#i don't know if this has already been written but i have about ten lines of this shit 😔😔

[ellecdc]

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing, I’ve binged like all of your fics 😂. If possible could you do maybe a poly!moonwater x reader where said reader maybe gets hurt (maybe someone says something negative about Remus and she gets hurt defending him?) I just absolutely adore your moonwater fics! And when Barty gets involved is hilarious. thank you so much! No pressure if you don’t feel the Inspo for it!

I've not written for moonwater in a while, so this was a sweet treat! thanks for your request, lovie <3

poly!moonwater x gn!reader who defends Remus' honour

CW: Snape's a wanker in this and we hand his ass to him for it [sorry to my Snape apologists out there - don't hate me!], alluding to blood but no actual mention of it? small injury to hand, Regulus sharing Sirius' DNA trait for mischief

You sucked in a pained breath through your teeth which was quickly replicated by your boyfriend in some sort of weird comradery.

“I know, I know; I’m sorry dove.” Remus murmured softly as he continued dabbing gently at the broken skin on your knuckles. 

“S’not your fault.” You mumbled petulantly as you tried to ignore the stinging of every swipe he made; the once pristine white cloth now quite decorated in red. 

Remus snorted as he eyed you pointedly before affixing his gaze back to your hands. “It sounds as if it sort of was.” 

It was your turn to snort as you glared at the wall behind Remus as if it had been the one making derogatory comments in the halls a mere ten minutes ago. “You’re not the wanker who was begging to be punched.”

Remus shook his head in admonishment, but you could feel the [painful] puffs of air dancing across your open wounds as he breathed out a laugh. “He’s going to be furious, you know?”

Remus didn’t clarify who he was, but he didn’t need to. “Yeah well, if you would bloody hurry up and cast an episkey on this already, he’d never have to know.” You taunted only half teasingly [and half very nervously about how long it was taking to close up the few scrapes lining your hands from your minor scuffle]. 

Unfortunately, he walked in through the door before Remus had finished patching you up.

“What in the bloody hells is this I’m hearing about a brawl between you and Snape?” Regulus demanded with a stoney face as he stalked towards your form; face falling as your hands came into his view.

“Amour! What in Salazar’s name- On dirait que tu as combattu un nundu.” 

“Okay, well, I think that’s a little dramatic.” You deflected quickly at the insinuation that you walked away from a fight with a nundu with nothing but a few cuts and scrapes to your knuckles to show for it.

“Dramatic?” Regulus drawled as he levelled you with an unimpressed look. “I’m not the one who jumped another student in the hallways after Potions! And Snape of all people; you know to ignore his usual drivel, amour.”

You shared a guilty look with Remus who gave you a sad smile. 

“It wasn’t the usual drivel, Reg.” Remus offered, causing Regulus’ breath to leave him which he had at the ready, no doubt, to continue his admonishment. 

“I didn’t think that sod had the brain cells left to come up with anything new.” He offered noncommittally, causing Remus to snort a laugh. “Still, sweetheart; I’d really prefer you just ignore him.”

“So I’m just supposed to ignore a tosser who has the audacity to speak about my, quote, half-blood half-breed freak and his blood-traitor servants who he no doubt imperio’d to be with him?” You challenged; tone both soft yet firm as you looked at Regulus imploringly. 

Regulus stood there staring back at you before you noticed his jaw tighten. “Bâtard.” He spat as he looked down to where Remus was sitting on a footstool in front of you as he finished wrapping your hands. 

“He’s just jealous that he can’t find one person to put up with his black hair and brooding personality, let alone two.” 

“Did Regulus Black just make…not only a joke, but a joke at his own expense?” You teased as you kicked one of your feet out at him, only for him to catch you by the ankle and run his thumb over your ankle bone. 

“Of course I did; I’m hilarious.” Regulus agreed in monotone causing both you and Remus to chuckle. 

“You’re all fixed up, dovey.” Remus announced as he stood, bending to press a kiss on your head before pressing one to Regulus’ too. “No more fights at my expense, okay?”

“Can I fight at Regulus’ expense?” 

“No.” Both boys chorused, though Remus pointed at himself as he nodded and mouthed “tell me first”. 

“So, where can I find Snape now?” Regulus asked as he dropped your ankle, earning him unimpressed looks from both of you. “What? I’m not going to go find him, I just need to tell Barty where he can find him.”

“Junior doesn’t give a niffler’s arse about what Snape has to say about me, Reggie.” Remus admonished as he leaned against the headboard of his four poster bed. 

“Perhaps not.” Regulus agreed readily before his gaze moved to meet yours; the horrifying glimmer of mischief present in his icy grey eyes sending shivers down your spine. “But he will care to know that his precious Treasure lost blood over that foul git.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” You hissed.

But Regulus had already turned on his heel and was rushing out of the marauder’s dorm room; as you stood to chase him, two arms wrapped an iron grip around your middle and pulled you flush to his chest. 

“No more fights, dovey.” Remus murmured into your neck as he pulled you back into his bed with him.

“I’d only be fighting our sodding boyfriend! You know I’d win!” You whined petulantly, though your body traitorously melted into Remus’ frame as he nuzzled impossibly further into your neck. 

“No more fighting.” He repeated.

So you acquiesced; you stopped fighting and fully allowed yourself to be cuddled by your half-blood half-breed boyfriend that you were so unbelievably and willingly in love with.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Playlist Love | Jungkook | Slow Down | Chase Atlantic

Play it again...and again and again and again.

Summary: Jungkook's party isn't exactly how he had envisioned spending his birthday so sneaking out with you was the only way he wanted to end his night. Based off of Chase Atlantic's discography. Specifically 'Slow Down', 'OHMAMI', 'HEAVEN AND BACK', 'Meddle About', 'Friends', 'Now' and I think that's it 😅 Pairing: Sunshine f!reader x Grumpy Jungkook established relationship (Written in Jungkook's pov) Word Count: 4k~ Warnings: Smut smut and more smut and explicit language ofc cuz it's Chase Atlantic. Jungkook is low-key a dick and hates everyone but has a very soft spot for the reader.

The music that seemed deafening on arrival has become nothing but a hum in the back of my mind, vision focused only on her. Watching the way she speaks, the way she smiles and specifically how tempting she looks in that dress.

"Aye birthday boy, you wanna beer?" one of the many guys who suddenly thinks they're my best friend tonight asks yet again. "Nah man I'm good" I say, scooting over when he goes to sit on the couch next to me, now stuck between him and the couple who have been sucking face for the past ten minutes.

This party although for me hasn't entertained me in the slightest. It's harsh to say but when my best friend is the one who decides to throw it it's more or less just another one of his usual ragers that have become less and less my style since I left college.

"That your girl?" the guy who's name I haven't bothered to learn asks, following my line of sight to her, dancing in a circle of girls that are just as intoxicated as she is, if not more.

"Yeah, she's mine" I mumble, loving the way those words taste on my tongue. "Nice" he drags out, clearly overcompensating for guy talk. He's drunk though so I guess I can't expect an original or coherent thought to come out of him.

As I tune out whatever else he's saying I opt to listen to the lyrics of a familiar song I've heard her play ad nauseam when we're together and I realize I had never fully digested what they're saying.

I don't know if you already know how But girl, I got the feeling that you know now You're buried in the pillow, yeah, you're so loud But I'm about to show you, baby, slow down

Visions of her with her face buried in a pillow entertain me. Back arched and ass up, the pleasure too much yet not enough, begging me to go faster but all I do is slow down. Pressing down between her shoulder blades to muffle her cries of protest since she's being way too fucking loud. Nothing stoping me from keeping a slow stroke going, denying her her release again and again until she's broken.

"Aye Jungkook" the guy calls out, knocking me out of my fantasy and bringing me back to reality.

"What?" I answer curtly, already sexually frustrated from those thoughts alone, leaving me ticked off. "That guy is trying to make a move on your girl" he say. My eyes although hadn't left her, fogged over with the illusion my twisted mind had created leaving me blind to the pitiful interaction in front of me.

I get up from the couch wordlessly and stalk towards the dance floor, weaving through the crowd haphazardly just to get to her and once I do I grab her wrist and pull on it a bit, making her stumble, her back now pressed up against my chest.

"Who's this?" I whisper in her ear, showing a sense of intimacy enough to make the man who had clear plans with her in mind uncomfortable.

She giggles at the ticklish feeling and leans into me once she's realize who it is. "Oh um, I dunno" her speech cutely slurred making me laugh at how much she actually didn't care to learn anything about him.

"Oh! Um what's your name?" she asks, no doubt feeling a little embarrassed and asking just to clumsily remedy the situation. "Jake" he replies dryly, sizing me up now instead of paying attention to her, knowing that he's lost the battle and the war.

"Well Jake, I suggest you find another girl" I say, turning her around so her focus is on me but in true drunk y/n fashion she never wants anyone to be left on a bad note. "It was nice meeting you" she says over her shoulder, his eyes going between her and I, my eyes in response wordlessly telling him to walk away and he does, eyeing the crowd to find another girl who might bother giving him the time of day.

"Hi Koo" she say happily, running her hands up my biceps and shoulders before locking her fingers behind my neck, trapping me in her hold. "Hi baby" I say softly, caressing her face for a second and noticing how warm she's gotten.

"You wanna come sit?" I nod my head towards the area I just came from, the couple from before gone, no doubt getting that room they should've gotten half an hour ago. "No, dance with me" she slurs, dragging out the first word, pulling me closer to make a point. My hands now placed on her hips while she gets lost in the music again.

Girl, just scream it out Tell me what you're thinking No, I wanna see you undress now I wanna hear you confess now

"You having fun" I ask, amused at how adorable she's acting, a dazed giggly mess. "Mhm so much fun. Are you?" she asks, not wanting to be the only one of us enjoying ourselves since technically it is still my party. "I am but I'd rather get outta here" I confess, having had fun at the beginning but this past hour or two has been excruciating, nursing my water to make sure I'm good to drive us home while watching her tease me without even knowing it.

"But my friends just got here" she says, gesturing to some people who had been here for long enough. "All of your friends have been here for so long. Which means we've been here for way too long " I argue and she shakes her head before realizing how bad of an idea that is, clearly having made herself dizzy from the way she stumbled, resigning to a pout instead.

"Don't look at me like that" I chuckle, kissing her pouty lips which she responds to right away, her clumsy kisses tasting like the many drinks she's had tonight. "What are my friends gonna think if we leave so early? It's your birthday" she asks, not realizing it's well past two am.

"I'm sorry to say this babe but I don't give a fuck about your friends right now" I whisper in her ear, my words making her shiver. "I'm sure what I've got to offer you tonight is a lot better than what they can give" I say, kissing her neck to prove my point leaving her humming in contentment.

"Lemme finish up my bottle then we'll g-go" she says and I chuckle while pulling back to look at her. "Do you even know where it is?" I cock a brow and when she opens her mouth to respond her brows soon furrow in confusion. "That's what I thought" I say and when she goes to protest I cut her off.

"You're not drinking what's in that fucking bottle y/n even if you did find it" and she closes her mouth, her pupils dilating just the slightest bit telling me that she's fully ready to listen now.

"Go get your stuff" I say patting her ass twice before spinning her around and encouraging her to lead the way. She refused to give me her things at the beginning of the night, claiming she needed her lipstick or whatever so she better know where it is or we're leaving without it.

I don't have time to fuck around right now when I notice how high her dress had ridden up her thighs, leaving me following very close behind.

She finds her purse and double checks for her phone that's luckily in there too and before she can start saying goodbye to anyone I'm dragging her out of the house. "You guys sneaking out of your own party?" one of the guys who's smoking a cigarette by the front door asks.

"Yeah can you tell everyone we left? If they even bother to notice" I ask, helping her clumsily walk down the front porch steps. "I'll tell em, Happy Birthday dude" he says and at that we're walking to my car with y/n slurring out a goodbye for the both of us.

"Why do you wanna go home early?" she pouts, dragging out the last syllable while I help her down into the passenger seat. "I don't like partying like that anymore. Plus it's already two am so I'm pretty sure we've stayed long enough" I inform her but she's still not one hundred percent convinced.

"But it's your birthday! I thought we were gonna take an Uber home?" she asks, now confused and a little concerned. "I stopped drinking a couple hours ago so I'm fine. I'd never put my girl in danger like that" I assure her, caressing her cheek for a second when she leans into my touch, retracting it and putting her seatbelt on a moment later.

"You okay?" I ask, checking her out...for safety reasons of course, but those bare thighs are making it so much harder to keep my thoughts to myself. "I should've let you have fun" she sighs, regretting not offering to be the DD this time.

