#i don't have a choice abt work trips!!!

[lettersiarrange]

Me: I'll be able to recover from my nightmarish 3 months after I finish this 2 week work trip

Me: [gets covid on the 2 week work trip]

💀

[analog-kidd]

If Fire Emblem Had Tumblr Part 2

(part 1)

🪙annablr-staff ☑️

Introducing New Features!

Keep reading

🔪v-a-n-t-a-g-e Follow

WTF ARE THESE NEW FEATURES????

ARE YOU TRYING TO SCAM US????

😈fallenwyvern Follow

this is annablr ofc theyre gonna try and scam us

#smh new users bitching abt annablr are so annoying #yeah no shit its a scam

(946,199 notes)

💜mlm-sewer-assassin Follow

Gods why are the men from Tellius so hot!?!

Like look

ugggggggggghhhhhhhlsslcdk;nakc king cainegusdisisudapdaso sooo hottttt 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

🦁the-real-king-of-beasts☑️ Follow

I'll take that as a complement haha

💜mlm-sewer-assassin Follow

(110,119 notes)

🐴cantocantocantocanter Follow

*Edit* I know on other continents archers can promote to other things but I was thinking about Ylisse, Elyos, and Magvel when making this poll

💘no-i-wont-shut-up Follow

in valentia and fodlan snipers promote into bow knights 😎

🏰armored-general Follow

CAN MOUNTED UNITS SHUT UP ABOUT BEING "THE BEST CLASS"!!!!

NO YOUR NOT!!!!

🪶lighterthanafeather Follow

Youre just jealous that we have a bigger movement range

🏰armored-general Follow

NO IM NOT!

and whats that mov gonna do when you get one rounded by a lvl 6 fighter cause your winged donkey falls apart by a light breeze

🪶lighterthanafeather Follow

Sorry! Can't hear you with that 4 mov!

#armors stop being slow challenge (impossible)

(1,109 notes)

🔫tastemyfeglock Follow

Ugh,, can breidablik STOp summoning fredrick???

I already summoned like 7 of him today!!!

🪨pickagodandprey Follow

what??????? who's breidablik??? why am I being summoned??? I am right here next to my lord in his castle, I'm confused???????

🔫tastemyfeglock Follow

GO AWAY!!! YOURE USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

🪨pickagodandprey Follow

Excuse me?? I don't even know you!

🪚sidecharater121 Follow

Hey look! A Fredrick that hasn't been summoned yet

(553 notes)

⚜️youngknightnight Follow

Sorry guys for being inactive for so long,,

I was having family issues,,

basically I'm a sword knight about to promote and I wanna be able to use bow upon promotion but my fucking parents keep insisting on axes but I don't wanna use axes!

They keep saying that "axes are sooooo much better than bows" "we encounter so many lance users, why don't you want that advantage?" or "bows only works at two range, why do you want to be defenseless at one range?" bro stfu let me live! I just wanna use bows OKAY?!

Sorry everyone its just been a lot.

#elitists dni #or I will cut you

(39 notes)

🌠thracianstar Follow

found this weird looking lance an enemy dropped while on my trip in Fodlan.

Gonna try an use it in the next battle!

🎏h-o-l-l-o-w-v-e-s-s-a-l Follow

uhhhh op? I don't recommend using that lance unless you have a crest but your post implies you're not from Fodlan soo uh

don't fucking use it if you wanna live

🐟fishphish Follow

op? op are you there? OP??

🦴️armorcrusher Follow

OP?!?!? OP!!!!!!!!!????? ANSWER US OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(437 notes)

🥩singingnmeat Follow

this is the best thing in the world on divine dragon

❤️️crimsonrider Follow

#this is something my wyvern would say if he could talk #anyways #back to hating on my brother

(391 notes)

💚blueplusyellowunit Follow

I found this blueish-white wyvern near Crimea but it wouldn't let me ride it!

It started to thrash around, I had to stop when it started breathing fire

ik you just can't tame a wild wyvern without a lot of time, but the wyvern looked so pretty😭😭😭😭

💭dragon-ggilf Follow

WAIT WAS THAT YOU WHO TRIED TO RIDE ME?!?!?

YOU ALMOST RIPPED OUT ONE OF MY HORNS WHILE TRYING MOUNT ME!!!!

ASSHOLE!!!!

💚blueplusyellowunit Follow

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE NOT A WYVERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry

(2,330 notes)

😉sranks Follow

I tried to use his lance but my rank was D

😉sranks Follow

easy website

(24,998 notes)

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

gonna use the devil axe,

wish me luck!

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

I'm liking my odds!!

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

cleic

(492 notes)

👺foxythings Follow

Swords are the worst weapon type in my kitsune opinion

🗡theawesomemerc Follow

kys

#you dont even use weapons wtf #how tf should you know

(97 notes)

[number1greedlingfan]

Hi! As someone who loved all those recent headcannons covering fma’s cast and the ones about the chimeras - Heinkel and Darius specifically - I wonder if you had any more you’d thought up about those two? I don’t blame you if it’s not a ton, but curious!

HI HELLO HI YOU WILL REGRET ASKING ME ABT THIS EHEHE ☺️

ok I've made a post about this one before but:

Darius and Heinkel are actually chill with Greed. He's a little strange but he's easy to understand and he's oddly... chummy with them right off the bat. The one thing they don't really get about him is his fascination with Ling Yao, who is deceptively unsettling and makes their fur stand on end. That kid never says what he means and 80% of his expressions are carefully curated lies -- TERRIFYING.

for some miscellaneous things:

I think Heinkel's life before and during his military service was incredibly structured and stifling. Both he and Darius don't talk about wanting to return to their families like Zampano and Jerso, so I assume they were either not close, dead, or had a Really Really bad relationship with them. For Heinkel I think it's the first and for Darius I think it's the last. Darius is one of the only characters in fullmetal that's implied to be gay and I doubt his Amestrian parents would be cool with that. Him fucking off to Central and enlisting makes sense to me.

Because of Ed, they're able to start fresh and as a result they'd pick up random hobbies during the camping trip. Heinkel starts carving and Darius gets into charcoal drawing.

These guys are the pinnacle of boring middle aged yaoi to me. They join a circus and people think that means their lives are chock full of wacky shenanigans-- but no. They are married all but legally and days not working are spent doing the most mundane activities ever. Like sitting together in the living room and listening to the radio for five uninterrupted hours kinda shit. (My reason for this is I think it is Funny for the chimera men who can shapeshift to be two of the most normal people in the series.)

I think Darius is good with kids and Heinkel is Not. Darius is the fun uncle that gives piggyback rides and throws them into pools and shit. Heinkel is the stiff adult at the family function that struggles not to explain the concept of death to your five year old. So that being said, I don't think they'd have kids of their own. (Ed, who became a father literally 2 seconds ago with the birth of his son, does not understand this choice.)

[sugar-omi]

Is it ok to make a request after the last one? Like everything about the eloping was just a dream in this one. And Mc is still married to Cove but after getting that nightmare they get all guilty over something that didn't happen and fear if they'd actually do something that would hurt everyone, especially Cove that badly. So they decided to isolate themselves somewhere no one would find them for a while with little explanation to Cove when they leave. Any location really like a cabin in the woods idk. They were supposed to be only there for a week then a woopsie happens and now they get stranded for more than a week. You're choice on how it ends and whether they tell Cove or not about the dream.

