#propaganda to the tumblrinas

[the-count-and-the-raven]

Using Will’s ig story reposts as a way to tell you tumblr ppl to go listen to Human Zoo their stuff is super cool 🫵

Extra propaganda if you need more reasons: (see under cut)

- they have 2 songs made with Will (“Aphrodite, your electric sexiness” and “Wealth & Hellness) both fucking amazing songs (but I’m assuming most ppl seeing this have probably already listened to both at least a little bit)

- become rachel

- they’re very fun & silly ppl look here

- and many more reasons i can’t think of rn bc I’m eepy

Are there any HZ listeners on tumblr bc if so I’ve seen nothing from yall. Rachel please reblog / reply (/nf)

[rowesam]

J'suis qu'un mammifère, de sang et de fer, d'amour et de griffe

[riminiriddle]

Sometimes when I'm really tired and delusional I'll think my character in Skyrim looks really good and just be like...

Mama, how could anyone be racist towards you? You just shot the mother cunt right through F. Slut Fuckzjizzrald's skull...and then I remember who I made her canonical husband.

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

friends, tumblrinas, countrymen... today? i offer you WIND BREAKER propaganda, tomorrow? who knows (it'll probably be more WIND BREAKER propaganda)

[hotvintagepoll]

Conrad Veidt (The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, The Man Who Laughs)— oh my god look at him in Caligari. I specifically said that he's from this because him as Cesare is just. MMMMM. he's so wet and sad and scrungly. and little. he's like a kitten left alone in a dark alley except he's also killed people (not his fault). something wrong with him (Cesare). as for Conrad himself. oh my god look at him... them big ole eyes and the walk of some fucking thing creature

Gene Wilder (Bonnie and Clyde, The Producers)—Gene Wilder's first starring role was a pathetic little guy who was lured into committing crimes and panicked about it, then continued committing the same crimes in prison!

This is round 4 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Conrad Veidt:

I mean just look at him. The wet cat energy. The ghostly eyes. He did the monster mash before anybody. Where would we be today without him, he even has one (1) song on spotify. I regularly forget he's dead and wonder what his next movie will be. He slays in any role. The Ultimate Skrunkle.

He's the ultimate scrungly to me, the basis for many of our scrungly guys today. he's so skinny and pale and he wears so much eye makeup

He was THE bisexual goth tumblr sexyman of early film. Seriously the old timey Tumblrinas would send him fanmail about wanting him to choke them. He inspired the designs for the Joker and Jafar,and was nicknamed the “Demon of the Silver Screen” for his horror roles. His first wife divorced him for crossdressing. Hitler sent him hate mail for speaking out about antisemitism. He really loved his wife and told the Germans to go fuck themselves when they threatened his job if he didn’t divorce her for being Jewish. Just look at me and tell me this guy isn’t scrungly he’s like a personification of the emo kid from Horton hears a who

[cw the below clip depicts assault/abduction and could be scary for some viewers]

Gene Wilder:

"As I pull together submissions in my mind, I keep finding myself with the question "Is he scrungly or just Jewish?" And I worry. What is scrungly, if it depends on sidestepping Hollywood Leading Lady/Man standards? But by god, Gene Wilder is scrungly."

"Excellently scrungly, even in his debut film. And the Producers requires no explanation. Big this energy":

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Crack Ship War - Semi Finals!

Propaganda under the cut.

Reishigi:

Vinsmoke x Swordsman That one cover page.

Reiju being a sapphic icon was already canon in my heart but the way she cuddles up to Tahigi in a recent cover illustration just convinced me further. Good for them, Tashigi deserves a badass gf and Reiju someone who will treat her right.

That color spread is very lesbian

All of the manga readers have seen THAT cover page, and the tumblrinas probably did too after tumblr blew up.

Reiju is definitely looking at Tashigi with lust in her eyes.

LETS GO LESBIANS! There was literally no reason for Oda to illustrate Reiju leaning down on Reiju with her tongue out like that, the both of them in short dresses while drinking. Reiju cradling her face…

Oda's personal crack-ship, apparently. He drew them in a color spread because apparently he had a vision that no-one else shared and he needed to let it out in the world. And honestly, Oda cooked with this one.