"It's okay baby, let's just get home yeah?" I say and she nods, her lips still very much pouted in remorse for her choices. "Better suck that lip back into your mouth or I'll make you suck something else" I warn and she listens right away, knowing I'll make good on my promise and I smile when I see her rubbing her thighs together. "Good girl" I rasp and close her door before rounding the car to my side.

~~~~~

"Did you have a good birthday?" she asks after we've been driving on the highway for a while, taking sips from the water I bought her. "It's not over yet" I smile, looking over and seeing she's starting to sober up...barely. "But it's past midnight" she says and I shake my head. "It's not over yet since I still haven't gotten to unwrap my gift yet" I say scanning her body but she tilts her head at me.

"But I already gave you your present" she says, brows furrowed and completely oblivious to what I'm thinking. "Yes you did baby and it was a very nice gift but I'm not talking about that" I say, thinking she'll understand this time but with her still coming out of her drunken state she's not the sharpest tool in the shed just yet.

"What do yo-" she starts but cuts herself off when she feels my hand that's been on her thigh slide just the slightest bit higher and she flutters her lashes, sobering up just a bit more at the implications of my action.

"Is that okay with you" I ask, rubbing circles on her inner thigh to reassure her that it's her decision. We're both comfortable having drunk sex together but she knows she can always say no.

She stares down at my hand for a while, no doubt lost in a similar daze I had been in at the party not too long ago. "It's okay you don't have to answer now. Drink some more water and you can decide when we get home" I say, sliding my hand to rest just above her knee so she don't feel too much pressure.

After a couple of minutes of her contemplative silence I glance over and see that she's smiling to herself, a clear sign that we're both getting what we want tonight but I decide to take my hand off of her leg, opting to grab my phone and put on her playlist, the one that I've realized leaves nothing to the imagination.

Once we hit the first chorus I realized that this is the perfect one to get her to realize what I've been thinking about since we got in the car. From the way she changes her posture and glances over at me I know it's only a matter of time and when the second verse hits she's rubbing her thighs together again.

Bend it over slow 'cause daddy I know how you like it Backseat of the 'Rari pullin' over just to ride it

"You okay?" I ask her, noticing how she's bouncing one of her legs up and down, a usual nervous habit of hers but in this case it's to give herself some stimulation and we both know that. She nods and clears her throat to get rid of any nervous tone that no doubt would've come out of her and opts to nod.

"Okay" I smirk, going back to driving but I place my hand on her thigh again, stopping her ministrations and making her just as impatient as I've felt since that fucking song at the party...literally.

Hit one-fifty on the dash, I bent the corner Then she bent it for me sideways, uh I might have to fuck her on the highway, yeah

"Pull over" she mumbles and I smirk, thanking the artists on this song but making her say it again. "What was that? I couldn't hear you baby" I taunt, sliding my hand further up her thigh and squeezing it to reassure her since I know she's embarrassed.

"I said pull over" she commands which takes me by surprise but I do as she says, opting to take the next exit instead of the very reckless suggestion from the lyrics.

Once I get off the highway I find a secluded parking space in an otherwise completely vacant lot and turn off the car.

"What was it that you wanted to talk about?" I tease, turning my whole body to face her and the next second she's unbuckling her seatbelt and yanking on my collar to smash her lips against mine. Lips, teeth and tongue clashing, kissing each other breathless until she has to pull away, chest heaving and her bottom lip already starting to swell.

"We can wait until we get ho-" "No!" she interrupts me, her eyes opening with a glazed over look from arousal and her slightly intoxicated state. "No I wanna do this. Here. Now" she says, pulling me in for another kiss and I reciprocate it, my hands feeling for my own seatbelt to get it off of me.

I hold her face in place with one hand while the other is grabbing onto her forearm, pulling her over to to sit in my lap and when she gets the message I start pushing my seat back to make room for her but she still ends up landing her ass on the horn, making her bite my lip in surprise.

"Shhh" I chuckle, guiding her hips to sit on my lap instead, "You sure you're okay?" I tease, sliding my hands up her bare thighs, my fingers just barely slipping under the hem of her dress in case she says no.

She wanna fuck me, okay? She wanna know how it tastes

"Yes" she groans, clearly frustrated with me asking her again, shutting up any questions of doubt when she starts to unbuckle my belt.

"Someone's extremely impatient huh?" I say while she unbuttons my jeans, leaning back in my seat and lifting my hips for her so she can slide my jeans and boxers down, spitting on her hand afterwards and wrapping her hand around my dick, stroking it up and down at a lazy pace and taking control.

I hum and lay back, my eye half lidded and watching her as she takes special care to pay attention to what she's doing. "Feel so good" I encourage her, wanting to get her attention so she'll look at me, her lashes fluttering before she does, her bottom lip between her teeth from concentrating too hard.

"Come here" I say, caressing her face and tugging her lip free before kissing her, this time at a slower more sensual pace that matches the way her hand is stroking my length up and down, up and down.

"Fuck you're so good to me" I curse when her thumb runs along my tip, pulling away from her lips and kissing down her jaw to pepper kisses along the column of her neck, sucking marks into her skin when her hand tightens on my length and starts picking up the pace.

I groan against her skin and bite down to muffle the sound of any others coming after that but once I get too close I tell her to stop. "S-shit wait, wait" I say and she does, taking her hand off and looking at me, concern written on her face but I clear my throat and answer the question that's clearly written all over her face.

"Wanna fuck you" I say and slide my hand all the way up her dress, going to press against her clit and realizing there's no barrier. "You're not wearing anything under this?" I ask, raising my brow and getting the answer myself when I'm able to put a finger inside her. 

I pump it in and out until she starts to ride my fingers, adding another one but making her do the work. She shakes her head, resting both of her hands on my shoulders to keep her balance.

"T-took them off when you got me the w-water" she stutters, admitting to what she did when I went inside of the gas station. "You little minx" I chuckle, adding another finger and making her clench around them, a yelp coming out of her when she sinks back down, not expecting the stretch just yet.

"Thought it would be easier for when we got h-home" she explains, the innocence in her tone contradicting the way she's using my fingers to get off. "You we're trying to make it easier for me to fuck this pussy as soon as we got home. Didn't know you were as eager to get fucked as I was to fuck you" I hum, loving the way I've trained my girl.

I take my fingers out of her and she whimpers in protest. "Patience Princess" I scold, grabbing her hips so she'll hover over my length, taking one hand off to help line up with her entrance. She looks at me and my eyes flicker down to where she's hovering and when she starts to lower herself down she rests her forehead against mine, squeezing her eyes shut while her nails dig into my shoulders.

She lets out a whine and I can tell that the stretch is starting to burn from the way her walls are sucking me in. I hiss when she clenches around me, sensitive from denying myself of an orgasm in favor of prepping her to fuck sooner.

"It's okay baby, s-slow down" I stutter, nudging my nose against hers and grabbing her hips to stabilize her, gripping them so hard that my fingers will have left bruises for her to see in the morning. Her breathing is shaky when she takes in more, her pussy wrapped around my dick like it was made for me. 

"Just like that, doing so good for me" I say, brows pinched together when she clenches around me again, praise always having this effect on her. "Gonna be good and ride me on your own or you want me to help you?" I ask, tilting her chin up since her eyes have been focused on where we're connected, me being balls deep inside of her while she controls her breathing until she's comfortable. 

"Wanna be g-good" she stutter, her hands bracing herself on my shoulders before lifting her hips a bit, sinking back down on me before repeating the motion, her movements getting more bold as she finds her rhythm. 

Her tits bounce in front of me, adding another layer to this erotic scene but I need to get this dress off of her so I can see them, the top part basically slipping off already because of the strapless nature and the rumbled state it's in from not having more space to move around.

I slide it down and immediately place my mouth on one of her tits, grabbing the other one and toying with her nipple making her yelp in surprise, her mind focused on keeping a steady rhythm and forgetting that I'm able to explore her body while she does so. 

"It's okay baby keep going. Doing such a good job riding me" I coach her, placing a kiss on her open mouth, her face looking so fucked out already. "Fuck you're gorgeous" I groan, pulling her back into a deeper kiss, her gasping against my lips when I buck my hips into her.

"J-jungkook" she stutters, my name sounding so forbidden on her lips, little sounds of pleasure following, soon replaced with sounds of frustration. "Does baby want some help now?" I ask, running my thumb along her bottom lip, her lip gloss replaced with the swollen color sucked into it. 

She nods her head and shyly admits her need for me to take over, the sight endearing if she didn't have my cock buried deep inside her.

Gripping her hips again and urging her to move I lend my strength to keep the momentum going leaving both of us unable to hold back sounds of ecstasy. The squelching sound from the way her dripping wall suck me in making it hard for me to keep going. 

The thoughts of my cum dripping out of her and making an even bigger mess as she rides me being too close...too attainable to hold back for much longer. 

"Just like that, you're doing so well. Riding me and giving me such a pretty view. The only gift I fucking care about" I curse, the sight of her with her mascara running and her lashes damp from the pleasure being too much for her, mouth letting out unrestrained moans as she gets closer being just enough for me to hit that climax. 

"Baby you c-close? Fuck" I groan feeling her clench again, the sensation almost being my undoing. She nods her head and smashes her lips against mine, bringing me into a sloppy uncoordinated kiss, making me swallow her moans as the both of us finally come undone. Pleasure washing over us in waves as her walls flutter around me, the feeling of my cum dripping out of her being so disgustingly forbidden it's making me want more of her again. 

"Did so good for me" I soothe while rubbing her back as she lays against my chest, her mind no doubt still up on cloud nine from the way I felt her body reacting to me. "Made me feel so good" I whisper, kissing her temple and waiting for her to come back down to earth. 

"Baby?" I ask while feeling her relax into me, nuzzling her face into my neck. She hums in response before sitting up, making me hiss from the sensation, still sensitive from how well she rode me, my dick still very much buried inside of her. 

"You ready to go home?" I ask, wiping off some of the black tears that have almost slowed to a stop off her cheeks. She hum again and starts to fix her dress, getting off my lap and making herself whine from the loss of feeling full.

I tuck myself back into my jeans and then reach into the backseat and grab the hoodie I had back there and place it on her lap. She smiles sheepishly and slips it over her head, her body now enveloped in my scent with hers still very much all over me.

"Drink some more water" I say, picking up the bottle I got her so she can hydrate some more after the number she did on me. I put her seatbelt on her while she does as I ask, making sure she's fully secure before I fix my seat and put mine on as well. 

"How do you feel about your birthday now?" she rasps once we've gotten back on the highway, a lazy smile on her face while she admires me. "Like I said...it's not over yet"

Series masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater (Rest of the tags are in the reblogs 💜)

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[illumnis]

finish line. — you and alhaitham are not friends, far from it. you're not exactly lovers either; so why does he decide to take ten steps back and settle for aquaintances?

pairing: alhaitham x gn!reader

warnings: kinda toxic? idk to each and their own, he's just really emotionally ignorant, mentions of non-sexual nudity, angst, unedited

note: look what i'm back with (i am so sorry this is bad,,, i haven't written in AGES), also happy summer i am officially not a highschooler anymore!

alhaitham is efficient. he decides what is considered more work than necessary and greatly succeeds with the basic necessities. this also means that alhaitham has every intention to finish what he starts and only starts what he knows he can finish.

alhaitham also holds your hand so you can fall asleep at night despite the nightmares that plague your imagination, but he leaves before you can wake up. alhaitham helps you scrub away the finely ground sand off of your sweaty body after a research project done on the dunes residing in the sumerian desert, even allowing you to do the same to him, but he always rejects your offer to cook him dinner afterwards in celebration of the grueling excursion. alhaitham whispers how you're devastatingly beautiful as he washes your hair without care if you hear him or not, but he can't bring himself to help you dry it.

for once in his life, alhaitham has started something he can't bring himself to finish.

he wonders why you're bitter all of a sudden. how you can't bring yourself to look at him in the eyes anymore, how you walk a step behind him instead of a linked pace, how you don't let him touch your hair anymore, how you don't invite him over or ask if you can tag along on his journeys to the desert.

you're avoiding him and he blames his irritation on the fact that friends aren't supposed to brush each other off.

you're not entirely sure when the two of you started treading the line between acceptable and having alhaitham push you away, but the unspoken agreement was that this was all it was going to be. you're not like alhaitham. often times, you walk the world on your terms, which must be why you now found yourself on the opposing side of the agreement.

who can blame you? he's seen you, flesh and bone. under your clothes and to your heart. he's seen you, your rampant imagination, both the good and the bad parts. he's seen you most vulnerable, stating that even this side of you is worth adoring.

the waiting game was a exhausting one, even before, you knew he'd be the last person to bring your... situation with him up; which is why you settle for slowly stretching the strings of your relationship until they snap, and you never have to look back.

or that was at least the idea until you were crying behind the akademiya over an offhanded comment that your least favourite professor had made about you. he was there, somehow he always is, and he was holding you. his warmth was the same as it had been since you had last invited him over, which only made you cry more. had your absence not frosted his heart over at least a little?

by the time you're done crying, you are no longer in his arms and he looks at you with a mixture of hurt and comfort. something vengeful in you is satisfied that you have given him a taste of how he leaves you.

"i'll always be here when you need me, yn, regardless of if you choose to stop being acquainted with me or not."

somehow, his reassuring words do the opposite and the vengeful spirit in you grows.

"then why can't you let me need you all the time? what's stopping you from letting us rely on each other? it's not like you act like we don't already."

this seals his lips and a subtle frown paints itself over his them and something inside you aches. you have always prided yourself in being able to bring the most emotion out of him that anyone has in years. now, you are stuck with pitiful expressions; frowns nonetheless.

it's a heavy silence that takes over the atmosphere before you've decided that whether you hear his answer or not, you'll still hear your glass heart shatter. so you move to get up.

"i can't take the risk. not yet." it flows out of his mouth so naturally. almost like he's been waiting for your confrontation.

"risk? what risk, alhaitham? look at what you've started, you've already taken it," you're fuming, a new level of self-loathing filling your being at the idea of you being so naive to believe that someone who can't even call you a friend could be full of love, "either finish what you've started, or destroy it before you lose yourself in it."

alhaitham's silence elicits a scoff from your lips and you're grateful you had shaken yourself out of his touch earlier, or else you'd find yourself back at square one; forgiving him and asking once more if he'd let you make him dinner hoping his answer would be different.

you'll help him out one last time, you guess. walking away as he doesn’t spare you a glance, stuck in the position that was meant to comfort you, only for it to end whatever mess he had started.

