#like yea yea i know some really awful fucking shit happened to me just a week ago

[orcelito]

I'll finally have some free time tomorrow so I'm hoping i can actually get started on the next chapter of ITNL. I have a solid plan & it'll probably be easy to write once I get started with it... but Before That, I gotta get the ball rolling, & that's always the hardest part 😭

Gonna try tho. If I don't get to wolfwood in the next 2 weeks I'm going to scream

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 26 ramble

the academic victim era continues. i like putting my lil personal bits at the beginning of these i think it humanizes me

ok. i have to pause mid intro song. i just hit my bowl of snap pea crisps and spilled them everywhere and i'm going to tweak

3 of them fell on the floor.. but they're kinda expensive so we don't get to have them very often.. is it worth it..

i ate them i don't care

this has become more about me than the episode i'm gonna unpause it now

we're so back

celia at work core!! she dgaf!!!

MEET HELEN. pls don't be a tory in this universe pls pls pls pls. i didn't fw human helen at all i am less excited than i was about basira but also basira was one of my all time favs forever

hiii aliceeee <333

magnusing is so me tbh if you think about it

so does alice's voice have a slight hint of that effect they use for chester and norris to anyone else or.. like she sounds computer-y and i don't know if it's just the microphone or something real

"take protection" "jesus christ!" "LIKE A BIG KNIFE OR SOMETHING" CRYING. see my mind didn't go there sam so what's up with that sam huh sam

the hell does celia have in her workbag wtf. queen what. it's the trauma "are you sure that thing is legal?" LMFAOOOOOO

ok i don't like you saying nauseas because i'm on TWO medications that make me nauseas and i just ate pls don't be gross

DAMN. i was gonna be like JARED? HOPWORTH? but it's jared 'smith.' gerard jared is kind of like michael

P.E. teachers creep me out but probably because the only one my high school has ever officially had got fired my freshman year for spanking girls in the locker room and they never actually replaced him they just had various sports coaches take over

yea this is freaking me out already i don't like it

oh that's so sad the dad fucking died poor kid omg

wtf was he possessed by the soul of cross country. what is the horror here. ohh running for his life ok thanks

oh so the horror isn't mr jared it's what happens to him i guess. sorry man i shouldn't have called you creepy

this is just how my friends describe morning cross country practice

yeah so i was right to quit cross country in 5th grade then!!! running IS the horror!!!!

NOT THE TAPE RECORDER WTFFFFF IS THIS ERROR. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ARCHIVIST.............................................................................................................................................................................................

AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT AT AT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

we were right guyss it's an archivist...

IT SAID ARCHIVIST ALICE YES LOCK IN QUEEN LOCK IN SHE'S SOOOOOOOO HEHEHE SHE'S SO SMART I'M IN LOVE WITH U

yes alice connect those dots!!! connect them babe!!!!! i'm scared though to be honest with you

SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE KNOWS DUMBASS. PLEASE LISTEN TO HER OR I'M WRITING ANOTHER HATE POST ABOUT YOU. oh thank you sam i don't hate you

HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED hey helen

has celia shut down. oh my god she sounds really scared. probably because helen tried to eat her in another universe.

CELIA'S SO SCARED HONEYYYYYYY. wait now she's bringing up the magnus institute LMAOO

bloody big basement lmao it's where they keep the bodies

at least 20 years? it burned down 20 years ago? who's reaching out after it burned what

HELEN'S LAUGH MADE ME JUMP LMFAOOOOO HELP

SAM MEETING JACK???? SAM MEETING JACK??????? THEY'RE SO CUTE WTF OMG ur baby's a tory HAHA

celia you are being watched honeyyy you are you need to connect some dots. alice style. obsessed with her.

calling her baby goblin after that baby episode that celia was mentioned by name in hello. hello.

ok sam let's go no longer being as selfish thanks sam.

awe that's adorable i actually think he's been really nice lately holy shit.

LMAOOO WHY DID WE GET AN AUDIBLE KISS ON EPISODE 26 I THOUGHT THEY DIDN'T LIKE THOSE

[ygodmyy20]

Opps this post got forgotten! But if I don't post it today when will I!?

Okay so, I've been thinking for awhile on the question: why do I like terumob and why did it take over my brain? What is it about it...what caught my interest. As someone who was very NOT into ships when i first got into mp100, why did I crashland into this one?

This post has been in progress for like....weeks now? Nearly a month? 3 months? Yea.

Okay so. Here we go. THOUGHTS! On terumob and why the fuck I like it. Below the cut.

Like I mentioned, when I first finished Mob Psycho 100 in June of this year I wasn't into any ship. I was actually REALLY NOT into ships. I really liked gen. I wanted to explore the characters and I loved the complex relationships between everyone but I didn't want it to be overshadowed by romance. I purposely steered clear of any and all ship art.

But then I started to see some TeruMob fanart and I was like "Aw man, they are so cute and squishy." And I started to like them....just a lil bit. ONLY A LITTLE BIT.

BUT then I read more Teru-centric fics, read Teru analysis' and then I was like. Oh shit, Teru is 100% so into Mob it's like....this kid has it bad. He has a major crush. And even on the rewatch I am like WOW yep, confirmed in my brain, Teru has it bad. The subtext of his pinning is JUST so there for me. I didn't even have to look hard for it. I suddenly was very in on the Teru-one-sidded part of the ship.

But here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of ships like that... feels too unrequited. Hard for me to really like it. I need to have some level of something from both sides. Just how I am.

So that still leaves the question.

When and how does Shiego liking Teru work? Is there any subtext for that or am I just making it all up because I want the ship to work for me?

(which also is fine ya'll, no judgement if you ship two characters that barely interact, thats the fun of fandom stuff!)

I mean, all things considered, Shigeo likes Tsubomi. Scratch that, he REALLY likes Tsubomi. Shiego loves very strongly, like all his emotions. And he definitely likes Teru, they are good friends, so I kept thinking: where and how does that cross into a crush to me, for these characters?

Teru cares a lot, he adores Shigeo—Shigeo is kind, he is powerful, he is everything Teru wants to be. But are there places where I see this same level of intensity from Shigeo?

Annnnnnnnd then I got to their fight in season 3.

Everything Shiego did to Teru was so pointed. So raw and angry. Like I said, I think Shigeo feels his feelings very strongly and, I don't know, just the fact that he PERSUED Teru to humiliate him EXACTLY in the same way again, tells me that their first meeting had an intense impact on him. We don't see a lot of his feelings on his meeting with Teru, besides the brief ??? in that episode. After meeting Teru, it's just...life goes on as normal for them. But deep down I don't think Shigeo ever really tackled his complex feelings about Teru and their first meeting.

So it all comes out, its all be stewing for AGES, and what comes out is mean. It's aggressive. It's almost sarcastic? It's what happens when we let things chew us up inside and comes out all twisted.

Teru evoked such a strong reaction from Shigeo, even if Shigeo didn't admit it or express it, that I can't help but think, after things have settled, after he has spent more time adjusting to his whole self...after they both take time to really examine themselves and grow....

....that Shigeo wouldn't develop stronger feelings for this boy who also turned his world upside down. Who made him feel such strong emotions, who changed his world too.

Teru was forever changed by meeting another esper his age.

I think Shiego was too.

And I think where I started to love them was after the finale, after Teru's acceptance of Shiego for who he was.

I don't want to pigeonhole any of the espers into only being able to date other espers. But I also....yes, Shiego is a normal kid, but he is also Shiego.

Teru is a person who understands the strength it takes to keep that power, who has seen Shiego at all sides. His best and his worst.

But gosh this scene....

OUGHGGH

JUST THROW ME IN A RIVER WHY DON"T YOU

Yeah this whole scene just.....just yea. OUGH.

But yeah I just feel like Teru's crush would only grow after that. He would see Shigeo as a person over an all powerful esper.

While I like to think Shigeo's would develop over time and them smack into him like a runaway freight train. Because Shigeo FEELS so strongly, for all his emotions. He feels sadness strongly, he feels love strongly, he feels anger strongly—he just feels everything SO strongly. That is why he is powerful, that is why he is who he is, that is why ??? became what it is.

