#i do it sometimes bc i have to but it makes me so sad every time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachhcs · 2 days ago

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Could you do a social media post of Will and Samy from the wonder years, before they actually get together! Cause I feel like it would be so funny to see them be so oblivious and everyone in the comments would be so sick of them 😂😂

the wonder years archives → social media post

YES it would be the most hilarious thing EVER bc neither of them ever catch on but all of their friends do. i imagine this taking place sometime in their senior year of hs

(finding the old pics of will and everyone is so funny)

au masterlist

samyhughes gonna miss this place & these people

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lhughes_06 “this place” as if you aren’t going to school like 30 minutes away

| samyhughes can u let me live and be sad??

| lhughes_06 no

marcieevans11 STOP ur gonna make me miss it and it’s not even may yet

| samyhughes i’m already mourning the loss

marcieevens11 ugh i love u girl

| samyhughes I LOVE U why do u have to be going across the country on me 😭

lauren11 BABYYYTT ur all grown up now

| samyhughes BRING BACK MOES WEDNESDAY’S

hannahduke MICHIGANNNN UP NEXT!

| samyhughes YUPPPPPP

user1 omg little hughes is graduating hs already???

user2 awww she’s so old now

jackhughes skyline i’ll miss you

| samyhughes gurl u didn’t even go to skyline

_quinnhughes skyline 😵‍💫

| samyhughes u and jack CANNOT talk bc u did not go to skyline like luke and i did

| lhughes_06 YEAH exactly 😤

ryan.leno_4 😱😱😱

| samyhughes what does this mean??

gabeperreault44 tbh i am going to miss sitting in 30 degree weather watching u play soccer

| samyhughes just wait until college 😉

tyler___duke5 cool stuff samy

| samyhughes thanks tyler 🤝

drewf2 aw thanks for letting me live vicariously through you for 2 years

| samyhughes ofc always a pleasure drew

aram_minnetian nothing will ever top the high school ragers

| samyhughes TRUTH

user3 she’s soo adorable aw

user4 i forget she knows like half the hockey boy population

markestapa wolverines soon!

| samyhughes can’t wait!

edwards.73 UGH i’m old ur already a senior

| samyhughes ugh tell me about it

dylanduke25 hughes x duke 2.0

| samyhughes YUPPPPP me and hannah > u and luke

| lhughes_06 NOW i wouldn’t go that far..

_willvote freshhhh stuff sam

| samyhughes voteyyyyy thanks 🤭

jacob_fowler24 wait this is kind of an emo post

| samyhughes IKR???

zeevbuium28 #grad

| samyhughes 3 more months 😢

julianne_gelinas wish u were coming to the east coast with us 🥲

| samyhughes oh expect MANY visits

_willsmith2 damn no feature?? harsh

| samyhughes we don’t have any pics 😣

| _willsmith2 YES WE DO TF??

| samyhughes those can never see the light of day unfortunately

user5 the banter she has with will smith is sooo funny

| user6 i swear they should date i say this every time

| ryan.leno_4 @user6 u can say that again

| user6 LMAOOOOO omg??!!

rutgermcgroarty see ya in mich

| samyhughes can’t wait!

graceccsmith aww adorable sam!

| samyhughes CANT WAIT TO SEE U IN 5 WEEKS!!!

_willsmith2 last half 🥇

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gabeperreault44 so lean gets 2 features but i get 1??

| _willsmith2 forgive me gp

ryan.leno_4 ayeeeee love ya smitty 😍

| _willsmith2 love ya lean 😘

jacob_fowler24 last half best half

| _willsmith2 u can say that again

_willvote see ya in boston

| _willsmith2 next stop 💯

user1 aww omg these are so fun

user2 howwww does samy meet these hockey boys???

aram_minnetian good good stuff smitty

| _willsmith2 such good stuff

rutgermcgroarty fresh smitty

| _willsmith2 reunion soon??

zeevbuium28 damn no feature??

| _willsmith2 forgive me z 😔

hannahduke what an interesting combo of pics

| _willsmith2 and what does that mean??

marcieevans11 did samy choose these for you?

| _willsmith2 alright it was one time

| marcieevens11 right

graceccsmith can’t wait to see u back in beantown

| _willsmith omg ew i have to see u again

samyhughes why do u not look real in the 3rd pic??

| _willsmith2 what does that mean??

| samyhughes whoever edited those did u so dirty im sorry 😭

drewf2 take it or leave it

| _willsmith2 yupppp

hannahduke ok will

| _willsmith2 ok hannah

user3 i wish i was friends w them they all seem so funny

user4 to be a fly on the wall in their friend group 😭

lhughes_06 shoulda come to mich

| _willsmith2 i’m sorry 😢

jackhughes AYEEE good shit smitty

| _willsmith2 thinking about the days back on the rink together

julianne_gelinas samy is so right u look like ai in the 3rd pic

| samyhughes RIGHT???

| _willsmith2 alright i get it i look bad 😐

_quinnhughes they grow up so fast 😓

| _willsmith2 i wish i was 7 again tbh

tyler___duke5 good good 2 years with u big boy

| _willsmith2 back at ya duker good sharing the ice with u

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candyheartedchy · 18 hours ago

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I messed up a friendship I had with somebody here on tumblr [Not giving there @ out bc I don’t want them to get harassed] and I feel awful but I know it was my fault I drove them away how do you cope with emotions like these I miss my friend but I know it was me that drove them away.. do you use self-shipping to help with loss ?