navi. mlist.

[alchely]

My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

[lee-laurent]

Summer Boy Pt. 2 - Quinn Hughes

Summary: Quinn and Elwyn find themselves caught in a web of lies as they attempt to hide their feelings from their friends. Luke, however, still wants the girl and he's willing to overlook his morals to get her.

Content: angst, fluff, (sort of) unrequited love, mentions of sex, slut-shaming, panic attacks, luke being an ass

Part 1

notes: ok ok, you guys are amazing! i could never expect my first post to do that well! (also if you haven't seen my about me post, english is NOT my first language!! so spelling errors and stuff i try catch but i'm learning :)) i had a lot of ppl ask for a part 2, which is awesome cause i was planning on doing it regardless of how much attention the first part got! i haven't written in years, like since high school so this is me attempting to get back into it :D thank you again everyone, much love! - lee

p.s. ppl that asked for part 2 are tagged at the end :))

Quinn was infatuated with Elwyn. Everything she did was perfect in his eyes. Even when she'd get a little too drunk and trip over herself, he still thought she was graceful. If he wasn't in love with her already, then he definitely was now. And he wanted to shout him from the rooftops, he wanted everyone on the lake to know how much he loved Elwyn... however there was a small issue: his brothers.

Jack and Elwyn had been friends their entire lives. They were attached at the hip. Twin flames. Growing up adults always said they'd end up married, which both of them thought was disgusting. Sure, they'd been each others' first kiss, but after "learning" how to make out together they decided it wasn't meant to be. They could never see each other in a romantic light. Although Jack could never be with Elwyn, he had made it clear that his brothers couldn't either. Elwyn had been off limits since they were ten and Quinn gave her a puck at one of his games.

Luke. Where to start with Luke? Luke hadn't found Elwyn cute until she came to visit in Jersey after he signed. She'd walked into Jack's apartment, a smile on her face and he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. When did Elwyn get... hot? She'd always just been his older brother's best friend. Sure, he knew of the crush his eldest brother harboured, but he was positive Quinn would never act on it. Plus, she lived closer to Luke. If he could convince Jack, maybe he'd have a chance. A chance he was still begging for.

"Come on, Jack. Let me take her on one date!" Luke pleaded, following his brother around the pool table.

"No. You're my brother and I love you, but El can do way better."

"I- I'm not going to break her heart, Jack. One date."

"Maybe she doesn't want to date you," Jack shrugged, lining up his shot.

"Okay, then she'll reject me and I can move on. But we all saw her when we played beer pong."

"Don't be cocky, Rusty. El is a touchy drunk, always has been."

"So I can ask her on a date?"

"No."

Luke groaned, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Who's he not asking out?" Quinn asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Elwyn."

Quinn choked on his spit, "You want to ask out, Winnie?"

"Yeah! You've seen her. She's a smokeshow."

"Ew. Don't talk about El like that," Jack grimaced.

"I mean have you seen her ti-"

"Luke! Ew! Dude."

"Shut up, Jack. If she wasn't your best friend, you'd also think she's hot."

Quinn remained silent, watching the scene unfold. He felt gross listening to Luke talk about Elwyn like that. He'd be the first to admit she was fine as hell, but hearing someone else say it felt wrong. The two younger brothers continued to bicker about the attractiveness of the girl, when Quinn finally piped up.

"Are you letting him?"

"Letting him what?" Jack's brow furrowed.

"Ask her out."

"Hell no! Winnie is off limits for brothers."

"So if I asked her out?" Trevor smirked, joining the three brothers.

"No. That applies to friends and teammates too."

"Lame," Trevor whined, leaving to find Cole.

Jack rolled his eyes, "Anyway. No one is asking out Elwyn. She doesn't even like hockey boys."

Quinn felt his heartdrop. She doesn't like hockey boys? Was she just stringing him along cause she was horny? He thought she liked him, though she'd never explicitly said it, he thought the moments they'd shared were proof enough.

Elwyn was humming along to the song playing from her phone, while she attempted to do her hair. A knock came from the door behind her, leading to press pause on the melodies of Chappell Roan.

"Come in!"

"You don't like hockey boys?"

"Huh?" She swiveled around on her chair to face the boy in her doorway. There stood a sheepish looking Quinn, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I said, 'you don't like hockey boys?'"

"Who told you that?"

"Jack."

"Oh, um, I mean... they're not normally my type."

"So you don't like me?"

"Quinn, I didn't say that. Don't twist my words," she sighed, turning back towards the mirror.

"But you haven't said otherwise."

"Neither have you."

Quinn sighed, quietly shutting the door behind him. He stood behind her and pressed a kiss to her exposed shoulder, wrapping his arms around her.

"Elwyn, I like you. I like you a lot."

She pursed her lips and nodded, leaning back into his chest.

"I like you too, Quinn."

"Is this the part where we have the best sex of our lives?" he smirked, earning a gasp and slap to his peck.

"Quinn!"

"Sorry, sorry. So... later?"

"Get out!" she giggled, pushing him away.

Fifteen minutes later, El left her room, running straight into someone's chest.

"Oof."

"Hey, Ellie."

"Oh, hey, Luke," she smiled, stepping back.

"Some of the guys and I are gonna watch a movie, if you want to join."

"Sure."

"Sick. Basement in 10?"

"Sounds good."

However, when she got down to the basement, there were no spots left. The guys had taken up the couch and all the chairs, even the floor was occupied. El looked around awkwardly, noticing the lack of both Quinn and Jack, who she was told went to the grocery store.

"Here," Luke smiled, scooting over slightly. She responded with a tight-lipped smile, sitting "next" to him. It was more like she was sitting on him. El could've sworn she heard Ethan snicker when she sat down.

The movie the boys at chosen was terrifying. Elwyn could normally do scary movies, but this one was getting to her. She jumped as the villain appeared on screen again. Luke wrapped his arm around her waist, giving her a squeeze.

"You okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm good," she smiled politely.

Another jumpscare and Elwyn had fallen completely onto Luke's lap. She wasn't upset about it though, it was comforting in the moment. Dylan had taken notice of the position that Luke was in and elbowed Mark and Ethan. They all "discreetly" turned to look at the two, who looked rather comfortable. Elwyn jumped again, hiding her face in Luke's neck.

"This movie is terrifying," she whispered.

"It's ok, Winnie. I've got you."

It was in that moment that she realized the position she was in. Fully cuddled up on Luke's lap, one of his hands on her waist, the other on her thigh. What would Quinn think if he walked in right now? What would Jack think?

"I need to use the bathroom," she scrambled to get off of Luke.

"Oh, we can pause the movie."

"No, it's okay. I'll, uh, I'll be back."

She ran up the stairs, locking herself in Jack's ensuite. What was she doing? She couldn't let Luke get any ideas. She really liked Quinn. But oh my god, what would Jack think? Would he kick her out? Surely, he'd murder her before his brothers. They were his family, she was replaceable. Maybe she should end things with Quinn. Tell him it wasn't worth the strain it would cause on their relationships with Jack. But then again she'd already done things with him, would Jack even forgive her for that?

"Oh my god. I can't breathe," she gasped, splashing cold water on her face.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Her mind was running a thousand miles an hour. She had to stop seeing Quinn. Maybe she could just avoid him. Jack was more important. She had too. The more she thought about it, the more difficult it became to breathe.

She sat down on the floor, trying her breathing exercise again.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Finally she felt her heartbeat slow and her breathing return to normal. She wasn't going to let boys ruin her trip with her best friend. Nope. Plan: Avoid Quinn Hughes at All Costs, starts now!

"What did I do?" Quinn mumbled as he watched Elwyn interact with Jack. She hadn't even shot him a smile when he walked in the door from shopping, she'd gone straight to Jack. They were giggling amongst themselves while they cut up fruit for dinner.

She looked just as happy as she had this morning, but now she was pretending he didn't exist. He brushed her shoulder as he walked past her and she flinched, scooting closer to Jack.

As the night progressed, it became more obvious to the boy that she was ignoring him. She hadn't even looked his way once all night. Too busy keeping up with Jack, following him around like a lost puppy. He even tried shooting her a text, which was ultimately left on read.

Q: Hey, is everything okay? You seem off tonight.

Nothing.

It wasn't until she was closing her bedroom door to get changed that he caught a moment alone with her. She shrieked when her door opened, clutching her shirt to chest.

"Oh my god! Have you ever heard of knocking? I'm getting changed!"

"Why have you been ignoring me?"

Elwyn rolled her eyes, turning her back to him. so she could continue getting changed.

"Winnie?"

She exhaled loudly.

"Elwyn?"

"Maybe I just don't want to talk to you, Quinn."

"But- what did I do?"

"I'm trying to get ready for bed."

"El, just talk to me. Please. I thought we were getting somewhere."

She could hear the sadness and disappointment dripping from his words. It made her want to cry, knowing it was her fault he was feeling that way.

"I'd like to go to sleep now."

"El," he reached forward, grabbing her wrist and spinning her to face him. "What is going on? If I did something, I'm sorry."

"We can't, Quinn."

"Wha- we can't what?"

"We can't do this. We can't be together. Fling or not. It's not fair to Jack."

"Not fair to Jack? You shutting me out, isn't fair to me! Not everything revolves around Jack! You're an adult, he doesn't get to make decisions for you!" Quinn seethed, his face heating up.

"Don't yell at me."

"Don't yell at you?! Then don't be Jack's mindless little minion, Elwyn! Jesus fucking Christ!"

"I- I'm not," she whispered, blinking away tears.

"Yeah, well you sure fucking act like you are," he left, slamming the door behind him.

"What was that?!" she heard Jack yell.

"The wind!" Quinn lied, storming off to his room.

Elwyn couldn't hold back her tears anymore, sliding to the floor. She sobbed, covering her mouth with her hand to muffle the sound. How could he say that to her? She thought she was doing the right thing. She never imagined it could've gone that poorly.

Quinn couldn't sleep, he was too angry. Why did Elwyn let Jack dictate her life? She could be with whoever she wanted, she was a grown woman. So what if Jack was mad at them for a day? He'd get over it. If he could just get her to realize that he was there for her, no matter what happened-

A knock at the door broke him from his thoughts. Elwyn quietly opened and shut the door, sitting herself on the edge of his bed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you. I thought I was doing what was right."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you, El. But you have to communicate with me. You can't just shut me out, especially if you want to make this work."

"But what about Jack?"

"Elwyn. He loves you. You're his best friend. He'll get over it. I promise."

"I hate lying to him."

"Keeping a secret isn't lying."

"I just-"

"Come here," he opened his arms, Elwyn climbing into the bed next to him. He kissed her slowly. He wanted to show her how much he cared about her. Loved her even. She ran a hand through his hair, giggling when he nipped at her bottom lip.

"Think we can stay quiet?" she whispered.

"Easily."

"Quinn! Wake up! The boys wanna go out on the boat! And have you seen El? Jack said she isn't in her-" Luke stopped dead in his tracks. A bare back faced him, the sheets barely covering her waist. "Holy shit."

Luke ran down the stairs, taking his place at the table.

"You okay, Rusty? Looks like you've seen a ghost," Trevor joked.

"Hm? Yep. All good. Great even."

"Okay? Did you wake up Quinn?"

"Um... yeah. Yeah. He'll be down soon."

"Did you find El? I'm getting worried," Jack mentioned, sitting next to his brother.

"I-"

"Morning!" Elwyn smiled.

"There you are! You weren't in your room, I was worried," Jack hugged her.

"Yeah, fell asleep in the basement watching TV. Was having trouble falling asleep."

"All good! Glad you're okay. Is Quinn awake up there?"

Luke watched something flicker in her eyes at the mention of Quinn.

"Yep, he's just brushing his teeth."

As if on cue, Quinn came thumping down the stiars. A smile plastered on his face. Luke felt sick. It seemed that Quinn had finally gotten his dream girl, but at the expense of both of his brothers' feelings.

"Sorry, guys. Didn't sleep well," Quinn explained, grabbing some cereal.

"That's funny. Neither did Elwyn," Luke smirked.

"Oh. Funny coincidece," El shrugged, eyes darting everywhere but at the youngest Hughes.

"Must've been something in the air last night," he continued.

El furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. What was Luke going on about? Surely he didn't know that she'd slept with Quinn last night? Quinn had assured her they'd been silent. They even put a pillow behind the headboard like teenagers hiding from their parents.

"So... boat day?" Quinn offered, feeling the growing tension in the kitchen

"Yes!" Jack cheered, "Come on, El. I'll help you with your sunscreen."

"Coming," she followed after him, shooting a concerned look at Quinn, who just shrugged in response.

"So, Quinn... anything you want to share with the class?" Luke asked.

"Um? No?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah?"

"Positive? Nothing you want to share about Elwyn?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know."

"Luke, I don't know what you're implying."

"So, why was Elwyn naked in your bed this morning when I went to wake you up?"

"She wasn't," Quinn replied quickly, maybe too quickly.

"I know Elwyn when I see her, Quinn."

"Luke, I didn't sleep with Elwyn."

"You slept with Elwyn?" Jack's voice joined the conversation and suddenly you could hear a pin drop.

"I-"

"You slept with Elwyn?" Jack repeated, his voice increasing in volume.

"No, I know your rules, Jack."

"He's lying! I saw her in his bed this morning! That's why you couldn't find her!"

"Shut up, Luke!" Quinn sneered.

"No, please continue, Luke. I'd love to know what else Quinn is hiding from me."

"That's it, I think. I just saw her in his bed when I went to wake him up. Looking less than dressed."

"Jack, I don't know what he's talking about," Quinn pleaded.

"Bullshit! I-"

"Why's everyone yelling?" Elwyn's voice was soft compared to the rest of the conversation. Her nails were dug into her palms, surely leaving behind little crescent shaped indents. Worry filled her eyes.

"El..." Quinn breathed.

"Care to explain yourself, Elwyn?" Jack snapped.

"I'm confused."

"Don't act all innocent now when you were spreading your fucking legs for my brother last night!"

"I-"

"You what? Are acting like a slut?! Then yeah, you're right."

"I'm not a slut," her bottom lip quivered. Quinn was quick to get in front of her, feeling the sudden need to protect her from his brother's vicious words.

"She's not a slut, Jack. You don't control her."

Jack was at a loss for words. Quinn was right he didn't control her, but he could still be pissed at his brother.

"Fine, I don't control, Elwyn. She's a grown woman. But you, Quinn, you- you broke my rules! You took advantage of her!"

"How did I 'take at advantage of her'?" he air quoted.

"You-you..."

"You have no argument here, Jack. And you, Luke... what gives you the right to tell him? When you were trying to get with Elwyn too?"

"I'M NOT AN OBJECT!" her outburst made everyone jump, "Stop talking about me like I'm not standing right here! God! You're acting like children! Quinn, give me your car keys?"

"What? Why?"

"I'm going home."

"You're-"

"El, no. Please," Jack pleaded.

"You just called me a slut! You think I want to stay here with you? Ha! You are crazy."

"Babe, please."

"Don't 'babe' me, Quintin. Give me your keys," she demanded, reaching her hand out.

"No. You're angry. You shouldn't drive like this."

"Fine. I'll fucking walk home!" she threw her arms up, storming out the front door.

The group of boys stood around the kitchen staring at the Hughes brothers. Were they not going to go after her? Apologize? Boat day definitely wasn't happening.

It was getting dark out, Quinn and Jack were beyond worried. Jack was pacing the living room, his head snapping to the door every time there was a noise outside. Quinn was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, sending text after text to El. No answers. Luke and their friends were in the back, drinking and pretending all was well.

"Should we go looking for her?" Jack asked.

"I think that'd just scare her off."

"But what if someone snatches her off the street? It's getting dark out. She's been gone all day, Quinn."

"She'll come back."

"Stop pretending like you know her better than I do just because you slept with her! I know my best friend."

"Jack, can we not fight right now? We have more important things to worry about."

Jack just sighed. He was worried about El, but her sleeping with Quinn was still in the background of all his thoughts.

"Can I just ask why? Like was it to rub it in my face? To get back at me for something?"

"It has nothing to do with you, Jack. It's about Elwyn. I really like El. I've liked El since we were kids. And she finally showed me that she feels the same way. I'm- I'm happy with her."

