#i do wanna keep it messy anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

basslinegrave · 6 months

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animatic update. actually did something and got sketches done except for the final part which should be like 8 more frames... then i gotta redo them all properly ough

#i wonder if i just lightly painted over some if that wouldnt be better than trying to do lineart #i do wanna keep it messy anyway #i made one frame that i really like so far and im glad its gonna stay there for several seconds but i feel like its not good if static #a 2 or 3 frame animation would save it but doing that with painting over it... nuh uh #i just want to have it done like. fast so #get it out of the system

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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 8 months

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tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

#qsmp neg #qsmp crit #discourse #<- for blacklists #im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight #and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense #its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses #so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter #but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy #and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one #and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over #and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear #and it starts getting messy #but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition #and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it #but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun'#then i think there are ways to build better win conditions #anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes #jk im too busy to apply #but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it

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lucaswarmhotchocolate · 12 days

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Muggle college AU where Harry sneaks into tom’s dorm room (after making sure to drug tom’s water earlier ofc) and takes pictures of him while he sleeps and posts them online. because god fucking dammit, Tom riddle is the most annoying RA that could possibly exist, and he wants a little bit of light revenge.

Harry realizes that “light revenge” may have gotten out of hand around the same time he started stripping Tom, and suddenly he was balls deep in both Tom riddle and a felony. The gravity of the situation did nothing to prevent Harry from taking a video, even though it was just more evidence that could be used against Harry.

#i don’t wanna over-work it so have a barely thought out idea!#tomarry #tom riddle #bottom tom riddle #harry potter #non con #somnophilia #I heart somno if you couldn’t tell #cuz like Tom Riddle is such a brat but he can’t be when he’s unconscious !#I also really like the idea that Harry was convinced Tom was stalking him so of course to confirm this he had to stalk Tom back!#(tom was not stalking him)#(he was too busy figuring out how to get away with another murder)#and so harry decides to finally get revenge on Tom for being an asshole (doing his job and confiscating materials not allowed on campus)#by taking embarrassing pictures of him when he’s at his most vulnerable #the idea was that Harry’d post em online somewhere or use it as blackmail #(harry just wanted to jerk off to em)#but all of a sudden harry is having the best sex of his life (it doesn’t matter that tom’s asleep it’s fine) and he doesn’t want this to be #his only night with Tom #so he leaves Tom all messy and used on his dorm bed with a note telling him to check his phone #which has texts from Harry with the video and pics of their night together <3 #he used his burner phone tho ofc ;-3 #anyways #Tom thinks Harry knows about The Murders (Harry has no clue about The Murders) and freaks out #and eventually offers to let harry fuck him as much as he wants as long as he ‘keeps it secret’#and so starts a horridly fucked up situationship that Tom can’t leave for fear of his murders being exposed #but also he comes to crave these meetings with Harry #meanwhile harry is like the closest thing to a himbo that a stalker can be #he’s just happy to be here (sexually coercing Tom Motherfucking Riddle)#I have many thoughts

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blu3berrydraws · 2 years

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- I was trying to meditate.

- Well, I am trying to spend time with my fiancé

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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year

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'I'm the X' is a banger but let's be real for a second Mr. Spock

#'I'm ready' is also a bop #Christine: Hey I'm gonna take a job opportunity so I'll be away for-#Spock: I will never love again...I can't believe she didn't take our relationship seriously. Not half as seriously as I did...this #is what I get for trusting someone I suppose. My fault. I won't make that mistake again v_v #<- Literally Engaged #saw some people saying Christine is a bitch for 'doing this to' Spock. Which Spock?? The Spock that's engaged?????#Unless he and T'Pring officially broke up in an episode I didn't watch prior to this then Christine could have broken up with him via #a brick through his bedroom window and I still wouldn't be upset on his behalf #bee doodles #EHEHEHHE but it's so funny...I'm the X literally is aesthetically a villain song. Sit DOWN Mr Spock!!!! <3 #Spock: Convinced myself we shared the same feelings...I won't make that mistake again...#Spock when has Christine 'let's keep this secret and casual' ever made you think that??#chrisit*ne/sp*ck is so goofy and so messy HEHEHE wha t are they DOING #anyway please listen to I'm the X by Spock bc it literally sounds like he's about to take over an empire or something #also I'm Ready for if you just wanna have a lil fun <3 #also idk what happened in the season finale I didnt watch it and I won't watch it - something about war v_v #I drew this after watching rhapsody and so thats where I'm drawing from #someone keep Mr Spock off reddit if he finds r/niceguys he's gonna get radicalized