Oda drew all the propaganda I needed.

There is SO much chemistry in the colorspread alone, but if that isn’t enough to convince you, please imagine Reiju flirting in the exact same loser way as her brother. But for her somehow it works because Tashigi is an even bigger loser.

I think Reiju should kiss all the pretty girls and according to the 1108 cover Oda agrees with me.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the recent color spread but there was nothing straight about how Reiju was holding Tashigi. She had her arm around her and is licking her lips. Tashigi looks very flustered. I’ve now decided they are gay for each other. Just trust me everyone

Dragodile:

Crocodad

Luffy's divorced dads fr Dragon can't be around sand or else he'll end up taking about his ex to anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby On days that are particularly stormy/windy (if dragon has wether powers) Crocodile is in a mood They long for each other but their past and present complicates things The divorce was definitely messy.

Product of the inexplicably popular fan theory that Crocodile gave birth to Luffy.

Technically a crackship but it has the potential to be the funniest canon ship? X'D

crocomom theory elite. also they both have scaley names.

I'm so goddamn interested in their hypothetical divorce. Arguably, more than their hypothetical relationship.

[looneylounna]

kremy propaganda: as a lifelong tumblrina, i can say that one of the most defining qualities of traditional tumblr sexymen has been the fact that they are conventionally unattractive. sans undertale, wheatley from portal, the onceler—if you found a random person on the street, showed them these guys, and said “omg, aren’t they so hot?” that person would be worried for your sanity. the fact is that gideon coal is simply too hot. he’s not a tumblr sexyman. he is literally just a sexy man. they’re two very different things. plus i think kremy’s hot and i’ve been here since 2014, so i feel like that’s major points in his favor 

Thank you for your case as to why your fellow voter should vote for kremy Lecroux as the host will put this case with the other propaganda, then at end round 2, see if this works for team kremy to win the polls

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Quarterfinals, Poll 4

Propaganda under the cut

John Gaius, The Emperor Undying, God

Gaslight: When he resurrected his best friends he took away all their memories and gave them new names. He never reveals to them that he was the one who killed everyone on earth in the first place. He really plays up the "benevolent God" act Gatekeep: As a God, everyone is vying for his Favour and he is the one who gets to decide who gets it. He also doesnt share his knowledge of how to become immortal without killing your best friend. Girlboss: Literally made himself God. Never strayed from his ten thousand year old plan of Revenge. Rules an entire solar system and is colonizing more.

Jod is a frequent gaslight and gatekeep, however he falls more under the girlflop the girlboss. All of his plans go wrong but goddamn if he's not trying. Horrible ideas from an even worse person. Whent above gasligting and just straight up wiped his friends memories. Gatekeeping the knowledge of the universe. Had a child he didn't know about for 18 years and only found out cause she showed up dead(she's fine now(mostly)), girlboss move. Had a threesome with two of the gaslit friends, this would be less gross if he wasn't middle-aged. Gatekeeping the planets(I cannot explain this one). Ressurected humanity but also killed a lot of cows(girlboss). Put the soul of the earth in a woman and then put her in prison(but not before killing half of the amigos). Anticaptalist, bisexual, father. He has babygirl energy

Killed entirety of humanity and the whole solar system save a handful of billionaires and their victims, then resurrected the sun and a select handful of humans, wiped their memories, and established a religion in which he is god for over ten thousand years. Also an ex-tumblrina (probably) and goth twitch streamer (definitely).

Killed almost all of humanity, the sun and the solar system and then resurrected some of them deliberately without their memories and didn’t tell them that he killed them in the first place, and also told them that he was god. Renamed his friends after killing and resurrecting them. Set up imbalanced and toxic power dynamics among his inner circle that led to half of them either killing themselves or being killed by the other in each pair in order for half the group to become immortal saints, something he didn’t tell them wasn’t actually necessary to reach that sort of state. Lied to the surviving friends about why the ghosts of the planets in the solar system were hunting them, he told them they were after all of them because of the way they’d become saints which meant they could never go home, but they were actually only ever after him. Also because of this lie he was able to manipulate them into fighting the ghosts and dying in the process, saying that they would kill him which would destroy the sun, when actually they couldn’t kill him and also the ghosts were after just him so everybody would be fine if they just stopped hanging out with him (this is true in a LOT of senses actually). When he decided to get new immortal saints he specifically asked for the heirs of the houses, who were mostly younger in the 16-22 range and therefore easy to manipulate especially after killing their best friend (again, he knows that isn’t necessary and is asking it of a group of teens/young adults). When one of the people who was successful appears to have done it wrong, he pretends to be a mentor or father figure to her face (knowing that that is something extremely important to her) while having one of his surviving original friends try to kill her without her knowing he was behind that. On the girlboss front, I think he kinda thinks he’s a girlboss more than he actually is one, but he’s so good at the gaslight bit he’ll have you believing that too.

