#i do NOT understand what is going on so my time is better spent doing that

[val-the-protoss-simp]

Yeah, so. The best way I can explain my thoughts on these ships (especially Artazun - Artanis/Vorazun) is using one of Avril Lavigne's most iconic songs:

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can I make it anymore obvious?

Like, I'm not trying to throw any shade at all, people can ship whatever they want. But I am yet to meet a person who ships these two that explains why they like them so much in a way that makes sense to me. Because sooner or later, their explanation boils down to "He's a guy and she's a gal so ofc they'd be into each other" as if a straight ship is some kind of default and if a story has a male main character and a female main character, they have to end up together. And I just don't see it. Them as friends? Sure, absolutely, imo they're great as friends, but not as a couple. Alarak and Artanis have way more chemistry with one another. Bit of a hot take but so does Rohana and Vorazun. But Artanis/Vorazun is about as interesting to me as watching paint dry is. It's like when you pick up a mediocre romance book where the girl character obviously ends up with the boy character because That's Just How Things Are no matter of they're good together or not. No thanks. Pass

Kerrinor is a bit more complicated in a sense that the game actively tries to convince you these two are really into each other. But if I had to sum up their vibes, I'd reach for Sk8tr Boy again. "He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?" I just don't get the romantic vibes at all off of these two. Raynor frequently comes off as an incel that gives the vibes of someone who'd insist they know better than you and just to listen to them because they know best, while also transforming into the biggest simp in the galaxy in SC2 as he pines over a woman that's obviously not into him.

And Kerrigan gives me the vibes of someone who really does wanna see more in this weird relationship, but more because she thinks having someone to love will make her feel whole and worthy of living rather than that she really wants this. Like, if shit didn't go south and she didn't get infected, I'm 100% that eventually she'd go "Yeah sorry lol this ain't gonna work." and break it off with Raynor. Like, I do think she cares deeply for Raynor, don't get me wrong, and at one point might have thought what she feels is romantic love, but eventually comes to a point where she realises that it's a sense of kinship rather than anything romantic. She loves him as a friend, that is all.

And funny enough, if you know more about his character, you know he had a wife and a son that he tragically lost. Knowing this information and how he's written, Raynor comes off to me as someone who's desperately looking for that kind of love again, albeit without realising, because the time he spent happy with his family was the happiest he ever was and his defeated, depressed ass desperately wants that again. So he seeks that shit and Kerrigan just happens to be there.

You can clearly see that he cares deeply about her, but his feelings of affection are misplaced to the point he doesn't want to see the kind of person she is and instead tries to morph her into the kind of woman HE wants. Which is not who Kerrigan is at all. Revenge is all she has left, no matter what it takes, and Raynor again and again tries to talk her out of it for his own personal wants when she makes it very very clear this isn't something she wants to do and that she cannot just let go of what Mengsk did to her and what that man's choices turned her into. And instead of trying to understand why someone he supposedly understands so deeply would want to kill the man who robbed her off of everything and turned her into a monster that killed billions, he gets butthurt when she doesn't wanna run off with him and live happily ever after. I love Raynor for many reasons, I think he's a well written character in a lot of aspects but this just. Ain't it. If the game treated this behaviour of his as a flaw, I'd dig it. But instead it tries to tell how boo boo poor Raynor is just so unfortunate to want a woman that doesn't want him, even when he ignores everything that's important to her. That's just not doing it for me, fam. I get that the game tries to ram it down my throat as the technically only canon ship it gives us in its five installments, but I can't get behind it. Kerrinor is a big fat no for me, let them just stay friends.

a ship where i see what people see but it is simply not very interesting to me personally it’s like

[scarletttries]

Baldur's Gate 3 Companions With a Shy GN!Reader...(Baldur's Gate 3 Request)

Request: " Can I request for Baldur's Gate 3 companions with shy gender neutral s/o please?"

Pairings: Astarion x Reader, Wyll Ravengard x Reader, Gale Dekarios x Reader, Shadowheart x Reader, Karlach x Reader

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who sent in requests and has been reblogging my Baldur's Gate posts! Consider me open for any BG3 requests, let me know if you want to see more headcanons like this :)

Astarion:

- At first Astarion would find it hard to reconcile your shyness with his understanding of the way people behave. He would be suspicious of you initially, wondering why you insist on playing your cards so close to your chest. It wouldn't be until you finally warmed up to him and started to talk a bit more that he realised that this quiet tone to you is actually very endearing to him.

- When you two get together he would feel very proud to be the person you speak to the most. Astarion can be a little insecure sometimes so knowing that you choose to talk to him despite being selective with who you speak to would mean a lot to him. It would help him to trust you more too, knowing the the deep bond between you is almost a secret that you would never dare whisper to anyone else.

- Astarion loves being able to communicate with you with just a sly glance or a single whispered word, the two of you often having entire conversations without saying a word to those around you. When you need to talk your way into somewhere Astarion's always happy to do the talking, but he can't help but be impressed with the way you can navigate through a room quiet and unnoticed.

- As a partner Astarion needs more reassurance than he ever likes to show, so knowing that you'll go against your shy instincts to whisper a flirty thought or a sentimental memory to him when he starts to look worn out always boosts his spirits. He didn't know how much he needed someone just like you in his life until you became a core part of it.

Wyll:

- Wyll never shies away from the public or a spotlight, announcing himself as he enters almost any room, so when he meets someone who prefers to listen to those around them instead of interrupting, he'd become very interested in what you have to say. He'd make the effort to get to know you even if it didn't happen as naturally as sometimes other bonds have come to him, but as he worked to gain your trust and attention he'd never regret a moment of time spent getting you to warm up to him.

- When the two of you are together Wyll will never miss an opportunity to sing your praises, no matter how bashful it makes you! He needs you to know how amazing and appreciated you are, as he can never tell if you fully recognise your own brilliance.

- Wyll falls in love with the way you think before you speak, listening to every part of his story and really considering everything he tells you, never jumping to an assumption as so many people in his life have. He finds your accepting nature makes him a better man, and in return he only grows a deeper fondness for the way you carry yourself.

- As a partner Wyll always needs someone to be there for him, listening and reassuring, and he really finds that partner in you. He's never felt more loved and respected as he does when you give him the time and space to work through his feelings and history, the quiet stillness you bring to his life letting him find a peace he's never known before.

Gale:

- Gale has spent enough time studying magic at scholarly institutes to have met more than a few shy souls in his past, so when he notices you playing the shrinking violet he knows exactly how to give you all the time and space you need to finally share a bit of yourself with him.

- He knows that the most important things to hear usually come from those who don't speak unless they have something to say, and there's no exception to that in you. He really gives weight to everything you share with him, every opinion you pose, and every compliment you reward him with through flushed cheeks and nervous laughter. It only makes it that much sweeter that you don't dish out such comments absentmindedly.

