#i don’t wanna be annoying either

[grave-st0ned]

spectra my beloved💜👻✨

[tragedyposting]

Thinking abt the girl in college who I told I don’t celebrate Christmas and she cooed and said “that’s so sad,” and suggested that I could if I wanted to, I don’t have to be Christian. It’s not sad, it’s perfectly normal. Plenty of people all around the world don’t celebrate Christmas. I don’t want to?

[buckymorelikefuckme]

i have so many conflicting emotions rn and it’s honestly making it hard for me to want to stay on here anymore. i know i’ve left and come back before, like that’s not new for me, but i feel like i’m losing myself.

there’s so much pressure (mostly self-inflicted) to post as often as possible and to make these giant powerhouse fics like other writers do, and i just can’t do either of those things. that’s not where my “talent” lies. i don’t have fics where the characters are fully fleshed out people with personalities and lives and shit. i’m a one-and-done writer and i never used to think that was a bad thing until recently.

and on top of that, there are certain fics i’m not sure i’m comfortable reading anymore and that makes me feel like absolute shit bc i want to show support to my fellow writers, but there are some fics with particular content within them that can be slightly (or fully) triggering for me. i’ve tried to just soldier through them in the name of support, but it’s really taking a toll on me, mentally and emotionally.

all of this along with real life (as in, outside of this app) stresses and anxieties i’m having to deal with and coddle until things get back to normal for me.

it feels like nothing is going well in every aspect of my life right now and i’m really fighting the impulse to disappear off of social media for the umpteenth time. i’ve made too many amazing friends for me to just dip like that again. literally, y’all (friends and followers) are the one reason i haven’t already left this time.

idk what the purpose of this post was tbh. an update??? i guess? and also maybe a little bit of insight or something. i don’t fuckin know. but i do wanna say that i love each and every one of you so much and i wish i was better at being a person.

[adriancatrin]

redraw of (part of) a lost adventures panel (og below)

[deus-ex-mona]

rage is a ✨way of life✨

[starteas]

I don’t really like sharing my opinions online now that I have a bigger audience (even now I tend to just delete most of my posts and keep it to reblogging/posting art) but sometimes I wish I could dip into talking about random stuff again without feeling like people’s scathing eyes will always be on me.

[largetriangles]

Home posting again

[designernishiki]

okay hot take time with tumblr user designernishiki yet again.

i really don’t get the hype over majimako like. at all. I’ve tried to wrap my head around it but every time I just end up so confused how it’s such a popular pairing and wondering if we played the same game like?? they had no chemistry, barely even knew each other (and what they did know of each other was almost entirely built off desperate traumabonding) and people treat the pairing like it’s the most deep, romantic thing in the world despite there being like. nothing there. at least romantically speaking. it’s honest to god baffling to me.

their most iconic “romantic” image together comes from a scene where makoto wants to fucking run away from him because she wants to find lee, who she fully trusts and who’s in danger (and probably also because majima’s literally just admitted to initially planning to murder her.) and he has to hold her there so she doesn’t get herself killed by running (literally) blindly into the street or something. how on earth is that a romantic scene.

their little sort-of date consists of majima being kind and sympathetic to her, sure, maybe even displaying some surface level feelings, but she’s completely preoccupied because of the massively important issues going on at the time with the lieutenants who wronged tachibana, she’s more or less probably plotting their deaths in her head during that scene, and in the end she purposefully has him run to get takoyaki so she can flat out Leave without him stopping her. because she has other priorities and is Not In The Headspace For A Soft Sentimental Escapade to say the absolute least.

Whatever they were, they were not In Love, they didn’t have time or circumstances for that, or to get to know one another as Actual People rather than as incidental liferafts in the midst of a sea of traumatic, nightmarish events. majima attached himself to her and felt strongly about her safety and eventual return to normalcy because she reminded him of himself and wanted her to have the pleasant civilian life he couldn’t give himself. on her end? honestly I don’t think she felt that connected to him at all up until the end, namely up until when he fixed her watch. and even then “romantic” is not even close to the word id use for what she was feeling– in fact I think that waters it down, if anything. I mean like fuck she was there bringing flowers to her brother’s grave in the spot where he died in front of her i really don’t think this was about romanticism, it was about compassion and selflessness and wishing her good luck in her new, free life, while expecting nothing from her in return. he cared about her and her outcome in life deeply and this would be the case regardless of any romantic feelings for her.

Anyway I didn’t mean for this to turn into an essay and somehow I could go on for longer but I absolutely do not need to. I just. am so secure in my thoughts about this and sometimes seeing how people talk about this relationship and it’s supposed deep romanticism makes me feel like I’m losing my mind or played a completely different game or something ngl. don’t get me wrong, ship whatever you want I’m not saying it’s problematic or something it’s just. bizarre to me how popular and sensationalized it is. and a little frustrating how applying this overdramatic romantic narrative to them can so often water down a dynamic that’s way more nuanced and interesting on an individual character level.

[saintlesbian]

as for the rest of the ep…

Chalynn truthers we won. we fucking won 🍾🍾🍾

Lois trying to talk Ned into making peace w/ Michael and Drew sounds REAL funny knowing that drew and Michael r still planning on pushing him out of ELQ again. fuck those two forever actually, y’all can make peace in hell

speaking of drewfus, I wish I could be glad he’s leaving but it’s not for very long and crew is gonna be annoying abt it I’m sure. this version of drew is such a shell of himself that anytime hes brought up I just feel disgusted 😖

I’m getting tired of Sonny bringing up Carly when talking to nina it just feels WEIRD… I really don’t wanna see a Carson reunion but it’s starting to feel like the pikeman/cyrus bs might end up being the catalyst for one… sonaritas should we be worried. 😟

also Tolly agreeing to use krissy as the surrogate… wasn’t there literally a whole argument against doing this months back that resulted in tolly icing krissy out for several weeks…? once again I must assert this whole surrogate storyline is a load of barnacles

[maiteo]

https://www.instagram.com/p/C8R67G1s_cl/?igsh=MWRxMjFxdDd4ZmM5ZQ==

maia the copa america rosters are out! in case you need to do some cawk research 👀

im on it🫡

[whoblewboobear]

It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)

But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.

And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.

Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay

[coulsons-band]

let’s maybe not feed into the paparazzi’s gross habit of regularly invading people’s privacy and stalkerish behavior by not engaging or reposting or reblogging or editing any of their “candid” photos mmkay pumpkins??

[jefferythejelly]

one of my foolish clips got reblogged by a couple of the bigger qs.mp/h.ermitblr people it’s joever for me my notes are in shambles

[rishiguro]

i need a certain 191 cm tall vleague division 1 middle blocker to fuck my thoughts and feelings out of me

[sweet-as-kiwis]

Colour changes my beloathed

[yoohyeon]

My mom used the complain I told her in secret to win her argument so now my dad is mad at me for complaining to my mom… my mom was at mad at my dad for making me do something, that actually didn’t even bother me, while I’m unwell just to make my situation worst by making me panic 😐