#best friend!barty

[ellecdc]

Battered by Baggage

poly!marauders x whimsical!reader who the boys cannot find [1k words]

prompt by @atlass8: "Reader has a suitcase like Newt Scamander and she probably busy doing something in there but our boys don't know about it and can't find her. barty being our bestie he knows where reader is but doesn't tell anyone cause he likes chaos. tho their reaction to the suitcase would be amazing" -> scenario by @unstablereader

CW: Crouch Sr reference but it's chill, fem!reader

“She may have gotten lost, Pads.” Remus placated without raising his gaze from his book, though he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been staring at the same two passages as he fretted over your whereabouts as well.

“How could she be lost, Moony? We’re on a train, it has only two directions.” Sirius pressed.

“She is always wandering off…” James considered as he peered out the window, though he didn’t seem particularly confident in his statement. 

“We always sit in this compartment.” Sirius insisted. “She knows that, everyone knows that. She’s supposed to meet us here.”

“And she will, bubs.” James offered him, pulling the long-haired boy into his side and pressing his nose into his jaw. “She keeps her promises.”

Remus hardly had a moment to smile at his boyfriends when the compartment door was flung open unceremoniously. 

The three boys deflated significantly when the head that was poking into their train compartment was not that of their sweet albeit perhaps more than slightly whimsical girlfriend, but that of her very much maniacal best friend. 

“Not one looker in the bunch.” Barty scoffed with a shake of his head. 

“Yeah, well the average of this compartment will greatly improve once you sod off.” Sirius muttered rather petulantly as he crossed his arms, taking a moment to remind himself how upset you would be if you found out he had hexed your friend. 

“Whatever.” Barty sighed as if he was really quite bored of this conversation that he had started. “Tell Treasure we’re looking for her.”

“Yeah, that’ll be the first thing we say when we find her Junior.” Sirius scoffed sarcastically, earning him a very bemused expression from Barty before his eyes flit up to the overhead luggage. 

“Merlin, you really wouldn’t know what's right above you, would you?” He sighed in exasperation then, closing the door before anyone could respond and stalking off down the train. 

“He’s a weird bloke.” James let out with a breath, relaxing somewhat into his seat now that the unwelcome company had vacated.

“What did he mean that we wouldn’t know what’s sitting right above us?” Remus murmured to himself just as the train veered a corner and a few bags fell from the overhead compartment; one landing on Sirius’ head before landing on the ground with a thud. 

“Whose bag is that?” James asked as he craned his neck to peer at it over Sirius.

“It’s gonna go out the bloody window.” Sirius muttered as glared at the offending bag and massaged his head. 

Before Sirius could act on his revenge, the bag began to wiggle and shift before you came tiptoeing out of it with a yawn.

“There you boys are!” you greeted excitedly as if they hadn’t just spent the last however long worried you had missed the bloody train to Hogwarts.

“There we are!? What- what the hells?” Sirius sputtered. 

You seemed rather confused at Sirius’ theatrics and turned to look at Remus quizzically. 

“We’ve been looking for you, baby dove.” he murmured as he pulled you down so you were tucked into his side on the bench beside him. 

“Oh,” you giggled, “well I wasn’t very far, Siri; I was only taking a nap.” 

The three boys stared at you; Remus who had decided long ago to stop trying to understand you and just appreciate your antics, James who looked like he was trying to decide between being elated at finally having you here and scolding you for worrying him so, and Sirius who was still clearly very caught up on the whole matter. 

“A nap?” Sirius deadpanned.

“Right.”

“In a bag.”

“Mhm.” You hummed happily; smile beaming as you leaned further into Remus’ side. Merlin, he loved you. 

James let out a nervous chuckle as he placed a reassuring hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Sweetheart, I’m afraid we’re going to need more details.”

“Dumbledore said I was allowed to keep the nifflers but they weren’t allowed to roam the school; I guess they had stolen from Slughorn a few too many times.” You explained easily.

“You have nifflers?” Remus asked you then, to which he was rewarded with you smiling shyly up at him. 

“Well, they were Barty’s first; his father is involved with poaching and trading beasts and creatures, so Barty stole them from him and brought them to school.”

“And Junior just…released them on the grounds?” Sirius asked.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” You repeated.

The three boys waited for you to explain more, but when it became clear that you weren’t going to, Remus gave you a nudge.

“Where did Junior release them?” He asked you sweetly. 

“Gryffindor tower.”

“That son of a bitch.” Sirius muttered as he no doubt started considering the amount of accessories he had lost last term. 

“So, let me get this straight.” James started as he reached over and took your hand in his. “Crouch Senior poached and was trying to trade a pack of nifflers.” He paused for you to nod. “So Junior stole them.” Another nod. “And brought them to school where they wreaked havoc and then Dumbledore moved to ban them from school property.”

“Right.” You agreed happily, squeezing James’ hand in yours in praise of his correct deduction.

Remus watched as James melted slightly in his quasi-interrogation in order to smile at you before the bag vibrated again. 

“And now they all just…live in here?” He asked as he brought the bag over and pulled the two sides apart slightly in an attempt to peer inside.

“I’d be careful Jamie; Sirius’ earrings look quite expensive.” You suggested breezily, smiling at Sirius as if you hadn’t just sort of threatened his belongings.

He couldn’t be mad at you, though; not for his stress over your whereabouts, not for your slightly rude entrance, and certainly not for your caring nature which resulted in you toting around a bag of pilfering thieves.

And he certainly couldn’t be mad at you when you looked so sodding sweet pressed up against Remus’ side as if that was simply where you were meant to be. 

And he definitely wouldn’t be mad if he could convince you to take care of the growing lump on his head as a ruse to get to cuddle you all by himself tonight.

Nope, Sirius really couldn’t find it in him to be mad at all.

[etherealriver]

Sometimes I wonder if people used to get Barty and Evan mixed up at Hogwarts. Not because they looked similar, but because since first year their names had always been said together. It was always "bartyandevan are late for class," "bartyandevan are getting snacks," "bartyandevan are terrorizing twelve-year-olds." A lot of their classmates weren't sure which was which, because they always seemed to come as a unit.

[politicalstreetartt]

Barty "manic-depressive, ptsd, self destruction addict, doesn't know how to love because hes never experienced it, can it really be called daddy issues if he doesn't consider himself his father's son?, drug dependent, suicidal moron, but really smart when he tries" Crouch Jr.

Evan "I can fix him (I'm worse)" Rosier

[bowiesversion]

"He was my best friend, and that was the worst part" -James about Peter

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Tomarry AU where Tom HATES this book he read because his favourite character dies a miserable death. So what if his favorite character was a no-named side villain? Why does it matter that he only had like seven lines (seven is Tom's favourite number anyways)? He was still gorgeous, smart and strong and beautiful — and it doesn't matter that others think he isn't all that because they would never know him— understand him like TOM DOES.

An AU where Tom has a healthy obsession with a character named Harry Potter, a no named baron's son who was the first to go against the king (MC's father, and the mc who is incidentally known as Draco Malfoy, ahem anyways); he tries to “poison” him. But he gets caught or to be more precise he ends up sacrificing himself for the common girl Hermione Granger (the female lead, I'm sorry guys but imagine the fucking drama.) who gets blamed for his transgressions.

But that is not why Tom falls for this weak villain, no — it's because he respects how this no-named orphan became a baron on his own two feet without anyone being there for him especially in a world where old money and title is everything— and he hates how he had to give his life for the MC to notice the female lead? (Harry is better looking and smarter than her anyways — Tom, in an online forum perhaps.)

Anyways, now imagine Tom dying (he hated it so yes he ends up looking for immorality anyways.) and waking up in the world he hated. Now imagine, Tom Riddle, waking up in the body of a Duke who wasn't even given a name in the novel. (He would know because he has a photographic memory, ok? It's totally not because he read it more than 14 times) and then saying fuck it and owning it.

Just think, Tom taking over the world slowly with his worldly knowledge while trying to keep Harry alive because even though he was right about Harry being smart; the guy treats his life like Draco treats his money - you get the idea.

[deathnguts]

Peak Barty and the skittles characterization in au’s is having the rest of the skittles be cryptids or something adjacent and him being the disturbed teen average human that stumbled upon them and was quickly accepted as one of their own because if you really think about it that’s what happened at hogwarts too

[bri-cheeses]

“Have you ever been in love?”

The question seems to take Evan by surprise. “What?”

Barty repeats the question, shifting up into a sitting position. His hands dig into the ground, still damp from last night’s rain. “Have you ever been in love?”

There’s a beat of silence. Then, looking down at his feet, Evan quietly answers, “Yes.”

Suddenly, Barty is mad at himself for asking. He can’t even say why he asked in the first place; he simply had the thought, and being the impulsive person he is, he asked without thinking. Now he wishes he hadn’t, if only to have avoided this odd burning in his chest caused by Evan’s answer. And really, he should drop the topic, based on downcast tint to Evan’s response, but he can’t seem to let it go. So instead, he presses the issue.

“When?” he asks, looking intently at Evan.

At that, Evan looks to his left, purposely avoiding eye contact with Barty. He stubs out his cigarette on the grass next to him, a thin curl of smoke rising up from it as he does so. “A long, long time ago.” His voice is dark with something Barty can’t name.

“Did it end well?”

Evan cuts him a look. “Who said it ended?”

At his words, something twists inside Barty. Suddenly there’s a lump in his throat as he works to get out his next sentence. “Well, you said a long time ago. So I thought that it was a, uh, past thing.”

“Yeah. It was a long time ago. When I… fell in love.”

Barty knows he’s the one who started this conversation, but he really hates the way Evan says love in reference to some mystery person. At least he used past tense, though, meaning it’s a thing of the past.

“So what happened?” Barty questions.

“They didn’t want me in the way I wanted them. Still don’t want me that way.” There’s something bitter in Evan’s tone, and he’s gone back to refusing to look at Barty. In contrast, Barty stares at him intently. He feels as though he’ll be able to see through Evan’s exterior and into his insides, where all his secrets are hidden, if he only looks hard enough.

“Who was it?”

“Does it matter?” Evan’s voice is biting as he sharply turns his head back towards Barty.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Barty leans back onto his elbows, tearing his gaze from Evan. It’s almost comical how their positions have changed; now, Evan stares at Barty, and Barty looks out over the lake in an effort to avoid his gaze.

“It was no one important, okay?”

“Oh.” Something settles in Barty when he hears that, even if Evan’s tone contrasts with his dismissive words. “They were—still are—an idiot, though. Just for the record.”

Evan laughs in that disbelieving way of his, as if he’s sharing an inside joke with himself. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Barty says definitively. “I mean, you’re perfect. And whoever can’t see that is an idiot.”

“Perfect?”

“Yup.” Barty means it, too.

“Yeah, well,” Evan scoffs, “it isn’t good enough for them. So it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, you’re good enough for me,” Barty says hotly. “So don’t worry about that idiot. Because you and me? We’re best friends, and you’ll always be good enough for me. You know that, right?”

Evan is avoiding Barty’s gaze again. He picks at the grass next to him, focusing on that instead. “Right,” he says somewhat bitterly.

“I mean it,” Barty insists. “You are.”

Evan looks at him, smiling sadly. “Thanks, Bee. But it’s getting cold. I think I’ll head back inside if that’s all right with you.”

“I—okay. Yeah, uh, sure.”

With that, Evan gets up and begins the walk back to the castle. Barty watches him go, thinking their entire exchange over.

He’s not entirely sure where the conversation went sour enough to get Evan to leave, but clearly something must’ve caused his abrupt departure. Even if Barty had thought he had said the right things to get Evan to cheer up again. He had meant what he said, too; Evan always would be good enough for him. Barty honestly couldn’t imagine a better best friend.

So Evan shouldn’t, Barty thinks heatedly, have ever been hung up on some random person who couldn’t even see how amazing he is.

Barty continues to sit there, close to the shore of the lake, and watches Evan’s retreating form. And as he watches Evan reach up to wipe at his eyes, trying and failing to act like it was nonchalant gesture, he resolves to find out who Evan was talking about. And he’s going to make them, whoever it may be, pay for how they hurt Barty’s best friend.

[valoflunar]

dangerously codependent bartylus who blur every line between platonic and romantic ever

[foursaints]

barty rarepairs .. i don't ship it but barty x mary? the pretty popular girl with self-esteem issues and the sleazy academic weapon with a convoluted sense of self ........ hm

hmm 4/10 solely because i don't think mary macdonald would ever touch that man with a 10ft pole 😭

however these two could be FANTASTIC as codependent best friends in a modern au. sloppy, sparkly, and outrageous!! mary macdonald is loud and hilarious and refreshingly warm in a way that charms everyone around her positively silly. she wears flip-flops and cork-wedge espadrilles, strappy victoria's secret bras underneath ribbed cotton tanktops, headscarves and sundresses and fur coats.

she meets barty crouch jr freshman year, when he locks himself out of his first-floor dorm room and drunkenly mistakes her open window for his. he climbs shirtless into her dorm at 3am, only to be met with a very angry mary in a lacy pink robe and bunny slippers, brandishing a hairbrush like a weapon. 

& from that moment they're inseparable. YEAH THIS IS GOOD

[marauders-bs]

dorcas headcanons? :D

I LOVE DORCAS

she's the only one of the skittles with a half-decent home life, but she's the most traumatized of the whole gang, above even dora and reg.

she's also the funniest. dark humor and jokes that are mean enough to make kids cry is just her thing and it scared the fuck out of lily because she's so unassuming

she has a dagger collection and it's just another thing that scared the fuck out of lily

barty is her ride or die, bestie for the restie, platonic love of her life. they took a blood oath in the forbidden forest in second year n they have vials of each other's blood

she was the first person to dye marlene's hair n she was the reason marlene did it.

she had a sexuality crisis on the bathroom floor after emmeline vance kissed her and the only person she's ever told about it is barty

big spoon

only people who don't know her call her cas or cassie. to marlene n the skittles n her other friends, she's dor or dorc.

she doesn't use pet names for anyoe except pandora and no one knows why. literally everyone uses pet names for pandora tho

she smells... like if yellow had a scent? sort of citrusy but infused with something else.

she shave the underside and sides of her hair and then kept doing it because it felt right like pandora's shitty wolf cut felt right

[ellecdc]

HIII!!!!!!!!! first off i wanna say - I LOVEEEEE ALLLLLLLL THE RECENT WORKS SM i came back and i was reading through them and they're soooooo good ur so talented omgomomg

ok so request (take ur time if u want!!) idk if u write platonic fics but i really really love how u write barty and that one fic where reader and reg were fighting and she was bsfs with barty- i loved it smmmmm so can we please get some platonic barty x reader being the main focus? (i dont mind anyyy romantic pairings i just want best friend barty being absolutely insane plsplsplpslsl

of course MY LOVE; this request is from back in March hahaha sorry

poly!moonwater x fem!reader who they find in bed with Barty

CW: fluff, swearing

Regulus had spent the last umpteen years believing himself to be a light sleeper, likely thanks to growing up in a house straight out of a muggle horror film where his fight or flight reflexes were always at the ready to flee from any danger. It appeared, though, that being,  like, loved by and feeling safe with the people you surround yourself with could do wonders to a person’s subconscious…

Who knew?

This meant that though Regulus was typically a light sleeper, he seemed to have slept through your departure from his bed in the Slytherin boys’ dormitory.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to sleep through the sudden jolt Remus caused in the bed as he sat up and began panickedly feeling around the bed. 

“What’re you doing?” Regulus groaned as he pulled his pillow over his head and rolled onto his side in order to point his back towards his - currently skating-on-thin-ice - boyfriend. 

“Where’s dovey?” Remus hissed back; an urgent quality taking over his words that Regulus could tell it was far too early to be dealing with.

“What d’you mean?”

Remus groaned in exasperation as he cast a lumos with his wand. “I mean where is our girlfriend, you sod.”

“Have you checked with Barty?”

Regulus almost allowed sleep to pull him back into its sweet, sweet embrace before Remus ruined it again.

“What?”

“Barty, Remus. Have you checked with Barty?” Regulus repeated irritably.

“No? What? Why would I have checked with Junior?” Remus sputtered, though his asinine question was answered by none other than Barty himself.

“Finders keepers mother fuckers.” He snickered quietly.

Remus ripped open the curtain of Regulus’ four poster bed in the Slytherin dungeons to see you sleeping quite peacefully on the opposite side of Barty who was grinning arrogantly at your two boyfriends. 

“What!?” 

“She was too hot over there; I can feel the heat radiating off of you from here, Lupin. What the fuck is that about?”

“She could have taken a blanket off!” Remus argued petulantly.

“You kept tucking her back in saying she was going to catch a cold.” Regulus added helpfully sleepily.

Barty snickered at Remus’ disbelieving scoff. 

“No. Absolutely not; Junior, give me our girlfriend back.” He demanded.

This time it was Barty’s turn to scoff. “Would you shut the fuck up, Lupin; we’re trying to sleep over here.”

And to Remus’s absolute horror, you seemed to stir at the conversation causing you to reach an arm over Barty’s chest and rest your head on his shoulder before you settled back into a restful slumber. 

“Leave her be, Rem.” Regulus chided, causing Remus to divert his malcontented glare to his boyfriend.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’re always going on and on about how we need to prioritize sleep; she’s doing that.” He explained simply.

“With him!” Remus nearly shrilled, earning him a ‘shut up you stupid sod’ from said girlfriend stealer.

“Well would you rather have both of us be tetchy tomorrow for having our beauty sleep interrupted, or just me!?” Regulus finally barked, pulling his pillow away from his face to shoot Remus a stern glare. 

Remus seemed to consider his options before he begrudgingly relented and sunk back under the covers with a very petulant harumph.

“She’s going to smell like him tomorrow.” He pouted as he pulled Regulus into his arms possessively. 

Regulus sighed and nuzzled further into Remus’ neck. “You can fix that tomorrow.”

Regulus felt the tension in Remus’ body relax as he no doubt imagined all the ways he would be doing just that.

[dungeonbookclub]

This is the only acceptable vibe of Regulus and Evan

[adharastarlight]

barty: I wish someone would look at me like i look at a menu

evan: at least a menu has something to offer

@ravensire

@70swizards

[jjkyaoi]

btw bartylus to me are crazily codependent and obnoxious best friends like james and sirius. but like. u js don’t know notice it cause they’re a lot more begrudging about it but i swear to you. listen to me

barty is constantly around regulus. if you’re looking for regulus u better be prepared to find barty. or find him a couple steps behind. regulus only feels comfortable in a room full of people he doesn’t know if barty’s there too. barty threw away everything to follow regulus once he got the dark mark. barty lost his fucking MIND when regulus died. regulus is allowed to make fun of barty whenever and however he pleases but if anyone else he doesn’t know does it he gets incredibly insanely annoyed. barty would have burned the world down if regulus asked. regulus would let him. they’re probably dating but also nobody knows what the fuck is going on in their relationship ever. the first time they got high they made out. barty, if asked who he would fuck marry or kill, would choose to fuck regulus. regulus would choose to fuck barty. they had a “if the two of us don’t get with anyone we should get together” promise that went on for years. they

[keepmyh3art]

the drowning // a regulus black story

we all know the story of icarus and how he fell in love with the sun. he had to get closer, to touch it, but his wings melted and he met the ocean on the bottom of the pit inside of his heart.

regulus black remembers the touch of sirius’ hand on his as he is pulled underneath.

his breath taken away from him just like his big brother.

he can’t think, his thoughts are silenced by the screaming and the thrashing. it’s his screaming, and it’s him trying to find his way to the surface.

regulus swallows the water, it’s in him. it is him. he opens his mouth to scream, but no sound comes out.

he doesn’t want to die, not here, not alone.

he is being pulled underneath by the inferi but all he can think is that these are the ghosts that have haunted him since he was born.

these are the monsters he knew were inside of him, that he was being killed by his own thoughts, he knew it was his fate.

regulus sees the surface and it is so close but so far away, oh james, forgive me for all the things i did but most importantly for what i did not do.

he swims, and he kicks and he bites but he does manage to reach the surface. they grab his hands and he wants to scream, “please, please don’t touch my hands, they are his, it’s all i have left. let me die with him by my side like the day i was born”.

he wants to scream. he tries, he does not.

his big brother will show up, he always does. he will save him. any minute now sirius will waltz in and hold him as if he was just a little kid, maybe he is.

he cannot breathe, his lungs hurt and his legs are burning. regulus cannot see, they cover his eyes and all he can do is feel his heart stop beating.

regulus dies alone, he wonders if the dirt he will be buried in will feel just like sirius’ embrace.

no one will find his body, there is no funeral and no dirt to be buried in, it is like regulus black had never existed.

but he will wait, he will wait in the murky water for his big brother to come save him.

[deathnguts]

Ok but rosestarkiller where EVAN AND REGULUS started dating first.