"She- you love her, don't you?"

"It's too soon to say that."

"Quinn..."

"Yeah... I do. I... I do."

"Shit. She probably hates me."

"I mean, you did slut-shame your best friend."

"Right."

"If we're giong to blame anyone for this mess though, I think we blame Luke. El and I were going to tell you. But Luke kind of jumped the gun."

"Really? You were going to tell me?"

"Yeah, I mean last night... we talked about it."

"I guess that makes me feel a bit better."

Quinn was about to apologize, but the front door creaked open. A sniffle and the sound of shoes hitting the ground made Quinn jump up.

"El?"

She just stared at them, arms crossed over her chest.

"El. I'm so sorry," Jack wrapped his arms around her, but she didn't reciprocate the hug.

"That's nice. Are you done calling me a whore?"

"I didn't mean it, El. I was mad. It was heat of the moment."

"Yeah, well, I don't fucking appreciate it."

"Do- d'you think you can forgive me?"

"Yes, Jack. I'll forgive you," she chuckled.

El finally hugged him back, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She turned her attention to Quinn, who awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hi, El."

"Quinn."

"I'll give you guys some space," Jack shot them finger guns, walking out backwards.

"El, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like an object. You're not an object. You're... you're Elwyn. And I- I love you."

"You love me?"

"Yeah, I do. I love you."

She bit back her smile, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

"Of course." Their lips met in a sweet, languid kiss. "I love you too, Quinn Hughes."

And their lips met again, smiles on their faces breaking it, ending in a fit of giggles. They finally had each other.

Tags:

@h0e4fictionalme-n @toasttt11 @homestylehughes @laheyxlover @dontknowhockey

[astrophileous]

ZARA MY LOVE MWAH SENDING THROUGH A REQUEST WOOOOOOO 😚😚😚

please give me spencer reid crumbs 🤲 maybe him seeing reader in a fancy dress for the first time 👀 and he’s like 😃 because she’s so pretty 🥴 and he’s been rendered speechless because oh my god that’s his girlfriend????? ARE YOU FEELING ME 😩😩

I FEEL YOU MA'AM!!! AND I GOTCHUUU DON'T WORRYYY 🫶🫶🫶 (y'all better thank avis the loml for sending in this request bcs this turned out better than I expected if I do say so myself 👀)

Warning(s): fem!reader, profanities, spencer being head over heels in love with his gf, kinda suggestive towards the end so pls minors just be mindful

This blurb was written as a part of the "Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K" celebration.

Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No one is laughing!"

"Right. You're saying that wasn't a snort that I just heard?"

"I just think you're being unreasonable."

"Unrea—? I'm not being unreasonable! Don't call me unreasonable!"

Spencer sighed out loud as he turned the car towards a quiet street, his eyes never straying off the road even if 90% of his attention had been domineered by your distressed voice resonating out of his speaker phone for the past fifteen minutes. Something crashed on the other end of the line, and Spencer nearly pressed his right foot all the way down on the brake pedal as he glanced worriedly at the device on the passenger's seat.

"Sweetheart? Everything okay over there?"

"Everything's fine! I'm okay, I'm okay!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm just—fuck. I bumped into some stuff. It's not a big deal."

"(Y/N)—" Spencer called out softly, "—why don't you take a deep breath for me, my love?"

"Spencer—"

"Just humor me, okay?" There was a lengthy pause before he heard you take several deep breaths through the phone. "Feel better now?"

"Maybe. A little bit. Yeah."

"Good." Spencer smiled, slowing his car down to a stop as he stared at the familiar building outside the window. "Because I'm pulling up to your place right now."

"What?!"

After a full more minute of you cursing the living daylights out of him, Spencer ended the call and grabbed the bouquet of flowers from the backseat before walking all the way up to your apartment on the third floor. The three-piece suit he donned felt stiff against his body. Nevertheless, it was the fanciest thing he owned in his closet, thus uncomfortable as he was, Spencer thought he'd endure it tonight for Rossi's sake.

It was a memorable night in the BAU's history, considering Rossi had just finished the first book he ever wrote after rejoining the team and was throwing a party to celebrate its launch. "It's a whole shindig," Rossi had announced. "Everyone's invited, so dress to impress. Don't forget to bring that lovely girl of yours, Reid."

You had only met the team once by this point—an accidental encounter that barely lasted ten minutes after you and your friends stumbled into the same restaurant where Spencer and his team just happened to be dining in—and Spencer couldn't be more ecstatic at the prospect of you finally getting to know his second family even closer. The invitation was merely an implied gesture that confirmed what Spencer already knew to be true: the team approved of you. They loved you.

Yet, as he extended the invite to you two weeks ago, Spencer was surprised to see you panic instead of the unadulterated joy that he had expected to witness when he went to deliver the news.

"Two weeks, you said? The party is in two weeks? Two weeks? I have nothing to wear!"

You had been freaking out over the party every single day since then. Upon further inspection, Spencer finally realized that this behavior stemmed from your fear of not being accepted by the team, which was illogical since Spencer had stated very clearly about how much they adored you.

"I didn't have the chance to prepare for a good first impression, Spencer. So whatever happens, everything has to be perfect for Rossi's party," you had reasoned.

Hence, Spencer could only watch you from the sideline as you ran around in a frenzy for the past couple of weeks. He listened patiently to each one of your manic ramblings and gave you reassurances whenever you needed it. Before he left for your place that night, he made sure to stop by his usual florist to purchase a big bouquet of your favorite flowers, hoping that the vibrant arrangement could offer some repose to your restlessness.

A couple of minutes later, Spencer found himself coming face to face with the view of a familiar door. His grip around the bouquet tightened as he knocked on the wood three times.

"Coming!" you exclaimed from inside the apartment.

When the door finally swung open, Spencer nearly collapsed as he felt the air being knocked completely out of his lungs.

Spencer realized, then, that in the ten months the two of you had been together, there had never been any special occasion where the two of you were required to dress to the nines. And as lovely as you always looked in Spencer's eyes, nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you standing in a luxurious dress, all dolled-up like the epitome of timeless beauty whose fairness they used to sing about back in the old days.

The material of the dress flowed and hugged your body in all the right places, giving Spencer a calculated peek to the vast skin underneath that he had mapped out countlessly in the past. The dress itself came in a color that complimented the natural gleam of your skintone. You looked radiant as you stood there with the dress and your makeup perfectly in place. Still, as stunning as you were at that moment, Spencer knew that the dress wouldn't be as captivating as it was had it been any other person wearing it instead of you.

"Spencer." The sound of his name in your enthralling voice brought Spencer back out of his stupor. "Can you wait a minute? I need to find my purse. I swear, I put it somewhere around here. And shoes! Shit. I haven't chosen what shoes to wear."

You flew around the apartment with the most anxious elegance Spencer had ever seen in a person. He wordlessly walked into the threshold and kicked the door shut behind him. You reappeared in front of Spencer barely five minutes later, holding a matching purse in your hand and standing four inches taller courtesy to the heels you were wearing.

"Okay, I'm ready!" you announced. "Spencer? Why are you looking at me like that? What, do I have something on my face? Crap, is it my lipstick?!"

Spencer stepped closer as you began rummaging through the tiny purse you were carrying. He gripped your wrist in his hand, stopping your ministrastions until you finally looked up at him.

"You look beautiful," Spencer admitted in a breathless murmur. "So gorgeous."

Without a word of warning, Spencer used his free hand to pull you closer by the waist, connecting his desperate lips with your sweet ones. You yelped against him before melting completely into his embrace, letting his tongue dominate your own as your delight erupted in a series of muffled whimpers. It felt as if hours had passed—your legs threatening to turn into jelly underneath you—when Spencer eventually pulled away, resting his forehead on top of yours as the two you tried to catch your breath.

"You have lipstick on your face." You laughed, wiping the reddish stain around Spencer's lips as your boyfriend chuckled wholeheartedly. "Not that I didn't appreciate the passionate display of affection, darling, but what was that for?"

"Nothing. I just love you so much."

"Uh-huh." You raised a pair of unimpressed eyebrows at him, your lips curving up one degree further when you saw what he was holding in his hand. "Is this for me?"

Spencer grinned as he presented the bouquet in your face. "Who else?"

You offered a quick thank you before rushing towards the kitchen where you relocated the flowers into a vase. Spencer followed closely behind, gaze never straying far from you as you pranced around the space fluidly.

"It's pretty." You hummed appreciatively as you set the vase on the kitchen peninsula. "Thank you, Spencer."

"Anything for you, sweetheart," he replied. Spencer's stare raked over your entire figure for the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes, a twinkle in his eyes when he finally found your expectant gaze directed at him. "You know, the party venue isn't really far from here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Spencer whispered, stealthily moving towards you as if he was a predator stalking its prey. "And the party doesn't start for another fifteen minutes anyway, so there's no reason for us to leave right away."

A familiar fire burned brighter behind your eyes with every inch of distance Spencer managed to consume. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely." He was standing in front of you now, fingers dancing up and down your arms calling for goosebumps to rise on their wake. "Besides, I don't think anyone would mind if we arrive a few minutes late, right? After all, it's not our party."

"No, it's not." You gasped when Spencer shoved your body towards him, your chest flush against his to the point where you could feel the thumping of his heart on top of yours. "Fuck, Spencer. Just kiss me."

Groaning, Spencer didn't waste a single second before he claimed your lips in a hungry kiss. Spencer's palms roamed every expanse of flesh he could reach, eager to hear you sing his praises in the form of enraptured moans and gasps that elicited a blazing flame inside his own body.

Needless to say, as much as Spencer loved seeing you in that dress, he didn't think there was any greater sight than watching it thrown haphazardly on the floor.

[bitterbutblue]

zhu yuan angst

wait for me to come home ☆ zhu yuan x reader

~ my birthday present for zhu yuan is her girlfriend dying ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

"So dinner at.. where again?"

"Waterfall soup?"

"Waterfall.. oh, the place near Random Play?"

"Mhm!"

"What time?"

"Uh.. I get off work at five-thirty, let's say six?"

"Great, see you there, baby."

"Ah- don't say that!"

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing..."

"We've been dating for three years?"

You laugh at your girlfriend's flustered rambling- something about it being more embarrassing when she's at work or whatnot. You really weren't listening. Her voice always puts you under some sort of spell, where you become this lovey dovey, annoyingly sappy version of yourself. You have a stupidly lopsided grin on your face as she mumbles about how she should get back to work but she's so excited to see you tonight.

"Love you, Zhu Yuan!"

"Ack- don't...love you too." she mumbles the last part out quickly and quietly, but then quickly sends a follow up text after:

from: my officer <3:

I'm so sorry!!!

I love you sosososososo much

It's embarrassing to say it out loud in front of my coworkers...

I love youuuuuuuuuuuuu

to: my officer <3

love you most, my darlingggg <3

You just giggle at her texts before putting your phone away.

If you knew what was going to happen next, you probably would've written her a note or recorded a voice message for her- tell her how much you truly love her, how she was everything to you. But you don't really have time to do all that. You really only have a three second window between staring down at a car way past the speed limit and dying.

You hope she knows that your last thought was her.

She waits at Waterfall Soup at 6 on the dot- like you agreed on. She hums to herself, starting awkward conversations with General Chop and bidding Belle and Wise farewell as they finish their meal. She stands and stands, fidgeting with the sleeves of her jacket and clicking at random apps on her phone. The minutes continue to pass, one by one, but you still don't show up. She sighs, trying to push down the disappiontment as she fires you another text.

to: my girlfriend !! <3

Where are you?

Everything okay?

Another ten minutes pass, nothing.

to: my girlfriend !! <3

Hello?

Did you forget?

She started to grow annoyed- at the end she decides to call you. The phone rings, rings, rings... and nothing. She groans, pushing her phone into her pocket. She's tired and hungry. She calls you again, and again. By the third failed call, her annoyance turns into worry. She begins feels her stomach churn as she goes through all the possibilities of what might've happened to you- maybe your phone just died. Surely, your phone just died, right?

She calls your closest friend, Grace or something. She doesn't pick up either. Now she actually feels like she should be panicking. Grace refuses to pick up, and she keeps calling until a different line comes in- she doesn't recognise the number but in her line of work any call can be important. She sighs, groaning frustratedly as she picks up.

"Hello-?"

"Is this Zhu Yuan?"

"Yeah?"

"This is New Eridu Hospital. You were listed as an emergency contact for..."

They said your name.

Your name.

Human language was created so that people could communicate, people could plan, organise, discuss. But the human language also has this incredibly ability to make you feel, and it's truly inrcedible how a few words can cause your entire world to shatter into nothing.

"She's not going to make it."

"What?"

Her own voice is shaky, quiet. She can barely hear herself. She feels her blood run cold, her hands shaking as the tips of her fingers grow as cold as ice. She swallows, shaking her head.

"What?"

"You should-"

She doesn't even let them finish, she's already hailed a cab off the street. The entire time she has to fight the sickening urge to throw up, her heart is beating in her chest and she can't breathe. She wants to beg the taxi driver to go faster but there's only a certain speed they can reach up to before they literally break the sound barrier. By the time she arrives at the hospital, she doesn't even bother waiting for change. She throws down a wad of cash and runs- dashing through the doors of the hospital. The bright lights and the stench of disinfectant hits her like a truck

"Hello? I'm here to see-"

"Zhu Yuan?"

She freezes. She recognises that voice- Grace. Seated next to her was her sister, Koleda. Grace's eyes were red as she wipes at the tears on her face.

"Grace? Grace, where is she, is she okay?"

Grace just breaks down into sobs and she already knows the answer to the question. She can feel her knees going weak, collapsing to the floor. Koleda rushes up next to her, her own voice hoarse and raspy as she wraps a comforting arm around Zhu Yuan.

"I'm sorry." Koleda hushes out, but she can barely focus.

All she can do is stare ahead, tunnel visioning as she feels every ounce of her being slowly crumble- each piece slowly being torn off or chipped away as Grace echoes back what happened earlier that day. You had gotten hit by a car soon after she had just gotten off from work, and there was little to no chance of survival. It was a miracle you even made it to the hospital alive, but Zhu Yuan wasn't fast enough. Fuck, not even Grace was allowed to see you because it was that fucked up.

She just stays on the ground, refusing to move. Zhu Yuan felt sick just thinking about it, her breathing shallow as she watches the life she's built turn into just a memory right in front of her eyes. She watches her future turn into the past, her life diverge from what it was supposed to be into a new unknown. She watches you fade, she can still feel your smile against her neck when she hugs you close. She can still feel your kisses against her cheek after a long day of work but it's only a feeling now.

It'll only stay a feeling now.

She never even got to see your body. She never got to hold your hand for the last time- only watching as they lowered you to the ground. It never felt real until that day. The day she watched you, in a box, lower into nothing but a ditch and she wails. She begs them to stop and she begs you to just wake up. She cries, screaming for you to wake up- just wake up. She hopes this is all some sick and fucked up prank but the box just lowers and lowers- until you become nothing more than a memory. Your texts become nothing more but a reminder, your photographs are nothing but taunts.

