#i died like a 100 times to her. i'll fucking take it

[kimberlyannharts]

At this point Power Rangers has done a few crossover comics, and they've all been some pretty logical and big name choices - the Justice League, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Godzilla. So today's crossover comic is one that definitely took people by surprise - Usagi Yojimbo, the long-running story of a wandering rōnin having adventures in feudal Japan (who also happens to be a bunny rabbit), written and illustrated by Stan Sakai since 1984. While an icon in his own right - funnily enough, he's a regular guest in TMNT properties - I don't think ANYONE really had HIM in mind as a contender for a crossover with Power Rangers compared to more conventional properties like Transformers or even My Little Pony.

After all, what do they know about samurai in Power Rangers?

It's Mighty Morphin Power Rangers/Usagi Yojimbo!

= So I know I've gone on and on about Shawn Daley's art but I really just need you to look at them again. It just makes me so happy to see a more stylized take on the MMPRs - basically if you took Daniele di Nicuolo's art and ramped up the anime influence by 100. It gives the book that much extra charm

= who the hell is THIS I'm here for the FURRIES not another random boring human!!!!!! it's like I'm playing Animal Crossing

= Jason's attitude in this book annoys me but at the same time it wouldn't be a Ryan book if he wasn't writing Jason in a way that annoys me.

= (also, they knew about the Morphin Masters this early in their Ranger career? I guess Zordon did mention them in an early episode, but.........what have they done that's similar to this that Jason would know about kjkjdkf

= I still think it's very weird that they didn't give the whole "maybe it would be easier if I was fighting alone" to uh.....you know.....Tommy, the loner? Who's so used to fighting alone that he struggled to adjust to a team? But I guess he has a girlfriend and Jason doesn't so.

= Is this a safe space. because the rabbit is pretty hot.

= HAHAHAAAA TOKEN EVIL HUMAN I KNEW IT

= YFIP: THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS - assisting the villain, thievery of a powerful artifact, assault against civilians, racism against furries

= Like I've said before Jason's characterization here irritates me a bit but I'll give the book props that someone's actually allowed to call him out on it for once. Like man I wish Tommy in the main series was allowed to tell Jason to shut up once in a while like Usagi does here

= Kim: Tommy, it's 4 pm! Time to go help our friends!

Tommy: yes honey

= Wow, look at these guys! They're like......Shogun Rangers! ............wait a minute

= But seriously, though, I gotta say these are one of the best alternate MMPR designs we've gotten in ages - I LOVE how they apply all of MMPR's little details into each individual user. And the altered weapons are awesome, too. Between these and the Kaiju Rangers we've really been cooking with the alternate forms lately

= And as I said, they did manage to resist the urge to give Usagi a Ranger form. I did like my old "maybe he'll find a Samuraizer" idea, though

= They both nearly died via crystal explosion a few hours ago but all they care about is their cool new outfits, just otp things <3

= I was about to say "well yeah, duh, that's why the Dragonzord doesn't have wings" but then I remembered. oh yeah. technically the Zords aren't Japanese in origin in-universe, are they

= It's nice to see Dragonzord Battle Mode! That was a form that didn't get a lot of spotlight in the comics - I think the only time we really saw it in the main series was Shattered Grid, and not for very long before it got destroyed by Serpentera

= Kim and Usagi only get one real onscreen exchange but she also catches him in the Pterodactyl and they have matching bangs. I'll take this as a win, though Splinter is still her #1 rodent dad

= they are so fucking sad

= I think future books should bring Usagi back or just crossover with him again with no explanation. Make people think he's a PR character just like how people assume he's a TMNT character

[jessiesjaded]

I think Tigs has dislocated (Hopefully nothing more than that, knock on wood) his shoulder and boy is my mother always a joy when it comes to these things

[carmenized-onions]

Do the Thing! | Toilet Repair

logline; Today's itinerary: Fix the toilet, catch up with Syd, try not to cry when everyone asks you where you've been.

series history; Previous Chapter

portion; 7.1k+ (this shit got away from me man, idk what to say)

possible allergies; Negative self-talk (It's the Bear, babe, everyone's sad). I did no research on plumbing and am truly making it the fuck up-- I know for a fact I'm not using any word correctly and I simply will not be fixing it. Reader eats meat!! Specifically pork!! Your 'name' is 100% just Tony now.

pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader (No pronouns, but 'handywoman' and 'Miss' are said. Plus a chest reference).

you ever start writing and you just cannot seem to find an end so you keep going forever? yeah.

“I think my name is just Tony now.”

You sip your overpriced orange juice. You really have to fucking savour it, now a days. That’s like 25 cents a sip, and Syd’s treating you to this breakfast outing, so it’s not even your own wallet on the line here.

“You lose all sense of identity, in a restaurant.” Syd straightens her back, mocking her very own mechanical movements of whenever she steps in a kitchen. “I am Chef.”

This diner isn’t more than two blocks down from The Bear. It was probably your second favourite spot in this neighbourhood. Probably still is. Sitting in the back corner booth (your favourite) with Syd is nice but distracting. She’s been updating you on everything since the catering scene and her botched credit, and you’re absorbing all of it, you swear, it’s just hard to not remember why this was your favourite booth.

Not because it’s seats are the least worn in, not because it’s got the right amount of sun through the window without blinding you, but because of the company you kept here. You’re trying to not notice your own name carved into the table. Especially since it’s not your handiwork.

You laugh at Syd’s joke on time, thank God. No awkward pause. “Yeah, you fuckin’ are. Head, right?”

She nods. “It’s cool. It’s like, vomit-worthy stressful but also…”

“You wish you were dead when you’re there, but you’d rather be dead than do anything else?”

“Yessir.” She nods again, digging further into her pancakes. “I really fucking owe you, by the way.”

“You’re paying me off through breakfast.” You wave her off. “Plus, I was available and it was like maaayybe 5 minutes of manual labour, it’s nothing.”

“Y’know what?” She hums, “I think actually, you owe me.”

“Yeah?” You grin.” Please, let me clear my debts, Syd?”

She smiles, pointing her fork at you. “You owe me the fuckin’ Beef background I’ve apparently not unlocked. Everyone was talking about you after.”

“Good things?”

“Vague things. Shit made me even more curious.”

You laugh. No shit they’d be vague. What can they say? “When my dad was running the repairmen gig, Cicero or Fak would call him in—”

“Oh fuck.” She snaps her fingers, seemingly in realization. “Your dad’s the connection!”

“The connection?”

“Fak said he had a connection for our fire safety test shit, and then said he didn’t—”

“Ah.” You nod knowingly. “Dad cut the cord on his business phone when it transferred to me, didn’t really keep people updated. Whoops.”

She nods, taking another bite of her pancakes, speaking mid-chew. “You could’ve saved our asses way faster, and I’ll-I'll never forgive you, but continue.”

Snickering, you continue, “Well, they’d call my dad in, and then my dad would call me in as his like, like his fuckin’ Sous of Repairs. And shit broke all the time at the Beef, as I’m sure you’re well aware, so I hung out around Mikey and everyone a lot.”

“Ah. N’ then…”

“He fuckin’ died.” You laugh, because there’s no way to say it smooth, so you might as well say it bad. You stretch out your arms and lean back in the booth. “I kinda took a step back, after that, so we didn’t manage to crossover ‘til now. S’ironic that you’re the one that brought me back instead of an oldie, honestly.”

She desperately wants to ask more about Mike, but she can tell now is not the time, so she just lets it lie and moves on. “You stopped being an EMT to take up the handyman shit, then?”

“Yessir.” You nod, finishing your straggling home fries. “Just kinda made sense to trade off, and I didn’t want to see the family bizz die. Do I have to occasionally pick up shifts bartending to make rent during slow months? Yes. But I also don’t watch people die anymore, so that’s a win.”

“In a way, you’re watching people die still, just slowly.”

You bite down hard to stifle any semblance of a smile or laughter, deadpanning, just to see her squirm in awkwardness for a moment. It works with flying colours, of course it does. It’s Syd. She’s still Syd. You speak at the same time.

“Cause of the alcohol?” “Cause—Cause of the alcohol.”

You both break into laughter, she throws her napkin at you. “Can’t stand you, oh my god. Let’s go clock in.”

She pays your bill before you can try to sneak your card in, which feels all too familiar, and you’re off.

Off to fix an exploded toilet.

“How the fuck do you fix an exploded toilet?”

Your hands rub over your face, lifting your safety goggles for a second. Too fucking foggy. Too fucking sweaty. Plumbing never really was your biggest strength. You’re staring at the bane of your existence, and it’s the latrine. How far we fall.

“You good, Cousin?” You hear from behind. You don’t need to turn to know it’s Richie in the doorway. It’s a fair question, you’re sitting criss-cross in front of a toilet, head in hands.

“Yeah, Cousin, I’m good.” Your words are muffled by your hands. Fully not cousins. For the record. You would argue you're not even that close, but he'd slap you upside the head. You turn to look at him over your shoulder. “Can you like, get me a pen and note pad? I need to like, strategize an attack.”

“It’s not that bad, Cousin—” “It’s that bad.” “Just tape the—” “Fuck off with the tape!”

You click your teeth, staring at the gurgling porcelain before you— At least it’s clean, it’s just fucked. “I shut the valve and it didn’t do shit. I think I have to remove it entirely so I can see what’s going on with the underground pipe.”

“Heard.” Richie and you both know that his hotfix handiwork has absolutely contributed to this penultimate mess you’re in now, but you’re both letting that go quietly for now. “You charge by hour or service?”

“Service flat rate and then after two hours it’s by hour.”

He hums, knocking his fist on the doorway a few times before walking away. “Pen and pad, Chef.”

“Not a Chef!”

“Term of Respect, Chef!”

You tap your leg incessantly, groaning like you’ve got an 80-year-old body as you stand to your feet. Richie’s grown a lot. He wears suits now. Hasn’t even poked at you for vanishing. Though you have a feeling it’s coming. If not from him, from someone.

You step out into the hall, leaned against the wall with your arms crossed as you wait for your pen and pad. And now you just have more time and a better view to take in how much has changed.

Gutted. A few walls gone. Makes sense, you told Mikey he was getting a mold problem. He never listened. Seats are new. The booths are the all-around style ones now. Ritzy. It’s too good for this neighbourhood. Is that a good thing? Yeah, right? Despite the fact that The Bear should feel out of place, you feel out of place being in it. Could you afford to eat here? Could the people who work here afford to eat here? Syd said she’s not getting paid for the next few months, so at the very least, the Head Chef can’t.

“Strange?” Tina sidles up to you on the wall, wiping her hands on her apron. Completely knocking you out of your dissociative fugue state.

“Yeah.” You nod, a little too quickly, that felt judgey, you correct, uncrossing your arms. “It’s daunting, I think; to see it all at once rather than slowly built in. Like, I know objectively this is very cool, but—”

Tina hums with understanding. “Feels gutted?”

“Was gutted.” You nod. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like it, it’s just, I dunno. Adjustment period, all that.”

“I needed a second too, but Jeff is good. Change has been good.” You nod like you know who Jeff is. “Carmen, I mean.” Your nod is now significantly more understanding. She smiles, you’re a little surprised to see Tina’s got a lot more insight than she used to. She pulled the thought of Carmen right out of your subconscious before you even detected it for yourself. “He’s good. You’ll see.”

You nod. You know the good she means is not Michelin Star Good. You already know that. He’s Mikey good. Person good. You clear your throat. “How’s Louis?”

“Good. Y’know, he’s getting to that age, getting in trouble. S’been a while since he’s had a good influence.” She nudges you. There it is. There’s the poke. The ‘where have you been?’ The ‘it’s been a year’. The— “Y’know, Chef didn’t come to the funeral neither.”

That one you didn’t expect, your head swivels to her hard. “Carmen didn’t go?”

His brother didn’t go? Oh, who the fuck are you to judge...

She nods, practically with her whole body, she looks more amused than anything. But like, mom amused. The worst amused. “You’re both the sensitive type.”

You cock your head at her, raising a brow. Smirking slightly. “Wow, Tina, I thought you changed too but you still talk your shit, eh?”

“I’m not talking shit!” She laughs, hands up in defence. “I’m just saying, you’re alike.” You hope that the laughter makes her forget the topic but it doesn’t.

“Where have you been?” She softens. She’s not asking to be mean, she’s asking out of concern. Why does that make it feel worse?

You tuck your hands in your pockets and retrain your eyes on hers, even if it feels bad. “Thought time and distance would heal all wounds.”

“Did they?”

Before you can answer, “Pen delivery, cousin!” Richie returns, triumphantly, with a pen and pad held high in the sky. He makes you jump for it. You elbow him in the gut, not hard. “Fuck off, Rich…” He keels over enough for you to grab it. “Thank you, chef.”

You turn back to Tina, who you now realize has spent half her smoke break on you. She nods to you, and then the bathroom door. “I’ll let you get back to it.” You nod in return. When she turns to walk away, you grab her shoulder.

“Tina.” She turns again. You should say something. Something vulnerable and thankful. Words of affirmation are not your thing. But maybe they could be, “If you end up with a dead plate—” Or maybe not.

She grins, and part of you is concerned by this, but she waves you off, giggling like she knows something you don’t. Already walking off. “You’re gonna be taken care of, Terry, don’t worry.”

This is a bad new nickname scheme. The fridge guy is just gonna end up being called ‘fridge guy’ if you take all his names.

It’s maybe three hours later. 11 am ish. You’ve finally put the toilet back in place, the pipes fixed underground— Which is a huge win of progress, the problem is, it’s just seemed to open the toilet’s ability to have other problems that need to be addressed. There’s a strong chance you’ll be here until you die. And even after that, this stupid toilet will still be gurgling, outliving you.

But you seriously have to eat something, so you scrub yourself clean, set your safety equipment down, and head out of the bathroom for a much-needed stretch of the legs— And to hopefully get a plate from Tina.

