#when i say prudish i dont mean people who dont want to have sex or talk about it or any of that

[tallymali]

genuinely what is the reason for the internet becoming so prudish?? who can i fight about this

[randombubblegum]

the thing is i see awsten as someone who’s like. fundamentally uncomfortable with talking about sex, like yeah he makes his pregnancy jokes and dick jokes but at the end of the day i still remember during fandom era when he would talk about imhs and say things like “yeah its just sooo taboo to talk about sex in the scene, like no one ever sings about sex in the warped tour kinda genre, all they ever sing about is emotions” etc etc and like. thats not true?? all time low did NOT have the filthy little whore lyric just for awsten to call the pop punk scene prudish lmao. so to me all of that just came across like someone who was personally kind of squeamish about talking about sex trying to like justify this (relatively sexless) song. which makes this new era so bizarre bc tbh he still seems uncomfortable? like if there are any cowriters for brainwashed im guessing he didnt write that lyric, like maybe *im* the one projecting but like ive seen people comfortably write/sing sexual lyrics and that is not what it looks like lmao (that being said. i fucking love this song ngl)

YES exactly!!!! thats because he IS a person whos fundamentally uncomfortable talking about sex outside of jokes he can couch it in and remove it from himself lol. the lyric in imhs is literally just….. “i miss having sex” thats hardly any real discussion and that was STILL clearly a struggle for him. which is fine!!!!! it is FINE to be uncomfortable or unwilling to discuss YOUR OWN sex life even if youre making dirty jokes on the reg!!!!! theyre not mutually exclusive by any means!!!

and thats exactly what it was LMAO hes squeamish about sex (not shocking considering both how he was raised and his general personality behind the persona) and him thinking the pop punk scene is “prudish” so him saying the word “sex” was like a huge deviation rly just…. shows the kind of music he listens to lol. also even in the big, non-whore bands of the scene (sorry atl) fob and (post 1st album) panic and whoever else still throw in oblique references to sex but dont spell it out. like all the lines about hips crashing in fob. little deaths in musical beds. its actually sexier to allude but not spell it out AND awsten used to do that in his own music so that makes it an even weirder direction to take here…….

and yes LOL he still does seem uncomfortable!!!! thats why i know this is a deliberate marketing choice and tone shift. he still doesnt want ppl seeing into his actual real sex life and isnt willing to share (extremely valid) but that is rly noticeable with how he just throws these disconnected lyrics in and then…. doesnt touch them? maybe if he gets more interviews later hell ~go in depth~ about the sex lyrics but i bet you he wont. i dont think someone else literally wrote them BUT i do think hes being coached in this direction for virality and hopeful attention. this is not an atl situation where hes gonna be up there making whore stage banter with geoff and then talk about how he fucks LMAO and if he tried it would ring so fake and hollow bc thats not him. and frankly these lyrics arent him either

[alatismeni-theitsa]

anti LO anon opinions

(1) If i had to guess, the fact Hephaestus was written ok in LO is because of the editor. On their official job listings, one of the editor requirements at Webtoons is to actually aid in if not completely ghostwrite some of the episodes if need be. If i had to bet, the LO editor (the 3rd they're on now btw) had the better sense than to get into more hot water like the r*pe discourse and took over writing him so RS wouldn't make him another villain. RS tends to be a PR nightmare in that regard.

(2) If there’s one thing I find strange about the writing choices in LO (and I have a lot I don’t like) it’s that it pretty constantly tells and shows us Hades is, frankly, the worst king imaginable. He’s violent, he’s entitled, he doesn’t like to be corrected or told he’s wrong. He physically threatens others if not outright attacks them (a paparazzi college student isn’t evil for trying to make ends meet.) when called out on it, he doesn’t see the error of his ways and it’s even worse when Persephone calls him out on it and he just quiets her or they make out to shut her up I guess?

Even people from Hestia to Ares don’t trust Hades and call him cruel, violent, and a bad king. You cannot constantly tells us he’s a bad king and leader and see it as fair and just he remains a king at the end. This wouldn’t be an issue if it weren’t for the fact Smythe keeps framing and excusing him as the most perfect, romantic man ever and sole voice of reason and logic in her universe and who every man should be like and who every woman wants.

He would actually be a great antagonistic love interest, a fun take on H/P as a twisted dark romance of a young woman rejecting her perfect life for the darkness and cruelty of the king of death, but LO has no use for that when its sole purpose is to whitewash him and make them “precious cinnamon rolls”.