- Gale also enjoys using a bit of your shyness against you, gaining a certain amount of satisfaction from being overtly flirty in public once the two of you are well into dating. He can't help but smile at the way you shy away from his loud declarations of love and the flirty comments whispered far too loudly across a tavern. His heart practically bursts when you try to hide your face in his hands when he's being far too vocal about how beautiful he finds you in front of the rest of your companions, and not a day goes by that he doesn't remind you of that fact.

- Thankfully he usually waits until you are alone to let his adoration pour out in his gentle words and touches, enjoying that while he can be a brash as he wants in public, he can feel your true appreciation in the quiet you spend alone. His life has held more than one dramatic chapter, so having someone who loves him so sweetly and mutters his name so softly when they praise him really means the world to Gale.

Shadowheart:

- More than anyone else, Shadowheart can appreciate the desire to keep parts of yourself hidden behind some firmly closed doors. She finds herself drawn to your quiet personality as the rest of the party are a bit boisterous for her taste, often favouring the seat beside you at any given campfire, knowing her boundaries will be respected, and any conversation made will be worthwhile.

- Once you two are together, she sees you as a respite from the endless questions of the outside world. The two of you can spend hours in comfortable silence together, only your interlocking fingers letting the other know you are still there. You give her the space to think through her decisions, but at the same time she knows that if you choose to speak up then she really should consider listening to what you have to say.

- Shadowheart finds herself more able to share pieces of herself with you, as you open up at the same gradual pace that she does. You don't rush to tell her everything or bombard her with questions like the others. Instead she'll often finding you waiting outside her tent at first light when she rises, offering her a hand for a quiet stroll through the forest as you softly tell her a tale from your childhood and she tries to imagine herself growing up alongside you, in a sweet version of her life she could almost convince herself is the truth.

- Shadowheart doesn't fully know her past, but with you as her partner, her future finally starts to come into focus, all because of you.

Karlach:

- Karlach has been loud and brash since the moment she could speak, so at first she thinks your shy demeanour is a sign of rejection of her friendship. It's disappointing that you don't want to talk to her, but she's not sensitive enough to worry about what every single person thinks of her. It would be endlessly frustrating to you that you have to really put yourself out there, making every effort to be by her side and forcing yourself to respond to her every remark to try and let her know you really do like her. In the end you'd just have to ask her to dance at a celebration with the rest of the group, and when she laughs and says she thought you didn't like her, please prepare yourself to tell her you like her so much that it makes it genuinely hard to talk sometimes.

- Once Karlach understands the concept of shyness and that it is not a personal affront to her, she will be very happy to do all the speaking for both of you. Every journey you take across the lands she will gladly fill the silence with every thought and tale, celebrating loudly every times she manages to make you gasp or laugh along with her.

- Karlach will take a lot of pride in the thought that you like her so much that you are almost rendered speechless, and get quite jealous when she realises you are being shy around other people too. Worried that everyone will be seduced by your strong-silent type behaviour she would definitely insist on holding your hand as much as possible, or loudly shouting across combat that you and her are an item just in case anyone was getting the wrong idea.

- While your personality might have started as a bit of a mystery to Karlach, once you two really know each other she'll come to highly value your way of carrying yourself, learning a few things about protecting herself from undue influences, while keeping herself open to the important people in her life, like you!

[puckinghischier]

hi there, English is not my first language but I hope you will understand me.I have a request for a nico one shot about reader being in a friend group and slowly getting left out and eventually getting replaced. at first she didn't tell nico bc she didn't want hit to worry but neeks slowly noticing a slight change in a reader behavior and ask reader what's wrong. at first reader don't want to talk about it but at the end the whole bubble breaks and reader is sobbing and crying in Nico's arms. I hope you understand what I mean.Btw i LOVE all your fanfics, I hope it's not too long, thank you in advance ❤️❤️

he had noticed the slight shift in your routine. suddenly you were home more, a little clingier, asking if you could tag along with him and the guys more often. none of which mattered to him. if anything, nico loved the extra time spent with you. but you just seemed…sad.

he realized you hadn’t mentioned any plans with your friends recently, at first just chalking it up to him being on a stretch of home games and you wanting to spend your time with him before he had to leave again. but when he was on the road for the better part of a week, and you were home, in your pjs every night he called you, he knew something was up.

“schatz, can i ask you a question?” nico asked you after dinner one night, having sensed your overall demeanor was off all day.

“sure, you know you can always ask me stuff,” you turn to face him, leaning into the plush couch.

he thinks about how to word his question without sounding accusatory or like doesn’t enjoy the increased time together. “well…i’ve just noticed, you’ve been home a lot more lately and i haven’t heard you talk about the girls much recently. is there a reason? or are you just so obsessed with me you can’t bear to be apart,” he tries to add humor to offset the serious connotation of the sentence.

your body goes rigid, surprising him. you won’t meet his eyes, your hands coming together to pick at your fingernails. he watches the tears prick at your eyes, alarm bells going off in his head.

“i-, no, it’s nothing. just, no plans lately,” you say, voice strained, still not meeting his eyes.

he watches your lip tremble, knowing there’s more to the story, but not knowing if he should push the issue or accept the answer. he brings a hand over to rest on your knee, rubbing his thumb back and forth in a soothing motion.

“okay, i was just curious. didn’t know if something had happened or if you just wanted more nico time,” he chuckles, trying to relieve some of the sudden tension, no humor found in the situation.

his attempts were futile, because the second the words left his mouth you broke down, falling forward into his arms. he held you as you sobbed on his shoulder, slightly shocked at the sudden outburst of emotions.

“hey, shhh. it’s okay, sweet girl. i’ve got you, okay? i love you,” he tried to reassure you, lifting you to fully sit on his lap. he let you purge whatever emotions needed to be let out, not pulling back from the tight embrace until you did.

he’s met with your puffy, red eyes. he can feel the wet spot on his shoulder, but ignoring anything that isn’t you. brining his hands up, he wipes away the wetness on your face, squishing your face together while pulling it forward slightly, giving you a salty kiss.

“you know i love you, right?” he asks you as he pulls back from the kiss, earning a small nod of your head.

“i love you too,” you rasp out, bringing your own hands up to run down your face, wiping your own tears. “sorry about all that i just…been holding that in for awhile.”

nico removes some hair that was sticking to your cheek, shaking his head. “what’s going on, sweetheart?”

you take a deep breath, suddenly embarrassed. “it’s stupid, really. i mean, i’m a grown woman, i shouldn’t be upset over something so trivial,” you start, a humorless laugh escaping you.

“no, we’re not doing that. if it’s making you feel like this it’s important, it doesn’t matter what it is,” nico responds, slightly scolding you. “just tell me, maybe i can help.”

you smile at his words, heart swelling with love for the man in front of you. “well…basically i don’t think i have friends any more? i mean, i don’t know. for the past few weeks i quit getting invites. i thought at first maybe it was a lull in plans with the whole group, but when i saw them posting they were out for drinks one night and i checked the group chat to see that the group chat…didn’t exist anymore, i realized what was happening,” you start, shrugging.

