedo. People experience them in different ways, and some people...don't."
"Oh, I see..." Albedo trails off, looking at you who was now holding hands with Cyno as you take a walk.
"Was that a whimper?" Paimon gasps, Albedo realising he let out that sound again. The traveler looks in the same direction as Albedo, and they realise you were the source.
"...What happened with you two in the Library?" The traveler asks, Albedo thinking to himself.
"I told them about my feelings for you, and they didn't take it well." Albedo thinks out loud. "Now I'm not so sure my feelings are romantic. They may be only friendly."
--
The last day Cyno was in Mondstadt, you accompany him to the gates with his colleagues and Albedo.
"I'll write to you." You smile, Cyno nodding before he plants a kiss on your lips. You can't help but steal a second one, hearing a variety of noises.
An 'aww' from Collei, a groan from Tighnari, and a whimper from Albedo.
"Be sure to visit." Cyno states at the same time you do, both of you nodding before he finally takes his leave. After they disappear from your line of sight, you turn to return home only to feel Albedo grasp your wrist.
"May I have a moment?" Albedo asks. "I...wanted to ask you about your relationship with Cyno."
"Well, you saw." You state.
"I did, however...Are you both sure you can maintain this long distance?" Albedo asks, you narrowing your eyes at him.
"My relationship is none of your business." You begin, hand on your hip.
"Why are you trying to ask me about him? Did your confession to the traveler go wrong?" You ask, Albedo rubbing his neck as he decides to try something.
"It was rejected, but it clarified that I don't feel that way about them..." Albedo states, clearing his throat before looking directly at you. "I think I have these feelings for you instead."
"I've moved on, Albedo. If your feelings were true, you need to do the same." You tut, walking away from Albedo as he experiences the pain of unrequited love by himself.
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danwhobrowses · 10 months ago
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So I Finally Finished a Playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3
It's been months of playing over my holidays and the weekends, but I've finally completed my first playthrough of what was deemed Game of the Year for 2023.
As someone whose only D&D experiences come from the two movies (the bad one that traumatized me as a kid by killing Snails and the good one that deserves more love) and Critical Role, I didn't know much of what I was getting into, only my coworkers saying 'buy it, it's a masterpiece' unanimously when I inquired about it. Having no idea how to play or the lore, I was very much entering blind.
Continued down the Keep Reading
So, I'm sure we gotta get through the first set of questions so let's get to them.
What was your Tav? It took a long time to realise that 'Tav' meant your player character among fanpages, I can't tell you why it's Tav still, but I only pieced it together from Durge naming too. My Tav is Dec, short for December because that's when I started playing and I couldn't waste too much time on stream thinking up a clever name. He was a High Elf Guild Artisan, for Class I started as a Beast Master Ranger, ironic that Ranger is deemed one of the lesser classes among the community, I was adamant to not use archery at the start but by the end of it I was a Crossbow Expert. I went 9/3 with Rogue to get Assassin, but then respec'd my Ranger into a Gloomstalker, since I never really summoned the bear (probably should've learned from Sam's constant dissing of Trinket eh?) plus when I remembered Dread Ambusher it gave me 3 attacks on the first turn. He has combustible blood thanks to Araj and some tadpole powers after consuming them after the creche incident made him more open to trusting the Dream Visitor; Charm - which failed 90% of the time - Psionic Backlash, Favourable Beginnings and Luck of the Far Realms used mainly, I had Stage Fright and Force Tunnel but didn't use it, same for Cull the Weak. Likes to talk things through, especially with Persuasion/Charisma buffing invisible hats. Has the Duellist's Perogative Sword and the Swire's Sledboard Shield for Melee, and the AC bonus, plus the Armor of Agility giving him an evasive 24 AC with Advantage thanks to 20 DEX and the Cloak of Displacement.
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You can't see his scar and tattoo too well from here but I had to show off his Black Furnace and Red dye on his armour it looks too good. Here's a better look of his face:
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For his tattoo and scarring I like to think he got the tattoo after the burn, in some ways distracting it from the scarring.
Did you Save Scum? Don't Lie to Me! Yes and I'm not sorry about it. If you wanna invite me to a D&D table I'll follow the rules and how the dice lands but there's a lot more wiggle room there than in a game where there's finite dialogue options. I was also not going to sit there and let my companions turn against me just because the game fancied throwing continual Nat 1s or low rolls at me, nor would I let Omeluum die in the Iron Throne, or end up leaving the Mirror of Loss empty handed. I bought the game so if I wanna carve this experience this way I shall carve it this way, I get some people see the Morally Good path as boring for this kind of gaming but I like to be good, it feels good, and I want good things to happen for my allies, even if it means having to undo most of their religious indoctrination. But, it did take a while for me to start save scumming, really it was freeing Halsin that started it but it didn't become regular until Auntie Ethel. I only really did it for dialogue/lore expansion (or when there were two dialogue options I was between which I hoped would be interpreted how I expect it to) and for necessary buff rolls like the Mirror of Loss, but sometimes I did it to keep some key NPCs alive like Jaheira, who died at Moonrise the first time.
Who did you usually team up with? Kinda a harem squad since I had Lae'zel, Shadowheart and Karlach. I was very combat-oriented; Lae'zel adding support to Karlach's melee or Dec's ranged combat while Shadowheart made up for most of the magic with heals, summons and like 100 scrolls in her bag (Dec horded about 100 different arrows and poisons too, sometimes pays off). I respec'd her to Light Domain after the Nightsong stuff to fit her character and hair change - though I must admit I preferred the black hair - and gave her my Adamantine Splint Armour for defences plus the ring and Balduran's Helm for +5 healing each turn. Lae'zel was a Battle Master, clad in the Helldusk set, though I didn't use much of her Superiority dice moves; the enemies often made saves against it even with 18 strength (20 after the mirror of loss, and higher at endgame thanks to an Elixir of Cloud Giant Strength), I relied more on her brute force, plus reaction skills like Executioner and Sentinel, plus the Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. Karlach was a 9/3 Bear Heart Barbarian and Champion Fighter, I did respec her for the Feats but the Bone armour, Balduran's Greatsword and Brutal Jump also helped at times, plus the Gauntlets of Hill Giant Strength and the Amulet of Greater Health made her a high damage, near-200 Health-on-Rage machine (over 200 thanks to the +30 extra health at the final battle). I tended not to swap around a lot, I couldn't abandon my healer, loved Karlach's personality and I had sentiment for Lae'zel being the first person I encountered, she has the sad eyes too, but I did do some rare switching for personal quests. Initially I started with Astarion, but that's because of a misunderstanding of who Karlach was - more on that later - and it turned out that I wasn't doing much for stealth, I brought him for Cazador though, much like I brought Wyll for Ansur and Gale for the Book of Karsus. Later in Act 3 I played around with dyes and equipped everyone, out of fear that I may be sprung unprepared like with Orin - Halsin only had a torch - by all campmates joining the fight, it didn't happen but everyone at least looks stylish.
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I go between whether I like Wyll's colours though, on one hand he looks like a Templar and the white would stand out in Avernus, other times he looks like a cosplayer XD Minsc and Jaheira needed no dyes the colours already suited well, but I do love the colours I chose for Astarion, Halsin and Karlach.