On your way to the kitchen, you’re stopped and walked backwards to a booth in the corner by Richie. “Hey, Miss, happy to serve you today, my name’s Richard but you can call me Richie, how’re you doin’ this fine morning?”

They’ve yet to open front of house, so you play along, taking your seat with a laugh. “I’m doing perfect, Richie, how are you?”

He nudges the air . “Ey, better now that you’re here, ah? Can I get a drink started for you?”

“Really gonna practice your set on me?”

He shrugs, still smiling. “If you don’t use it, you lose it.”

You hum, then rub your temples, the headache is setting in— Not cause of him, just been a tough morning. “Just your coldest fuckin’ glass of water, Rich.”

“Right away, Cousin.” He slips off into the kitchen.

When the door swings open again, it’s not Richie coming with your ice water, but Carmen— It’s your first time seeing him since the walk-in. When you came in this morning with Syd, it was Nat that gave you the quick briefing on the schedule and goals for today.

“Tony.” He hums, corners of his mouth just slightly upturned. The nickname has stuck. Goddamn. He sets the water down in front of you, along with a plate— Covered by a cloche—Or the silver lid thing, whatever.

“Carmy.” You only mean to mimic his tone, but then cringe. “Is Carmy fine?”

He pauses mid slide into the booth, sitting across from you. He seemed all cool and collected and is now suddenly extremely caught off guard. Already sweaty. “Y-yeah, I’m better, thank you—”

“No, I meant—” It is so difficult to hold back laughter. You deserve an Oscar.

You’re not doing great to be fair but like, still, Oscar worthy attempt.

“I meant like, like is the nickname okay?”

The horrors just keep piling on his face, and you can’t help but feel guilty. No shit he feels like he’s starting on a lower playing field here. You knew his dead brother, you know his Head Chef, your first time meeting him was at quite possibly his lowest moment and biggest mistake— Of which you had to coax him out of, and now he’s misunderstanding every innocent question you have for a inquiry into his psyche.

He clears his throat for objectively too long of a time. “Carmy is fine. Tony is fine?”

“I’m doing okay, yeah.”

Thank God, he laughs, awkward sure but objectively amused.

You nod down to the covered plate, smiling, “Fuck is this?”

He leans forward in his seat to get a hand over the lid. “I, uh. Made you a thing. As thanks or like, an— an apology.”

Ah. That’s why Tina was laughing about you getting taken care of.

He lifts the lid, and what is revealed, if you weren’t careful, would be enough to make you cry. Thankfully, the shock registers as uproarious laughter, one that Carmen cannot help but join.

“What the fuck?”

Pork brisket sandwich. Something that Mikey made for you, specifically. Because you said one time you were more of a pork fan than beef and he absolutely lost it. In a cute way, though. Said ‘Oh, I’ll make you fuckin’ pork, alright?’ You’re not sure if he won or lost the argument, because you did find it better.

“I, uh, we had some cuts left over that we weren’t gonna be able to fuckin’ use, and uh, Tina showed me this, this recipe card, last night.” He slides over the very same brisket recipe Mikey had written down. Little doodles of angry faces and Xs over pigs in the margins.

“He was so fuckin’ mad.” You snort, looking at it. “All I fuckin’ said was I had a preference!”

“In The Beef!”

“He asked!” You quickly defend, through laughter. “And it tastes fucking good. All he did was prove my fuckin’ point— And spent hours doing it. Were you here overnight for this, slowcooking?”

He shakes his head, though there’s a hesitation in it— So you’re not privy to completely believe him. He sniffs, swiping at his nose “I, uh, just came in early. Had to fix some shit anyways.”

He’s staring at the sandwich, then occasionally you, expectantly. You look at him with equal expectance.

“Well?” You start.

“Well?” He astutely adds.

You nod down at the dish. “Do the thing.”

“The thing?”

You pick up one half of the sandwich, but you’ve got no plans of eating until he satisfies this craving first.

“The thing Syd does where she explains why she’s proud of her dish and why I should care. I know it’s Mikey’s, but you clearly made changes.”

“Oh. Uh…” He was both expecting and not expecting this soap box. “So, followed the rub to a T— Well, with a salt bed, this time. Put it on brioche instead of the old shit. And I uh, added uhm—” He snaps his fingers, staring at the sandwich in your hand. “Added pickled red onion, for acid and sweet, and garlic confit. I’m—I’m happy with my spin on it.”

You whistle as a form of praise, he flushes with a glow of pride and is desperately trying to not show it. He’s proud because it’s curated, personal. Ah, he is Mikey good. You nod and take a bite, trying to control your reaction. Worst part about having Artists as friends (especially chefs): They fucking stare so hard when you’re taking in their work. And they’re over analyzing every micro expression. He’s no different.

Fuck. It’s fucking good. Is it bad that it’s better than anything Mikey ever made? Nah, that’s how he’d want it.

“Ah fuck, that sucks—” Is the first thing you say, and his face falls, “Expensive food is worth it.” Right back up. Easy to please. “It’s really good, Chef. Thank you. Did you try it yet?”

He shakes his head, so you push the plate with the other half of the sandwich— It’s brisket, anyways. You’ll be full by the end of this one. Portions generous. He looks momentarily hesitant, which is cute, but inevitably leans forward and takes the sandwich. He nods with each chew.

He hums when he finishes chewing, pointing emphatically at you, though his voice is neutral. “You don’t like something, though.”

“What?”

“What’s wrong with it?” He stares at into the cross section of his bite. “Chewy? Texture?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” You’re quick to deny.

He shakes his head, hand over his mouth to hide the sauce on his mouth. “M’not gonna be hurt.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the dish, Carmen.” You take another bite to prove your point. Also you’re hungry. Two things can be true.

He zones in on the emphasis immediately. “It’s the plate, isn’t it? I told Syd—”

“Your tables aren’t bolted.” You interrupt, swiftly. Mouth semi-full.

“Huh?”

You put your sandwich down and swallow, taking your time with it. “Your booth tables.”

You knock on the pristine wood with the joints of your left hand. You swivel your body to look under the table, he follows suit, meeting you there. His left leg has been violently shaking, but he’s thought you wouldn’t notice it until now.

You put a hand on his knee to stop the shaking. He bristles, slightly, but you’re not even doing it on purpose. Your focus isn’t on him. It was making the table imperceptibly shift— Which, of course, you clocked. You tap your foot to the bottom of the table leg. No screws. “They aren’t bolted down.”

You lift yourself back up, moving your hand back to yourself in tandem. He stares at it for a little longer. How you noticed that, he will never know. Repairmen are a different breed…

“I just thought it was a weird choice. Nothing wrong with it, per say. Maybe you wanna test different layouts.” You shrug, taking another bite.

“The booths aren’t bolted either.” He adds, lifting his head up above the table, finally. “I don’t— we’re not gonna fuck with the layout, I don’t think.”

“Should get Fak on that, then.”

“Fak’s big-timing us.” You cock your brow, mid chew. He explains. “He’s focusing on hosting, f'now.”

You nod, swallowing, hand in front of your mouth so you can lick the sauce off your upper lip in non-humiliated peace. “This another job for me, then?”

“If you’ll take it.”

“If your fuckin’ toilet doesn’t kill me, I will.”

“How’s that going?”

You shake your hand so-so. “Ask me in two to three hours how it’s going.”

“Heard.” He sighs, leaning back in the booth. The stress is too apparent not to ask.

“How’s the second day open going?”

“I’m not in a fuckin’ freezer, so that’s a win.” Oh-ho, he’s acknowledging it. You were very comfortable forgetting that moment for his sake. “Thanks, uh, f’ that.”

You shake your head, shrugging off the thanks. You lift your last few bites of the sandwich to him. “You’re good. You’ve gifted me brisket. You relax since?”

“Not really.” He replies bluntly, taking a deep inhale. He pulls at his face from the top down, with both hands. Oof. Bad sign. “I think I’ll be good by tomorrow. Gonna get off early, tonight.”

“You don’t seem happy about that.”

“Ask me in two t’ three days if I’m happy about it.”

Back to work and this is taking so much fucking longer than it needs to take. Why is there tape there? Fucking Richie. Fucking Fak. Fucking Mikey. Godssake. Pipes are fixed. Water pressure is fixed. What the fuck is still wrong with it? What the fuck is wrong with you? Everyone is going to hate you if you can’t fix this. You’ve been here for like 5 hours and you can’t figure out what’s fucking wrong here? You’re nothing. You’re—

The toilet does you the favour of knocking you out of your episode by spraying you in the fucking face, soaking through the top of your jumpsuit. With a groan, you unzip the upper half and tie the wet sleeves around your waist. “Son-of-a-bitch.”

Maybe you just need a change in task for a second. Also, a new t-shirt, because your tank did not survive the waterworks either. This room isn’t the thing you need right now. You slip down the hall to the kitchen. “Who needs a coffee? Or water?”

There’s a chorus of orders, all of which sound like you’ve just asked ‘who wants a gift from God?’, which, you might as well have. This is what you like about being a handyman. The relief you bring. You just need a smidge of praise to get through the rest of this job. You’ve got this.

The small, but serviceable coffee machine in very back of the kitchen calls your name, but Richie sticks his arm out, blocking you from walking past expo up front.

“Hol’ up, Cousin, you look like a fuckin’ wet dog.”

“Well, what ‘ya gonna do about it?” You retort, despite the retort not honestly making any sense, you put your hands on your hips. “Do you want a fuckin’ coffee or not?”

He rolls his eyes, falling back onto the balls of his feet before walking off. “Ey, Sug, are those shirts still in the basement—”

You’ve won for now. You scrub your hands clean before getting to work. This is good. Oooh, Marcus has fresh coffee beans (that he’s willing to share!)— This is easy. You can already fix most broken things, but a machine that actually fucking works? Baby, you can make that sing.

Plus, the bartending gigs you’ve done don’t make you a barista by any means, but they certainly don’t hurt. Oooh, Marcus has syrups! Fuck it. Steamed and frothed milk. That toilet has you on your ass, you need to go above and beyond here. Make each cup personal. You need a win in the form of admiration.

You gather a tray of coffees (and a water for Sweeps, who is too fucking sweaty for a hot drink right now, so fair), all varying in milks, sugars, syrups, intensity. “Coffee run, I hand ‘em out, don’t just take! Corner!”

Ebra, to no one’s shock, likes his coffee black— But, and he’ll tell no one this, you just know it on instinct— He likes it a little too watery. “Good.” Who are you to judge? He likes what he likes.

Tina would take hers black for simplicity, if you let her, but of course you don’t. 2 sugars, foamed milk, chocolate and cinnamon syrup. “Too good to me.” It’s too worth it, when she says it like that and slaps your cheek. Balm of the soul.

Marcus, who watched you make these, did opt to let his imagination run too wild and added one of every syrup to his own cup, wanting to experiment with you. It doesn’t taste good. You switch it for a spiced coffee when he’s not looking. He’s silently very thankful.

After handing out a few more to the new cooks, you come up to Syd. “Take this one, take this one.” Then whisper, so no one knows you are displaying supreme favouritism. “It’s the one oat milk latte I made.”

She turns to you from her station, then darts looks over her shoulder like she’s making an under the table deal before grabbing it from you. She takes a delighted sip, eyes rolling just slightly in the relief of caffeine, she nods. “Fire, Chef.” Ah. This will get you through the day alone.

It also gets you through the willpower it takes to ignore Fak running by you to steal a coffee off your tray. Out of the corner of your eye, you point to the one meant for him— As if you didn’t make it for him, c’mon…

“How’s bathroom?” Syd asks, taking another long sip.

I’m going to fucking explode, not unlike your drainage pipe. “Needed a thinking break, but I’ve made a lot of progress. How’s kitchen?”

“Made a lot of progress. Auto-piloting through this prep.” She looks down at her cutting board, cracking back to it. “Latte helps, a lot, thank you. You should join for family, if you’re still here for it. Unless you don’t want more brisket.”

Fuck. She doesn’t think you’re so slow that you’re gonna be here until family, does she? “Yeah, maybe.” You look around, three coffees still on the tray. “...Where’s Carmen?”

She grimaces. Uh oh. The tension she glossed over at breakfast is still definitely there. She nods her head to the back door. “Smoke break. Or temper tantrum. I don’t fuckin’ know. Don’t tell him I said that.” You laugh, nodding. “You think a coffee would help—” “Please.”

“Corner!” Yells Richie, returning to you. He silently flicks out a shirt for you, holding it up proudly, ‘THE BERF’ stares back at you. You give it a solid five seconds to process before you say anything.

“Collector’s item...” You nod, tone sarcastically impressed. You pivot your shoulder for him to throw it over, hands too busy.

“That’s what I fuckin’ said!” He throws it over your shoulder. “No one fuckin’ listens, these days.”

You bite back laughter and nod, handing him his coffee. Hot. Dark. Two sugars. And, to his delighted surprise, a touch of cinnamon syrup. “Oh, fuck, missed your twists, Chip.”

You wince at what was a long-forgotten nickname, and so does Richie. Funny how remembering origins can do that to you. He’d just said it so instinctively, really. “My bad—”

“Chip is good.” You interrupt, rolling your shoulders back. And it is good, really. “It’s kinda—It’s kinda comforting.” It’s nice to not forget. He nods, and you give each other the ‘we are still so fucked, eh?’ smile before lovingly bumping shoulders as he returns to expo and you head to the back alley.

Carmen’s squatting, cigarette in one hand, creating a halo of smoke around him, and his phone in the other. He snaps out of his mental fog when the door opens, slipping his phone into the pocket of his apron like he’s got a secret to hide.