“i messaged each of the girls individually, but no one responded. then it turned into taking digs at me in their captions on their pictures from dinners, nights out, events i was never invited to. no one ever told me why. or if i did something. one night we were at the bar grabbing dinner and drinks while you were on the road and the next, i was booted from the group chat and never to be spoken to again,” you tell him, knowing it’s all over the place and confusing, but it’s the truth. one night you were laughing and chatting with your best friends. the next, you were sitting alone at your apartment, watching them get together without you.

“it’s so middle school mean girl coded, but even at 24, it hurts. i know i don’t need those type of women in my life, but they’re my friends, neeks. at least…i thought they were,” you started tearing up again, feeling nico squeeze the hand he was holding.

nico’s heart breaks for you, knowing how much you loved your girls. he can’t imagine who, in their right mind, would just kick someone as caring, sweet, and loving as you out of their life for seemingly no reason.

“oh, my sweet girl,” he brings you back in for an embrace. “you’re too good for them, you know that?” he tells you, meaning every word.

he always had some issues with your friend group, but he never voiced his concerns, because he didn’t want to upset your or seem like he was being controlling. he could tell they were always just…off though. always wanting to tag along with you to hockey games, wanting a box when you told him you liked sitting down in the crowd better. they always changed plans you suggested, doing what they wanted instead of what you wanted. only ever wanting to attend get togethers at yours and his apartment if other guys from the team were gonna be there.

“it just sucks, neeks. i mean, how pathetic? i’m a grown woman who has no friends and her only social life revolves around her professional athlete boyfriend? i feel like such a leech,” you admit.

nico sees red, wanting to go and give all of those women a piece of his mind for how they’re making you feel.

“listen to me, don’t you ever say those words to me again, do you hear me?” he fusses at you, as serious as he’s ever been. “you’re the farthest thing from a leech. i want you around me all the time. i want you to tag along to every event, every team outing, every game. i enjoy spending my time with you, and getting to have you to myself every night.”

your heart swells once again, having been worried lately you were being too clingy.

“those women? they’re the pathetic ones. if they can’t see the absolute gem of a person they had around them, then they’re the ones who should be ashamed,” he looks you in the eyes as he speaks, willing your brain to soak in and listen to every word.

“i love you,” is all you can think to say in response, not knowing how else to express your feelings in the moment. you lean in to touch your lips to his, wishing to convey every ounce of thankfulness, love, and appreciation for him through the kiss.

he kiss you back softly, pulling back after a few moments.

“so, now that that’s settled, you wanna go out for drinks with me and the guys tomorrow? think a few of the other wives and girlfriends are coming, too. might be fun?” he asks you, already concocting a plan to find you a new, trustworthy group of girl friends.

“hmmmm, let me check my schedule, i might be booked and busy,” you joke, his words having made you feel light as a feather, any sadness working its way out of your body.

he rolls his eyes at you, letting out a playful growl as he attacks your neck with kisses, earning a laugh out of you.

[milkoomi]

⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

a mini series on the art of becoming a better you

chapter 1 | chapter 2

chapter three — THE ART OF SAYING “NO”

learning to say “no” and having boundaries can really lift you up. it brings you this strength that you felt like would have been impossible to have. the mentality and emotional power it gives you can make you feel unstoppable! however, i know there’s a lot of us out there that may struggle with putting your foot down and saying no. and that’s okay! this chapter is here to teach you that saying “no” and putting your own needs first is something that you are allowed to do! people pleasing is a big thing that stops a lot of us from setting boundaries, and unfortunately, it’s caused us to be put in situations or relationships that aren’t good for us. say “no”! set those boundaries! you have a right to do so.

ᥫ᭡. the importance of putting yourself first

let’s start this chapter off with a discussion on why you need to put you and your own needs first.

you can’t give your best to others when you, yourself, aren’t at your best.

this is one of the biggest lessons i had to learn for myself. i’m not one to always call out from work or miss a lecture, but there are days where my mental health is really struggling and i can’t bring myself to even get out of bed. so, i prioritize myself and take a day to rest, relax, and recharge so that i can continue to give my all the next day! people always talk about prioritizing your health, but they don’t always include mental health, so be sure that when you prioritize your health that you’re also taking your mental/emotional state in mind!

you also can’t expect yourself to give others your best when you aren’t providing yourself the best. if a friend needs you, but you are in a spot where you need yourself more yet you continue to give to another person, then you’ll have nothing left for yourself. one of the first things you hear on an airplane is to put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else with theirs. so use that same mindset of helping and taking care of yourself first before you go and help another.

people pleasing gets you nowhere

to piggyback off of the previous statement, if you’re constantly someone’s “yes” man/woman/person, you’re constantly putting yourself in a position that makes you their personal doormat. people will lose respect for you and your boundaries if you’re always trying to please them; they see it all as an opportunity to use and take advantage of you, your time, and your energy.

you can still be a good person while still having boundaries! just because you’re setting a personal boundary for yourself and for others that doesn’t automatically mean you’re selfish or anything along the lines of being a bad person.

ᥫ᭡. how to set boundaries

setting boundaries is key! it’s important that these boundaries are put into place so that your own energy isn’t taken from you, especially when you need your energy the most.

know what your personal limits are

understanding what you will and will not accept will help be the first step into knowing what boundaries you want to set! take time to reflect and ask yourself, “what do i want with my time, my emotions, and my relationships?” know how you want your energy to be spent.

be clear about your boundaries

having a good idea of what you need and want for yourself will help you communicate your boundaries. once you know your own personal limits, create a clear boundary that you want to set for yourself and for others.

use “I” statements

setting a healthy boundary is important, so be sure to use statements with “i feel…” rather than “you…” because those “you” statements can come off as accusatory, and whoever it may be that you’re setting a boundary with may not take kindly to it.

consistency

make sure you’re consistent with your boundaries. reapply or restate them until those boundaries stick. practice, practice, practice! consistency will help to continue to reinforce the boundaries you’ve set!

set consequences

people will cross your boundaries, and it’s going to happen and it will be extremely frustrating. a lot of times, unfortunately, people will continue to cross your boundaries over and over again, so set consequences.

i’m not saying you have to be outright rude or lash out on them; fighting negativity with negativity is an unnecessary stressor to put on yourself. create a plan for yourself that will help you communicate some kind of response for whenever your boundaries are being crossed.

ᥫ᭡. practice saying “no”

saying “no” is one of the key things when setting boundaries. you don’t want to go out with people? say no. your boss is asking you to pick up more hours, but you’re already starting to feel drained? say no. a friend is asking you if they can vent to you, but you’re not in the right headspace to deal with strong emotions? say no.

you can always politely say no, of course, especially in a healthy friendship/relationship or a professional setting.

here’s how:

“i’m not feeling up for it right now, maybe when i’m feeling better another day we can!”

“i can’t take those hours on, i have prior responsibilities i need to attend to.”

“i’m not in the right headspace to take that on right now, but i still love and care for you!”

i know there’s a lot of us who might worry about coming off as rude, but there are so many ways other than the ones i mentioned to say no!

again, you can still be a good person and have boundaries. if anything, having boundaries puts you in healthier mindset and can bring you healthier relationships with people! boundaries are there to strengthen yourself!

you have to be firm and to assert yourself. you know you don’t want your time and your energy to be spent on someone or something that drains you more than replenishes you.