Anyway. My thoughts have ended and that's all i got. Thanks for coming to my ted talk of rambling mess that has been in progress for months that I realized whelp with the anniversary of the end of S3 nearly here, mind as well post it.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. this is completely unrelated to anything but one of my loose power ideas for ashe so far is just. straight up telekinesis (inorganic/non alive matter) w/ an upper range limit that's like a couple times his body weight.... terrifying!! fits w/ the fucking. structurally unsound house collapsing around them & his mom trapped & crushed & everything happening around them!! maybe the longer he has it running/the more strain he's under, the more powerful he gets & the less he's like actively aware of what he's doing (like labyrinth) & the more it just runs on autopilot (bad bad fucked up and bad and dangerous) & the less he's cognizant the harder it is to come back down (<- related 2 breaker shit somehow. ur turn. handing u the half finished thing make it work please :( )... trickster state ant death spiral.... kind of is similar a little bit to his stuff in canon if u stretch it a lot.... anyway not married to this at all just throwing stuff at the wall <33

I ALSO HAVE TRICKSTER THOUGHTS. OKA.Y. FUCK. so. thinking abt him as his Own Person......... i love u trickster....... i just got to the part where he's hanging out with the lil girl in her treehouse. just some dude!! :]]] ..... so. sliding across the table to lean in towards u pulling out my ballpoint pen & sketching out diagrams on my cocktail napkin.

^i think.... the trickster could be something like this. he could get to have some crazy master shit going on where he can control & affect other capes like the chaos demons in canon. alec if he had a greater range of control & could permanently or semipermanently fuck with ur brain settings etc. u see where im going w this.... i think he should get to control ashe :] PUPPET SHIT NOT EVEN FUCKING INTENTIONAL BTW im just kind of crazy abt this also. like. dinah situation except he isn't drugged out of his mind (well. maybe. redundancies) he's just always in his loose nuke fugue state & kept in the trickster's control, he's very handy! he likes this one, he's so useful, he doesn't wanna give him up! :) i have no clue How the trickster would find him in this scenario btw. i just think it would fucking suck for everyone involved <3333 anyway.

ALSO FUCKING ILL OVER ALL UR ASHE/TRICKSTER STUFF BTW. haven't said it bc all of that is in the mile long draft i'm still working on but believe me i am like shaking and sobbing and on the floor puddle of blood abt it all ur so right ab everything forever. ANYWAY. thoughts??

ohhhhh telekinesis and losing control of his telekinesis as he gets worse is REALLY good. yea yea yea I like that a lot. u are handing this to me to make sense of okay okay lemme put my brain into gear thinking about Scenarios. under the cut time before I ramble about nhw like a madman for the billionth time. trickster state ant death spiral is a sentence that will be in my mind all day today i just know it. why do we keep doing horrible ant things to our little guys (it's ashes turn under the solar death ray now)

okay his shaker powers manifesting as telekinesis is perfect for the tragic irony part of the power thing (which. can you tell I fucking love that little detail? god that's so fucking good. your powers will help you. theoretically. but watch out!! that's so fucking delicious and awful). he triggered in a house that was about to collapse, his mom crushed by whatever it was that fell on her, of course hed want to save her and get her out! but the irony and futility comes in waves where. 1) he lifts up the bookshelf or whatever it is and that doesn't matter because she's already crushed. 2) he can't even help her with his powers because they can only affect inorganic material. he can't move her (he's only 8, he's so small) . 3) he is in a state of extreme distress and these first two realizations are making it worse and. where is he? what was he doing? Who is he? who's that person on the ground? UGHAHHVHV. HORRIFYING.

altered mental states and hypnotism and not being able to control your actions and being made to do something terrible and not being able to stop it is such a uniquely awful type of fear, and I think that kind of fear kind of compounds on itself to make it worse once he realizes its happening? I think he doesn't notice the fact that he's losing control at first. he's getting stressed and pushing himself harder and wow! his powers are actually responding to that, he's getting stronger! awesome! but stuff just gradually starts getting more... blurry. floaty. he becomes less responsive to the things around him. someone calls out to him and it takes him longer than it should to process that, he doesnt immediately recognize the words or whos saying them. and like you said kind of eventually shifts into autopilot. it's almost like he's fading out of consciousness but he's Awake the whole time. he's just not Aware . which, in a fight that's happening in a big open space like the whirlwind fight for example. that's not Too bad because there's less of a chance he'll accidentally hit someone he shouldn't be targeting. in closer quarters it gets really dangerous really fast, it's really easy to pinpoint exactly where and when he starts losing control.

side note rq im imagining the way this would work on a team, with the others kind of constantly keeping him in check, making sure he doesn't go too far with his powers? thinking about the way Failsafe's powers work, I think he's always sort of dimly aware of his teammates in the background and when ashe starts to lose control he either a) his pain level goes fucking haywire and sets of all the alarm bells in dakotas mind OR b) he drops off the radar completely. unresponsive, it's almost like he dies, he just gets totally cut off from the pain sense so dakota can immediately feel something is wrong, looks around in panic thinking hes gonna find ashe on the ground but hes still just standing there using his powers (i cant decide which of these is worse. smile). so dakota makes it his unofficial responsibility to be Ashe's lock check in a fight, esp with his mover powers, he's able to get to ashe fastest and easiest without being hit by any stray projectiles. bear with me bc im weak for these types of scenes (picturingggg that scene with vex and percy at the end of tlovm....) where dakota just puts his hands on either side of ashes face and just talks to him like "come back to me, don't get lost, don't let yourself fall" etc etc can anyone hear me it's so dark in here. and that sort of thing works for them for a long time because its a direct physical outside interference, ashe is able to kind of wake up from his fugue state and turn down his powers and bring himself back to awareness because dakota can usually get to him before he passes the point of no return. usually being the key word here.

operating with the breaker stuff being trickster mode still (I'll get 2 ur other idea about trickster after this but let me live in the moment for a second) I think THAT becomes the point of no return. once ashe gets to an emotional/mental state where he feels like he's in a situation too similar to his trigger, the breaker powers kick in and he becomes totally unable to control his actions (maybe with practice and training he could learn how to control his breaker stuff but hey he was actively extremely discouraged from even thinking about using his powers for a solid 10-ish years of his life, thanks mark :) ) . still imagining this is trickster mode, that's where he shifts forms and becomes less Ashe and more Trickster. ashe is still in there somewhere, maybe, but it gets REALLY REALLY difficult to break him out of that state until he feels like the threat is gone and there's no more danger. which. because he can't distinguish or recognize individual people when he's like this, having three other REALLY Powerful Capes around him does not minimize the feeling that he's in danger !!! the wards trying to break him out of trickster mode directly would probably just make things worse or put themselves in danger.

power mechanic wise I get this feeling that breaker powers because they overlap with the other classifications so much, that means breaker forms can manifest their own powers that could fall under other classifications? so in Trickster form his powers become less shaker and more master? (hey more similarities with wibby I'm sure wibby feels really normal about this). i don't think you've seen trickster in an actual fight yet so im a little hesitant to tell u this but considering you've seen the my friend mr giggles part you're close enough that i don't feel too bad about it- aside from the chaos demon master shit I REALLYYYY like the trickster being able to manipulate his environment (breaker powers) but being limited to like. carnival bullshit. games. the big throwing knife wheel. the floor is lava but Real. using a giant pinwheel as a weapon. as soon as Circus was introduced in worm i was like THIS IS SOME TRICKSTER SHIT !!!!!!. i don't know why ashes powers specifically would manifest like that (maybe because he triggered as a young kid and it's his brain tapping into the childlike tendencies of seeing everything as a game, turning the horrible scenarios into "something fun" as fucksd up as that is, idfk) so maybe this leans more into the trickster being a separate person but those are most of my thoughts on him for now :]