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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🌷🕸️

#i've been thinking about this quite a lot on and off for a while #but to try to process it more i just wanna try to vent:#my sexuality is very messy. even inside my head. so scary. so complicated...?? so just thoughts of it are scary #and like there has only ever been one person who like just thinking about sex with has felt like good #not scary or terrifying. not with all of my avpd symptoms woven in (like one is that idk if i could ever have sex w someone #like actually be with them and be able to look them in the eyes and then also keep talking to them afterwards and not just run away and #never see them again. that's just one thing and this isnt abt that so anyway #like yeah just thinking about sex w him feel ok. safe and comfortable. and enjoyable and like i can and want it #which is smth like... with my other crushes before i've fantasized abt having sex w them but it felt bad and scary ://#and like i didnt actually want sex w them...#and with this person that isnt there. it's scary in a way since like im not experienced at all and idk how it feels irl 💀#but not in the way i usually feel abt it!!!!#so this just in my head #plus the fact that like talking and expressing some of my thoughts TO him ... felt good and safe and comfortable #is actually such a gift from him.... and i'll always treasure this (one of many things haha ^^)#bc he made me experience this and that i can feel good and ok and safe about it #i do feel sad that when this was current i was so cautious and shy bc it was so new to me #i was feeling smth real and genuine emotionally w him and i wasnt just saying stuff ... if that makes sense lmao #hmmm... yeah i've never felt good abt it before that w him. so it was so so new. and i couldnt quite get used to it fast #now im getting messy in my thoughts again sksksk #i just feel like this meant so much to me to just have had it #and idk im just so happy to know that these feelings are possible for me .. and i feel thankful for him that he gave me this not so little #thing/feeling/experience #now... the thing is... he is the only one i've felt all of the things with. like attraction/safe/comfortable/taken seriously etc etc.... so #umm what do i do now? 💀#ig either way im glad i know that this exists for me and that im not incapable of it. even if my avpd makes me feel that way #ok.. skurr skurr?#but yeah sexuality is so fkn scary for me idk it just gets too much i wanna cry T-T

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sillybouquetoflillies · 7 months

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i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk #i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting #but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it #so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life #wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around #so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length #how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg #ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most #i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway #i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!!#i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well #i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately #I DUNNO #i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out #i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems #n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me #i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want #while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰#i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts #i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!!#its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there #i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl #i just dont know what yet #concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent #ok i think this ramble is ovr #im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!

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keii · 2 years

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Woke up w second day curls, put some make up on, tried on some clothes, and then took it off.

#frizzy ass messy hair smh #but idc 🫢#gotta make adjustments to the last dress… it’s too long and I want it shorter #I haven’t worn these out yet LOL #I want to have a reason to but I don’t do shit!!#also I want to be w friends who also like dressing up from time to time too!#can be bums but also I wanna dress up too!#anyway first dress is from free people (secondhand)#second one is a lace on top from Marilyn Monroe by Warner’s also second hand #third dress is from cider #we don’t gate keep here so yeh yeh #most of my clothes lately are second hand haha #x #shrekeii

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nururu · 1 year

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don't ever read the idv wiki..... whoever is in control of that 100% shouldn't be..... everyone who likes this game is Like This

#they add accepted fandom headcanons as factual details and lore #the way they write makes me wanna puke its so pretentious #this has been an ongoing problem #and for a long time (they still might)#ppl would do anything they could to fuck with ghe wiki or like... try to get the ppl in control of it to quit #its been fixed several times #and im pretty sure its just one person who keeps changing it back #idk how wiki stuff works but thats what ive heard #its just so bad it makes me angry when i want to read about characters #like the lore is already so spotty and messy #and then u add like... headcanons as facts #and write like a weirdo #anyways

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highwaydiamonds · 2 years

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As someone who hates the sisyphean task of cleaning, how dare my mental health prefer a clean room.

