#i didnt even post this on ao3

[poundstonaira]

Solid Silva ABC NSFW headcannons

A/N - this is from 2021 and I barely published it anywhere lol. I dunno I used to be obsessed with this guy now he's just... meh 🫤 and disclaimer : this is cringe

Word Count: 1000 on the dot

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Knowing the secret freak Solid probably is, he’d probably keep his junior inside of you while cuddling after y’all have done the deed. He doesn’t care.

If he feels disgusting or uncomfortable, he’ll probably order some maids and servants to prepare a bath for you and him. In the bath, he would hug you and whisper to you some comforting words. 

“You did me so well… you deserve a treat for next time.” 

“Mhm…” 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you: Your hands. The silver-haired could let out a random grunt just thinking about holding your hands while you are screaming his name underneath him, being plunged by his shaft.

On him: His eyes. You can’t help but just stare into his big, baby blue eyes most of the time.  They are just so addicting to look at regardless of what he’s doing. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Solid doesn’t like using condoms. With that being said, he feels more pleasure and enjoyment when he can actually feel your insides when he isn’t being covered by anything.

 So he’ll nut in you, on you, or in your mouth. As long as his cum is near you, he doesn’t care. 

Basically, if you don’t wanna get pregnant please get some birth control. <3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to see if he can try and suck himself off. He seems big enough to do it. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s experienced (in his own way). He has been with other women before you. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anywhere he can your face and hold your hands. (Missionary, cowgirl, etc) 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s pretty serious about this. This is probably one of the only times he can express his love for you to you without anyone around. He has you all to himself.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pretty well groomed down there. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It’s an equal balance between lust and love. For Solid, it’s not just about him feeling the absolute ecstasy of feeling you, it’s about him showing his love for you and just breathing you in. 

“Y/N… I love you so much.”

“Ah…  I love you too…” 

“Heh…” 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

5 times a week. He’s one horny bastard. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink, edge play, praise kink, degrading kink. Shall I elaborate more? 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom. Like I said before, he wants the moment to just be you and him and no one else to interrupt.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Hmm…

Liking ice cream in a suggestive way could have him bricked up. Praising him if he does something well. Him seeing you eat makes him drool (he’s thinking about you sucking him off).

Solid would lose his mind a bit if you were to let out a small groan while making out with him in his bedroom. From there, he’d carry you and just take you from there. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Though he is a spoiled brat, he wouldn't do anything that you wouldn’t be comfortable with. He wants to be sure that the enjoyment is equal and isn’t one-sided. His needs wouldn’t overtake yours.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s more on the giving side, he just loves seeing your reactions at every move he does. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood.

If he’s mad: R.I.P that pussy aye. He doesn’t care for your pleasure at that point. 

Sad: He’d go slow and rough, with A LOT of moaning from him. 

Regular: Fast and sensual

Drunk: Bye bye

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t mind that at all. 4 a week. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is a heavy risk taker. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This little horny bastard could go for 4 hours max, and maybe around 4 arounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He does use toys on you. Only you though, he just wants to see how you would look being pleasured by them. A satisfying sight to see for him. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Look at how he treated Noelle. He’s not nice. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s loud. He moans so much and its uncontrollable. The amount of moaning and whimpering he does when you’re riding him is crazy. He whimpers like a little bitch. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He wouldn’t say this to you for the sake of his ego but he wants you to peg him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

From his outside appearance, his body lacks muscle and fat. He looks relatively bony and all the meat and muscle has to go somewhere…

I would say 7.8 inches?  

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High as a kite. I don’t think Solid could spend a whole week without sex. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Men usually fall asleep first because they are letting out more energy after they ejaculate. So Solid would probably fall asleep on your chest as you would just stare at him with dreamy eyes.  You would also run your hand through his hair while he’s asleep.  

[introspectivememories]

was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-

[quadrantadvisor]

So I went to the Danmy Phantom tag on ao3, sorted it to only show fics from 2023 and 2024, and checked to see who the most tagged characters were

Batman is currently a more popular parental figure for Danny than either of his actual parents lol

[lesbianralzarek]

trying to not complain about the discrepancy between how much content fictional women and poc have vs the white dudes in every fucking fandom im in, because no one owes me fanart/fic and i can make shit myself, but holy fuck can any of you name a woman?

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Wait where do you post your writing cause I wanna read it if that's ok

unless you like DC comics, specifically Batman / the batfam, i doubt you'll find anything of interest to read On My Ao3! i have posted 53 works over the past few years and they're all That

but then on this blog, my tag Snippets From The Bog has little unedited tidbits/scenes from my more recent wips and imaginings. currently all of it is some flavor of Welcome Home

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Nine does a little Amy character analysis and she accidentally sets him up for a small existential crisis

[1,866 words]

———

Nine believed he had a pretty good read on people.

A very useful skill to fall back on when in a situation where fighting either isn't, or would be the worse option. 

How to say the right thing or turn to the right person who was carefully picked out as the possible highest threat, how to omit information or end the conversation entirely and so on and so forth, but all those skills very pretty much useless when faced with someone who wants to talk, just for the sake of talk. 

It pulled the rug from beneath him when he first met Sonic, and now Amy is kicking him in the shins.

Well, the thing is Amy does want information, but telling her how much sugar he liked in his tea wasn't exactly something confidential or potentially life threatening if she got it out of him. There wasn't any threat at place, except maybe getting poisoned (but that was baseless paranoia, hopefully), or a mind game to win. She was just talking into the wind or humming a song he didn't know. 

He felt like a fish out of water in the small dining area of Tails' workshop just now, so he kept his own talking to a minimum in favor of just observing. 

The answer was two and a half spoon of sugar by the way.

With a chipper smile, Amy carefully placed a tray with five mugs — one that was more like a vase with a giant ear — and handpicked that was than placed in front of him. A polite thank you and you're welcome later, Nine grabbed the still warm mug with both of his hands and let thermodynamics do its thing.

After a while, he took a careful sip and let the tea's full warmth wash over him. It had just a slight off taste from what he was used to, but that might be just the artificial soap-like aftertaste missing. By the time he was done taste testing, the hedgehog has turned back around in the kitchen cutting up a strange bread-shaped thing into thick slices.

Still keeping quiet, Nine nodded along to the whatever the hedgehog was talking about. Something about their little friend group rarely getting to have breakfast together for one reason or another so this morning was a special occasion and she was determined to get everyone behind the table.

It was a sweet sentiment, Nine inferred anyway. Taking everything into account, Amy appeared as innocent and cheerful as Nine could imagine a person being, though holding a giant kitchen knife added to her underlying threatening aura that took him off guard the first time he was met with it.

Sonic's friends were... confusing. 

For all the strength she harbored, the Blunt force weapon always stashed close to her somewhere and how quick to snap she was when something didn't go her way (or Sonic was being deliberately annoying, as he was greeted with right the first day here) — the way she carried herself was light, words sweet and kindness brimming from every wrinkle to the smile on her face. And none of it was necessary or faked.

At least not in a way Nine could tell.

He tried remembering anything and everything about her shaterverse counterparts, even the first nonsencial ramblings Sonic went on back when they first met just to attempt to dig deeper. Unfortunately, most details were lost on him. Back then it was hardly of concern to him, so he didn't bother keeping the info, but now he wishes more than ever that he did, if only to satisfy his never ending need for more information.

Amy's counterparts were competent fighters alright. All three of them got along almost instantly and they constantly bit a bullet for the other. It could've been just the pressure of trying to stay alive on the battlefield but that didn't feel like a correct assessment. They were also the ones that took Sonic the first half of the way back home so their power and efforts were hardly something to scoff at. 

Nine guessed it was convenient to keep a friendly facade, since as aforementioned knowing how to talk to people was always an advantag, if only for the connections that would prove useful in the future. And this world was hardly such a dystopian landscape where brute force was needed every day just to stay alive, so perhaps having the option for both fronts was just the optimal way to function. 

But Amy or anyone else didn't need to just survive to the next day, did they.

They had everything they could ask for, and more. So the most likely option out of all of this was that Nine was just going at this from a completely wrong angle.

By the time he abandoned his lackluster train of thought, there was already a full tray of some sort of sweet pastry placed in front of him. Approximately 18 pieces, five of them were covered by jam and the rest by a noticeable layer of butter.

Nine squinted at the food, trying to identify just what could it be from looks alone but came up dry with that too. The subtle sweet aroma from them was unbelivably tantalizing, and there was a lot of them, so one slice wouldn't be missed much would it?

He hesitated to reach for it when Amy's low voice suddenly registered in his ears again.

"...Wonder if it's something that shaken him up before he got here. Maybe he's just like that, it's fine Amy you could always just ask."

Nine made a questioning hum to catch the hedgehog's attention, and she froze mid collecting all the crumbs on her cutting board.

"Oh, nothing!" She turned on her heel with palms open and close to her chest as if caught red-handed "You zoned out for a bit and I didn't know what you wanted on your sweet bread so I just defaulted to butter. Then again there's nothing difficult to either add or scrape the topping to get the one you want, so it's nothing really!" She explained frantically and Nine had trouble catching every word.

Either way he understood, but this wasnt a problem in the slightest since he couldt have a prefference for something he never had.

It came clear the main problem was she was apparently talking to him and he didn't even register that. Pretty embarrassing blunder all things considered.

"Sorry for not responding. I was just thinking about uh, unrelated things."

Amy nodded with a shy blush creepingbup her cheeks and swiped the crumbs into the basin. "Ah I get it, Tails is the same. He gets lost in that big head of his all the time and then I barely understand what he says when he gets out of it." She chuckled fondly and finally sat down.

Nine placed the mug down to the table with way more force than needed, but the hedgehog on the opposite end didn't seem to notice. The feeling suddenly squeezing his chest was far away from fondness.

"He gets so lost in it, in fact, that he forgets to eat or sleep most of the time. So there's a high chance he might end up waking after noon again and I made all those extra slices for nothing." She grumbled and smeared a piece of the bread with honey before taking an annoyed bite. "Of course I could go wake him up but, the last thing you want to deal with is cranky tired Tails."

Nine did everything in his limited power to stay just as neutral as he was until now. So he took another sip of the tea and avoided looking at her or listen beyond the surface level to what she was saying.

"You surprised me though! I'm usually the first one awake for a long time when staying over. Sonic usually follows but he's out the door before you know it." 

It was fine, it wasn't a character observation, just a surface level behavior comparison with a limited frame of reference. Like it would be with any other person.

After a while of silently staring into his half-empty mug, it must've gotten weird as Amy's ears wilted a bit.

"Oh um, you don't want any?" She motioned towards the tray in front of him sadly.

"I do, just... I'll finish my drink first."

Somewhat of a save. Rember Nine, just act like a normal person would, it's not that hard.

"Ah, all alright then! Although... it's usually better when you combine the tea with the food as you go, but you do you!"

Well alright, apparently it is. Whatever. 

Nine took a few defeated sips while retreating back into his head.

He can't keep it up if just the mere mention of Tails' name anywhere near him sends him into a spiral, but what can be done about it.

Exposure therapy perhaps but, that made him interanly grimace. Say that it's bothering him and set that boundary and make it clear? Perhaps. Plausible. The issue is that he literally lives in the guy's house, so most likely not as effective as he'd like. He fought with himself to not audibly groan while he finally placed down an empty mug.

This time it was a sudden gust of wind dragged him out of his head while Amy almost jumped from her chair.

"Mornin' fellas!" 

The next thing Nine saw was the grinning face of none other than Sonic the hedgehog right next to him, and that grin was utterly infectious, melting most of his worries away. As is normal.

"Morning Sonic." Nine mumbled while Amy sprung to her feet with an outstretched hand reaching for the other hedgehog. 

"Sonic wait before you go-!" 

"Going where? I'm sitting right here." 

He nonchalantly motioned to himself sitting lazily on a chair next to Nine, and Amy's hand dropped.

"Ah alright then. Well! Breakfast!" She didn't give up completely though and ended up pointing at the table instead.

Sonic made a noise of affirmation that was probably something along the lines of 'don't have to tell me twice' and snatched a jam-covered slice closest to him.

With a mouthful he addressed Nine with a gentle nudge to his elbow "You're up early bud, hopefully slept better than yesterday." 

"Why does everyone commemorate me on waking up, come on." He groaned, though there was some humor to it. He rather not remember yesterday's debacle, but rhe sunshine attitudes of everyone around has already rubbed off on him unfortunately.

"Hey sorry on that, I'm used to living with a Big Brain that has a freestyle sleeping schedule that never meets the sun." 

Sonic wasn't even done eating the first slice before he took another one and Nine clenched his jaw.

"Right! Also though now it actually feels a bit mean since I mentioned the same thing." Amy chimed in, it was obvious they were on the same wavelength of who the conversation was about and Nine decided to keep it in just for a while longer. 

He needs to eat something first, so he can think and act reliably later. 

He'll figure something out eventually, he always does.

[herosplatling-replica]

something old, and something new. chapter two coming soon. please enjoy 🧡

[ninjasmudge]

people really will say shit like 'the fic i found hasn't updated in a whole month so i think its been abandoned which is a shame, i wanted to read more' like where do you even get the nerve

[skylilac]

im so glad i dont write fic on tumblr anymore genuinely its so hard to be a fic writer but esp in the kotlc fandom

[existencebringsonlypain]

someone tell me if this means Spamton can hold a lot of abandonment issues or a lot of fucking

[uldahstreetrat]

vague bits of writing I've started drafting for the beginning of Q'ihnn's journal if anyone is interested \o/

---

3 Sun, 4 Umbral Moon

Momodi had me helping some fresh adventurer today, a thaumaturge. Apparently she made a rather fiery entrance to the city and the Flames didn’t want her looking for work unsupervised. Most of the work was rather insignificant - handing out pretzels to guards, delivering a pumpkin, killing some coblyns, keeping some poor bastard from getting himself killed at the hands of the Blades. But parts of it were… odd. Papashan asked my help finding Lady Lilira after she had wandered off again and while it was easy enough to know she would be at the Sultantree, we were attacked by voidsent while we were there. Worse yet, this adventurer collapsed after the fight. She wasn’t hurt, it was that same stupid curse that I have. The odd visions. I saw it too, and once it would have made me collapse as well. She��s new to these. I hope they treat her kinder.

Equally troublesome was the appearance of the man named Thancred. I’ve seen him around on occasion and though supposedly he’s a scholar, he certainly doesn’t act the part. Frankly he seems like someone Ophianne would associate with, which is reason enough for me to be suspicious of him.

He appeared twice today, both at the Sultantree and after we were ambushed by the Blades and some strange golem. Both times the adventurer and I were struck with visions. I certainly hope he stops appearing so suddenly.

The adventurer and I are both lodged at the Quicksand for the night - while I would usually go home, Momodi insisted. I’ve never been able to tell her no. I fear I’m stuck with this thaumaturge for a while yet, and while I would prefer to keep her at arms length, as simply someone I’m handholding for the time being, it must mean more that she too is plagued by what plagues me. Perhaps I should start using her name. Allienea Shepard. A strange woman.

[grandwretch]

im sorry but you cannot attribute every single human behavior to capitalism. yes capitalism has shaped literature for the worst. yes the bookish world would probably be a better place without goodreads or booktok.

however the concepts of bibliomania and tsundoku were created in the 1800s, well before there were thousands of ads for shiny covers and celebrity authors being flung into your face. people were already buying more books than they could ever possibly read when books were still made with manual typesetting. you can't blame this one on amazon.

that's not even touching the fact that bibliomania is sometimes a symptom of ocd, or the existence of hyperlexia.

sometimes, people just like to do something, and it makes them act irrationally. and, yes, capitalism corrupts that. but to pretend that all human excess is because of capitalism is simply erroneous. you need to stop pretending that eradicating capitalism will make us perfect creatures free from hedonism oh my fucking god

[sickficideas]

understood || higuchi & akutagawa sickfic

ao3! 2.7k emeto/graphic depictions of illness sicktember 2023, day 4: hiding an illness (unintentionally)

Ichiyo has a very difficult time differentiating between the side effects of her stress and oncoming illness, but regardless, it's something she has to keep to herself at work.

"You're going, nee-san? Damn, we didn't even get invited," Tachihara huffs as Ichiyo checks her makeup in the bathroom mirror.

"You're a commander of a hit squad. You don't have any business attending something like this," she groans. Really, it's just an excuse to mess with Tachihara. It would have been a different story if Gin had said something about it. "Why are you in here, again? This is the girl's restroom."

Tachihara's busy digging some dirt from underneath his nails. "Yeah, yeah. You know you'd be bored out of your mind without me here, but whatever."

"Bored?" she scoffs. In reality, she's running off of a half hour of sleep.

Akutagawa told her about this banquet they have to attend last night before they parted ways. It's something he's known about for months and really has no interest in whatsoever, but apparently, the boss requested his presence there several times.

Akutagawa didn't mean any harm by telling her last minute. Surely, it's not a big deal to him, but to her, it's insane. In any situation she's in, she's a direct representation of Akutagawa. Her appearance, her behavior, everything that can be seen. She would personally rather die than make him look bad.

"Aww, you wish I was comin' with?" Tachihara snickers.

Ichiyo doesn't deny it. Really, the idea of going there as the only one representing Akutagawa makes her feel nauseous. She’s been nauseous all day because of it, and thinking about it more makes her gut churn. "Can you?"

"I'm just a lowly commander of the Port Mafia's most elite hit squad, remember? I don't belong in fancy places like that. I might just go crazy and kill everybody, who knows?" Tachihara teases.

Ichiyo frowns. "I did not mean it like that."

"Good, 'cause if you did, you'd be talkin' smack about Akutagawa, too. You know he'd be the first to do something crazy like that."

Ichiyo glares at him. "Tachihara, that is -"

"So inappropriate! Don't talk about your superior like that when he isn't here to defend himself!" Tachihara says in a mocking, high-pitch tone that does not sound like her at all, and he ends it with a stupid mischievous grin, like he’s proud of himself. He definitely said what she was going to say.

Ichiyo remembers why Tachihara goes on her nerves so much.

"Just messin' with you,” he says, hoisting himself up to sit on the counter. “Bet it’d be more fun with me there, though.”

“How many times are you going to tell me you’re jealous, Tachihara?” Ichiyo huffs. She feels her stomach churn again and she can’t hold back a groan back that time. She drops her mascara and overlaps her hands to press against her tummy with a pained moan.

Tachihara tilts his head, a brow raised.

“I don’t feel good,” she whines, a little panicked by how suddenly it’s come on. She drops one hand to brace the counter and presses a little harder with the other, worried she’s going to throw up right now. She lets up a watery burp into her closed mouth before she breathes out. “I’m nervous, I…”

“Hey, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Tachihara says, hopping off the counter and laying a hand on her back. It’s comforting. She expected Tachihara to sit there and laugh at her nearly puking from her anxiety, but it’s nice to know he’d rather comfort her. She feels a little better. She tries to swallow back the taste of stomach acid in her mouth. “You don’t need me there. It’ll be quick and easy.”

“Yeah…quick and easy…”

…

She really wishes Tachihara were here right now.

There’s hundreds of people here. Hundreds of people so high up in the Port Mafia’s ranks that she’s never been permitted to meet them. People with so much money that Ichiyo could never possibly see them in public. She has a duty to represent her superior here, and any slip-up would be reflected back on Akutagawa. To the mafia, Ichiyo is not Ichiyo. Ichiyo is an extension of Akutagawa.

“Are you alright?” Akutagawa asks her quietly, his eyes darting over in her direction as the enter the banquet hall. He’s wearing clothes he looks rather uncomfortable in, and he looks nervous himself, but she thinks it’s because he was asked to remove his coat.

“Oh, I’m fine. Yes,” she answers awkwardly. She’s definitely not alright. She’s overwhelmed as all hell and her stomach hurts a lot more than it should. Concerningly so. She sneaks a hand over her side and presses into her stomach for a moment, wondering if some pressure would help relieve it, but it doesn’t. It feels the same way it did in the bathroom earlier, and she nearly threw up in that sink.

“We won’t be here long. I’ll see who I need to see and then we’ll leave,” he tells her as he starts to walk off. She’s very lucky that her superior doesn’t like these sort of things either, but she can’t seem to convince herself that that’s fast enough. As she starts to walk with him, her stomach turns, and she resists the urge to groan from the discomfort. She hates dealing with anxiety like this, but this seems even worse than usual.

She feels her stomach roll as Akutagawa starts up the grand staircase, and she realizes that this isn't just anxiety. She's actually going to throw up.

A hand flies up over her mouth and she's already on her way to the nearest exit, which has to be the balcony of the floor they’re on right now. It's really not an ideal place to get sick at all, but it's far better than it happening inside here, with all of these people. She has to hope with everything in her that Akutagawa doesn’t notice. She’d die if he followed her.

Her free arm is pressed against her stomach as she darts away from the banquet hall, and she feels something splash up into the back of her throat that she has to swallow back, which only makes her feel worse faster. It’s hot and thick, but she’s not too worried. This already made an appearance in her throat on their way over in the car, but she swallowed it back before it ended up in her lap. Maybe she’ll be able to keep it down. She just needs some fresh air.

She leans against the outside wall with a desperate sigh, trying to take in some deep breaths in a last-ditch effort to calm her very upset stomach, but she realizes it’s no use. She feels it splatter in her mouth and tries to swallow it back, but that only makes it worse.

“Urgh…hhUURP - ”

With her next exhale, a torrent of vomit spills down her front before there's anything she can do about it. A hand flies up to her mouth far too late to make a difference, but she’s so shocked that she’s actually thrown up that she does it without realizing, and the hot liquid bubbles up over her tongue and shoots out, spraying through the spaces between her fingers. It burns, and she can feel it in her nose. Her face feels so hot that it’s making her dizzy. She’s sure she’s getting stares, she hears whispering - she’s thrown up all over herself, she must look absolutely ridiculous.

A wet belch morphs into a desperate hiccup and tears start to flood her eyes. This is nightmarish. The thick, slimy vomit coating her hand starts to cool as it drips down into the puddle beneath her, and her stomach is still twisting and turning, threatening to bring up even more. Saliva pools in her mouth and she leans over the puddle with her mouth slightly agape as another wave of puke comes up, aided by a thick burp. She shouldn’t have eaten before she left, maybe it wouldn’t have all come up like this.

It feels like there’s cotton in her ears, but the clearest thing she hears is Akutagawa’s voice.

Oh god. No. No, him seeing her like this would be worse than this happening in front of everyone else in the banquet hall. She feels her head start to spin and she’s dizzy and lightheaded and even more nauseous than before.

“I - I’m so sorry, sir - hic - ”

The colors around her blended together as they spin and eventually turn black, and she loses her focus on Akutagawa’s voice.

…

When Ichiyo wakes up, her throat burns.

She hates throwing up. She’s trying to stop drinking because of it. That’s her first thought. Was she drinking? She’s not entirely sure, but she knows she’s in the infirmary at headquarters. That can’t be right. She’s always at her apartment when she’s hungover. There’s an IV catheter in her arm.

Her stomach feels sore and empty. She lets out a quiet, pained groan.

And then, everything comes back to her.

She has to imagine they gave her something for her far-too-intense nausea, or else, she would likely vomit in her lap just from the memory. She’s lost most of it, but she remembers just how much she threw up at a banquet so important Akutagawa took his coat off for it. She whines, turning her head, horrified to see the man she’s thinking of part the curtain and walk in.

His arms are tucked behind his back, looking as regal as ever, with an unreadable expression. Ichiyo almost bursts into tears on the spot. He must be furious with her. She can't even begin to imagine -

"How are you feeling?" he asks. It lacks most any sign of emotion, but he sounds sincere.

Ichiyo was fully prepared for him to scold her right away for what she’s done, but there’s not even a hint of that in his eyes. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking at all, but she dismisses the idea of getting yelled at, just for a moment. She's frozen for a bit longer than necessary, eyes wide and unsure how to answer. She doesn't want to. She would much rather hide under her blanket and never be seen again.

But Akutagawa doesn't leave. He's still waiting for an answer. He tilts his head, silently asking if she heard him.

"I…I feel a bit better," she says, her voice scratchy. Honestly, she still feels rather nauseous, but not to the point where she’ll vomit. At least, right now. She assumes she was given medicine.

“The nurses told me you have a pretty severe case of the stomach flu," Akutagawa says. "I wasn't aware you weren't feeling well."

Ichiyo is relieved to hear that. It's much easier to accept that it wasn't a result of her anxiety, and rather an illness, because if her anxiety did that to her every time, she might really have to find a different line of work. It's good to know that Tachihara being there probably would have only made things worse.

"I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't…realize I was that sick," she says meekly, her head bowed. Don't cry, she tells herself over and over. Her eyes burn. She gets the impression that he's not upset with her, not at all, really, but she can't shake the shame hanging over her shoulders.

"No one saw anything,” Akutagawa says. Clearly he understands just what’s on her mind. She didn’t see how many people were on the balcony when she ran out there. Could it be that really no one was there? She finds that to be impossible.

"No one?" Ichiyo mumbles. She lays a hand over her stomach as she tries to sit up. The pressure helps a little bit, this time, so she leaves it there, pressing a little harder to soothe herself. "Are you sure?"

He nods. "I'm sure."

"But…you saw, Akutagawa," she murmurs, feeling tears start to prick at her eyes. She doesn’t even want to imagine what happened after she passed out. She’s sure that was even worse than when she was awake. The thought of any of it makes her cringe.

He shrugs his shoulders. Of course, she’s almost in tears, and he’s completely unbothered. "I throw up every other week. It doesn't bother me."

Ichiyo is very aware of that. He seems to vomit so often that sometimes he just continues on like nothing happened, but she knows for a fact that it bothers him because he's so easily nauseous. Seeing someone else throw up almost always sets him off.

Her lip quivers at the idea that he suffered because of her. "I'm…I'm sorry, Akutagawa -"

"No apologizing, Higuchi. Don't waste your breath on pointless things like that," he says. It's really a very Akutagawa thing for him to say, but he's right. She can’t change anything now, no matter how embarrassing it may have been.

"What about the banquet?" she murmurs. Her eyes fail her and a tear slips from one, and she wipes it away with her hand, hoping that she's discreet enough to avoid Akutagawa catching on, but he's observant enough.

“Don’t worry about that. Take some time to rest. And come back whenever you feel well enough. No sooner than that. Understand?" he says. He sounds more like a nagging mother than how he usually sounds when he’s actually upset with her, but she hasn’t heard that particular tone of voice from him ever since that day she rescued him. "The banquet doesn't matter."

It really sounds like he means every word of that, and it almost sounds like that last line might also mean you're more important.

She lowers her gaze with a quiet exhale, her eyes tracing the folds in the blanket over her lap.

"Understood, sir."

…

It's only a few weeks later when Ichiyo finds herself in the reverse of her situation - Akutagawa throwing up into a tall trash can in a hallway at headquarters, on their way back to their break room. She’s not sure what set him off this time, if anything set him off at all. She had no idea he felt nauseous. He seemed completely fine to her before they got here.

It hurts her to listen to, the way his breath hitches and the way he's trying to hold back whimpers as he breathes in, hoping those open breaths will somehow quell his nausea. He grips the sides so hard his knuckles turn white. Usually, when he's suddenly sick like this, it is just that - sudden, and he walks it off. But right now, he's clearly not feeling well. Ichiyo feels even more empathetic than usual, after what happened to her a few weeks ago.

"You should rest for a while when we get back…" Ichiyo says, a gentle hand rubbing his back. She hears him moan from the pain and discomfort before a muffled burp brings up another wad of stomach bile and saliva. He breathes heavily over it for a while, seemingly without any intention of answering her, which isn't surprising.

"I'm okay," he murmurs eventually, despite everything. He tries to stand himself up straight, but he's very obviously light headed. She's surprised he doesn't pass out right away, but her reflexes are ready to catch him in case he does. "We have…we have work to do."

"Please rest for a while. We can continue working when you feel well enough," she says, trying to mirror his advice from a few weeks ago. She hooks his arm into hers, and he doesn't pull away, doesn't even try to object.

He's quiet, and Ichiyo isn't sure what else to say. She thinks maybe she should backtrack. The last thing she wants is to upset him, make him think she views him as weak.

"Alright," he breathes out with a defeated sigh. He still feels tense, but she thinks that maybe he's relaxed just a little bit. These days, he gives into defeat much more easily than he did when she first met him - for better or for worse.

If anything good came out of what happened to her the other week, is that she can indirectly use that to help him, now.

[cowardstiel]

ao3 is down.

[mossflower]

loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

[cerealmonster15]

i finally made a folder of my google docs re: twst fics/plannings and looking at the names are so fun bc a lot of them i didnt use the final fic name [if it got published] so sometimes it's just a placeholder [especially if it's just notes/ideas and not a fic] and some dont have a title at all and just auto used the first few words of the doc so i have like

i think only like 5ish of these have their ao3 titles on them / on two separate occasions i named an apple juice fic prompt doc the same thing except for literally just one has an extra ! and they were like 2 months apart......... i even checked bc i thought for some reason the doc duplicated themselves but no, those are just two completely different fics, they just both happened to be Apple Juice Kiss Prompts jvdjfdsljg i didnt do that w/any of the other kiss prompt docs but. whatever i guess!!

it's a fun guessing game on looking at the titles and trying to remember which ones they are. they date back to like 2021 when i moved from word docs to google so i could more easily share them with my friend since i wasnt really publishing anything at first lol.