Ianthe Tridentarius

She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate

Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.

"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "

She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.

Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top

idk just everything about her

her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.

she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.

Artist: @midnightcrows

[billboard-hotties-tourney]

REMINDER: Vote for the ALBUM COVER that is HOTTER, not the hotter artist or the better cover/album

Propaganda for News of the World: "This is my 'hear me out' nomination. Boys dressed in silky white, bloody and barefoot, tumbling through the strong hands of a giant. Don't lie I know some of you tumblrinas are into it"

Propaganda for Percy: none

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 5, Match 2

propaganda below the cut! (wall of text warning)

Selena:

"truly probably one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked this earth. voice of an angel, dazzling smile, looks like she smells good"

"if u don't vote selena ur mexicanphobic /j"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"

[lmchaptertitlebracket]

Hit 1862 novel Les Misérables has many wonderful book and chapter titles, but which one is the Best?? The people (i.e. tumblrinas) shall determine once and for all.

We’ll start with choosing the best translation for each title, and then we'll match them up in a big bracket!

English language translations because they’re the only ones I’m familiar with, sorry! I’ll put what translation is from what translator(s) under the cut, but will leave it out of the polls.

Witness The Spreadsheet™️ here, and please submit propaganda for your favorite titles here!

If I make an error in a poll, please let me know!

blog run by @gloomth-and-wanderings :D

[whitehairandtraumatized-bracket]

White Hair and Trauma Brawl Round 1; Poll 63

(glass art by @bandtrees)

remember, voting is based on swag, trauma, and favoritism!!

trauma and propaganda under the cut!

Trauma! 

Storm: “A plane crash killed her parents and left her buried alive beneath the rubble, giving her intense claustrophobia for years. After she escaped, she spent years working as a thief on the streets of Cairo to survive.”

“She was orphaned after a plane crashed where she lived and killed her whole family. Then she was forced to wander alone for a while. And well, she's a mutant in a very anti-mutant world.”

Glass: Lives in the apocalypse. Has had several near-death encounters

Propaganda!

Storm: She's like practically the original white haired blurbo.

Glass: They're like Tumblrinas in that they want to kiss The Fae, they use they/them pronouns and are really silly, they're also Asian who doesn't love some good rep!! And they keep calling one of their friends "squeaker" which is really cute

[eurevision]

Eurevision: An Educational Music Celebration, A Contest, A Party

Hello! I'm your emcee, Hammer (@soul-hammer). I like corny music competitions and am not a fan of imperialism. Neither are you, and that's why you need Eurevision in your life.

What is 'Eurevision'?

While every musical genre is political, the musical contest Eurovision has repeatedly demonstrated that the contest-makers do not care about genocide. And as such, we should not give them air time, attention, our money, or our forgiveness. But also, we should not live lives of non-sequined asceticism. A world with a Verka Serduchka-shaped hole in it is not a world I'd want to live in.

Meanwhile, every week, tumblr users seem to reveal their musical ignorance. Nobody knows any rap. Nobody knows any country. Gospel? Never heard of her. Metal is when there's long hair and wizards and corpse paint, right? Pop is shallow and frivolous and that's bad. No Dr. Demento archives for me, I'll stick to my Weird Al, thank you very much.

I do not mean to write this in a punitive or judgmental way, rather, I think that depriving yourself of bops is a crime. There is so much good stuff out there!

Eurevision marries these two trends and also caters to the psychological needs of the Eurovision fan. We can get togetherness, music discovery, flashy outfits, and friendly competition all in one, without ever having to directly support the military-industrial complex. We can broaden our musical horizons together.