#like come on brain - you could have made this one easier on the rest of me but ( as usual) NO You didn't #did i think about this as i sit in my tidy bedroom where everything just looks a lot cheerier and cozy and happy now that it's clean? yes #did it literally take me DAYS to get it this clean - and by this clean i still have laundry and stuff to do - so it's not perfect #but it looks like it p much is #and while my skin has not been cleared no my depression cured - it certainly is a boost to feel like this is a refuge #i actually want to spend time in her and feel like it's a nice room to be in - awaaaaaaaay from the other people i live with #and lbr - i need a plce to get awaaaaaaaay from them (and ok fine vice versa most likely)#but still - it would be a lot simpler if my brain liked a messy room more- my lazy parts would prefer that- but no #depression brain says -BITCH CLEAN UP - you will be happier and capable of doing some of the things if it's clean #also - you will feel LESS OF THE BAD HORRORS if it is clean #so UGH - FINE i will have to work to keep it clean - I GUESS.#i should reread camus's myth of sisyphus because iirc he didn't talk about dishes or laundry or room cleaning in that #he probably talked about death - been too many years since i read it - i don't remember - probs death and suicide #but not cleaning - he should have talked about cleaning. or wanting to die when you realized living means more cleaning #that would have been way relatable - but anyway - here we are- i'm not dead - and not planning on being so any time soon hopefully #partly because there is shit i still wanna do - but also partly because this room looks p decent and i'm not gonna make it messy #especially not by dying in here when it takes forever to get it clean #moral of the story: cleaning makes you feel like you wanna die but when it's done for the moment you'll be like i'll do that another day #because now the room is clean and dying in there would be a waste of the efforts of cleaning. just appreciate the space - vibe w/ it #and then you realize - ok life is maybe okay - and there's art and books and flowers and sex and chocolate and cute animals #so even if there are sisyphean tasks - and there are many - well do em anyway - brain will like it and then get back to the good stuff #thus endeth the tag saga after a short text post #welcome to how shit is around here sometimes

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moe-broey · 1 year

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It is taking ALL of my strength to NOT doomer post on my epic cool and fun largely just a safe haven tumblr blog about queer grief and having to just Live With It but what I WILL say is I am constantly asking myself especially right now am I ready to die? For who I am, for what I believe in, for the community I belong to? I never have had the option to hide. I never will. Queerness is so integral to who I am, all that I am, queerness is the frame of reference I use to see and understand Everything.

And to answer that question, no, I can't die yet I can't have my deadname on my tombstone.

#i have like. so many thoughts i cannot express esp bc like. i can't think them LMFAOO it's messy #literally all i can do about it is just create w my hands. made some pins repainted a pair of earrings. still wanna paint more.#i think about fighting too. i'm not a fighter. but am i prepared to? if i have to? and i feel like i HAVE to #to choose safety is to choose silence and to choose silence is to choose death.#and to be 'eradicated from public life entirely' i feel like choosing 'safety' would fall under that.#i HAVE to live and i HAVE to be loud about it and i have to fight. i can't let this happen.#but. am i ready to die? i. honestly would not be shocked if someone brought a gun to pride.#like. i want to say i live in a fairly queer safe area. but really all it takes is just one person and intent to kill.#anyway sorry for the bummer post HAHAHA i'm scared and i'm angry and full of grief.#unsure of what to do about that! well! nothing to do but keep going! whatever that means.

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orcelito · 1 year

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I'll finally have some free time tomorrow so I'm hoping i can actually get started on the next chapter of ITNL. I have a solid plan & it'll probably be easy to write once I get started with it... but Before That, I gotta get the ball rolling, & that's always the hardest part 😭

Gonna try tho. If I don't get to wolfwood in the next 2 weeks I'm going to scream

#speculation nation #itnl shit #like yea yea i know some really awful fucking shit happened to me just a week ago #but do i gotta lose my writing ability as a side effect??? annoyingggg #unfortunately i am only human which means i am subjected to all the horrid messiness of having a spirit #ANYWAYS. if things go according to my plans then. hm. 2 more chapters for sand steamer. 1 for geo plant.#then 1 for Legato. and BOY that's gonna be a fun one. im looking forward to it immensely.#1 more for may city shit. and then prooobably by the end of the next one wolfwood will be here?#so. Potentially 6 more chapters. relatively short chapters as im keeping all of the itnl chapters #but it's so far AWAYYYYY nightow why did u have to have wolfwood come in so late. smh.#bleh. i'll get there tho. i will.#this is my curse for making a longfic. it'll be worth the buildup. i LOVE the buildup.#it's just so hard when ur the one writing it bc i wanna get there so bad but i gotta respect the process #hoping that As The Spirit Heals writing will be easier for me again. i was churning out like 4k chapters every 2 days b4 #i MISSS ITTTTT come on man let me tap into that power again. The Spirit Is Willing.#gonna try my best tomorrow and that is a promise.