Seeing Cove suffer hurts me so I wanna see the MC suffer (more) :)

HAHA I LOVE IT, YESSS LET MC SUFFER !!!! also ik i wrote it as a "y/n" post but i was like imagining jamie as MC/"y/n" and inserting myself in cove's happy ending <3 lmaooo no one said "y/n" couldn't be someone else 😋 i imagine a lotta ppl read y/n fanfics with their oc's or the default name though too but yes tysm for this ask bc this heals my heart, this is smth i would do!!! one time i read 2 separate fics with character A died and in the other fic character B died n i was like "oh okay theyre happy together now<333" ITS SILLY BUT IT MADE MY HEART FEEL BETTER

[read the post mentioned above: "leaving cove for baxter"]

tags : Hurt/(No) Comfort, step 4/wedding dlc, nightmare about cheating, running away, keeping secrets, arguing <3 (cove snaps abt you leaving)

synopsis : you have a nightmare about leaving cove, so you run away to calm down. maybe you should've taken a different approach...

you wake up in a cold sweat that night.

you're shaking and trying not to wake up cove because his arms are wrapped tightly around you but you can't help the tears running down your face.

somehow you shake yourself from your husbands hold and go to the bathroom to cry...

that morning you're very distant, and since cove has to leave for work as he's been away for awhile for your wedding and honeymoon, he just kisses you and tells you that you will talk later.

when he comes home you sit him down and tell him that you've just going through a bit of depression and burn out, and that you're going to go visit lee for a week and come back.

cove frowns up, of course he understands what you're going through and he understands that things are hard but do you really need to go away?

"y/n, please. i understand you're going through something but, can't you stay? isn't there anything i can do for you?"

you shake your head, "i'm sorry, it's just 5 days and then i'm coming back. i just.. i just need some time."

cove feels a bit angry now, you just got married and everything was fine, you were happy yesterday and now you've done a total 180 overnight and won't let him help you!

"y/n you can't just leave, i really don't understand what's going on."

you shake your head, standing up and releasing your intertwined hands. "i just need a little break, i promise i'll be back soon."

you do go visit lee like you said, but after the 2nd day she leaving town for a show.

"i'm gonna miss you!" lee squeezes you in her arms, not wanting to let you go. "you just showed up, its gonna be forever before we see each other~" lee whines.

you laugh, patting her back. "its okay lee, we'll get together soon."

she pulls away, needing to leave soon if she doesn't want to miss the train. "okay.. i'll call you everyday! have fun on the rest of your trip, okay?" a worried look comes on lee's face, taking your hand in a soothing manner. "i hope you can work through that burn out."

you nod. yeah, burn out...

lee sticks her hand out the window, waving the whole way (thank god someone else is driving) until you can't see each other.

you sigh, walking to your car and make your way to the hotel you booked for the rest of the week...

the beach reminds you of your honeymoon... you aren't sure why you're torturing yourself like this.

you sigh, thinking about the dream. well, nightmare to be correct.

there was nothing inherently scary. but since it was from a first-person point of view, your mouth moving out of tune with your thoughts and everything happening so vividly, it was scary enough.

you feel tears well up in your eyes as you think about everyone's reaction.

would your ma really tell you to stay away from the house like that? and lee.. you can't imagine not talking to her.

fuck, you're crying... just thinking about everyone's disappointment and the scorn on everyone's face is enough to send chills down your spine.

you cringe, thinking about cliff and krya, their messages and how cliff looked so distraught when he saw you when he came for the last of cove's things on your nightmare.

you couldn't bare your in-laws hating you. cliff has always been someone important to you, and now he's your father-in-law. he's a sensitive soul as well, and he loves cove so much. of what had happened was real... oh man, the simple idea of how much regret cliff would have makes your body shake with sobs.

and even though you try not to think about cove's reaction to you leaving, its so prominent in your mind.

you start wiping at your tears, even though there's no one around since this is a little edge of beach off the edge of a hiking trail near your hotel, you feel so ridiculous for crying over this.

you sniffle and go to stand up.

it's getting dark, you've off the trail, and you have an early day tomorrow.

the only problem is... you're a bit lost.

you didn't realize how far you were. you're back on the trail but do you go left or right? does it matter if it all leads back to the hotel?

you swallow, you're so fucked.

everything is just going wrong.

first, you get lost on the shitty trail and don't find your way back until daybreak, and now your car isn't starting up, and the mechanic said it'll be a few days before they get it up and running.

you sigh loudly and fall back into the bed. thankfully, the hotel let you extend your stay so at least you have that going for you...

you startle from the sound of your phone ringing... it's cove.

you hesitate to pick up, you still feel sensitive, but you miss cove, and you've already texted him about the situation for the most part..

"hey, cove.."

"y/n! are you okay?" cove's worried voice crackles over the phone.

"yeah, i'm alright, uh.. listen, cove."

you trace the stitch pattern of the quilt on your bed. "apparently, it'll be a few days before the car is up and running. something about a busted something, i don't know what he said. i wasn't, uh, paying attention very well..."

cove sighs. "y/n... I'll come get you or something, and then we can talk about this, okay?"

you feel your heart pick up. "no! th-theres no need for all that, you just hold down the fort, tell the fish I said hi." you laugh shakily.

you can practically hear the frown in his voice. "y/n. why did you go on this trip, seriously. what are you hiding from me?"

cove's voice is rising and cracking with tears at the same time.

it breaks your heart. you can't answer him and it just makes cove more upset.

"do you regret marrying me or something? is that why-!"

"no!" you exclaim. suddenly regretting your outburst but you can't help but deny it since that's not it and you don't want cove to think that...

"then fucking tell me!" cove is obviously crying at this point. "all I know is my spouse left for a 'break' and is now telling me they don't want me to pick them up? be fucking serious y/n!"

you exhale shakily, wiping your own tears.

"i'm sorry..." you whisper, burying your face in your hand.

"sorry for what, y/n? leaving me after we just got married? lying to me? shutting me out?"

cove's voice is deep and his words have an edge.

he's right though, what are you apologizing for? you're acting out and letting your problem consume you...

there's silence, and then cove mutters over the phone.

"... do you not love me anymore?"

you snap up, sliding off the edge of the bed as you snatch up the phone. "no! it's not that! don't say that!" you cry, "I love you so much, cove! don't even think otherwise!"

cove is silent. since you can't see his face you can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"you know what i... i can't take this right now. I'll call you later."

the phone clicks.

now all you're left with is silence and your own thoughts...

when you finally come home it's 11:47 at night.

cove should be asleep but instead he greets you from the door.

you swallow, psyching yourself up to go to him.

something about the way he watches you from the moment you came into view on the street, to watching you pull your bags out the trunk and then maintaining eye contact (more like boring holes into you since you can't look him in the eye.) as you creep up the pathway to the door of your marital home.

he's silent. just watching. no "hi" or "I love you" or "I missed you, I barely survived while you were gone", just.. silence...

you finally look at him. his eyes are hooded with lack of sleep if the eye bags are any tellers, and yet he stands in front of the illuminated doorway like an unmoveable wall.

your heart skips and clenched. what if he doesn't want to let you back in?

you go to speak and he talks over you.