How does it work?

Every half-week (it would be a week, but that would take forever, because we're going one genre at a time, for reasons discussed below), there will be a different genre theme. The genre will probably be one that mainstream American white middle-income audiences have less familiarity with-- a big part of Eurevision will be discovery/novelty. However, Eurevision highly values genre experts, and depends on them. If you've ever been frustrated by your fellow tumblrinas' cultural chauvinism, now you can prove to them they've been missing out. If you've ever seen someone proudly exclaim that of course they listen to rap, Hamilton is their favorite musical, now is your chance to set them right. The more obscure the better.

Each half-week, readers will submit their favorite songs. They will have a day for this submission. There can be songs that incorporate several genres, but the genre of the week MUST be the predominant one. After a day of submissions, a poll will go up with 10 of the songs. Readers will listen to each song, and vote for their favorite. That song will go on to the next round. Readers can submit propaganda for the song of their choice (INCLUDING song-inspired outfits, because this couldn't be a proper Eurovision substitute without deranged outfits), little history lessons on the genre in question, they can start shit in the comments, and recommend still more listening.

There will be 10 genres total. After the representative song from each genre is picked, they will all battle it out in a final round. There may or may not be a 'wild card' too.

tl;dr/timeline-

Pick genre

One day to solicit songs representing that genre

10 representative genre songs chosen

Half a week of polling to decide best of those songs, best moves forward

Repeat 9 more times until 10 different songs from 10 different genres are chosen

Final poll battle, winner chosen

Unless something knocks us off schedule, this should take six weeks. Seven weeks max.

Why not do all the genre battles simultaneously?

I suspect that doing the contest that way will sequester each genre and allow listeners to only listen to their genre of choice. Which defeats one of the purposes of Eurevision! You can't get out of listening to new music that easily.

What does the winner get?

Bragging rights.

[germiyahu]

The way the Brainrot Left brays and hoots and hollers about 10/7 in my mind is more evidence they don't see Palestinians as complex human actors in a conflict, just as trauma tokens or vague forces of nature. If you grab these Lefties by the ear and ask them to acknowledge 10/7 as an atrocity, as a traumatizing episode in the millennia story of antisemitism, they'll do one of a few things:

Deny it even happened. Which is absurd on the face of it. These people were cheering when they thought Hamas stood even a chance of winning. But after the public backlash and the impending retaliation, suddenly these brave freedom fighters couldn't be bothered to show up for battle? So why praise "resistance" against Israeli colonization while denying that Israel is retaliating against something? 10/7 took years to plan and it took a lot of smart motivated people to pull it off. Hamas are not stupid and they're not disorganized. You're doing a disservice to the alleged antifascist anticolonial group you love so much.

Claim it was a psyop. Again, kind of does a disservice to your brave freedom blorbos if you think Israel planned it all, and worse, that they duped Palestinians into playing right into their plan. So you basically think Hamas are completely incapable of doing anything, and you think "this is what the revolution looks like!" is the occupying Apartheid regime staging the revolution for cameras? This is just "how does Hamas have color printers lol fake news!" again.

Say "this started before 10/7 zioscum!" And this is more subtle, but these "well what did you expect to happen" and "when nonviolent resistance fails, the People only have one choice!" takes are equally condescending and dismissive. Hamas are not automata, they are not brainless organisms reacting to stimuli. When Israel acts, they decide to react. When Israel does not act, they are actively planning ways in which they themselves can act because they have declared an unending war on the state of Israel. No matter how long a truce lasts they will always want to break it. Because that's the philosophy they ascribe to. That's the politique they have chosen. Acting like anything in the Israel-Palestine conflict is a natural inevitable instance of the law of cause and effect is to strip the agency of the actors involved.

Hamas, and the Palestinians they "lead," are not pawns, they're not objects. They're people. Civilians participated in 10/7, some civilians volunteered to hold hostages for Hamas. Civilians choose to abide by Israel's warnings and flee to Rafah. Hamas tries to stop them and steals their aid. Hamas planned and executed 10/7 despite the two sides being at peace and there being no noticeable worsening societal stress in Gaza. Hamas and their allies launched unprecedented rocket barrages at Israel with the intent of maximizing civilian damage and terror. You notice all those verbs? That have human active agents as their subjects?