WHICH LEADS INTO YOUR THINF REALLY WELL, TRICKSTER BEING A DIFFERENT GUY. which. I do ljke this because it's actually. closer to the case in canon and would make sense for us to tie into the implications for season 3 (being. extremely vague here but we could do some TERRIBLE shit w trickster for season 3 if he's a separate guy. smile) THE ONLY THING. STOPPING ME FROM FULLY AGREEING W U ON THIS (u know I looooovd the pain of puppet imagery I am so down for this torture) IS THAT. I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS about how ashes breaker powers would manifest. or how/if/why trickster would be present for his mom's death (although I guess he doesn't necessarily have to be?) i think maybe the compromise here would be to give ashe the carnival shit breaker powers and have those just be His, while trickster can just be a separate s-class master who favors ashe specifically because he likes having control of those powers (because they're fun! "why him?" "i like this one. fits like a glove :)")

OKAY. FUCK. THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS TO TYPE UP AND IM AT WORK NOW ILL MAYBE ADD ONTO THIS LATER IF I TJINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT. HI GOODMORNIGN IM GONNA SPEND MY WHOLE SHIFT THINKING ABT THIS

[annimator]

dat hurt/comfort tho

(new TomJake episode dropped, my reaction’s under the cut as usual)

• LMAO THAT HUG BETWEEN JAKE AND ELLIE WAS SO AWKWARD, I LOVE IT

• wait wdym Tom got injured trying to intervene with smth job related I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING THROUGH SOME PTSD OR SMTH-

• “I’m sorry Jake, the good ones always seem to get hurt.” THAT SHIT HURTED ;-;

• HE WAS WORRIED FOR TOM GETTING HURT AS A COP OMGGGG

• Gabbs looked so sad ;-;

• Jake’s Dad fucking suck. mf rlly called him loving tom a “LiFEsTyle”

• “Holy shit, you’re despicable!” YEAH TELL OFF YOUR ASSHOLE OF A DAD JAKE

• NOT THE SCENE OF JAKE ALONE IN BED PARALLELING THE SHOT OF TOM ALONE IN EPISODE 1

• TOM FLASHBACK. HE LOOKS SO ADORABLE AS A KID

• WAIT HIS MOM CALLED HIM EAGLE EYE WASN’T THAT ALSO USED IN EPISODE 1

• why are shitty parents a staple in DC lmao

• bro that scene with Tom looking into a mirror and seeing his older self tho

• Tom calling out for his mom :((((((

• ofc Jake and Lucia memorized Tom’s favourite donuts

• “I did it for Tommy- uh- er Reed.” AW SHE CARES FOR HIM

• OUGH THE WAY JAKE’S HOLDING TOM

• Tom’s (and Jake’s by the looks of it) love language being physical touch despite all the physical trauma he’s had over the years FUCKS ME UP

• HE CALLED TOM “LOVE” OMGGGG

• SO MUCH TOMJAKE HURT/COMFORT. THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER SM I LOVE IT

• Damn that PTSD scene was actually pretty good. Jayce’s voice acting is great as always

• JAKE’S SO WORRIED FOR HIM ;-;

• “A lovely mother, but father was less than ideal.” So he’s like Moxxie from Helluva Boss- *I AM DRAGGED OFF THE STAGE*

• HAND HOLDINGGGG

• Awwww he called him “babe”

• “Jake, I’m just really scared. What if something were to happen, and I couldn’t protect you?” “Don’t talk like that, the most safe I feel is with you.” omg the communication between these two improved so well off screen

• that hug between Tom and is mother nearly made me cry ngl

• “He’s even cuter in person!” “I know right!” AWWWWWW

• Miriam ate this episode fr

• HELP JAKE SAID SMTH AND THEN IT CUTS TO TOM SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING.

• TOM JUST WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE, AND WANTED TO PROTECT HIS LOVED ONES BY TAKING THE HEAT THROUGH HIS WORK AS A SPY AND AS A COP

• Tom’s mom is based as hell I love her. Glad she’s accepting of Jake :D

• “He’s a dream boat, good pick!” “MOMMMMMMM” LMAOOOO

• “You’ll always be my hero.” “Thanks Mom” I don’t fell like retyping the whole convo they had in that scene, but OMGGGG

• “She mentioned that she was my honorary new mom.” aww that’s nice :D

• “She said she’d try to pop in for Miriam’s birthday!” “Aw, great!” “I can’t wait to see everyone!” YEAH SO AM I. IF JAMES AND AIDEN DON’T MAKE A CAMEO NEXT EPISODE I’LL BE VERY FUCKING DISSAPOINTED

• “The way you aren’t afraid to jump in help in any situation made me realize i don’t have to rely on others.” FUCK YEAH JAKE, AND GOOD FOR YOU TO DECIDING NOT TO BE ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH YOUR DAD >:D

• “That took a lot of bravery, I’m proud of you Jake.” AWWWWWWWWW

• Tom’s terrible at keeping secrets lmao

• NO WAY IT’S SHAWN- wait that’s Alec’s VA lmao

• so yea, great episode, another 10/10, but I CLEARLY REMEMBER JARED (Disventure Camp’s creator btw) SAYING HE’D MAKE A CAMEO, SO WHERE THE FUCK IS AIDEN-

[carebeartherese]

My live reactions to Loki season two ep 5:

-WOOOO HERE WE GO

-running through the recap

-Im actually scared for this episode srsly

-oooo the almost silent intro

-ALIVE???

-he is angelic fr

-where is everyone???

-did they go back to their timelines??

-Im loving these continued camera shots

-pie room??

-TIME SLIPPING

-oh shit

-:0 double Loki

-hello?

-time slipping is just an excuse for Loki to flip his hair like the hoe he is /pos

-time loop???

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WHY IS EVERYTHING COMING APART

-SHIT

-oop there’s the theme

-prison??

-CASEY?????

-WHAT THE HELL

-oh hes escapin

-where are they i wonder

-a boat prison??

-no not again dude Loki can’t handle this

-ALCATRAZ????

-his name ain’t Frank lmfao

-oh it’s the BOAT PLACE

-dude why are we back in the tva

-:0 SHIT NEW YORK 2012

-Aw b15 is such a great doctor I love her

-MOBIUS WHAT ARE YIU DOING

-living his dream

-who tf is don

-also his son??? No thank you

-LOKI GO SEE YOUR MAN

-this is so unserious

-LOKI IS SO CUTE ABOUT MOBIUS

-Mobius is adorable

-SINGLE DAD???

-FUCK YEA

-ooo 1994

-OB!!!!

-hes so silly

-awww he just wants to sell his books

-hes a writer <333

-in his bunker???

-ITS JUST LIKE HIS LAB

-dude ob will believe anything that happens to him

-the sons of who??

-ob is so adorable with his little “hey”

-dammit

-none of that made sense OB

-cannot control the time slipping

-oooo true

-LOKI = TEMPAD

-to save his friends

-oh yea shit kang is coming aint he

-control it Loki!!!!

-nope

-you look like you’re trying to take a shit

-there is no controlling time

-OB WE DONT SHOCK PEOPLE

-OR WHATEVER THAT WAS

-stop psychoanalizing

-go to the pie room

-GET THE BAND BACK TOGETHER

-oh that’s actually kind of smart

-ob is adorable and I love him and his tism

-oh fuck there he goes

-TO MOBIUS AGAIN!!

-he sucks at taking the trash out

-yea Kevin

-these kids are literally adorable

-don’t burn down the house pls

-“HELLO”

-these guys are so awkward

-just kiss srsly

-WAIT THEY ARE SO CUTE

-HES SUCH A SALESMAN

-wife long gone????

-cause of the gay

-is he flirting??

-are jet skis flirting????

-mobius really thinks lokis crazy

-OB HI

-none of this makes sense

-awww the way he grabbed Mobius

-dude theyre so gay

-they need to just kiss already fr

-yea your kids will be fine mobius I swear

-hes just a suburb dad

-this is a little heartbreaking but also gay tbh

-IKR IT IS A COOL NAME

-B15!!!! Come with!!!!

-CASEY FUCK YEA

-ESCAPE

-where’s sylvie?

-mobius looks shook

-and Casey trusts no one the little thief

-mobius/don is he flirting with Casey/Frank

-I love sylvie but she always gets angry and fucks shit up

-please leave her out of this one

-WAIT WHAT

-HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOU

-wait till it back

-fuck get that time slipping under control

-sylvie with her lesbian fit and her mullet

-ok but Loki loves mobius and doesn’t wanna loose him

-uncaring queen

-I mean she wants to live

-damnnnnn

-WAIT CALL HIM OUT

-WHAT DOES HE WANT

-FALSE

-HE WANTS MOBIUS SRSLY

-oh come on Marvel be more specific

-of course he doesn’t wanna be alone

-don’t make this romantic again pls

-NO WE ARENT

-his story is with mobius tho!!!

-Casey is such a weird ass hardened criminal

-mobius stop trying to sell shit to people

-Loki you are so babygirl

-NO WHAT ABOUT THE GANG

-I don’t understand anything anymore

-is sylvie flirting with record shop guy??????

-THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

-HOLY SHIT

-literally what is happening rn

-whos this guy in the back

-oh he disappeared????

-why’s shit disappearing????

-NOOOO

-THE TIMELINES DECAYING

-OH GOD NO!!!

-NOT HOT RECORD SHOP GUY

-and she’s gone

-so is the timeline

-Loki is so sad and lonely

-MOBIUS KISS HIM PLS

-HE NEEDS TLC

-NOT TRUE

-a timeline just died for some reason

-Loki was just waiting for this opportunity

-CASEY DAMMIT SRSLY

-OH FUCK NO

-WAIT EVERYONE COME BACK

-NO MOBIUS PLEASE

-OH GOD NOT PLEASE NOT KNTO THE DARK

-THIS VERY BAD DREAM

-oh shit Loki use them timeslipping powers

-GO BACK IN TIME

-YOU CAN DO THIS BBG

-ITS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS

-oh come on dont give me that fuckin cliffhanger

[sillykinfessions]

speaking of.. for some reason i'm on the villain wiki??? well not exactly me but like.. my monster/zombie self. i mean yea i did kill ppl but like?? dude i was a fuckin mindless killin machine created by BLU against my will. they created that stupid respawn machine and put me thru it. and u know what happens when u fail to respawn after bein subjected to the machine? u turn into those... things. u lose all control of ur own mind. of urself. so why are u labelin me as a villain for somethin i had no control over??? for the actions i took when i literally was nothin but a reanimated corpse??? i did not suffer at the hands of a greedy corporation who doesn't care at all for their workers just for u to say this to me. ur just as fuckin stupid as BLU. fuck off.

(srry if i'm unreasonably angry i really do not like BLU...or villain wiki.)

- ⚾️🧢 jeremy (emesis blue)

many websites are full of people who lack critical thinking. villains wiki is one of them. i’ve seen emesis blue and honestly while im from tf2 and not that specific media and so i cant really fully understand the amount of horrible shit you went through, that sounds pretty awful. i hope shit is feeling better for you now

[crab-funk]

Hello to my fellow The Kingmaker Histories™ fans. I was too absorbed in listening to liveblog, so here's an unorganised ramble about the assorted joys episode 22 (Fenetre L'Esprit) has brought me. Obviously it's all spoilers, so I'll toss em under the cut.

NUMERO UNO IS WOOO YEA BABYFACE JOHN APPEARANCE!!! YAYAYAY!!! JUMPING FOR JOY!!! Ohh I love his beautiful resonant voice so much...I hope he made it out of the bar fight okay. I'm sure he did. It's understandable that the gang did not take him with them, but woww, ruuude /j He was being so chill the whole time!

Speaking of beautiful voices, holy shit. I'm saying what everyone else is probably saying but like. S'always so fucking cool when a voice actor can do the 'character doing an impression of another character' type deal. Peacock and Renay do Ariadne as Colette and Colette as Ariadne (did I get the order right?? I can't read) respectively so perfectly. Utterly convincing and supremely funny.

Which leads me to how much I appreciate that Ariadne is just so godawful at pretending to be Colette that Eisen and Telesphore instantly recognise something is up!! Feel like I've seen so many iterations of body-swapping plots where the other characters are just idiots who can't tell their friend is obviously not quite themself. It was very gratifying to see that the boys acted in a realistic way. Terribly amusing that Colette is also awful at being Ariadne, but escapes detection due to the other's reputation for Killing People. God knows what would've happened if not for that!

Anyway, back to voice acting. Not only do we get Colette and Ariadne swapping places, we get Eisen and Telesphore as well! As a treat. Nazeer and Rubino also knock it outta the friggin park - Eisen and Telesphore sound so freakin cute as each other ohh my god. Cool that the sensory nightmare trading bodies with another species would present is acknowledged between em.

And then as a double treat, Telesphore n Ariadne swap. It's so interesting how their voices are different in more subtle ways than the others when they switch places. Which makes sense, they both lean toward sounding a bit posh in their own ways. Not gonna lie, Ariadne speaking through Tel was kind of hot. Hope I'm not speaking out of turn with that, but 'tis my honest opinion.

That concludes my thoughts, I think. Overall, I thought it was a really well-considered take on the whole body swappin trope - which is super refreshing. Sorry if I got anything wrong or used the wrong names. For some reason when I read over what I've written it all kind of blurs together into a big white-on-black smudge. Maybe cuz I've got a cold rn.

If you read my inarticulate yammering, thank you! I'm halfway thru ep 23 rn so I'll try n remember to talk abt it too! It's really good so far (I say this about every Kingmaker Histories episode and you can't fucking stop me >:D)

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

So I mentioned the examples of Thomas Becket and David Souter here before as times that men rose to their offices in shocking ways in opposition of evil.

I'm back for a bit more practical analysis that you may find some solace in after seeing the nominees for Cabinet and agency heads.

These people are morons. Not only are they morons but they are morons with no friends in DC. Now this is again a bit of a journey, but follow me on it fir a few minutes...

Donald Trump is lazy. He doesn't want to be President. He wants the benefits of being President, but he doesn't actually want to do the job -- it's why dictatorship appeals to him, because he wants to have to do nothing more than issue a command. Actually passing policy is fucking hard, grueling work.

Now, I do not deny his first term was awful -- but in terms of actual policy implemented, there was fairly little. There was a whole lot of talk which led to a horrifying culture of terror, a few really godawful policies that he could just wave a pen over, but actually look at how many new laws he championed that passed.

Bet you thought there were more, huh?

What Congress passed were bills that were congressional priorities like the tax bill -- that wasn't what Trump wanted, it was what congressional Republicans wanted -- or that everyone wanted like Covid stimulus.

Because it is very easy to get Congress (mostly the Senate) to SAY anything. They'll SAY they support his policies every hour on Fox News.

And then they will simply never bring a bill to a vote. All of the short term gains of being a vocal supporter with none of the long term ramifications ov having a yea vote on your record.

Seriously, it's a matter of public record, you can look it up and see that exact behavior -- no one writes or sponsors a bill on shit he wants (which the administration can't do, a Senator has to), if one is, then it never leaves committee through various means.

Just one big gaping example... remember his wall? The one that's barely been touched? Huh I wonder why. Oh wait no, I know why -- Congress didn't fund it. They never said a word, they just did nothing.

The cabinet is responsible for getting those bills written, finding sponsors, helping shepherd them through a vote.

And Trump has chosen an entire group of people who have no political capital, not a single friend in the Senate -- including JD Vance.

Yes they will probably march in lockstep with his orders that are upheld by SCOTUS (most of his executive orders were knocked down by the Court in his first term and I honestly find them a bit unpredictable since there are at least 3 loyal to no clear judicial framework or philosophy). But they will never be able to convince anyone in the Senate to do a thing (some may not even get confirmed -- Gaetz is not the only one that I think could face challenges).

And GOP Senators who paid attention -- which should have been most of them -- should have all realized they don't actually have to support Trump to stay on his good side. They just need to stay silent. Trump watches what is said on Fox, not what happens in Congress. If they make occasional comments of support on things they'll never need to vote on and just don't comment on most things, they'll stay in his good graces (and it's shockingly easy to just not comment because House members trip over themselves to comment on everything and give reporters all the soundbites they need, and while they often do back it up with votes, they have very very few powers exclusive to them, they need the Senate too and Senate Republicans aren't all that crazy about House Republicans either.)

So yes, listen to what they want to do because the people need to be heard opposing it. But take it with a grain of salt and watch what the Senate actually DOES.

Because Matt Gaetz will never get a bill through the Senate. RFK Jr will never get a bill through the Senate.

And Donald Trump is never going to put in the 18 hour days 7 days a week for months necessary to shepherd policy himself.

The President is not a king, no matter what they try to convince you of -- his wants are not automatically granted.

[edwinspaynes]

THE MERRY THIEVES & CO 🏳‍🌈🏴‍☠️🚩

Written as a gift for @emmalovesfitzloved.

CHAT TRANSCRIPT between wilde-wanderer, eldricheternalflames, thomas-the-tree, kit-li-the-science-guy, kickitwithcordy, grumpycatcarstairs, sciencebitchgrace, annaisgay, and sugared-tea-sweetheart. 23 June, 2023. GROUP CREATED by wilde-wanderer GROUP: THE MERRY THIEVES & CO 🏳‍🌈🏴‍☠️🚩

wilde-wanderer: FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN. LEND ME YOUR EARS, FOR I COME INTO OUR HALLOWED CHAT BEARING NEWS™ OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

grumpycatcarstairs: Jesus, Fairchild. There's no need for you to send messages in all caps. Don't you know that it sends Thomas into a needless tizzy whenever you do that?

thomas-the-tree: Why do you always assume that my alarmed expressions are Matthew's fault? I just got a 100 day Duolingo streak, and this apparently gets me some 3 days of free Super Duolingo (?) Though I don't know what that means.

grumpycatcarstairs: Maybe I know. You could have looked up to ask me. I am literally three (3) feet away from you right now.

thomas-the-tree: Do you know, joon?

grumpycatcarstairs: No.

kickitwithcordy: Oh, stop flirting, dadash. Now, Matthew, what was it you wanted to tell us?

annaisgay: If that's flirting, he's awful at it. #sorrynotsorry, @/grumpycatcarstairs.

grumpycatcarstairs: Lol shut up.

thomas-the-tree: He's making this face. 😒😒😒

wilde-wanderer: I give 0 fucks about Alastair's facial expressions, lol. Do you want to hear my news or not?

eldricheternalflames: Why don't you just tell us, Math?

wilde-wanderer: I got the lead in The Importance of Being Earnest! I am so excited. You all know how much I love that play!

kickitwithcordy: OMG Matthew, that's so so amazing! Come to dinner at Curzon Street tomorrow so that we can celebrate? James will buy us a Charlotte Russe cake. I know it's your fave 😋

wilde-wanderer: Can't say no to that. Though I'll also expect @/kit-li-the-science-guy to bring some lemon tarts.

kickitwithcordy: Was my offering not enough!? 😢

sugared-tea-sweetheart: Once can never have too much sugar.

wilde-wanderer: THANK YOU ARI! You are a blessing on this earth.

annaisgay: You are. And you're right, darling, you need to consume as much sugar as you can, so you can be sweet when I kiss you.

grumpycatcarstairs: God, I'm going to puke.

thomas-the-tree: You're stuffing your face with tahdig right now, don't lie to the class.

grumpycatcarstairs: And YOU'RE playing that awful Flappy Bird knockoff game instead of crushing it in Duolingo.

wilde-wanderer: VALID. Flappy Bird was the best thing ever. Fuckin hate that it got deleted like what in the name of Oscar Wilde was that

kit-li-the-science-guy: sry fam, just got the notification. grace and i were trying to see whether or not goblin blood served as a good retardant for flames that had a small spark of heavenly fire in them, but unfortunately. there were complications

sciencebitchgrade: basically he started a minor fire in our parlor. it happens.

wilde-wanderer: OMG YOU BLEW SHIT UP WITHOUT ME? My heart is breaking within my tender bosom. You do know how I so love to see the fruits of your labors.

thomas-the-tree: That's what she said! That's what she said!

grumpycatcarstairs: That's incorrect, but I support you anyway.

eldricheternalflames: I support you, too.

kickitwithcordy: Me three!

kit-li-the-science-guy: anyway lol

kit-li-the-science-guy: you want grace and i to make u lemon tarts

kit-li-the-science-guy: ???

wilde-wanderer: More you than Grace, really.

sciencebitchgrace: why would i ever want to be left out of the baking

kit-li-the-science-guy: why would i ever leave her out of the baking

eldricheternalflames: It's frightening how well-suited you are.

kit-li-the-science-guy: thank u :-)

kickitwithcordy: Anyway!!! To catch Kit and Grace up, we're having a massive blowout at my (and James's) flat tomorrow. There will be a Charlotte Russe cake, maybe some games

kit-li-the-science-guy: games? can we play bomberman? also yea grace and i will come w tarts

wilde-wanderer: I second Bomberman. Also Super Smash Bros. Please. And Pin the Junk on the Hunk

grumpycatcarstairs: No. Am I the only one here with sense? Well, me and Grace.

sciencebitchgrace: the answer to your question is a resounding yes.

sugared-tea-sweetheart: I'm also sensible.

annaisgay: Sure you are, dearest. That's why I caught you singing to Percival earlier.

wilde-wanderer: OH ANNA CAN YOU BRING PERCY TO THE PARTY

annaisgay: Transporting him to Marylebone from Percy Street (or to Curzon Street) would be nigh on impossible, so I'll say no. I'm willing to do a lot for you, Math, but not dragging a massive snake through the streets of London.

wilde-wanderer: Ugh, FINE. Waste my youth.

sugared-tea-sweetie: I'll work on her, don't you worry.

kickitwithcordy: What if I don't want a stuffed snake in my entryway?

eldricheternalflames: OUR entryway. And you really don't want to show Percy off as yours? Just for one night!?

kickitwithcordy: Every guest at the party is in the group chat. Besides, I suppose, Oscar, assuming that you're bringing him? 🐶🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

thomas-the-tree: Wow, Alastair is right. You do use a lot of emojis.

thomas-the-tree: Not that that's a bad thing! It's a good thing. You're emotional. Emoji-tional. I really like that about you. But also I just want to say that Alastair is correct and no one can really contradict him in the future.

wilde-wanderer: Is Alastair making you say that?

grumpycatcarstairs: I don't make him do anything. He supports me because he loves me

eldricheternalflames: That's true. Remember when we all hated Alastair? Thomas always stood up for him.

thomas-the-tree: stopstopstop

grumpycatcarstairs: You had a crush on me LOL so embarrassing

eldricheternalflames: It was, dude. He was SO sappy

wilde-wanderer: Oh aLaStAiR wItH yOuR bEaUtIfUL HaiR hOw i CaNnOt hELp bUt sTaRe ----

grumpycatcarstairs: Update: He's blushing

kickitwithcordy: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

eldricheternalflames: I love you SO much, Daisy. Snarky but sweet. Thank you for being just as you are. 😘

grumpycatcarstairs: Sappy meter: 10

kickitwithcordy: I love when you use emojis in solidarity with me.

annaisgay: I'd give them a 9. Remember when they went to prom back in high school?

wilde-wanderer: They went into an empty classroom and fucking WALTZED. Who the fuck does that? Romantics, that's who. James will go down in history as a Wife Guy when he and Cordelia finally tie the knot, and I'm the best man, and I toast him as a Wife Guy.

eldricheternalflames: You'll go down in history as the weird dude who gives bad toasts.

eldricheternalflames: 🤡😇😳😲😜

wilde-wanderer: No, I'll go down for being the World's Greatest Actor. Fam I'm ERNEST. I'm in an OSCAR WILDE PLAY. I am living the dream, communing with my idol, nurturing the hyperfixation!!!

wilde-wanderer: Speaking of my party, what time?

kit-li-the-science guy: were we talking about the party?

sciencebitchgrace: kinda

annaisgay: Yes

kickitwithcordy: He just said 7 PM. Since I'm extorting James into going to King's and purchasing the cake, I feel that going with his schedule would be a good sport.

thomas-the-tree: We'll see you there!

grumpycatcarstairs: We'll see you there.

thomas-the-tree: Jinx you owe me a kiss

wilde-wanderer: Sappy meter: 10/10. 🖕

CHAT TRANSCRIPT between kickitwithcordy and eldricheternalflames

kickitwithcordy: Sorry I'm texting from the bathroom. Doing my hair and other ladylike things. When are we going to tell them?

eldricheternalflames: That we tied the knot? I'm sure that they'll notice the ring. Unless you want to take it off for the night? I'd totally understand

kickitwithcordy: Never.

[northwest-cryptid]

It's that time of the year where I see every "I think all americans should DIE" and "I think WHITE people are BAD" bloggers go off about how they would fictionally kill Columbus meanwhile there is radio silence in terms of like... you know, actually supporting modern day living and breathing Natives who are desperately trying to actually really do something.

Listen I get anons all the time telling me this shit doesn't matter, I couldn't care less about that because I have so much lived experience with racism. But this is why I need people to get off my dick about when I say I dislike bloggers who rage bait (in the sense of feeding off your rage and hatred of a people or person) and hate for notes and attention but offer no alternatives. It's all performative and it's quite frankly, really annoying.

I don't care if they're popular, I don't care if they're a minority or something. That doesn't instantly make their argument any inherently better. They could be a great person sure but if they would rather just post another shit on Columbus post and not even talk about the fact Native people are literally still alive and still trying to figure out how to navigate a system that has divided it's own people under the laws of the oppressor; I don't know man I just can't find it in me to care about their "I think Americans are um... bad!?" take. Like yea no shit our people are being murdered, kidnapped, raped, our land continues to be taken from us, our people hate our own fucking people because of blood quantum; a stupid measure of someone's ethnicity based on a system the damn oppressor forced on us. You don't need to spread the most lukewarm take of the century just because you know it's a safe bet to rake in some notes.

Like no seriously I don't know of any other (and if there is another A. I would genuinely like to know, and B. I'm so sorry they're also going through this) minority who needs a legal identification from their genocidal oppressor that says they can legally be that minority. Do you know how shit it feels to have my own people enact racism against me because I'm not "native enough" according to the US Government? I grew up following our culture, living by our teachings; even after being told I could no longer attend powwows, even after my father was shunned for being a "breed" and by proxy I didn't get the "privilege" of growing up on a res or learning our Native language outside of whatever scraps of knowledge I could gather. None of that got to me because I couldn't let it, I couldn't let the hatred and fear that was imposed upon my people by our oppressor become what I knew of my people.

When the the tribe I was growing up in wouldn't accept me I found friends who were from other tribes; some elders some young, an old man at a store I worked at taught me Cherokee; an elderly woman who worked in the garden section of a nearby Home Depot taught me a bit of Lakota she knew. My great grandfather took my father in and taught him to understand that you are just as Native as any full blood. Yet when my father found a local tribe near us and had me attending powwows since I was young, learning to play the drums; living in the culture; do you know what happened? When I was only about 6 years old the tribe I grew up with wouldn't let us attend powwows because my blood wasn't pure enough, because I didn't have some US government official legal ID certification that says "yea the oppressor says I'm legally Native!"

I struggled to learn Lakota alongside English and my father gave up teaching me because I needed English to get through school. I eventually found a small group of other Lakota individuals looking to learn and they helped me to learn what little I know. People think we're all dead, that we've been genocided; it's awful.

And hell don't even get me started on how much I hate the term "Native American" look, if you're from Sweden what are you? You're Swiss right? You're not a Native Swedish or some shit. If you're from England what are you? You're fucking English. So what do we get? Oh we're Native Americans because what? We were the Native people here? Native just means a person born of a place. If you were born in America you're a fucking "Native American" congratulations. There are plants and animals Native to America. Indigenous literally means the same shit by the way. This all goes to say that every time a piece of media says "Native Americans believed" it's A. always in past tense like we're not alive anymore, and B. you're just gonna generalize the hundreds if not thousands of tribes? We all must believe and think the same things? Seriously? Fuck off. This is why I don't say I'm Native American anymore, I tell people I'm Lakota. You know what kills me? How many times do you think that comment has been met by the response "what's that?" or "where's that from?" I've even gotten "I thought your name was [name]?"

Here's the thing I want you to take away from all of this, if you've read this far. You can make as many posts as you want hating on a man long dead; or you can stop giving the perpetrators a scapegoat; you can focus on the people responsible for the crimes against our people happening to this very day. You could raise awareness for my people, you could spread positivity for the people affected by the genocide. Raise their voices, let them be known; let them be heard.

We all know Columbus was a piece of shit, that doesn't matter. Hating a dead guy isn't going to undo what he did.

[frostbite-the-bat]

the other dream i had was CRAZY. the first part is more normal and i remember it less. i'll tell that first. it was a mix of roblox and minecraft...? almost seemingly continued from the Aperture Laboratories Zoo dream i Very Well Wrote Down Earlier.

i lived in a tall minecraft house building, and for some reason i was severely unhappy with the people i was there with and things they said i just broke down. i also mentioned i feel unsafe because my house is built with normal mc blocks and doesn't go out a bit because 'it's not safe'...? my mom and some 2 friends from the dream came in and changed 4 blocks of the base pillars that held it up. shit looked like this

then it continued tot he FUN PART OF THE DREAM.

i was in a call with fox, and we talked about sharks. we mentioned how only 5 species of shark out of 37 (?) live in freshwater. fox jokes how that's only "here". the geography of the earth was different in this dream and it shows more later. supposedly there was only??? one major freshwater lake area? rest is oceans?

i am then looking at the map and zooming in - when suddenly i'm not looking at google maps and instead i am physically there, flying. i had getting away from where i am currently on mind. i look at this one area, which i learned was supposedly ireland.

it looked like this on the map

as i go in i'm surprised like how "small" it is...? and then i see THE MOUNTAIN CLIFF THING it's like completely green and it goes perfectly up straight like a fucked up minecraft generation, except more realistic / NOT BLOCKS. i fly around it as i observe it - continuing towards east.

i decided to draw how that looked like:

so i fly by this area until i am flying by a bridge. i fly out again??? and i am flying towards it as if i was zooming in again. i slide on the water under the bridge as things get "smaller" and more Real Life Sized...? like it adjusted and realized the map was too fucking small for a big country?? i saw the BRIDGE on the WORLD MAP

and as i go in i'm there with..? two friends? but i can't ever really see them. i just feel them. we go by the water inside and there's a city. there's a road right by the water and we float up and like.. even out? then we're on the road. and we worry a bit they'll find out we're here illegally right away because we don't have irish accents?? :sob:

NOT even the wild part yet.

we then notice a boat. IT'S THE COPS. they're SPEEDING TOWARDS US. we go FUCK FUCK FUCK JUST GO GO GO GO IT'S THE COPS THEY GOT US!!! but they catch up with us and we slow down. we talk over some fence by the water and the road.

i forgot what exactly the cops asked us, but i lied and was nervous. i just like stared and spacd out for a while then went "UHM. SORRY I JUST. spaced. out yea haha uhm yea. i uhm. ah.. haha. yea i dont know about That hahaha . "

we then tell them the truth and... they're nice? the like "lead" one reminded me of someone irl i can't put my finger on it but she suddenly like turned really nice. they both were the whole time which made me UNEASY THE WHOLE TIME. they say they want to take us somewhere and show us a thing. they weren't gonna arrest us

they take us to a museum - and then into an office room. instantly there's some rarities there. i like slide inside and stop just barely in front of The Scream (painting, ofc) that was just on The Floor?? i'm like FUCK BETTER NOT TOUCH ANYTHING OR WE ARE IN TROUBLE. and me and my friends look around in awe like.

woah, this is crazy!! all these famous paintings! and we look around at stuff. they sit by the office desk and there's a door next to it. we go there and i forgot what happens but they like...?

explain some fandom shit? and basically we start seeing like visions but it was a youtube video? the cops contort into cult of the lamb black and red type beasts. i genuinely forgot this part but like the more fandoms or medias we knew and liked the more fucked we were? if i didn't draw that drawing i mightve remembered better.

and i lie and i am like. UHMMM. HAHA NO...! and my friends and i run. one gets like...? fucked over right away and the other one hides behind a knocked over desk in the other room. i hide to a different knocked over table near them and. do a thing i won't explain here for some odd fucking reason (nsfw) (holds head in hands painfully) (the cops like controlled me??) and as the like? cop contorted creatures approach this sound played, i couldn't see them i felt the presence and then i WAKE UP!

and i'm like

the FUCK???????????? and i'm surprised i wasn't as scared but honestly i was more CONFUSED than anything.

anyways trip into notireland gets me meeting with demonic cops ??? i guess

[whoa-its-dani]

Some quick life-updates from yours truly:

Realized I was, in fact, nonbinary. Being honest with myself and being away from the internet really helped me figure that one out. I'm still largely in the closet, but I'm planning on where I go from here. I know I'm going to get top surgery or at least a reduction eventually, but that's a Future Leigh thing.

I developed a shellfish allergy which is a thing that can happen. Your body can just... decide it's allergic to shit. I know it's an immune system overreaction but wtf wtf wtf we've eaten shrimp and clams and crab our whole life wtf wtf wtf There's the slight possibility it was a spice or the ramen I was eating them with but like. It's more than likely the fucking shellfish.

I'm currently outside of the US right now and FAR away from home. I'm not immigrating, I'm just helping a friend with some housework and also getting my first vacay in like a decade. Also I dealt with quite a bit of ableism and assumed misogyny (bc still in closet) with immigration to the point they had to bring two different women officers to deal with my sitch. Like I don't wanna spread the stereotype of men being insensitive and women being "more compassionate" or w/e but yikes. I'm struggling so hard right now not to let that asshole taint all men. I'm beating that sexism back with a fucking bat.

My cynophobia is in severe decline, at least with smaller and some medium sized dogs! Anything bigger than like a corgi still triggers me (shaking, crying, panicking, etc.) but smaller dogs are so fucking cute and fun and snuggly!!! I love when they curl up in your lap and when they roll over for tummy rubs!!! I really miss my mom's dogs right now 😭 but I have a cat here so it's kind of ok

Had some True Crime shit happen to my family. My aunt (who's always been in poor health) passed away in her sleep. Her husband had her cremated asap, threw out all of her stuff, repainted the room she slept in, and then waited a week to tell the rest of the family... by text. Originally it looked like she had died in her sleep while he was at work, but then he admitted to his daughter (who then told the fam) that he had been home all day, that he lied to police about being at work, and that he was glad she was dead. So it's looking more and more like he killed her, or at least let her die. Like... he's always been an asshole. It's totally believable he killed her, but I hope (for everyone's sake) that he didn't and he's just being a selfish jackass who doesn't understand how sus he sounds.

My mental health has been the best it's been in years. I still have bad days (esp right now bc of the shit that happened with the border officer) but I'm kind of in awe that I'm like. Alive? Like I'm entering my late twenties. My first suicide attempt was when I was 11. I never imagined I would make it past 21. Bitch I'm still here!!! Life is not my problem, I am LIFE'S problem!

I learned how to make stroganoff and became mildly addicted to it for like a month.

Lived to see cicadas in the summer! Saw SO many!!! I think about them when winter makes me sad. They're my light at the end of the tunnel.

I ALSO SAW A BABY (ok more like a young) POSSUM!!! My dad discovered him in a box of apples we had outside. He was havin a FEAST lemme tell you. Boy went through like four apples that were about half his body size. Hell yeah.

I've currently been trying to exercise and strength train because I tried to climb a tree to get a cicada shell and yeah. I didn't even make it off the ground. Spaghetti ass arms. Right now I'm too sore from the travel (& stress & panic attack due to border issue) to see if my strength has improved, but I can definitely tell there are muscles in my arms and not just mush. Human bodies are so fucking weird and cool and shit.

I still remain uneducated and unemployed, but I actually checked out the GED study guide from the library earlier last year. I had a panic attack and ended up returning it, but... it's progress! A few years ago, I would've just passed it by. I actually opened it and looked in it and shit! Give me some more time and I'll actually be able to USE it and then get my GED and then bitche!!!! :D I've also decided I'm going to try to become a mortician. I doubt I have the patience to become a medical examiner, but I'd still like to work with the dead (not in a creepy way, I'm just better with dead folks) AND I got some family in the business back home (here's hoping I can use nepotism to my advantage teehee) so it's a good idea. I'm not saying it'll work out, but it's a plan.

I beat Pokemon Diamond again, and Skyrim. I made like four new characters but only ended up completing one (and they became a sneak archer because of course.)

I've done a little more sewing! I'm still kinda sucky at it and my brain can not figure out how the hell a back stitch works but I'm having a lot of fun!

Ok that's all I can think of right now but yeah. I'm surprised I haven't completely lost my mind yet but hey. There's still time 😌

I'll hopefully be more active on here in the upcoming days (bc I've missed my sweet little garbage trash site and all my gay little mutuals), but right now I'm just trying to exist in as little pain as I can. Very fatigued but also incredibly sore (shoulders, back, and legs).

I'm so grateful to all the kind messages and asks you guys have sent me while I was gone, and I hope your lives have been going well. Things are tough right now for everyone, and I hope you find the strength and support you need to go on. Fucking love you guys.

[songmingisthighs]

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion on this whole controversy with Ateez. We have very similar opinions on the matter. I am not Desi so I feel it is not right of me to comment on the situation in itself as I am not apart of the affected group. I do however feel it’s acceptable to comment on the downright disgusting treatment so called ‘atinys’ are showing our boys. As much as we all see Ateez as the idols they are it is so important to remember that they are still people too. And people make mistakes everyday, and because of that people are able to grow everyday. I’m somewhat new to the world of K-pop and I haven’t explored much outside of Ateez, but even so I can see that they seem to be one of the ‘better’ groups for lack of a better word. These boys have an incredibly diverse group of fans, with people of all sexuality’s, races, ages etc etc, and they are always very welcoming towards fans. We’ve done the job of making KQ aware of the situation and KQ have taken the necessary actions to handle said situation. If Desi fans say that it’s not enough, or say that they expect personal apologies from the included members, then they have every right to say this. It is not up to non Desi Atiny to comment on what is and isn’t good enough, especially when people are using it to come from a place of hate. These boys are so goddamn precious, they made a mistake, these things happen, they actively want to be better and more inclusive people, having said before that they want to be more educated and want to be made aware of situations just like this one. They don’t deserve the awful treatment they’re getting, and it’s honestly making me incredibly sad and angry that people feel they have the right to treat them this way just because they’re in the public eye. There’s a lot more that I want to say but I’m struggling to find the right words to express what I’m thinking, especially when I’m feeling how I’m feeling. But again, thank you so much for sharing your opinion on the matter, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my thinking.

