#not really sure how this new drawing program works yet tho

[encoreverie]

dissection of the heart

it's kinda sketchy and not extremely detailed, more abstract and messy to be honest and im kinda lost how to format and post this kind of art here?? i really need to get more info on it tbh

(full ↓↓↓)

[greenflavoredcyanide]

I Guess Blood is kind of Hot

Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories:

Gen, Other

Fandom:

Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels)

Relationships:

Strade (BTD/TNR)/Reader

Additional Tags:

Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Canon-Typical Violence, Nosebleed, Gore, only a little tho, Blood Kink, Sadism, Light Masochism, Kissing, Rough Kissing, Rough Body Play, No Sex, womp womp, Light Bondage

First time posting a fic here! Let me know how I can improve :3

It was a normal afternoon. As normal as an afternoon in this goddamn house could be. You don’t know how long you’ve been here, been kept here, but you’ve gotten used to the “norm” here. On Saturday afternoons, Strade usually had the living room reserved for his shows. He would sit on the couch with a few beers and watch whatever he wanted, it was his tv time. You were allowed to sit with him if you wanted to, but to be quite honest; you didn’t really want to. Not only were the shows he watched boring, but you didn’t really want to be seated next to… him… Even though you got as comfortable as you could get with Strade, he was still your captor. He was still dangerous, mean, and sadistic. He’s still the same man that has shoved blades deep into your skin, slashed you open, used power tools on you, etc… sure, right now he’s not doing any of that, he actually is behaving really normal right now, but you can’t just forget all of that.

You had your own room at this point anyway; it was small but comfortable. You spent most of your free time there. Either that, or in Ren’s room. You really liked Ren’s room, it’s colourful and comfy. He didn’t mind you being in there as long as you didn’t disturb him while he was watching stuff. You didn’t really care for any of the animes he watched, but you would occasionally watch with him when you were really bored. One thing that Ren had that you didn’t was a laptop. Strade doesn’t trust you enough yet to give you your own, you still had to earn that privilege. However, a privilege you did earn was having books and art supplies. You expressed to Strade some of your interests one day after he was done with work. You didn’t really expect him to do anything with that information, but to your surprise he came home with a sketchbook, a notebook, pencils, pens, and some graphic novels. These were your only other sources of entertainment. 

You were sitting on your bed, sketchbook open. Doodling some random characters onto the pages, when a feeling of unease washed over you. You felt like something bad was about to happen, you usually do. Maybe it was intuition, maybe it was gut feeling, but you were usually right. You paused your doodling and listened for the TV. It still seemed to be running a program, which means Strade was still occupied. You tried to brush off the feeling, getting back to drawing a character’s hair. With the free time you had, you often spent it making up fictional characters. Some were antagonists, some were protagonists, and some were in between. You had a lot of fun with them, making up silly stories to distract you from the hell you were living in at the moment. You were lost in thought about what personality to give this new one, when your door slams open. 

You jumped in your spot, yelping and spinning around on your bed to face the door. Your heart dropped as you examined the intruder; it was Strade. You gulped as you stared at him, looking over his body language. He was tense, hand still resting on the door handle as he stood in the frame. His chest was heaving, eyebrows furrowed, as if he just ran up all the stairs as fast as he could. To anyone else, he would look just plain ol’ frustrated, but you knew what that look in his eye meant; he was sexually frustrated. You felt worry build up in the pit of your stomach, worry for your safety. He came into your room, which means he wants you to help him, which usually does not go well for you. At all. 

“Get up, we’re going to the basement.” he announced, staring you down with hungry eyes. You paused your movements for a moment, evaluating your options. You really didn’t want to go down there. You know he hasn’t had any new play things in a while, so he’ll probably go really hard with whatever fucked up plan he had. Your injuries had just started to heal up, you didn’t want them to get replaced so fast… after you failed to move to the door, he spoke up again. “Don’t make me drag you.” you squeeked in response, immediately getting up from your spot. You didn’t want him to get the remote out, or pull you down by your hair again. You hovered close behind him as he led the way down, glancing over at Ren with begging eyes as you walked past him. You both knew what was going to happen, and Ren would rather it be you than him; which is fair, since you’d rather it be him than yourself.

After finally making it to the basement, you hesitantly stood in behind Strade. Usually you’d already be tied down or restricted in some way, but right now you weren’t restrained by anything besides the collar. He stood at the workstation, hovering over a few tools, probably trying to pick which one to use today. You gulped as he finally turned around with rope in his hand. You felt an urge to run hit you, realisation smacking you across the face. You knew this was going to happen, yet you walked right on down here! What were you thinking! You could feel your knees buckle as he approached you. “N-no- wait!” you pleaded as he grabbed you by the hair and shoved you to the ground. “It’ll be quick~” he coos as he ties your hands together behind your back. 

You attempted to struggle just a little bit, but he tied them really tight. The friction around your wrists reminded you of the first day you arrived here. You shake the memories out of your head, you’d rather not think about it right now. Before you could even really start to think of something new, Strade threw you down onto your back, your head colliding with the pavement. You groan out in pain at the contact, a ringing starting up in your ears as he pulled your legs and hips towards himself. Swiftly, he pulled out his favourite hunting knife from his back pocket and held it up to your thigh. You couldn’t stop yourself from shrieking in pain as he pushed the blade down into your skin, leaving a deep gnash on your upper thigh. You were surprised at how quickly he got into it. Usually he took it slow, he liked the build up of fear in your eyes as he taunts you; he must be really desperate right now. 

Before you could register it, he sliced again, this time lower. He continued to slash at your soft flesh three more times, huffing and getting off to your whimpers and pained noises. You expected him to do more, maybe cut your stomach or chest while he’s at it, but instead he tosses your legs to the sides and stands up. You look up at him through teary eyes, confused. I mean, sure, you were grateful he stopped so early but why? Why was he done? There’s no way that’s all- you were pulled out of thought as he yanked you up by your hair, earning a raw cry of pain from you. You just barely managed to get onto your knees when you felt a blow to your stomach. Falling backward again, you heaved, gasping for air. You didn’t even catch your breath before Strade sent his booted foot into the side of your abdomen, sending you barreling across the floor. Wheezing at the impact, you coughed harshly, a copper taste filling your mouth. Your vision was blurry with tears as you rolled over pathetically, trying to stabilise yourself. 

Over the ringing in your ears you could hear Strade laughing. Though, it wasn’t his usual sadistic laugh, it was more breathy; more desperate. You gasped for air as he tugged up your face by your hair once again. “You’d look so lovely with a beaten face, don’t you think?” he chuckled into your ear from behind. His breath was hot against your neck as he moved over your body, positioning himself to straddle your back. He pushed down on it as he held your head tight, causing you to arche in an incredibly uncomfortable way. Desperately, you tried to move your arms only to be greeted with the harsh friction of rope. You wanted to start begging, but before you could he shoved your face down into the cement. Really hard. You heard a crack as pain engulfed the entirety of your face, blood streaming down from your forehead and nose down to your mouth and chin. 

He lifted your head back up before quickly slamming it back down again. You couldn’t stop the noises from leaving your mouth, noises of agony. Your voice cracked as you let out a hoarse, loud cry. It gurgled in your throat as you heaved, trying to catch your breath. Strade was laughing again, this time it was his usual demeaning laugh, full of sadism and enjoyment. You could feel him get off of you, letting go of your head briefly so he could move around to your front. Once again grabbing your face, he examined his work. Your face was covered in blood; the skin in between your eyebrows was torn and broken, letting a generous amount of blood drip down. But that wasn’t what caught his attention, no, it was your nose.

It was obviously broken in multiple places, mangled and crushed. Blood streamed out of it like a waterfall, coating your lips and chin, dripping down your neck. Strade couldn’t help the tent growing in his pants at the sight, it was beautiful. The mixture of tears, blood, and spit gathering and your face alone was enough to get his blood own pumping; his face burning red. You stared at him with pleading, glossy eyes, you hoped this is what he wanted. You didn’t want anymore, you were out of energy. Your breathing was heavy as you were recovering from being winded, but his was heavy because he was excited. He couldn’t contain himself, this was so hot to him. He bunched up your shirt in his fist and pulled you in, slamming his lips into yours.

You were caught off guard, a muffled moan escaping you as he smashed his face into yours, he grinded against your leg as he moved his mouth with yours. You wanted to push him away, but your hands were bound together, rope burn making the skin raw and ache in pain. A combination of both your salivas along with your blood mixing in his mouth really got him going. To him, it was a complete bliss; this is exactly what he wanted; what he needed. But to you, it was too much. There were so many sensations happening at once, you were getting over stimulated. You wanted to focus on the kiss, but your attention kept getting grabbed by both the pain of your open cuts and by the throbbing agony on your face. You could feel Strade through his pants as he grinded into you, he loved this; thrived off of this. 

He pulled away, the both of you gasping for air. Still holding your head in his hands, he licked his lips, getting your blood off of them. He huffed, staring down at your still bleeding face with lust. Your eyelids fluttered, giving him unintentional bedroom eyes. Strade laughed again before pulling your face closer to his. You were expecting another rough kiss, but instead you were met with his tongue running along your lips. He then licked up your blood, smacking his lips as he lapped it up from your chin down to your neck. He moaned into the base of your neck, his face now covered in your blood. You couldn’t think, your mind clouded with too many thoughts and feelings. 

With the combination of Strade licking and sucking at your neck and his rough grinding, you could feel yourself get increasingly more aroused. Even though you were in extreme pain and discomfort, a part of you liked it. You liked the attention he gave you, how you made him feel so much just by simply bleeding. A fucked up part of you wanted to keep bleeding for him, to keep him on you like this. You were pulled back into your senses as the warmth of his mouth lifted from your skin. You let out a soft whine at the loss of contact, to which he chuckled. “Enjoying yourself too?” he mocked. You couldn’t stop yourself from nodding, pleading for him to continue. He hummed in amusement, running his tongue over his lips to collect any remaining blood. 

“I’ll humour you, since you were so good for me~”

[banana-pancake5]

Soooooo What's Peni's favorite.........soup? 👀

Okay but seriously for Peni:

Hobbies? "idle animation" what does she do when she's standing/sitting still? twiddling fingers, The Leg Bounce™️?? Colors she wears/favorite colors? and ofc bc this is tmnt: Signature weapon? 👀 And finally: Best way to bond with her brothers? What did she find in common (or disagreement to the point of hilarity) that brought her closer to each of the bois?

This post got way too long so it’s under the cut!

Heheh

1. She loves hiking, digital art, graffiti, and making music! She has a tablet in her drawstring bag that she often draws/animates on and it has one of those beat making apps that she uses ALL the time. Ah, and she loves Origami (she learned from the foot clan)! She tends to make little Paper cranes and write little messages in them. Said cranes will be EVERYWHERE. On Donnie’s tech telling him to hydrate or something, on the leftover pizza box claiming the last piece, in Leo’s room notifying him that she stole his left overs, etc. (and sometimes theyre just for fun and don’t have messages written in them)

2. (Love this question SO MUCH) when she is standing for awhile she’ll start raising herself up on her tippy toes then back down (kind of like a little bounce that doesn’t leave the ground) and when she’s sitting she often finds herself practicing wrist/hand exercises (half the time she won’t even realize she’s doing it). Oh and when she’s sitting and listening to music she’ll tap her fingers as if she were making the beat in one of her apps (imagine clicking arrow keys on a computer to the beat of a song that’s basically what she does [heheh I used to this all the time])

3. Hmmm I’m not sure yet? Probably a mix of darks and pastels. Also not sure on the favorite color yet! I’ll make a r colored ref hopefully son tho :D

4. At the moment I’m kind of think she wouldn’t have one… like mainly she uses hand to hand combat if she’s in a fight? Idk (oh or maybe she specializes in origami ninja stars!)

5. (Really love this question too bc I honestly haven’t thought abt it too much!)