"was it worth it?"

you gape at him, frowning at his question.

"of course you can't say anything. what did I expect..." cove pinches his temples between his thumb and forefinger.

you gather up some words, uselessly trying to grasp for forgiveness.

"i.. i thought it'd be better if i worked things out on my own... i'm sorry.." you fiddle with the keychain on your luggage. "i shouldn't have done that and uh.. I'll deal with my problems without running away.."

cove watches you blankly. he can't believe you're serious.

"you're not gonna tell me, are you?"

you don't nod or shake your head. you just look at the ground and pray he forgives you.

he stands in front of the door for awhile longer, before he takes your luggage, a little more like snatching it since he grabs it by the side of the handle and tugs it out of your hands, pulling you forward.

"come inside. did you eat?"

you gape a bit, wondering how cove can care for you in a time like this but it reminds you more of a mother who's making sure her naughty child doesn't need anything else before they receive their punishment..

you shake your head. "i'm not hungry right now.."

cove doesn't nod or insist you eat like he normally would. "shower and go to bed then. I'll join you later."

you nod, letting cove's orders sink in.

the bath water is getting cold. and the sound of the echoed sound of water clapping against the edge of the tub makes you self-conscious.

you stand up, letting the water run off of you and robotically dry yourself with a towel before slipping into the clothes cove threw on top of the sink for you.

when you slip out of your bathroom, the bedroom is dark except for the moonlight coming through the window.

you tenderly tuck yourself into bed and close your eyes. waiting for something. anything. maybe for everything to become undone or for time to move past this.

just while you start to get deep into your thoughts, tears pooling in your eyes, cove's footsteps thump against the floor, and you halt your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

the bed dips on his side. you don't feel him leaning over you or getting into bed and so you turn around, looking at the broad expanse of his back and waiting.

"you're not gonna tell me, are you?"

you say nothing.

"not what's wrong? what happened? how can I help?" cove's desperate at this point. "nothing?"

you pause, fingers twitching because you want to reach out to him but if you did he'll just shrink away from you for sure.

"I don't know.." you finally mumble.

cove hangs his head, fiddling with something in his hand and he lays down without looking at you, flipping over once he's gotten under the covers.

you're both awake, there's no way he isn't and you touch his back.

he doesn't flinch like you thought, nor shake or tell you to fuck off.

so you creep closer. maybe that's a bad idea, wrapping your arms around him as the worst he can do is reject you but you missed him. and everything is eating you up that you just want his comfort..

he let's you, surprisingly.

you rest your forehead between his shoulder blades, curving your body against his.

you reach for his hands, finding them clenched weakly around something.

you wanna shake and cry when you realize it's his wedding band...

he let's you take it from him, and he holds onto your other hand that's tucked under his body.

you shakily slip the ring back on his finger.

maybe, maybe one day you'll tell him.

but when the next morning comes, and cove greets you with a bright smile and "good morning" that only has half his usual cheer, and he continues it for weeks until months have passed since then and it's as if nothing happened, you aren't sure you ever will.

[millepara]

bye for now...

I DIDN'T cry in the arcade, I swear I didn't, depending on what your definition of crying is. lmao. I knew my eyes were less dry than usual but no one else would have.

I'm surprised, shocked even, that all three cabinets were still working. as mentioned here and there, I haven't been able to play for various reasons for a long time, so I have no idea how many people are still playing here. all I knew is from Luna posting about her trip where she encountered various defunct cabinets. I assumed that the ones at my home arcade would be the same. I guess that's the difference between tokyo and osaka at work... admittedly my arcade is hardly the top pretty series arcade in osaka, though. it's closest to the station so it's frequented by a lot of tourists etc passing through to spectate, which means it gets loud/a little unpleasant sometimes, which probably drives away most of the serious (?) primagi players (and those of other games too). but I can handle that if it means I'm not having to pack up all my cards and eject my usb and move after every single game.

anyway, none of that matters because I'm moving out of osaka and primagi is moving out of existence. the whole 3ish? hours I played today not a single other person came to play primagi until I was packing up to go. I was able to play and record everything I wanted to without being rushed or distracted or whatever. I almost didn't go at all because I'm moving next tuesday and it feels really irresponsible to go to the city and play at the arcade for hours this close, but... while packing I found a lithium ion battery that had swelled up into a mouse-sized pillow and the only place in the goddamn prefecture that will dispose of sick batteries happens to be a 20-minute walk away from my arcade. so I had no choice but to go!

luckily I set aside some coords & MAGIC☆VITAMIN's ids just in case back when I packed my pretty series box, so I already had that ready in my bag! kind of wish I'd gone over all of my coords a little better or picked coords that matched each other better, but I was focused on packing quickly at the time, and I didn't even use one of the coords I brought, so that doesn't even qualify as a regret. a little closer to a regret is how my larger usb did that thing where it gets too excited and stops recording in the middle of my game, so I spent the the last half of my arcade time muttering please please please PLEASE keep recording dont freak out you can do it come on come on--but it always does this so in a way, it was just like old times. back in the arcade with my wretched usb at my side. I got everything I wanted to record in one piece, at least, though it took a couple tries sometimes.

I was planning on only getting friend cards because I love looking at them and I don't need to start collecting coords on my final day of playing the game lmao, but!! I forgot or didn't know there are pretty rhythm coords in primagi!! I knew about the pripara and prichan ones, but other than Mirai's they were mostly stuff I don't care abt seeing on my idols... but the pretty rhythm ones!! they added so many details and definition to update the coords for primagi, and I love looking at that sort of thing!! I only did extra shopping one time when pure premium wedding and rainbow 7th coord showed up in the same game, and then with the random cards you get at the end of the game I managed to finish both, as you can see at the beginning of this post :)

I ended up playing an extra game with Milk because I wanted to see her in the wedding dress, and I was planning on playing one final game with Biscuit, but then... well, I'm totally unaware of the new songs aside from Miruki's Puzzle Buzz one, so I just chose the Himeme/Mychara Girls duet because I wanted to see a Milk/Biscuit pretty rhythm duo, and.... oh my god. it was the cutest song in the world, even (impossibly!) cuter than Buzzle. my idols got engaged......... in pretty rhythm wedding dresses..... . it seemed like too perfect a place to finish my primagi career (and I had to record it twice bc of my usb) (and I didn't particularly have any coord/song in mind to use for Biscuit after that) (and right after hearing morning and gift in the arcade after so long it was a direct hit to my idol emotions) so I finished up and went home.

I'm really glad I got to play one last time. I had already resigned myself to the fact that I just wouldn't get to, that's how it had to be and it sucks that I'm moving at the same time, and I figured it would be fine because I haven't been able to play regularly. but I feel so relieved since I went! I'm going to the middle of nowhere so I won't be able to play aipri verse regularly even if I want to (tbd), so I think this nice long farewell concert helped me feel ok about primagi ending and moving away and whatever aipri is going to be instead of just like... it's inevitable, so oh well.

I haven't had time to check the vids yet. fingers crossed that they turned out fine...

[bloodhaven]

I know i never shut up about diabetes but i almost had to go without my trulicity for a while because my insurance suddenly "wouldn't cover it" and it was $800+ for a months dose, they don't sell single doses, it was more than my fucking rent and gas bill combined, i had to call like 5 different pharmacies because someone had filled it, and not told me. There's a huge shortage of trulicity and ozempic in the U.S because of celebrities using it for weight loss and lauding it as some miracle drug. I wouldn't have had the money to cover it if I hadn't found the pharmacy that had filled it. I went almost a full week without it because of this.