from: my girlfriend!! <3 (sent 5 days ago)

u r my world zhu yuan

missed u

excited to see u soon!

last seen 5 days ago

[kangshxrtie]

03 . white-out (written)

"fucking finally," ricky said as he held the door open for you, julie, and belle to step inside.

"we would've been here earlier, but y/n took forever to ask for that girl's instagram," belle teased, nudging your shoulder.

"i was scared!" you protested. "i didn't want her to think i was some creepy motherfucker."

"you were about to become one with the way you stared at her," belle shot back.

"i just like to appreciate pretty things," you said with a shrug.

once inside, everyone ended up sprawled on the living room floor, drinks in hand. the plan was to pregame for an hour before heading out, aiming to arrive fashionably late at 10:00. ricky had already set the vibe by queuing up the pregame playlist.

"i missed our pregame sessions," matthew said.

"so true," yunjin agreed, sipping her drink. "i barely survived this summer without drinking with y'all."

"exactly!" ricky said, passing out shots. "pregaming with strangers over the summer? trash. this—this is where it's at."

"honestly, summer was tragic," belle added, swirling her non-alcoholic drink. "and y/n ghosted us half the time for, what?"

"i wasn't ghosting," you said, reaching for your shot glass. "i was busy."

"busy doing what? rewatching old netflix shows?" matthew teased, grinning as the room burst into laughter.

"anyway, what's the vibe for tonight? chill or getting full-on fucked up?" yunjin said, pouring more drinks.

"all the way fucked up," ricky and julie said in unison, clinking their drinks.

"obviously getting fucked up," you added. "it's our first party of the year. we have to go all out."

"cheers to that," matthew said, raising his cup.

by 9:45, the living room was a mix of laughter, music, and slightly tipsy antics. ricky and yunjin were in a heated debate over who had the better outfit, while you and matthew lounged on the couch, half-listening.

julie finally stood up, grabbing her bag. "alright, we're going. if we stay here any longer, belle's gonna fall asleep, and then we're fucked."

"i can't even argue," belle said, stretching dramatically. "i was so close to grabbing a blanket and knocking out."

everyone grabbed their things, but not without belle spending another ten minutes dragging you and matthew off the couch. finally, you were out the door, heading to the party.

"alright," yunjin said, leading the way. "remember: no wandering off. i'm looking at you, y/n."

"you get lost one time, and suddenly i'm on a leash," you said with a sigh.

"and matthew, please stay off the tables this time," yunjin added.

"for the last time, falling off didn't even hurt that bad!" matthew said defensively. "i survived."

"survived, but at what cost?" belle teased. "your dignity and our reputation."

"you make one scene, and suddenly you're the table guy forever," matthew groaned, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"you're a walking liability," ricky said, smirking. "but we keep you around for the free entertainment."

about ten minutes later, you all piled out of belle's car like a clown car. she had parked a little ways from the house, just in case, but it meant a short walk to the party.

"which house is it again?" belle asked, glancing around.

"yeah, see... i don't actually know," yunjin admitted, staring at her phone and scrolling for the address.

a car pulled up a few feet ahead, and a group of already-drunk people stumbled out, laughing and yelling.

"follow the drunk people," julie said with a shrug.

you all did, tailing the loud group until the thumping bass got louder and the house came into view—a two-story place with people lined up in the front time.

"it works every time," julie said as you reached the front door.

you all stood in the not-too-long line outside the house. the music inside was loud enough to feel the bass in your chest even from here, and the occasional laugh or yell spilled out whenever someone opened the door.

"who has the tickets?" you asked, turning to look at the group behind you.

"i've got all six," yunjin said, pulling up the email on her phone. she handed it over to the guy at the entrance, who scanned the qr code before motioning for you to step forward.

"wristbands on your left," he said, barely looking up as he waved you through.

you each grabbed a wristband, securing it snugly, and stepped into the house. the moment you walked in, you were hit with the unmistakable smell of weed and alcohol mixed with the faint trace of someone's cologne. the place was already packed, bodies pressed together in the living room while someone yelled in the kitchen about seltzers.

you turned to say something to matthew, but he was nowhere to be found. typical. with a group as big as yours, it was inevitable that someone would wander off. you shrugged it off, knowing he'd resurface eventually.

"my favorite people!" you heard from behind you and saw megan approaching you with a half-empty drink in hand and a slightly lopsided smile. "did y'all pregame?" megan asked.

"yeah, but not as much as you apparently," yunjin said, raising an eyebrow.

"i started as soon as i got home from class. i've been drunk all day," megan said proudly.

"so real," julie said, giving her a knowing nod.

"let's hit up sophia so y'all can catch up to my level," megan said, leading the way toward the makeshift bar area.

"sophia!" you greeted as soon as you reached the counter.

"oh my god, y'all look so cute!" sophia said, gesturing at the matching theme you and your group had coordinated.

"thank you! you look amazing as always," yunjin replied, flashing her a grin.

"did y'all just get here?" sophia asked.

"yeah, you know how hard it is to get everybody in our group out on time," belle said, rolling her eyes.

"perfect timing, though. it's just started jumping in here," sophia said.

"almost like the party doesn't start until we arrive," julie quipped, tossing her hair dramatically.

"shit, you might be right," sophia laughed. "i swear these parties are way less fun when y'all aren't here."

"that's why we come—to keep our favorite bartender company," you said, leaning on the counter.

"that reminds me," sophia said, ducking under the table for a moment before popping back up with a small stash of shooters. she handed them to you with a smirk. "i saved some of your favorite."

"i fucking love you, sophia," you said, clutching the shooters like they were a treasure.

"you know i got you," she said with a wink.

yunjin, julie, and ricky also grabbed drinks while sophia filled you in on party gossip.

"yoonchae is supposed to be helping me, but i haven't seen her since the party started. i think she ditched me," sophia said, looking mildly annoyed.

"she probably got distracted," you said, waving it off. "we'll cross paths eventually."

"if you see her, tell her to bring her ass back here," sophia said, pointing at you.

"on it," you promised before stepping away to let the growing line behind you get their turn.

drinks in hand, you regrouped with everyone and clinked cans for a quick cheers before heading toward the main dance floor.

the house was alive with movement—people dancing, couples tucked into corners, and someone hollering as they attempted to balance on a countertop. you spotted lara up at the dj booth, her hands expertly mixing tracks like always. you made a mental note to swing by and say hi when you had the chance.

for now, though, the music was too good to resist. the bass thumped through the floor, and you couldn't help but let yourself get pulled into the crowd with your friends. the night was just getting started. you slowly made your way up to the front and as you did you ran into megan again who had a thing of buzzball in her hand.

"every time i see you, you've got something different," ricky said, eyeing the bottle in megan's hand.

"i barely drank this summer, so i'm fully stocked," megan replied, grinning.

"same. that's why i was so excited to come back to school. i missed this," you added.

"you want some?" megan offered, holding the bottle up.

"absolutely," you nodded eagerly.

she tipped the bottle, pouring it straight into your mouth while your friends and some nearby strangers cheered you on. of course, some of it dripped down your shirt, but at this point, you couldn't care less.

julie leaned over and took a turn. "that's my girl," a familiar voice said behind you. you turned to see matthew making his way over, his usual chaotic energy in full swing.

"matthew?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "where the hell have you been?"

"i've been looking for you guys everywhere," matthew replied, slightly out of breath. "i went to grab belle a weed pen, and when i turned back, y'all were gone."

"you told us nothing," ricky said flatly.

"i literally told yunjin i'd be right back," matthew argued.

"shit, you probably did, but i wasn't paying attention," yunjin said with a laugh, taking a swig from her drink.

"anyway," matthew continued, pulling the pen from his pocket, "i got this so tonight is a little bit more bearable for you."

"my savior," belle said dramatically, grabbing it and immediately taking a hit.

the group hung out with megan for a while longer before she pulled you all toward the dj booth to say hi to lara.

"laraaa!" you called as you spotted her, throwing your hands up.

"y/n! you're here!" lara grinned, leaning over the booth to give you a quick hug.

"of course. i'd never miss y'all's first party of the year," you said, beaming.

"is that my favorite girl, y/n?" a voice called from behind you. you turned to see manon, one of the party hosts, striding over with her signature confident grin.

"manon!" you squealed, running to her and wrapping her in a hug. "i missed you so much."

"i missed you too," she said, pulling back to look at you. "you having fun?"

"always. i can always trust your parties to deliver," you replied.

manon smirked. "i saw megan pouring shots down your throat earlier."

"and it was so worth it," you laughed.

"i bet it was," she said, glancing at her phone with a groan.

"host duties?" you guessed.

"yeah, the people need me," manon sighed dramatically.

"well, i'll be around when you're done. we need to take some shots together," you said.

"deal," she replied.

you returned to the dj booth, dancing in the little space nearby as lara kept the energy going with the perfect mix. your friends were buzzing around, and you felt that sweet spot between tipsy and carefree.

"we're gonna grab more drinks. you good here?" yunjin asked, nodding toward your half-full shooters.

"yeah, i'll just stick by lara," you replied, waving them off.

you danced along to the beat, letting the music wash over you, until someone came up behind you. curious, you turned to see who it was—a girl, ridiculously pretty, with a playful smile on her face. you decided instantly you didn't mind her presence.

the two of you started dancing together, her hand lightly brushing your waist as you moved. time blurred, and you didn't even notice how long your friends had been gone.

when you finally got tired, you slowed down, trying to separate yourself, but the girl gently kept her hand on your waist and leaned in.

"what school do you go to?" she asked, her voice low over the music.

"(your school name)," you replied without hesitation.

"really? i've never seen you before," she said, tilting her head in curiosity.

"it's a big-ass school," you shrugged.

"what's your name?" she asked.

"y/n," you said casually.

"imma remember that," she said with a grin, but before she could say anything else, someone pulled her away, leaving you standing there slightly dazed.

shrugging it off, you turned to see your friends finally making their way back.

"okay, y/n, i see you!" julie teased as they approached.

"where the hell have y'all been?" you asked, realizing they'd been gone longer than expected.

"oh, so you did notice we were gone," belle said with a smirk.

"we came back right after getting drinks," yunjin explained, "but when we saw you dancing with daniela, we didn't want to interrupt."

"she was so pretty," you slurred, leaning against ricky for support.

"well, y/n's officially fucked up," ricky laughed, patting your shoulder.

"just a little, but we're good," you said, giving a double thumbs-up. just as you did, one of your favorite songs came on, and without hesitation, you grabbed julie, pulling her to dance with you.

manon eventually made her way back, her face lighting up as she saw you. before she could say anything, you handed her one of the shooters you'd saved leaving her no time to ask any questions.

manon laughed, clinking her shooter against yours before downing it. the two of you danced together, the energy of the party keeping you moving as the night went on. for now, nothing else mattered.

eventually, the night had to come to an end. belle noticed matthew getting dangerously close to climbing onto another table, and she immediately stepped in, pulling him away before disaster struck. with a sigh of determination, she took on the role of the responsible one, rounding everyone up while forcing each of you to say your goodbyes.

getting everyone out of the house proved to be a challenge. belle stopped every few minutes to count heads like a mom on a school field trip because someone (usually matthew or you) kept getting distracted. but finally, after what felt like an eternity, the group made it to the car.

ricky, the most sober among you, stepped up as the unofficial co-captain, helping guide everyone back. matthew was the first to flop into the backseat, followed by yunjin, then you and julie. belle turned around in the driver's seat, doing another headcount before starting the car.

"if anyone feels sick, say it now," belle warned, her eyes scanning each of you.

"i feel great," you declared, leaning your head on julie's shoulder.

"same," julie said, resting her head on yours.

"i'm fine as long as i don't look at the road," yunjin mumbled from the middle seat, clearly fighting a battle with herself.

"if you're gonna throw up, at least wait till we get to the food spot," ricky chimed in from the front.

"yes, sir," yunjin replied with a weak salute.

that was all belle needed to finally pull off. the car ride was filled with quiet laughter and the occasional groan from yunjin, who had now slumped onto your shoulder, muttering about her not being able to look at the road.

belle pulled into a drive-thru to grab food, hoping it would help everyone sober up a little. ricky paid for it all. the smell of fries and burgers filled the car as you parked in a quiet lot to eat.

yunjin was still in rough shape, so you took it upon yourself to feed her a few bites while everyone else devoured their meals. the car was uncharacteristically quiet—because drunk food just hits differently.

"i just wanna say," julie started, breaking the silence as she finished her burger. "i'm so proud of how many girls y/n pulled tonight."

"i didn't pull anyone," you protested between bites. "i was just vibing."

"i watched you pull both hosts," matthew countered, smirking.

"manon doesn't count! we're friends," you argued.

"right," belle interjected with a knowing grin. "but the way y'all were grinding didn't exactly scream 'friendship.'"

"i literally danced the same way with julie!" you shot back.

"the vibe was different," belle teased, leaning over to toss her trash in the bag on the armrest.

deciding to deflect, you turned to matthew. "okay, but let's talk about how many people asked for your number tonight."

"what can i say? i'm a magnet," matthew said with a smug shrug.

"and don't forget julie getting approached by two people at once. it was so funny," you added, laughing at the memory.

"when did that happen?" ricky asked, spinning around in his seat.

"when we were getting shots," julie explained. "one came up while i was talking to the other."

"did we all get someone's number tonight?" belle asked with a sly grin.

"you did too?" everyone exclaimed in unison.

"why does that sound so shocking?" belle said, rolling her eyes. "it happened when y'all were busy getting liquor poured down your throats. somebody approached me while i was trying to record it."

"slay," yunjin slurred out, her first words in a while.

"oh, thank god," ricky said, glancing back at her. "she's alive."

"i'm fine," yunjin muttered with her eyes closed. "just... no sudden movements."

"i'm staying parked for a bit," belle announced, collecting everyone's trash. "just in case."

the conversation shifted to recounting highlights of the night while yunjin dozed off against you. once you were sure she was out cold, you gave belle a subtle nod to signal it was time to head home. the alcohol buzz was fading, replaced by exhaustion, and you didn't think you'd last much longer if you stayed parked.

belle dropped everyone off one by one, starting with yunjin. ricky helped her inside while the rest of you stayed in the car, laughing softly about how much of a lightweight she always turned out to be. matthew was next, and ricky stayed behind to make sure he didn't stumble into any furniture on his way inside. finally, it was ricky's turn.

"you got them?" ricky asked belle before closing the car door.

"yeah, they're fine now that they've eaten," belle assured him.

"alright. call me if you need anything," ricky said, waving as he walked toward his house.

with just the three of you left, belle drove you and julie home. she stuck around to make sure you both made it to your rooms safely and offered to help you wash up, but you managed on your own. the moment your face hit the pillow, you were out like a light.

BACK | MAIN | NEXT

TAGLIST 🪩 @saysirhc @wintersgff @sixflame438 @1luvkarina @ihrtantn @yeetaberry127

[tomorrowillbeyou]

Thursday 2005 demos

These are some early demos for A City by the Light Divided which were stolen from the band and leaked in September 2005. I haven't seen anyone post about them so I thought I would myself. Below are lyrics and some extra context. I have tried to transcribe the lyrics as best I can but I have pretty bad auditory processing disorder so there will inevitably be some errors. If you spot a mistake, let me know and I will edit the post. The formatting and details of the lyrics are mostly based on the CD booklet.

Blog post

After the demos were leaked, Geoff made this blog post on the Thursday website on September 21 2005:

1 - At This Velocity - Lyrics

Hey friends-

SO… we see that the early demos we did for the record have FINALLY leaked. In this day and age anything and everything that passes through a computer eventually ends up being available to everyone at the click of a button. Many of you know that Thursday is one of the few bands that actually supports file sharing!!! We love the fact that music is available to everyone whenever they need it. We have always told our friends and 'fans' that they should download any of our albums that they can't afford or can't find in stores.

These demos, however, weren't ready for anyone to hear. These songs have all changed substantially since those demos and will probably change between now and the recording. Just to help you guys understand these demos, here's a user's guide: 1. most of these songs don't have names because the lyrics are still being written… a song only really becomes a song for us when we figure out EXACTLY what it's about. 2. One of these songs is actually the reincarnated out-take of a song that we cut from war all the time. 3. Andrew had just joined the band as a full fledged member when we recorded these and his keyboard parts were still sketchy at best. 4. There is one song, however, that is much closer to finished than the other's. It's called "At This Velocity" and it's about a crash landing in an airplane on the other side of the world. This song was started when we were in Australia on tour with the Flaming Lips, the Mars Volta and Poison the Well. The first line of the song is, "We were safe, Now we're paralyzed, Suspended in flight…" We hope you enjoy it.

On a related and timely note, we are very excited to announce that we will be heading into the studio with Dave Fridmann at the beginning of October to start on our new album. His work with the Flaming Lips, Weezer, Mogwai and Sleater Kinney has produced some of the finest albums of the last ten years. Dave is one of the few modern producers really pushing the medium and he's one of the nicest guys in the business. We started preproduction on the sixteen songs we've written. In the short amount of time we've been working with Dave he's already pushing us to new musical and emotional ground.

Anyway, thank you all for the love that you have always shown us. These demos aren't really a good indication so try not to listen to them too much (we don't want you to get used to them this way!!!). We're just happy that all the really great stuff on this album is still a secret!!!

Keep checking the website for updates and tidbits.

thanks and love,

Geoff (and all the Thursday boys)

We were safe

Now we're paralyzed

Suspended in flight

At this speed it makes no difference

Where I start and where you end

Or if you sit in an emergency aisle.

We could be dead

Complete the equation:

Our names are X and N

We have no value

In these calculations:

We're placed on a plane,

Pointed straight down,

Traveling at five hundred feet per second,

Five thousand feet from the ground -- how long will it take us to hit?

How fast will we start the disintegration?

No time left - just keep moving

No time left - just keep moving

How fast will it take us to hit?

How long till we start the disintegration?

2 - Telegraph Avenue Kiss - Lyrics

We could be safe here, forever,

Floating in the clean blue air.

Somewhere between the sun that gives us light and the ground that puts it out.

And we'll kneel in the aisles

Press our hands together, close our eyes, speak these words so softly into the black box

And it goes:

"Mother, father, can you hear this?

I want to thank you for all the sweetness.

I'm not coming home, we're never coming home."

She's the song that you tried to sing

And the note that you couldn't hit

So you locked her up in a music box

Turned the key on all of us

She spins silver strings in the dark

With metal teeth that ring in her heart

When the cover drops

The world just fades away, away, away

From her, waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

A book of matches and a cigarette

A love note that you never sent

You can fold it up but you won't forget

You can strike a match but it still might not light

Now I'm the one that's stuck inside the silver cage,

The bird that can't fly away, clip its wings if it sings

Of the way, the way, the way that it hurt

Waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

Doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

The music box is open

It's spinning with the room

If you're the record playing, I'm the needle in the groove.

Listen to our song:

You're in my heart,

In my hands

In my lungs.

3 - The Other Side of the Crash / Over and Out (Of Control) - Lyrics

We move like a carousel

Streak lights and mirrors in our eyes

It's time to let this go

Can't stop spinning

Around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around

You know our love's not unconditional

Unconditional

Unconditional

You know our love's not unconditional.

Note: This contains a section from Panic On The Streets Of Health Care City, the "reincarnated out-take" mentioned in the blog post. Panic later appeared on Kill The House Lights.

The lights go down, outside (before our cars collide)

The city silhouettes itself (in forty shades of fire)

Do you know where these lies are leading? I'll meet you there.

I'm covering up my eyes

Before they cover up your eyes

And wrap your body all in white,

And we awake in the light of all the lies

This can't be happening

These sirens are for me, yeah

We wake up

Covered in the marks of all these razors

Racing up our veins

We'll live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe again

From the razor's edge.

And the hospital ward sleeps

Through the surgery

Hiding needles in the drawer

(for emergency)

While upstairs they sleep

In maternity

Fever and the pitch.

It's a brand new day,

Just to be awake,

This is how it feels

To live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe away

From the razor's edge.

4 - Autumn Leaves Revisited - Lyrics

The I.V. drips, the days drag on

The anesthetic's not wearing off

Adjust the light switch in the hall

Someone has left it on,

And maybe the x-ray screen keeps it from getting dark

The bulb burns out when it gets too hot

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

I can't keep crashing this car

Still it spins out of control

So hold me close or I might disappear this time

Out of control

We fight currents in the water

When we can't let go of the shore.

We've lost control.

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all go home

It won't be long

It won't be long

I live with a girl who’s been waiting

Seven months left till they bring home the baby

He swore he was paying for school

They shipped him over. Now he scatters on the front lines

He swore he would follow his conscience

But done the wrong way follows his orders instead.

When he shoots, he sings this song

But he doesn’t know that she’s been singing it, too.

It won't be long

It won't be long

Until they find a way home

We walk along the wire tied between horizons

You close your eyes like it's nothing at all

Throughout the rise and fall, everything, everything

Changes, I will be here when you die

Did you hear the trumpets play the day your father died?

Did the violins swell those circles under your eyes?

Did you play the part straight like a march?

Or get lost in the beat, thinking and feeling…

Did the drums in the streets make the people dance?

Or fall to their knees from the sound?

Knock the leaves from the trees,

and they fell from the branch?

They looked beautiful

As they hung in the air

Spinning around

Did you float in the air?

Spinning around?

There must be somewhere that cigarettes burn through the night

And the leaves don't abandon their trees to the light

Where the sky's always clear and the summer never ends…

Won't you take me there?

5 - Untitled - Lyrics

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all are going home

Note - this didn't end up on ACBTLD, but did make it onto Common Existence as Last Call.

The center cannot hold, the side collapses

Full of broken words, sing the song inside the dark arcade

Color me in city greens

The streets unwinding, spitting flames

Cars around the arteries

We scream and swerve and fall apart.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

I'll save us from the sky until a feeling burns, you try

It plants a seed of fire that flowers in the corner of your eye

Circular breathing

We'll keep them always moving

Heart attack efficiency,

Erase the figure as it falls.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

Everything is falling apart.

The wedding starts

The guests appear

The church bells ringing endlessly

The bride and groom are hand in hand

And everything goes as it's planned:

The parents smile,

The priest chokes up,

The organ plays "Amazing Grace"

And underneath the thin white veil

And the people sing:

La la la la, da da da…

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

[sapphic-agent]

Let's Talk About Izuku and Bakugou's Relationship

Happy New Year, everyone! Thought I'd kick 2024 off with a new post. I haven't written an in-depth analysis in a while, so I figured now was a good time.

So, I've touched on this before, many times in fact. If you've seen my other posts, you know that I think that the BKDK relationship is a clusterfuck of codependency, abuse, and toxicity. But I don't think I've ever analyzed it frame-by-frame, so here's an attempt.

Childhood

The lake scene has the most focus than any other flashback in the series. It's meant to show us why Bakugou hated Izuku; he assumed Izuku looked down on him and saw him as weak. It's supposed to support the idea that Bakugou has an inferiority complex that's been present since he was a kid and that's why he lashes out at Izuku and wants to be rid of him. Because Izuku makes him feel weak.

But this isn't true. Or, it doesn't paint the whole picture.

One thing the lake scene seems to gloss over is the fact that Bakugou was always mean to Izuku. Maybe he wasn't as harsh and could be written off as just a kid being a kid, but he still made fun of him. He still went out of his way to make him feel bad about himself and humiliate him. He called him "Deku" way before either of them were (or weren't) given a quirk.

And he only ever did this to Izuku, not the other kids part of his posse. He, even at such a young age, saw Izuku as an easy target, someone he could easily shove around because he knew Izuku wouldn't fight back (this would persist for the next ten years).

It's important to note that there's only one instance where Bakugou's behavior towards Izuku turns violent. It's when Izuku defends a kid that Bakugou and his posse are picking on. This is the moment where Bakugou becomes physically aggressive; not when he found out Izuku was quirkless, during the lake, or any time before. It's here, when Izuku stops being the defenseless wimp who won't stand up to him. He doesn't like that Izuku stepped out of the mold he had confined him to (I'll come back to this later).

The truth of their childhood together is that Bakugou was always inherently awful to Izuku. It wasn't like he experienced one bad moment that flipped a switch, Bakugou liked picking on Izuku from day one.

Middle School

There isn't much to say about their days at Aldera other than it's just a progression of escalation from their childhood. They've settled into their roles as abuser and victim. Bakugou knows he can say and do whatever he wants and Izuku won't defend himself because it's been the status quo for a decade.

He revels in that power he has over him, likes to remind Izuku of his "place." And if he steps out of line, Bakugou exerts that power over him to shut him right down, stressing his inability to do anything about his situation. It's a cycle of abuse.

Deku vs Kacchan Part 1

I've already talked about this scene before, but this is also another example as to what I was alluding to above.

As @delawaredetroit pointed out in a post from a while ago, Bakugou isn't feeling betrayed here. He himself has said time and time again that he and Izuku weren't friends. He cares about the fact that his victim now has power of his own.

All their lives, Bakugou had the power and Izuku was powerless. That was the dynamic they were used to and the one that Bakugou was aware and repeatedly took advantage of. But now, Izuku isn't powerless or defenseless. He no longer fits the mold that Bakugou had tied him to since childhood. That's why Bakugou is so upset; not because Izuku kept something from him but because the power imbalance between was shifting.

And it's why he tries to use guilt-tripping here. He wants Izuku to feel bad, wants to reestablish some of the control over him he just lost. And it works, because Izuku tells him he inherited his quirk completely unprompted after the fact. Bakugou knows he has the power in their relationship and has no issues abusing that power.

Sports Festival

I don't have much to say here, but I would like to point out something very inconsistent concerning Bakugou's interpretation of his relationship with Izuku. He claims that Izuku kept following him around and that he couldn't get rid of him, which attributed to his dislike. But even if that was true when they were 5, it's actually the opposite at least from middle school on.

Bakugou went out of his way to target Izuku in the first chapter/episode. He also tracked him down after the Sludge Villain incident. He's initiated every one of their confrontations in UA. And here, he deliberately eavesdropped on Izuku's conversation with Todoroki.

I don't know whether to call it hypocrisy or ignorance, but Izuku was content to leave Bakugou alone. Bakugou's the one who's constantly harassing and obsessing over him.

Final Exams

Izuku daring to display confidence and competence invokes immediate physical violence in Bakugou. He doesn't like that Izuku is talking to him like he's an equal, he doesn't like that Izuku dares to step outside of his role as a victim. Bakugou wants Izuku to act like he's below him and gets agitated when he doesn't do that. He, in this moment, cared more about putting Izuku in his place than his own grade.

Deku vs Kacchan Part 2

I mentioned that BKDK is codependent in the beginning of the post. This is what I mean.

Bakugou can't cope with the fact that he isn't the best and takes it out on the only target he has. Izuku had nothing to do with his shortcomings, but he still felt the need to establish superiority over him; a grasp for some measure of control.

Like I said above, he's well aware of the power he has over Izuku. Do you think he would have tried this with Todoroki? Or Tokoyami? Or Iida? No, because he knows that none of them would have even dignified him with a response. But he knows he can control Izuku in a way he can't with other people. He feels comfortable treating only Izuku as his emotional and physical punching bag.

The Apology

It's interesting that prior to apologizing for treating him badly, Bakugou proceeds to treat Izuku badly.

This interaction is important because it's their first major conflict after Bakugou's "redemption." We're supposed to be at the point where he's changed. But he still resorts to insults and goading. His first instinct is still to put Izuku down.

I've said most of what I needed to about the apology. But I do want to mention that coming from Bakugou's mouth, it grossly understates what happened during those ten years. Because the abuser is the one telling the story, his transgressions don't seem that bad. He's the one controlling the narrative, so his classmates- Izuku's friends- don't know the full story. They don't know what Bakugou put Izuku through. Bakugou comes off looking sympathetic to their peers by speaking "his truth."

Was this his intention? Probably not as Bakugou doesn't really care what others think about him. But it does raise the point that this is the extent as to how Bakugou sees his past self; as a stubborn, overzealous child and not the abuser that he was

[eisforeidolon]

Question: With your new projects, with Countdown and I guess your guest starring arc on Fire Country, like, why did y'all choose those projects? Specifically, like, what to expect on Countdown, 'cause Jensen, you've done a lot of projects that have been a bit traumatizing, so.

Jensen: Well, expect no different. It's - well, the reason that this show kinda came to be, or I came to be a part of it? So I had a, like, in the wake of The Boys, I signed a deal with Amazon, they wanted to develop a project and kind of develop something with me in mind. So I had a few meetings with different writers and different kind of takes for shows. When I met Derek Haas who created Countdown and has written all thirteen scripts? I just, I clicked with him immediately, he and I are actually grew up in the same town, we went to neighboring high schools, so we had a lot in common right off the bat. But he's just a really great storyteller and he comes from a long line of just writing really kind of intense type of stuff. And so the character that he created, I just, I felt like I could tell that story in the world that he was also creating. And so that lead to more meetings and then that lead to some outlines and I got to read the first script, and I just kind of really - I liked where it was going, I liked the kind of world that he was setting it in and I got excited about it, and so that's kinda what we're doing and where I'm at right now. I was fortunate enough to be in a position to do that and be there from kinda the beginning, the genesis of it all. 'Cause that's not normal for most actors, most actors, it's everything is kind of already cooked and then they come in and they get cast as a role that's already, it's already happening. This I was kind of - not involved creatively? But I was already on the train from the beginning in the station. So that was nice, and it is going to be - there are some twists and turns with this show, there are some big reveals, so to speak, so it's -