Who did you fuck? (romance) Probably would've been asked sooner but sadly Dec became an unintended bachelor, at least outside of the headcanon. He did share a night of passion with Lae'zel after freeing the Emerald Grove but it wasn't something he wanted to pursue further, our dynamic was more befitting of two soldiers, or at least a dynamic where we think we're the General and the other the Advisor. Had Shadowheart took 'later' for her drink offer as 'I want to see all the dialogues other characters have first' rather than a refusal there might have been a romance there, instead I feel we fell into a more sibling bond, she can be a bit too sassy at times in passing dialogue - I had hoped to see more development with her and Lae'zel eventually being friends. Wyll did his best to throw sad puppy eyes at me when I refused to dance with him but it just made things more awkward, Gale meanwhile probably was gonna make moves when teaching me the Weave but he was very hung up on Mystra for me to entertain it, I sat with him when he felt the mortal coil though. Astarion I think made a passing suggestion but nothing of substance, Halsin left it late after he got kidnapped by Orin - I didn't realise he had to physically join the party to be a part of the group until Act 3 - coming onto me right before I confronted the Brain which was quickly turned down. I believe Minsc and Jaheira are unable to be romanced atm, and I did not fuck the Emperor; it weirded me out that he just was there shirtless chilling next to my unconscious dream state. We killed Minthara, didn't know you could recruit or romance her in a Morally Good path. Which left Karlach, fuck did I want to romance Karlach, not for lack of trying either; but because when I met Wyll he was talking about killing her I immediately assumed 'oh Karlach must be that woman on the cover with him' (aka 'the bitch who could've been cool if she wasn't such a bitch' Mizora, who I also wouldn't have romanced given the option) and stuck a pin in it, I was also unaware that most Act 1 romance stuff would come to a head at the end of the Emerald Grove quest which I prioritized so I only encountered Karlach after I saved Halsin and the Grove, meaning I couldn't reach Dammon until Act 2. By then Karlach seemed to be locked out of romance, perhaps for another misunderstanding on my part too since I did upgrade her engine twice at Lost Light very swiftly, but it still was a knife to the heart after all that and the date at the circus that she called us 'just mates' to Fytz. All this and then they give us a better kissing patch ¬_¬
Yes so sad, anyway what about ~Astarion~? Astarion is popular, and I know why he's popular, and the scene of him killing Cazador was very well done...but Astarion for me though was just fine; I mean you guys see Karlach right? Part of the reason she stays my group was that I can't bear to part from her. A lot of the times my Morally Good options didn't align with Astarion's brand of pessimistic chaos, so he spent a lot of time in camp as I mispronounced his name until I heard it be properly said, which probably hampered his story a bit more, but we had a close enough friendship that he heeded my advice with the Ascension and the spawn, wish he reacted to me getting a painting of him since he can't see his reflection though, felt like something could've been done there. Jaheira was a fun personality too, angry old lady who says it like it is, kinda wish we had more to her quest, seeing her home and her interacting with her wards/children was interesting, Minsc was charming too in his simple way, would've been cool if he had more of a presence as well, like we could hear about Minsc and the Stone Lord in separate lights earlier in the game to build up to him. On that topic, I was surprised to find that there wasn't a companion for each role, I suppose there were constraints but Aylin and Zevlor both worked as Paladins, Alfira a Bard (though I don't think anyone would dare put her in the line of fire), I suppose there's little need for a Sorcerer when you had a Wizard or a Monk when you had a Fighter and Barbarian but it was strange, you get 2 Druids and your Ranger is built more like a Fighter or Barbarian (the latter I added to Minsc). I'd later learn that there was cut content for a halfling companion who was a werewolf, but I can see why that one was cut, with Chetney and all, but yeah not any halflings, Barcus could've been a companion even without the Artificer class, or a Dragonborn.
So how did your story go? Being the Morally Good Guy I was I went through most of the best options I could, but I also tried to avoid combat earlier on when I was struggling to work with it. I was friendly with the Goblin Camp for starters, since they thought I was with the Absolute and Dec is willing to put shit on his face to avoid conflict, it all went tits up after freeing Halsin and having to kill everyone but it may've had some benefit to how I could walk freely through Moonrise. Ironically it was the same with the Githyanki, friendly up until they wanted me to hand over the prism, though the Creche was a lost cause anyway, they're lucky I didn't ransack the place, could've gotten a lot of xp and loot there. I let Viconia live, so she can dwell on that burn Shadowheart gave her but oftentimes I was not so merciful, do wish I didn't kill that one Sharran with the letter of hating being there though, why'd you fight me girl? Same with the Bhaalist with the parents at Elfsong, and the goblin children, I was using nonlethal but arrows don't count as I'd soon learn. Allies were mostly good-to-neutral creatures like the Tieflings (though I wish I saved more, nobody told me about the harpies and I thought convincing Rolan to stay would mean the Grove not the Shadow Cursed Lands - also why send refugees who struggle with goblins through the SHADOW CURSED LANDS?) and 90% of the Ironhand Gnomes because fuck Wulbren - I didn't like Barcus too much at first, thought him rude, but when Wulbren didn't even show gratitude for his attempts I softened to him. Kindness made me quite the enemy to others however; the infernal naturally did not appreciate my deeds of pact breaking but saving the Duke anyway and pilfering the House of Hope, but to be fair Raphael (and his clear portrait of himself I clocked onto immediately when he was in his human guise to know he was untrustworthy) never repaid me in-game for 'killing' Yurgir, and Mizora would've squirmed a lot more in her Ilithid pod had it been a table interaction - though, the latter two were more than willing to help me with the Absolute, 'cept Raphael because he's dead - but in my defence I loved outwitting and being a sassy little shit to demons. Slaying the Chosen was a given, as a very Pro-Karlach guy I was never letting Gortash live, got the Father/Grandfather-Daughter set with Bhaal too. Killing the former Balduran was disappointing; as much as he was on my side he always felt like he had his own ulterior motives, he also had a superiority complex to him with his constant urging of being half-Ilithid; thinks it's not important that he's Balduran either, dismissing Ansur's legend until confronted by Ansur's spirit. Stealing the Orphic Hammer was an insurance policy at first, I could understand Voss' disdain for us using Githyanki Jesus in a box like a forcefield, but it's a shame that the guy who was all about trust decided not to trust me in releasing Orpheus; we could've stopped the brain together! Omeluum would've heard me out. I mean Orpheus was a bit salty but he at least was willing to negotiate and not immediately side back with the brain like a petty bitch. I'd say the gods have mixed feelings with me; friendly with Selune and Lathander at least, and whatever Withers is - though the guy roasted me about my love life. The rest either neutral or anti; Shar and Vlaakith (if you can call her a god) definitely hate me, because they're sore losers, think Myrkul and Bhaal likely hate me, Bane however seemed to respect game not sure how I feel about that. I don't quite like Mystra, think she's a bit extreme with her treatment of Gale, but I understand her role, valid god but shitty person. On the other hand I probably have Cyric's favour for helping the Strange Ox, which might be bad...but Milil was happy to be recognized.