Also, it makes you lose weight by killing your appetite and making it near impossible to eat. That isn't healthy. When I was on ozempic it tore my stomach up, i was on it for 3 months and had 3-5 e.r trips on months 2&3 because of it, the first time I was told "it's a stomach bug, take some flu meds and you'll be fine" it wasn't until i lost 12 lbs in 2 weeks and was vomiting blood at work and my blood sugar was 312 despite only having A COFFEE with minimal sugars that they took me seriously and took me off ozempic, my endocrinologist wanted me on it so I would lose weight, she was PROUD that I lost 12 lbs in 2 weeks

I'm back on trulicity now and my endo dislikes that I put 10 of those pounds back on. She wants me to see a gastroenterologist bcs the ozempic might've permanently done damage and she wants to make sure it didn't.

Also also, ozempic is pricey without insurance! I have countless stories from my lyft and uber drivers talking about how they work non driving jobs and uber/lyft on the side to afford their ozempic because they don't have insurance and have no other choice. A months worth of ozempic (again, they don't do single doses, you HAVE to get a months worth or more) is uh, cheapest? $935.77 supposedly, most pharmacies will not give it to you this cheap. It regularly costs people without insurance $1000+

But you can get it cheaper if it's for fucking weight loss. My mother in law (not diabetic, not even PRE diabetic) gets hers for $50, her insurance won't cover it as a weight loss drug. Do you see that fucking difference? She gets the same medicine as a diabetic for fifty fucking dollars because it's marketed as a weight loss drug now!

For a country that supposedly cares so much abt our diabetic population they sure do make it impossible to get our fucking medicine.

[7amonathursdayinoctober]

WE GOT THE FUCKIN NETFLIX PPL AAAAAHAHAHAHHAA

I DONT HAVE TO RELY ON MY FATHER FOR IT ANYMORE ITS JUST US YYYYYESSSSSSSSS

Spn here I come

Just random stuff abt my weekend that i dont wanna make another post for below :] (its a rlly long post and not spn related you don't have to read lol)

I won't be watching any (spn) tonight bc I've been working on my room for the past 2 days, (so glad i had music for all this) I haven't had a properly set up room in a long time, I had no dresser, still no bed technically (I sleep on a beanbag, out of choice) and no storage. Everything i have was shoved in 2 large Uhaul boxes and piled in my closet for the past couple of years, I've still got books shoved in said closet (no bookshelf yet)

Yesterday (friday) we got a dresser, a side table, and a desk/dresser thing with a mirror, also a headboard! (Bc of the headboard I'm being forcibly given a bed which is gonna take up a lot of space in my already cramped room but I'll make it work) so I was cleaning a LOT of junk, lots of de-cluttering, sorting, moving, storing, and trips to the garbage on the first day (Friday) then I had to organize everything I decided to keep, shove it all in one big box bc while i was fine for the first few hours of this endeavor, I drank an energy drink (monster) and an XXL mavrick slurpee (blue raspberry if you care) thing at around 3 after getting all that stuff (dressers) up a set of stairs and into a car and truck, I was so out of it by 11 that I would stare at whatever I was trying to sort for a solid minute before putting it back in the box I was trying to sort it OUT of, it was lots of fun/sar . Luckily, I didn't throw up bright blue slurpee

Sleeping wasn't the best bc even tho I kept sweeping my room, there was lots of junk that ended up stuck to my clothes, which then got into my sheets, very nasty

On the second day (Saturday) i had to take everything out of the box i shoved it into the night before so i cauld bring the dressers into my room and put everything in them, (the tote box everything was in took up to much space and had to be taken out so the dressers could be brought in) which was fun (one of them totally got stuck between the door frames lmao, small hallways yknow?) Next step was to put everything away, now organized, into and on the dressers, some stuff was put on the closet shelf/floor, and I even hung some stuff up on the walls. But we finally got to a good stopping point! (Thank god)

I need to wash my sheets and a shower, but im tired. Tomorrow, I'm just gonna relax :]

If yall want pictures (bc I defo took a few), let me know, and I'll make a separate post for them in the morning when i wake up and am more coherent :]

[actual-bill-potts]

hi! i just wanted to drop by and say, i think your last prompt fic rewired the chemistry in my brain. i've been rotating that interaction between finarfin and olwe in my mind for hours now. that's probably the best take i saw on them & and on why finarfin didn't return immediately after the first kinslaying. that was amazing and your writing is wonderful

also i'm in love with your "and all our towers cast down" fic, with your portrayal of finrod and his trauma, it's honestly fascinating

hope you're having a good day/night <3

omg tysm for this incredibly kind message!!!! it literally made my entire day. tbh i didn't expect much of a response to that ficlet bc it was such a struggle to write - Aegnor and Angrod are not characters I think about often and Alqualondë is so odd narratively to me bc it feels like it should be a major turning point for everyone but it kind of...isn't? So this was my best attempt at making it make sense in my own mind. I need to write a full meta post on the subject soon haha to put my thoughts in order. I'm so glad you liked it!! Though I don't really write about them much, Olwë and Finarfin are such interesting characters to me so I'm glad they came through properly.

And thank u so so much!! i have absolutely adored writing towers, it's so much fun to explore the character dynamics and really dive into leithian and make everyone's choices make more sense in my own brain. in my mind finrod's death is really what sealed the doom of nirnaeth, cuz politically fingon lost so much with finrod. so i am really looking forward to exploring the ramifications of his survival and how the events of tol-in-gaurhoth affected him. i really see his role in leithian as him finally snapping and being like I'm going to help this person I love no matter the cost. I've always headcanoned that a big part of the reason he went to middle earth was to support both the nolofinwions and his own people who loved feanor. and in middle-earth he's had to make the hard pragmatic choice so many times, between splitting from turgon pretty much forever, letting his brothers go to the front lines, sending balan's people to the front lines, constantly smoothing things over between the Fëanorions, the nolofinwions, the doriathrim, the bëorians, and the laiquendi, and at the point of leithian he's just seen so much of that work burst into flames around him and he basically pulls a fingolfin. he's like fuck what happens to me, fuck what happens to my kingdom: thingol is insane, two of my brothers are dead, pretty much all of balan's people that i worked so hard to help are dead except this one guy who is determined to go on a suicide mission. so im gonna help balan's descendant and no one can stop me.

But now he's survived and he's going to have to reckon with...all of that...with fingon who just lost his father to a similar impulse, and with orodreth, and with himself. and of course sauron's mind games didn't help him any. so he's in a pretty bad headspace right now and is going to have to deal with a lot of the losses he's just been shoving away and not looking at up until now.

Anyway sorry for the ramble! I'm just very passionate abt this project lol.

Also, I know you like Finarfin, and this ask made literally my whole entire day, so here's a Finarfin+Finrod snippet for you! I hope you enjoy <3

That morning, Arafinwë's eldest son does not so much walk into the dining room as swim. He is encased in layers upon layers of swishing fabric that billow before and after him, making it necessary to sway carefully to avoid tripping; his hair, loosed and straightened, falls nearly to his feet, and keeps tangling about his knees; and he looks inordinately proud of himself.