You hesitate at the doorway, maybe this is not the moment. “Sorry, Chef, I just wanted to offer a coffee? If you need air alone—”

“No, no, I’m good—” He’s quick to correct, then even quicker to correct himself. “I— I’ll take a coffee, I mean. You can stay, s’fine.”

He reaches for it when you sit next to him, but you pull the tray back to hand him the correct one. “Sorry, I—I like, did a thing, for yours. I dunno how you take your coffee, so I thought I’d do it weird.”

He takes the cup, eying it curiously. “Do it weird?”

“Do it like, like a Chef. Can’t make anything fuckin’ simple. The lot of you.”

He hums, amused, staring at the cup, then looks at you expectantly. “Well?”

“Well?”

“Do the thing.”

You snort, shaking your head. “Oh, fuck off.”

“C’mon, tell me why I should care.” He teases.

“Ah, fuck.” You sniff, oh to have your own words turned on you. Looking at the coffee in his hands, “I figured you’d like strong black coffee, but like, complex. So, it’s got like, cardamom and lavender n’ maple syrup. Shout out Marcus.” He smiles. “And then, I know I did just say black coffee but I wanted the aesthetic so I spooned foamed milk on top and sprinkled on some dried lavender.” You take your own cup in hand, putting the tray down. “If you hate it, we’ll trade.”

He pays close attention to your explanation. Man, his eye contact is simultaneously so soft and so scary. He takes a sip. Let’s it sit in his mouth for a second. “Excellent, Chef.”

Oh, if Syd’s ‘Fire’ could get you through the day, Carmen’s ‘Excellent’ will get you through the week to spare. You hide the way you beam by drinking your own coffee.

“How’re you doing?” It’s far too obvious that he’s had something heavy on his head all day, but you’re not going to say the quiet part loud, yet.

He takes a long time to respond. “I, uh…” And when he does, it’s weak. “I’m alright, yeah. I’m alright.”

You nod repeatedly, digesting the huge lie. “Ask me how I’m doing.”

He squints. “…How’re you—”

“Fuckin’ terrible, Carm.” You cut him off, putting your cup down next to him, standing up. You speak emphatically, gesturing with your whole body.

“I’m at my wits, Chef. Completely out of my depth. I fix the main pipe, I fix the water pressure, I triple check the tank, I fuckin’ power cycle the valve— I’m absolutely at a loss as to why it’s still gurgling— Why it shot water straight at my tits— Close your eyes, if you care, by the way.”

With barely any warning you peel off your tank top, you’ve got a bra, it’s fine. It’s very cute that he still looks away. You slip the new shirt over your head as you speak, muffling the words.

“—I’m wearing a shirt that says Berf, and the only way I can feel any semblance of not being utterly useless is by making coffees so good everyone has to praise me for them. And now I’m telling the fucking owner, my boss for the day all this.”

He nods, slowly. There is perhaps, not a single person in his life that has ever been this forthright. Someone he hasn’t had to over-analyze or dig into to figure out what’s actually going on. It is refreshing, terrifying, and for some reason, removing your walls have completely shattered his.

“So.” You lower your head to his level where he sits. “How are you doing, Chef?”

He takes a long sip of his coffee. Stews on the question before he spills his guts, calmly. “I’m sitting outside of the restaurant I started that I own, and my brother should be here, but he’s not and— And I was locked in a fuckin’ freezer on my opening night, which was my own fuckin’ fault— And the tape is wrong and the painting is stupid and that new hire did meth so now we’re down one.” He takes a deep breath.

“And we have Heinz instead of Frenchies, and it’s fine. That’s the fucked part— It’s fine. The ship did not sink without me— It went fine. Better, maybe. My problems aren’t fuckin’ problems. I’m just making it worse for myself— everyone. And I know Syd is mad at me, and I know my— My girlfriend? Is mad at me, and I know that I’m gonna break up with her tonight because I’m not meant to be— that.” He says the last part fast, more to himself than you, really. And then he finally looks back up at you.

“And I’m telling all of this to the person who saved me from hypothermia and a fuckin’—Fuckin’ meltdown, who probably thinks— knows that I’m a psycho.”

You take a beat before nodding, sitting next to him again, arms crossed. Silent. Contemplative. “I have thoughts.”

He nods, taking a drag. “Don’t pull punches.”

“Well, to start most honestly, we must remember, I love Syd. So, I’m not gonna mince about her.”

“Heard.”

You recall everything Sydney had told you at breakfast. The recap of how she got to this point. “Syd isn’t mad at you, she’s disappointed and distrustful.”

He grimaces. “That sounds worse.”

“It is.”

“Oh.”

“But in a way you can fix.”

“How?”

“Handle shit different. Actually show up to shit and make calls. Manage your priorities by urgency— Not by favourites. If I broke my fuckin’ arm and your ‘girlfriend’ had a runny nose, who are you taking to the hospital?”

“You can’t take yourself?”

“Bitch?”

“Kidding. Heard. What else?”

“You’re not gonna tell her I said this because she would rather die than tell someone she wants something.” You lean closer to him, peeking over your shoulder to make sure no one’s secretly come from the kitchen. You knock into his knees.

He takes another drag, short, choked. “Sure.”

“You were kind of a bitch about the menu.”

“The chaos menu? She said—”

“She fucking lied. She lied when she said it was fine, Carm, it does not take a psychic to read Syd’s mind.” You interrupt, taking a sip of your coffee. “She was so excited to get to build a menu, especially with—” you, “—a partner, and then you completely ditched her. And then you just made your own! Total control freak shit! Cut her out of the fun part of being head chef completely! You get to invent masterpieces and she picks out the best cheap plate? Fuck is that?”

He nods contemplatively, poking his inner cheek. “Yeah, that, that makes sense. That’s shitty.” He turns his gaze from looking ahead to face you, hand over the bottom half of his face. “What else?”

“You’re reactive.”

“No shit.”

“How long do you think you were locked in the walk-in for?”

He swallows, thinking. “Like… an hour?”

“It had been 23 minutes.”

“Oh.”

“You catastrophize, it’s a fancy therapy word,” You cannot help but be impressed by this white man writing down the word in his phone for later. “It means, basically, when something bad happens you blow it completely out of proportion into something it isn’t. Your opening night was definitely a bummer from being in a freezer— But be honest with yourself, would you have let yourself have a good night if you weren’t in there?”

“…No.”

“No. Which is also bad. Which brings me to my key point.”

He tenses up, preparing for you to rip into him further.

“You’re doing a good job, Carmy.”

He immediately swivels back to you, almost dropping his phone. Knee knocking into yours. “Fuck off.”

“I will not.”

“You just said I was a catastrophe.”

“Fully not what I said.”

“I read between the lines.”

“Carmen.”

You take a breath, putting your arms on your knees, bent over. “The restaurant is beautiful, your cooks are talented and they’re prepared— So prepared that they can handle 23 minutes without you. That’s a good thing. You’re threaded into The Bear— The ship didn’t sink, not because you weren’t there, but because you had been. Everyone had the tools they needed to succeed, even with Heinz, a Mid painting, and torn tape. And listen—” You take one last sip of your coffee. “You need to check your ego if you think you’re the first man I’ve coaxed through a panic attack while doing a repair.”

He laughs, half-heartedly. He scratches his nose. “Heard. Yeah, thank you, Chef.”

“I don’t know shit about the meth thing though, I really couldn’t tell you.” You smile when this coaxes a better laugh out of him. You’re considering a career in stand up exclusively for him because it feels like such a reward to hear it.

“And the girl?” He asks. Amusement tinging but leaving his voice.

You click your teeth, shrugging your shoulders at him. “Based purely on your hesitation to say girlfriend, I’d say yeah, probably not ready for a relationship.” You reach your hand out to his shoulder when he flops his head down. “But, just asking, is this your first relationship?”

He thinks for too long before nodding slightly. “First one.”

“First restaurant too?”

He nods again.

“Yeah.” You pat his shoulder before letting it go, opting to hold your cooling cup. “I know you’re a Michelin star fuckin’ big deal but like, me personally, I can’t name a thing I got perfect the first time I did it.”

There’s something in his eyes, when you say that. Something wistful, nostalgic, hurt? No. Something different.

“It’s not that I didn’t do perfect—”

“You’ll do better next time.”

He wrings his hands together between his knees. “Yeah.”

“You’re gonna be fine, Carm.”

“You’re good at that.” He sniffs, head down, scratching his nose.

“At what? Self-help?”

He exhales what just barely sounds like a laugh. “Kinda. S’just, when you say it, you say it in a way where I actually believe it.”

You’re getting the fuck out of here before they open for dinner. You’re not letting anyone down tonight motherfucker. The Berf shall prevail. Maybe a win here will feel like a win for Carmen, too.

You run the sink to wash your hands, as you’ve done before here— But since fixing the pipes and the pressure… Something’s… different. You pause your scrubbing, listening closely.

…

When the sink is running, the gurgling flow of water from the toilet stops. Huh. You stop and start the faucet a few times to verify this. Yeah. You stare for a long moment before connecting the dots, then punch the sink in realization.

“Fucking Mikey!”

“What’d he do this time?”

You twist around. Ah, other sibling. Natalie. Clipboard in hand, business ready. You take a beat before remembering to smile, nodding to the sink behind you. “He connected the tank flow to the toilet and the sink with one wire.”

She tilts her head, squinting. “Why would he do that?”

“I suspect to save water?” You spin around, kneeling down to look behind the sink. “I think the idea was to have the sink not function when the toilet is flushing. But, it uh, well, did the reverse, kinda. Toilet doesn’t function when the sink isn’t running.”

“Oh.”

“So uh,” You shut the valve under the sink. “Your water bill should go down a little after this, since it won’t be running into what is an essentially a second trap pipe.”

“Oh!” Did she get what you said? No. But she doesn't need to. She heard ‘bill should go down’ and that’s really all she needed. “Thank you!”

“Not a problem. S’my job.” You stand, shutting off the valve to the toilet as well. As you kneel down to work again, you feel her gaze burning into your back. You don’t turn to face her. “You have questions.”

“Oh, ah… Am I so obvious—?”

“Yes.” You’re too quick to answer, unbolting the wires where it attaches to the toilet and the ground. You sniff with a panicked, “Ah, uh, it’s endearing.”

She’s quiet, for a moment. She doesn’t ask you what she actually wants to ask you, and you know that. “Well, I’ll need to exchange info for your invoice.”

“Ah, don’t worry ‘bout that, your brother already covered it.” You stand once more, before going to the sink to undo it’s valve, you fish through the deep pocket of your jumpsuit, pulling out a crumpled business card and handing it to her.

“But it’s good to have my info on hand, for sure. It’s ah… Kinda old.” Kinda is an understatement. Your dad’s name is still on it, scribbled out in pen and replaced with yours. The dead business line is also scribbled out in exchange for your personal cell.

“It’s uh… I usually only work for friends and family, these days, so I’ve kinda stopped trying to keep up appearances.”

She smiles at it. Thank God, she finds it charming and not sloppy. She tucks it into the clasp of her clipboard. “That’s fine, we are friends and family.”

All you can do is nod, pivoting to the sink. There's a beat of peace.

“Didn’t see you at the funeral.”

Ah. There it is. For a Bear, she sure knows how to poke one. You stutter in unscrewing the bolt.

“Would’ve been nice to meet you, then.”

You clear your throat, it's strangled. “Yeah, I think I was trying to avoid introductions, honestly. Grief comes in different ways, eh?”

“Does it?”

“Mine does.” You swallow, unbolting the wire. With it free, you can just yank it out of the wall. God, forgive your brain, but Mikey was right, she does like to fight. Too bad you don’t.

She just hums in reply, watching you pull the wire from the wall. “You’re a real lifesaver.”

Fuck. Fuck. Lifesaver? Is she fucking with you?

“That toilet sprayed me right in the face, yesterday. And you saved Carmen.” There’s an amused lilt to her voice. She’s not fucking with you. “There’s something about a handywoman that Fak cannot match.”

You can hear a faint ‘Hey!’ through the walls. You laugh through an exhale.

“Again, s’my job. I do my best. Did uh, what was it, Terry come by for the walk-in? I wasn’t looking when I was there.”

You sort through your tools, deciding caulking the holes closed is probably the best option.

“He came over basically overnight to fix it, bless him, still don’t know his name.”

You laugh, it’s a little strangled. So Carmen did stay overnight. He must’ve. You smooth out the caulk with your thumb and a palette knife. Blending it into the grout as best as you can. “Good. Good.”

You dust yourself off. Standing. “Well. That’s uh. That’s my job done. Carmen asked me about—”

“Bolting down the booths?” She nods, checking the time on her watch. There’s not enough time before lunch to do it now. Plus you don’t have the screws. “You’re free to come by in the morning tomorrow—”

“But?” You interrupt, throwing your tool bag over your shoulder.

“But?”

“You said free like you’ve got a preference, what do you prefer?”

She chuckles, slightly. There is something about you that feels familiar. “If you could come after close tonight around 12, that would be nice—”

“It’s done. I’ll be there.”

“Lifesaver. I'll give you the code.”

Fuck.

Always gotta give the reader/mc some sort of mysterious background that even you don't have all the info on. Always.

Hehehehe, again, we're slowing this burn so much. Strangers to Friends to lovers but they're both so comfortable in friends it's hard to move !!

Forewarning, btw, if you've already sunk 10k worth of words into your brain for me (thank you!! I hope you've enjoyed!!), I've never written smut before and I feel like I probably will not build up the courage to do so by the end of this series, but I could prove myself wrong, I dunno. But warning in case that's your thing!! I might blue ball you babe!!

Pretty please tell me your thoughts or I'll eat my Berf shirt. Collector's value!! Thrown away!!

Next Part

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin]

Mileesss

They’re in the same highschool and have a crush on each other.

She was the second highest in her class, overachiever, but there was someone who was always above her. Miles Fucking Morales. She studied day and night but even then she'd get 99 while he'd get 100. And what really got her was the fact she never saw him study. It vexed her dearly. With his puffy hair, cute chuckle, glimmering eyes, sweet smile- no.