ᥫ᭡. final notes

i just want to keep reiterating that you are allowed to say no and set boundaries. too many of us have lived lives where we felt like our purpose was to please others and give and give until we have nothing left for ourselves. put yourself first! i say this all the time: you are always you’re number one priority. it’s the truth, and i’ll keep saying the truth until it sticks for you because you need to know that for yourself. you are allowed to prioritize yourself, your wants, and your needs. being selfish, for the right reasons, is okay! wanting to take care of yourself and focus on your needs is the right reason to be selfish. you’re allowed to want your own time, you’re allowed to be there for yourself before anyone else, you’re allowed to put your own well-being before others— you should be doing so! becoming a better you means learning to put yourself first!

with lots of love, juno 🌷

[anyroads]

Hello again to one of my favorite posts on Tumblr! Because yes, this, exactly.

I'm going to add onto this post as someone who's spent several years working through trauma with a therapist. Doing so doesn't make me an authority on the subject by any means, but it does mean I've put a lot of thought and study into it alongside someone whose formal training and qualifications make them an excellent resource. And it also means that I have experiences and responses which, while not representative of everyone, are nevertheless worth something, especially to those who believe in elevating voices instead of speaking for people as an act of support.

Trauma is a result of instinctive defensive responses that, put simply, activate your fight and flight response. The brain identifies danger, the frontal cortex begins to go offline, and the amygdala takes over. One of the major effects of this is on memory: when the frontal cortex is online, memories are formed as linear stories with a beginning, middle, and end (this is also why we tell stories this way, because it's literally how our brains save experiences).

Part of a traumatic experience is that since certain brain functions are essentially off, memories aren't stored as memories. It's kind of like if your memory center was a filing cabinet and every memory was a file neatly stored in that cabinet, then trauma is a folder that's left on top of the cabinet or dropped on the floor somewhere nearby. It's still in the folder, ie. you can remember the event and you might remember the beginning, middle, and end, or you might have even taken the pieces and shoved them into that format later to make sense of them. But your brain hasn't put them in the cabinet. They aren't filed under "completed experience." So then every time something happens that triggers that memory, your brain's defense response is to think it's happening again, and it starts going into fight or flight mode. To your brain, that experience isn't over - it's an open folder, and therefore its story can continue at any moment.

This is what the word "triggered" actually means, btw. It means your frontal cortex starts going offline and your amygdala starts taking over, because your brain thought that was the best defensive response at the time of the traumatic experience, so it's relying on using the same response again because if you survived, then it must have been effective, right? It's really hard to tell your brain that it doesn't need to do this, and that triggering an anxiety response isn't helpful. At all. This was a helpful response when we lived in the wilderness and, say, while you're sitting around making arrowheads, you hear a twig snap and then a saber toothed tiger leaps out of the bush and mauls your clan mate to death in front of you. So every time you hear a twig snap, your brain thinks there's a saber toothed tiger coming, and goes into fight or flight mode.

This helped when that adrenaline response meant your reflexes were quicker and you could run faster, and a twig snapping meant there was a good chance something was sneaking up on you. But that's not the case anymore, and your brain is just basically taking innocuous stimuli and translating it as a threat in situations that aren't dangerous and you'd actually be better able to deal with if you didn't have to go through a trigger response. One thing I've learned to do in the last couple of years is to identify what this process feels like in my body physically, catch it early, and do mental exercises that keep my frontal cortex online and avoid having triggered responses. It's been difficult to learn and to carve out these neural pathways, and to understand the whole process. This is hard, complex, grueling stuff.

So yes, OP is 100% correct and words like "trauma" and "triggered" are overused in ways that disrespectful and minimizing to people who actually experience these things. To be traumatized is much more than to be upset. It's to go through an experience that changes your psychological response to certain stimuli or situations. It's not just an unpleasant experience, it's one that leaves mental (and sometimes physical) scars. I'm talking about experiences ranging from, but not limited to, abuse, serious accidents, physical violations, etc. and not seeing a scene in a movie that you didn't like. And hey, we can even give space to things like disturbing content that replays in your brain again and again - I experience this, it's called an intrusive thought, and it's not the same as a traumatic experience.

Stop using the vocabulary of people with legitimate needs to exaggerate your personal discomforts. It's selfish and obnoxious and minimizes the struggles and needs of people who actually experience the things you're stealing the language for.

I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?

I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.

Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 121 (Waiting For Word in Brindleton Bay)

To keep her mind off Conrad's risky trip to Sulani right before Love Day, Heather focused hard at work. She continued exchanging notes with her architect in Evergreen Harbour, forging ahead with plans to remodel her clinic in the spring.

After tending to sick pets with ease, she took time to chat with some of the locals in the lobby. J Huntington and his wife, Liberty, had brought in one of their cats, and J was interested in chatting with Heather about her experience working for Landgraab Corp. She looked at him with surprise.

"With George MIA, I set up a meeting with some suit from the city to talk about operating Bay Security through one of their subsidiaries. I'm just trying to do right by my guys."

Heather considered her advice carefully. As much as she had loathed working for Landgraab Corp. for personal and professional reasons, they seemed better in business than George Brindleton, at the very least. "I think what Landgraab Corp. might lack in the expertise needed to run a good clinic, they make up for with the money and protection your guys are probably looking for," she reasoned.

He thanked her before Kaori took Liberty and their cat into an exam room, and Heather turned her attention to Brant Hecking, a dog lover who had brought in two of his pups for a check-up.

"How are you and Brent doing?" she asked warmly. "And how's your son, Barrett?"

"He's doing amazing. Loves to wave. Even if he's met you a hundred times, he waves every time he sees you."

"Lavender loves hanging out with him at daycare. I can't thank Brent enough for watching her tonight. I'm running another spay-for-all promotion this week and working late every night. Hazel's visiting her girlfriend for Love Day...The timing of Conrad's work trip to Sulani isn't great."

"Don't sweat it! I hope he catches a bit of sun after the long winter we've had. Barrett loves Lavender, and we're happy to watch her anytime."

Heather forced a laugh. A bit of sun would be nice. Not that she needed a vacation, exactly, but she was annoyed that Conrad would likely miss Love Day, and annoyed at herself for caring at all. She'd never been flirty, and Love Day was just a corporate holiday, but he didn't even mention it when he called to say he was going to find Rafa.

He was understandably distracted, and they had more important things to worry about than Love Day. But that didn't mean she didn't want to spent the day with Conrad, regardless.

Instead, he was putting himself in danger for George Brindleton, and she could barely stand it.

She picked up her daughter from the Heckings after dark, thanking Brent for watching her wild toddler. "She was on her best behaviour for Barrett and me tonight," said Brent.

Watching Lavender and Barrett babble away together in the snow, Heather smiled. "You're all welcome over any time - all five dogs, too!"