Arafinwë glances at Eärwen in bewilderment, wondering if wardrobe-related madness is a symptom among the Returned that he has forgotten about. She looks just as confused as he feels, if significantly more amused.

"Good morning, Finrod!" he says aloud. "Er - is there a special occasion?"

Finrod moves carefully to his chair, then sweeps his massive skirts behind him, swiftly moves the chair out, and sinks into it with a whoosh. He looks up cheerfully.

"Good morning, Atya, Ammë!" he says, beaming. "No special occasion - this is cultural. It is the latest in Vanyarin fashion!"

"Is it?" Arafinwë asks weakly. "It seems - difficult to move in."

"Oh, yes," Finrod responds, grinning even wider. The effect, in conjunction with the sparkling, billowing skirts and tangled hair, is nearly blinding. "That's the point, you see! It is intended to emulate the care with which the Valar must move, encased in the forms they take to walk among us. I thought the idea was fascinating. And the fabrics they use are so beautiful!"

"Ah - that is indeed interesting," Arafinwë responds, wondering who among his mother's people he will have to take aside later for a quick word on not telling Finrod about Vanyar fads. "Surely it is not intended to go out in...?"

"Oh, but of course it is!" Finrod says. "I plan to go out to market as soon as we are done breakfasting, to experience the full effect. Would you like to come? It could be quite interesting."

"Alas, your mother and I must hold court soon after breakfast, and cannot join," Arafinwë says without much regret.

"You must tell us about the experience, though!" Eärwen chimes in, sounding as if she is suppressing laughter.

"Ah, very well," Finrod says cheerfully; and after he has breakfasted he does indeed rise carefully - barely snatching his garment away from the remnants of jelly on his plate before it can be stained - and swim out of the room.

Eärwen and Arafinwë look at each other and burst into laughter.

"The skirts!" Eärwen gasps, "The folds! It will take him an hour to exit the palace!"

"Oh dear," Arafinwë says at last, wiping his eyes. "Oh dear. Was he like this before?"

"He was!" Eärwen exclaims. "Do you remember, he used to creep into your father's closet and try on his best robes? Then he would swan about the halls, trying not to trip."

"I had forgotten," Arafinwë admits, a smile curving his lips, "but you are quite right. He always did love beautiful clothing. I only hope that his pursuit of high Vanyarin fashion will not send him home with a broken collarbone."

"It is so good to have our son home," Eärwen says abruptly. "Our children gave me such joy. I had nearly forgotten."

Arafinwë reaches across the table to take her hand. "It is," he agrees. The image of Finrod leaving the room, having to angle his hips to fit through the door and bundling his hair about himself so as not to trip, floats across his mind and he chuckles again. "Do you remember when bustles were all the rage, and Artanis got caught on a turn of the stairway? She was furious."

Eärwen's laughter is a welcome peal, more light of heart than he had heard in years. "As I recall, it was Finrod who convinced her of their merits in the first place."

"She did not take his advice on fashion again, after that!" Arafinwë agrees. He cannot stop smiling as he begins to gather up the breakfast things and neaten his own robes. It feels as if his heart is singing within him: Our son is home. He is home. He is home!

[transfemlogan]

16?

- 🌧️

i have already answered 16 for the positive one here . & i have been asked 2 answer it 2 more times after NSHSJDNDH so instead. i will answer 16 on the negative one & if i can think of another small detail in canon ill talk abt it. it's just hard 2 know whats a "small detail" & whats not

negative fandom ask game

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

i can't understand why everyone loves soulmate AUs.

that's a lie and exaggeration, i do get it to some extent. i understand that it's because the concept of having a "one true love" that will love you forever and ever is appealing & comforting 2 a lot of people. i respect & understand that.

but i fucking hate soulmate AUs.

for background: i am a relationship anarchist & a nonamorous romance + sex repulsed aroaceapl. i do not date, i do not have sex, i find romance & sex repulsive, i do not have queerplatonic relationships, i don't feel platonic attraction most of the time, i'm touch repulsed, i want to live alone; the idea of "dying alone" & "being alone forever" is the most appealing thought ever. & it's how i want my future to be.

SO. i find soulmate AUs to be the most horrifying & terrifying thing on the planet DNEHRKFNFJ

ignoring the fact that all soulmate aus are aphobic & actively ignore aspecs, the ones that do attempt to include aspecs tend to still exclude people.

"well you don't have to have a romantic soulmate! you can have a platonic one!" what about aplatonic folk? what about people who don't want to have friends?

& then its "well not everyone gets a soulmate!" what about aspex who DO want a soulmate? like genuinely what does that mean? how can you take in account every single unique sexuality & experience. i understa d that obvs soulmate aus r not trying 2 do thst but like. how does that work.

& you never ever see a soulmate au that takes in account aromantic allosexuals, because obviously having sex w/o feelings attached to it is evil & wrong. (HEAVY SARCASM!)

i do not want the universe/government/etc to pick who I get into a relationship with? who's the universe or the government or whoever tell ME who i can & can't date???

i think relationships need to be built and made and formed. I understand it's like "oh, but you have someone who is destined to love you forever", but it's like... i'd rather have someone who chooses to love me. not is forced to. someone who is willing to build a relationship with me & is choosing to love me.

i have wanted to write a soulmate au where a side (probably logan) actively ignores their soulmate & goes against the rules but i havent done it yet & i probably wont.

IDK I KNOW THIS IS ALL JUST SILLY BUT LIKE. HOW DO YOU GUYS FIND THAT ... APPEALING??? THAT WOULD BE TERRIFYING. if there was someone out there destined for me??? That i HAD to get into a relationship with whether i liked it or not???? whether it was my choice??? like ABSOLUTELY NOT. i don't want to be forced into a relationship just cuz the universe told me i should be. & i dont want to be forced into loving someone just because someone else told me I should be. that i had to love them because they loved me back!!! like this sounds like an abusive manipulative horror story waiting 2 be told (<- which now i def want to see. someone get on that. write a soulmate au where the persons soulmate uses it as an excuse to abuse & manipulate them & guilt trip them that'd be cool)

AND THEN SOMETIMES SOULMATE AUS HAVE THE MOST TERRIFYING SYMPTOMS EVER??? i saw one where you are constantly hearing your soulmates thoughrs. thats fucking terrifying. to never have a moment alone? to never have fucking privacy?? in ur own head? i saw a fic, which like no hate 2 the author it was beautifully written just so terrifying to me, where janus shares his thoughts w/ logan constantly & tells logan 2 "shut up so he can get work done" or whatever. LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN. WHERE AM I.

maybe its just cuz i was abused as a child & have been in an abusive relationship & im traumatisdd & its affected my way of living & entire life, but all i can hear when i see soulmate aus is how genuinely terrifying it would be if you were in an abusive relationship w/ a soulmate.

imagine have your thoughts always be read by your abuser. that no matter what happens, your abuser will always hear what you're thinking. you can't think of ways to escape or even begin to examine your relationship, because youe abuser will always be able to punch that down. & even if somehow you do escape, you will never bs free of them. thats fucking terrifying. & also a great metaphor for experiencing an abusive relationship & having ptsd after it can someone write that too. someone get on that.

if i shared my thoughts w/ my "soulmate" id probably actually kill myself i knkw thats a wild fucking thing 2 say out of no where but i am not joking. if i could never ever have a moments alone in my own head id actually be ending it right now. its almost 1 am can u tell i havent gotten sleep at all.

ANYWAY I HATE SOULMATE AUS. NUMBER ONE SOULMATE HATER !!!! ITS TERRIFYING & SO UNCOMFORTABLE 2 EVEN THINK ABOUT

negative fandom ask game

[3416]

i was literally just talking about mitch marner outfit repeater with my friend this week. i seriously think he wears it so much because it looks so good on him like this is someone who likes to get kind of wacky with fashion choices and this suit is decidedly basic but it WORKS on him!!! who among us hasn’t looked in the mirror, found ourselves hot, and then worn the outfit over and over until it stopped working

BFKSNFNDKKDJKDDK so true. i also just realistically think picking a couple suits for the road, ones that prob travel and wash well, is totally.... normal? like lots of other people wear basic shit so no one ever says things abt them repeating outfits, but logically, it makes sense that they don't bring their newest shiniest stuff on the road... esp long road trips. it's not like they have unlimited storage as a team, like theyre trying to transport 30+ guys and lots of equipment and . IDK HE JUST LOOKS SO GOOD IN IT. i'm grateful if he's wearing smth over and over, at least it's smth he looks good in.

[sadshitonmain]

DICEY I S DRUNK

Needdd to write my note before i ctb in a week ish so

Fuck u mom how dare you fucking give up on me. Picking new family and popping out kids like a goddamn pez dispenzer instead of like faking interest in shit i actully enjoy for five mins.

Same goes for dad but extra FUCK you for never visiting when you had the chance and extra extra fuck you for getting sick and losing what little ego you had left so you dont even recognize me anymore. Asshole move.

FUCK YOU EMILY GOD FUCK I LOVED YOU AND I ONLY FUCKING LEFT BC I KNEW I COULDNT STAY AWAY IF YOU EVER CALLED BACK AND IM STILL WAITING FOR IT 6 GODDAMN YEARS LATER. Im sorry too. I wish I'd had the help i needed before we tried to run away. I wish my wife coulda seen me at my best instead of my worst and ill never stop dreaming of a world where at least you're happy -even if itsone without me, Bc as far as i know you're probably dead and its all my fault. It never got better for me but at least im in control and hot now.

I'm sorry Sebastian. JP and FL and Kitsu. For my own good i shoulda stayed out of it. But at least i tried unlike you idiots. At least you had only one dead kid that year, if not for me there'd be two so fuck you. I just wanted to do some good for all my fuckups and i couldnt stand the idwa of another dead qu*er child. I miss you all, I hope missing me eats you alive.

To my new friends.

Skye, plz dont beat urself up over this one,.its my choice. Im not the same as her and you couldnt chamge anything, you just got caught in the crossfire.

Maddy, be smart be safe be yourself. Fuck someone and chase that femboy.

Thylia.. fuck you're the first real person ive met in a decade. I wish id met you sooner. Be strong.

Pip. Make a goddamn choice girl. Either be yourself or play it safe and be miserable. This life is hell and i wouldnt wish it on anyone. You still have a future, just be smart about it. Finish college, chase your passions. Transition quietly, practice looking how you want and move far the fuck away when its safe. Everyone goes through an ugly phase and thats fine. And seriously SERIOUSLY, just chill the fuck out and go with the flow.

No one else is worth mentioning. You all betrayed me. You all said id be nothing but a burnt out worthless fag and then you made that reality not me. I hate you all for it. Hopefully these bottles do me in.

Emi.. Alex.. whatever you go by now, howdy stranger. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry my ideas abt love and passion and loyalty were so fucked up.. it really was how i was raised and it still really was my fault. There isnt a day that goes by i dont wonder what would have happened had i stuck around for a few more days and let us both cool off. I was completely obsessed and jealous and who could really blame me, I clung to that stupid dream for dear fucking life for years and when i finally had the chance the world literally came crashing down around us. If not for covid, if not for SPDs fucking power trip, if not for how i was raised if not for how broken i was if I had just listened to you and respected you fuck our dream could have come true. I love you. I'll never love anyone else, I've always loved you since the day you were quietly introduced and sat in Mr. Baker's class across the room all those years ago. I knew then and I know now 14 years later that you were always my better half.

I hope eternity is real, I hope I suffer for it. This shitty trailer has been my exile for 4 years and in a week it will be my tomb.

In truth if id had any courage at all id have ended it a long time ago, but im a total goddamn coward even piss drunk on a work night. Im still praying you'll save me but i know it wont happen, it cant happen. I'll never change, I'll always be the crazy ex, always be another person that abused your trust and chased you across the city we were supposed to grow old in. I hate everything i was, and everything i had to be to survive and everything i am now. I don't blame you, i don't even hate you.

You were always right.

I still love you.

Dicey,

(Formerly Lusy, formerly Lyrah)

Fuck you all, i give up

[mostotherthings]

I... like The Sign. A lot.

And maybe I'm the only person who doesn't think that Episode 11 has that amount of plot holes and Episode 11 does not make Tharn stupid (if he's stupid, ALL the characters are stupid- OK maybe that's a decent point too)

There are comments out there that I thought about that seem a bit harsh to the characters in the show.

Not all characters know what's going on (even our main characters)

maybe some personal points to note about me - I am Asian and live in an Asian country (but not Thai), and my religion involves icons (lots of Gods that take care of different things in our lives), similar to Thai Buddhism. Someone close to me was once part of the uniformed services in an Asian country

For Phaya's grandma, Paranee and Dujdao to say things like, "maybe he shouldn't be a policeman, maybe he should quit", these are conversations I heard every single day previously. In our society where your choice of a job affects you and your family's status/pov of other's towards you (in good or bad ways), your relatives are always going to have opinions of what you do, period. Even if you turn 50, 60. Your sibling is going to be the one with beef. Oh, and your friends judge you too, especially those who see you like family. (A good partner is a lawyer, doctor. Your partner is a policeman/fireman? Isn't that dangerous?)

A death of a family member at young age changes everything about you. Tharn has a loving grandmother, but he made complaints to his dad before they died, and this sticks with you. "Our last conversation ended badly and after that he died". Some people's natural response is to stop talking much or stop expressing opinions. I've heard it many times at funerals, "I should have been better to him before he died- I should have listened - We should have been nicer and more understanding- I should have been here in time to see him for one last time". Hindsight is always 20/20, no? I would think that Tharn's singular desire to be part of elite police forces is to solve his parents' mystery and right the "wrong" he did before they died. He really cannot believe that doing this let him meet Phaya.

Tharn meets Chalothon at a young age. This guy, whatever kind of doctor he is, has placed himself into Tharn's life from young and made himself the "perfect big brother". There's no reason for Tharn to be suspicious until he overhears the conversation the Abbot and Phaya have at the grave. I'm sure his mind has been trying to justify Chalothon's behaviour, but at this point, he doesn't know the seriousness of Chalothon's desire until the fall off the cliff and Chalothon's real face. You can't underestimate how sly people are, and how they're able to keep a benevolent presence in front of others while actually they are just, bad people. (ok but a psy doctor, doing drug tests is ???? but i take it on the logic that Tharn knows Chalothon who will know a good doctors, who can take care of these for him. This is basically how I found the person who installed air conditioners in my house- someone i knew, knows someone reliable who does that kind of work)

Grandma and the Abbot, in not telling Tharn abt Chalothon, did it to protect him. So yes, you can say, that's not protecting him. in context, Gods can do whatever they want. We have Gods that protect our household, our health, wealth, etc etc. Our is a system of good karma means a continued good and smooth life. God don't always come in to solve our problems or show the way- Gods can punish us if we do the wrong thing. When I was young my school arranged a trip to a "theme park" that had laid out the punishments you would receive if you break precepts or disobey your parents/elders. There's 18 stages of hell, each for the level of "crime" that you did. It was 3D to me, suddenly. And let's not forget about reincarnation too! After we get punished, our souls renew and what we become (an animal, what kind of animal, a human, a rich or poor human), depends on the karma we achieve in this lifetime. When we say, "in my next life, I hope to see you again"- we mean it. When we have a bad relationship with someone, we often say offhand "that person's so bad to me because I owe him a debt from a previous lifetime"

So our fear of Gods, our fear of breaking the precepts, especially if you grew up in households like Phaya's or Tharns, or you are an Abbot like Luang Por, is there. So if I were Grandma, terrified seeing this snake God in the house looking to take away the only family member I have left in my life, I will try to keep him away, but I won't say anything to Tharn. The Gods are listening. If my Tharn knew about this, would Chalothon not even give me the time I have now, to be with this person I love?

Since Episode 3, when they established the Naga lore, I had a feeling that this is not going to be easy for international fans to understand. But I didn't expect the amount of "stupid Phaya" and "stupid Tharn" to come out of the last few episodes. (I mean, by all means, the police procedure is the part we HAVE to be making fun of, but generally I've grown up with television series that sort of ignore real life to "create plot points" so I've grown a tolerance). Coupled with how generally "being gay" is still something that we don't always share with people, even if they are family, that's what the show has kind of built itself on.

Phaya and Tharn are not communicating well because they believe their silence will save the other. The Abbot and Grandma are both keeping quiet because they understand the power of the Gods, and how if they slip up, Tharn can be taken away from them. There's also an urgency in Wawisa's warning "if Tharn is taken away this time, there will be no return" (this has no Lore that I know if, but i go along with it coz it is a "PLOT POINT"). Even Akk, almost sworn brother of Tharn, has decided to keep silent- losing Tharn, means letting Tharn's father down. He's already lost people to this investigation (Tharn's Dad, that Lt in the beginning sorry forgot his name, and now maybe even Chart). To lose his almost adoptive's father's son- that's unimaginable to him too.

The key to a good relationship is communication, but the fear of losing someone may also cause you to hide things from them. This is human nature, so in this aspect, I feel the drama is very real.

In Episode 11, Phaya asked Tharn to let go because he doesn't want Tharn to die. In the next, Tharn will let go (leave), because he doesn't want Phaya (and everyone else) to die. A God's threat cannot be ignored easily. We want him to fight, but Tharn is already frightened. What if he fights, and everyone dies? He can't ask everyone to make that sacrifice for him. Someone (his parents) have already died.

For a first time director, A has been amazing to me. It also shows that he was/still is an acting teacher on set- every choice, every expression, every movement he has asked the actors to do, has been done with great thought and deliberation. And Babe- he still needs work, but so far, he has been very good. and Billy as Phaya, he fights with Tharn, he complains and whines, he makes some laughs, and I personally feel he's improved a lot since SCOY.

So even if they bomb the last episode (lol, yeah that threat is still there), I have found the Sign enjoyable and a series that's becoming close to my heart because it aligns with me and my personal beliefs.

Lol, I don't even know why I'm saying all this and even if I'm making sense but I have just got to let it out. Maybe I just wanted to share my opinion, that Episode 11 isn't really all that bad.

[sungbeam]

no because i am def not tripping when i feel like im disconnected from my friends irl. like ik i haven't exactly been the best at keeping in touch, and that's my fault but idk,,, i think after senior year, i've just become so used to ghosting people and letting relationships rot. it's an awful habit. idek what's wrong w me, but im scared ig, idk what im scared of, but im def being a coward. ik these people care abt me, but for some reason, sometimes i feel like im not on their same wavelength. maybe i just don't feel as comfortable around them anymore cuz we're all split up, but after senior year, i just had a feeling we were never gonna be the same.

ik they care, ofc i know they care. they've been my best girls for almost my entire life. i love them so much, but i feel so far away. maybe im just scared and INSECURE. i think my insecurity breaks so many relationships for me,, it's just awful. i wish i could just suck it up and be happy for them bc they deserve all of this success. why am i envious when i don't even deserve to be envious? i haven't done shit, or as much as i def could have.

jfc what happened to me

everything is so personal, every little detail. it's not that deep, and yet i feel like an odd man out. im prob just making this up and seeing things yk?... i just,,, wish i could work up the guts to be straightforward and honest and supportive. i try to be supportive and excited when i can, but i think it's just the bitterness holding me back and turning myself into a villain or whatever. didn't i say congrats too? did i make it abt me on accident or am i just reading things wrong? i wanted to be there for u, too, i swear, but i just... i can't even be here for myself; i hope u understand. it's not ur fault; it's mine. idk how to fix it but i miss u, even tho im too full of cowardice to tell u and to make amends.

i used to tell them everything. i can barely get myself to show up in the gc now.

i hate thinking like... they didn't really ask how i was either. im just bitter bitter bitter for no reason. too scared to be thrown aside and forgotten and always being the last choice again and again, so i just remove myself as a choice in the first place.

oh my god i need to see a therapist

[anaalnathrakhs]

.

"now that after eighteen years i've listened and lowered my working hours, we're gonna be able to share so much more time together like you wanted" haha yeah turns out that not doing that during the maleable years of my childhood and also not helping the constant snowballing of problems in my life has left me, uh, kind of disinterested in spending time with you. if not straight up uncomfortable.

sorry mom, no i can't enjoy a day out together, because then we'll go home, your home, where you are, and you decide the order of events, and i should shut up and let you have this for once. where you are, then, and where i can't go piss or get something from the fridge or go read in the living room without passing by you. where "five minutes" means half an hour and "soon" means "i'm waiting for you, who decides nothing in this expedition, to signal that you are ready for that trip that needs no preparation". where i can't eat when i'm hungry and i have to eat when i'm not, and i can't buy fruits because then it's too many fruits and there's too many rotting on the counters. and i can't take your fruits because they're your fruits. where you keep fucking commenting any time i do something ever so slightly different than usual. "oooooh you tied your hair it looks good" i'm going to shave everything and also get your eyes with the clipper.

i remember the vacations you dragged me to despite my protests, that i spent days complaining about until we agreed that i'd just hang out while you visited, and those were great memories actually, being alone and doing things i enjoy, for fucking once.

don't complain about the kid you raised to be this way. you raise a lonely kid, that makes an adult loner. you make your kids suffer, you get an adult that doesn't like to hang out with you.