He was always either hanging out with his friends or sketching something in his book. You'd once once saw him with a blonde girl but that was the only girl he'd ever seemed to hang around with and she randomly stopped coming to school and he seemed sadder. Darker.

There was something about him she wanted to figure him out but he didn't even know her name. Even now they were in Math and she could help glancing across at him through her locks pretending to check the time on her phone. It hadn't moved a minute.

He was sketching. She wanted to ask him what he was sketching but couldn't find the words or the confidence. He looked so calm and at peace.

"And the answer is what? Mr. Morales," The teacher, Mr. Quinn had given her a little fright.

"3," he said, not even taking his eyes off his sketch.

"That's completely- wait what?" Mr. Quinn was shocked.

"The answer is 3, right y/n," You felt your stop. You looked at him, his eyes still on his sketch. You scanned the board quickly and nodded.

"Yeah it is," your ears were ringing. You've never heard him say your name before. It was beautiful.

"Good job Mr. Morales," The teacher went on with the lesson. After the class, you went to your locker which was a few rows from Miles'. You were so deep in thought you didn't notice when you bumped into Miles. Your books almosts spilling over.

"Oh hey sorr-” I look up to see Miles. “Miles, hi, sorry,” you try to walk around him but he stops you.

"Hey hold up, wanna hang after school? " Miles asks there's a sort of hope in his eyes, begging you say yes. You'd never seen that before.

"I- uh yeah sure."

So here you were standing in front of Miles house wondering how many times to knock. You raised your hand and hit it once and before you could hit it again the door swung open. Miles stood before you in a faded basketball jersey. There was a random afro comb in his hair, he was probably in the middle of coming his hair.

"Hi."

"Hey." he opens the door wider and ushers you in. "Do you like tacos? They're spicy."

"Yes please." you say as he hands you a plate, you realise how much his house smells like him and with the taco just added to it. Unbeknownst to you he was watching you eat. He liked how you weren't all careful and how you even asked for more, his mom was in the corner nodding her head.

You both played video games in his room, and you passed out later on Miles shoulder. When you woke up you were wrapped in a blanket, Miles' back to you. His headphones in, drawing something. You got out of the bed and giggled at how dorky he looks. the cool black boy in your class you made you blush in chemistry. You looked over his shoulder, met with a pen sketch of you! Your breathe on his neck brought him back and he turned.

"Hi-i"

"Hello." you say as you grab the book flipping through it. He tries to stop you but you get out of his grasp skimming through, you see sketches of that blond girl the name Gwen beneath them, above them or behind her with random spiderman stuff around her, you almost give him back the book till you reach the other half of the notebook which is just you. Smiling, laughing, mad, all of it.

"Miles…" you pause staring at yourself. "These are really good, you're so talented."

"Thanks, I- erm, you're a great er- muse and I- lik- admire er- yea I"

"It's getting a little dark. I should go…" Miles looks like he just died inside, for a second you lose your mind and kiss his cheek. "I had fun Morales, hope you're not letting me walk back alone."

"I'll take you home." you smile and follow him out of his room, outside it chilly. You fold your arms and he tosses you his jacket.

"I don't want you freezing on your way home." your heart is in your ears.

He walks you home and waits for the lights in your room to turn on before leaving. You wave at him through your window. He waves back He's in love.

[blueishspace]

Looped sun 4

Loop #127

Scar and Scott were admiring the view of 20 hermits running around like headless chickens while wearing dragon heads.

Scott: What did Grian do this time?

Scar: Oh you know...

Scott: I don't.

Scar: Started a game of demise...and then put curse of binding dragon heads on them while they were sleeping.

Scott: Oh. Hmmm... do you think he can do that in 3rd Life or something-

Grian: Why didn't I think of that!?!! Also, hi Scott.

Loop #130

Scar: Grian come with me!

Grian: Wha-

Scar: No time!

Scar tears Grian way just as a zombie tries to get a swing on him.

Grian: Scar what's going on!?

Scar: It's a crafting dead loop!

Grian: Well then.

Loop #134

Scott: Scar you look happy today.

Grian: It's his last loop, he had a rollercoaster tycoon loop.

Scott: Guessing because of Scarland?

Grian: I mean probably.

Scar: Do you want to see the theme park?

Scott: ... I mean sure but how?

Scar: I put it in my susbpace.

Scott: Subspace?

Grian: You did what!?!

Scar: Yeah! I do that with every theme park I make so I can combine them into one mega theme park!

Loop #136

It took Grian 2 days to realize something was wrong, it took him a week to realize what exactly it was and an additional day to think about how much he hated the world tree sometimes.

Grian: Of course this had to happen.

Scar: Uh?

Grian: Scar? Is the sun big?

Loop #141

The server was corrupted, covered in mycelium and mushrooms. X had tried his best but he too couldn't defeat the mushroom menace...and there...the cause of it smiled wickedly...

X: Who are-

Only to be interrupted by Scar.

Scar: How did you do this!?!

Grian: Had a MHA loop, looped as Kinoko. It's an op quirk really.

Scar: Oohhh, carry on then.

X: W-what are the two you talking about?

Loop #143

Scott: You know , eventually this loop will end.

Grian: Yeah? The tree isn't going to be broken forever.

Scott: In maybe billions or trillions or maybe more years... what will we be like?

Scar: I- uh. I never really tought about it.

Grian: Very different probably, I'd hate to stagnate.

Scott: I mean, Scar you are a demigod now and Grian is already a full on god!

Grian: Titan-

Scott: Details. And we have been looping just more then 100 times! What will happen in the next whoknowsillions of loops?

Scar: I-...

Scott: I'm just...scared.

Loop #145

Grian: No Scar, I'm not going full sun titan at the boat boys just because they burnt your pandas.

Scar: Please?

Grian: No

Scar: Pleeeeaaaase?

Grian: No.

Scar: Please please please please please?

Grian: ... I'll do it... but not full full I'm not vaporizing anyone this time.

Scar: ... I'll take it!

Loop #148

It was Double Life this time... Wait what? Double Life again? Pearl couldn't understand how or why. Why would she of all people be sent back to Double Life? She wasn't going to waste this or anything but it was still confusing.

Scott didn't get it, Double Life started like normal and then Pearl joined in... That never really happened before but it could have been explained by a variant. Then she wasn't surprised when they discovered that they were soulbound or when Jimmy and Tango died.

Scott was acting really weird, he would just look at Pearl without reason. And he acted so... Bored? Pearl couldn't put her finger on it but something was off.

Scott really needed to know what was going trough Pearl's head, she just annhilated all their enemies... This was so so so weird...

Pearl was frozen, it was just her and Scott again, was he going to blow himself up again? She knew it was a game but it wasn't very plesant the first time around.

Pearl: Scott! No! Not again?

Scott: Wait again? Is time... reapeating for you?

Pearl: You too!?!

Scott: Wait, the whole game?

Pearl: We didn't notice?

Scott: Well, fuck me I guess. Grian and Scar will never let me live this down.

Loop #152

Pearl: I always wanted to be in season 7, mate!

Grian: Well here you are! What do you think?

Pearl: It's so...weird? In a good way.

Scar: Want to see what I'm working on?

Pearl: Are you kidding me mate? Of course I want to!

Grian was drinking tea when Pearl became mayor, honestly he didn't mind anymore at least this one made sense.

Loop #155

Spiderman: Poultry man is something wrong man?

Grian: I...it's a...loop thing.

Spiderman: I'm listening.

Grian: I did a ping at the beginning and I'm sure Pearl is here too but I can't find her anywhere? I'm worried she might be in danger.

Spiderman: Oh that's a problem, well sometimes Yggdrasil likes to have fun, is there something from baseline that could tell you where she might be?

Grian: I guess there's the scarlet Pea- oh ...

Pietro: Sister, when will we go not that we are free?

Pearl: Oh, I just know a place.

Loop #157

Grian: If you could choose the next new looper who would you choose? I would choose...Mumbo.

Scar: Oh Mumbo too...or Cub! Cub would be fun.

Grian: The multiverse isn't ready for a looper Cub.

Scott: Jimmy, it would be nice I think. Lizzie and Joel too.

Pearl: I'm going to say Gem or Cleo, there are way too many guys now. No offence.

Scar: Wha- That's not true! We-

Scar was quickly shut up by the wave of an hand and a bit of chaos magic.

Loop #160

Scott: A roleswap variant? I think I'm in Grian's place?

Grian: Uh... alone in Double Life. I think I'm in Pearl's.

Pearl: I got Scar's so I'm guessing Scar got Scott's place.

Grian: Does that mean Scar is alone in Empires right now?

...

...

Scott: I'll get you into the server before the paperwork kills him again.

Grian: Thank you.

Loop #162

Grian woke up with an headache in a middle of a room... after looking around for a bit he realized he never saw this place before. Cautiously he sent out a ping and-

Scott: Welcome!

Grian: Scott!? Where are you? What is this place?

Scott: I present to you my first looper proof escape room!

Grian: No, it can't be...

Scott: But it is!

Pearl: Mate?

Scott: Yeah?

Pearl: I hate you.

Scott: Fair enough.

Pearl: I will get revenge.

Scott: ... Worth it.

Scar: I did it! So fast too!

Scott: ...

Scar: Scott?

Scott: *sigh* Scar...

Scar: What's wrong?

Scott: That was only the first room.

Scar: Nooooo!

Loop #165

Grian woke up in a room, only one window into the outside. It took him 3 seconds to connect the dot.

Grian: Ok, I'm starting to get tired of the sun stuff now. It's a bit predictable.

Of course he had to loop as Rapunzel... at least the healing incantation might come in handy in future loops.

Loop #168

Scott: I know what you are Scar.

Scar: Eh?!? Where did you-

Scott: I finally understand.

Scar: Uhhh understand what?

Scott: Why you ask Grian to go titan-god mode so often.

Scar: I just...find it cool.

Scott: Quite the opposite, you find it hot don't you?

Scar: What? No-

Scott: I'm onto you.

Loop #169

Grian walked to his base to see all of his chests and shulks floating in midair and moving to organise themselves in rows.

Grian: How are you doing that?

Pearl: Oh, I got a Star Wars Loop. Became a sith. You know the drill.

Scar: WHY DOES EVERYONE GET A STAR WARS LOOP BUT ME!?! WHY!??

Grian: ... You learnt to use the force and you are...organising my storage system??? ...why are you like this?

Loop #172

Scott: Another bad loop?

Grian: Unfortunately.

Scott: Want to talked about it.

Grian: Got looped as Ghostbur and was stuck in Limbo for 20 years.

Scott: ...Yikes.

Loop #175

Pearl had been at this way too long, the urge to just use chaos magic was tempting but it was a question of principle.

Katara: You are pushing way too hard, It's not going to work if you try to order it around... It's a push and pull.

Pearl: Push and pull.

Katara: Look at the ocean and moon, the movement of the tides. Feel the natural push and pool around you and coax the water like the moon does.

Pearl: Like the moon you say? Push....and pull...push and pull.

Katara: See, you are learning quickly, isn't it much better now?

Pearl: It is. Thank you.

Prev Next First

[nothingbutnowhere]

Hockey player au! Simon "Ghost" Riley headcanons. Based on the NHL

Note: suggestive of ghoap and ghoap x reader (she/her used)

Goalie. Starter. Tall, large, and most importantly: weird. Goalies are always weird, idk they just are, it's what happens when you spend half the game hanging out alone I guess

The best part of goalie Ghost is his flexibility. Have you seen how flexible goalies are? These huge, muscular men can do the splits. It's very important to me that you consider flexible Ghost, thank you.

His mask is black and white, matches his tattoos. He's the unshakable goalie, not flashy, never frustrated. Just a brick fuckin wall. If he sees it, he's going to stop it. You cannot snipe on him and score. Also his rebound control is unreal, no second chances.

He never retaliates against opposing players fucking with him because no one fucks with him due to:

His death glare, it's enough to make any and every enforcer or net nuisance shake in his skates

The Incident in the minors where he sent a guy to the hospital with a jab from his blocker and almost got kicked out of the league and banned from the NHL

On the off chance that something untoward does happen on accident, someone else will do that for him. The bond between a goalie and his defensemen cannot be understated. Ok fine. Soap. He's the defenseman, there's the spoiler.

Very superstitious, has his routines and does not deviate. Doesn't ever take his mask off on the ice, except when it breaks. Doesn't even pull it up to squirt water on his face or drink.

The loyalty that his skaters have towards him and vice versa is off the charts. Even if the media and fans don't see it, it's there. Usually guys don't speak poorly of their goalies, but this is on another level. Ferda.

Speaking of, social media people can never catch him. Like seriously where does this guy even walk in the building?? Where does he go during intermission?? Surely he practices at some point right?? He won the Veznia trophy (voted best goalie) and straight up did not show up to the ceremony.

He will go to the children's hospital to do visits with the team and the kids are either terrified or love him. Picturing him giving out the little teddy bears 😭

Caught covid despite his vigilant PPE usage (hockey locker rooms are cesspools like ew), got really sick, and developed myocarditis; ie almost died multiple times, recovered insanely fast and then just showed back up to practice one day at 100% like "put me in coach". No one outside of the trainers and locker room even knew why he was gone to begin with. Wild stuff.

Hockey players tend to tack on an '-y' or sometimes '-er' to a name for funsies but no one gets to call him 'Ghosty'. (Maybe Soap can call him that in private, as a treat 🥺)

Hockey hair status: he shaves his head boooo (not that you'd even be able to tell really with his mask and use of hats and hoods). Won't even grow out facial hair during the playoffs. Maybe if he did then he'd have a cup. Smh.