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britneyshakespeare · 2 years

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It is all painfully coming together

#this is not to be alarming im simply referring to the drawing ive been busting my ass on since tuesday #which i worked considerably hard on yesterday... went for 7 straight hours really. and had to tear myself away from it to finally eat #and unhappily showered and went to bed for the night #i was making great progress relatively smoothly all day but when i left it i was at the point of spotting something i had to correct #so i was in quite a mood when i left it and feeling a lot of anguish picking it back up today #but i really am starting to get it more and more down how i think i ought to be. and the adderall will still be active in me for hours #here's to hoping i finish the damned thing today. it's due monday but i REALLY don't wanna even be doing the finishing touches tomorrow.#if im not spraying this thing w fixative to lock the charcoal in place by tonight im gonna be really unhappy #(it's due monday)#tales from diana #also my setup w two chairs (one for me to sit in and one to hold up my drawing board) is REALLY uncomfortable #when im drawing from life it's not so much a problem bc i hold it in my lap but this time i have a photo reference #and it's kinda just really messy to hold it on my lap w subtractive drawing anyway. i always end up erasing the corners w my sleeve.#i keep being locked in a leaning-forward manspreading position so i can get closer to my drawing to see it #it's like im ABOUT to sit up. but holding that position for hours at a time.#i wish i had a stool and eisele #is that the right spelling? it's what my phone suggested #it rhymes weasel and has no starting consonant. that thing that word.

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m00n-fl0w3r · 1 month

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. i am getting so desperate for physical contact that it’s bordering on like pathetic btw !!

#i like. n e e d them to be touching me right now!!#i dont even really care how!!#i want my brain to be going all messy and i want it to be their doing !!#i want them all over me actually #its like horrendous #i wanna be kissing them with their hands up my shirt #and. kinda also really want their hands to end up between my thighs!#also wouldn’t complain if their face went there either!#and also!! I want to be all over them too!!#i wanna be on top of them with my hand between their legs while we make out!#i want to like. taste the perfume on their neck and complain about it but keep leaving hickeys anyways!

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milo-is-rambling · 2 months

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Guy confusing nicotine withdrawls with a break thru in his art block has shaking hands and is pacing his bedroom saying shit like “no it’s like, I see it, I can feel it. It’s in me it needs to get out. I can feel it can’t you see it? Are you seeing it? Can’t you see? It’s beautiful.” to his pets

#also it’s gross wet outside and I don’t have much weed or tobacco and I don’t wanna drive in the weather so I’m like imprisoned a little in #my house just like petting my window imagining being outside while it’s finally not hot (bc it’s crazy windy and rainy)#anyways i have ants under my skin i need to scream and run and drive and sob maybe even tho i don’t have a feeling causing the sob there’s #just energy deep in my face that needs to come out #I probably do have feelings to cause the sob but I’m ignoring them and pushing ahead which is stupid but if I stop at all I will crumble and #destroy everything I have to keep pushing forward cause if I look backwards I will stay here forever #anyways. eating a half a bowl of cereal a piece of toast w peanut butter an apple and a granola bar for breakfast also three different sodas #living my best life w my ginger ale root beer and Mountain Dew bottles lined up next to my water #we stay winning!!! anyways. want to make art but idk what medium. needs to be messy. want . goop on my hands and wrists maybe up my elbows #want to be covered in paint or paper mache or clay or something idk

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0fps · 3 months

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idk if anyone plays reverse 1999 here but i might upload the "journey in the rain" album in a hot sec

#0.txt #i don't play it either but the character trailer for the bird man showed up on my feed #and the art style/music was gorgeous so i just started looking through their trailers and stuff #i don't think i'd actually play it since the gameplay itself isn't something im into but i'll appreciate from a distance #but anyways yeah it led me to their one officially released album and i LOVE symbiosis #need it on my blog. there's only 9 songs so figured id just upload the entire thing here #in general though idk what i wanna do about like. misc songs i want to upload #like here is fine for now but i can't organize it as well so it just feels kinda messy to me #i DID have a misc music blog for a hot sec but i didn't keep it around long since it felt super aimless at the time #i'm also tempted to turn starrailmp3 into a general gacha music or whatever blog but idk. hsr has a lot of music on its own #similarly i know i'll probably end up making yet another music blog for zzz bc hoyo-mix is already going nuts on that ost #so alternatively i could also make it a general hoyo-mix blog and also upload hi3 even though i don't play it at all #hmmm might do that actually #but for non-hoyo-mix songs. i feel like i might also want to upload some wuwa tracks if they end up releasing albums for it #but they probably won't release as much as hoyo-mix and i'd want to keep the aforementioned blog on theme #so idk where i'd put the other gacha game tunes #like do i make ANOTHER side blog lol i hate having so many tbh

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