#i don’t feel human anymore
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sailoraspencosplays · 3 months ago
Text
If we had a daughter, I'd watch and could not save her
The emotional torture, from the head of your high table
She'd do what you taught her, she'd meet the same cruel fate
So now I've gotta run, so I can undo this mistake
At least I've gotta try
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?
And the silence haunts our bed chamber
You make me do too much labour
All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
Nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant
Just an appendage, live to attend him
So that he never lifts a finger
24∕7, baby machine
So he can live out his picket fence dreams
It's not an act of love if you make her
YOU MAKE ME DO. TOO. MUCH. LABOUR.
i am so afraid.
8 notes · View notes
virgothozul · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
300 notes · View notes
boxheadpaint · 5 months ago
Text
if I look back on my earliest of posts (which I will not do for my health) I’ll feel the need to ask that young man how he feels and if he knows how he feels. Did something come out of sync along the way between emotion and language and expression to resemble something like fear or was this always the trajectory. Would also ask him not to eat entire cakes by himself in his room in the dark looking at a laptop on the floor which all on their own are fine but combined is like actively inviting chaos into your life (Ants and migraines)
29 notes · View notes
why-the-heck-not · 1 year ago
Text
🥺🥺 I’ve been going to the gym during the day this autumn instead of the morning. Today went during the morning like I used to, and the cleaner greeted me and said that he thought I had quit bc hadn’t seen me around, and if everything’s good and that made my day
118 notes · View notes
quietwingsinthesky · 10 months ago
Text
the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?
to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.
#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they#already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that.#but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did.#and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe.#but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people.#a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part?#but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt.#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here#theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never#escape.#i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord.#but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s#physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering…#but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong#its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know?#i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond#their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!!#what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly*#human!!!#enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one.#does that make sense?
28 notes · View notes
simgerale · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
28 notes · View notes
miiiwu · 3 months ago
Text
.
#sorry ignore this it’s post-election venting.#like just completely unproductive doomerism I need to get off my chest#ok real talk I have been feeling so hopeless and dead and depressed since the election.#I hate this country and I don’t think it can be fixed. not meaningfully in my lifetime.#I think I need to leave this place but im not financially able and im a transmasc person in a red state#with unsupportive parents.#I’ve given up hope on the idea that ‘ppl here are generally good and just misled into voting for the worse of the 2 evils’ and know just#feel these people are subhumanly stupid. beyond saving. no hope. they are voids. cesspits. empty headed useless ontologically evil braindead#soulless husks. it is useless to try to reason with them or inform them or convince them of anything. they are lost causes. it’s better#to leave this country while they rot in the dying empire They chose to make this bad.#they Want this. they Want fascism. they don’t care about other ppl#they are individualism poisoned Americans with no interest in a better future.#I hate them. I hate Americans. I hate my family. I hate my community.#none of it is worth fighting for anymore. they are lost causes.#the best course of action is to leave. but I can’t so im stuck with these fucking useless morons#so until then I have to rot with them. im stuck in this fucking tar pit of a country#with these fucking tar pits of ppl#illiterate fucking rednecks and functional alcoholic suburbanites. the fucking moldy white bread of humanity#I hope we all die. we deserve this.#useless fucking dnc allergic to winning.#barely coherent braindead voterbase. useless fucking male loneliness truther incels#the world would be better off if this country was fucking nuked off the map.#sorry silly fandom mutuals for being a whiny american. but things r materially going 2 get so much worse for me and my friends next year#project 2025 is terrifying and trump wants to put tariffs on everything which is going to cause prices of everything 2 skyrocket even more#and just knowing ppl are reveling in the ‘liberal tears’ aka ppl being upset that their lives r about 2 get worse makes my skin crawl#and makes me nauseous. these ppl are not human#they don’t care about Palestine they don’t care about Ukraine they don’t care about Sudan#and they don’t care about trans ppl gay ppl any racial minorities#some of them Are racial minorities and want 2 separate themselves from the ‘bad ones’#im just fucking disgusted by the ppl here voting against their own interests bc they r fucking dumb and misinformed.
12 notes · View notes
gravedigg · 2 months ago
Text
Btw I’ve given up on veilguard for now. I’ve been trying to just slog through it but at best it’s boring and at worst the dialogue makes me wanna pull my own teeth out. After seeing that particular scene with Taash, I’m just too worldweary to keep pushing, at least for now. As a nonbinary person I kinda wish they’d just called me a slur and moved on.
16 notes · View notes
flowercrowngods · 1 year ago
Text
always so funky to be reminded that your parents might love you but they don’t actually like you very much
35 notes · View notes
sootcrow · 8 months ago
Text
Wishful dreaming
Tumblr media
I can only hope, someday.
Happy Pride Month.
18 notes · View notes
loverboybrightsideghost · 5 months ago
Text
me when i remember that i am not afraid to keep on living i am not afraid to walk this world alone honey if you stay you’ll be forgiven nothing you can say can stop me going home 😼😼😼
8 notes · View notes
thebumblingbee · 3 months ago
Text
.
4 notes · View notes
cheekblush · 1 day ago
Text
made a mistake at work today and i just want to kms tbh </3
Tumblr media
#i know making mistakes is only human but not if it’s me you know??? 😭😭😭#had to try soooooo hard to hold back my tears at work but as soon as i was in my dad’s car on the way home i started crying 😔#i wish i wasn’t so hard on myself but i feel so embarrassed humiliated and stupid#and now i feel like my colleagues hate me which probably isn’t true i’m just an emotional cry baby 😭#but i seriously feel horrible and i would love to hide from the world for at least a week 🙈#i told my team leader about my mistake and even though she was nice and understanding i was so hurt and embarrassed it was awful#and of course she noticed the tears in my eyes and i think my crush did too bc he didn’t talk to me at all after that happened#they probably think i’m so childish 😭😭😭 i’m sorry i’m such an emotional bitch with no self esteem that takes everything too personal#it’s the capricorn in me… i’m too much of a perfectionist like everyone can make mistakes EXCEPT ME#that’s what happens when you measure your self worth based on your achievements everything comes crashing down after just one mistake#i feel so foolish 😔#on a good note my crush actually remembered my birthday and congratulated me belatedly bc he was sick for a week#he actually initiated some conversations today but after that situation happened he didn’t talk to me at all anymore 💔#he probably really thinks i’m a childish baby now 🥲#i don’t take criticism well bc my mom used to (and still does tbh) berate for every single little thing#so now i think that even constructive criticism (which is obviously good and needed!!!) is aimed at me as a person & always cry 🙃#god i wish i was normal#☁️
4 notes · View notes
the-count-and-the-raven · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
Using Will’s ig story reposts as a way to tell you tumblr ppl to go listen to Human Zoo their stuff is super cool 🫵
Extra propaganda if you need more reasons: (see under cut)
- they have 2 songs made with Will (“Aphrodite, your electric sexiness” and “Wealth & Hellness) both fucking amazing songs (but I’m assuming most ppl seeing this have probably already listened to both at least a little bit)
- become rachel
- they’re very fun & silly ppl look here
- and many more reasons i can’t think of rn bc I’m eepy
Are there any HZ listeners on tumblr bc if so I’ve seen nothing from yall. Rachel please reblog / reply (/nf)
12 notes · View notes
snailsfall · 1 month ago
Text
I can’t sleep because I keep getting myself worked up over all the shitty things in my life and I can’t even talk about it to anyone because I have no one to talk like that with, but man my job is killing me and I’m on the verge of just giving up man
2 notes · View notes
angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months ago
Text
ive got to get my shit together holy fuck
5 notes · View notes