Back when I was a kid, maybe around 6-7, I had a best friend who lived in the same neighborhood as me. We both even went to the same elementary and middle school together. But once we were teenagers, we both sorta grew apart and later when we met up again one last time as young adults, we didn’t really know how to interact with each other anymore. I still think about her every day since we didn’t leave on bad terms or anything. And then after moving to a different town I ended up isolating myself for a few years until 2020 and started this blog.

In a way I guess self shipping was a form of coping with being friendless during that time, along with other things.

The sad reality is that people will come and go, and sometimes we have to accept that change, no matter how painful it is. I would say try to reach out, but from my experience, because so much time had passed, it would just end up feeling awkward. But also I try to give folks space too, though I’m just naturally worried I’m bothering people in general whenever I message folks.

But if you and your friend mostly just stopped talking to each other and there wasn’t any fight or anything involved, you could reach out. Just take baby steps.

Again self shipping is a good outlet for many things, because I ended up making new friends through the self ship community and the fandoms I was self shipping in. I do hope you can rekindle your friendship again with the person. But also don’t try to force it either if it doesn’t happen. Be kind to yourself.

#💌 letters 💌#anonymous

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lunarharp · 2 years ago

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scribblezone again testing out brushes, early grey oru, and ace attorney-style psychelocks

#witch hat tag #orufrey #doodly. i like one of the brushes tho.#oh and i was thinking how the girls have qifrey's hat design but oru's (current) tassel and how that makes me feel #ppl will surely be thinking umm WHY do they have a different tassel to him unlike every other atelier ever. the whole tassel thing is just.#whatever. *keeps the rest to myself as i fall down a zelda-style chasm of emotion*#i JUST wanna know if tassel swapping is a cultural witch sign of commitment OR if it's something they just made up. JUST TELL ME. NAAOOOOWW #the girls are too young to hear about it because oru has the inbuilt belief that kids will mercilessly tease ppl #ok what is going on someone said the psychelocks art made them laugh and someone else said it made them smile #sometimes when i try to get out depressing ideas ppl are like hehe aww and then for those pink clothes i got surprisingly much sad response #it wasnt THAT sad........maybe. anyway genuinely interesting . this world is a mystery #i think its bc i mix humour & tragedy more than i ever imagined i would. i mean witch hat is like that so thats why im doing it. well anywa

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beneathsilverstars · 21 days ago

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whenever i follow someone new on here i feel like a 40 year old woman saying they're gonna be naughty and get dessert

#i'm not supposeD TO #unlike eating dessert. following too many people on tumblr IS bad for me #but.. there's so many other people whose posts i want to see :(#and i dont wanna UNFOLLOW any of my BELOVED OOMFIES to make room!!!!!#i do it sometimes bc i have to but it makes me so sad every time #i need to quit my job and become a deadbeat dad so i can spend 8 hours a day on tumblr #(the other 6 hours are for drawing and writing things for me to Post on tumblr)#like i'm a horribly depressed 19 year old kid again #silverstarschat #diets #dieting #for cw?#9 minutes later. i'm following another person since i'm being naughty ANYWAY #oughhg i should rly unfollow someone to make up for it though #wwwwouuuuwwuwjgkjiwugijfkdjhhfdkg :((((((((((((

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 5 months ago

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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man #i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault #ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever #but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's #depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way #i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but #i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being #suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways #but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to #act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand #idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that #getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh #besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks #ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru #til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking #but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort #the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done

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milo-is-rambling · 9 months ago

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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

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goldentigerfestival · 8 months ago

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I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).

My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.

Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".

The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.