Roster pic: the meanest mug you've ever seen on a guy

Mic'd up status: everyone thinks he's unmic-able, however he's secretly telling jokes to himself when the puck is in the other zone. But no one needs to know that.

WAG status: if he had one we would never know... Right? He's always in the background of photos that Soap's girlfriend takes and posts of her and Soap? Much speculation.

...

I do NOT consent for my works, part of my works, or my ideas to be used for ANY form of AI.

Note: WAG stands for wife and girlfriend or the plural, used to refer to sports guys significant others. Yes it is heteronormative.

A/N: I'll never actually write fics for this, but I have headcanons. I know a moderate amount about hockey and next to nothing about cod so apologies. Completely unserious. Just some silly little thoughts :) plus letterkenny reference!

Edit for typo

More hockey au: Soap | Gaz | Price

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 255

okay i'll still finish this one too i prommy but i just had time for one today and i picked this one because it's just a liiiiittle more compelling to me for aradia to be the rose bride figure

disorganized rambling and mild utena spoilers under the cut

so there are these visual parallels that won't leave my brain, between the thousands of swords bearing down on anthy at the end of rgu/the thousands of aradiabots being wiped out by jack right before they enter the kids' universe, AND ALSO anthy in her coffin/aradia in the crypt at the core of derse's moon.

aradia does want to protect (or like, Avenge) the people she cares about. i mean that's kind of the whole impetus for her being killed initially. and she gets put in that crypt for it and then she dies a million times, across a million different doomed timelines. of course all her friends ALSO die in those timelines, but yknow. she could've just hung around until she quietly ceased to exist. INSTEAD though, she goes back in time and suffers a predestined violent death at jack's hands in order to make it all mean something, and to protect her friends in the alpha timeline from becoming doomed themselves.

and it all leaves her as the kind of person who is prepared to just watch with mild curiosity as reality literally disintegrates around her (which.... like anthy, is, to a certain extent, a façade. i mean i don't think aradia's curiosity about the end of reality is fake, but also she SAYS she's not going to participate in the Lord English fight and just let whatever happens happen, but then he kicks Tavros and she immediately jumps on his back and chokes him out so like. do we REALLY think she is 100% free of emotions about all of it?)

anyway aradia megido has suffered more than jesus.

there's also the whole. like. having this dude who really does not indicate that he sees her as a person At All try to trick/force her into a romantic relationship with him?? and her status on alternia at the absolute bottom of the hemospectrum. the little crisis we see her have about just being used as a tool by the whims of fate and the alpha timeline. anthycore af

and then there's jade! jade is incredibly incredibly brave and she wants to do right by her friends. she is EXTREMELY fucking powerful and she is not willing to take bullshit from anyone. she could absolutely open that fuckin coffin.

and she also has a lot of fairytale imagery that i think goes very much hand in hand with utena's whole prince deal. she has her whole sleeping beauty, princess trapped in a tower on a deserted island theme going, and she just... never really leans into it. other characters around her seem to expect her to lean into it sometimes! and utena is constantly bombarded by other characters telling her it would JUST be easier if she was a princess and let herself be saved by a prince. but ultimately jade and utena are just out here living their lives without all that because it doesn't actually resonate with them.

ALL THAT SAID i wanna reiterate this isn't like a full-on AU it's just like. some character comparisons that i think are Neat. I don't have like, a whole thing thought out beyond this drawing or anything lol

[sunbeamah]

Would you consider the making a fic where the Kusozu Brothers react to Canon or meeting canon?

I'd just like to sincerely apologise for how long this took, I truly am so sorry. I started writing as soon as you sent this, and went through about seven drafts before I realised that I'm really not good enough to write ten characters meeting alternate versions of themselves-- so I hope you'll accept Sukuna's Exploits in Canon and the headcanons beneath the cut!

Choso

Choso hates almost everyone in canon.

He hates the coach from episode 1;

"Why is he, as a schoolteacher, blackmailing students, making bets with them and changing what club you signed up for??? CREEP!

Megumi,

"Why does he have to be in this?"

Sorcerers,

"EXECUTED?!"

Gojo,

"IN HIS BASEMENT??????"

Nobara,

"You're not an idiot, Otouto, don't listen to her."

Junpei,

"If he just listened to you (Yuuji) he wouldn't have traumatised you by dying!"

Todo,

Now at first he liked Todo. He knows that's Yuki's younger brother for one, and on top of that the first thing Todo does is try to beat Megumi half to death

"Omg I love that kid."

When Yuuji and Todo fight, things start to slip a bit..

"I like that kid way less now."

And when Todo calls Yuuji brother.......

"I hate that kid now. Who does he think he is? I'm your big brother. Not him. You already have Eso, why do you need another tall, tan, muscular brother??"

Yuuji: Well--

Sukuna: Well nothing, whip me out, I'll show him whose 'buraza' you are.

Choso likes Nanami though.

When his brothers are like "??? Just like that?" he goes:

"I liked it when he said that Yuuji's the child and he's the adult. It seems like, though he;s endeared by Yuuji, he still maintains and appropriate and professional distance with him. And he's protecting you two (Sukuna and Yuuji) while we're off doing whatever it is we're doing.

Which begs the question! What are they doing?

When the death paintings are introduced, Choso is excited! And then the fight happens. Way less excited.

If they were watching JJK as a tv show, this is where Choso stops watching. They can try to make him come back all they like, Choso is NOT standing for it. Even if they get him to watch s2, as soon as he sees Gojo he's leaving.

If they made him see himself... I think he'd break the TV as soon as he struck Yuuji for the first time

And if they showed him his final scene, I think he'd weep in relief. And be excited that Yuki rocked up!

Eso

For the whole of season one, he's waiting for his debut.

"This is so boring when do we show up?"

"Imagine if Yuuji left us back in Sendai."

"If I were there Junpei would've lived. Just saying."

"UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Bring me in I'll shut Sukuna up."

BUT! There are some highlights for him. Such as:

Nanami.

Eso, licking his lips: You reckon he's (Nanamin's) ever been outta the country?

Yuuji: Eso-nii you are NOT fucking my train bestie.

Eso: "I'll take you to Malaysia baby."

Megumi!

During the fight with Todo he's cheering him on hard out.

"Yeah get him Megumi!! Finish summoning whatever that is, I've been seeing it! Actually do it this time! 4th time's the charm! Beat his ass!!" (It's his Mahoraga fists)

Other than that, it's been a dull watch for him.

Until they appear!:

Eso: FINALLY!

Kechizu: it’s us!!!!!! Niichan why do you look like you haven’t slept in 100 years

Sukuna: Wdym, he looks the exact same

Yuuji: I hate to say it, Choso-nii, but… he’s right.

Choso: They’re not that bad.. (pulls out his phone to check)

Choso:

Choso: Oh. 

Eso: Hey wait, why are we asking why Niisan looks like that, when we should be asking..

Kechizu: Shut up

Eso: Why YOU look like THAT

Yuuji: Ooooo I love the body horror

Kechizu: !!? BODY HORROR! 

Sukuna: He looks cooler than you do.

Yuuji: I look the same though?

Sukuna: yeah exactly

And when the Yuuji and Nobara vs Eso and Kechizu fight starts:

Eso: Oooooooou we’re gonna fight, Yuu-chan! Money’s on me, this protag’s been winning too many fights lately

Kechizu: His friend literally just died. And Todo beat him up.

Eso: Still, in the end everything was fine. I’m sure once Yuuji uses his ‘I’m your brother’ cursed technique, we’ll stop fighting and everything will be A-OK!

Sukuna: Yuuji should use my power to put you down like the dog you are

Eso: Your reputation couldn’t handle how hard I’d whoop your ass

And when it ends:

Eso, mouth open, jaw dropped, flies coming out, pissed: It’s rigged. It’s rigged! I would 100% win a fight against Yuuji, and I’ll prove it right now

Unfortunately for him, by this point Yuuji is too busy being cradled by a wildly sobbing Choso.

He does NOT want to watch the show after he dies. But when he hears Gojo gets sealed and Choso's gonna show up, he makes a concession for those episodes.

Eso: Gayest death scene in the whole show, tops Junpei's by miles.

Yuuji: He's not even dead!!!!

Now he insists he won't watch till Choso's on, but when he sees Nanami's new look... Let's just say he's sat for Dull Knife.

Eso: Yuuji I love you. I love you so much. You're my babiest of brothers. I'll always love you. But for fucks sake you did NOT deserve to be the one to meet Nanami out of all of us!!!

Yuuji: ?! Kechizu did too?!

Eso: And I'm still pissed NEITHER of you introduced him to me. Like?????? Have you seen the man???????????????? When he gets back from Malaysia he'll literally be my ideal type. I hate you two.

Eso: --and so, not only would it be neglect, but it would also be legally wrong of you not to introduce him to me.

Yuuji: NO!

Eso: AND HIS NAME IS:::: ZENIN TOJIIII! (John Cena theme plays from his phone)

Yuuji: You HATED him! You hated him before this!

Eso: And now for the purposes of the show I love him! Uncle-in-law! 

Kechizu: Wow… I really should’ve remembered Nanami, huh? 

Yuuji: ENOUGH!

Sukuna: Brat, even you can admit he’s hot. Look how they drew him. It’s softcore porn, beatdown edition. 

Eso: Hey do you have his phone number?

Yuuji: NO!

Choso: Good. 

Eso: I’ll come with you to and from school next time. I should thank him.

Yuuji: BACK!!! OFF!!!

Kechizu: Yeah! Leave some for the rest of us! Yuuji and Choso: NO!

Kechizu: I thought you liked him, Oniichan!

Choso: Well yes, but… 

Sukuna: Don’t tell me your type is blonds…

Choso: I only like the one blonde…… Maybe a second one now, but–

Yuuji: CAN EVERYONE STOP HITTING ON NANAMIN?

And then Choso's episode!!:

Contrary to everyone else in the room, Eso's enjoying himself.

Eso: AND THEN HIT HIM WITH THE RIGHT HOOK! AND THEN SUPERNOVA HIM! AND THEN DIVERGENT FIST TO THE STOMACH! AND THEN SLICE HIM WITH A BLOOD BLADE! AND THEN--

By the middle-end area he quietens down out of respect for the... Mourners.

Choso, crying, can’t watch his fight scene: JUST REALISE!!! IT CAN’T BE THAT HARD!!! I HAVE A BLOOD TECHNIQUE!!!!!!!!

Sukuna: YUUJI! USE ME! WHIP! ME! OUT! YUUJI FOR FUCKS SAKES–! 

Kechizu: DON’T HIT HIM HE’S JUST A BABY!!!!!! YOUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eso, visibly disturbed: I think you should all step out for a minute...

As soon as he gets the sense that Nanami's about to die, he leaves.

Eso: I'm not watching that shit! Call me when Niisan gets back.

Kechizu

tries to cover the twins' eyes when there's violence

it doesn't work because, in the beginning, show!Sukuna IS the violence

Very vocally dislikes Gojo, always takes an issue with whatever he has to say or do.

Kechizu: 'ten seconds' what a creep. Sukuna'll teach him a lesson when he gets all his fingers back.

Kechizu: Executed??? What a pushover! If he's so powerful he should just kill the higher ups.

As soon as Kamo Noritoshi's name is said during the sexchange event arc, Kechizu is piping up

Kechizu: DAD???????

He's 100% convinced their father has been deaged and put into the Kyoto school

Cries when Eso dies, but is willing to watch the rest of the show because Yuuji and Sukuna are in it!

(lives to regret that^)

Interestingly enough, though, he enjoys the hidden inventory arc

cheers when Toji sells Megumi and kills Gojo, but when Kusozu Sukuna defends Geto, suddenly he has an issue with mr Fushiguro and 'see, Yuuji, this is why you need to break up with that boy'

when Sukuna starts killing people in Shibuya (indirectly after the first few kills since he's fighting Jogo), Kechizu spends 90% of the episode defending him

Kechizu: they should've just moved if they didn't want to get exterminated! What's stopping them?!

Sukuna: I'm saying!

Yuuji: THE BARRIER!

Chokes on his snacks when he sees the flashback to Kamo Noritoshi, points at the screen wildly and concocts the most batshit insane theory that Choso and Eso (who are no longer watching at this point) believe wholeheartedly

Kechizu: So you see, Dad must have a duplicate technique that requires a brainswap, and he's clearly split his consciousness between Kemo Noritoshi and Geto's body, and so he was the real mole this whole time. Ignore that puppet kid in the bath, he's a decoy.

Choso: I see

Eso: It's all coming together

Yuuji: ?????????????

Sukuna, lying: You're so right. I see it now. Are you sure you didn't write the show yourself, Keke Akusotami?

When Yuki pulls up he's the only brother other than Choso that's happy to see her

Kechizu: OH THANK FUCK! GET THEM YUKI!!!!!!!

Sukuna

Endlessly entertained by himself at first

His favourite line is Show!Sukuna's very first words: "WHERE ARE THE WOMEN? THE CHILDREN?!"

It took him 15 minutes to stop laughing and another 10 to actually process what else was going on in the show

During the prison episode he's still kind of amused when Show!Kuna just straight up kills Yuuji. The only things that irk him are:

Sukuna: I don't like how I'm lookin at Fushiguro right now.

Sukuna: 'show me something special' he doesn't have anything special

Sukuna: Why couldn't I have killed all three of them??

Doesn't like Nanami. He doesn't hate him or anything, he just has no interest in him.

(Secretly, he's been holding a grudge ever since Nanami said he didn't acknowledge Yuuji as a sorcerer)

When Junpei dies, Sukuna feels kind of bad, but only because Kusozu Yuuji is crying so hard

Sukuna: I wouldn’t laugh like that if he died. Not in front of you. Probably in private. Maybe at the funeral. If you ran off crying. Or if you didn’t then I’d do it silently. This is just overkill, really. Ha, overkill. Get it? Cause he got killed… Over top of you. But yeah I wouldn’t laugh in your face, that's crazy. Like you are now. Cause your friend’s de–

Eso: Bro..