Also, going off visual cues, Persephone will be the one to change for HIS wants and lifestyle, not the other way around, so we know he won’t change his ways or even learn, but instead will get everything he wants and then some, only with the slight slap on the wrist that he won’t be able to have sex with his child-like bride half the year. 

Persephone is ultimately rendered a prop in her supposed story. This is not a story of empowering Persephone or giving her a voice, it is a story of excusing and romanticizing a cruel, capitalistic slave owner who really wants to have sex with someone who can pass for his daughter and framing it as a progressive romance.

(3) There’s something very sad in the fact the canon of LO is that Persephone isn't even of Demeter’s blood, but rather is made of clay. Persephone has had all her friendships, any hints of personality, understanding, goals, and even her family ripped away from her so the only thing in her life is Hades and what he wants and what tells her.

In comparison, Hades is given relationships to characters he never had in the myths (his expanded sex life, friendship with Hecate, huge emphasis on Rhea having him as her favorite child, Hera being his lover, even Thanatos to an extent), he gets to keep and even gains status as the implied true heir of Kronos and controller of all the wealth/CEO, and is given more personality and goals than myth gave him.

Despite being the lead character, Persephone is given nothing beyond wanting to be Hades’ wife. Her school work doesn’t matter to her, she has no flaws or complexities, she doesn’t know her own body or powers, her sexuality is based in naivety & only wanting Hades in a narrative that shames other consenting adults, I could go on. She ends up more regressed than myth had her, and Ancient Greece wasn’t exactly as progressive as we are today, while Hades ends up having more love and care put into him.

It shows just how little Smythe cares for the mythology but also the claims of it being “progressive feminism” are all lip service. Persephone is not a character in LO, she’s a prop to self insert on (which would be fine if it weren’t for the claims Smythe is “empowering” her) and make sure people don’t feel bad about shipping a assaulted kidnapping victim with her myth canon uncle and assailant. People have been shipping and writing HxP for decades with no issue and yet LO has twisted them into something even Tumblr (which essentially created it) is souring to.

(4) I dont mean to sound like a prude but why is lo Demeter, Hera and eve Artemis all drawn so cartoonishly sexy? every one of them are all drawn with super exaggerated tapered curves with huge boobs and hips and wearing clothes that are constantly showing off their chests and are dangerously close to showing more than just leg.

they're far from the only female characters drawn like that too. basically every woman has to be drawn with extreme sex appeal. that’s not to say the characters mentioned aren’t allowed to be sexual beings (I personally would love to see hera and demeter, two often prudish mother figures, have the chose to have their own love lives) but it becomes shallow when the only sex hera is allowed is via cheating on her husband with hades (gross, sorry 😂) and demeter being so removed from sex she made her daughter through /clay/ (because making persephone an object is better than just having her being from a single mother/no father mentioned I guess) this once again shows a lack of design or character considerations on Smythe’s part.

while the male characters get more variety (not much, but some) all the women regardless of character or traits are made into more pinups than their own unique beings. That’s not even mentioning the only unique looking woman (Athena) is only that way because she’s depicted essentially as a man. If you have anything bigger than an A-cup, it’s only a matter of time before you’re sexualized. 

[musherum]

fuck it being silenced by the overwhelming force of opposition is what that opposition wants. its better if i talk about it and make myself clear

what i mean here is that every new hot ticket fetish to get normalized inevitably draws from real world power dynamics and oppression - ie, “bimbofication” for instance relies on societal expectations of immaculately performed femininity, the idea that women are stupid or empty-headed, the idea that women are sexual objects. this naturally puts it into conflict with people who have experienced the cutting edge of these power dynamics - women who have been or are being forced into exaggerated traditional femininity, who have been told that theyre mentally inferior to men, women who have been told that they exist for the sexual pleasure of men. 