Palestinians and Israelis are doing things to each other. The passive voice language serves to obscure this fact. And these people have motivated reasons for doing those things. Those reasons can be complex and inscrutable and go back decades, centuries. They can even feel inevitable or natural. But everything going on is a choice or a decision made by someone, and executed by people who willingly follow that someone. We've seen Palestinians and Israelis stand against those powerful people. Israelis are protesting and going to jail. Palestinians are demonstrating against the fascist regime that's had its boot on their necks for almost 20 years.

I don't like the passive voice trick being used when Israel does something either, but the battalions of the Tumblrina Red Army have a bad habit of doing something even more annoying. They don't report on things as "rockets were launched into Israel," they deny anything is done to Israel. If they can't do that, they claim it's propaganda, they invent or hyperfocus on what they consider an equivalent Israeli action against Hamas and say "they started it!" Anything Hamas does or has done or could do to Israel, in their minds, is a natural inevitable perfectly just and rational and good reaction to something Israel did. What did you expect to happen? Um this doesn't matter because Israel did something worse see!

Hamas' actions are meaningless, without motivation, without underlying philosophy, without any kind of actionable goal. Why should they care about Hamas' charter? Why should they care about the origin of "from the river to the sea"? The why of Hamas or any Palestinian resistance doing anything doesn't matter to them. They only care that these groups are fighting so they can write their own values and ideals onto them. That's why in their minds the Gaza War is the biggest thing going on in the world, and the biggest thing in decades. That's why they see this as such an existential battle against capitalism and American hegemony, and why they think they even have a stake in land disputes in the Middle East at all.

I hope you can see how this is utterly dehumanizing language wrapped up in the pretext of support. Hamas fighters are not lines of computer code who act without thought. Aggression against Israel is not some divine natural punishment from the social justice gods. We'll never get anywhere so long as people refuse to see Palestinian militant groups as people with agency. Is it a wonder the Tumblr Left seems incapable of condemning them when they do something genuinely immoral? They think Hamas are amoral, because they truly don't see them as humans.

[hotvintagepoll]

Elsa Lanchester (The Bride of Frankenstein, Witness for the Prosecution, Mary Poppins)—Surely somebody's already submitted Elsa Lanchester for this right? Right??? Because her scrungle levels are OFF THE CHARTS in literally everything. The way she's Katy Nanna straight-up refusing to spend another minute with Jane and Michael Banks because she has DIGNITY thank you very much. The way she's Mary Goddamn Shelley stuck listening to Lord Byron mansplaining literature like "ha ha maybe even YOUR little monster story will be published" and she shoots back "It *WILL* be published, *I* think!!!" in the most bright-as-nails fuck-you-Byron voice imaginable. The way she's a nurse herding her lawyer charge through a sordid love-triangle case and we gradually realize the real love story was between her and the lawyer all along. The way she's a clandestine witch casting hexes on telephones, the way she's a princess's PA and helps an old friend steal an invitation card, the way she's a cleaning lady who goes to Germany to personally assassinate Hitler, the way she's a posh village worthy trying to impress Danny Kaye, the way ERRGHH i could go on just look at her scrungle.

Conrad Veidt (The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, The Man Who Laughs)— oh my god look at him in Caligari. I specifically said that he's from this because him as Cesare is just. MMMMM. he's so wet and sad and scrungly. and little. he's like a kitten left alone in a dark alley except he's also killed people (not his fault). something wrong with him (Cesare). as for Conrad himself. oh my god look at him... them big ole eyes and the walk of some fucking thing creature

These are the the quarterfinals for the scrungly little guy contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Elsa:

Conrad:

I mean just look at him. The wet cat energy. The ghostly eyes. He did the monster mash before anybody. Where would we be today without him, he even has one (1) song on spotify. I regularly forget he's dead and wonder what his next movie will be. He slays in any role. The Ultimate Skrunkle.