(The Heckings adopted four dogs, at random, in addition to Rosie who they already had. None of the dogs are related to each other because of course I checked whether this was a puppy situation. It's not, they're just like Heather but MORE!)

She got home and made pancakes for dinner, and Ash set the table without being asked. She called Conrad but he didn't pick up, so she left a voicemail. "Hey it's me," she said, disguising the worry in her voice in front of the kids. "We're sitting down to dinner and I just wanted to check in and say I love you."

It bothered her that he hadn't called. She knew he was busy, but she hoped he would have by now. And then, just to add to her stress, they were surprised by a NAP inspector, who fined her for not having a recycler or a fabricator in support of the town's upcycling initiative.

Heather was frustrated - her dad had both growing up, and she always thought the clunky machines made too much noise - so she retreated to her beloved video games for a little bit of free time to relax while Ash watched TV and Lavender played with blocks.

Soon enough, that free time had turned into perfecting a mod for MySims!Go. Deep in concentration, Ash startled her after he'd gotten ready for bed.

"If you love video games, why are you always modding them?"

"After you've played a game for a while, modding can help keep it fun. It gives new goals to achieve in the game or just makes the graphics look better."

"If games get boring, why don't you design one?"

She laughed. "I don't think anyone could design a video game that wouldn't get boring eventually."

"Just make it thousands of levels so people can never beat it and they'll always play your game. I know I'd play any game you made, and my friends would, too!"

The logic of the eight-year-old genius was straightforward, and Heather smiled. She had more than enough on her plate these days, but the thought of designing a video game her son loved to play made her think seriously about the idea. If she even had an idea.

After playing with wild Lavender for a while before bed to tire her out, her daughter did her usual goodnight routine with the pets upstairs before Heather tucked both kids into bed.

She let Gord out one last time before locking up for the night. He was loving and friendly as always, but Heather could sense he was worried.

Gord probably sensed her fears, too, and they tried to comfort each other on the back patio before she headed inside. She checked her phone one last time with a nervous glance.

Conrad still hadn't checked in yet. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

NOTE: I know Love Day is a default spring holiday in Sims 4 but I always move it to winter. I grew up in Canada and February is full-on wintertime, so I only know VDay as a dead-of-winter holiday! But spring is near in game (not in real life), and with this Love Day looking like a bust, I don't mind that we're kind of blowing through it while playing out Conrad's eventful trip to Sulani.

But oh if Heather knew Conrad was lying on the sand knocked out, she'd drop the kids off with someone and fly to Sulani herself. That's true love!

[theswanqu22n]

Jealous?...

tate x reader. (Idk what it's this but def not smut).

Tate is your best ghost friend since you moved in with your parents to the murder house, you knew absolutely everything about him since he was afraid of losing you just like he did with Violet; but he was in love with you.

You knew it wasn't easy to be his friend, and yet you continued to be one, even though lately he had been showing signs of being a toxic and problematic friend, to the point where he would wait for you outside the bathroom every time you used it and that had already fed you up.

One day after going to school, you invited a classmate to do homework with you, and Tate was watching every damn step or word you said.

It was that, when you went to grab some chips and returned to your room your classmate was no longer there, where did he go? You didn't even see him leave through the main door...could it have been Tate?

"He said he had things to do." Tate's voice echoed through your room, standing in one of the corners like a typical stalker.

You looked at him and gasped, what a scare.

"Really? God, and I went to get more chips" you said disappointedly throwing the bowl of chips on your bed without spilling them, Tate walked towards you with his arms at his sides and said.

"he was boring anyways." He murmured until he reached your side, you turned to look at him and crossed your arms. "What was his name again? Ah...Sam? A girls name." He scoffed coldly but you could tell his mockery didn't sound genuine but rather annoyed.

"What's wrong with you? He was only here like... what, twenty minutes?" you said defensively and Tate clenched his jaw.

"So what? He probably got bored of you for all you know." He said, looking at you with a frown, his jaw set and his fists clenched, and you noticed it all but decided not to point it out. "He couldn't stop talking about himself" he added.

Yes, he ran away, it was easy to deduce.

"You scared him, didn't you?" you finally asked, annoyed. You had to do that damn school project and Tate ruined it.

"So what? I can help you do that!" he said defensively. "What is it? Math? I'm good at it, you know that."

"I don't care if you're good at it! It's a pair assignment and you just ruined my grades" you almost yelled at him and he just crossed his arms looking at you irritated.

"I was overwhelmed by the sight of him, okay?" He was standing so close to you and looking at you with the eyes of a... dog eager to mate!" He said and raised his eyebrows hoping you were on his side which of course you weren't, you let out a scoff.

"overwhelmed? you crazy-, are you jealous?" you said right away when you realized that he probably had feelings for you, it would be understandable since you spent almost all your time together.

"jealo- of course not, I would die again to prove it" he said irritated and looked to the side, and you let out a laugh.

"Yeah, sure, and what did you say to Sam to make him leave?" you asked mockingly, he clenched his jaw tighter when he heard you mock him.

"I told him that... you had diarrhea and you didn't want to come back from the bathroom, so he Ran away disgusted." He said embarrassed, your laughter fell in seconds full of panic, now everyone would believe that you have explosive diarrhea!

"YOU!" you yelled and he looked at you again, then smirked at you.

"What's wrong y/n? Where did your mocking little laugh go, mhm?" He said, Tate and lowered his arms, walked closer to you and leaned down to see you better. "And yes, I like you... I hope that makes it clear to you that I would do worse things to ruin your mini dates with guys with girl names"

He said, winking at you and then walking past you, he grabbed the bowl of chips and popped one into his mouth, then he walked out of your room with a giggle and chewing loudly, and you... stood embarrassed in the middle of your room.

damn Tate.

dividers: @/anitalenia

[prettygoododds]

Thank you so much @rimeswithpurple @emeryhall @roomwithanopenfire @monbons @nausikaaa @artsyunderstudy and @martsonmars for the tags! You can definitely tell everyone is done digging themselves out of the holidays and countdown. I'm loving all the content I'm seeing.

I've particularly liked seeing some people's fandom's resolutions. It made me think of my own.

I spent a lot of last year trying to find a good balance between the things I'm obligated to do and the things I want to do. By the time the COC hit, I was in the mindset that the things I needed to do were too much and I had to skip COC this year. This made me incredibly angry and resentful. I hated that the thing I wanted to do was the thing I gave up. So, with spite fueling me forward, I did the COC and I'm so glad I did. But that did make me reflect on how I proceed.

I'm not going to overthink things. I'm going to do the things that make me happy. And what makes me happy is this fandom, the supportive people in it and writing. I need to lean on other folks for the things that are obligations. I don't have to do all the things, but I should at least do the things that bring me joy.

That being said, who wants to see a little of that joy?

Picket Fence blurb:

This happens again and again.  An almost blowie in his kitchen, a hot and heavy grind on his sofa that came to an abrupt halt when his aunt stopped by, and one unfortunate tumble in his garden that ended with both of us thorny and grumpy. And look, I’m all for edging, but not like this. Not spread out over days and days and with no actual end in sight.  I’m ready to explode. Literally.