Kechizu: Sukuna-kun I think you made your point!!

After that he's less eager to see himself.

But he still insists Yuuji "whip him out" every time there's trouble. Like when he's being bullied by the Tokyo school for coming back from the dead; fighting Todo, Hanami, making eye contact with Gojo-- all worthy of the wrath of the king of curses

When the death painting arc starts::

Eso: Oooooooou we’re gonna fight, Yuu-chan! Money’s on me, this protag’s been winning too many fights lately

Kechizu: His friend literally just died. And Todo beat him up.

Eso: Still, in the end everything was fine. I’m sure once Yuuji uses his ‘I’m your brother’ cursed technique, we’ll stop fighting and everything will be A-OK!

Sukuna: Yuuji should use my cursed technique to put you down like the dog you are

Eso: Your reputation couldn’t handle how hard I’d whoop your ass

But by the time the arc is ending, Sukuna is getting a liiiiitle, small, tiny, teensy bit sad. Mostly because Kechizu is bawling his eyes out.

Sticks around for the next arc! All the Kusozu brothers leave after the first five minutes, unwilling to watch anymore, leaving only Sukuna and Yuuji. But first::

Choso: Why do we have to see this irrelevant’s lifestory? (Gojo’s)

Eso: This perv again..

Kechizu: I hope his boyfriend dies. 

Sukuna: That’s dark. Not me. That’s sensei right there. I hope his girl friend dies. 

Yuuji: She doesn’t die you idiot she’s literally in season 1

Sukuna: And season 1 comes before season 2, I’m not the idiot here. 

Yuuji:

Hidden Inventory becomes Sukuna's favourite arc pretty quickly! It only loses its spot when Megumi appears at the end

Eso: GET HIM TOJI!!! YES!!!!!!!

Yuuji: You guys are just doing it to irritate me at this point, ‘cause there’s no way you hate him this much

Kechizu: HE DID IT!!!! HE KILLED HIM!!!!!!

Yuuji: You know he comes back, right??

Sukuna: SHUT UP BUZZKILL WE’RE TRYING TO SAVOUR THE MOMENT!

Yuuji: Choso-nii why are you pausing…

Choso: (takes a picture of Gojo’s ‘dead’ body)

Yuuji:

Hates the filler ep, wants to get back to the killing people part, that was his favourite

He's excited for the Shibuya incident, so much so that he almost doesn't notice he hasn't spoken a single word all season

He's hurling abuse at the TV during the choso vs yuuji ep, but then again he's hurling abuse at the TV no matter what episode is playing

He's convinced that if Show!Yuuji just gives him control, everything will be fine!

(He's wrong. He's so deeply wrong.)

Has the time of his life during the Sukuna takeover eps

Actually giggled (half of it was out of shock!) when Nanako and Mimiko got killed (HE WOULD! I'M SORRY BUT HE WOULD!!

Does a victory lap around the room during the Jogo fight

Sukuna: GET HIM! SLICE HIM AGAIN! FUCK THE DOCOMO TOWER! FUCK THOSE CARS! THAT'S WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT!!!!!! NOW HIT HIM WITH THE-- what the fuck-- WHAT THE FUCK! FUUGA?!?!?! FUUGA!!!!!!!!

Sukuna: Why am I saving Fushiguro again? He's the one who decided to kill himself, how is that my problem??

He only calms down a bit once Show!Yuuji comes back and has a breakdown.

Pretends to be totally unaffected but secretly presses his knee to Yuuji's

Sukuna: all that and I still didn't get Kenjaku? Really?

Yuuji: Who's Kenjaku???

Sukuna, who got bored after his eps and looked up spoilers to pass the time: ...........

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 12: Initial Thoughts

Hello everyone! I thought it'd be fun to do a post going over some of my first thoughts from the episode after each release. "Initial" is a bit of a stretch, considering I did watch it a second time while making this post, but it's more "initial" in the context of being before the next episode drops. It's sort of like my "initial thoughts" of the Milgram MVs, which are actually the result of, like, 3 hours of obsessing and research, lol.

(By the way, @accirax and I watched the episode together, so apologies if her initial thoughts end up being, like, the same as mine.)

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT CH 2 EP 12!

T/W: Body image issues/body dysmorphia, murder, suicide

The Reactions

Confirmation of what I think most of us already suspected! I do think it's a little weird that Nico didn't bring up their testimony about all of the fish being there at the last time they fed the fish. That probably means it's being saved for later in the Trial, I guess?

It's okay Teruko, I saw literally no one in the entire fanbase figure this one out either!

Why is everyone so mean to her though. Everyone here has been an idiot in the Trials at LEAST once

God I missed David

This was so funny. Get his ass.

(In all seriousness, though, I do wonder if we're going to come back to what J said. I don't currently (?) think Arei was drenched, unless the real purpose of the water WAS just to confuse the time of death, so if the water didn't connect with her enough to cool her down, it might be weird that the body isn't warm after all.)

This took me out. Who let you say that. What.

Okay, but Ace, outside of a killing game... why. Like, literally why would a plastic surgeon need to know how to do an autopsy. King.

Like Felicity...? /hj

All in all, though, this was a really interesting character moment for Arturo! And god, the fact that he started learning medical knowledge and spedrun plastic surgery specifically since age 12 HAS to mean something. My vague theories of Felicity having struggles with body image/dysmorphia (Arturo's section of this post) are... maybe real???

Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if Arturo is going to go farther in this game. I don't expect him to survive or anything, but I could see it taking him a surprisingly long time to die. He feels like he's got too much lore to unpack to die, like, next chapter. Unless he gets HELLA focused next chapter, which is definitely possible.

This is so silly. I love them.

(Note: I'm not a Whit mastermind truther, but if I were, I would point out that MonoTV sort of covering up a rules violation for Whit could be relevant. I'm not a Whit mastermind truther though, so I think this is just a very silly joke a la "no wifi! why live :(" )

Well you see Eden, the killer would have actually had all night to prepare. If, say, they mentioned that they could dial in and focus on their work for like 14 hours straight, they could have gotten a lot done before 7:30 AM!

I'll talk about this more later, but the fact that J, David, Veronika, Hu and Nico seemingly have alibis that actually matter is so iconic. I can't believe that many theories died that quick. I'll talk about that more in my theories section, though!

It's been said before, but. Funniest fucking reaction to being declared innocent of murder.

"David still has a family history of depression even if that isn't his secret" nation where you at?

This one made me laugh out loud. Who does it like him

How truthful do we think David is in this next section? I refuse to believe it's 100% a lie, just because he's cooking SO hard on SOMETHING, but I could also believe David thinks he's lying to an extent. I could definitely see a "the best lies are based on the truth" kind of thing?

Also, damn. Xanvid really is real. LGI got me to believe it but WOW David's just being gay on main now

This was a really good, succinct way to have Teruko show her opposition to David's ideas. Even if it is to end the killing game or do something "good' or whatever, Teruko is still hurt and betrayed by what Xander did. Xander tried to kill her, and presumably would have tried to kill everyone else. David is now doing the same thing.

It's going to be really interesting if, whether genuine or not, David is kinda taking on Xander's position. That's going to give Teruko a reason to (outwardly) hate him even more. I'm really looking forward to learning more about how both Teruko and David view Xander.

Also, it's so fucking funny that Teruko and David are literally fighting over Xander. Like, valid, but. Guys.

(Also, David soooo knows Teruko's secret is the killing game is all your fault. Idk if he specifically knows that Xander's plan was to kill Teruko no matter what, but he's definitely caught on to some extent.)

This was crazy. Is Xander famous? Why would everyone recognize him? Like, did David just take particular notice of Xander because he's a simp, or is there something else going on?

Notably, it's also extremely interesting that David says "Even if you all lost a year of memories for this killing game." It almost implies that David didn't? What do you know???

Also, if David DOES have weird memories about this that no one else does, it's a really interesting comparison to Teruko remembering the existence of a killing game in the area investigation when she was talking to Veronika. Are these two getting special memory privileges because they're important? Or does everyone have some kind of memory that they all should have, but only one person knows each thing?

At first I was confused when David said this, because I really don't know how dear anyone in DRDT's life to him was other than Xander. But then I realized, if David is talking about killing 15 others and yourself, he's definitely still talking about Xander's mindset. Xander had something worth the lives of 16 people that he was trying to do.

I don't know how much David cares about ending the killing game. I wonder if "belief in Xander" is the thing he's willing to kill 13 people plus himself for?

I'm starting to get REALLY curious what J's deal is. Between this and her voiced line earlier in the trial saying something along the lines of "it's like you all still haven't grasped just how serious murder is," she definitely seems to have strong opinions on specifically the morality of killing other people. WHY is she being singled out with these beliefs, what does it say about her, and where is her character headed?

(If she is the mastermind, does this couple with the "all murderers must be held accountable" rule?)

"Any answer" is so funny. I think she's looking for the truthful answer, David. This is why no one believes you when you say anything ever /aff

Notably, this is VERY similar to the plan Eden came up with that Veronika described: using the fact that TV shows need entertainment to continue to end the killing game. It's the same thing, but with a much more depressed "everyone should just give up" kind of flavor.

The level of similarity does make me think David is probably not being 100% truthful, and that he just repurposed Eden's escape plan to be something sort of similar to what he was going for.

I do think that he WAS trying to defeat the killing game by killing people through the class trial. I just think that, between Xander's actions and the motive secret he received, he was trying to kill Teruko specifically. Yet another way that David's unhinged behavior ties into the Chapter 2 secrets.

*Hu hopeless child looms in the distance*

I'm so glad that Hu gets to pop off though. She really hasn't gotten, like, any content in the series so far. Here's hoping this is kicking off her getting a bunch of time to shine!

Interesting that they had both Ace and Hu cut Nico off in this interaction. The staging definitely implies that they're trying to show that while Ace is wrong for talking over Nico and not letting them say anything, Hu is also wrong to an extent for not letting Nico defend themself and running to their rescue all the time.

I am begging you. Please discuss the murder method. I didn't realize until my rewatch of the trial that they have actually literally not talked about the murder method at ALL except for telling David that he doesn't know shit about it.

HUH?????????????

Theory Update/Analysis

Well, I'm gonna start this off by saying that I'm still pretty locked into Eden being the killer. We still need to address the tape, and I personally still found her to be decently shifty now behavior wise (she seemed nervous when we turned back to solving the trial, and she says something about "it's too hard to narrow down the killer :/" when people were talking about morning alibis). I just think it makes the most sense.

While obviously my logic for why Levi would be the accomplice has to be at least somewhat flawed, given Levi's surprise confession (!!!), I still think it's possible that Levi is the accomplice here. He could be doing this to further confuse/complicate the state of things (hence why he calls it leading people astray), and it's possible he's not being 100% honest here.

Something that Levi could be doing here is taking control of the situation and spinning the truth in his favor. Hu mentioned earlier (e11, I think?) that the secrets are phrased dramatically. Similarly, Levi may be trying to offer an explanation for his secret that might be more tame, but still believable.

For example, if Levi says that he killed one of his parents because of the circumstances he grew up in, but it turned out that his parents were extremely abusive to him in some way (cough cough Amane Momose), wouldn't people be more willing to forgive the fact that he's a "murderer"? There are different levels to the culpability of murders.

So, it's definitely possible this is still an attempt by Levi to conceal the truth of his secret. It's true that, right now, no one's really trying to match all of the remaining secrets up with the remaining secret holders in-universe, but the entire fanbase pretty much slam dunked this one. Once the content of the secrets was revealed, it wasn't too difficult to track the origin of this secret to Levi. Levi might know that, and might be trying to spin it in a positive way while he can get everyone's attention and tell everyone the same narrative here in the class trial.

I don't think any Levi accomplice or killer truthers have to fully give up on the idea, or at least not until we see what Levi actually says after this. It's a WILD topic to reveal we're going to talk about, but we haven't actually talked about it yet. If we were told "we get David's motivations for trying to throw the trial," I doubt literally any of us would have locked in the prediction of "David is trying to follow in Xander's footsteps by killing everyone via the trial because he kind of remembers Xander." So, until next week, I'm keeping an open mind!

This was insane. I can't believe we actually got a new episode, and that we're gonna KEEP getting new episodes until the chapter finishes. What the fuck!!!

[divinerivals]

I'm almost done with my acotar reread. I'm on acofas and I have thoughts. Yes, these are most likely unpopular and, most importantly, my opinions.

1. I don't like Rhys or Feyre. I know I've been back and forth on Rhys on liking him and not. I understand why now. I appreciate him from a morally grey standpoint and the healing journey Feyre goes through. Their love story is good not great just good. Beyond on that I couldn't careless.

2. Acotar is her weakest series. I know it's romance based. far more than tog or cc. Perhaps that's the issue. I'm not sure. But her writing, in general, is stronger in tog and cc

3. I've been rereading all sjm books in anticipation of hofas with my friend Rachel(@nighteyed) Throughout our long discussions, I'm taking Azriel out of the doghouse I put him in. No, that doesn't mean I agree with his bonus scene it still rubs me the wrong way and will call out his faults like I do every character. But he's alright.

4. Tamlin is 100% a red flag. But the male is depressed af and the ic should just leave him alone. What happened UTM broke him too. And changed him. Locking up Feyre, going to Hybern, and acting like a dickhead at the highlords meeting were fucked up. Him reacting over Feyre's letter in acomaf was not. When she left she couldn't read or write.

5. Eris made mistakes in the past but deep down I think he's a better male than alot of the fae. And also. Make Azris canon Sarah. Do that and I'll forgive so lorcan did.

6. I haven't liked Mor since I first met her and I still don't

7. Cassian is the superior bat boy. I said what I said.

8. It's so sad seeing how Nesta was improving in acowar. How she began changing, helping. That bite and coldness she started off with was going away and then she watched her father die. Her mate almost die, and killed Hybern. It broke her and you can see the shift in her immediately after the battle.

9. What did Elain and Lucien talk about before he left Velaris?? Speaking of them. What happened between acowar and acofas. I need answers Sarah.

10. Because I feel like I need to round this out lmao. I think the whole line Elain says to Cassian about it wouldn't take much to kill him isn't foreshadowing. He almost died three times in the series. Once in acomaf, twice in acowar. She was merely stating that he throws himself into battles to protect others without a thought to himself, and if he's not careful, it could end him. It's also possible she just saw a vision at the battle of hybern.

[bonefall]

How does Fallenleaf feel about how Ivypool and Dovewing were treated? And what do the latter think about her (Dovewing especially, since i imagine she was compared to her a lot when it came to the prophecy. I can definetely see an exasperated Jayfeather going 'Well Hollyleaf took the prophecy seriously before- when we thought she was part of it). Come to think of it, I can see Dovewing resenting Fallenleaf not only for the comparisons made about her, but also the fact that Jayfeather and Lionblaze let their sister know but she can't tell Ivypool even as they grow more distant. (Granted, Hollyleaf was told BEFORE they realized she wasn't part of the prophecy, but who knows if Dovewing is privy to that. >:3c)

Their relationship is, uh...

Skip back 100 years ago, Holly Leaves the Tyrant ruining ancient society.

She killed Jay Wing with her own two paws, drove Lion Roar out through grief, and then tried to stop Dove Wing from taking the survivors to the mountain

Dove Wing beat her ass. Handed it to her on a silver platter. Folly Leaves could break her brothers, but NOT Dove Wing.

Fallen Leaves for 1,000 seasons in a tunnel: "thank god i never have to see that random person who mcfuckin wrecked me ever again i think i would die of embarassment and/or fear"

Lionblaze, modern day: "we missed you so much... we were terrified when you acted like that, I thought I killed you when we... well... it's time to put that behind us. Are you prepared to meet your nieces? ...i raised them. If you hurt them I'll never forgive you."

Dovewing: (IS THAT RANDOM GUY WHO KICKED HER ASS)

And then Fallen learns Cinderheart went through with the plan to raise them with Lionblaze so Poppyfrost could have access

But that Poppyfrost did not TAKE that access.

So basically Cinderheart went through all this for nothing

AND on top of all the other new information (and she can't entirely remember where she "left off." Was that one's name ALWAYS Honeysnake??)

One of those things is the prophecy. That was only revealed shortly before the Fire Scene in BB, and then the Fire Reveal, Firestar dying, the Gathering Reveal, uhh... what was the gray guy she killed's name again? Asterfall??

Her freakout before getting time travelled is the fuzziest part of her life, she can barely remember half of it and the order of events is totally scrambles egged. Did the fire happen before or after her grandpaw died??

But meanwhile Dovewing's been raised her whole life with Fallenleaf as like, this big missing piece in everyone's lives, she wanted to know the truth about her for her entire existence. Hollyleaf was an impossible standard to live up to, her mother's true love and her Firekin's prodigal child before her.

And now she can't. Because this is obviously not Hollyleaf. This is a big, confused shadow. That's FRUSTRATING. Dovewing is trying really hard at this point to not show how upset she is about this. You mean to say the sad ghost she could hear shuffling around in the tunnels her whole life was her long lost aunt all along?!

THIS is what she was being held up to, all her life? This is why she could never take a break? This is the fuss? Some Fucking Guy?!

Meanwhile Ivypool is trying to mimic the feelings her parents feel. She takes a lot from Lionblaze, desperate to signal to them that she's in the family and cares about the same things they do. I don't think she really feels much of anything towards Fallenleaf at first-- but if they all care together then it feels like they've "come together"

And Dovewing's lack of enthusiasm, or even desperately veiled frustration, is like betrayal. CARE with me, we're supposed to FEEL GOOD about this AS A FAMILY. And if you can't then WELL WELL WELL look who's WINNING AT CARING ABOUT THIS, something very NORMAL and POSSIBLE to do! Surely, I am the better daughter, actually.

And while all that's playing out, Fallenleaf is still like, absolutely haunted by Dovewing being that random person who kicked her ass. She deserved it but like... she killed her brother in an ancient epoch and it turns out his sister in another lifetime is now his daughter in this one. What the fuck. And she looks at her negatively EXTRA what the fuck

I want them all to have a few good scenes together, but I don't think their relationship to Fallenleaf is... strong.

She ends up marrying their mom, Cinderheart. I think for Dovewing, she DOES actually think that's nice for them.

But Ivypool feels threatened. She feels she's going to get replaced.

This is while Lionblaze also ends up moving on with Toadstep, mind you. Both parents are finding new mates and having new kits

Ivypool takes it especially poorly, Dovewing has complicated feelings.

Isn't it just peachy that Cinderheart and Lionblaze COULD have been good parents all along? They just weren't, for you?

Hollylark is their half-sib through CinderxHolly, and Snaptooth and Flywhisker are adopted half-sibs through ToadxLion

When Fallenleaf learns the full story, she feels sorry for how the two were treated. She would controversially support Dovewing's leave; but she isn't the type to do huge confrontations anymore. Since her time as a Tyrant, she has a sort of godly, detatched air about her.

So there wouldn't be any chewings-out of her brothers. She doesn't have that sort of confidence in her own judgement anymore. Trying to control others and tell them how they should sort out their problems caused the Kitty Bronze Age Collapse lmao

[11queensupreme11]

"Waiting..."

"...that voice, it's can't be-!""

"Waiting..."

"mom?"

"Waiting, Percy when you come home I'll be waiting

Even if you're the last thing I see I'll be waiting..."

"I'm right here, mom!

Can't you see?

I'm (waiting)"

"Waiting..."

"I took too long..."

"I'll always love you"

"And ventured too far"

"I'll stay in your heart"

"While you were-"

"Waiting, waiting, waiting..."

"..."

"Bye mom."

This is from Epic the musical, underworld saga, song is "the underworld", it's a rlly great musical of the Odyssey that I'd 100% recommend, if you don't know the song, the blue text is Percy talking so u can know who's saying each thing, I only changed the name part, aka "Odysseus when you come I'll be waiting")

Ok, imagine if time passed slower in ror!universe or Percy just spent enough years in ror!universe for pjo!Sally passed away(maybe like in epic the musical, by a broken heart, or other reasons) and finally arrived home, thrilled to see her mom, but gets the news that her mom passed away, she begs to go to the underworld to see her last time, even if it's just for a few minutes. (In epic the musical, what the dead are saying is their last thoughts, so Odysseus mom/pjo!Sally was thinking abt Odysseus/Percy in her last moments) (what would actually happen is maybe her mom gets revived or they at least hug unlike in epic the musical but shh)

(I love torturing my girlie)

(This took me so long to write pls notice it)

i was originally contemplating about having the time in ror verse be slower or faster than the pjo verse, but i changed my mind cuz i didn't want percy to miss out on the fun of being tortured by hoo events :D

ok now back to sally,

you know how only really good souls can go to elysium? like, ppl who died a heroic death or "lived a good life" (according to the wiki). well, i always got confused on that, did good life just mean be a decent person?? cuz that seems like a decent good ppl would just end up in the fields of asphodel. i feel like for mortals to go to elysium, they would've needed to die heroically or lived their life impacting the world in a positive way, and sally would definitely fit the bill!!!

BUT LETS SAY SHE DIDN'T. she did a lot of good things, but not really good enough to leave an impact (which is so untrue lol), BUT LETS SAY HADES COMES IN CLUTCH AND SENDS HER TO ELYSIUM ANYWAY (cuz he's a tsun tsun)

and because he's such a tsun tsun, when percy finally gets her ass back to the pjo verse, he allows her some time to see her one last time before giving a proper goodbye 🥺 percy's saddened, but she knows 10000% that she'll see her mom again in elysium when she dies 🥺🥺🥺

ORRRRRRRRRR

realistically, if enough time has passed, EVERYONE percy cares about would probably be dead cuz gaea rose to power and she wasn't there to take part of the quest to take her down. idk what'd happen to hades, but imagine returning home and realizing everyone you care about was dead, YOU COULD'VE PREVENTED IT, and there's no way to see them because hades probably got fucked over too when gaea rose 💀

[alicentsultana]

Some modern!kids lore:

- I feel like Aegon hates school from an early age he's more street smart than book smart. Which leads to him dropping out and moving away from OT to KL, working in somewhere like a bar or club? It fits the alcohol addiction plot. I think he has a complicated relationship with Alicent because growing up he saw how she was treated by Viserys but also at times maybe Alicent would be frustrated and grabbed at Aegon's hand a little too tight and it'd hurt him and when she realises what she's done she had a full blown breakdown hugs him and keeps saying how sorry she is. Rhaenyra and Aegon...they have a complicated thing too on one had he's her brother on another he's not Baelon he's Alicent's son sooo.... Also picture Criston getting a call from a jail in KL, Aegon's gotten arrested for being high, drunk and getting into a bar fight he didn't call Alicent ofc because he's fucking ashamed of himself, begs Criston not to tell his mom. Criston calling Gwayne and both of them catching the next flight to KL, they take Aegon to a rehab back in OT and have him get his act together.

- I feel like Helaena and Alicent have a close relationship basically the sound "a boy is the son of France but you Mary Theresa shall be mine" Alicent trys to keep Helaena far far away from everything and wants for her to be happy in her own lil bubble. I think Helaena and Rhaenyra would get on somewhat too because Rhaenyra always wanted a sister so now she has one. Helaena probably studies entomology.

- I think Aemond is somewhat Alicent's overachieving baby boy, he learned how to walk&talk sooner than all of his siblings, he regularly wants Alicent to read to him... He doesn't go through the same things Aegon dose because at that point Alicent has become accustomed to motherhood, she's learned to hide the truth of how she's feeling from her kids... Rhaenyra doesn't care for Aemond tbh he's just another reminder of what her mother died for, a son. Aemond probably gets two degrees one in business and another in history, he ends up managing the 25% shares Alicent got from the divorce.

- Daeron is Alicent's baby he is such a golden river tail and always loves to laugh and smile, like you said barley knows or remembers Viserys, he's just happy with his mama and uncles! He's much more open to getting to know Rhaenyra too in a way since had no memory of her except in some family photos. I feel like he'd be into sports and loves fencing probably goes pro with it and wins a couple medals.

I feel like it'd be ironic if it was reversed tho, like Viserys gets older and sicker and the guilt catches on to him he keeps have hallucinating and stuff asks for Alicent or even Aegon on his death bed so Rhaenyra goes to OT to ask Alicent and her estranged siblings to come home to say goodbye.

I'll send a different ask regarding my oc just to not get things messed up

YES! I WAS DYING FOR SOMEONE SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THE POOR LITTLE GIRL + HEL AND ALICENT!!!!!

100% with Aegon story line, super him.

Aemond and Rhaenyra wouldn't even wave hands together if they saw each other across the street. He's the prodigy, certainly.

Daeron and sports is so him! He would be open to meet Rhaenyra, and anyone really, he's social butterfly.

Viserys is so problematic I want him to disappear already, but looking through this like I wouldn't mind following this line.

I love children lore, it's very rich.

[thedevilsoftruth]

Tomorrow: Shane's Journal

I had this idea for a long time, and that idea was to write 5 journal entries going through important time stamps of Shane's life. These entries are written through the lens of Shane himself, almost as if he actually wrote them. Nothing stated in here is 100% cannon. These are all simply headcanons I have of Shane and his life, and i hope you all enjoy it!

For clarity, I think Stardew takes place in 2016, given that's when it was released, and i also hc Shane to be 35, so he was born in 1981 in this fic. A little bit random, but that's just something to chew on.

Tw: This fic goes over very sensitive topics such as suicide, mentions of self-harm, shootings, depression, alcohol addiction, childhood trauma, and a lot of Atheism.

◇◇◇

September 8th, 1996

Hey god, if you're listening, why are you doing this to me? I've tried and tried and tried all I could, all day, every day. No matter what people threw at me, I still fucking took it because I didn't want to end up being a dead beat like my stupid fucking father. I'm sorry. I'm angry. What's the point of fucking living if everyday I'm in goddamn pain, and If all my nights are spent sleepless as I sob? I've prayed and prayed and prayed for things to get better, but nothing is getting better, and I want to die. The only thing good in my life right now is my gridball team. My parents don't fucking love me, I'm a failure to everyone I know. I'm starting to think this world would be better off without me.

God, please, help me. Guide me to a newfound happiness, please. I can't go on like this anymore. I want to have hope, I need to have hope. It's what Marnie tells me every day. But I can't if things continue to go to shit. Well, im going to lie down now. Tomorrow is a new day... right?

- Shane .H

September 10th, 1996

You're a liar, you're a fucking liar. Screwed up, fucked up, arrogant, selfish liar. I was blind to your lies, deceived by the promised hope of a good life, and yet you took my hope and smashed it against the wall. I hate you. I hate all of you. I want to cut myself and die as I bleed out.

Everyone is turning against me. Ethan wasn't there for me when I told him to stay outside my aunt's house last night. My mother tried to kill me last night, and my father wouldn't dare to bat an eye at me. I don't know what I fucking did to deserve this. Mom hurt Marnie. Everyone was screaming, I felt like my ears were going to bleed. I ran away. Mom tried to throw a knife at me, so I ran away. Ethan got me high before that and was supposed to stay outside of Marnies ranch for me incade anything happened, but he fled afterward.

They had told me they didn't want me at Marnies house anymore when they were gone. But I couldn't stop myself. They hadn't been home in a week, and I needed comfort. They are always fucking gone they are always never home or.... used to not always be home.