🫶🏼

oh god yea frfr i'm not desi too so i'm not even talking about the desitinys being upset but it's more towards the people who took things like 100 steps too far and being such hypocrites IQBSJSJS so i'm glad some of us see eye to eye to eye to eye

i do hope this doesn't traumatize you tho bc frfr most of tumblrtinys are cool people and i'm excluding myself bc i'm just a pure bitch. it's so different like i was on twt when i saw the whole thing unfold and one thing i noticed was that rn a lot of twtinys are being "apologetic" bc now san is receiving death wishes ON HIS DAMN BIRTHDAY IN THE MIDDLE OF TOUR SEASON like fucking point me to a direction i have a guard dog who can do my dirty work (he's a shih tzu and the best he can do is fart into people's faces or best case scenario, mouths)

and really based off of the asks on my blog and the non popular tweets during the whole shenanadoodles, i can sense that a lot of us are actually mature enough to assess this situation so HOW THE FUCK DID SHIT BECOME THIS MESSY ????? my dude i can't even express how bad i feel for san and not just because his damn hair dye seeped into his white jacket on the concert yesterday but like he truly don't fucking deserve this, he's one of the sweetes people with the straightest principle and morality like FUCKING USE YOUR HEAD

but anytime booboo, my ask box is always open for random ass shit i can't even categorize anything anymore

[averysmolkirbo]

"Woahhh, am i in the afterlife?-"

"DUDE. WHAT THE HELL MAN. OUT OF ALLL THE MORTALS I COULDVE GIVEN A GIFT TO, I CHOOSE THE ONE GUY WHO NEVER FIGURES IT OUT???"

"Wha- are you like god or something? wait, I HAD A POWER??"

"YEA. I GAVE YOU THE POWER TO FREEZE TIME AT WILL AND YOU NEVER DID IT??? Waste of a perfectly good gift!!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. I WAS NEVER TOLD ABOUT THIS?"

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE DAMN BALONEY SANDWICH."

"wha- what does a baloney sandwich have to do with this???"

"I WATCHED YOU FOR LIKE A MONTH. AND YOU ATE A BALONEY SANDWICH FOR LIKE EVERY MEAL. YOU JUST STOPPED ONE DAY AND NEVER DID IT AGAIN. WHAT THE HELL, MAN. YOU HAD LIKE 50 FUCKNGI YEARS TO EAT ONE FUCKIGN SANDWICH AND YOU COUDLNT DO THAT?"

"Wait. Is this about that time i was like, 20??? I swore off of baloney sandwiches forever after i found my girlfriend cheating on me. That was her favorite. i only had it cuz i was with her."

(mortal, under his breath)

"....That bitch really took my virginity and my godly powers??? DAMN IT!"

"AW OF FUCKING COURSE I CHOOSE THE ONE THING YOU NEVER ATE AGAIN. SHIT. "

"ok so i still dont see why i had to eat a baloney sandwich to use the power. why couldnt i just *use* it. why is this MY fault. YOU shouldve just made it easier to use."

"Wow, i give you powers and this is the fucking thanks i get? See if i ever help you again..."

"Ok so like the thing is im not actually powerful enough to give you a gift that powerful no strings attached. I had to choose an activation condition for it to work."

"And you chose BALONEY SANDWICH? not something like BREATHING?"

"I didn't want to make it obvious!! I wanted to have FUN with it but clearly you were too DENSE for it. Baloney sandwich was the most consistent non-obvious thing you did!! how was i supposed to know you were gonna stop the NEXT DAY?"

"Ok. So while this obviously sucks for both of us, can i use it now? In my afterlife?"

"If you can make a baloney sandwich. I dont see why not."

"Ok. Cool. Is there like a godly pantry i can get the ingredients from, or...."

"Yes, actually, down the hall, to the left, 2 doors down."

"Sweet."

"Oh yea i forgot to mention we only have whole wheat bread"

" >:( aw man. I hate whole wheat. It tastes like shit. What else, you're out of baloney?"

"No......"

"why'd you say it like that"

--------

"Ok i found your stupid bread. but where's the baloney. You said you had some."

"We do, but-"

"ok so where is it."

"-but we keep it in the underworld."

"Why??? What do you guys have against baloney??? Why is only IT condemned to the underworld???"

"No reason! I swear! the guy who runs the place just REALLY likes it and none of us really do, so we just let him keep it down there"

"Yknow since he's like. Already stuck working in the basement. we thought we'd give him SOMETHING."

*one very long and perilous journey for baloney later*

"ok YOU COULDVE AT LEAST TOLD ME HOW HARD THAT WAS GONNA BE."

"I told you, man. He REALLY likes baloney."

"Whatever. i ate your stupid sandwich. how do i activate it."

"Try clapping."

*nothing happens*

"What. Why didnt it work. I ate your stupid baloney sandwich."

"Did you remember to add the mayo?"

"MOTHERFUCKER-"

You're a god who has decided to give a mortal a gift. You decided to surprise them by not telling them about their new power. After a full life of normalcy, you greet them in the afterlife confused and angry as to how they didn't discover their power.

[leshitshow]

Not a good person but it is what it is

I'm not a good person. Not a bad person but also just not a good one.

Talked to my therapist today and told her about how my uncle put my grandma in a dirty and poorly run assisted living home. He then sold her home out from under her and left her to die. She died of neglect induced pneumonia at the home within six months of his actions. For this, I told my therapist I am going to find a way to ruin his marriage. I do feel this to be justified. But, yea. While my uncle sucks, I am not really any better for coming for him.

It takes a lot to get me that mad, though. My uncle fucking deserves every ounce of hate and misery I can bring to him. External to him making his adoring mom's final months awful while he and his wife mocked her, in his younger years he inflicted racist violence against people of color. His brother told me a few awful stories. American X level bullshit. I'm looking at it this way - I am going to go one step further than punching a nazi. I am going to destroy his marriage and, with a little luck, his retirement funds. So, yea. I am not a good person.

I have a fuck around find out policy. BUT - you have to be a real piece of shit to end up on my list. You have to beat women and children and be in my direct line of sight. That's now, though. In my younger years it was basically, don't fuck with my family. And it still is, to an extent. I don't like my mother as much as I did in my younger years because I realize all the abuse I lived with was through her. And my lil' bro is a hot mess. If he gets into trouble I'd have to think real hard before getting involved today. But in my previous younger years, when someone fucked with mom or bro - that was it.

One example, a drug selling friend of my mothers robbed her. That pissed me off. I told every one of the drug dealer's neighbors that they were, in fact, drug dealers. And they lost their home and got divorced. I facilitated that.

Today, I don't feel great about it because I now know what a piece of shit my mom is. I did that two decades ago when I believed in my mother. We obviously never know the full story to anything, really ever - but knowing that means less to you when you're early in your 20s/late teens. I also don't regret what I did because the woman was a real piece of shit, too. But if I had known how much I know now about what a real piece of shit my own mother is I think I would've ignored the whole issue, and realized that's what you get when you are messing with drug users/dealers. Anyway.

There was another time I made a house of bullies vanish. I was in my teens and they were fucking with my little brother and mom, constantly. Keying mom's car and chasing him around and trying to beat him up when he was 8-years-old. At first I physically confronted and scared the shit out of his bullies. After that, they stayed the fuck outta my way and outta sight. But when they kept keying our cars at night - I decided I'd had enough and told child services that the kid's parents were selling meth. I mean, they were - so no lie there. But, I came for them too and the whole house found a new set residents with a quickness.

So no. I am not wholesome. I can be ruthless. I have some rules. Don't fuck with my family. Don't harm innocents I personally know. And - if I do come for someone, they won't know what is happening or where its coming from. I don't play. But I also really extremely dislike activating the processing of my shitlist. It's not like I'm out here picking rando lives to ruin. Just the ones that cross me in messy ways.

I told my therapist there's literally two people left on this shit list. My uncle is one and then the man who abused my brother, mother, and I for 20-years is the other. I am coming for my uncle. And, I already warned my mom's ex and he knows to stay the fuck outta my and my family's way. I haven't touched him. I do know he pissed off some other family in the UK, though by also treating them the way he treated us. I know that woman is after him too. So I'm hoping he takes care of himself without my intervention. I hope that when I do actually hear about him again, it'll be something like he tried to abuse and rob someone else, or the UK fam came for him landing his unalive ass under a bridge. But at this point I'm just glad to be free and clear of him.

But yea, I am not the best person I could be. But, I also recognize that I can't be a good person. I came from violence. The fact I am not violent and drug dealing for a living is better than where I came from. I do have baggage though and some of that baggage is tied to some egg shells that I realize I have no choice but to break as I continue my stupid journey through life.

It is what it is.