A non-Carry On blurb (A Power Unbound Jack/Alan) :

“Apologies my lord,” Alan says back, breathing heavily into neck. “I wasn’t expecting you.” “Am I to understand you are always entertaining handsome men at your desk then?” “There was a handsome man at my desk?” Alan says cheekily. “I only saw you, my lord. Who could see anyone else once you’re in the room.” “You do not have to placate me,” Jack growls, frustrated by his own insecurities. “I know a younger, better man when I see one.” “You’ll have to point them out to me next time,” Alan says, catching Jack’s chin in his fingers and forcing him to look him in the eyes. “For I saw no one who could hold a candle to my stubborn aristocrat.” Jack has to close his eyes and absorb that last sentence.

I have something else that I'll be posting soon, but I don't want to spoil it so just know you'll see something soon-ish.

I've also got to start work shopping something for the COBB. If anyone has an idea I would not be opposed to a little jump start because I am stuck.

Ok, well, I feel this got wordy. Thanks if you stayed to the end. Here's some very non-pressure tags:

@ic3-que3n @dohrnaira @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @imagineacoolusername

@shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @wellbelesbian @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla

@blackberrysummerblog @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature

@shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @hushed-chorus @youarenevertooold

@noblecorgi @talentpiper11 @bookish-bogwitch

[poeticblissme]

I will be as honest as possible when I answer this because I truly know and understand your struggle, and I want to be as transparent with my thoughts and feelings on this to properly try my best to help you see a different perspective so bare with me it may be a bit wordy.

I have spent a good amount of my life wishing I could do things in the entertainment industry. I have memorized countless movies since I was 8, even before that really. My whole heart is into doing things like acting, it’s been a Dream of mine to be on movies and stages. However, it has been countless dead ends for me. I would fall off because I felt like it was never going anywhere, that and I am constantly stuck doing jobs and things I absolutely detest, knowing where my heart is at. But I also felt unworthy, I felt like there are others who are clearly better than me, that I had no real space to even try it because of everything else never worked out for me? Why would something I actually enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life work out.

Over the years, I feel into deep stages of sadness and bitterness because I saw others succeed, I have seen people who have done less receive more and I had a fear that if I try, it was just bound to fail. My family have talents, and the one I love I don’t even feel I’m fully good at because I’ve seen how others do so much better. I can’t do much, I don’t and can’t do what I see everyone else can. I looked at myself as ordinary and unimportant. So I stopped trying. I stopped looking. I wanted to give up entirely because feeling empty was better than facing this crippling mindset that made it hard to breathe.

However, around 2020, when the pandemic came around, I got more into spirituality. And through those months of me finding myself again, I started taken small intricate steps to try and change this mindset. It was so hard, the amount of self accountability I had to learn for what I love and what I let my mind control in terms of outward action was difficult, but I can tell you what I have learned and I hope this gives you a piece of hope or motivation to take these steps even with your fear.

As a human being, it is natural to be afraid to do something you feel in your heart is good for you. Be it a passion, a relationship, or anything that forces you to step out of your comfort zone to do something you never imaged for yourself before. You will not know what you are doing sometimes but that is apart of the journey, you don’t know what your doing until you have done it enough times that you finally do know what to do and integrate that into your life slowly but surely. The point is to put in the effort anyway because you have that feeling that it is something that will make you happy. Trying is the reassurance to your soul.

The feeling of being stuck is your survival and comfort mindset trying to keep you where you think you are safe. If this is something you feel you want to pursue, then you have to force yourself to propel yourself forward, you have to work with that fear, make mistakes, ask the questions, do the research, experience the experience of the unknown fully, otherwise you will live with the regret of what could have been.

I have done so much since I started this little journey of mine. I have done things I never imaged myself doing, and now I am in a place where I do still yearn for more, but I am also in a state of gratitude because I have gone so much father than I thought I would when I had stopped trying completely. I am not fully in the place I want to be, but the places I have been are motivation for me to keep trying because I know that it is indeed possible somehow someway. The things I didn’t know, now I do. The things I still don’t know scare me, but I am doing my best to open to the unknown and let it make me better and stronger so that when (Yes not if, when) the next pieces of my dream come to me, I will be even more ready than I was the day before.

All of this to say, Please. Please chase that dream of publishing your book. Even if you feel afraid, take your hand and slowly guide your feet toward the shore line. Dip your toes in slowly and learn how the water feels, step on a shell every now and again, take the pain and confusion and learn from it so when you step on it again it does not hurt as much, and then you will learn how to avoid the shell completely. Before you know it, you will have completely submerged yourself in the waters you were afraid to go into, and your life will fill that much more full because you took those steps you were once afraid to take. 🤍🖤

I’m gonna confess something here, gonna get real raw with it.

But I think, no I know, I am terrified of trying.

I so desperately want to publish a novel, multiple even. I have them in the bag. But I am so scared of moving forward even an inch.

I have been writing since I was ten, I have been doing these monster stories since 2017.

And I have gone nowhere.

I am so frightened of the next steps. I believe if I don’t know what I’m doing I can’t do anything.

I’ve been working this out in therapy but like…I do feel stuck. I’ve imbedded myself so much here and in comfort I don’t know what to do.

What do I do? How do I publish? Who do I ask?

Is it me? Do I have to do this now?

I wanted to say this, in hopes putting it out there I can pull myself out of the complacent pit I’ve made and move along. But yeah, I’m terrified and I really have no clue what to do. Everyone else who is publishing seems so far ahead and they know everything. But, maybe that’s also an excuse for myself I need to face.

[peachhcs]

i also feel like mack and sammy are more similar and will and blarie are similar so the relationships between all of them are just adorable !

going more on will and blarie he also understands her for why she broke up with mack because he gets it especially with him breaking up with sammy

and of course sammy is definitely a sister to blarie

i totally agree. will and blaire will become really close and so will samy and mack. (also in my active era rn so send more requests in and ill answer!)

au masterlist

mack invited blaire and will over to hang out since he wanted them to get to know one another better because they were the two closest people in his life at the moment (besides his family). blaire was more than happy to hang out, especially because she really liked joe's little daughter, ayla. will had nothing better to do, so he made the drive over.

now they were sitting on the back steps of the porch watching mack run around with ayla and river in a game of what the little kids liked to call "tackle the hockey player." will opted out after being chased five times and blaire got a pass because the little two didn't wanna tackle her.

"they love him," blaire smiled watching her boyfriend run around and the kids were screaming his name.

"they really do. they for sure look up to him," will chuckled.

"i'm sure the marleau kids love you too," the dirty blonde said and the blonde smiled to himself. "yeah, they think i'm pretty cool i guess."

"you know mack talks about you a lot. if i didn't know any better, i'd assume you two were dating or something," blaire teased making both of them laugh.

"yeah, we really can't beat those allegations. he's a really cool person. it's cool you guys knew one another before this," will and blaire met each other's gazes.