#GTF Vesperia Clips #honestly JP Yuri talks abt punching ppl often enough that it's like... this should have been an easy tl #and like honestly wtf is with the dub having Yuri at Ioder's absolute THROAT every time they talk #I'm serious when I say dub Yuri genuinely pisses me off sometimes bc he's an asshole for NO reason #it's not cool. I'm not rooting for him. I'm rooting for someone to punch him in the face for being an ass #JP Yuri would love to do it honestly he's always up for punching ppl it's a recurring theme for /him/#I've never wanted to punch JP Yuri in the face. I've wanted to punch dub Yuri in the face multiple times #that's enough for me to recognize that the dub took more than just ''creative liberties'' with the loc #it SUCKS too bc the dub in and of itself isn't bad. I've said this before but #it really is primarily Yuri and his absolute ATTITUDE problem /and/ the way the dub treats Flynn and puts him down constantly #and unfortunately often uses Yuri to do it... when they're not having Flynn himself do it #all always in areas that never even happened originally. they just literally made it up #still not over how they had Flynn basically berate himself by saying ''like a /good knight/'' at Yormgen #the dub very clearly had a /narrative/ bias against imperial figures/knights that wasn't in the original #what was the reason to drop Sodia calling Yuri ''sir'' at Aurnion? there wasn't one!#but Sodia BaD so we can't possibly let anyone see her character development and have to hide it from dub players!#unfortunately for me the dub not being bad in and of itself truly is trumped by #its treatment of Yuri and Flynn as characters and the way the game narratively directs players #for me it really is THAT BAD that it's stronger than the rest of the dub being just fine #and it really truly honestly RUINS the entire dub for me bc I love Yuri and Flynn and hate seeing them treated like that #I mean literally the whole point of me making those text posts is bc of my love for Yuri lol #and it's so sad and hard to see dub players not get the same Yuri experience simply bc... they don't even know #a lot of people didn't even realize how different he was and like... I get loving Troy's acting #but again Troy isn't the problem here. I don't want a dub that treats my favorites the way it does #I WISH Troy could have voiced Yuri the way he really is. in some way for me it feels very lonely #bc like the casual person I pass by who knows Vesp isn't likely to have not played the dub you know??#so it's like... I wanna talk abt Yuri but we aren't even talking abt the same Yuri #nearly outta tags lol but yeah it just... makes me SO sad that they did all this to those two

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago

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...

#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

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moe-broey · 1 year ago

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I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)

But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.

#and like. a little less capitalist dystopia. i could do with less of that.#but focusing primarily on my own struggle. it's just a bummer sometimes like #i genuinely had fun!!! w my sisters and friends!!! esp at the arcade w ddr that is ALWAYS so fun #but man you can't even take me to your own damn house unless if you're ready to accept vampire rules.#my sister can/does dim the lights if i ask and i don't mind asking it's just fucking crazy to me like #damn uoy guys live like this. bright ass lights ten diff convos at once music in the bg. what if i died on this beanbag #BUT. THAT IS. one thing that is very nice i AM allowed to die on the beanbag!!!!!!! i'm allowed to cozy up and rest #while everyone does their own thing and i can listen in and chime in every now and again. severely underrated tbh #i really only feel a little hopeless when i think about like. public spaces where the only thing i can control is myself #IF i am ever employable again my requirements would be. no florescent lighting. i will die.#which like. kind of limits my prospects.#i do enjoy outdoors/physical work actually though so. i'm just limited bc i have to bind.#i am. so severely. banking on top surgery working out. it won't be a cure-all but by god it WILL open up my options #plus the. constant fatigue. of binding. but not binding is even worse. i need divine intervention (surgery)#SAD. well there are other people in yhe world #but man rhat is like my fave joke to make but i feel so much sadness attached to it. the world will move on without me.#there are a million other people who are far more capable. much 'easier'. ect.#and i know the answer is well there's only one me and there are a handful of people who love me. who keep me and include me #i am very thankful for that.#it's just a bit of a bummer sometimes. i stay silly and have the most fun i can but i am a little sad about it.

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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago

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;~; (tags vent)

#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it #im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping #and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today #and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only #there's no One Thing #but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect #and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like #i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to #make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part #between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more #and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place #nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik #im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here #but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my #control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound #im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away #and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself #but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin #other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly #i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do #cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections #im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans #“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all #relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed #i want ot be a PERSON #): i jsut miss my friends #and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends

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britneyshakespeare · 4 months ago

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I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."

I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.

Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.