In the end, most of the allies got to live somewhat happily; Gale got the orb out of him and became a professor, Lae'zel - having dealt the final blow to the brain - leads the charge against Vlaakith after Orpheus became a Mind Flayer and was mercy killed, Shadowheart has her family (Shar would've always been with her regardless of her choice), a bunch of pets and can maybe reminisce with Nocturne again one day, Jaheira and Minsc - once he survives Zhentharim execution, didn't realise I needed to have him talk to Nine Fingers - also can rest with her wards and probably share drinks with Nine Fingers until the next fight, Astarion sadly has no cure for vampirism but he is owning it and killing the right people (I like to think he'll get to see the sun again, maybe Omeluum and the Mycolids help), plus Halsin has a bunch of kids in Moonrise to look after, plus Thaniel, Oliver and a new Owlbear who I'd rather had left with Dammon given the option. Isobel and Aylin can settle down, Rolan runs the Sundries, Hope is free, Alfira and Lakrissa got their bard's school, Florrick and Ravengard resume leadership to rebuild, Dammon has his forge, Scratch found a new home in this Mindy (but I remain best master), Mol I'm sure will be running the Guildhall in a few years, Thrumbo has a shelter for his brothers, Mayrina will raise her son without the threat of a hag, Vanra won't become a hag (but does need therapy), and Arabella will probably be the next Withers after reading some more rocks. Yenna didn't seem to have an ending so I'll assume that she found a loving home too, maybe with Halsin or as one of Jaheira's wards, or maybe Gale wants a Sous Chef since she did bring her own carving knife if you didn't know. I wish Alfira got invited to the epilogue, god of song is fine but not the familiar face and it would've been cool for them to meet, nice to get a letter at least, and we'll have to visit Art's grave sometime. Surprised we got no word about Mizora, I didn't get a letter from Geraldus even though he survived, Naaber apparently had more in him after wanting to be a dog, sad not to get anything from Rolan, Devella (I know Valeria mentioned her but c'mon), the Gondians, Mol, Omeluum, or Aylin and Isobel from the epilogue, did we really need the ramblings of Ettvard? Plus the papers must've glitched they said Stelmane's killer was still at large? Post-credits scene felt a bit weak mind you, but guessing Withers is that old God of Death Jerghal? Least he's not a surprise villain to fight. As for me, well, I was never one to give up on people and neither is Dec, and thus Dec and Karlach brave Avernus to seek a fix for her infernal engine, punch a few demons and whatnot, Wyll is there too as the Blade of Avernus, a role he embraced twice after barely contributing to killing Ansur but that's more proximity. We'll chill in the House of Hope especially after her letter, but soon enough we'll all return to Faerun on a more permanent basis.
So you enjoyed it? Yes, very much. I did of course make a lot of mistakes though; kept forgetting about Dread Ambusher for one, my earlier failures at romance still stung, I think the game wasn't as welcoming to those unfamiliar to it. The dice did not like me many times, I once got a Nat 1 in a 2 DC with +2 bonus, I also have had several instances of back-to-back Nat 1s, even had 6 in two different streams. Combat was an adjustment period, I missed a lot of the time which was frustrating, or the enemy would make saving throws on my gambits, Karlach even got pushed into the abyss at the Temple of Bhaal, I was livid. I think I probably would've experienced more if the game established better that you can long rest as much as you like without turning into a Mind Flayer, because much of Act 1 was me reluctant to Long Rest because they say you can change 'within 2-3 days', as a result that affected some romance options too, nobody to spend the night with if there's no night, as well as other in-camp interactions - Astarion never tried to bite me for instance, and I'm sure Raphael would've arrived to reward me for killing Yurgir had we not dealt with a backlog of interactions. I remained quite the hesitant player too, I ignored Gale stuck in a portal for a while fearing some magical backlash was gonna vaporize me, oftentimes I expected worse than what actually happened. Graphically there were a few characters whose cheeks were being pulled to the far left side of the map which was weird, and some battles would have enemies who would just do nothing for their turns, and some areas didn't render quick enough to not be noticed, but it was small stuff in comparison, I didn't do much for camp clothes or dyes until late on but probably for the better since style should be for the final act. I also keep seeing stuff that I somehow missed in my playthrough; like there's an angry squirrel near the grove? A frog in Ethel's house? A bird who wanted help with the giant eagles? What? Where?
What was the most difficult part? Act 3 had a lot of tough shit going down, though one of my most memorable struggles was against Auntie Ethel in Act 1. Already deep in her domain at lv4 it was a rough run to start with, continually hit by Hold Person by her projections, only when I learned they were one-hits did it become a little easier, but without Extra Attack it was still difficult. After that combat was here and there, sometimes it was just the environment like being jammed in a pipe when fighting Minsc; Lorroakan was annoying, Grym I had to be tactical with the hammer, the Assassin at the Facemaker was quite difficult too because he'd Haste himself and hide. The Death Shepherds in the Mountain Pass were surprisingly difficult without the Blood of Lathander, much easier with its Sunbeam. The companion quest final battles of Cazador, Ansur and Viconia were each difficult in their own way; the former was most annoying because my party would be downed but the thrown healing potions weren't working (plus those downed members were the ones with Radiant damage and holy water), wasn't even Bone Chilled like with Viconia, Ansur was difficult because of his burst attack. Raphael hits fucking hard, but once I realised that Hope kept dying because she was getting backlash from dealing Radiant Damage it was just attrition and lots of potion throwing. Combat-wise I think the toughest battle was Cazador due to the glitch of thrown potions not healing, otherwise the toughest boss was Ansur. Overall the most difficult experience I found was the timed operations of the Iron Throne.
Will you play again? Most likely, which is something I don't tend to say so Larian did do their job well. Though I might wait a bit to play other games first and give Larian time to add more content and finer polishing, I think I'd have a better time with it the second time around, would definitely try to resolve previous wrongs or missed opportunities, though I doubt I'd look forward to everything there; killing the Goblin Camp was still difficult work, same with the Steel Watch and all the turn limit stuff, I'll at least wait until I have Extra Attack before dealing with Ethel in Act 1 and take more Long Rests, maybe rotate the party a bit more and try out some other classes - but you will pry Speak with Animals out of my cold dead hands! Learning later about there being a bunch of cut content would entice me to play a third time if they reach a stage where all the intended content has been added in, but there's not exactly a time frame for that or a clear show of intent so far, so we'll see in that one, for all that is cut it seems like the end product is the tip of the iceberg. Enjoyed the play, played for a long time, would play again: money well spent.
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eyesofshan-if · 1 year ago
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the demo was so good im dead 😫 the empress has my whole heart 😖💕
i have some questions! (nsfw!)↓ (please, only answer if comfortable)
1. i realized that the commander is viewed as bottom more often than not during the game, is it because they're Shan and consequently seen as submissive in nature?
2. if there ever are nsfw scenes in game, in the situation that the commander/RO preferences clash (top/top or bottom/bottom), could you make it so it's talked about in game? giving the option to compromise (rock, paper, scissors? lmao) or maybe opt out? it's just something that irks me in games, normally the PC has to just go along with what the RO prefers, or cancel the choice (the game treating it as if the PC is "not ready yet to do such things"). i just think it's more natural to talk about it and come to conclusions such as "i don't mind switching", "i never tried *insert preference here*, but i'd like to try it with you", "sorry i really don't enjoy doing it like that, but there's more to sex than just penetration if you want to keep going, or maybe we could just cuddle". (i'm sorry for this long ask, i'm just a fervent defender of how sex is a wide ranged topic and goes beyond missionary and the very heteronormative societal view😓)
3. in one ask you said that Hansol had experimented with fellow soldiers and how he "didn't approve of and didn't like the experience", why is it? also, did he have the "full experience" (gave and received hand/blow jobs, topped, bottomed, etc)? i also asked the second question because Hansol is the one portrayed as very much a top/dom, so in all honesty, would he bottom?
thank you for your hard work! <3
yongsun superiority!!! nsfw under the cut!!
i'm not sure if you mean bottom in a sexual manner (since i don't think there have been any nsfw leaning scenes in the story), but the mc will have to control their emotions more and bite their tongues while in hae due to their status as a slave. however, i don't think i've written them particularly dominant or submissive? so maybe you could let me know where you felt the mc acted that way
IF there are any nsfw scenes in the story, yes i'll have the characters talk about it in game!! i'm all for a healthy dose of realism in nsfw scenes
it was a very messy experience where a few soldiers were drinking after successfully raiding a geurim supply camp, and hansol was peer-encouraged/pressured into gaining some "experience" as a man. he got a handjob, sobered up and realised he was kind of uncomfortable with the whole thing, and quickly left. he doesn't approve of it because he doesn't enjoy treating people as a means to an end for pleasure, in addition to more traditional beliefs that sex should happen within the boundaries of a marriage or at least pre-existing relationship. as for bottoming... well, hansol is a service top who leans more towards domming in that sense, but i can see him being willing to try out bottoming if his partner requested it!!