"did he tell you that i thought he was super annoying and stuck up when he first came to shattuck?"

"i actually don't know a lot about you. mack kept it quiet," the blonde admitted.

"figures. well, my fourteen year old self never thought he was special or anything just because he played hockey. i thought all hockey players were stuck up, no offense," will laughed, "none taken."

"it wasn't until i actually talked to him that i finally realized maybe he wasn't as stuck up as i thought he was. his dedication was admirable and then we just kept hanging out more and more and then one thing led to another.." blaire blushed as her voice faded off. those days at shattuck seemed like so long ago.

"what made you guys break up?" will wondered not knowing how much of a touchy subject it still was. when blaire fell spent he quickly backtracked, "you don't have to tell me. i was just wondering."

"it was a lot of stuff, but i guess i kind of freaked when we were going to different school across the country. i thought he was gonna leave me or something and i wanted to save myself the hurt so i left before i could get hurt," the girl finally explained and will's chest burned hearing how similar that sounded to what happened to him and samy this past summer.

"i know that one a little too well.." the blonde mumbled making the figure skater snap her gaze to him. will stared at their shoes instead of meeting her glance.

"you do?"

"kind of, yeah. samy and i went through something similar. i freaked too i guess. i thought i couldn't be the boyfriend she needed being so far away. i broke up with her at the beginning of the summer and we didn't get back together until i moved to san jose. i get the feeling though. it's one that just consumes you until it's all you think about at night and you have to do something about it to stop thinking about it," will's head hung low. he hated thinking about this past summer and how much he hurt samy and himself thinking he was making the right choice.

blaire stared at him in disbelief though because he described perfectly the feeling she constantly thought about in the back of her mind and how she fought every bad thought she still had about not being good enough for mack and running when things got serious.

"you get it," the girl mumbled and will finally met her gaze. "i guess i get scared of people leaving all the time whenever i get close to them because my mom left and then my older brother just doesn't talk to me anymore," she added when the blonde didn't respond right away.

"i'm sorry. that sucks," he frowned.

"it's fine. i think i'm finally working through it and mack makes sure i know he won't just leave me like that," they looked back out at the brunette still running around with the littles.

"well, you definitely have a super cool boyfriend and now super cool best friend to the boyfriend, so i'm always here to talk about that stuff if you ever want to," will smiled softly making blaire smile back.

"thanks, will. that means a lot. i can't wait to get to know you more and your girlfriend. you two seem like really important people in mack's life," the blonde flushed.

"you could say that, yeah."

"guys, i'm getting tired. someone needs to sub in," mack called from the yard where he doubled over to catch his breath. ayla and river laughed at him.

"i don't know man, i'm pretty beat," will called back.

"maybe it's time we all head inside? i think we're all tired," blaire laughed and stood up. she watched mack convince the two that they should go inside and then they came running to the steps.

"that was rough," mack mumbled when he made it over.

"they're really good at tackling. that will be good for when they wanna send people in the boards," will joked.

"oh, i'm sure joe will love that," mack said and they all headed inside to see what else ayla and river wanted to do.

[pociondeodio]

i love izzy roland bc every time anyone is doing car shit she goes [charli xcx voice] "let's ride" and i find that very relatable

[songofsunset]

Today we weren't allowed out on the playground due to wet paint, and my kids were doing great but by the end of the day we were getting stir crazy and bouncing off the walls

And also separately we've been working with this one kid to try and control her temper (her tiny body fills up with So Much Rage and she will bite!!!) and I realized that we only tried to give her tools to deal with that when she was all worked up, and that isn't any sort of way to build a new skill

So we all sat on the carpet and and dimmed the lights and took like 5 minutes for toddler yoga and deep breathing and it was actually great?????? We practiced taking deep breaths and blowing them out (toddlers can't see the difference between breathing in and breathing out, they just hear it, like a lot of times if you show them how to smell a flower they will blow on the flower!!!! So emphasizing the blowing out part helps them figure out the breathing in part) and we patted our heads..... And our shoulders ... Then gave ourselves a big hug!!!! (One little boy who loves hugs was so excited about this part!!) Then I walked them through a basic sensory activity where we felt the carpet with our hands and listened with our ears to see what we could hear and then looked around for what we could see, and then we did deep breathing and stood up together for some stretching and wrapped it up

And it was so helpful??? It really helped reset the mood in the classroom, it was amazing

AND THEN, later in the day, when my tiny child was full of rage when her classmate grabbed a toy, I said 'take a deep breath!!!'

AND SHE DID

SHE STOPPED RIGHT THERE ALL FULL OF RAGE AND TOOK THE TINIEST ANGRIEST MOST ADORABLE BIG BREATH IVE EVER SEEN AND IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER!!!!!!!!

[marryinred]

A fresh wave of panic began to simmer in the pit of Lydia’s stomach. This was not good.

Part of their original binding contract stated that Lydia was, quite literally, Betelgeuse’s anchor to the realm of the living. Where she would go, he would go, and vice versa. In the time they’d been together, they’d never tested the boundaries and limits of the invisible leash, and now Lydia was desperately wishing they had. 

With a quick, chilly kiss to Lydia’s cheek, Byron was quickly rushed out the door with her father. She remained standing there in the living room, anxiety rolling through her like an oncoming storm as she stared at the closed door. Letting out a deep exhale, she turned and walked past the kitchen. Delia was still busying herself with straightening up after breakfast, so she decided to use that moment to dart back upstairs to the sanctuary of her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. 

Lydia began to pace back and forth, her long black skirt swishing as she would turn direction. She was confident in Betelgeuse’s immense power, but what would happen if he wandered too far away from her? Would the leash function like a Netherworld version of an ankle monitor? Would the Powers That Be assume he was breaking the contract and wreaking havoc upon the world? Or would he be automatically teleported to her side? 

A gentle knock at her bedroom door interrupted Lydia’s chaotic thoughts.

“C-come in!” She called out, trying to keep her voice level. The door opened to reveal Barbara, smiling, but with a slight apologetic expression. The curly-haired woman slipped inside, leaving the door open just a crack. Lydia straightened, giving her a small smile she hoped would pass as friendly and not anxious.

“Hey, honey,” Barbara began, her voice soft and gentle as she spoke. “I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.” The ghostly woman fiddled with her fingers, having nothing to do with her hands. “It was just…shocking, you know, to find out you’d told your new boyfriend–”

“Byron,” Lydia interjected.  “His name is Byron.”

Barbara nodded. “Right. It was a surprise that you’d told Byron about us, about…” she waved her hand, gesturing vaguely. “About life after death. Juno was very clear to Adam and I… we can’t let living people know about us. The fact that ghosts are real. It could be dangerous.” Lydia shook her head, coming to stand beside her window. She stared out at the expanse of the town of Winter River down beyond the bridge. God, please hurry up and get back, Beej.

Barbara continued.