#tales from diana #making unrebloggable bc i can't handle the discourse on this topic #my own experience with being abused and taken advantage of by someone who almost CERTAINLY had npd... just kinda breaks me #when i see this and it's like making it out to be 'everyone who says they suffered from narcissistic abuse is lying #or misunderstanding what narcissism is because ppl w npd would NEVER do this'#i can see that it's a highly stigmatized term and i don't want to act like an expert on what ppl w the condition go through #but i can tell you i felt deep sympathy for this man for a long time. i felt pity for all he'd gone through. but he'd just lay on the guilt #for every little thing i did that ever displeased him for any reason. he just degraded and disrespected me. and USED me #he used me for money for attention for CONSTANT attention oh my god #he wouldn't even let me go to sleep sometimes before 3 am. and he stole so much money from me #he put me in physical danger. he gossiped about me to all my friends when i was starting to distance myself #before i even came to terms with just how toxic he was to me.#and every time i just wanted to go somewhere wo him or even just stay at home by myself #it was about HIM. it was about how HE felt about it. he had ZERO sympathy for me and i handled all his emotional labor #this man couldn't even think for himself. he brought all his problems to me for me to sort through bc he was so inept and shallow #he was lazy he was careless he didn't listen to ppl he was casually rude #i didn't allow myself to accept these parts of him bc of all he suffered through i felt like he was just a sad little boy #who never learned manners or etiquette or. just. respect #basic respect. as much as i outlined what i wasn't ok w and what hurt me. it didn't matter to him #and NONE of these things are inherently the things that make me think he has npd #his actual suffering and the things i felt bad for him about were very real and severe #but i know what happened between us and i know he was abusive to me. the ppl writing these posts do not.#to say that someone has been abusive in an interpersonal relationship should be something we should be able to respect #and give ppl the benefit of the doubt. and victims may OFTEN not be well-informed about their own abusers' issues #but ppl can just know whether or not they were abused. regardless of if they fully grasp the why and how #if victims say something problematic or paint w a broad brush talking abt ppl who have something in common w their abuser #we should still correct that gently and kindly and not dismiss their experience outright #like i can't believe i have to say that. but i've seen some seriously upsetting posts on here recently.

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girlivealwaysbean · 1 year ago

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when will people understand tumblr is my safe space and if i wanted to see news i would just look it up on the three news apps downloaded on my phone

#maybe im wrong but idk i don't want to know and read about the war all the time yk because i can't fucking do anything about it sitting in #my room thousands of miles away???????#i am informed alright and horrified and sad i GET it #but so sick of these people saying you're horrible and have no compassion and are a baby for not keeping up with every news event #and not spreading information all the time #just saw a post that was like 'ppl saying uwu i have mental illness i can't talk about this all the time bc it makes me sad need to grow tf #up'#like oh please what 18 hours a day im awake and between everything else im supposed to keep up with the news 24/7???#sometimes i hate living in this world of internet sometimes i wish i could get my news from the newspaper in the morning once a day like my #parents

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tamaharu · 1 year ago

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okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds

#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys #im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF)#+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as:#I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone #but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring)#but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying.#right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch)#(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation)#but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner??#it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!!#in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes #but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek..#the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad...#follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical #(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.)#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog #lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc #go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them??#and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum #SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY

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itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago

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had 2 take a break 2 think abt a different one of my princesses. back 2 it

#it was helena. LOCK ME UP! SUE ME!#i miss her.#one thing abt me is if u put a woman in front of me and shes crazy and kills ppl and is covered in blood sometimes and was a child soldier #or otherwise had a very difficult upbringing and she has unhealthy attachments and difficult family and friend and romantic relationships.#ohhh im chomping at the bit. I LOVE IT !! I LOVE YOU INSANE WOMEN!!!#its bc it reminds me of my me. i havent killed anybody tho and wasnt a child soldier. only in like a not real metaphorical/crazy girl way.#shes just fr my precious princess. as a wise man once said repeatedly abt every single character he liked for a solid 3 months.#If she stopped slaying shed die shes like a shark. and who did that wise man (me) first say that abt. helena. huge dramatic nod #I MISS HERR MY PRINCESS. idt ill ever finish ob tho. i think maybe my Insane attachment to that show was a product of like ... kind of the #state i was in at the time. and i fear if i watched it again i might not like it as much #<- not that i think itd bad idr. i remember the acting being phenomenallll but ik the writing at least in my memory got a bit worse later o #bc they kind of just kept on being like Heh... evil corporation from this season.. ACTUALLY it was a subcorporation fo the REAL evil #corporation or ACTUALLLY it was a front for the REAL evil corporation or actually the innocuous subcorp was ACTUALLY the actual evil corp #yk. i noticed it and it ws all i could think abt #bc like damn how is this corporation so goddamn obscure. do THEY know what theyre doing ?#also helena doesnt have much to do in the plot later on iirc and it makes me sad bc shes fr my princess. like yes i like sarah i like #allison cosimas there (my beef with cosima is crazy) but like. helena thats my girl shes so me !#<- concerning statement to some. ITS NOT HER FAULT SHES A PRETTY PRINCESS!

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phagodyke · 6 months ago

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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around #pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable #my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters #no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time #gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt #but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years #and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again #but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and #others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard #it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl #bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either #and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for #but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own #bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me #but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form #and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind #and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will #and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing #and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense #its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out #and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up #and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain #its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit #and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after #or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life #i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever #and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it #and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel #thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable

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astrxealis · 9 months ago

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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO #it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think #bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular #endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me #and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL #it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late #bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play #(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have #sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things #but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black #ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine #but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow #like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities #and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and #idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs #both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me #and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah #anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab #yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow #kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too #so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda #lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway

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