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oceansssblue · 1 year ago
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[THE BAD BATCH] — Soulmate AU
ECHO/OFC
WARNINGS: SOME ANGST (HAPPY ENDING), ECHO WITH SOME SELF-BODY ISSUES.
Echo stared at his now metallic forearm. He could almost picture it; the way his tanned skin used to show her name, the strange irreplacable ink shaping the five small letters that had changed everything back when he was a kid. His soulmate's name. His mark. His bond.
Echo had been nine when the five letters had suddenly sewed themselves onto his skin. It was just an uncomfortable itch at first; then, it burned. When nine year old Echo had dragged his right sleeve up to check his forearm, he had found a name.
<< Raine >>
Five small letters that gave him hope and cursed him all the same. His first feelings had been –after shock and confusion– pure joy and affection. Someone, somewhere in the galaxy, was destined just for him; a true match to his particular soul. Not his brothers, not just any clone; His.
Then, that joy and hope had been squashed away. Taken with greedy hands and harsh words. He still remembered the lecture the kaminoans gave him, amongs a few other lucky –or unlucky– clones. The hope and joy was replaced with fear, guilt, and sadness. Someone, somewhere, was destined to live in constant worry for him, or worse, forced to experience his loss with or without the chance to getting to know him. Because he was just a clone, engineered to fight a war for the Republic; and nothing else mattered at all. Not that name; not his bond. Not Raine.
Years passed, and little Echo kept growing into the soldier he was now with strict rules and a clear objective in mind; becoming an ARC trooper, protecting his Jedi general and the Republic, surviving fight after fight among the brothers who could. Survive. All thoughts of his soulmate were burried under a million worries and more than a dozen closed calls; under the grief he held for the death of too many vods and the anger and rippling sadness that threatened to bury him alive. Just keep fighting. Dont give up. It became his new mantra; and that he did, until the option was taken away from him too.
His memories of Skako Minor were, at best, hazy and mixed up. He saw numbers. He saw Fives, and Rex, his squad and all the manuals he had learned by page. He saw, but he didn't think. Or live. He was just something; part of the technology, of a system, not even a clone right then. He didn't realise how much he liked and needed to be just a clone until he started his long way to recovery after Anaxes and found out just how different he was from the rest of them now.
The death of his twin had been even more difficult to process than getting used to his new body and mind. He didn't recognise himself in the mirror; didn't recognise who he was without fives. But the Bad Batch showed him who he could be. He had hold onto that new oportunity while he learned how to cope with his new shape; how his complex interface worked, how to filter huge amounts of data in his head, how his legs and scomp moved. It hadn't been easy. It still wasn't. But he had learned to leave the past behind; how to focus on what he still had, and suddenly, with time, Clone Force 99 had become family in his eyes. After the fall of the Republic, he had sticked with them. One day, Echo would contact Rex and join the Rebellion, return to what he did best; until the Bad Batch found a safe haven, a place for Omega to grow without the fear of getting caught by the Empire constatly hugging her, Echo would cover their backs.
(•••)
"I'm still unable to comprehend where I could have made a mistake. I have considered every option I have been able to come up with; but something must obviously be escaping my mind. Your prothesis are failing to recuperate their full movility and speed and I can't seem to find the error in order to fix it so..."
Echo tried not to chuckle at Tech's constant mutters and rambling. They had just finished a mission for Cid in Ackerton three days ago, in which once again Echo had used his new abilities to infiltrate in an external security system to get the doors that they needed oppened. He had done that with no problem at all; but his legs had buckled right after achieving it and he would have had hit the floor if Wrecker wasn't there to catch him in time. It had appeared to be just a minor shock to his system, back then; with Echo quickly regaining his foot and finishing the mission swiftly with no other complications at all. However, the strange malfunction had repeated at least twice per day since then; and Tech, to the resident genious own greatest frustration, handn't been able to find the reason yet. That's why they were currently walking towards the supposedly best ingeneering workshop in a nearby planet, Osk; to, for once, get some external help.
"I'm sure it's nothing, Tech", Echo answered with his usually calm, soft voice, trying to put his brother at ease while he continued directing them through the route he was visualising in his head. "We'll get it fixed in no time".
Tech frowned in evident irritation. He was also worried for Echo, even if expressing in annoyment his lack of knowledge was the only way he knew how to.
"It is not nothing. If it were, I would have obviously found the malfunction and..." He started, but was quickly cut out by Echo's voice as the soldier stopped right on his track and scanned the building in front of them with interest.
"Clanks&Screws, that's our place right there" announced Echo, making Tech go silent for a tiny while he too scanned the workshop from the outside.
Echo nodded and walked towards the entrance without bothering to check if his vod was following or not.
"Can't believe we're leaving this in hands of a shop with a name like that..." Tech muttered, but entered the work place just the same.
At least the shop was kept clean and only slightly disorganized. Some chips, wires, drivers and half projects where abandoned here and there; but otherwise it didn't give off the impression of someone who just wanted to get money doing a shitty half job. Tech examined the space without hiding his curiosity; while Echo tried to locate the resident ingeneer, who was no where to be found.
"Be right there!" Shouted a voice from an adjacent room, right then, and once recovered from the surprise both clones waited patiently for the workers arrival. They could hear a feminine mumble across the opened door behind the counter. "Just make sure it doesn't crumble again, little bug".
They didn't have much time to ponder to whom she was talking to –though by the nickname, and considering where they were, it was probably some kind of techno droid– before a tall girl with chocolate brown hair tied up in a messy bun and black grease stains across her cheeks and hands walked towards them. She had caramell eyes, a small button nose and a very un-flattering work overall on. Even with her figure hidden from stranger's wandering glances, Echo couldn't help thinking how beautiful she was.
"What can I help you with, boys?" She asked, after scanning them in a fraction of a second that felt too long and yet not enough to the former ARC trooper.
Tech was quick to jump into his endless explanation and, surprisingly, the –probably in her mid twenties– woman patiently listened and nodded along. Further from feeling annoyed or irritated, she seemed to cling to each word as if she were gratefull to have someone who had done some research and knew what they were on about for once. She payed special attention at how Echo's neural system worked; her eyes turning to steal a glance from him here and there while Tech continued discussing posibilities and his thorough research. Echo awkardly –yet patiently– waited for the two ingeneering experts to come to a conclussion.
"Have you checked his neural interface, then?" She cut out, once she knew the googled man wasn't going to point out any adittional relevant information anymore, and Tech looked at her stunned.
"Oh, I can't believe I didn't evaluate the posibility of the malfunction coming from his central system! I went straight to the prothesis without taking into consideration that his neural conexion may have been seveered while tapping into the defence code web and..."
The young mechanic chuckled and turned to Echo. Those were two interesting men.
"Have you been having some sort of visual or processing weird alteration too, handsome?"
Echo blushed involuntarily and tried to remember.
"I... I have, actually. I didn't think too much about it, but I've been able to process data almost too fast. Faster than my usual rythim, at least. But that's not exactly a bad thing, right?" He asked, wearily.
She hummed and crouched down to grab a case of tools and placed it on the counter in front of her.
"Not painful, but not a good thing either" she answered distractedly, her hands roaming through the tools in search of a specific one. "It might be a sign that your prothesis aren't sending the necessarily signs to your neural system and therefore making it able to speed the conexions of other functions. Imagine your body is a circuit. If you eliminate or lower the charge on the colateral one that goes towards your legs, the other conexions will be able to work faster. That way you can sort throw data better, but loose movility, range and speed."
Echo didn't ever think that he would feel that atracted to brains; even if it were a desirable trait, he would have imagined that it would be more of Tech's thing. However, this woman knew what she was talking about; and he found the determined way she talked and moved and her easy, collected disposition refreshingly attractive. It helped she was pretty, too.
"Alright, let's have a look" she announced, once she finally found the rounded tool she was apparently looking for, and pointed at one side of the room to him "Can you sit on the stool over there and take off your shirt?"
Stating that Echo's cheeks burned brighter than a star would have been an understatement.
"W-What?" He could only managed to stutter, paralised.
The young mechanic laughed –a true, un-restrained, melodic sound– and showed him a loop-sided amused smirk.
"Not like that, handsome" she soothed him, albeit with a entertained twinkle in her caramel eyes. "I've seen a pair of similar neural systems like yours before, and you guys usually have a double entrance point to minimise the risk of overcharing and damaging a port. I assume you got one hiding there on your head implant and one on some spot on your spine, don't you?
Tech could still read the shock and hesitance on his brothers face and decided to gift him with some more seconds to collect himself.
"You are, indeed, correct. Your knowledge is impressive. I confess I had my reservations upon arrival, but I can see now that my doubts were unfair".
The young woman showed the goggled clone a small smile and waited for Echo to finally react. He did so with a million doubts and concerns running through his head. He was used to his body by now, but he wasn't used to others looking at it. He sat down on the stool regardless and slowly took his shirt off; staring down at the floor and trying not to fidget in his self-consciousness.
She seemed to understand what he was feeling and thinking about; as she quickly stepped behind his back without staring at his body more than necessary and reassuring him before actually starting to play with his head.
"I'm gonna do this as quick and swiftly as possible, okay? Just gonna plug in in both ports and run a quick scanning system first. If it is what I think it is, my program will find the severed conexion in no time and we'll get it fixed under fifteen minutes. Sounds good?"
Echo nodded in silence. He felt an electric rush zapping through his veins when the young woman connected to both of his ports; feeling slightly comforted while she talked him through what she was going to do. Her hand softly caressed one side of his neck; and Echo couldn't hold his reaction. He trembled; a feeling mixed with both panic and pleasure. She assumed it to be purely the first and her voice turned surprisingly soft and gentle.
"You alright there? It shouldn't be painfull at all. Just a few more minutes. Let me know if it does, okay?"
He nodded, closing his eyes and letting her search along his files. It felt weirdly intimate, somehow. He tried to mantain his breathing under control and not think of Skako Minor. He was safe, now; even if someone was checking him like the half-droid he was.
"Found it" her satisfied voice popped up after some minutes, making Echo open her eyes and only then realising he was crushing Tech's hand on his own one. He let it go with a small apologising glance; his googled brother completely unfased by the act. "It was just what I thought. The security interface you tried to infiltrate must have sent a shock to your system that has somehow rerouted some of the conexions between your neural implant and your legs prothesis towards other circuits. That's why you can still move them but without the same speed, strength, and movility range. I just have to carefully rerout it back to normal and you should be good to go in ten".
Both Echo and Tech nodded in understanding, and they let the mechanic perform her art. Tech studied each step; making sure nothing was put out of place and learning along the way. She diligently worked in near silence for the next few minutes; muttering to herself here and there and turning the corners of her lips up in victory when achieving each step.
She finally sighed and very carefully and slowly plugged out of the man's ports. She threw her tools back onto their case and handed Echo his shirt, standing up in front of him and showing him a small smile.
"All done. Feeling good, handsome?"
Echo re-dressed and cautiously tried to flex his artificial knees and twist around. He nodded in relief. Tech did too, satisfied.
"Yeah. I didn't even realise it before, but it did feel different than usual. Now it feels just right". He looked up at her with honest eyes. "Thank you. What do we owe you for this?"
She walked back towards the counter while she answered.
"Usual price is 100 osseks. But it was a pretty quick repair, and I like you guys, so we'll leave it at 90, how about that?
Tech stepped in and extended his hand.
"We appreciate it. Unconviniently, we only count with its equevalent in credits. Would that pose a problem?"
She shrugged and waved a hand.
"Nah. I accept pretty much any sort of payment here. Just let me call bug in so he can scan those credits for me. Not that I think you guys are trying to fool me, but scammers are getting quite creative this days".
Echo nodded in agreement.
"No offense taken" he added, and she turned to the opened door calling her droid out.
"Four-o-nine! Move your little wings here and scan this credits for me, bug!
A small red CRX-technodroid calmly flew towards them; making chirping sounds while he inmediatly followed the human's order. Tech curiously glanced at both Echo and the droid before voicing his observation.
"Curious name for a technodroid" he started, tentatively, while she waited for the red bug to finish his scan.
"Is it?" She answered, distracted, saving the credits in a safe place and getting the change for them. "I named it after someone important to me".
Tech collected the excess back and dropped it in one of his numerous belt pouches. He just had a feeling about this. Could he be right?
"May I ask who? A family member, pherhaps?"
Her face filled with melancholy and a sad smile perched on her lips for once.
"It's someone who I've never met", was her quiet answer, and Echo felt his heart beat intensifying and threatening to burst out of his chest right then. He had catched up on Tech's suspition. But there was no way that beautiful woman was her soulmate, right?
His tongue felt stuck to his mouth. Fortunately for him, Tech continued his cautious research like he always did.
"You must have realised were clones, as intelligent as you are, albeit different than the mayority of us. Am I correct in assuming that that is his CT-number?
She seemed hesitant to confirm his theory, but ended up nodding and Echo felt closer to suffering a heart attack. This was it. This could be it. This could be the moment where his whole world shifted again and...
"1409, yeah. I cut it down to four-o-nine for short" she let out a nervous chuckle, reading their postures and understanding the direction of his questions with a growing heaviness in her heart. "Don't tell me you know him? After the Republic fell I assumed I wasn't going to be able to meet him. Everyone's on the run, nowadays, and..."
She grew silent, fidgeting with the end of her sleeve, and Echo swallowed his insecurities down. He glanced at Tech, who nodded at him and gave him the rest of the strength he needed to voice his confession out loud.
"I am... I am CT-1409. I... I'm your soulmate."
A million thoughts and emotions seemed to flash in the girls eyes. She stared in shock, stunned; looking at him a few seconds later with raw hope and anxiousness etched in every fraction of her face.
"If... if this is a joke, it's no fun" she whispered, without tearing her caramel eyes of him, and Echo couldn't stop staring back even when Tech's voice intervened.
"I can assure you Echo is indeed clone trooper 1409. We have no reason to lie to you; we've already achieved what we came here for".
She tugged her sleeve up. Without looking at her right forearm, she caressed the numbers on her skin. Echo trembled at the sight. It was such a reverent gesture, filled with such hope and warmth...
Her caramel eyes searched his amber ones; the stare she gave him was so intense it seemed as if she was searching his very own soul. And he was hers. His soul.
"Tell me my name. If you're my soulmate, you must have had it etched in your skin, once, too."
She needed confirmation. And he understood. Echo knew right then that she had been waiting for him even longer than he himself had. Because while her memory had been forcebly burried inside his mind, toppled with his hard life as a soldier, he was still fresh in hers; no-one told her to shut it down, to forget about him. And Echo understood once more all the lies that the kaminoans had tried to teach them about their soulmates too. It didn't matter if they met each other or not. It didn't matter if the clones succeeded in forgetting them. Their soulmates worries and fear for them would not change. Would not stop. And neither would their love and care.
"Raine" he whispered, as if she would dissolve in thin air if her name was spoken too loud "Your name burnt my right forearm when I was nine years old. I was told to forget... But i never truly did. It was the one order I never couldn't fully follow".
Her eyes filled with tears and she tumbled towards him.
"F-Fuck. Fuck... You-You are..."
She couldn't help herself. Some part of her understood the reservations he might have to being hugged and touched; but he was his soulmate, he was fucking there, and she couldn't do any other thing that throwing herself into his arms.
Echo couldn't bring himself to plant distance between each other either. A slight panic flew through his veins with the unexpected contact; but she was there, and surprisingly, she fiercely wanted him. And Raine was all he ever wanted too, even if he wasn't allowed to feel so.
She cried on his shoulder, whispering against his armour.
"I thought you might be... With the war and the rise of the Empire, I hadn't found you yet and I thought I might never..."
Echo moved his left hand over her back in a soothing caress.
"It's alright. It's alright, Mesh'la. I'm sure it was difficult, and we've... I've been through a lot, too... But we're here now. I'm right here, okay?"
She felt strong enough to push her face back a little in order to being able to look up towards him. She was tall, sure, but he was even taller. She liked that.
"I've been calling you handsome and trying to flirt with you since you stepped inside my shop, thinking I might find myself a hot date for a change and..." she let out a teary laugh, making Echo chuckle with her, too.
"And I happen to be your soulmate" he finished for her, showing a small warm smile. "You know, that actually makes me feel a bit better. I was worried that if I ever managed to find you, you wouldn't find this..." he gestured "Attractive".
She bit her lip and some of that previously cool collected cheekiness reappeared.
"Oh, handsome, believe me" her arms slowly wrapped around his shoulders and neck, and she grinned at him "I find you hot as fuck".
They chuckled and laughed together; both unable to resist each other anymore and joining their lips in a passionate –yet gentle– kiss. She melted in his arms. Kissing his soulmate, Echo, had to be the best thing she had experienced in her life.
Later that night, when Echo returned to the Marauder with the rest of his family –they all had agreed to stay for a whole extra week in Osk to give the young mechanic time to pack her things up and join them– Raine looked down to her forearm and caressed his four digits with a soft smile.
<<1409>>
She couldn't be happier; couldn't feel prouder of having his mark on her skin. And she couldn't wait to experience all that were to come.
THE END.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
AUTHORS NOTE:
That's it for this one folks! Please forgive any errors I've made; English is not my native language.
I really hope you've enjoyed this! And if you have (or even if you haven't, I accept constructive critisicsm) let me know in the comments! This is my first au ever in tumblr (i write fics on wattpad in spanish) and I'm sure I'll feel more inspired to continue if you do so.
Also, I accept requests! If you want me to write a story about a specific clone, with whatever theme or relationship you can imagine (i can also write dark stuff, smutt, WHATEVER) let me know in the comments or send me a dm!
Xx, Sky.
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rose-smoke · 1 year ago
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for nischa agere: vent regression/struggling to regress? Revealing regression and the first time one of them takes care of the other? Gingerbread house building and decorating? A birthday party just the two of them? Going to the park? Or trying to go to an amusement park and one of them regresses from the trauma? Bedtime?
Im thinking agere!noel and cg!mischa but the other way around is awesome too! Ooo or theyre both flips? Up to you!
Also i gave a lot of options but please do not feel obligated to do all or any of these, theyre just suggestions you can do if youd like, or combine them! Everything from here is your call
I can't not tell you how excited I got when I saw this (kicking legs and giggling excited) so anyway😍
Title: french snore mode activated
Regressor: noel
Cg: mischa
One day, noel asked mischa if he could come over for a sleepover just randomly and mischa said yes :D
It is now the sleepover day!! Noels so nervous he might throw up, but he has teddy bear to keep him safe, did I mention noel age regresses? Well he does and now he's scared if he does he'll be an embarrassment, so noel hides all his toys and makes sure his pacifier and other agere supplies are hidden well. Noel then hears a knock on the front door and quite literally sprints like a demon on meth to the door and opens it, but it's just the delivery man "hi sir, I have a package for gay boy?" the mail man said in a thick ukrainian accent, trying not to laugh as noel realised- "mischa you're so annoying when you dress like that to prank people" noel groaned as he pulled mischa up to his room and pushed him on the bed "noel, no need to be like that, you don't wanna be wack right?" (Im sorry i have no idea how to write mischas slang or whatever you call it so mischa shall be cringe 💀💀💀) mischa said as he pulled noel down with him and ruffled his hair "mischa stop i just styled my hair" noel complained as he pushed mischas hand away.
After a while of doing stuff, it was night time and noel wanted mischa to fall asleep first because...well noel felt like he was regressing and if mischa fell asleep first then he could regress no stress, now mischa knew noel regresses because noel accidentally regressed at his house one time and  it was fine but noel still didn't really trust regressing near anyone just yet. After a few minutes, mischa was texting talia and noel was fighting the urge to regress, mischa looked up and walked over to noel "noel, dude you good?" He asked seeming concerned, he pulled noel into a hug and noel just sighed "im fine mi'cha...just tired.." he said slurring some of his words, which mischa knew were meaning he was regressing "monbon you sure?" Mischa asked and tried not to laugh as he saw noel get embarrassed at the nickname "..why dat na'e?.." he asked "because its cute little dude" noel got more embarrassed "no wittle" he pouted as mischa picked him up "what does my cutie need hm?" He cooed as noel pointed to a drawer, so mischs opened it and saw all of noels agere stuff so he grabbed a pacifier "say ahh" "ahh" noel opened his mouth and mischa put the pacifier in and hands noel his plushie as mischa lays on the bed and cuddles noel to sleep.
(I gave up in the end)
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louisisalarrie · 11 months ago
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Lmao about to jump on your bbg discussion here. My issue with the scenario of ending with a paternity test has always been that GP will always still believe that he at the very least, slept with a woman. I was under the impression during 1D years, particularly the later years with RBB, that H and L wanted to eventually come out as a couple, thus the hinting about Larry. Obviously things can change over the years and perhaps they don't want that anymore, but if they do, then the only way to actually do that and have it make sense is to literally tell the truth as the ending. Like a legit tell all about being forced into the closet, the beards, the fake pregnancy, everything. Because he can't logically say "I thought this hookup gave me a kid for the past 8 years" and "H and I have been together since 2010" and not have people be ??? But do you think coming out with the legit truth is ever possibility at all? Or no matter what, will people always think some aspects of the stunts were true? As I said though, maybe H and L don't really care at this point, they know larries know the truth? Just something I've thought about a lot!
Helloooo anon! Lovely to hear your thoughts and thanks for joining in the discussion! I’ll try and break this down a bit into main points so I don’t ramble about everything all at once and it ends up illegible hehe.
Alrighty, so I think that the GP always thinking louis had slept with a woman because of bbg ending in a paternity result is what it is. As long as it stops the stunt, that’s what matters to him and to us. This is a Step 1 of the coming out process, and once those headlines die down about it, then it’s deciding how H and L come out. In my opinion, there are a few ways this could go after bbg ends:
a) harry comes out first, Louis comes out months later (long enough for it to not be immediately connected by gp), then they start being seen together and a “new” relationship between them is seeded and say they’ve never been together until now
b) louis and harry come out together in a relationship, say they’ve never been together until now
c) louis and harry come out together in a relationship, say they’ve been together since 1d, and expose all the stunts by breaking their NDAs
Now… all 3 of these options work with the narrative of a paternity test. In all options, they are still able to define their sexuality as whatever they want it to be when they come out, but will obviously lean towards both of them at least having previous interest in women. Louis could be like “yeah I always thought I was straight but I did some soul searching and realised I’m gay” and harry could stick with the assumption held by the GP already that he is bi, or say something similar to the above.
I assume option A is how things are gonna go, because B links too closely to C and doesn’t line up with the current narrative of them being weirdos on opposite sides of the planet to each other at all times lol. Ideally, option C would be extremely satisfying and would give both of them incredible PR, and bring S*mon and co to their knees, but that truly depends on what H and L think they wanna do, and how big of a war they wanna keep fighting.
Hear me out here now… I’ve talked about multiple ways to end bbg in the past, but what if Louis was just like.. a sperm donor? Very early on in bbg there was a theory that B was a surrogate for H and L, but that definitely doesn’t add up. This theory, however, would require louis to come out at the same time as bbg ending, all in one go, and it also keeps F as his son which isn’t ideal, but separates him more from it in terms of sexuality. But hear me out… what if there was a headline that looked like this?
“Louis Tomlinson announces he donated his sperm in generous act for good friend B whose long term partner struggled with fertility issues”
While this headline looks a bit funny to us, I think the GP won’t question it thaaaaat much. His direct non larrie fans would, because they have seen AOTV, they’ve seen louis call F his son multiple times, but… in this narrative, he IS his son, he’s just not having sex with women because he’s gay lol, and he’s just a sweet guy, ya know? And things could be broken down a little like:
“Tomlinson, 32, says that he loves F and was happy to help B out as he’d always wanted to be a father himself, but has announced to the world just this morning, that he is in fact gay.”
It’s frustrating because in a way, it ends bbg, but it also keeps F connected to Louis to a degree. Ugh. Idk. But that is how you would ensure that the GP don’t have proof that louis has had vaginal sex anymore.
To your point about harry and louis doing a tell all, it would rock the music industry like crazy. Imagine it!!! There would be a million other celebs wanting to come out and share their stories of how badly they’re treated too, and people would be on Larry’s side. It would be powerful. It would help stop what happened to them, happen to other young gay kids. And it would ruin S*mons life, which I love. But… I think a tell all will happen, but not for a long time. I would love it to happen now, trust me I would, but I feel they’re still in too much of a sticky situation with bbg and Harry’s stunts.
I think larry see what we say, they love that we know, and they care a lot about us. But truly I think they’d love to show the world their true colours. Harry’s dancing with pride flags and is MUCH more free now in expressing himself, and I think he would actually wait for louis to be in a position where they can come out together, to take the heat off just one of them doing it. I think they’d love to walk down the street and hold hands and be cute, because they were told for so many years they couldn’t. And being told you can’t, makes you really want to. So I think they’ll do it together, and I think they want to. In saying this though, I do agree with the theory that they decided to put coming out on the back burner for a little bit while they enjoyed their tours and let the dust settle a bit after so much happening, and are just enjoying their private love life while they’re older and have a bit more freedom. But they’ll come back with a vengeance, and they’ll come out together. I’m sure of it xx
(Also sorry I totally rambled)
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ramonag-if · 2 years ago
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I really feel bad for the MC, especially when they refuse to acknowledge Rana and Danzor.
It's subtle, but the way Salyra acts in response is telling. She's quick to jump to their defense to fight for them. Its off putting because I absolutely believe she would side with Danzor over the MC.
She's just so dismissive of the MC. Like, she says she understands why the MC is upset, but she really doesn't. She's quick to start crying, which is very disarming when used in the face of MCs anger.
I really think she's in denial about the situation, and it starts with this weird savior complex she has. Like she hooked up with a man to have a mixed culture/race baby and then went through a ritual to magically imbue them with divinity to stop a war?
And she ACTUALLY believed that would work! Nevermind going against the expressed wishes of the childs father. But no, Salyra knew what was best. I think when this plan failed she was disappointed. Maybe in the years without the MC it was a relief. After all, it's true the people hated MC. But they hated Ahlf for keep the kid as well.
I don't think Salyra really wanted to keep living despised like that. The MC is like this nebulous halfbreed anchor that is universally hated. And any associated parent would also be hated.
My problem with her is that she doesn't seem to think critically about her actions. She can't even twenty plus years later really reflect on how the MC may have lived.
Your kid is half Ishari. Your people are currently despised and you thought raising your kid in a place where they were the only Ishari around was going to be good.
If she's not being willfully ignorant of the situation, she has to be the most thougtlesss person in existence.
And the MC is right. She did abandon them. So Ahlf wrote some letters saying don't come back and such. So you just gave up? Probably didn't hurt Danzor was wooing you, and then you got pregnant, and you moved on.
She also abandoned her mom and brother. After leaving the MC did she try and look for them at all? You just let them think you were probably dead for years?
That's too cruel. Salyra makes choices that hurt others. It's not even like she has to make these choices. She just picks the most ridiculous option possible all the time. When the MC calls her out, she weaponizes them tears quick.
And I feel bad for Danzor too. You really were the last option. Its pathetic how they try and make it seem like love happened in a storm.
Naw, nobody wanted anything to do with Salyra and Danzor had been carrying a torch. She ended up with him because no one else would have her. And the MC is right, she won't abandon them because then she really would have nowhere to return too.
Salyra didn't leave the MC with Ahlf because she didn't want them anymore 😋 She did it because she was fleeing the Blood Guard. For the first few months after Ahlf left, Salyra was living in the Temple of Ehulla with the MC. After a while, she was told that she could send the MC away to live with her Vinia family, let them get adopted by anyone else who wasn't aware of their heritage or she would have to leave the temple.
Salyra chose to leave and moved back to her now abandoned family home and lived with the MC up until she fled to Ahlf in the prologue. For the next 10 years or so, the Blood Guard were tracking her (and others who were the face of the rebellion) so Salyra was always on the run. It's valid to feel abandoned by her actions, but she never willingly gave up the MC because she wanted to get rid of her past.
I'm not sure if you realise that Ahlf hid her letters from the MC 🤔😅 He played a bigger role in keeping Salyra and the MC apart and a part of it was done in spite. She did want to get the MC back but at the same time, Ahlf did let Salyra believe that the MC was well and happy.
Danzor and Salyra were childhood sweethearts that broke up when the war started. Danzor left to follow his brother into war and in his absence, Salyra met Ahlf and things quickly developed. He always loved her and he was the only one who was there for her when she returned to Ishari without the MC. It could be seen as pathetic that he's so lovesick, but keep in mind that if the MC messed up that badly, most likely the ROs would be the same way with them 😋
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3dartblade · 1 year ago
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There were too few options and too many heretics.
We ran out of men and the heretics were gaining on us. If they got to the ruins of the church they could've set up camp there and reinforce the building. That would've been the end of us. So I did the only thing left to do. I ordered an Eversor Assassin to be dropped there. 30 long minutes of our soldiers slowly dying off one by one were to pass before it would arrive. I told them to hang in there, that reinforcements will soon arrive.
One of the soldiers told me about his daughter and that he will live through this for her. That he won't let his daughter grow up without a father. I told him he has to hold the position until reinforcements arrive for that to happen. I was trained to handle these situations, to say and do whatever I need to keep my men's morale up and keep them as effective in the fight as possible. I said what I had to, to make that happen.
Finally, the drop pod landed, stunning both the heretics and our soldiers for a moment. The pods sides and it's top flung off at high speeds leaving only the ice exposed. As the Eversor Assassin, pumped full of drugs and implants, started to defrost, despite my training, for a moment I felt bad for lying to that soldier.
The assassin, after only a few seconds, fully defrosted. Nor the enemy, nor our soldiers saw anything because of the dust cloud left by the pod being dropped. Whoever it attacked first would only see a red light within the dust before being cut in half.
After only a few seconds, chaos ensued. The assassin indiscriminately murdered everyone accompanied by a loud shriek. It moved at such speed that one would be killed before realising what just happened. People started shooting at it, but thanks to all the drugs and implants, it had the reaction time to evade every single bullet while still ripping out someone's heart.
After a few minutes of pure chaos and brutality only the assassin remained, having murdered all of the heretics but also all of our soldiers. Soon enough, it collapsed and died due to all the drugs and implants poisoning and cooking it from the inside. Don't think it wasn't dying until now, it was kept alive only by it's thirst for brutality and murder. But now that noone was left to murder, it gave up and finally died. Only silence remained. A sound that would signal the end of the fight.
I did the only thing I could. There were too few options and too many heretics.