“It’s–It’s not that I doubt your judgement, Lydia. I can understand being excited to… share your life, all your secrets, with someone when you get close to them. But I just think…maybe you shouldn’t have told him about us?” After a beat of silence, she continued. “How well do you know him, anyway, Lydia?” At that question, Lydia’s head swiveled back to look at Barbara. 

“I know him better than anyone. And he knows everything about me, too.” Turning now to fully face the ghost woman, Lydia could feel her panic fading into an emotion she rarely let herself express; anger. Lydia had spent the years after her parents’ divorce desperately craving the love and care of a mother and father. While Adam and Barbara were incredibly supportive and loving, they were also almost smothering in their care. What Lydia had thought was comforting in the beginning became overbearing. Through no fault of their own, it was too little, too late.

“What was I supposed to do?” Lydia asked, holding her hands out towards Barbara in a questioning manner. Her voice held a bitter edge as she spoke. “Stay here, in Winter River, forever? Never make friends, never have a relationship? Never really share my life with someone because of this big dark secret that hangs over my head? Was I just supposed to lock myself up in the attic? Be the town’s crazy spinster that can see and talk to ghosts?” 

While she was speaking, Lydia waved her hands for emphasis. Barbara shook her head in protest, and opened her mouth to try and explain she never wanted that for the young woman. Two things happened then– the way in which Lydia moved rang a bell of vague familiarity in Barbara’s mind, and while gesturing with her hands, the light from the window glinted off of the ring on Lydia’s left hand. Chocolate eyes narrowed, Barbara stepped forward and gently grasped Lydia’s wrist, bringing her hand into the light for examination.

At first, Lydia was confused, halted in her expression of a few years’ worth of pent up angst. She glanced down to her ring and realization struck her. She could tell by the look on Barbara’s face that it was all slowly clicking into place for her, as well. Although Adam and Barbara had only been around the poltergeist a handful of times, Barbara could easily remember their first meeting. After having dug him out of his grave in the model, he’d thrown himself at her like a man half starved. When he’d wrapped an arm around her shoulders, she’d recoiled in disgust. She remembered casting a glance to his hand, repulsed by the mold and dirt adorning his fingers. Her attention was drawn, however briefly, to a large gold ring beset with a ruby on his index finger.

An identical ring, although smaller and more feminine, could be found on Lydia’s left hand, where a wedding band would reside. 

It all added up for Barbara now. Byron’s mannerisms, the cadence of his voice, the thinly-veiled contempt in his eyes when he looked at her…

Lydia felt her face drain of all color–how could she have been so forgetful? She’d always kept the ring covered with little lace or velvet gloves, passing it off as another addition to her eccentric style. She’d grown so used to allowing the world to see, openly referring to Betelgeuse as her husband, that she’d forgotten to keep up the guise when she returned to Winter River.

Time seemed to slow down, and silence between the two women seemed to stretch on for eons, before they both began to speak at once. Barbara’s voice was shrill in her concern for the girl, her eyes wide and full of panic. 

“Lydia, what have you done? Did he trick you into this? We’ve got to tell your parents! Adam and I, we can go to Juno, we can get him taken care of for good–”

“Please, please don’t tell my dad and Delia, I didn’t want you all to find out like this–”

Lydia was panicking, and in her mind she was screaming.

This is bad. Please, hurry back, Beej! Hurry!

The panic that was tightening in her chest began to subside the very moment Betelgeuse embraced her.  Lydia closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as he placed a gentle kiss against the top of her head. She gazed adoringly at him as he gave Barbara what-for, and she couldn’t help the faint smile that began to play at the corners of her mouth.

God, I love him, she thought to herself.  

Barbara, however, stood completely still, her chocolate brown eyes wide as dinner plates. Adam, too, was shocked, his jaw gone slack in awe at how this complete stranger was speaking to them as if he knew them. 

But he was passionately defending Lydia, and wouldn’t he do the very same for Barbara? Adam took note of the man’s gentle nature as he silently comforted Lydia, and how the young woman completely melted into his arms. He saw how Byron’s hand gripped Lydia’s shoulder–soft, yet with an undertone of possessiveness. As a man, he read the body language easily. It screamed “She’s mine, and you’re hurting her. This is a warning.”

Byron’s spiel ended as Charles appeared in the doorway, blissfully ignorant of what had just transpired between everyone. There was a moment of terribly awkward silence as they just stood there, not knowing how to react. 

“Oh! Uhm! I changed my mind!” Delia called out, her voice cracking a bit. She immediately started bringing out skillets and placing them on top of the stove. “How does sausage, eggs, and bacon sound? Hm? Want some toast as well? There’s orange juice in the refrigerator!” 

Lydia smiled inwardly and gave her dad a good morning kiss on the cheek. She lead Byron into the living room to sit for a bit, just so she could decompress after what had just happened. Barbara’s eyes followed them all the while, until Charles and Adam began exchanging pleasantries. 

“Thank you,” Lydia whispered, her hand finding Betelgeuse’s and giving it a tight squeeze. 

[mellotronmkll]

Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared

[vaguely-concerned]

I really can't say enough good things about the expression work they did with rook in this scene, the way you can see it all dawn for them and all the little nuances along the way. I've had some trouble at points to get rye's more distinct features to play nice with whatever the facial animation setup is (still always tweaking. every day in every way we get closer and closer etc., getting the mouth to move just right is such a struggle for many scenes lol), but in this it really worked out. perfectly. yeah, that is exactly how he would emote and I would DIE for him. just. look at him. his hard tight little mouth like a child furiously holding back tears. the shifts between vulnerability and anger, the swell of fury rising through that angry option. the way you can see his eyes go wide at hearing the companion's voices and how he immediately realizes that joining them means leaving varric behind. the warring emotions at 'you're not alone' -- confusion, wanting to protest, knowing varric is right but maybe not quite how yet. so much of the arc I'd envisioned for Rye going in hinged on this scene, and I'm so glad that when I got there it worked out so well. yeah. that's how it happened.

(I also like that you can see how tough it is for varric to be faced with 'I can't do this alone' and having to let rook down, in a way. it's the one time he glances away from rook not contemplatively but reflexively. looking up at the path they're going to have to walk -- without him. having to send them off with nothing but words and hope and your faith in them, because you can't be there with them anymore. and he only lets himself look sad when rook turns their back to him for a moment. the parent feelings in that. ouch aou aough I'm. fhsdjkfhas. ow. considering how little time rook and (plausibly real) varric actually spend on screen together, they really pack the animation so full of information and meaning when you look closely.)

also a true blink and you miss it moment but uh

yeah. sure solas wants to be a hero deep down. sure he deserves a second -- third?? fucking millionth????? -- chance to redeem himself. and I'll totally be the person to give it to him. don't you worry about it varric. you just rest now. I'll be taking it from here fhdsakj

extra heartbreak detail for the road: when varric tells rook not to get misty-eyed on him...

it's because they are actually visibly tearing up. so fuck me I guess

(also I know I'm always saying this lol allow me my broken record moment, but big shoutout to Jeff Berg for his voice acting as American masc Rook, this performance really has become so incredibly dear to me so quickly)

[sydmarch]

it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy