#i deserve it guys
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oh to be jacks, eating my apples, bothering the innocent, and teasing evangeline INSTEAD I HAVE TO WORK MY MINIMUM WAGE JOB ALL DAY. WHY CANT I JUST BE JACKS!!!
#like#pleaseeeee#i deserve it guys#no more job#tbona#ouabh#jacks prince of hearts#evajacks#the ballad of never after#evangeline fox#jacks x evangeline#caraval#books#stephanie garber#acftl#a curse for true love
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.
#the funny thing is she DOES know who ben affleck is#mom you're the one who made me watch good will hunting!!!#ah well. mommy doesn't know who the guy is#I'm gonna start saying that as if it's a popular meme phrase that everyone knows. maybe i can gaslight pple into using it#....you know what. please reblog this actually. it's what mommy deserves
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pirates and their unconventional weddings (marines crashed it seven times)
#I just think they deserve a corny ass movie rock and roll wedding#yes nami officiates barbosa style#one piece#one piece fanart#luzo#zolu#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#luffy#zoro#my art#straw hat pirates#I GOT SO MANY ASKS TO PUT THIS ONE ON HERE GIKSKFKD YOU GUYS MOVE FAST. wish is my command
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#mouthwashing#my art#daisuke mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#i made daisuke look like a beautiful butch lesbian#whoopsie#poor guy didnt deserve his fate though sheeesh#as for anya#well#i have many thoughts about her
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genuinely what is the reason for the internet becoming so prudish?? who can i fight about this
#clarification since this is getting notes#when i say prudish i dont mean people who dont want to have sex or talk about it or any of that#you guys deserve to have your boundaries respected always#i mean the corporations who force their adult users to be Family Friendly at all times
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Where the nightmares began in FNAF 4..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf 4#david afton#evan afton#fnaf cc#fredbear#nightmare fredbear#afton family#I’m so sorry to my lil guy from fnaf 4#you deserved to have one good nights sleep#i wanted to frame fnaf 4 like the fnaf movie#where Abby befriends the animatronics etc#so the idea David was similar all he sees is a friend is an interesting one
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Yeah, I don't know about you, Fidds, but I'd fold at this 🙏
Previous!!
Next!!
First!!
#no Stan don't use the puppy dog eyes Fidds won't be able to say no!!!#yeah I don't know where this is going but i made more lol#should i keep going i actually don't know#are you guys liking this PLEASE ANSWER ME 😭🙏#stan has hit the luck goldmine in his lifetime of the exact opposite#the last time he was this lucky he was born and even he's not too sure how lucky that actually was 🙏#Fiddleford does NOT want to rebuild that portal guys 🙏#i have a feeling that he might anyway though 🤞🙂↕️#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#gravity falls comic#yeah cause i am drawing comics now#that small drawing i did as a joke has really run away from me..#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#vampire fiddleford#werewolf stan pines#werewolf stan#gravity falls halloween au#i love you guys that followed me for this 🙏#why is stan spilling his guts about pushing his brother into an interdemensional portal to the first shmuck that walks by??#well..... idk he sees Fidds and hears that he knows Ford and he sees him as Ford's friend and he thinks oh man he deserves to know#mullet stan
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Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.
#ratiorine#aventio#aventurine#dr. ratio#honkai star rail#hsr#not exactly#2.1 spoilers#but the vibe isn't present until then#this is canon I'm Hoyo#just trust me#I think my favorite thing about this ship#is that I went in expecting slap slap kiss#but came out of 2.1 convinced that these two could#in fact#get their shit together faster than virtually any other Hoyoverse pair#they're gonna be two years into their relationship before Seele manages to ask Bronya on a date#they're gonna be married before Renheng get their next ship tease#I just think they deserve to be those two guys who show up together#in the background of every promotion and event#and Hoyo never confirms anything#but you never see the one without the other#so everybody just KNOWS#LISTEN HOYO#I'm available for hire#you can pay me to print the money for you
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while we wait.
may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?
#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength#look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!!#listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby.....#in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute#we are ms beagle pov#scribble garnish#welcome home#barnaby b beagle#welcome home puppet show#no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears#like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED#WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE????#did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside....#OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT#who would abandon such a sweet boy....#listen im weak to animals#but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned...#like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded....#WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI
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So normal about Jon being like I don’t remember what you looked like but the man who let you die is going to suffer for what he did to you. If only Sasha coulda seen that.
So normal about Jon being like you died hating me and wanting me dead but I’m still gonna make sure this man knows I’m ending him in your name. Sure wish Tim coulda seen that.
So normal about the fact that everyone believed Jon was losing his humanity but no one got to see the ways his love and compassion for the people he lost or who hurt him drove him to that final moment.
So normal about the fact that even after everything Jonah’s done to Jon, the only person he never thinks to get justice for is himself.
#same energy as Jon diving into the buried to save the woman who tried to kill him#for all his flaws Jon’s a good person at his core#he just wholeheartedly believes he deserves to be hated so he never even tries to explain himself#analysis#istg every time I post one of these I get closer to writing a full dissertation on this guy#tma#the magnus archives#jon sims#jonathan sims#tim stoker#tma 200#sasha james#jonah magnus
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cw. none except satoru being disgustingly cute (part 2)
satoru isn’t used to people calling him anything other than his surname. gojo-san to most, gojo-sensei to others. it’s simple, and gets the job done.
only a handful of people stick to calling him by his given name. to them, he’s satoru. it’s easy, and rolls of the tongue, and he greatly prefers it over the sound of his surname. it makes him feel like an actual person.
satoru never entertained the possibility of being called anything else other than those two names. he didn’t think it would ever happen.
for once, he was glad to be proven wrong.