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(This story is, in part, based on assumption and may not be lore accurate)
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wittybibliophile · 22 days ago
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S-Day!💖
I love this one. Liam tells her what sophie means to him and its absolute wonderful. "Sophie Marie Mitchell, i would like to announce first and foremost that i have never known someone as incredible as you. When i met you almost four years ago i had no idea you would pop back up in my life years later, acting and looking the way you did. I'm not one to believe in fate or destiny for that matter. But seeing you at the gala, fuck if i'd believe in anything for you. Literally anything. When you talked to me about the stars and the sky, i knew i had to spend more time with you. The girl whose eyes twinkle as bright as the very things she loves to watch. And while you were busy staring up at the vast nothingness, i'd watch you while envying the damn sky. A sky for fuck's sake. But at the time, I didn't realize i wanted you to look at me that way. With unconditional love. The more time i spent with you, the more i fell, but i was too stupid to realise it for what it was. I was scared to let someone in after seeing what my brother went through, but there you were, not taking no for an answer. You challenged me in every way. You gave me all of you while i hid behind a mask, and with that, i let you down. It's something i never want to do again for the rest of my life. At least not without heaps of make-up sex and apologies because i want to be a man you can count on. One who is worthy of your affection, i love yous, and orgasms. I love you so fucking much. I never want to go another day without saying it or a moment without you knowing it. Fuck friends with benefits. Give me all the damn benefits, love included because i'm a stupid fucker for thinking i could let you walk away from me. I researched all about stars. And the funny thing was how i thought you were my star, a bright spot in my life keeping me constant company no matter how dark everything else got. But in reality, we are stars because they are born in pairs. They are created by a fucking boom of dust and shit, forming into something beautiful and eternal. You are stuck with me for life because we're a duo. I love you. For meeting me where i was at and helping grow into who i am. For never giving up no matter how many times i shut you down. And for showing me what it feels like to love someone else and be loved in return in all the ways that count, even when you weren't an option, you showed me with everything in you. I love you from your dirty brains to the tips of your ridiculously expensive sneakers". - Collided (Lauren Asher) Xoxo, Ironically Witty!
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thurisazsalail · 28 days ago
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I don't really have people to show stuff I made while sick this week. There's very few, small groups locally, but I can't access most of them for lack of transport, and I'm too unreliable from chronic illness to join the nearby one.
Kind of laughable, so many people who freaked out when COVID started, lamenting the isolation. Heh. I'm a queer autistic jew who ran a pagan shop in fundie floriduh. Who became increasingly disabled while constantly battling poverty. Isolation? I have been shown almost nothing but isolation for my entire life. I'm too weird, too gay, too sick to have friends. Most of the people I thought I was social with stopped talking to me the minute it became too inconvenient. And of course, autism and a warped idea of "how to do friends" meant that these people never gave a fuck anyways. For me, it's a rare interpersonal connection. For them, I'm an entourage. A stupid, nonsensical, "eccentric" entourage member, but at least one more person to make them feel important. The alternative is that I'm the Safe Friend (meaning that they don't need to take care of themselves; I can do it! Like a second mom but not their mother!) Or I'm the Smart One, so they don't need to learn things or take responsibility. I can take control in the absence of structure. They care about what I do for them, not about anything going on in my life.
I think I've had maybe a few people in my entire life that I thought were okay. One died long ago. I didn't realise I'd counted how many days, until it came up a few months ago. Two have pretty bad BPD. Sometimes I wonder how much of keeping me around is because they actually like me, or if the bulk is a personality disorder talking. ... but I can't bring myself to engineer any scenario to... i don't know. Solidify my importance? Keep them from finding themselves, their own worth? Strength in their own desires, legitimacy with their own needs?
I saw some short reel on IG about a therapist talking about how isolation is worse than outright denigration in her autistic patients. Maybe this is why dissociation is so frequent. The option to "fit in" is to go back to being a character. Never lose character. Never lose your character. If you are Red Reddington onscreen, you are never allowed to be James Spader.
Maybe that's why so many autistic people become actors.
And why so many actors are said to have the crisis of not knowing who they are.
Nobody fucking cares who you are. They want the character.
Another IG autism activist argued that only autistic people should play autistic characters. Bless her sweet 20-something year old heart.
Between *her own posts* about the frequency of autism (like 1 in 65ish people) and how self-dx is valid (when done seriously, not some idiot on tiktok saying social anxiety = autism) how exactly does she not think Hollywood isn't full of autistic people?
How exactly should one prove themselves Autistic Enough for a role? Retroactively, is an actor who says they're autistic required to prove it via official diagnosis? So what about validity of self-dx?
Should actors have to out themselves as autistic to be allowed to work- and in a country where we can lose custody of our kids, be be forcibly incarcerated, lose our civil rights, and be targeted for being autistic, is it moral and ethical to demand?
Is anyone else old enough to remember this EXACT argument about gay people in Hollywood, and how the (straight) guys from Brokeback Mountain were hazed and publicly derided for months, how tabloids released article after article about proving their straightness? Where actual gay people were outed? Does anyone remember "the blue power ranger" and what happened to him?
Do y'all not think anyone in Hollywood is/was gay before 2015?
Do none of you see the parallels with autistic actors, MANY of whom are mogai/LGBTQIA?
Why am I the Asshole for pointing these things out?
Why is it that people think that Feeling Bad is worse than being told to examine their own motivations or proposals? The problem clearly isn't (isolation/social barriers/arbitrary and often harmful demands.) The REAL Bad Guy is whoever makes you Feel Bad about having to question or pull apart motivations.
I feel so fucking old.
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emowidowxd · 10 months ago
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I told you I loved you to early, I got ghosted.
We moved in together to soon, I got left in an empty room.
I spent the money I got for Christmas to get you a Christmas present, you broke up with me while I was giving it to you. I haven’t given a partner a present since.
I tried my hardest to take you at face value and believe the things you said, but I just kept finding out more.
At pineacres I gave you my last $20 while I was struggling, you called me later that night to let me know you had fucked jordy.
I called you and begged you to come home and look for Charlie with me, I did everything I could to find him till this day I still look and you still look me in the eye and say you think I did it.
You cheated on me and tried to leave, I begged and fought for you to stay, you called me abusive and controlling.
I kept dropping you off presents every time we were split up and weed whenever you asked, you smoked it with other guys and would argue and block me the same day.
We moved back in together multiple times, every time you would leave me a few days later but I kept getting places with you thinking this time might be different.
Even when split up, I have been fiercely protective of you, you have actively tried to get me kicked out, jumped, fired and god knows what else.
I got threatened and begged you to take steps to keep yourself safe. Youv actually given people my address.
I lent you $400 and made you PROMISE that no matter what happened between us you would pay it back because it was savings for my teeth, still haven’t seen it.
I gave you a pc then immediately was put in a position that I had to pawn mine, then immediately after that we fought and you left too. I was left with no pc and no friend.
I tried to change how I dealt with things. I didn’t want to be abusive or controlling. So I stopped reacting. You called me emotionless and uncaring. You told me constantly “if you wanted to you would”
I might see other people when we aren’t an option but I have never picked anyone over you. You are constantly making it clear that you’re craving someone that isn’t me. Then constantly talking about my disloyalty.
I used to think that because I lucid dreamed you fucking Ben that we were connected in some spiritual way and I was just meant to let you live and learn and love you through those things and eventually it would all work out.
I’m now realising that I was shown that to teach me a lesson, and when I failed to acknowledge that lesson the universe brung you back around as a wife to show me again.
I will never accept a half way love ever again.
A love that is only reciprocated when shown.
A love that is constantly searching for a source of more love from elsewhere.
I was taught that when you put someone on a pedestal they look down on you.
Respect isn’t earned, it’s either there or it’s not.
And if you try to fill an empty heart with your love, it will take it all and then ask for more.
So thanks teach’ ✌️
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