I stayed at Micheal's house last night. I went back to Marnie's this morning. My parents killed themselves an hour after I left. They did it in front of Marnie, and she couldn't do anything to stop them. They wouldn't listen to her. Marine is going to be my guardian. We're going to make frequent trips to Zuzu city for our therapy sessions.

I don't think I'll be going back to school. I hate myself. I hate my life. My parents died because of me. I wasn't a good son, I never was. Maybe if I had been better and didn't get high, sneak out, or get bad grades all the time, they would have loved me. But if there's anything I hate the most at the moment other than myself, it's you, God.

- Shane .H

November 27th, 2010

I thought I was getting better. I thought things were going to be okay. I haven't taken therapy since I was 20. I'm gonna need it after today because I'm having the biggest downward spiral since 1996. I started to believe again. I started to read the Bible and pray because things were getting better, but all of this shit coming back to me tells me that there is no God up in the sky. It's a joke. A stupid dumb lie that innocent people like myself get mind-fucked into believing is real. But it's not. It's a load of fucking shit.

God took away everything that I have ever loved in my entire life and hollowed out my soul until I was nothing, and left me with stupid fucking priorities that I can't fucking handle! I didn't want a child. Not now, not ever. This child isn't mine. How am I supposed to fucking provide for her, if I'm working 9 hours a godamn week at a fucking grocery store? Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

One second, I'm at a fair with my two best friends i haven't seen in years who are parents now, the other second they're killed in a shooting and I'm stuck with their fucking kid!

I don't want this, I don't fucking want this at all. Kill me, please, God. I can't even write this with how shaky my fucking hands are. I wish I never crossed paths with Micheal, even if it's been 12 years since I've seen him. I can't do this. I can't go on anymore. Tell me one reason why I shouldn't put a bullet in my head like my fucking parents did?! Fuck you, and fuck your stupid fucking cult, and fuck your beliefs, and fuck it all!!!

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2016

I love you, Marnie. I love you, Jas. I love you, Michael and Alejandra. I love you, Mom and Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a failure. All I've ever done to you all was bring you pain. I'm a dead beat. I don't deserve your kindness or your patience. I'm a fat, alcohol addicted, low-life, dick face who's never made any achievement in life. I can't even get myself out of bed in the morning. I black out almost every night from drinking too much. I could never get a good job here in the fucking town.

My life has brought me nothing but pain. Nobody wants someone lin their life who can't even do something as simple as brushing their teeth.. I'm nothing but a mere parasite, eating away at people's lives.

I'm sorry, im sorry, I'm sorry, but today is the day.

You won't have to deal with me anymore, and I can finally be free from this never-ending hell.

Goodbye, world.

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2018

2 years. I've been sober for 2 years now.

On this day, two years ago, I tried to end my life. I almost drank myself to death, but a farmer noticed me near the cliff and supported me. They brought me to a hospital, and I went back to Zuzu city to try therapy again. It's still embarrassing when I think about it. Those memories don't make me nearly as sad anymore, I just get... kind of embarrassed. It's like... wow, I was like that? What an asshole, hehe.

Well, my sobriety isn't the only thing I'm proud of.

Jas is eight years old now! I finally saved up enough to move out of Marnies and into the city. I got a new job, and I have a cousin here who is watching over Jas during the day after she comes home from school. She has a lot of friends now and is boy crazy... oh dear, I still don't like the thought of that. My hours aren't the best, but it makes me money and keeps a roof over our heads. I work on service tech. I didn't know I liked cars so much, haha! Everyone there is really cool and nice, and it's helped me with coming out of my shell a little bit.

On holidays, me and Jas go back to Stradew Valley to see Marnie. We have frequent calls with her, and I also make sure to pay the farmer a visit. Jas and I bake them cookies as a thanks for literally saving my life. Sometimes she eats them in the car...

Well, anyway, I start work in a little bit. Just wanted to let everything all out. Today is a new day, after all.

- Shane .H

[blueishspace]

The Watchers court case 2 p4

BigB: Is everyone back?

Martyn: Yeah.

BigB: Oh! Good.

Pearl: Tubbo? You can call the next witness mate.

Tubbo: Alright m'am.

XD: Who are you going to call now, another one of your friends.

Tubbo: Not really, I call Kristin to the witness stand!

XD: Wait, what?

Kristin: Oh hello there Toby.

Tubbo: Hi miss Death!

Kristin: How's your mother doing? It's bern a while since I've talked to Ianite.

Tubbo: Oh! She's doing great! Her and the Captain are-

XD: H-hello death.

Kristin: XD.

XD: You look...beutiful today? Did your hair...lose weight?

Kristin: ... So, Toby, why did you call for me?

Tubbo: I'm proe- per... I'm the prosecution against XD!

Kristin: Oh, I see. You called me because of the Limbo situation?

Tubbo: Y-yeah!

Kristin: Sure, I'll tell you what I can. Judges, may I have some tea?

Pearl: Of course lady Death.

Kristin: Thank you dear. *She takes out a bottle of alchol and pours it in the tea* ... ...What, do you know how tiring the afterlife is to run?

Tubbo: So, you run all the afterlives?

Kristin: Most of them yes, multiple universes.

Tubbo: And what about ours.

Kristin: Yes and no. Theoretically yes. *Sip* However XD had a plan to create a Limbo and I let him make one, unfortunately I'm not able to see into it.

Tubbo: And what were the conditions?

Kristin: That after a few years the souls ne sent back to me to go to the true afterlife for one. And that it did not punish or reward souls as the judgement comes to me.

Tubbo: ... So would a torture domain that warp times so people are stuck for decades would be infringing on the contract between you two?

Kristin: ... It surely would. Do you know of something like that XD?

XD: What? Me? No! No no no-

Tubbo: I call to the stand Ghostbur, Ranboo, Glatt and Tommy!

Kristin: Oh? More people? Why?

Tommy: Kristin?

Ghostbur: Hi mom!

Kristin: Hello dears.

Glatt: Wow, you summoned me here? I'm shocked.

Tubbo: It's not for long. I just want you to explain your Limbos to Kristin.

Ghostbur: Oh ... It's dark...and cold and humid. It's a train station but it's so cold... and theres a bad smell...

Tommy: It was nothing. Just. Blackness everywhere. Nothing to touch. Or hear. Or i don't fucking know, taste? I hate whoever created it.

Tubbo: It's that guy. *Points to XD*

Tommy: ...You fucking prick, why?!??

Glatt: Mine was a gymn. The guy that died for being unhealthy is sent to a gym ah ah ah, hilarious.

Ranboo: ... Water... I was in a small island surrounded by water could only stay still to avoid getting wet, couldn't sit...or lie down... I'm part enderman so I get hurt by water.

Kristin: ...

XD: It's not what it looks like?

Kristin: You'll need to pray to the judges to send you somewhere where I can't find you.

*XD gulps*

Kristin: Tubbo?

Tubbo: Yeah, miss Death?

Kristin: Call me Kristin please, and thank you for letting me know of this.

Tubbo: Of course Kristin!

Kristin: I'll give you a gift. Ranboo?

Ranboo: Y-yeah?

Kristin: Once you are sent back you'll find yourself back in the overworld.

Tubbo: Wait really??

Ranboo: U-uh! Thank you Miss Lady Death m'am!

Kristin: Now, I'll take my leave.

Grian: Yes, of course.

*The witnesses disappear*

Martyn: So... do the jurors have their decision?

*in the jury*

Sapphire: ... Guilty.

Mianite: Clearly guilty.

Monika: It's been definitely guilty since the halfway point.

Madoka: I hate to point fingers but yeah... Guilty.

Aphmau: Super Guilty.

Martyn: That was almost as fast as last time...wow. Then, judges?

Grian: Normally replacing gods is nearly impossible, XD's domain includes however only the dream smp server. I sentence XD to being stripped of his divinity and for it to be divided between Callhan and Foolish.

BigB: I sentence him with 100 years in my domain to make up for the limbo situation as well as an additional 300... Make it 350 years of community service afterwards.

Jimmy: Your domain being? For the record and all.

BigB: The backrooms, you must have heard of them.

Pearl: I sentence him to mandatory therapy to last until further notice.

XD: Oh that's not too bad-

Pearl: And to be stack for 1 hour in a room with lady Kristin.

XD: Wait no no no no! Please no!

*XD is dragged away*

Prev Next First

[where-the-water-flows]

character asks—hit me up with your hottest jiao liqiao takes

JIAO LIQIAO my best beloved nightmare failgirlboss. she cannot malewife for very long but by god can she manipulate and murder.

favorite thing about them honestly I love that she has a goal and she fucking goes for it, zero hesitation. is it a good, reasonable goal? well no. she would have been better finding someone to fixate on who was not somewhere on the utterly asexual to entirely homosexual spectrum, but y'know, can't win them all. A+ dedication, F- execution.

least favorite thing about them the laugh the laugh I know it is like, the most standard trope signifier thing but the high pitched ahHAHEHEHA laugh is always so jarring in a 'pulls me right out of the narrative' kind of way, I know it is petty but also oh my god please. please you sound like a second rate cartoon villain. please. On a more character less shallow note, bestie babygirl please stop playing with your food. it literally never works out for you, for the love of god. please learn your lesson after the eighth time it bites you in the ass. (also like on the one hand, I would love for her to not have a plot centered around how she is deeply unhinged for/about a man. but on the otherhand, like, idk, I think she's fun. terrible awful etc, but also, she's putting the fun in extremely dysfunctional <3)

favorite line look I love so much every unhinged word out of her mouth, especially the argument she has with snow master when he's like 'girl that man is gay/ace the magic incense amnesia did not make him suddenly not gay/ace he is Manipulating You' and she is like 'lalalala not listening he loves me also we both know that man can't/won't lie to save his life, also also if he is lying I'll mutilate him and keep him like a purse pet <3 but he's not lying. because he loves me.' I recognise that is not a line but like. you know what I mean.

brOTP uhhh I don't really know that she... has... bros. like I guess granny blood (rip), who is basically always full 'yes girl get your man he will def love you this time' in the manner of someone who knows that her friend is lusting after a guy who is 1)not ever going to be interested even if he wasn't 2)very gay/ace and is 3)probably mid at best in bed no matter how much her friend is like SEX GOD. like the most 'yeah girl go get your man!!!! (why that man though have you considered any other man literally there are so many other men) oh no, def the red lipstick, he'll love you in that (but why him for the love of god just buy a vibrator)' that said, I do think the wildly divergent au where li xiangyi ends up 1)aware of nanyin bloodline like. Early On 2) jinyuan alliance aligned, he and his cousin jiao liqiao would be a hilarious pair of nightmares. absolutely ends in disaster for everyone, including them and definitely including di feisheng, I have an entire stupid au vaguely plotted out about this, it is purely nonsense. compels me though.

OTP no<3 that said, like, obviously I do not want the boys to be mmmmm torture mutilated noncon wifed as the otp of my heart, but also, I think jiao liqiao deserves a harem of moderately to severely brainwashed/mutilated/etc malewives! as a treat! god forbid women do anything. I contain multitudes, the dirty joke here is left as an exercise for the reader.

nOTP shan gudao. I just. I think it would be a mess, and not even a fun one. like as an actual relationship I mean, not proxy fighting spy vs spy manipulation But With Sex kinda bullshit, that's fine and fun, but they are not romantically compatible except as a triad where the third part of it is the idea of the man they are individually personally psycho/sexually obsessed with. which I guess makes it like. a weird poly U, with two theoretical ends. weird poly u with them mostly egging each other on in their dysfunction, 100% fine, any sort of Actual Healthy Relationship, no. also, therapy. I think therapy would only make her worse, but on the off chance it did not, I don't want that for her. she's a nightmare! again, god forbid a woman do anything.

random headcanon she was literally never expected to take the throne, nor expected to be the primary way that her particular fork of the nanyin royal line passed down. which means she likely has at least one sister and probably a brother. I don't know if this is backed up or contradicted by canon, but also, she was raised knowing she was nanyin royalty (??) but also was allowed to just fuck off into the jianghu at age [mlc timeline is nonsensical]. like if that is your single heir of the bloodline you have been carefully keeping alive and aware of how they were The True Imperial Family, you are not letting said heir go out and get their ass killed playing with swords. therefore. youngest child jiao liqiao. no further questions, you know in your heart I'm right. less world logistics based, I think she absolutely can't fucking cook, but, crucially, feels that she is fucking aces at it. does she cook? irrelevant, also no obviously not, she is a lady of rank, we have servants for that. but, crucially, she feels in her heart that she is a great cook. not that she cares about it. but again, she is great at it. this is never challenged because 1)di feisheng, the one person I can see her lowering herself to actually cook for, does not pay attention to the taste of food unless he has amnesia, and thus he's certainly not going to be like 'you suck at cooking, ew'. 2) if you are not di feisheng are you going to challenge fucking saintess on her bad cooking? no! she will stab you in the eyeball with a chopstick.

unpopular opinion honestly I don't know that I have that many unpopular opinions on her. other than that she's fun. a nightmare and like, deeply uncomfortable as a character with how incredibly rapey she is, obviously. but fun! she is a problematic queen. terrible woman who really sort of stands out as one of the few of the main cast who uh...doesn't really seem to have any reason behind the terribad decisions she makes other than there is something Wrong With Her, but again, god forbid, etc.

song i associate with them Girlfriend, by Avril Lavigne; the early 2000s angry brat pop is just. so on brand. see also, so much for my happy ending. (also, this has given me the image of idea of early 2000s scene kids jinyuan alliance, which is the funniest fucking thing in the world to me. I don't know what sigu sect would be, but it's just so fucking funny.)

favorite picture of them quick and nasty screencap bc this response has already taken me two days, but like. the whole turn on li lianhua when he's in chains and she's like 'oh you're dangerous to talk to', I just. I feel so abnormal about it. she is so hot and scary.