Mikey:

ART. They both have a passion for art, and while Mikey is more of a traditional artist, the both of them end up drawing together all the time. I imagine since both of them are the shorties of the family they climb up on each others shoulders to graffiti places in the sewer they can’t reach ^-^ (also they’re both the youngest siblings, they want independence, and they don’t like being babied <- all of these things come about for Peni after realizes she’s their sister and they start treating her like the youngest)

Leo:

They bonded over cooking …and by that, I mean Leo’s lack of skills and Peni’s bizarre recipes! Peni’s favorite food EVER is gummy worms, so naturally, once she heard of a Panini she switched out the meats with tons of gummy worms and cooked it. Leo walked in on this moment of genius and was HORRIFIED. He ragged on her about what a disgrace of food that was and she would fire back talking about how Leo can’t even make a SANDWICH without something burning. It sort of became a running joke with the two of them that resulted in Leo nicknaming her “Nini” (oh and in case your wondering, Peni LOVED the gummy worm panini, and Leo tried it and was surprised it wasn’t that bad, but he would NEVER admit that)

Donnie:

They bonded over tech and music! Peni didn’t know a whole lot about it but she was the second most tech involved person in the family so it worked out great any way. It’s a similar dynamic of smarts and crafts except Peni has more technical knowledge than Mikey. Peni will occasionally hang around the lab and check in on what Donnie’s working on, give some ideas, have an awesome idea for a new project, etc. and she also is Donnie’s go to person when he needs blue prints drawn! Oh! New idea! Perhaps Donnie builds her a piece of Holo-tech (like his little holographic screens) that serves as a literal 3D art program! Of course, she also uses it to make even BETTER blueprints for Donnie. And her and Donnie both really like electronic music, and Donnie likes listening to the beats that Peni makes :D

Bonus idea! I think it would take a while for Peni to even have a chance to connect with Donnie. After the invasion, Donnie would spend a lot of time in the med bay, but he mainly stayed in his lab after that. And after everything that happened, Donnie was just not open to talking to this complete stranger that broke into his home :/

Raph:

I think during the invasion Raph would be the one Peni talks to the most (since Raph was the least injured), so they sort of just naturally became close. Peni has someeee medical knowledge but not enough to help with the more serious injuries of the others; she would let Casey jr. take care of those major injuries while she took care of the more minor things. Raph was extremely worried about his brothers and was completely lost in the medical field so Peni would also help explain how they were being treated and what was wrong (I imagine Casey would be pretty blunt abt it which would not help Raph haha). Oh! PLUSHIES. As we all know Raph LOVES plushies (I’ve seen some stuff that’s canon abt it but I definitely headcanon a corner of hid room is filled to the BRIM with them), but lil ol Peni, having lived on the streets her whole life, never owned any (tragic, I know). When Peni first saw Raph’s mounta8n if plushies she grabbed one shoved it in Raph’s face and demanded to know its name IMMEDIATELY. From that day on she loved plushies and started gathering them for her own room (though she never got nearly as many as Raph)!

Yikes sorry for the long ramble!! I loved these questions, thank you so much for sending them!!!!

If anyone has any more questions or thoughts feel free to send ‘em on over :D

[slimehatart]

Hello everyone!

It's me again. Today, we'll be talking about group dynamics! One thing I'm always enjoying a lot in anime and manga is the often times beautiful bond and friendship of the protagonists. There are many different kinds of relationships - best friends like it is in One Piece, people who hate each other so much that they love each other as in Ranma 1/2, people who were friends in an instant like those in Dr Slump, people who are united by fate and grow to attach to one another like the sailor guardians in Sailor Moon... There are all kinds of group dynamics and it is probably very hard to make different people come together and have them be authentic friends.

(original Tweet: "Today's practice session's product. I tried to be faster again and could get this WIP done in ~40 to 60 mins. I'll probably colour it too.

Wanted to draw my story's group and their chaotic dynamic. They don't always get along but also love each other. :D", August 5th, 2021)

Well, as for me, I wanted to create characters who complete each other and who I would love to be friends with. Basically, each of my characters represents a side of myself in a way, so it's not hard for me to think about them interacting with each other.

There are very active and outgoing characters, such as Risebert, Liora or Miles. There are distant and suspecting characters, for example Ziyan, Sarim or Patra. But it is as a whole that I want them to shine. I think the group dynamic is very chaotic at times, because the party lacks some kind of leading figure.

(original Tweet: "I scribbled an update on the protagonist team of my story! Really want to do one digital drawing of them again in full colour since some designs have changed and new team members have been added!

Feel free to read the Alt-text for an elaborate description of some background info!", June 29th, 2022)

Sure, Liora might be considered the leader of the team. But she surely is not a great leader. Everyone can and will take their own decisions according to their personality, but as a community, they will look out for each other in a way or two. Having a leading figure is not bad, though. Luffy for example, is a great leader despite his goofiness. His friends respect his choices more often than not and acknowledge him as their leader. Conan Edogawa leads the Detective Boys with his natural leading qualities and earned respect of the other kids. There are badly written leaders, too, though. Yu-Gi-Oh's Yami Yugi helps Yugi be confident and successful, but there is kind of no reason for Joey, Tristan or Thea, Bakura and Mai to follow him so devotiously. Monster Rancher's Genki is kinda thrown into a leading role when in fact Holly is the one who brings the group forward.

(original Tweet: "Been drawing a little bit. With the tablet I have for studies, I tried scribbling, but the pen isn't really suited for drawing and I don't think I've seen a good free program yet, unfortunately (sketching w/o colours is fun tho). Also drew on actual paper again, it's so fun!", October 6th, 2021)

As you see, heaving someone in charge can be a very hard role to write. I like my protagonists to be on an eye to eye level, with everyone's motivation kept mostly equal at most times. When the party comes together and works on achieving the goals of one single member, they do it because they're friends, not because they're told to by a leader. So that's how I'm sticking with them for now!

I think there are many many layers that make a good group dynamic. It isn't enough for the whole group to work together greatly, I think. You also need them to be able to shine when they're on their own. On top of that, you need them to be able to come together in very small groups and get their dynamics to work out as well. This is the hard part, I think. Ranma 1/2 and One Piece do a great job with this. You can put two randomly chosen main characters together and they just feel authentically great together with no hesitation.

(original Tweet: "Quick midnight doodle trying to get into (digital) drawing again~", January 10th, 2022)

Miles is an outgoing, energetic character. But he will help Victorine with mundane tasks and I feel like it is going to be a genuine interaction. At the same time, Miles can go on missions with Risebert and both stand their own. Miles can meet up with Sarim and both, with their own different personalities - one carefree and the other a coward -, can still authentically feel like best friends.

I really need to draw more pictures with single members of the main cast together, because I really want to see those scenarios act out on paper. It is a fun thing to imagine and I think they all work. It doesn't have to be all lovey dovey between them, though. For example, Risebert and Ziyan, much like Zoro and Sanji, have an unspoken rivalry going in between them with one being outdoorsy like a dog and the other reserved like a cat. I think it's fun to watch friends bicker amongst each other. It makes me appreciate them even more when they have each other's back in hardships. This is something the Sailor Moon anime does really well, too. I loved the season 1 finale with everyone dying one after another. When Usagi and Rei were the last girls standing, their interactions felt so genuine and authentic... All thanks to their constant arguments when they weren't in danger before.

I think putting together characters who are polar opposites is a great way to shake and freshen up the whole dynamics and friendship formulas! Figuring out one main characteristic of each character can help putting them together to create the right dynamics, I think. It's like mixing and matching colours, in a way!

(original Tweet: "As a German saying goes: "once the cat leaves the house, the mice will dance on tables" - if chief Liora were to leave for a few days, her team mates would try to fill her place in the guild reception.

I wanted to visualize how each member would do in today's practice session!", August 13th, 2021)

All those parameters can help you create a great group of individuals with each one having room to shine! I hope I can make my characters shine, too!

This is it for today's blog entry! If you want to look up a post to a specific character, you can check out the tags! I tagged all posts with the names of the characters I mention them in! See you soon!

[shtern-and-art]

"Skeppy will probably cry" "Bad will probably cry". Bish, screw, that I am crying!!!

This whole thing was bloody gorgeous and I wasn't expecting that ending. I had no clue what ending to expect but that was definitely better than any I could have hoped for. Forest spirit to soulmate your honour!

I was terrified that you were gonna leave it at the point where he loses the spirit and becomes mortal again. If you had I would be actively sobbing!!!! And oh my god, the art!!! I still can't get over how wonderful your style is.

Imma ask fun things because if I don't I'll sit in a puddle of emotion all night:

What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it? Poor Skeppy trying to answer 101 questions about something he doesn't really use XD.

Is no one concerned that the odd couple from a town they never name has a pet wolf??

Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while. Find hidden creeks and befriend bears?

Does Bad still have a connection to nature and animals, like are creatures naturally more trusting of him?

Do they ever visit the og town again?

Does Skeppy still cause absolute chaos in other towns or has he learnt his lesson and only causes minor trouble now?

Does Bad ever try and study again? If he did what would he study and would Skeppy try to study as well?

Does Skeppy steal? I dunno, he just give off the vibe of a naughty lil trickster who'll pocket something if the owner refuses to sell it him.

Immediately after leaving the forest what the first 'argument' they have (not including the car one)?

Would they ever ride horse? If yes, how terrified would Skeppy be?

Skeppy falls outta tree. I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me that this man has great balance until he climbs trees. They are his mortal enemy and Bad finds this both hilarious and terrifying because he is going to hurt himself.

I had waaaaay more questions than I intended to have. My bad '^_^ but this story was way too much fun to read and you are entirely to blame for making it so engaging!

Make sure to take care of yourself and do stretches after and during drawing. You don't wanna hurt yourself <3

AaaaI’m so glad you liked it! :D And, dang, man, I cried while writing that part too :D

And I promised a nice ending for the main story, I did, and this one also makes the most sense narratively! For the story I wanted to tell, at least. Bad can’t really become human again, he’s changed to much. He can only move on, and do something with what he is, and has. And he did! :D That’s really nice and inspiring, this story will always have a place in my heart, heheh <3

Being a guardian spirit connected to a person and all, Bad may be not as strong as before, but he can’t die unless Skeppy dies first. And Skeppy can do that, but he’s pretty sturdy, and his lifespan operates on a whole other scale than human ones. And Bad knowing Skeppy’s real name balances it all out, makes them equal in the power and influence they have over each other.

So hellyeah, soulmates for the win :DDD

I’ll answer all questions under the cut, and this close up from one of the pages!

1) What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it?

Probably a pager! Because it’s a more feasible thing to get than a wholeass computer Bad actually wanted :D An it means Skeppy will have to get one too, and that Bad will be having the time of his life texting him and everyone he can get a number from, even if they’re still in the room with him.

Poor Skeppy indeed, he can learn to appreciate the pagers, and later phones, too, and computers, but he really has 0 idea on how it all works and why Bad is so fascinated by it all.

2) Rat and regular people

Oh, she can shapeshift, just like Bad! If they’re out with people around, she takes form of a puppy, and Bad can pass her off as a weird mix breed rescue doggo.

3) Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while?

Oh, since they have no end destination in mind, they can ride around for a bit, go visit some cool places and roadside attractions. Sadly, Skeppy is probably not spiritually or morally ready to full on befriend wild bears yet, and they do need money for gas and snacks. So, at some point they will have to stop somewhere and find work – at least for a bit, to save up. Life’s gonna be a bit complicated with all that, until Skeppy figures out his treasure-finding abilities :DD

4) Bad and nature and animals

He is definitely still in tune with all wildlife! Even more – Bad could become a proper guardian spirit for Skeppy in part because, in a way, Skeppy himself is part of the nature.

So yeah, Bad can understand animals (and plants) and communicate with them; they’re just more free to not take his shit, and Bad’s emotions do not “possess” them unless he makes an effort to do so.

He doesn’t like doing it, tho.

5) Do they ever visit the og town again?

Hm, I think they will completely forget about it for a while, until, like, 30+ years later they will be going somewhere, and find themselves around those parts. And they try to not appear too often in the areas they’ve spent a lot of time in already (they can be pretty recognizable, and also barely show signs of aging). But it’s been a long time, and the town’s really different now… So they make a stop, and spend a day there. They walk the unfamiliar streets between the new buildings, check out the popular hiking trail, the advertisements for hot springs and winter activities. The old cinema is still there, and is hosting an all-night marathon of classic horror movies of the last century.

Bad and Skeppy leave the town after sunset – the day was nice, but they have nothing more to do there. They ride through the forest on a well paved road, with radio playing something barely above the whisper. And in the dark of hot summer night, Bad can see the white stag running between the trees alongside their car. Shadows dance over the shimmering light of it’s fur.

Somewhere after the towns border, the stag disappears back in the forest. But the air in the car stays light and fresh, saving the smell of old pines and dry leaves all though the night.

6) Skeppy and chaos

Well, after the whole mess in the main story, Skeppy definitely learned some lessons, especially about not being a dick :D

But the thing is – he can’t really help the fact that things tend to stir up around him a lot. He naturally brings in chaos into everything, because he is, in part, a personification, or an outlet for it in the world. And so, to feel, well and good, and himself Skeppy gotta do stuff that disrupts balance, and creates some mayhem. And in gave him a lot of trouble in early life, but in the course of the main story he learned that he can chose were he lets that chaos to take hold, learned what can come of that chaos, apart from utter misery.

Like, where it can help dismantle something destructive, and where – bring in the more positive change, that was already brewing, possible, but is stagnant for some reason.

Soooo, I can’t say Skeppy causes only minor chaos in his life, but he sure learns even more about not being a dick :DDDD

7) The studying

I think Bad will want to get a higher education at some point, because he wanted to, and because it’s already new millennia and all that. Bet he’ll go for something very technical and/or literature. Maybe he’ll start by piking up some classes in small time colleges, when they stop in one place for a while, and later get into an online program, because why not.

Skeppy is not a college guy at all. He’ll listen to Bad talk about it, read textbooks if he wants to, can research stuff, buuut going to classes and doing homework is definitely not his thing.

8) Stealing

Well, you’re right, Skeppy can and will steal stuff out of spite! And will be scolded by Bad for it, and will not feel (that) sorry about it. But real stealer between them will be Bad himself :D

It’s just… he has the corvid tendencies, and a hoard (a box) of sentimental mementos from different people and events, and the thrill of stealing something small and harmless is very exciting. Bad is very proud of his little collection. Skeppy finds it very adorable, a bit hypocritical, and kinda creepy. Like, that pretty box he gifted Bad at some point is now full of stuff like:

- pressed flower from the clearing they had a picnic at on their anniversary

- the button the waitress lost that one day the storm caused a black out in the whole town

- some small animal bones

- couple pretty rocks Bad stole from Skeppy’s pockets

- penny that was once glued to the ground

- a handful of teeth people (and not people) lost in fights with Bad

- pen from some fancy hotel

- rainbow dash keychain that belonged to a child

- the list goes on

9) Argument

Oh, that same day they’ll fight over whether they should stay at the really crappy and suspicious looking motel, or go sleep in a perfectly fine forest near the road. Ironically, Bad wanted to try out the motel (because, yay, first time spending the night back in civilization), and Skeppy was the one insisting on sleeping in nature (because the motel looks like it could give you 10 diseases if you even stand near it, and sleeping in the forest is kind of nice, and means they can cuddle).

10) Horses

The guys will probably ride them at some point. Well, Bad will ride, and Skeppy will sit on his horse and hope it knows what to do and where to go, because trying to make this giant thing do something seems dangerous. If they’ll have to actually go somewhere fast, Skeppy will not survive that day, his butt (and legs) will be dead for days to come.

And riding with Bad on one horse may sound romantic and nice, but all romance dies when the gallop starts.

F.

11) Skeppy and climbing

Skeppy is more down to earth kind of guy, more of a “rocks and caves” kind of creature, real-life lizard person or something. Up on the trees and in the air – not really his element, yeah. But it doesn’t mean that Skeppy will accept this fact easy. The embarrassment of never managing to safely make it down a tree is too strong, he just has to do it all over again, and again. And again. Because, clearly, he was distracted this time. And the time before that Bad was teasing him, and it “disrupted his flow”. And, really, maybe these trees here just do not like Skeppy much, and make him slip a lot. Yeah.

So, more often than not, if Skeppy climbs a tree, he will not stop climbing it until he falls, or the tree ends. Bad had to take him off high branches couple times, forcefully, because, of course, Skeppy was sitting there for 2 hours just to properly enjoy the sunset. He can climb down at any point, he just Choses not to. The view is amazing. The bark is literally part of his skin now, not because he holds on tight, no, he’s just Than Much one with the nature )<

---

Don’t apologize for the questions! It’s always so fun to answer them, and it makes me think more about stuff I may have skipped, or didn’t think about before. It’s really nice :3c

Again, thank you for the ask, and for being here for this story! <3

(And I’ll try setting timers for rest breaks while I draw, mb that will help)

---

In The Dark - masterpost

[oliviaischillin1204]

t2eb, day 20: “hysterical”

[this is actually lowkey p intense and kinda references tickling as ACTUAL torture, so be warned (it’s all consensual tho, don’t even worry about that) also i was largely inspired by this post by @fluffymary, specfically the part about Roman, so i’ve linked that for your viewing pleasure :3]

Roman had no idea how long it had been. At least a couple hours, if he had to guess, but his capacity for logical thinking like that was severely lacking at the moment.

“Fuhuhuhuhuck! I cahahahahahahan’t!”

He’d been craving something recently. Something deeper than the fun, gentle games he normally played with the other sides.

“Nohohohoho, ihihit tihihihihihickles!”

And he’d thought about asking one of them to help him, but something was holding him back. Not fear of their judgement, or the worry that they would take it too far.

“Wahahahahahait, wahahahahait!”

In all honesty, he was afraid they wouldn’t take it far enough.

“Ahahahahahahahaha!”

Roman had wanted to be pushed to his limit, past his limit, even. He wanted to be tickled until he reached his breaking point, and then he wanted to be tickled some more. He wanted it to be torture; really, truly torture. He wanted it so much.

And so here he was. The Imagination was a wonderful tool for the creative aspect to wield. It had allowed him to bring so many fantasies to life, so really, what was one more?

He hadn’t even had to verbalize what he wanted: as soon as he entered the space, he found himself spread eagle on his back, his wrists and ankles bound, stretching him taut and leaving him immobile.

There had been just a moment of hesitation as he tried to visualize how this was going to happen, but less than a second after he was tied down, two gloved hands were floating above him. Roman knew they were sentient enough to keep him guessing, but still under his control to the point that they would automatically stop the instant he wanted them to.

That knowledge made him feel a little less scared about the whole thing, so with that, Roman nodded, and the tickles had begun.

That was then. This is now.

By this point, Roman was a flushed, sweaty mess. His hair was completely ruined, his clothes had been pulled this way and that from his constant thrashing, and his voice was almost gone from the nearly-ceaseless screams he’d been releasing at the waves after waves of assaulting tickles.

As if it hadn’t been bad enough already, the feeling of the hands hovering at his elbows made Roman gasp. He knew what was coming, and he was torn between exhilirated anticipation and outright fear.

“N- no, nohoho,” he whimpered, his nervous smile returning as he craned his head to watch the hands begin tracing down his forearms. They slowly and softly wiggled their fingers, making sure to just barely graze the skin as they made their descent to somewhere much, much more ticklish.

Roman tried to watch both of them at the same time, but it was impossible. His eyes flicked between them, waiting with bated breath to see which one would act first.

He inhaled one last time. “Please-”

Both hands dove into his armpits simultaneously, and Roman screamed, tossing his head back and forth. For a couple of magical disembodied hands, they were expert ticklers, one drawing teasing spirals into the center of his pit, the other scribbling all five fingers at random against the soft skin.

Roman writhed, throwing his body back and forth as his peals of laughter burst out of him. He threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut tight as he cried out in ecstasy. So of course, the hands chose that moment of distraction to change it up: they both began drilling their thumbs into the deepest part of his pits at the exact same time.

Roman jerked his body so hard at the sensations, he actually managed to dislodge one of the hands from his underarm, sending it flying out in front of him. He curled his elbows as close to himself as his bonds would allow, shaking his head as he wheezed through his frantic giggles.

“Nahahahaha- nahahat thehehere, please!”

The hands froze, and for a moment Roman was worried something had gone wrong; he didn’t actually want them to stop yet, they were programmed not to stop until Roman truly wanted them to, so why-?

His thoughts were shut off as the hand he’d thrown off snapped its fingers, and he was suddenly aware of something binding around his chest. And his elbows. And his knees and his pelvis and his forehead.

Another second passed. He wiggled his body. Nothing. He tried again, straining against the new restraints. He couldn’t move a muscle.

Roman felt his breath quickening. He’d never been bound so thoroughly before. He couldn’t even raise his head from the table, couldn’t watch the hands anymore. He was totally at their mercy. They could do anything to him.

The realization made a spike of fear curl pleasantly in his stomach. His eyes flicked back and forth, catching a glimpse as the hand floated upwards towards his face, hovering just on the edge of his peripheral vision.

The hand trailed one gentle finger along his jawline, and Roman squealed at the electrifying tingly sensation. Then the hand patted his cheek once, like it was patronizing Roman, before it flew away out of his line of sight.

And right on cue, the two hands returned to their previous tasks, with the added restraints making the sensations feel even more tickly than before.

“Ahahahahahahaha- nahahahahahaha- ohohoh my Gohohohohod!”

His peals of laughter had barely started anew before he heard one of the hands snap its fingers again.

And then he felt the hands everywhere, on practically every inch of his defenseless body. 

One scratched underneath his chin and all over his neck, torturing Roman with the realization that the strap around his head kept him from protecting his neck at all. Occasionally it dipped around to flutter at his bright red ears, swirling a finger around the shell before returning to tease underneath his jaw.

Two were at his hips, alternating between pinching the bones and scribbling at that sensitive strip of skin right above his pantline.

Another two were stationed where his waistline met his side, ruthlessly tasering that soft little divot and making Roman howl, torso jerking uselessly against the sensations.

There were several on his ribs, he assumed, because he could feel way too many fingers crawling up and down his rib cage, each one taking the time to wiggle deeply in between each crevices, sometimes teaming up to massage a particularly sensitive bone all the way around.

Only one hand was at his stomach, but one was all that was necessary: its thumb was tucked securely into his belly button, vibrating the special spot with care, while the other four fingers all made sure to scratch and squeeze as much of his pudgy tummy as they could reach.

Four hands worked on his knees with an accuracy that would be impressive, were it not so awful: two pinching that one particular tickle spot right above his kneecaps, and two using their nails to trace designs on the undersides of his knees. Roman hadn’t even realized how much he wanted to move his legs until now, where the restraint managed to keep his knee perfectly still while somehow not covering an inch of ticklish skin.

He couldn’t even picture how many hands must be on his feet- there were way too many fingers, all fighting to dig into his arches and scratch at the balls of his feet and work their way underneath and in between every single one of his poor toes.

And, of course, there were the hands at Roman’s pits, his most favorite yet most hated tickle spot. It was his instant death spot, and everyone knew it- all anyone had to do to beat him in a tickle fight was to go for his pits. But in those times, he could always fight back, or get his attackers before they got him, or at the very least beg for mercy.

He had no mercy here. The hands were in tuned to his innermost desires, and they still hadn’t stopped. Roman didn’t think it could get any worse.

Until.

Until he felt two hands grazing somewhere new, somewhere he hadn’t even been touched yet. Somewhere soft, and delicate, and so, so sensitive. Somewhere so ticklish it made the rest of the constant tickling feel like background noise in Roman’s mind.

Because suddenly there were two hands at his thighs, fingers pressed right against that oh-so-special tendon where his legs met his pelvis.

Roman had the blink of an eye to process this development.

And then the hands squeezed. And Roman broke.

It was like all of the other sensations had just been the buildup to this, or maybe it was more like by distracting his nerves at all of his other tickle spots, the sensitivity of his thighs was growing more and more, just waiting until he was right at the edge of insanity to push him over.

Spots appeared in his vision as his laughter went silent immediately. Everything else was gone. All he could feel was that awful, awful pinching at the most ticklish spot on his entire body. No one had ever tickled him there before. He was completely unprepared for the unfathomably unbearable sensation. Over and over and over again, the two hands rhythmically and incessantly squeezing each of his thighs in unison. Roman strained against his bonds, desperate to do anything to shake those hands from that spot, but with restraints at both his knees and his pelvis, there was absolutely no escape from the tickles.

Well, there was one escape, Roman knew. The instant he truly wanted the hands to stop, they would.

But they kept going. And they kept going. And they kept going.

Squeeze, pinch, squeeze, pinch, squeeze.

Roman couldn’t breathe. Tears were streaking down his face. His entire body was contracting and spasming against the immobilizing bondage. He shrieked, but no noise came out- his voice had nothing left to give.

And the hands kept going.

The last thought that passed through Roman’s head, before he fully lost himself to this most wonderful torture, was that maybe the hands would never stop. Maybe he would spend the rest of his life here. Maybe he would lose himself to these sensations, and he would never come back. Only time would tell.

After all, this is exactly what he wanted.

[jamiewoolleyart]

I was wondering how you make your animatics? They're very beautiful and I'm trying to make one and it's a little confusing how I should go about it

hey thanks! So, I’m not entirely sure what part of the process you’re asking about, but I can give some general tips? (BUCKLE UP)

For what programs to use/how to compile it, you’ll probably have to figure out what works for you/is available to you, etc. etc.

For actually coming up with an idea —> to actually executing it, it def depends on your creative process but I can break down mine?

1) I’m the type of person that will have a creative revelation mid car ride or like in the dead of night lol, and whenever possible I immediately begin scribbling down notes & ideas bc I don’t trust my memory not to pull a fast one on me. I posted these sketches on my twitter for my last animationatic, which I scribbled down in my car in the disneyland parking lot before meeting up with my family haha bless their patience

these can be rly rough & tumble wild and only have to make sense to you! this little sketch was my fave to rediscover later ahahahha:

2) Next is thumbnails!!!! Crucial!!! Usually!! A few times I’ve tried to dive right in without doing them and it just turns out to be a convoluted mess….. plus it’s nice to have a place to draw like absolute garbage & its just mentally mapping out your drawings. My one for my Strawberry Blond/Life in Your Shape Animatic was kinda unique in that I fit it all in one page & also that really most of it stayed basically the same!! Only a few things in the middle changed, rly

you’ll see I don’t bother with clean lines or even squares or like if only one thing is changing I’ll just draw the new thing and not redraw the whole panel (ex: snufkin during “I give you a grin”). I also scribble a lot of “what if??” notes in the corners and alternate ideas

3) actually drawing it out!! I work in photoshop and to keep things simple each panel is its own file. sometimes just Starting is really hard for me so I make myself just draw ANYTHING with the promise that I’ll come back later…… for example lol…… the first panels w/ them lying in the grass were originally sO ??? not up to my standard but I was like “UGH!! WHATEVER!!” and didn’t know how to draw them yet, and I didn’t revisit until I had drawn like everything else, and by then it was waaaay easier to draw them!!

A lot of time though I won’t really do underdrawings (the thumbnails are essentially my underdrawings, plus animatics aren’t supposed to be super clean!!) tho if something’s distractingly messy I’ll definitely come back to it and clean it up.

Oh also Quick Tip:

the best tool in the entire universe for me for animation is the WARP TOOL (in PS, right click a selection, choose free transform, right click again & pick warp) it saves soooo much redrawing time and is a super fast sneaky way to give a drawing way more life with minimal effort. Yeah baby. (Don’t over do it tho, & I usually have to do some clean up, but yeah really good for subtle movements and is basically exclusively what I use for anything wind-blown)

Anyway I’m already regretting how long this is but there’s no stopping me now.

So by now I’ve drawn out all my panels, and during the whole time I’ve had the folder open in finder (I use a mac, not sure what PC equivalent to this is, some people use bridge? I hate bridge LOL) to click through my files to see if they’re working. there’s probably a better naming convention but I do this to keep them in order:

I’m always going back and adding inbetween panels when needed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I got called out in a recent class for having wack naming conventions eriuhgehgierhg BITE ME

4) ready to COMPILE THAT MF!!!!! I import everything into After Effects and do frame by frame animation there because I haven’t figured out a less tedious way where I still feel in control. I use a lot of comps & it’s a big process but very fun cuz then you can see it come to life!

5) At this point I’ll usually find big gaps in timing that I hadn’t realize and I have to go back and redraw/add more panels. orz ….. but honestly some of my favorite moments come from that!! This scene where moomin grabs snufkin’s hat was one of those… sometimes, despite your BEST efforts at planning, things turn out way different but that can be really fun!

Anyway that’s it, then i render & upload it Ha-cHa-ChA~!!!

(oh wait!! i forgot to talk about screen direction!!! ah well another time..)

Best of luck in your ventures!

[franeridart]

Sorry I’m still new to the Bnha anime . So have they taken a break or something? Do explain please?

Sorry, I’m not actually sure what this question means! But if you’re asking why there’s no anime airing right now, then that’s because season three ended and season four still hasn’t started!

Anon said:hey there! i love your linearts so much and i really enjoy coloring lineart/manga panels and i was wondering if you'd be okay with me coloring some of your lineart? i wouldn't repost it, i'd either just keep it to myself or i'd add it as a reblog onto the original post of yours. if the answer is yes, thank you so much! if it's no, that's okay, have a great rest of your day, and keep being talented & awesome :D

I don’t like the idea of you posting them anywhere, but if it’s just for yourself then I don’t mind at all! Thank you for liking my stuff!!!

Anon said:Have you considered… Honenuki x Kuroiro?

I guess I have now :O but I still prefer Tokoyami for Kuroiro, after all haha

Anon said:When I saw you drew something with hawks I almost passed out I love the way you draw him sksksksksksk

Thank you so much!!! He’s a lot of fun to draw!!

Anon said:That sero and Kiri with the long hair 😱😍

Glad you like them!! I’m especially fond of Sero, ngl!!

Anon said:yooo i know you don't care for the villains but i gotta say i love the way you draw dabi! i just love your style in general but i really like how you draw his scars and hair, i feel like it looks more angular than how other artists draw him if that makes sense.

Why thank you so much!!!!! I like Dabi’s design a lot so it’s cool to know I can do him justice!!

Anon said:I have a phone and no laptap and i cant see your faq,what drawing tablet and drawing program do you use?

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a very old very basic Wacom Intuos! The FAQ should be accessible by mobile too tho!!

Anon said:Can you draw more of the kiribaku kids? Please

Yes I can!! Thank you for liking them!!!!

Anon said:i am so in love w your art 🖤

Ah heck thank you so much!!

Anon said: Heeey! Your vigilantes AU is soooo cute. Are there any fic or maybe more art about it? I really love it! And your art too!! Thank you for the great art! (◠‿◠✿) ||  Oooo ooo and I love the way you made the relationship and interactions between Bakugou and Jirou! It's really cute. (vigilantes au anon)

A lot of people have mentioned wanting to write for it but as far as I know no one has gone through it yet! It’s a very impegnative AU isn’t it!! I should know, I’m the first who has pages full of ideas and not a comic to show yet! Maybe one day haha thank you for liking it tho!!

Anon said:Hi. You deserve the world imo. You helped me cheer up when I was feeling down. Every post of yours made my day better when I scrolled through tumblr. Thank you for everything. Bye bye 💖

TT^TT I’m so happy to hear this!! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Your art makes me feel warm inside, I love it!! So much!!!!

THANK YOU!!

Anon said:tumblr shows up to the 20th tag on search. just fyi.

That’s cool to know! Tho I might argue right now tumblr’s search doesn’t show jackshit! By the way using this very nice ask to let yall know that the search function on my blog isn’t currently working how it should, so if you can’t find something in the tags that’s why !!

Anon said:wow... i love your family au so much... you said you didn't like the palate you chose for mako but i couldn't disagree more!! i think she fits into the family beautifully! but anyways it's so wholesome and the best kiribaku art out there

AW THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I’m happy to know you like them TT^TT

Anon said:you were like the only artist that drew kiribaku like two years ago and for that you have my undying loyalty... thank you..... you gave me content for them before I became an artist.. also thank you for getting me into art :) I love your art style so much!

Was I!! :O it’s been so long I honestly can’t remember, but I’m happy yo hear you’ve been around since back then! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Your idea for the time swap with fantasy bakugou is so great!!! I'd love if you drew more of it

AH thank you so much!!! I’d love to draw more for it too, but I can’t promise it’ll happen sadly !

Anon said:oh my God your art is super cute!! you're one of my inspirations!

That’s so sweet and wonderful to know!!! Thank you so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:please don’t die

This is a super omnious ask, and I got it twice too 👀👀 anon what do you know that I don’t

Anon said:hi wow i just wanted to let u know that you’re art is fucking amazing and i absolutely love your blog!! just wow you’re so talented and amazing and i love you’re style and just love all your comics and just keep up the amazing work broski!!

THANK YOU SO MUUUUCCHHHHH!!!!!!! TTOTT

Anon said:Have you considered KamiMomoJirou?

Hell yeah I have!

Anon said:Bakugou and Kirishima as mermen are so beautiful. I wonder what Todoroki and Midoriya look like as mermen...

Overly complicated and requiring more time and motivation than I currently have, for sure haha but maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it! Thank you so much for liking the krbk!!!!

[unseelie-siren]

i'm not familiar with any of your ocs i'm sorry ;_; so how about a short introduction of all of them? i'd love to see that ♥️

I would love to! Sadly I have waaaaay too many ocs to cover all of them here. I do want to introduce you to some ocs of my main stories though!

I’ll do this under the cut

Please feel free to ask me about any of them anytime! 

 Well start with the story that has less main characters, only two. Their names are Jonathan and Derek.They’re typical high school jocks and play baseball!

 Jonathan 

 …is called Jon by basically everyone. He is a bit of an asshole and he is definitely arrogant. He is intelligent and he is definitely aware of it. He knows what he is capable of and will take no shit from no one. He’s that person that speaks out against the racist teacher, he’s that person who lets everyone know his opinion. And he has a lot of opinions.He’s sweet, but rarely genuinely so. He’s very rational in his approach and that can lead to him being cold and calculating. He also is a major flirt. 

 Derek 

 …on the other hand is just a really soft teddy bear. He’s been childhood friends with Jon since he moved there. They live only a few streets away, it takes them only a few minutes to get to the others house. There’s a playground between their houses where they like to meet. He likes to just let Jon do the talking and be rather passive. He’s really supportive of him and will defend him fiercely. He’s the type of person that whenever Jon gets up to one of his shenigans (because Jon tends to be mischievous) just shakes his head at them, rolls his eyes and tells him exactly why it is a bad idea. He definitely tries to talk him out of it, but he never succeeds. There is usually a fond smile on his lips though and he secretly doesn’t mind playing along. But someone has to point out why that plan is a bad idea okay??? 

 They’re the two protagonists for a ya novel I’m going to write. It’s going to be fluffy and short with maybe a bit angst I’m still undecided on the exact plot line. I do have basic sketches of them but only idea sketches. As soon as I have actual proper sketches of them I’m going to upload them on my art account ( @zhadyrart that is finally going to be more active hopefully) 

 Then I think I mentioned at some point that I have a really big project that I’ve been working on since seventh grade. It’s going to be a triology that is called “ragnarok”. It’s set in another dimension where simply said every mythological being and every god that there is exists. All my main characters are “Xi” which are people who have been blessed by gods. I could go on and on about this world and everything behind the Xi but that would take even longer. 

Helija 

 …is the main character. shes human. She’s really sweet and strong but not really independent. She grew up with an abusive mother and without a father in the city of creators. Everyone there is destined to create something new and most people create smaller things. Helija hasn’t created anything yet which is unusual for her age. She is insecure in her abilities even tho she is not bad at most things. She’s rather held back and doesn’t speak much. This changes the more she gets involved with the other characters and establishes her relationships with them. 

Sam 

…is Helijas best friend and one of the fae. Those two are one heart and one soul and if you let them loose there is going to be a mess. Sam is Helijas enabler and he is one of the few people who actually can bring her out of her shell and can bring her to overcome her fears and anxiety. They have been friends since they turned six despite not meeting until they were sixteen. They exchanged letters because they lived in different parts of the continent. That was part of a program of their mentor ship (which I could also elaborate on) which encourages Xi to form connections with other Xi. He’s funny and kind of a go wild character. He’s always up for anything but definitely also always here for you if you have a problem. He’s stubborn and can be hot headed from time to time. But he just wants the best for everyone and cares like crazy for his friends and family. 

Elahir 

…is Sams best friend. They have been childhood friends since their birth. He’s also one of the fae. He’s kind of apathic or at least he seems like it. He’s very focused on his thoughts and tends to overthink. He is also extremely stubborn and will always follow his own moral code. If something doesn’t fit with his morals or beliefs he’s not going to do it, no matter what it does to him. Later on he’s going to be Sams boyfriend. He’s non binary and uses he/him and they/them pronouns. 

Helena 

…is your wonderful girl that you all love. She’s pretty (she and Helija look identical despite not being related) and just has a personality that everyone loves. She’s nice, genuinely so and she is very supportive. She has her shit together and if you need anything organised you go to her. She’s from the city of gods (again I could elaborate) and grew up without parents being taught to be humble. She is being trained to be a temple woman. She is basically your perfect girl™️.She does have a mischievous streak though and if you encourage her she will come up with the wildest things. Of course no one suspects her ever since she is well how she is. 

Hector 

 …is basically the perfect boyfriend to the perfect girl Helena. There is looooots of pining for her but he’s such a respectful golden retriever puppy he never acts on it, especially since when they meet she just has gotten out of her last relationship. I’m basically aiming for a lesbian icon character lmao. Hes a real feminist and hes just super super sweet. He has all those thoughts about romance and love and he really is a true romantic. His and Helena’s relationship is fluff pure. Everyone is just really happy for them bc they really are just do perfect for each other. He grew up in a small fishermen village in a part of the continent (I do have a map but…) where it basically has a climate like in the arctis. He has zero clue about modern things and will be confused. He’s just really really soft and sweet and I love him.

Leanca 

…is the girl that Helena just broke up with. They just hit it off after years of fr.iendship, but decided on good terms that it wasn’t working out. It kind of broke Helena’s heart bc she’s a romantic but it was better for their relationship. They are now really good ride or die friends. Leanca is Helena’s enabler. She’ll just be like “he looks like he’s sexist” in a deadpan voice and look at Helena. It doesn’t take long and shenigans ensue. She’s incredibly cool and kind of reeeeally fit. She doesn’t show much facial reactions. She has a flaming sense of justice and will argue with you. Don’t challenge her to a discussion. She will win. And she is right. You’ll question your entire beliefs after a while because wow her arguments make so much sense. Very independent, very strong.

Illaya/Ilaya (not sure yet) 

…is an ancient being. She’s not really a god but she’s also not really human. (I don’t 100% know yet what she is actually.) she was the wife of uh well the now bad guy? Her mind has been tainted for hundreds of years and she turned into a mermaid like creature that lived in a lake. She grew sea lily like plants with which she lured beings into the lake where she would devour them. Some eldritch shit. When our protagonists “cleanse” her she returns to her old self and well realised that basically over thousands of years have passed since the land became tainted and she with it. She realises what her husband has become and mourns him. At some point she falls in love with Leanca. But a relationship doesn’t develop really fast because well she is still mourning over her husband and also she has a general crisis going on with all the stuff that has been going on. 

 Jack 

…is a character from the feral lands. That’s basically another continent and not many people from there come over to the main continent. He came because he was “scouted” and saw a chance to help his family. He’s really motivated by family. He is laid back and cool. He takes things calm and rational. He’s good looking and that goddamn smirk. (He’s a little bit underdeveloped since he used to be a shared oc with my brother) 

Olivia

…is Helena’s childhood friend. They grew up together in the city of gods. She’s a punk, she’s freaky and she is always here for all the energetic stuff. She’s great at getting people fired up, at motivating people, but she also is good at listening, even tho she doesn’t give the best advise lol. She gets together with Jack real fast. They just hit it off and run with it. Her hair is purple. She’s wild. (I’m also currently looking into adhd symptoms that she might have.) 

 There are also cosmic beings that are going to be very important to the story and several other characters but I decided to leave it at those because….. they are already a lot lmao. I’m drawing them so as soon as that happens they’ll be on my artblog. 

 I also decided to leave the characters of my third main project for now because four more characters. Feel free to ask about them though. 

 And thank you for this lovely ask!

[goodnightkisseu]

Tag Game~

I was tagged by @prettywordsyouleft on my main, ongsung, and by @this-song-thats-only-for-you on here, so I decided to just answer these here :3 Thank you both of you for tagging me <3 Love you both!

The rules are:

1. Tag the person who tagged you

2. Answer the questions.

3. Tag 10 people

Let’s get it started!

•How tall are you?

I’m ~157cm / 5ft 2in. I’m okay with my height, but tbh I look hella short next to all of my friends that are 165cm+ ;___; 

•What color and style is your hair?

I used to dye my hair a lighter burgundy (think Jaejoong during Mirotic) but it became hard to maintain that living in California. The sun is not kind to my hair ;__; So now I go a very dark purple-red. My hair just looks naturally black in most light... until I step into a place with natural sunlight and you can see the purple-red better :3 I’m pretty sure I have pics somewhere...

Style-wise... I’ve had it shoulder length before, and I liked that because it was manageable, but now I keep it long, about chest length with bangs :3

•What color are your eyes?

Brown

•Do you wear glasses?

Much like Chelle, I also have an astigmatism >_< I also didn’t used to like my glasses because I didn’t think I looked good in them ;; I’ve grown to like them tho, only wearing contacts every now and then. Which, honestly, is for the better, because I have such dry eyes that contacts do not help ;A;

•Do you wear braces?

I had braces as a kid. I wasn’t a fan of them, but I don’t have horror stories about them either. 

•What’s your fashion sense?

I... really don’t now how to describe my fashion sense lol. I work in a game studio so there’s really no need to dress up, but I guess I am on the dressier side? I like skirts or skinny jeans with a nice top, all of it under my over-sized work hoodie XD 

•Full name?

Ashley, though I’ve started answering to Ash too :) As a kid, letting kids refer to me as Ash was rough cuz of Pokemon >< And though I love the franchise, I did not really like the Ash Ketchum jokes >< Now that I’m older, Ash is fine. 

•When were you born?

I share a birthday with SuJu’s Eunhyuk :D I’m just 6 years younger than him, so April 4, 1992. 

•Where are you from and where do you live now?

I was originally from a smaller town in Washington State, then I lived on my own in Seattle for 6 years (school and work). Now I’m down in southern California in Irvine, for work :3

•What school do you go to?

I graduated 4 years ago (holy cow it’s been longer than I thought O_O)

•What kind of student are you?

Lolol I was that terrible perfectionist friend OTL Never missed classes, read the assigned reading (which most of the people didn’t in my classes ><), tried to get projects done early. But I also would procrastinate on things that I knew I didn’t need to spend a lot of time on? But I still wanted them to be done well? I was stressed as a college student. How I was a KPop stan and had a pretty good GPA coming out of college was a miracle x.x

•Do you like school?

I like learning. I like doing assignments to enhance my understanding. (Coding assignments were super, super useful! I love them even if the tests often kicked my butt) but I don’t like busy work ><

•Favorite subject?

I took a lot of programming courses cuz I majored in Computer Science. Those courses were a lot of fun, but I think weirdly my favorite class was one on Japanese Plays? That was pretty neat :0

•Favorite TV show?

Most of what I watch is anime or kdramas >< but I do love Doctor Who a lot :D

•Favorite Movie?

So I got asked this question recently and I had to think about it pretty hard. I think the film that takes the title of ‘favorite’ for me is Hero. It came out back in 2002, and it starred Jet Li, Donnie Yen, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, Chen Daoming and Zhang Ziyi. It was so beautiful and now I have to go re-watch it ><

•Favorite books?

I loved the Stravaganza series way back when. I only found out like 3 years ago that there were more than the original 3 so I may have to go back and re-read them :3

•Favorite pastime?

I love to write! Most of my freetime is dedicated to that and mobile games. >< I also love to draw, which I haven’t been able to do in a while >< Maybe soon...

•Do you have any regrets?

A handful. I will only go into depth if people want to know, lol. Nothing is serious. Just lots of little life things

•Dream job?

So, back when I was about 9 or 10, I picked up Final Fantasy X. I loved the game and the art so much that all I wanted to do was be a concept artist for games. Admittedly, I don’t have the talent of a concept artist, even though I do love to draw. I do work in the game industry now but in a slightly more technical sense. ^^ There was also a time I wanted to be a writer... but honestly... none of my stuff is publishing worthy lolol

•Would you ever like to be married?

I’d like to, but I haven’t met anyone yet. Plus, given how old everyone is at this game studio, I probably won’t find anyone here ><””

•Would you like to have kids?

Eventually?

•How many?

One or two. 

•Do you like shopping?

Yes and no. There are times when all I want to do is look for cute clothes. And then there are times when I just... don’t want to, lol.

•What countries have you visited?

Canada, Vietnam, Thailand, and the inside of an airport in Hong Kong and in Incheon when my family still traveled XD

•Scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of like... assassin/fighting type of dreams and I’m not having it, yo. I’ve also experienced the teeth falling out dreams, mostly if I’m stressed... which just makes me more stressed OTL

•Any enemies?

Not that I know of ^^’’’’’

•Any significant other?

Maybe some day...

•Do you believe in miracles?

I’d like to :3

•How are you?

I’m alright today. I’m a little exhausted, but happy too! I got a lot of tasks done at work and I’m wrapping up my last fic request. I’m also thinking of drawing one of the girls from the new mobile game I started. So overall things are looking up! :D I could probably use with a bit more sleep tho ><

I’ll tag @romeongs, @jinyoungmoans, @xiaojuxiyou and anyone else that wants to do this. I feel like most already have, but you can say I tagged you if you want to give it a go! ^o^

[kiwigoat-art-shitposts]

updates and new or whatever you want to call it

 updates

Currently I’m working on the a comic! Thank you @cecilofdesertbluffs (ply send me a link to your DA ) I don’t know when I will finish it , I’m still thinking what kind of style I should use , probably a style that isn’t that cute and eye appealing and I’ll probably use white , grays (more a lot of different grays) , black and reds (probably yellow and oranges too).  

a little too extra

I already talked about her but today I want to address the people choking and burning part is funny. One time ( whit that I mean on several occasions ) she said the following: The funniest thing to me is people choking !                            It raises several red flags! She also is interested in puppets in the way she said “I want to use puppets for murder” I’m not sure if she mean it but she always had those idea . She was actually happy that one of her ex - classmates landed in hospital because he got in to a car accident. And she portrays my mother to me as a bad guy when I tell her that I don’t want to do it (her stupid projects and stuff ; she asked me one to buy her Photoshop and some other drawing and animating programs and I told her no because I don’t have that much money ) , she tells me:” don’t listen to your mom follow your dreams , don’t let your mom stop you!”    

This not so much on her but the people who we meet, actually people who meet her at first and than me.The thing is that when ever she introduces herself she tells I’m doing animation and digital art and there nothing wrong whit that but the way she says that is kinda well she always says:” Hello! I’m a digital artist , I’m doing digital art and animation on my YouTube channel whit (number of subs)! “ And than she rambles about thing like not getting paid and talking about how awesome her current projects are. And when those people meet me they ask if I do animation too and I say “no not yet” and they look at me whit that disappointing whatever face and ignore me afterward , and this didn’t happen only one or twice but it’s just a daily thing, I’m also not a perfect friend ether as I’m always a coward and I always expect people to like when I buy them thing ( and not as a gift but as that they wanted and I bought it for them) , I expect that they would do that for me too. Often I can get aggressive or weird if I’m sick or didn’t sleep for days  and I also yell a lot when people ask me for the third time in a row the SAME FUCKING QUESTION!

Another one

For the last few months all I drew were cryptids and ponies and tho I like to do that I want to spice things up or let’s just say I want to add some JOJO in my art gallery , I’m always open to suggestions and anything , you can ask me anything you want or you could submit or something if you want , I love you all and I’m sorry I’m mentioning my “friend “  but I have no one else to talk about this openly but I fell really bad for doing this but it’s not easy for me or for anyone around me as I’m a piece of shit about anything! And if you fell like you have trouble too just let it out and tell.

[alien-origins]

                               💞 let’s start 2018 with loads of love💞

through this year i’ve gotten to know a lot of lovely people and i’ve had the chance to get to know some of them and some i hope to talk to more in 2018! you all make me so happy💞💞💞 and i’m so full love :(( thank youeveryone for brightening up my dash with your silly posts and support! 2017 was rough so let’s hope for a better 2018 now! writing ‘love’ this many times is hard for me being a aqua but my libra moon can’t stop!! i’ve written little messages to those i’ve talked to this year and i really hope i haven’t missed anyone i’d feel horrible, but i hope i get to talk to all of my lovely mutuals more in 2018 and i care about each and every one of you sooooo much!!💗💞💞 

i also want to share a few words that i learned at the start of 2017 that might be good for people to read now when things are rough and to keep in mind once 2018 starts! you can’t be happy every day, but there’s something to be happy about every day💓💗💓

                                     🎉🎊🎉 happy 2018! 🎉🎊🎉

💝@alphahailang jovi, my sweet child whom i love very much... i’m pretty sure you were on of the first people i talked to on here and i adopted you within 0.003 seconds. you’re one of the sweetest people i’ve ever come across and you care so much about other people, it’s really beautiful. i’m lucky to have you as a child friend, you really are the sweetest. every time i declare i want to protect you you always tell me you’ll protect me and you just make me feel all warm and cosy. thank you for putting up with my krisho spams and thank you for lighting up my days with your presence!

💝@1adyluck shit girl i still have a drunk ask from you in my ask box when we talked about yifan i think. and how can i forget the nasty round of would you rather we had in the beginning of the year when i sat at a café for a whole day until my ass died. you’re really kind and i always smile when i see your url and i miss talking to you but i guess i can try to do better in 2k18 with that! i hope you’ve had a good 2017 though darling!!

💝@bunmyun my fellow nordic binch whom i love... i always get so hyped when i find out that my mutuals are from up here bc we suffer in more ways than one. and i love yelling abt myeon with you and you’re so sweet and i love checking out what you’re doing on snap. we haven’t talked in a while and sjdoaish shit i’m sorry i really suck at holding conversations but ily sm my amazing gal and i can’t wait to yell abt kim junmyeon with you in 2018!

💝@crownkingzyx not to be a libra moon but ily??? you never fail to make me smile and is2g in some way all our conversations are laced with “i’m a aqua so...” and tbh a fellow aqua friend??? best thing ever. tho we can never get into an argument bc then we’ll just never talk :// aquas are so annoying ugh why are we like this? either way, we’ve talked for a while and i remember complaining about my school when we were sewing and someone changed the thread in one of the machines to talking abt kpop zodiacs and i love talking to you!

💝@bulba-suho-r :^) krisho huh, girl i promise you, i can feel it in my bones, that 2018 will be the year of krisho. we gotta get one fresh moment of them right?? this is the year! and girl, i love yelling about our boys with you :(( you’re such a nice gal that i love with my lil heart. let’s never stop yell about them and wow i hope this year has treated you good!

💝@taos-left-eyelid my child! god i’m so proud of you really :(( like you work so hard and i’m glad to watch you grow and help you when i can. you’re so sweet and adorable i’m really glad to have you as a child friend !! you’re the sweetheart and i’m just all happy when i see you on my dash, but i swear to god if you try ramen with milk i’m disowning you. your dad will have to take care of you after that :// i bet he uses milk in his rame :/// ily i hope you can take it easy in 2018!

💝@co-kai-ne askasjio like i feel like all i’ve ever done is send you weird asks and drawings and bothered you with furries since i followed you and i’d say that i’m sorry and i won’t do it in 2018 but we all know i can’t hold that promise. however!! you’re really chill and you make me laugh a whole lot! in 2018 me and myeon won’t come by at 6am to do yoga, we’ll be giving you and pcy some privacy!

💝@kai-aaah sis :(( my bunny sis as well i hope that the buns are glad and healthy and i hope that you are as well! i tbh will never get over your url, i love it so much and just like i love you sweetie! i’m lucky to have such a nice sister, when can i replace you with my real sister??? we can do a exchange program! and i can make you soup and we can talk bunnies! ily darling take care <3

💝@bbtoben ah big oh, idk we’ve barley been mutuals for a few months???? but damn do ily??? from writing in casp about how your father is a failure to planing a trip to korea! and honestly you’re so much fun to talk to and i get really happy when i see you reply to my messages, ily !! :(( you’re such a cutie and i hope things will be good for you in 2018 and that you can meet my bunnies bc they wanna meet you <3 take care now!

💝@ratbyun we haven’t been mutuals for very long but we’ve exposed so many kinks to each other i don’t think we can go back from that :// we have to stay like this now so no one can rat out the other haahah i love my attempts at jokes! it’s always nice talking nasties with you bc neither of us have any shame and that makes me feel at home and ily!

💝@saranghaeyeols sweetie you’re such a warm hug :(( the sweetest :( i’m sorry i haven’t talked to you much and tings got messy nowin the end of the year. but you’re really caring and amazing, i hope you’re taking care of yourself and get rest! all i wanna do is bake you cookies and hug you like you’re so nice it hurts me <3 ily and i hope 2018 will treat you good!

💝@princeksoo aaskjdoi my sweet child! i have no idea how to convince you that i’m not cool but i’m a huge nerd that loves you :(( i like talking to you the little convos we do have here and there, you’re just so cute and happy i’m <333 wow a sweet pea :(( all i wanna do is hug you and be here to give you advice in life even if most of it has been nsfw oh god what kind of mother am i??? i’ll gladly answer any questions you have in 2018 as well and take care in the new year darling!

💝@dwlwrma we haven’t talked all that much but i still consider you a dear friend and i care about you :(( you’re really sweet and thoughtful and i hope i can talk to you more in the new year and that you take care of yourself! <3 it was really kind of you to check on me and i can tell you i’m doing much better now and i hope you’re doing well as well!

💝@snowmanguk hey darling i hope you’re doing good and taking care of yourself <3 i love you loads and i really wish i could hug you, wrap you up in a blanket and take a nap with you? you deserve the whole world and i hope that 2018 will treat you so well because you deserve it so much and if not i’ll personally fight time (tao???) for you to be happy. take care and relax okay sweetie? ily!

💝@atttaboy :(( we’ve talked a lot this year and most of it has been rather serious i think but we’ve had cutesy light hearted conversations as well! and i’m so happy to see things go well for you <33 you mean a lot to me and so does your happiness™ i really hope that 2018 will be even better for you and that you can stay happy for long and that we we can continue talking! <3 ily darling!

💝@mr-kris-wu-yi-fan binch, i legit think i cried when i realized you were a kris stan from one of the nordic countries like??? i didn’t even think they existed? but here we are!! i love crying over kris’ dick with you it’s really nice actually and i can’t believe we haven’t seen it yet :// we deserve™ to see it and sit on it honestly. i’m so happy to have found a nasty kris stan like me and some day we gonna sit on his dick girl i swear...have fun in china and try to get him! <3

💝@fxrlife i’ve exposed so much to you i can never not talk to you now ashiuhdu, i’ve been a lil off the past weeks but i’m doing better and i miss talking to you. i need to yell abt nasty stuff and exo! also like i am gonna make that mood board i just got so much to do rn it’s coming up tho you wait!! you’re a sweetheart and so much fun to talk to, i really hope 2018 will be good to you darling!

💝@deathbykaisoo god i can’t wait to move to a farm with you with loads of puppies and bunnies! we gonna have it so chill and i’ll bring all my sheet masks and we can have such a nice time petting puppies and have nice skin :(( you’re a sweetheart and the times we talk i always get happy and i hope to get more of that in 2018, take care sweetie!

💝@moutonrose first of all i can’t believe that i found a mom??? for my whole life i’ve had the mom title and wow it’s amazing?? i love yelling about all our damn aus we come up with and i can’t wait to share them with the world askhdoiash. i’m so glad that you liked the care package from japan i got and you gotta tell me once you try the candy if it was good bc i only like the chocolate in that one really! you’re amazing and such a beautiful person inside and out ily :((

💝@lofiloey we haven’t been mutuals for very long??? maybe half a year??? but you always send me pics of daddy kris that make me cry and you gotta stop this!!! ok not really it’s a lot!! you’re a nasty and as your mom i guess it’s partly my fault :// you’re a kind soul and i hope that 2018 will treat you good because you deserve it!

💝@oshzt honey :(( <3 ily a whole lot and i’t been some time since we talked but i still treasure you so so much and i’m still gonna take you to gotland to watch the sunrise from the boat and we can chill by the beach and listen to the best summer playlist ever! you’re a amazing soft person and i hope the rest of 2017 was good to you and the start of 2018 is even better <3 can’t wait to talk to you more in 2k18 and yell in caps!

💝@glitzyeol darling shit i really do suck at holding conversations but won’t stop me from loving you! i hope you’ve been doing good the last part of the year and that you’ve been able to have fun and smile <3 you’re really nice and fun to talk to :(( i’ll try be better at talking to you in 2018! you’re sunshine personified and i always smile when i see you on my dash, take care darling!

💝@suho69 honestly we haven’t talked that much but you talked about space with me and i instantly hooked on and like :// your url?? perfect. you have a lil special spot in my heart and i hope 2018 will be good to you and that you take care of yourself!

💝@sehunsbff i feel like our mutualship is me annoying you in the reply under text posts??? we don’t talk all that much but i always smile when seeing you on my dash and you tipped me that kmodboard thing??? it was real nice you thought my work was good :(( and you’re a real sweet person and maybe i can be better at talking in 2018, either way take care and i hope the new year will treat you good <3

💝@04gf bby i love u so much i hope you’re doing good!! <3 god i haven’t talked with you for ages??? i’m so sorry abt that but i guess we’ve both been bussy but i hope you’re taking care of yourself and school is nice!<3 god you’re such a beautiful gal on the inside and out you light up my lil heart! take care and i’ll try do better talking to you in 2018 and i hope the new year will be good on you!

💝@xiuminscheeks we haven’t had that much of a conversation but you’re so sweet and caring it really warms my heart and i smile whenever i see you pop up on my dash!<3 thank you for being such a sweet person and i really hope 2018 will tread you well! take care!

💝@xiukitty how are you doing darling? i hope the last months have been good and you’ve had time to smile and have fun! <3 i hope you get time to rest and relax. you’re such a sweetheart and i’m so glad to have met you and been able to talk to you wow! thank you for being so nice and amazing you deserve the best 2018, take care sweetie!

💝@bright-black-blunder my sweet child, it’s been ages? i hope you’re doing good and having a good time! i hope that the last few months have been easy on you and that you’ve taken care of yourself! you’re really sweet, like wow such a pure soul ily :(( please take care in 2018 i miss talking to you and i’ll try to be better with that in the new year, stay hydrated and remember to have fun!

💝@suhosbulge i went back to look at our messages and the last thing was literally talking about keeping nut in a jar and nut diet and idk if i should laguh or cry. you’re fun and such a nice person i really hope to talk about nut more in 2018 with you wow. i hope you get to swallow some nut and take care :(( ily!

💝@trumpsluckylady hey i really hope you’re doing good! we haven’t talked in a while but i still care loads about you and you’re so much fun to talk to sorry i suck at holding conversations omg!! :(( you’re a darling and wow such a nice and neat person :( <3 i really hope you’ll do good in 2018 and that the new year will be good!

💝@niniandnoodul my dude :(( ily sweetie i hope you’re doing well! you’re such a cutie and you are really lovely :( we haven’t talked all that much but omg i feel like we have talked forever and i always light up when i see you on my dash and i hope 2017 has been good for you and that 2018 will be even better. take care sweetie ily!

💝@localgaylad we haven’t been mutuals for all that long but i remember i got a ask from a anon saying they shipped us and i had to check you out aiusgdus i hope you’re doing well and having a good end of the year! you’re neat to talk to and really nice! thank you for lighting up my dash sweetie, take care in 2018!

💝@suhosbread bro...where do i even begin? i wrote some no homo to you on christmas but shit i really appreciate you a lot and it feels like we’ve talked for forever even if it only was about a year ago? amazing isn’t it... you’re such a soft sweet boy and wow i’m lucky to have you as my bro :(( <3 2017 has been rough but let’s make 2018 good and let’s continue complain together and can’t wait to see what work you have for 2018 and to watch you have fun :(( a lil homo but ily a whole lot, thank you for being such a wonderful person like really :((

💝@jinsflower girl, first of all i miss you but i hope you’re having some sweet ass time in korea now! it looks so amazing and god i wish i was there with y’all! you’re like such a sweetheart for real, you’re such a libra and wow :(( thank you for being such an amazing friend and let’s have so much fun in 2018 when we graduate and all! <333

💝@exogege we talked a lot in the beginning of the year and i hope the rest of the year has been good to you and you’ve had fun! you’re a whole load of nice things and i really hope 2k18 will be good to you and you can have loads of fun and do what you want to do, take care sweetie!<3

💝@chanhee

we haven’t talked in forever i’m a bad person i’m sorry :(( you’re really fun and you’re so sweet but i suck. i hope it’s been good though, and that 2018 will be good to you! and i can’t believe the last thing we talked about was how damn short i was wow, iconic?? 

                                           💗 123 - e 💗

 💞 @7deer-ofthe-dawn7💞 @baekshitbyun💞 @baekstockings💞 @bebebyun💞 @bunnyleader💞 @baekiexing💞 @bitchasschanyeol💞 @buzzcutsoo💞 @citruscake💞 @chogihuns💞 @cyberksoo💞 @chanyevol💞 @chonyeol💞 @chilyeol💞 @cuntykai💞  @daesaurus💞 @exoblesso💞 @exordiam💞 @exoistheuniverse💞

                                             💗 j - z 💗

💞@juhyeol💞 @joonmeow-ing💞@junmyeon-please💞 @junmyonenie💞 @kardsine💞@kaihunnies💞@kimjonginsmom💞@littlephoton💞 @luflute💞 @mochibobohu💞 @my1ady 💞 @sakura-gucci-panda💞 @suhocentric💞 @shinelike-hobi💞 @suh01💞 @shimmie-shimmie-kokobop💞 @taem-jinki  💞 @taegnsic💞 @wheatleyoppa💞 @xiaoluxury💞 @xingmi4life💞 @yeogibuteora💞 @yifangalaxies💞 @yeolsofly💞 @yowlie💞 @zyex💞 

[fourteenacross]

year in review

Time for the year in review! I do these two surveys and the writing one every year, though the writing one is gonna wait until I have time to collect all the links and do the word count and everything.

Fandom 2017

1. Your main fandom of the year?

Definitely still Hamilton on the reading/writing front. In the "this is all I talk about" way, it was probably Great Comet or maybe Malloy in general because I still want to talk about Ghost Quartet all the time.

2. Your favorite film watched this year?

(Hahaha, in last year's meme I said something about finding Moana surprisingly moving and wanting to see it again. I ended up seeing it like, five times in theatres.)

But actual films that I actually saw in 2017 that weren't Moana. Probably Get Out. It's really a masterful piece of work in my very favorite genre. I made a zillion people see it. I still think about it all the time. And [vague spoilers] the bit where Rod comes out of the car is probably my favorite movie moment in 2017. [/vague spoilers]

3. Your favorite book read this year?

I can narrow it down to my top three, which were Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Star-Crossed by Barbara Dee, and Ghostland by Colin Dickey. The first two are completely unsurprising--Gentleman's Guide is my favorite sort of narrative, where there are exciting adventures and also a queer romance and everyone lives happily ever after. Star-Crossed is the book I needed when I was thirteen, and Ghostland is something I'm still talking about all the time.

4. Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

Did I listen to anything new this year? Oh, Ghost Quartet! Definitely Ghost Quartet, it was all I listened to for about two months.

5. Your favorite TV show of the year?

Oh god, I don't know? There was nothing I was obsessive over. New stuff that I liked: One Day at a Time, The Good Place, and...maybe that was it?

6. Your favorite online fandom community of the year?

idk. To be honest, I still don’t quite ~*~get~*~ tumblr (tho I had some nice conversations via the chat function, despite my general awkwardness as a human), LJ is dead, and while I connect with fandom friends and talk about fandom on Twitter, I don’t do that as much as I whine about my life. I guess AO3 has been great via comments received, but that also feels one-sided, as chatty cathy as I sometimes get when responding to people’s comments. Most of my fandom conversations this year have PROBABLY been over text?

^^^^ That's what I wrote last year and it probably remains true, except to say that I had a lot of gr8 conversations about my dumb fic with @lisapizza​.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

I don't think I had one, unless you count Ghost Quartet.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

Everything that happened around the end of Great Comet. I'm still angry and heartbroken over it.

9. Your fandom boyfriend of the year?

I'm changing this from "your TV bf" and "your TV gf" because I just don't watch a ton of teevee anymore. Still, even with that change, I'm not sure I have a fandom boyfriend right now. I have been pretty anti-dude this year. OH, I guess unless you count Lucas Steele getting all up in my biz on stage when I saw Comet in August XD

10. Your fandom girlfriend of the year?

Probably Brittain Ashford or Morgan Marcell.

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year?

My entire Chicago trip was pretty great, including seeing Karen as Angelica which was WOW. Seeing Malloy as Pierre. The final performance of Great Comet in a ferris wheel with @lisapizza​ @charmingpplincardigans​ and @chiasticbees​

12. The most missed of your old fandoms?

Mostly I miss having close buddies in fandom. I miss texting @pearlo​ every dumb fic idea I have and planning trips and parties for people to come do fannish stuff together.

13. The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

I’m p mono-fannish, so I’m good for now.

14. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

Oh god, I don't know? Heroes, probably. It's weird not doing DragonCon this year. Um, Hamilton in Boston. Whatever happens with Moby Dick. Black Panther and A Wrinkle in Time. The Simon vs. movie.

***

General 2017

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Went on a non-con vacation with friends! Recorded a live podcast episode (twice!)! Uh...probably other things?

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

+ Read more adult books

Aahahahaha, if I did that, it was by like...one. So no.

+ Keep track of good things that happen

I started this at the end of the year? But I did not start in January, so much of the year is lost to my shitty memory.

+ Make a writing schedule and try to stick to it for at least a month

This did not happen.

+ Be better with money–pay off half the credit card

This also did not happen.

+ Go on more dates

This also did not happen. I did go on some, but not as many as 2016 and I spent a large chunk of 2017 dragging my feet over asking someone out instead of just...asking.

Next year:

+ Come up with a better way to track reading/writing/finances + Set up some kind of writing schedule + Cook more often + Schedule at least a couple days a month that are designated "get nothing done" days, so I have at least a couple days where I'm not an anxious mess over not doing enough. + Go somewhere new + Go on more dates--there will be more kissing in 2018, I stfg.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Caitlin had a baby! I still haven't met him :(

Did anyone close to you die?

The only person I can think of is Sara, a con friend who I know through several of my closer friends. It was weird being at con without her.

What countries did you visit?

Just the US. Hoping to change that in 2018. I did go to ATL, Charlotte, and Chicago, but even that feels like less travel than I normally do.

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

I’d like to feel more on top of things. I’d like more organization in my life. I’d like more sleep. I’d like a girlfriend.

^^^^ Keeping that answer from last year.

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 21 and the Women's March, which was amazing and energizing. June 13 when we saw Malloy as Pierre and that whole weird weekend. September 3 and having the final performance of Great Comet in a ferris wheel. (And also crying my cosplay make-up off all day like a nerd.)

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Staying alive? I feel like this was not a particularly strong year for achievements.

What was your biggest failure?

The whole year feels kind of like a fuzzy grey blur. I feel like I can come up with nine hundred failures, but none of them were particularly bad.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I started the year off with a broken foot and also with a cold that lasted almost a week. The usual brain stuff was worse than usual thanks to the state of the world. I got glasses.

What was the best thing you bought?

Tickets to Great Comet and Hamilton and Ghost Quartet and Ghost Light and all the other shows and things I saw. My trip to Chicago. My skeleton onesie.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My friends. A lot of excellent activists.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The American people as a whole and everything associated with our clusterfuck election outcome.

Where did most of your money go?

Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Chicago, HeroesCon, DragonCon, Hamilton, Great Comet, Ghost Quartet. Galentine's Day and my Great Comet wake and my Halloween party.

What song will always remind you of 2017?

I feel like this question is more aimed towards people who listen to the radio. My answer is going to be Ghost Quartet because I listened to that a lot.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? I would say that, overall, 2017 has been a sadder year for me than 2016, because up until November, my 2016 was pretty great. But this very moment right now, I think I'm probably slightly happier than I was in December 2016 because everything seemed SO bleak at that point, and at least now there's been some hope.

b) thinner or fatter? Same.

c) richer or poorer? Same.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing. Sleeping. Going on dates. Hanging out with people.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being depressed. Obsessing over stupid shit people said on the internet.

Did you fall in love in 2017?

Nope.

What was your favorite TV program?

For new stuff, probably The Good Place.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Many, many people. THANKS, POLITICS.

What was the best book you read?

See above for more details on this one.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Ghost Quartet.

What did you want and get?

Cons, brunch, travel, various tickets to things, my skeleton onesie.

What did you want and not get?

Impeachment. A girlfriend. More sleep.

What was your favorite film of this year?

Get Out

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32! I had a party and we played Drawful and @lisapizza made me a beautiful cake!

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Any sort of fix to our current political mess.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Retro-y dresses.

What kept you sane?

@ginthusiastic @pearlo @caphairdadbeard @isjustprogress @intrikate88 @lisapizza @charmingpplincardigans @anachronistique @chiasticbees @brilligspoons and the rest of the Boston crew whose tumblrs I don’t know/remember, and the DCon crew and Great Comet and Hamilton and GBBO and social media breaks.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Brittain Ashford, Morgan Marcell, the entire cast of The Last Jedi.

What political issue stirred you the most?

It's hard to pick just one when the whole country is on fire.

Who did you miss?

Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last three years, but I’m keeping it because it’s still true.]

Who was the best new person you met?

I’m trying to think of actualfax new people I met? I can't think of anyone?

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

No one cares about facts.

Quote a song that sums up your year:

I will try to forgive myself for living in the dark for my loss of wonder for forgetting how to play

I will try to forgive myself for being absent in public and bored before stars

for not remembering for not being in my body for not starting right now I will try to see myself as I am

[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Roundup: 2x06 “ Death Proof”

Okay so here we are, back at it.

So first of all does Jughead just live in that white tank top now? I just don’t dig it and I honestly need him to put a proper shirt on. I get that he lives in a trailer park or whatever but it’s just trying too hard for me.

So Betty is racing down the street to the five seasons and you know she’s frazzled because her hair is down. She arrives to the St. Clair suite to see Nicky just chillin in a bathrobe with his fucked up face and she’s honestly shook that he isn’t dead yet. I don’t get what her plan was here? Did she think she was going to burst in to find his dead body or like the black hood mopping up blood stains? If she was going to stop the murder wouldn’t the first step to have been to call Sheriff Keller? Thankfully Sheriff Silver Fox is already on the premises ready to take names. Despite the drama of this whole scene I just can’t get past Nick in the bathrobe, he looks like such a little bish. He should not be brooding with that much ankle exposed so casually, it’s just not fitting.

By some mercy of God Betty has learned how to put her phone on silent and I am so very very grateful. I could not take one more round of “ lollipop”.  Archie texts betty “ You up?”  like the true Fuck Boy he is but honestly it’s like mid morning at this point so like what’s the game arch?

We see Penelope sitting down with the Lodge Loons to discuss the Nicholas issue and she’s such a stone cold bitch and like not in an iconic Alice Cooper way. What a heartless Wench. Also how is her face not fucked up? How is she not completely messed? From the first episode I thought that she was going to be bedridden but like she’s fine. Not even a scratch. Okay we see that her arm is burned later but like come on? Did Mark Sloan himself come back from the grave to reconstruct her horrible burned face back to sheer perfection?  

Toni and Jughead are having breakfast and she’s all like “ Yeah we aren’t going to happen. I don’t want to be your rebound” even though the second that Jughead was like “ Betty isn’t in the picture anymore “  she was all up in his business. So like what’s the truth Toni?

Archie and Betty are coming to Pops and Betty claims she won't be answering the blackhoods calls anymore but I mean come on that sounds fake. She also claims that the people “ at the farm” are going to help Polly disappear for a while. What kind of farm is this that they take in Wayward pregnant teens and also double as a projection program? They see Toni and Jughead eating breakfast together and it’s honestly drama.

There’s an emergency meeting at the cooper house where Alice basically tells everyone that their kids are trash and huge whore’s but that Betty is an angel. Kevin learns that Bughead is no more and is honestly shook. It’s so going in his blog.

Josie’s mom is ready to lock her in a tower for taking “ jj” and decides to clear out the south side in retaliation. Archie races to South Side high to be Jugheads knight in shining armour, but Jughead just assumes he’s there to break up with him again and is v pissy about it. The cops burst into the school ready to arrest anyone wearing leather and Archie basically has to drag jughead out of there by his ear.  Also Sheriff Keller and his boys are pure fashion in those hats.

Veronica doesn’t want to tell her dad about Nick getting handsy with her because she knows that Daddy will straight up murder him and not even think about it. Kevin is very disloyal to Betty honestly. I get that he’s friends with Veronica as well and that Betty was super bitchy to her but he’s only known V a few months and Betty is supposed to be like his ride or die. Could he not at least hear her out for a minute before slaying her with alliteration?

Black hood calls Betty and she obviously picks up even tho she said she wouldn’t because she’s a fucking liar. Black hood is like “ Infiltrate the dealers. Find the supplier.” sending betty out in search of the Sugar Man.  For once Betty realizes that she isn’t in the FBI and is literally a fresh 15 and reminds BH that she’s “ Just a high school reporter” and he’s like “ I don’t give a single fuck. Infiltrate the dealers. Find the supplier.”

Archie is willing to break up with Jughead for Betty but he wouldn’t get back together with him for her so he tell’s Jughead to go talk to her.

Betty rolls up to the new Thorn Hill to find Cheryl lounging in a bathing suit, reading a book and enjoying a little spread. Here’s the thing. What month is it? There was literally just snow everywhere and Sweetwater River was frozen. School hasn’t been in session that long. In theory is should be like November/ December ish if that.  But here Cheryl is in a bathing suit, everyone's walking around without jackets,  and everyone shows up to the race in like tanktops and shorts. What is good!?! What month is it? On the subject of months how many months pregnant is Polly? She was with the sisters for like 5 months right? And she’s been home for a good while so when are the children of incest going to vacate her womb and enter riverdale where they will probably be accused of murder or something by the time they’re 6 weeks old.

Betty asks Cheryl about the Sugar man and Cheryl is like “ Duh Betty he’s a scary story my crazy ass mom created. Try to keep up.”  Cheryl proceeds to rip Betty a new one about trying to ruin literally all of her childhood memories and shoos her away so she can enjoy her trail mix in peace.

Papa Andrews tries to make sure that Archie is taking care of Jughead and Archie is like “ yas i’m trying but it’s fucking hard”, meanwhile Jughead is slithering into the Goolies lair where Tall Boy  is chilling saying they should all be BFFs.

Cheryl goes through a box of her and Jason's old stuff and finds a crayon drawing of Sugar man and decides that he’s real. But like??????? How is that proof?

Betty and Keller chit chat about the Sugar Man and Sheriff says that Old Clifford was the Sugar Man so now it could be anyone and  they are shit out of luck.  Veronica is lurking in the background so she and Betty share some milkshakes and Betty comes clean about the black hood calls. She enlists Veronica to help her find the Sugar Man and now they’re tight again.

Jughead is pacing the trailer ranting about the Goolies and it’s really dark so I did not see Archie sitting there and I honestly thought he was just ranting to Hot Dog and I was like okay how very relatable. I bitch at my dog all the time. He’s a great listener. Archie suggests they go to FP for advice and i’m like yas I miss you come back.  He says they should challenge them to a street race and i’m like are you sure we shouldn’t just have another rumble at midnight. That worked very well the first time.

Cheryl tries to talk to her mom about the sugar man but her mom just calls her a crazy bitch and reminds her that she literally burned down their house so maybe she should just shut up.

The gang has to clean up this nasty ass park and Kevin is so disgusted by it that even he wouldn’t troll for stray dick there. Reggie and Josie awkwardly flirt and i’m like ohhh this is a thing now? Veronica ruins their romantic banter by demanding the number of Reggie's dealer. Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier.

So Veronica rolls up to the south side to get the JJ from one of the Goolies goons. I get that both gangs couldn't just wear straight leather but having the Goonies wear studs and animal print really just makes them look like jokes.

“ What about my change Asshat?” This wouldn’t happen if the dealers were kind enough to take credit.

So we see some of the Jingle Jangle production and they’re literally putting these things together with hot glue and i’m dying.

There’s a truly tragic exchange of Veronica, Betty, Archie, and Jughead all saying each other's names and then saying “ what are you doing here “ in unison and i’m like again with the scooby doo?

Jughead and Archie gotta take their bitches and skanks and get the fuck out, but Jughead having been a serpent for a solid 45 minutes decides he has the authority to bet the family farm and offers up their bar and the trailer park as collateral on this race. A bitch is ballsy.

Nick shows up at Pops and calls Nick “ Sharon” and I literally want to vom. Nick tries to play all innocent.  Although the “ Desperate tart from a truck stop town” was a pretty solid insult he’s still a huge douche canoe. At least he paid for her lunch.

Betty is helping Jughead fix Reggie's car and I know she said she used to help Hal fix cars but I have a ton of trouble picturing Hal in his tight sweaters fixing a car. Oh shove it Hal. Jughead calls Betty out on being heartless and  dumping him via Archie and she’s like “ Ohh i can explain but like not now” and i’m over here being frustrated as hell like bitch you’ve been sitting in awkward silence just tell him it won’t affect his driving skills. You know what will tho? THE FACT HE’S 15 AND DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE.

Cheryl finds the hush money cheque in her mom's room and i’m like yass that’s what people do with cheques for large amounts of money. They hide them in their underwear drawer and hope that the cash just magically appears in their account. So more likely Mrs Blossom is above going to the bank and took a picture of the cheque to deposit it and now Cheryl is just holding a piece of meaningless paper hostage.

Veronica and Archie are lounging in bed together and i’m like where is Fred? Does he allow this sin under his roof? Cheryl kills the mood by telling Veronica that the St.Clairs are still investing in SoDale so she goes to Daddy and Daddy promises that he’s going to fuck shit up.

So we come to the drag race and everyone has put on their fourth of july best. Kevin is pissed that Ru Paul isn’t there but is glad that there is a lot of eye candy. He clearly has a thing for gang members.

Instead of offering Jughead a lock of her hair Betty gives Juggie her declaration of love and some driving advice. Cheryl tells Toni/Cha Cha  to stuff it because this is her moment and the race is on. In what world would the Goolies  race that old ass car that was never made to go more than 25 miles an hour?

Archie is a little baby and pulls the E break which should basically guarantee that they lose but Archie called Sheriff Keller with a hot tip ahead of time. Everyone is pissed at Archie but I mean they won so……

Penelope threw that cheque that i’m convinced now that she already cashed in the fire and finally spills the tea to Cheryl. Cheryl calls Betty with the intel about who the sugar man is and like a fucking sane normal girl who doesn’t live in fucking Rosewood she calls the police. The Black Hood is pissed and we find out the Sugar Man is Charles Fucking Percy, whose name in this is like Mr Phillip or some bullshit I really don’t care.

Betty is threatening the black hood being like I’ve solved all these mysteries so I can totally catch you and i’m like Betty maybe like back the heck up, I say again you are 15.

So does Fred pop pills on the regular now? Is this going to be a story line?

So the Lodges ran the St. Clair car off the road  and they all sit around and smile about it while playing chess. Not at all menacing.

Despite all Betty's best efforts, the Black Hood is still putting a hit on Percy/ Aka Robert Phillips/ Aka The Sugar man. So sad… but….not really.

That’s it.

[dovahbutt]

Artist to Artist (although I don't post my art on tumblr...): During my four years drawing digitally I've always used my finger and my iPad; now in college I use a laptop that doesn't have touch screen (because I'm cheap like that...). Even though I don't plan on pursuing an Art major, I still have urges to draw. I was doing research on various art applications and hoping you can give me some pointers?

hello anon! i’m so sorry i have no idea how long this has sat in my inbox as tumblr never notified me about it, so i’m really sorry if you’ve been waiting a long time for an answer ;;

damn it must have taken some skill and incredible patience to draw with your finger! and ah boy, college is such a strain on money it really sucks ;;

by art applications i’m assuming you mean computer programs and the like rather than applying to do an art course/degree of any kind? (as you’re not pursuing an art major). if it was on degree applications, i don’t know how much help i’d be there as I’m sadly not at uni for art, instead i’m doing a physics degree..... though i did do an art a-level. didn’t need to apply for that tho. anyway i digress).

(((sooo the rest of my answer is kind of long and rambly, so putting it under the cut!)))

i’m also assuming that you don’t have a graphics tablet of any kind in this case? i have been very fortunate in being gifted one when i was 12 (and i’m still using this old piece of kit and it works fantastically for its age though it is getting cranky and i want to get a new one soon in case it breaks...). mine is a genius g-pen M712, so not as expensive as a wacom while still working very well. Only downside is a tablet like this does not have the screen to draw onto (it’s just an opaque piece of plastic), so it’s reliant on you learning the hand-eye coordination to draw on the tablet while looking at a screen... getting a tablet with a visualiser is pretty expensive, especially if you want a wacom (welp).

If you still have your ipad, you could look into getting an apple pencil as that does the pressure sensitivity stuff that a graphics tablet does, and is cheaper (though still uh pretty expensive). i can’t vouch for it personally because i’ve never used one, but i’ve seen a few high profile concept artists use it when they sketch out and about. additionally, the (free!!!) art program i use, medibang paint pro, is supported by apple devices, so you can get it on your tablet/phone as well as your laptop, which is super neat!

i highly recommend medibang - while it’s not as complete as a program like photoshop, it still has a fair few brushes (and more are added all the time), and retains a lot of functionality. it’s all i’ve been using to create the art on my blog! and it’s freeeeeee.

i have used photoshop in the past (and enjoyed it) and so many people use it, plus kyle t webster’s mega brush pack is to die for. so if you can get your hands on photoshop, you’re set art program wise. HOWever it is soooo expensive to buy on its own. im pretty sure adobe offer the photoshop cs2 suite free, but personally i could never get it to download correctly for whatever reason (my laptop hates me). so you could try and get that!

if you do ever look to buy a graphics tablet (and imo, if youre really passionate about drawing and want to get better at producing digital art, it’s well worth the money) they often come with some version of photoshop included. i got photoshop elements 5 with mine, but the cd is lost.... somewhere.......... (i’ve been through so many harddrive wipes and resets since i got this tablet and so now i can’t find where i put the cd to redownload it ugh).

another big program a lottt of people use is sai. i used it in the past also (i may or may not have pirated it) and it is pretty damn nice. the main useful feature it might have for you is a stabiliser! so if you’re drawing with a mouse, or can’t get a grip with lining smoothly with a tablet, it’ll take the wobble out of your linework. however it does not have as many tools and brushes as photoshop, but that goes for any program that isn’t photoshop really. i can tell you i enjoyed its water colour brush a lot though.

so to conclude, those are the three programs i have used in the past, and recommend looking into! medibang is a very good one to start with and i haven’t yet found the need to get (read: pirate) photoshop.

if i completely missed the point of your question (i’m a bit worried i did), or if you want to ask anything further (or need me to clarify haha), please shoot me another ask or an im or something! i’ll try and keep a closer eye on my inbox for you :’) and i’m always here to chat!

[forbrannir]

an update on me for myself and whoever might wanna know

So...Much has changed since March, and I have done a lot of thinking and I wanna write down where I am right now in my thoughts.

- Firstly, I am happy. I have so much to look forward to and I really do enjoy my life here. There is just a lot more I want and I’m willing to give some things up to get the others.

- Triggered either by going to and coming back from LA (as expected tbh) or by things about the new school year not working out in my favor AGAIN, I am ready to leave Japan. The only things I have tying myself to Japan specifically are a promise I made to myself which I don’t feel so bad about breaking (and may yet not, who knows) and the sheer happiness seeing SHINee in person gives me. I’m leaving the city I’ve lived in for 3 years for somewhere I’ve tried and failed to psyche myself up for. One of my favorite people here is leaving, another friend just plain stopped talking to me for reasons I don’t know and wrecked me for a solid month+, and the other two will be farther away and I don’t know if we’ll be able to keep it up. I’m hoping to get closer to another friend and I will make an effort. But I don’t have people keeping me here, I don’t have a strong support system here at all, the majority of the people who have kept me sane here don’t even live here, and I really miss feeling comfortable with people I call my friends. I’m tired of watching myself all the time, of not knowing if it’s okay for me to even hold onto someone’s arm, things like that. I was so comfortable in LA, and I miss that too much. I miss having a group I can be myself in. I miss it so much. I miss having friends.

- Following on from that, the way Japan is is and the way I am in Japan just winding me up. I’m frustrated I can’t do things on my own and I’m scared that when things go wrong, I can’t get help on my own. I had a health scare the other day and it made me think about all of this even more. I’m also getting annoyed with Japanese work culture (and it doesn’t even personally effect me) and the way some things are still so backwards to me even after 3 years. Sure I’m the type that gets angry at things easily but I am an open-minded person and I think we just don’t mesh longterm, Japan and I. As I kind of expected, but I didn’t think I would ever be leaving bc I felt like I was done with Japan. I’m also so damn done with the program I’m on LOL I’m so annoyed with how my move and transfer are being handled (as in, not really being handled at all).

- Being in Japan has put basically all of my hobbies on hold. I have started to again recently, but I hadn’t been drawing as much. I haven’t been gaming as much (again till recently), I have no opportunity to even think of joining a theatre, I have a dance team thank goodness, but that will be gone when I leave and there’s not gonna be another for me to join, and bc I have had no event to cosplay to, I haven’t been sewing. Going to concerts basically became my constant hobby and as much as I love it, it isn’t challenging or fulfilling like my other hobbies are. Not only do I feel stagnant in my current job but I do as an artist as well. Sometimes I even forgot that I am one, and that is not good. I’ve not even replaced the time I could be using to do these things with something good and that makes me really disappointed in myself.

- I’ve done more self-reflecting these past 2 years than I ever had before. I wonder if it was only these past 2 years and not 3 bc I had Karen my first year, and everything was still new, and I had Bela+TD group and all that was still new and pleasantly overwhelming. Idk. But I have changed and I am really happy about that bc I was getting bored with myself. I still find myself pretty uninteresting, not risk-taking in the right way, really cynical, not always very nice in my thoughts, jealous, and some of those things definitely worse than before. But I also know I have to work on things. I’ve at least let go of a lot of things, and I’m better at standing up for myself, and I have personality and idk attitude/kindness goals and certain ppl’s actions to look towards and try to model myself after so hopefully I can do that. I just know that when I go back home this summer it’s as a slightly different person even tho I don’t know if others will be able to tell.

- I have learned a lot. I have had a lot of fun. I wouldn’t trade my time here even tho it has not always been ideal but I know just how great my city and job are and how lucky I am to be here experiencing them both. I’m not ready to leave, but I’m ready to move on. I keep thinking “I can’t wait to leave this”. I just really better damn make my time in my new town good bc I don’t want to leave on a weird note.

- In the end this was basically “how I feel about deciding to leave Japan” fff as...expected.