'vi don't know, i don't feel im particularly unjustified in pointing out that your "help" was inefficient, misguided, and the clarity moments you want to highlight were like, a reaction after three to six business months of me explaining the best i could at that age that it fucking sucked and hurt me. but no. your mentally ill kid just needs a push, in a direction that hurts, that's e called leaving your comfort zone. over, and over, and over again. but we would've listened if you'd just told us earlier! we didn't listen to you AFTER the event because it seemed so irrational and out of character, but if you had said you were anxious before even going we would've totally listened, and everything would've gone well, why didn't you? when you were literally twelve? you either pull the brakes two weeks before something you feel bad about, so you don't take the risk of trying something new, or you go without complaining and now one day wasn't that hard, was it? now stay.

i dont know what i want when we discuss this. maybe for you to admit "yeah what we did fucked you up", because eeeeh i get that being a parent literally choice or non-choice is going to have an influence, and stopping or mitigating a downwards spiral is a crapshoot. but at the same time, you can't expect me to be all fine and dandy about it and have a perfect relationship with you bc i can be a civil young adult with you nowadays. you were still active figures during very very unpleasant times in my life. sorry im feeling a little bad abt that. or maybe for you to recognize that you should've listened sometimes. like, actually gave value to what i was saying about my own life, my own feelings, my own mental health, instead of it taking months of the best communication a mentally ill tween and teen could offer, which if it wasn't clear was at least unmistakably loud. i don't know.

wait, 8 years old kid, you can be alone all day but we'll drive all the mandatory stuff ourselves! wait, 12 years old kid, you're too independant! wait, 14 years old kid, come sit with us instead! wait, 17 years old kid, i'll take the car and pick you up 800 meters away from home! wait, 18 years old kid, don't you know how difficult and hard and painful it was for us when you didn't do activities you don't like with us, back then!

wait, 18 years old kid, i don't understand why you're not more independant if you want it so badly, after all it's normal at your age!

[juicywritinghoard]

30 incredibly specific aus

ghost/cryptid hunter and person who will believe any dumb shit for a steady paycheck 

roommate A grabs the baseball bat only to find roommate B eating pickles and macarons in the kitchen at 4 in the morning 

yes I am a vampire sorry no the sleeping upside down hanging off the ceiling thing was just a bit

undeniable chemistry between the two lead actors in the worst hallmark movie ever

verified purchase reviewer on multipack of toy horses that only says THE RED ONES TASTE THE BEST and customer service agent going hello???? enemies to lovers nightmare 

librarian desperate to understand what wild phase the other character is going thru rn

goofing around in ikea and accidentally spending +2 hours in there. where does it end and honestly where is the bathroom 

roped into a d&d game with someone and having a crush on them but only knowing their character name

"So what brings you to the ER today?" well I laughed so hard at my own joke I passed out and hit my head? "oh my god" I know 

made a little offering to an ancient deity for funsies and woke them from a deep slumber. oops

I don't know why you've got a ferret on a leash but at least I've stopped crying on public transportation to watch that lil guy go

the decorative fishtank at this restaurant just broke, my instant reaction was to pick one of the fish up with my bare hands, and now we've made eye contact about it

sorry for swearing a blood feud against you but in my defense you paid for your whole transaction in quarters

I'm so so sorry I didn't mean to honk at you, I sneezed and hit the honker on accident please don't be upset at me

nothing against your choices at all, honestly kind of enthralled, but the fishnets and thigh high boots and pirate blouse seem like a lot for this 8am class 

you make me sick. babe I want to make this work but I'm so allergic to your fur

i can excuse unethical science but I draw the line at skirting lab safety. you cannot be eating rn

doctor doctor give me the news, I got a bad case of uncontrollable super powers

listen it's just a mild case of radiation poisoning you don't have to yell abt it

accidentally saw their coworker's nipple piercings

hang on have you never seen the stars outside of the city? we're going on a road trip immediately

working on the moon is fine but the alien jokes are getting old

pretending to be married for this high stakes heist is kind of distracting not gonna lie

truth serum is stupid and this is never gonna work but the fact you believe it will makes me love you even more. wait. shit

you know I've been waiting for an excuse to come unhinged and I think this might be it actually, so thank you for that

hahaha no worries, it's not my blood

but what's wrong with the lyric, "baby you make me feel like the home depot light fixture aisle" ?? I don't understand 

haha don't roll up your sleeves and tie up your hair our relationship is so platonic rn haha

I would help you move. I would follow you into hell. but you cannot make me come on vacation with your family I will do an actual homicide stop nodding and smiling at me I'm so serious 

hey bud. I didn't mean to reveal that I can read minds but I gotta know what in the actual hell is going on in your head, do you live like this? always??

[bsaka7]

omg ur ask abt brando lucy dacus being pierresteban combined with ur fic has made me like. not be able to listen to the song normal HAHAHA like

youre yelling at me stella and im laughing cause you think youre brando but youll never come close - SO PIERRE. SOOO him being like, up himself in that way (affectionate) and esteban being more grounded about how he perceives not only pierre but them together

you admit you think we're fated, ill be lucky if im your third wife - just like... i think that pierre thinks a lot about fate, and meant to be, and his own faith, and how that translates into like his own view of the world and relationships. and esteban again, looking at the relationships pierre is having with people (piarles...) and also downplaying himself because WAAAH

thats only something you would say in the car we've been breathing the same air for too long - i can almost like. karting to present, sharing spaces, being in too long road trips together, but also obviously 'say in the car' their racing career, breathing the same air (same spaces, same career paths) for too long, the inherent like clashing in their relationship, but also the acknowledgement kind of that... it will pass???

obviously the chorus. OBVIOUSLY THEM

"would it have killed you to call me pretty instead" so many thoughts about this. so many

if the snow wasn't coming down so hard i would open the door and walk home its only a couple miles - i can literally see them becoming frustrated with each other like this and they're both too stubborn to back out of it now, especially as adults with all their history... SCREAM!!!! completely overcome, worms in my brain

every single song off lucy dacus' home video needs a fic to it I'm not kidding in the slightest. and first time needs at least two (starfish on the kitchen floor and TBD but it's on my mind). Ok under the cut cuz long rambly answer

i do think Lucy's narrator in her songs has a remarkable bite to her perspective which i really appreciate here. like. the idea of this guy - thinking he's great acting so cool and then realizing later it's just because she's young and he wasn't any different than anyone else. that perspective cuts i think because we've all - outgrown people like that, right? and it works well despite not being a direct parallel. she captures these emotions that are so universal with such specific detail.

fate... oh fate. i do think religion is one of my fav themes/topics in writing and fic is no exception. i think with pierre i do have a slight aversion just because of my own lack of familiarity with French Catholicism and like. I don't really want to learn? So it's sort of like. How do you play in a way where it's clearly meaningful but not disrespectful and so on. Hence my tendency towards Esteban POV as well. Anyway. The idea that - fate is the only thing that can bring them together, not choice, is a fascinating one. Especially if you sort of go - esteban and pierre were fated to fall out and fated for Alpine and Charles is il predestinado but pierre and Charles choose each other. How does that all fit?

I like your interpretation of the car like a lot!! I've definitely never thought of it like that. You really can taste the stale air of a car ride - of a relationship - that's gone on too long. And it will pass... It will!!

the snow.... not to being it back but... fate again. What must the circumstances demand of you... I will say this segment "what could go wrong.... who doesn't know left from right from wrong" is one of my favorite little bits of a song I love completely and entirely.

I accept and thank you for your brain worms. We both know I have them too!!