He's the ultimate scrungly to me, the basis for many of our scrungly guys today. he's so skinny and pale and he wears so much eye makeup

He was THE bisexual goth tumblr sexyman of early film. Seriously the old timey Tumblrinas would send him fanmail about wanting him to choke them. He inspired the designs for the Joker and Jafar,and was nicknamed the “Demon of the Silver Screen” for his horror roles. His first wife divorced him for crossdressing. Hitler sent him hate mail for speaking out about antisemitism. He really loved his wife and told the Germans to go fuck themselves when they threatened his job if he didn’t divorce her for being Jewish. Just look at me and tell me this guy isn’t scrungly he’s like a personification of the emo kid from Horton hears a who

[cw the below clip depicts assault/abduction and could be scary for some viewers]

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Crack Ship War - Battle For 3rd Place

CoraBelle art by @halacska-fins

Propaganda under the cut.

Reishigi:

Vinsmoke x Swordsman That one cover page.

Reiju being a sapphic icon was already canon in my heart but the way she cuddles up to Tahigi in a recent cover illustration just convinced me further. Good for them, Tashigi deserves a badass gf and Reiju someone who will treat her right.

That color spread is very lesbian

All of the manga readers have seen THAT cover page, and the tumblrinas probably did too after tumblr blew up.

Reiju is definitely looking at Tashigi with lust in her eyes.

LETS GO LESBIANS! There was literally no reason for Oda to illustrate Reiju leaning down on Reiju with her tongue out like that, the both of them in short dresses while drinking. Reiju cradling her face…

Oda's personal crack-ship, apparently. He drew them in a color spread because apparently he had a vision that no-one else shared and he needed to let it out in the world. And honestly, Oda cooked with this one.

Oda drew all the propaganda I needed.

There is SO much chemistry in the colorspread alone, but if that isn’t enough to convince you, please imagine Reiju flirting in the exact same loser way as her brother. But for her somehow it works because Tashigi is an even bigger loser.

I think Reiju should kiss all the pretty girls and according to the 1108 cover Oda agrees with me.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the recent color spread but there was nothing straight about how Reiju was holding Tashigi. She had her arm around her and is licking her lips. Tashigi looks very flustered. I’ve now decided they are gay for each other. Just trust me everyone

CoraBelle:

A surprisingly popular ship considering they never interacted, but I see the appeal. Both former Marines, both loving and caring adoptive parents.

Two of the best parents in One Piece, imagine if they both lived and raised a happy little mixed family together.

Best adoptive Dad + Best adoptive Mom. I think they would vibe.

Cora is Bell-mere's malewife failure and she loves him. She enjoys making him flustered and tripping him up. He is just heads over heels in love with her, he loves her so much Just the thought of Bell-mere making a man who's twice her size completely melt for her fills me with joy. They were both apart of the Marines and ended up adopting children while on the job. I'm not exactly sure who died first but learning about your lover's death (if it wasn't covered up) is amazing angst potential. They're watching over their kids in the afterlife together.

Dead serial adopting Marines smokers, what else is there to say?

hi i’m back with my corabelle agenda. these two are a match made in heaven. literally. they have so many narrative parallels, it hurts. they both sacrificed themselves for their adoptive kids’ longevity, they’re both former marines who deserted their positions in order to give these kids a better life. they were both killed by a flintlock, and their last words to their kids were “i love you.” !!! it’s uncanny!! they could have known each other when they were marines, too! bell-mere is just one year older than rosinante. they were from different blues, but there’s a chance they could have run into each other or even trained together for a period of time. bell-mere would be the perfect friend for a young rosinante who’s preoccupied and stressed over his brother. in terms of personality, that’s where we get some of that juicy opposites-attract theory into play. they do have a lot in common tho! some common flaws, (hotheaded, a bit irrational, impulsive), and some common strengths as well, (determined, fearless, values the strength of a smile)! but otherwise, bell-mere isn’t afraid to lay the flirt on and seems a bit more extroverted, where rosinante is a little more reserved and keeps a very small circle of friends, (literally one and it’s sengoku). someone direct like bell-mere could easily draw him out of his shell, and someone down-to-earth and occasionally goofy like rosinante could help keep her grounded.

Both marines with rough lives who seemingly picked up children when they weren’t expecting it. Bellemere would make a great mom to Law and Corazon would make a great dad to Nami and Nojiko. Both of them would bond over the bullshit of the world!!

Art by @gendervapor14