fetishists know this. when they promote these new fetishes that obviously draw upon existing oppression in the world, they expect the backlash. and when the backlash comes they use it as an example of how the “other” just doesnt understand, takes things too seriously, always has to make things political. the “other” can vary - ive seen poly kinksters invoke it against non-polyamorous people, ive seen men invoke it against women and women invoke it against men, ive seen trans and gay people invoke it against cis and straight people (or trans and gay people who they assume to be somehow working in concert with cis and straight people). regardless of who, textually, the “other” is, the message is always: people who dont accept that violence and sex are interchangeable just want to ruin your fun. they knowingly court this outrage in order to drive a wedge between the fun, liberated, kinky people and those prudish, boring vanillas.they know that the key to being sucked in deeper is immersion in a culture where sexual violence is normalized and accepted as everyday sexual behavior, and that every “vanilla” contact you keep increases the risk of you starting to question fetish culture and leaving it behind

 fetish culture is structured to slowly draw you in deeper and deeper without realizing that theres ever much further to go than wherever you are currently, much like the alt-right pipeline. it starts out as accepting that sexual violence can be fun even though you still fully support feminism. than it turns into “sexual violence is fun, and feminism has a few things wrong with it.” eventually you get to the core, which is staunchly anti-woman (among many, many other horrible things. seriously just about everything you can name. virulently racist, violently homophobic, just everything)

“but cael, what about the sheer number of kinksters who say theyre devout feminists? who do and say the right, feminist-y things??” theres some variation here. many of them are men who’ve never cared about women, and just enjoy the rewards that speaking the language of feminism gives them - ie, sex. many of them are women on the outside layers, where the contradiction is less obvious and easier to push to one’s mentally periphery. some simply cant see the forest for the trees, in a sense - they cant distinguish the systemic prejudice and harm theyre reinforcing for the momentary pleasure and thrill it brings them. and of course, some of them are just fucking liars.

[beardbot]

As pride month comes to an end, I wanted to post a thing. Please forgive the large amount of text in the thing! Also I tried to throw in a picture!!

So, I usually don't talk about sexuality or relationships. This is partially because I'm just reserved (and fine, a bit prudish too), partially because I've only recently figured out myself, and partially because I feel like I don't need these spaces as much as other people, and it's selfish to claim them.

On that last point, my own identities are more quietly invisible, and less under direct attack, than others. Asexuality is dismissed and erased, but people believing it isn't a real thing is not as damaging as actual physical harm or denial of human rights. It's "weird" but it's not seen as violating anyone's religion or "family values" or lifestyle, or whatever else is used to justify violence and bigotry against others. (Unless you count men who are offended you don't want to be Graced with the Royal Penis after getting an unsolicited dick pic.) Bi- and pansexuality are more dramatically erased, and with additional risks, but at least I'm placed under the umbrella of "has a serious boyfriend." Either way, I've either been pushed out of communities or simply felt like I didn't need them. The latter 90% of the time.

Regardless, here I am going on about it anyway! Placing my flag on pride month. My identity, what I joke about being my "alphabet soup version," is panromantic demisexual. If that sounds confusing to you, don't worry, I get it. I grew up in Florida 😂 seriously though, I didn't settle on this until graduate school. Once I even did figure it out, I didn't label it until later. Most of the time, my identity is bisexual when I don't want to argue about asexuality, and asexual when I don't want to argue about bisexuality. But I want to just be more open about it.

Panromantic demisexual. Panromantic meaning romantically attracted to anyone across sex and gender (not just men, or women, or exclusively men and women). Basically "bisexual" but with romantic attraction, and without a strict binary of men and women. Demisexual meaning only sexually attracted after being emotionally involved first, for me usually romantically attracted. Basically "not into one-night stands" you could say. I guess first you need to accept that romantic and sexual attraction are two separate things, which I was not even conscious of for the longest time. Shout out to terrible sex education! 👌

I grew up confused when lumping these two things together - having crushes and wanting to date people, but simultaneously being repulsed by the idea of sexual intimacy with them (or anyone), at least for a long time. Thinking I was broken, or indecisive, or unstable. But alas! Two separate things.

The easiest example is being sexually attracted to someone, but not romantically (you don't want to date them, have emotional intimacy, etc.) "Hit it and quit it" 😂 so then, why is it so difficult the other way around? It sounds so bizarre to other people, the idea that you can be romantically attracted to someone, but not sexually. That you maybe want to hold hands and cuddle and go on cute dates with someone, but that's not a ticket to ride on (no pun intended) the Train to Bang Town. But maybe you can think of examples yourself. Maybe you had a *very* close friend, whom you spent all of your time with, whom you shared all of your secrets with, who was the first person you thought of when anything important happened to you, but NO HOMO I'M NOT GAY LIKE THAT we're just close friends. Maybe you have crushes on men and women but you only want to sleep with women. All normal! TWO SEPARATE THINGS! They can be aligned but still two separate things.

I first identified as asexual. Nope, I'm just not into anyone in that way. Even celebrity crushes, I wanted to do things like walk through parks, hang out and eat ice cream, read them poems (emo kids unite?), a number things, but none of them sexual in nature. Later on, I would date boys, but either dump them or be dumped pretty early on ("prudes" unite). Something was "off," different. I felt different. Different from what I saw in TV and movies, heard in music, in conversations of other people my age. Still, I vividly remember the day I realized what people ACTUALLY mean when they say someone is "hot." (I was too old and too naive to not know, but my brain just didn't think that way.) Not just aesthetically pleasing. The older I got, the more I felt like an alien. Probably sounded like one. "Ah, yes, his face is indeed aesthetically pleasing." ... "Take me to your leader!"

You could call me a "late bloomer," but it's not even just that. Late introspector? Late learner? Yes, I eventually did go "farther" with partners, and have lovely relationships with people who are patient and put up with me. But I still wouldn't call myself "bloomed." I'm still different from most other people. And I'm proud to not be labeling myself with things that don't reflect me.

Going back to my own development. So, I settled on "ace" and anonymously joined forums and such. It felt right... but only for a time. Eventually I felt a little different from that too. I talked with people who were aromantic, and people who were sex-repulsed. Wait a minute, is that me too? No, I dont quite feel that way. Well, what the f-

Flash forward, I finally settled on "demisexual." Okay, I'm kinda asexual, but also kinda in my sexy feelings for someone after bonding and feeling emotionally safe with them. I want to be more than friends. Maybe try out some other things, but only with you. Today I feel like demisexual is the best fit. Maybe "gray" too but I think emotional closeness is the key for me.

But wait, do I like girls too? Or do I even care what sex or gender they are? Yes, I've had intense crushes on many girls. If you want to stick with socialized norms, I liked feminine girls, and masculine girls. Eventually I liked one woman, who later identified as a man, after having his own journey through gender and sexuality (which I think is especially hard in bible-belt Jacksonville). I still thought he was cute and smart and funny.

No, I don't really care about sex or gender - I just care that you like dogs and 90s music and video games like me. Neat!

I dont really know how to end this. I'll just say, I do consider myself a member of the LGBTQIA community, in which my B stands for bisexual (but actually panromantic) and my A stands for asexual (but actually the asexuality spectrum). I'm overjoyed to see more openness and acceptance in my lifetime, and I hope that continues for kids growing up now, who may be "confused" or "indecisive" - and maybe they will not have to wait until after college to figure it out. Nuance is important in something this complex and... well, nuanced.

Thank you to anyone who read this until the bitter end!

[boyshoujo]

wait so is a swinger like he cheats and shit or does he means he swings both ways?? or does it means that he gets into threesomes??? omfg what if he's bi! tbh my headcanon is he's bi, and omg what if he has sex not just with women but also men but he's like: "lol im a swinger" and like what if he sucked raphael's dick but raphael broke his heart lmao

under the cut bc i actually dont like swinging lol bc its v old and just reminds me of a bunch of grandpas and dingy clubs (thanks to the dead motel/mall series on utube). i also talk a bit about imbalanced and.. unsavory relationships a bit. nsfw!

(paraphrased from wikipedia LMAO)someone w a swinger lifestyle is someone who’s basically Very sexually open and non-monogamous (or at least not strictly). swingers are usually associated w group sex (lmao..) and partner swapping, but they could just be someone who decides to be have a lot of open sexual relationships (whether theyre single or dating someone)! it’s supposedly a lifestyleapparently most swingers are wealthy people lmao and theres fancy swinger clubs (or sometimes people just throw events) where people just go to hook up w other people in one huge orgy or in multiple smaller groups (which is what i presume vincent couldve been talking about?)he could be joking though lmao. i mean, in the bad cop choice, he gets genuinely surprised at you kissing him???? would a swinger really flinch at a kiss? …..of course, sexual and romantic attraction CAN be exclusive, so it could just be that he sleeps around w a bunch of people but doesn’t pursue them beyond one night stands/enjoys the freedom and lack of commitment because no one sparks any interest or mental stimulation or romantic feelings??? in that one background at his art exhibit, we see him swarmed by A LOT OF GIRLS lol and we know he charms people veeeeery easily. so when u have all these people instantly throwing themselves at ur feet (ME lol), they become boring fast. there’s no chase or build up or opportunity to get to know someone if they’re always agreeing w/ you or fawning over your every word. those who submit to him w/o a challenge don’t develop beyond a tool, like marion and tj and the mc in his side story. (he IS an aries. lmao) but the mc DOES evoke interest??? and is a formidable opponent?? and maybe he genuinely likes the mc??????? (MAYBE????) so when you make a pass at him, it catches him off guard in an almost sweet and innocent way