Jared: Not his butt.

Jensen: No, no.

Jared: Not just his butt.

Jensen: That's a different show. So I'm excited for you guys to - I'm excited to get it done, we're about half way done with the season right now. I think they're shooting for a June probably release, next summer? And I'm excited to see what you guys think and to see it once it's on its feet.

Jared: Hell yeah, I can't wait, man. For me, Fire Country, per se? Was kind of different. So I spoke for many years, and I know some people have heard this, who have been around for a while? But after Supernatural was done, I wanted to take some time. That's not the way it kinda worked out, 'cause Walker started really quickly and shortly thereafter? But in my head, I wanted to kinda have a couple of years or whatever where I - this sounds very arrogant, but, like, a friend calls and says, hey wanna come work with me, or something? That did work out with Max, who is a buddy of mine, a buddy of Jensen's, and when we found out Walker didn't go, it was like, hey dude, so sorry, you wanna come to Vancouver and play a little bit? And I was like *gasp* this is what I think I've always wanted. Just like uh hey, Kripke, doing anything? Hey Max, doing anything? Hey Jensen, doing anything? Y'know, and kinda hopping in and out. And so it was a fun time, and I spent nineteen straight years as number one on the call sheet, y'know, and that takes a lot. Takes a lot, and I'm not complaining myself, but my friends and family, the way I work, it's kind of all-consuming? I don't do it on purpose, but I wanted to be there - you know, my kids are twelve, ten, and seven and I want to be there for them and help them with homework and help them go to school and to soccer and to piano and to therapy and this and that. And I mean that, like, legit, they go to therapy every week, and I'm very proud of that and I hope they carry it on into adulthood. But I wanted to be [audience cheers] yeah, yeah, yeah. And so with Fire Country, which was three episodes, it was one of those situations where a close friend for a decade said hey you wanna come play in Vancouver in my sandbox, and I was like, yeah, for sure. And so I haven't seen the episodes yet, I did ADR, I meant to watch them last night but got distracted, but I'll watch them and I hope y'all enjoy it. And I can't wait for Countdown.

[eitaababe]

SOMEBODY ELSE !

— chapter 20. not him.

a/n — it's a fun one buckle up lads

series masterlist. | previous / next

written portion below. —

you were pretty sure you were on the brink of insanity.

knowing the conversation that awaited with the male sitting just across the classroom from you made you jitter in your seat, kiri having to calm you down and force you to focus every ten minutes or so.

from the looks on his face, you were almost positive ao'nung knew what was to come, and you hated yourself for it. he was perfect on paper, and always someone you could rely on.

so how could you have it in you to break his heart?

because someway, somehow, neteyam made you feel complete. you couldn't imagine yourself without him, even if you both had your faults. you pushed the guilt aside for just a moment, letting yourself forget what you had to do.

until your professor wrapped up the lecture.

you glanced over at ao'nung, the two of you sharing a nod, and with an exhale, grabbed your things and headed towards the door, waiting for students to file out.

"hey."

you picked your head up to match the familiar voice, sending a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"hi."

"you wanted to talk?"

"i'm sorry," you started out, and ao'nung nodded, and you assumed he already knew. "i'm so sorry— i didn't- eywa i didn't mean for any of it to go this way. i just can't-"

"you can't control how you feel, i get it," he kissed his teeth, looking down at his shoe laces. "it's always been neteyam for you. part of me always knew that. i was just kinda hoping i was wrong. and i know i was out of line when i tried to keep it from you, i should've never done that."

"i shouldn't have blown up on you," you sympathized, heart squeezing when you noticed the soft glaze in his eyes. "but i meant everything i said, when i was with you. i meant everything, and if i could've changed anything to not rope you into this mess i swear i would. i just don't want you to hate me." you finished quietly, hoping he would meet your eye.

"i could never hate you," he smiled sadly, "but i'm gonna be honest— i'm hurt. and i can't talk to you knowing we'll only ever be friends."

you nodded in disappointment, knowing he was right. "i get it," you bit the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say. "if it means anything— i'm sorry. again. and i'm here if you ever need to reach out and need somebody."

"thank you," he shot a grateful look your way, bringing you into an embrace. "and it means everything, y/n." he held you for a moment probably too long, shutting his eyes and pretending that maybe, for just a moment, you were his.

"i'll see you around?" you spoke, squeezing his hand reassuringly when he nodded.

you turned away, walking further and further away from ao'nung, missing the way he stood still, missing your warm embrace.

─── neteyam !

it had been about a week since neteyam's met up with you, and he swear he's going to lose his mind if he has to wait any longer.

and yes, he knows, it was originally his idea to wait and give you time before getting back into another relationship with him, but he's really starting to think how much he took holding you for granted. it didn't help you were busy the past few days, out applying for some jobs, so you two didn't have your daily breakfast trips together.

so he opted for a cup of coffee on his day off, figuring he could get ahead on some of his work rather than procrastinating (probably with you) later on.

with a hot cup of coffee on his left and a notebook on his right, alongside with a computer screen in front of him, neteyam was finally able to buckle down, feeling contempt for the first time in the past few days.

it didn't last for long, when a familiar blonde caught his eye.

attempting to avert his gaze, neteyam practically buried his head in the computer, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand and somehow avoid violet all at once. the plan wasn't foolproof, clearly, as she spotted him almost immediately and invited herself over where she clearly wasn't welcome.

"teyam?"

he winced at the sound of his nickname, it felt almost forbidden not falling from your lips, and your lips only.

"hey, violet."

"i've been texting you, have you been getting them?"

"can't say i have." he lied, not wanting to have another cafe fiasco with the girl.

"that's so weird," she huffed, taking out her phone. "maybe i could just get your number then? so that we don't have any more cross ups."

"violet, look—"

"neteyam," she cut him off, sitting across the table from him and grasping his hands, missing the way he went stiff at her touch. "i know things might have been a little rocky lately, but all couples go through things like this and..."

whatever violet was going on about was lost on him, and time seemed to pause when he saw you, walking through the cafe. you looked like an angel, the sunlight kissing your face and highlighting your features, a smiling gracing you as well.

a smile that quickly faded at the sight of him.

FUN FACTS !

— y/n and lo'ak are planning to apply as baristas at the cafe so when they saw neteyam's post they were going to surprise him there

— violet's starting to suspect neteyam and y/n have something going on so she went to the cafe to talk to neteyam about what they were

— lo'ak saw what was happening inside the cafe and tried to stall y/n before she could walk in the cafe

—

taglist #1 / closed ! @n7ytiri @ilovejakesullysdick @possysblog @love-chx @evphology @afro-hispwriter @ydsm-29 @goldeneywa @doulcha @krazy-kattzz @squid4 @blairrrrrr @neteyamforlife @dreamtogether2000 @444lyra @ambria @cawi00 @calums-betch @powowowy @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @elegantkidfansoul @kolsmikaelson @mirikusashes @yukichan67 @goodiesinthecloset21 @netemoon @teyums @littlethingsinlife @coconut-dreamz @anm3mi @jjkclub @il0veheartz @liyahsocorro @drugs-for-memes @zendayaswrld101 @grierpilots @misscaller06 @lightskinloak @mommyneytiri @inluvwithneteyam @halibanana @iheartamajiki @ipoopedmypants47 @neigesprincess @lookiiheh @ghostjoohoney @ronalsgirl @alwayswndr @khaleesi56 @azaleaniath

[screechingfromthevoid]

I'm obsessed with Robbie and Liam romancing each other constantly like yes yes good.

But I've also been turning Cerkonos and Lieve'tel in my head because of it.

I know there's a lot of angst when it comes to life spans. Especially when it comes to (half) elves and Ashari leaders.

At some point it'll be just be Keyleth and Vex. And then just Keyleth, right? Like idk if we know how old the ashari can get but she is going to outlive all of vm, right? That's like the point?

But elves live for a long ass time? Lieve'tel is already 381. She has about 360 more years. And Cerkonos is here until further notice it seems.

Sure maybe they don't spend the rest of their impossibly long lives together but like? Isn't it nice to have the option? If they wanted to they could. Together they don't have to worry about time moving too quickly. They don't have to worry about watching the other wither while they stay youthful.

Lieve'tel had a fling with Bertrand and he probably wasn't her first bout of love at 350. But she seems to really have really cared for him? And she was his last words? As a cleric for the matron I can't imagine she has a bad relationship with death but how does she feel when it grips someone she cares about? We know the matron wears the mask to hide just how much she cares for each and every soul she ferries. And perhaps Lieve'tel feels that same way her goddess does about death and those who pass on. Especially with her extended life.

So Bertrand dies, she doesn't watch him wither, but she knows when he passes. She is given a dream of it. I wonder how she mourns. How long she mourns. If shes still mourning.

Then, by the same string of fate that brought her and Bertrand together, she is brought to Cerkonos. A man similarly endearing. A little bumbling. Definitely intimidated by her. Sweet.

And he ages like her. Maybe a hair faster.

Maybe that's why Cerkonos shows absolutely no interest in Vesper. In Pike. Their mortality is written all over them.

Robbie made a joke about him "retaining his seed since 28" and like fucking lol first off but also. Keyleth was 23 at the beginning of VM? and she was on her aramente? So depending on how long it took for him to set out on/finish his, has he been celibate this whole time because of the fact that anyone he falls for, anyone he would truly care about, would die in front of him?

Idk elves have a long life span and I'm sure Lieve'tel has had her trists with other elves. But it really is a socially awkward human man that gets her heart. Again they don't have to live their whole lives together, and they probably won't. They each are very important. They have very important positions.

But it must be nice to be able to part and say "until next time" and not really have to worry about how far next time is. Will it be ten years? They haven't aged a day. Will it be a hundred years? Oh, you've gotten slightly gray. Three hundred? My dear, I can see all your smiles I've missed in all these years in the lines on your face.

[kastellaran]

Second Lore Doc Translation

After 4 months I have finally gotten around to translating the second lore doc page that was revealed! Honestly this one was easier because it's shorter, I've had more experience translating spiritual terms now, and I actually already translated quite a few lines of this while talking to a JP fan about lore. Anyway, my notes below:

1.) Utsushiyo: this word, if you said it out loud, would sound to the average Japanese person like 現世, a Buddhist term meaning "this/current life." However, in the Mononoke lore docs, it gets written as 写し世, seemingly meaning something like "copied world." This has been a point of interest for me for a while now, and I'm not exactly sure what it means, though I have an idea. Maybe I'll expound on it in a separate post. Anyway, I kept it untranslated to preserve ambiguity, but for the most part you can read it as "this world/life." 2.) Kenshou: There is actually a Wikipedia page on this. If you're confused or curious by the variety of philosophical/spiritual/etc. terms that get thrown out in this document, I'd recommend googling them, because I am definitely not an expert on them, but they are preexisting concepts that are being referenced to establish the lore of Mononoke. 3.) Condition/normal condition: I don't know if this is referring to something on a page we haven't seen, or what. It's a little unclear to me. Regarding the idea of becoming "concentrated," this is the same verb as in the line from the first released page, "Ten Wings [...] is concentrated within Shuuga..." and refers to something that is "unevenly distributed;" that is, being closer to one thing than another, or more in one area than another. In this case, because of the other information given, I read it like this: We measure the closeness to Shuuga by talking about sinking into deeper karma. For humans, this means becoming closer to death (or more dead?), and as they carry on in this way, they become more on one side than the other.

4.) In the video where this document was shared, the full page actually has an image:

The image is labelled "The Peak of Shuuga (image)." The image I used in my translation is what they posted on twitter, and I would have preferred to use the one with the picture, but it's very low quality.

[auncyen]

what I meant to write: mIrabelle as the one looping having a crying breakdown in the equivalent of act 3 because I thought of it a few days ago and it's been stuck in my head (Panic! at the Dinner Table).

What actually got written: can you imagine how terrible it'd be for another looper to start suspecting Siffrin did something WELL

-

Siffrin has been suspicious for several days.

(Odile might say 'days' is inaccurate, but it's close enough, you think! You start in early afternoon on one day and then, when everything goes well, see Euphrasie in late afternoon of the next day, so it's around a day--sometimes over...many times under. Also, calling them days feels...better. Maybe it's a 'cycle' or 'loop' for everyone else caught up in this, with them always being reset to the same places, the same lines until you start changing things, but you are moving through time. You're Changing.)

(You're changing, aren't you?)

(For the better?)

--Siffrin has been suspicious for several of your days. They still act like their friendly self--they've even gifted you a flower sometimes! (You suppose other times you might have been too abrupt in waking them up. And sometimes you haven't woken them up at all, because you realize they'll come to the Clocktower anyway. They all will, it's where you're staying. You couldn't come up with anything more creative than a sleepover?) But...something's off.

You first realized something was strange about Siffrin--well, a lot of things are strange about Siffrin. You're more worried about his memory than ever now. Whenever you go into that secret room for the stash of tonics, Siffrin starts talking about a time he ran away from home, only to suddenly stop and look confused. You've tried encouraging him to continue by reminding him of everything he said up to that point (Isabeau applauded your thorough recitation with the most lightheartedness he could muster while still looking Siffrin over with his own concern), but it doesn't jog anything. You've tried guiding Siffrin to tell the story a different way with questions, but it seems like he loses the thread even faster that way. Lately you've just...cut him off from telling the story by laughing as soon as he brings it up and mentioning how mad his parents must have been when he returned. Siffrin still looks confused and lost for a terrible moment when you say that, but then he grins and agrees, and surely he's agreeing because that's what actually happened, isn't it? He said he was playing a prank. He played a silly prank for an hour or two, and then he went home, and probably he got a scolding for it but everything was fine.

...You still. Would like to avoid that room in the future. To not see that scared, lost look on Siffrin. Maybe you're strong enough now that you don't need the tonics?

But, but, you need to focus. Siffrin's memory problems are strange and worrying, and you really wished they'd said sooner how bad it is instead of letting you all tease them about it, but what's suspicious is their connection to the King.

You're not entirely sure what it is. When you go to the King, he always singles Siffrin out. "Bright One...do you remember?"

Obviously, with the already-mentioned memory problems, the answer is No. You've tried asking Siffrin if they know the King in any way, but of course he says no? Even if they knew each other once, Siffrin could have forgotten him the same way he can't remember what happened when he went out on the ocean in a boat to prank his parents? You imagined a tragically doomed romance between a villain and a hero with partial amnesia from an injury earned in one of their past scuffles (why is Siffrin's memory that bad???) for all of ten seconds before you realized that if Siffrin could forget the King, he'll surely forget boring, stagnant Mirabelle as soon as he leaves. After that you were too depressed to imagine anything between Siffrin and the King, which was probably for the better. Especially considering...