“tough day, pretty?” you ask gently, and he sighs with a nod as he throws himself into your opened arms. his body moulds easily into yours, and he lets out a heavy groan as he settles onto the couch with you. the groan is loud, and over-exaggerated.
it’s so satoru.
you have to stifle a giggle.
“everything went horribly wrong,” he grumbles, his voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “the higher ups were up my ass again, my students laughed at me again, and when i finally made it to that bakery you liked they were out of your favourite pastries so i couldn’t get them for you—again!”
“oh, my poor baby,” you coo, and gently push his bangs out of his face. he nods in agreement, faking an immense amount of sympathy for himself. “‘s okay, at least you tried, hm? i think that’s very sweet.”
satoru hums, as if he’s deeply thinking about your words. “’m still your baby?” he mumbles, deciding that’s the most important thing right now. his eyes briefly flutter shut, consumed by utter bliss as you play with the hairs on his undercut.
“mhm, still my baby.”
“yeah? what else am i?”
this time you do giggle. he does this sometimes. you aren’t exactly sure why—but on tough days, satoru likes to crawl into your arms and listen to you call him every cheesy nickname under the sun. it’s easily providable and makes him so very happy, so you always indulge him.
“my honey bun.”
“and?”
“my boo bear.”
“mhm.”
“my sweetheart.”
“yes?”
you laugh softly. “my mochi,” you coo, and pinch his cheek. it’s a little squished because he’s laying on your chest, but it emphasises your point.
he grins under your touch. it’s adorable.
“keep them coming, please?” he asks, and you do. you always do, unable to refuse him. especially when he asks so sweetly.
“my sugar cookie.”
“my muffin.”
“my baby cakes.”
“my angel.”
“my love.”
“my husband.”
“h—huh?” satoru stammers, looking up from your chest. he lays his chin on your sternum, baby blue eyes blinking up at you. they’re filled with awe, surprise, and utter glee. “that’s, i’m not. . .”
“just testing the title, baby,” you tell him, and continue playing with his hair. he bathes in your touch and you smile softly as he grabs and kisses the palm of your hand. “what do you think, hm?”
“i think you should call me it again.”
“oh?”
“mhm,” he mumbles.
“my dearest husband.”
“again.”
“my handsome husband.”
“again.”
“my sweet husband.”
“again, please?”
you hum, impressed. “my well-mannered husband.”
satoru chuckles, and lays back down on your chest. his white hair tickles against your skin, and he sighs in content.
“i think i want to be your husband for real.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” he mumbles and nuzzles further into your hold. “y’ve got the same ring size still, right?”
“i sure do,” you say, a content smile on your lips as you watch him slowly doze off to sleep.
“hm, good to know.”
for satoru, those nicknames make him feel as if he’s something even greater than a person—it makes him feel yours.
he’s not just gojo, the strongest. he’s not just satoru, the at-times somewhat immature adult with the sweet tooth of a child.
he’s yours. your baby. your honey bun. your boo bear. your mochi. your boyfriend. your love. and for satoru, there’s no greater thing in the world than that.
#ꕤ — sanatomis darling: gojo satoru#usually i list the nicknames i have from him of the top of my head but i’ll admit it guys#i opened my notes app for this one#i call him so many nicknames i know mimi is sick of us#very self-indulgent once again my apologies (or not)#HES JUST SO#adorable#he’s everything and he deserves every nickname#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader fluff#satoru gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sneaking it in again guys sorry#⍣ ❥ ೋ 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑖.
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a real winner?
#traffic series#traffic life#trafficsmp#trafficblr#traffic smp#real life#realife spoilers#zombie cleo fanart#zombie cleo#guys is she a real a winner#i think she at least deserves a proper portrait#or maybe it’s just an excuse for me to draw her#anyway love real life and just know it’s a sign that cleo will win the next life series#daisy art
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HE'S JUST A BABY OHMYGODDDD
#THE CUTEST EVER#guys i think about this everyday#he's like#'yeah ok this is my new bestfriend and she deserves all the love. i would do anything for her'#damian wayne#robin#batcow#batfam#batfamily#batboys#dc batman#dcu#dc comics#dc#gothihop speaks
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I’m going to go insane why are so few people talking about him LOOK AT HIM.
#the day you guys give him the appreciation he deserves is the day I know peace#aaron moten#maximus fallout#maximus#fallout#fallout series#fallout on prime
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conflating diaspora jews with the actions of the israeli government is not okay, yes, but have you considered it's not okay to conflate israeli jews with them either
#listen. no hate to diaspora jews. y'all are suffering unimaginable antisemitism rn.#but as an israeli it makes me so mad how they're always the only ones leftists care about when it comes to antisemitism if even#“nooo guys we can't be mean to diaspora jews because of isnotreal it's antisemitic and wrong!”#“israelis? now those are completely fine to harass and wish death upon <3”#people just straight up don't see us as humans deserving of basic decency i think#when they at very least pretend to or believe they like diaspora jews#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism#israel#jumblr
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