One time, the King singled out Siffrin in a different way. A terrible way. The first loop--the first day after you defeated the King and got to see Euphrasie for a glimpse of happiness before being sent back--you'd lost your temper a bit. You'd pushed everyone to go through the House faster than any time before, brought back to your senses at the end of the second floor by Odile dryly commenting on her tired feet while giving a pointed look at Bonnie, who was obviously getting worn out. You'd apologized over and over, and chewed your nails off at the second snack break to let them take all the time they needed to recover their energy, and went through the third floor without saying anything to rush Siffrin. You'd kept your temper in check until you saw the King again, and then you'd accused him of being a cheat, an unchanged loser who couldn't accept defeat, and he'd let your venting wash over him with a calm indifference ("I do not know what you speak of, Housemaiden") until you told him exactly what you were speaking of--the time that kept turning back, again and again, the days the loops the returns--

His face is mostly obscured by his long hair, but you could tell by the way his head turned that he'd directed his attention to Siffrin, and you knew it was with a glare by the cold fury in his voice. "What have you done, Bright One. The Universe's will is with me."

And then

the king struck

and Siffrin--

You don't speak to the King anymore. You don't let him talk either. You're pretty sure he told you everything you'd want to know from him. He can use Time Craft, but he isn't the one holding you in these endless days. He thinks Siffrin can use Time Craft, which sounds ridiculous, but since then you've talked with the Change God (you'd wanted reassurance you'd wanted a sign your statue was the only one unbroken in the whole House and you touched its face in reverence and the Change God spoke to you) and they'd told you three things:

you're their favorite!

they're put out by Dormont being stagnant and unchanging, but they're excited to see how exactly you change (maybe being their favorite isn't good. Your favorite characters go through some awful things, after all)

Siffrin isn't not responsible for this???

So it makes sense that Siffrin had a hand in this somehow! After a few more days which let you reach Euphrasie, you realized the time reset at the end only happens while Euphrasie is talking to Siffrin! That's suspicious! And, and, you've tried preventing it by keeping Euphrasie from talking to Siffrin, but she is so insistent she'd like to talk to them, and everyone starts looking at you strangely the more you protest, and you just...can't stop it.

You can't stop Siffrin from ruining things.

You hate that you're even suspicious of him, but he won't admit to using Time Craft when you ask, and surely even with his terrible memory, he'd remember that? He doesn't forget everything! But if he's lying, then...

Then you don't know what that means.

You don't know what to do.

--

...What Siffrin did: show Mirabelle how to wish and be an islander recognized by other islanders and not particularly liked by the Change God

[atxxzist]

with a touch of sweetness | c.s

pairing: choi san x f!reader

summary: working at a cafe, you have to deal with a certain customer with dimples who always like his iced coffee extra sweet

genre: fluff, slight angst?

word count: 2.6k

a/n: i should be using this time to write my series but this idea came to me at 1am and i couldn't stop myself sdjskdssfkf

friendly brew

the font isn't too eyecatching, the style is a little bland, and the size of the cafe isn't ideal. but it's right next to a big and bustling university--attracting a lot of customers.

usually young, sleep-deprived college students, but it does well in business despite its shortcomings; a couple regulars who are very loyal, they frequent the place so often, you've come to match names to faces, as well as their usuals.

especially, choi san.

your face drops when you see it's him, trying to reframe from an eye roll as you go to tap the screen, mumbling in such an unenthusiastic tone, "one iced coffee?"

"yes please. and with extra vanilla syrup, please."

you don't say anything, a huff under your breath because you don't know why he always want his extra sweet. the regular one is already too sweet, in your honest opinion.

"thank you, angel."

"don't call me that," you snap quietly, pinching your brows together.

"why not?" his mouth draws a straight line before leaning closer to the counter and settling his arms on it, a smile eventually blossoming on his handsome face that makes those stupid dimples pop out. "you really are one, though. you always make my coffee the way i like it."

"because that's my job," you reply, going on to scribble his name on an empty cup before turning around to scoop up some ice for the drink.

after pouring the brewed coffee onto the cup of ice and milk, not forgetting the extra vanilla syrup as he requested, you place the finished product on the counter again before slapping a lid over it.

"well, then how come yoojung and kangmin never makes it the way i like it?"

you shrug, scooting the drink his direction.

"maybe they just don't like you? i mean, can you blame them?" you try to be snarky, but instead pretty much walked yourself into his trap.

"so... does this mean you like me?" he smirks, the retort immediately whisking your breath away. "because i swear..." he picks up the cup and takes a sip, your eyes innappropriately trailing to his adam's apple before he puts it down again to glare at you.

"you always make it the sweetest." he smiles softly and you hate how your heart dances around in your chest; hate the look in his eyes, and hate how much--

"you haven't even paid for it," you change the subject, trying the very best to hide the effect he has on you because god knows how smug he'll be if he finds out you're also just very good at putting on a performance.

he giggles and searches his pockets, pulling out a ten dollar bill and placing it on the counter.

"keep the change."

he grabs the drink and downs another sip, uttering in that usual sly tone, "thank you again, angel."

the wink before he fully exits is the last thing that does you in. he's so annoying, but like every other times, you can't help but to look forward to his next appearance.

ever since you got hired six months ago, having been a replacement for an older lady who had quit, there's not a single monday, wednesday, or friday that you do not see him. those are the days he comes in.

the boy having sparked an interest in you shortly after the first encounter, finding out the mean ahjumma who never made his drinks the way he likes it--it was always either too bitter or had too much milk--have been replaced by a girl about his age with a pretty smile, and who always makes his drinks exactly the way he prefers it.

"you know, angel, maybe someday, you'll finally draw some hearts around my name," san remarks, observing his name written plainly on the cup.

a dry chuckle tumbles out of you.

"you should be grateful i even wrote your name when i really wanted to put dickhead instead."

he frowns, placing his free hand over his chest and pretends to be in pain.

"ouch. i thought this was friendly brew? you're not being very friendly right now."

your interactions with him typically plays out like that, always with the small banters and playful exchanges; your harsh words and dismissive behaviors countering his that are the complete opposite.

but whenever you hear the bell to the door clink and you see it's him, the butterflies in your stomach along with the tiniest smile that graces your lips always prove otherwise.

"what other names to substitute instead of dickhead? maybe pervert? creep? nuisance?" you cock an eyebrow.

"okay now, that is a reach. i just really really like you."

there's a short silence that befalls when he says that, your eyelashes blinking and the quietest gulp traveling down your throat.

"san, don't say things you don't mean."

"who said i don't mean it?"

"but... i'm mean to you."

his lips quirks to the side, his shoulders shrugging and not moved in the slightest from your statement.

"i don't mind."

"and also, i can't even stand you."

"even better. i love a challenge."

you roll your eyes, bouts of giggles suddenly appearing from behind, turning around and seeing yoojung and kangmin straightening up immediately as if they weren't prying on your conversation with the boy who you have already denied having a crush on.

you absolutely do not like san. not at all.

you just get a little giddy at the sight of him, and lately, you've developed a knack for listening to stories about how his day at campus went, although you always act like you don't care.

and sometimes--not often--but sometimes, your stomach will churn in the weirdest way whenever he'll talk about his female classmates; the worst being when he actually comes with one of them, her eyes full of admiration and his with something you can't quite read but still effective in invoking that pang of jealousy you're in denial of.

but something else so consistent about him aside from his flirty tactics, is the smile on his face never falters. you don't think you can ever recalll a single time he didn't walk into the shop with that idiotic grin.

which is why you know something is off the minute he comes up to the counter and a rather sullen look is his current expression.

"one iced coffee?" you're the one to speak up, and he nods in return, the silence from him is almost too out of character.

he doesn't even seem to be paying much attention when you go on to write his name, his mind seemingly elsewhere, so you take the chance to grab a sticky note to write something on it, sticking it on the cup when finished.

"one iced coffee with extra vanilla syrup."

he fiddles with the pockets of his jacket and gives you eight dollars to be exact. you remember asking him why he would sometimes give more than the cost and he told you it was for the 'service'.

yoojung and kangmin has assured you they never got tipped for their 'service' before.

he picks the drink up and shoots you one last smile, mumbling, "thank you, angel."

you have to remind yourself that san isn't just the cute annoying guy who would always hit on you every time he comes in for his coffee. that he has a life outside of conjuring up butterflies and pestering you, he's going to have bad days and you shouldn't overthink so much.

next time he comes in, it will be with that idiotic grin alongside those pleas that's become a permanent residency in your head.

except... he doesn't.

not this wednesday and not the following friday.

you see wooyoung the next monday, recognizing him as san's friend the few times he came with him to grab a cup of americano.

it's a constant battle whether you should or should not ask about his friend who'd usually pay you weekly visits, but now all of a sudden dropping off the face of earth.

eventually, you settle for should not, bidding wooyoung the customary parting; a melancholy feeling brewing when there's no sight of the black-haired boy with sharp eyes and dimples on wednesday, as well.

it's a known, rather unspoken fact that you always look forward to the showing of san, no matter how pestering and annoying he is with his attempts that makes you want to roll your eyes all the way to back of your head, the small ten to fifteen minutes exchange you'd have with him were always the highlight of your shift.

if he has given up or found someone else who makes his coffee even better, you think it'd be nice to get a proper notice at least.

friday shifts are usually your favorite because there's no tedious routine you have to follow, like commuting from class a good couple minutes away; you get to rest on the weekend after, and you start early, so you get out early, allowing the remaining of the day to be spent however you'd like.

the hour and a half left before you get to clock out is slow, the counters being wiped over and over again because you're trying to kill time, bending over and under to get spots you think you might have missed, when you hear the sound of footsteps approaching.

"welco--"

the word cuts short and the towel in your clutch drops onto the counter, your eyes only able to stare ahead in a starstruck gaze at the person before you, your heart doing laps but at the same time, there's a wave of relief that comes over.

"hi." san smiles, his messy black hair slightly falling over his eyes and the gray hoodie he's wearing clipped under his backpack makes him look like the college boyfriend you wish you had.

you swallow a knot, playing it cool.

"darn, i thought i finally got rid of you for good."

san chuckles... damn him for being so good looking.

"oh, i know you were miserable, yearning for that something that was missing from your everyday life."

"please..." you dismiss, actually hating how much truth it holds.

"you're not going to ask why i was gone?" he pouts.

you lowly sigh in annoyance, though the question has been plaguing your mind ever since his mysterious disappearance.

"okay... why were you gone?" you try to contain the tone, afraid you just might let the eagerness slip through.

"i was sick."

you raise an eyebrow in concern.

"oh... well... how are you now?"

his eyes swell innocently, genuinely surprised by the softer voice.

"a lot better now. thank you for asking, angel." he cracks a tiny smile.

oh, how you have come to miss such a nickname that used to raise your blood pressure just because you haven't heard it in over a week.

"i thought you have officially ran away or maybe you found a better shop."

he retracts with an offended scowl on his face.

"never. i would never do that to you."

you fight off a smile, quick to tap the screen and divert the subject.

"one iced coffee?"

"well, yes, but actually," he fidgets in his spot, "i was thinking if you want to uh... hang out after your shift?"

you look up from the screen to glare at him.

"huh?" you heard him, you just... want to make sure.

he's always flirted with you shamelessly, but actually asking you out is something he's never tried before. of course he's had a few impulses but have always reframed from acting on them, until now.

"i'm asking if you want to do something together. cause you know... just figured we can catch up. when you're done with your shift, of course."

the longest stare-off between you and him ensues shortly after, and you think for the first time, san might be growing shy.

you chuckle quietly, breaking the silence, and a smile blossoming on your lips.

"i get off in about an hour and a half."

"perfect. i'll come back then."

you find san seated on a nearby bench when you're out, watching the way he whips his head side to side to admire the scenery.

"your coffee," you announce, your arm stretched out, and he snaps to you immediately, eyes scanning over your attire.

he's never seen you in anything other than your work uniform. he thinks you look even prettier with that sweater vest and pair of jeans. but then, you're always too pretty for your own good.

"extra sweet?" he asks, all playfully.

"extra sweet," you reply, taking the seat next to him and observe as he goes to confirm it.

"doesn't taste like it."

you scoff. "well, maybe you have officially lost your taste bud."

he hums and scoots even closer to you, the side of his leg touching yours.

"that would require more testing. maybe you can help? bet you taste sweeter than anything. i wonder how it would be, to kiss an angel."

an even louder scoff falls from you.

"don't flatter me. and i'm not kissing you."

he laughs and shakes his head.

"i'm not lying when i say that. i was honestly having such a shitty time, having been denied an internship i really wanted, only to get sick not even a day after."

the amusement on you is fast to dissipate, replaced by a look of sympathy.

"oh... was that why you looked so down that day?"

he smiles rather lightly.

"yeah. but it's whatever. i'll just try again next time or apply for a different one."

there's a moment of the birds chirping high in the sky and the sound of pedestrians walking until you speak again.

"sorry to hear..."

you feel bad for him, understanding the feeling all too well; like you're incompetent and not good enough. on top of that, he even got sick afterward.

"i always knew you cared about me," he says, breaking all the empathy bones in your body--you having to settle for a major eye roll.

"pfft."

"you know... when i sick, i always looked back to your note and it always made me feel a little better afterward despite quite literally dying in bed."

a sheer chuckle bubbles out of you at the confession.

"i don't believe you," you tell him.

he looks you straight in the eye and shakes his head, vouching for his honesty.

"i'm forreal. look, i even brought it with me today."

your eyebrows furrow together as you watch him search his hoodie with his free hand, pulling the familiar piece of paper out of one of the pockets, still able to comprehend the black ink you were responsible for.

i added just the littlest bit more of vanilla syrup bc you seemed a little down. not too much though bc i'm already worried abt ur glucose level. but hope u feel better soon.

"you're... crazy."

the temperature on your cheeks heats up like crazy, san witnessing them in action as they turn a bright shade of pink, unable to help the lovesick smile that breaks out on his face.

then another stare-off follows, the longest silence hanging between you two that both badly wants to break but too unsure how.

you take the opportunity to admire his features; his keen jawline, sharp eyes, and oh... the slit in between one of his eyebrows that makes him look extra attractive.

then your gaze travels to his lips. plumped, luscious, and just waiting to be taken in--and it must've been how you've been wanting to kiss him for so long now, that one second you're apart, and the next, your lips are stilled against his when you go to place a peck on them.

pulling away, you search him for a reaction; he's a bit dazed and stunned, until the corners of his mouth turns and a soft smile overtakes his expression.

"you really are an angel sent from heaven."