i honestly dont want vincent to be a swinger lmao bc i think of grandpas from the 70s but i mean . i guess he DID just get out of jail so maybe he had 2 bang a giant group of people to relieve those 2 years of celibacy? on a tuesday night lmaothe average age of swingers is around 39 and vincent IS a rich guy in his 40′s so :? its plausible. whaevter. i dont like it though loltbh the only thing i like about swinging is the contrast? the thought of stuffy uptight pompous rich people who preach chastity and prudishness in public having these secret society mass hook ups w/ their other rich business partners just . makes me laugh lmaoand YES!!!! i hc vincent as bi too!!!! kind of a touchy subject bc i know tj suffered a lot of emotional trauma from being manipulated and blackmailed by vincent, but the way vincnet referred to him as (paraphrased) “sweet and sensitive with talented hands” or whatever . just struck me as a hint at whatever relationship they might’ve had? the way he said it just seemed somewhat sensual and suggestive? i assume tj had once admired vincent and viewed him with the same awe and idealization that marion does. we also know that vincent seduces his way to get what he wants lmao and im sure its not just interns at city of love or broke fashion students. he IS a business man, and most of his colleagues are probably other rich old dudesanyways i feel sorry for tj, and his past w vincent is one reason why his relationship w alia kinda irks me? bc it seems too… familiar, and tj’s obviously not in a good state when we reunite w him. might make a post about that@ the part about raphael - KLFSFKJLJFL dont……………. dont say that :( we kissed those lips :( vincent can suck literally anyone and everyone elses dick but not raphael ok!!!!!!! raphael is CNACELLED. raphael??? breaking VINCENT’s heart????????? ooc. off brand. implausible

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Listen y'all the country life is real hard right now.

I am not prejudice but white people are trying it extra-hard right now. And this is gonna sound awful, but sometimes the thought of working with white people for like ever is exhausting and I am saying this as a light skinned mexican. So you know it's bad.

Like I know the stereotype is like country people are super ignorant and racist and all that. . . .

I find that .... well yes and no. Like where I live I've dealt with racism ....but like most people are kind.....as long as you agree with them. The older I get the more I find I just cant ignore them.

Like people used to say to me well it's okay to have friends that disagree with you, just dont talk about those issues/beliefs and such ....but I'm just getting to an age that I realize what you think says a lot about who you are and that's not who I want to hang out with.

And I honestly am so privileged and kinda cursed because.... I tends to blend in among some of the conservatives.

Hold up what to I mean . . . Well for a long time i was like the "model mexican" as a conservative catholic (and when i say conservative i mean that i take my religion seriously and try to understand it through study and questioning) and in general a good student, I was praised and the only people who would hang out with me were like the super conservative white girls. And on somethings we'd agree on but like for completely different reasons. Ex. They didn't believe in sex before marriage. Neither do I, but that is half because i dont really feel sexual attraction towards others and as a teen didnt understand the idea of urges and sexual curiosity, like 30% of my religion, 20% because I absolutely do not like to be touched, but i dont believe never believed in shaming others for thier decisions or that I was morally superior. For the longest time anf more so the older I get, i just assumed there was something wrong with me.

Same thing with abortion, I have always been pro-choice. but I am anti abortion when it comes to myself. I always say that if never know how id feel if I were pregnant when I just wasnt in a stable place in my life or if the absolute most aweful thing were to happen and i were raped. I just soul searched for a long time and came to the conclusion that i didnt think i could handle an abortion, personally both because of my religion and because I am an overthinker and self-sacrifice by nature. That said I have always believed those decision are up to each woman and it is not the responsibility of any government or person to decide that for individuals.

But when you live out where live. They dont call it pro-choice. They ask if you are pro-abortion. So growing up I would just answer "no I am not personally pro-abortion" and leave it at that.

And the thing is, you can live like that. You can totally live just being quiet and on eggshells. Because if you dont talk about those topics, these people are pleasant and fun to hang out with. You may even have a lot in common as far as interest go (books, anime, tv shows, hobbies ect).

But I find that again the older I get the more I realize that i dont want to just "let it go". Brenda(on) you are racists, you are hypocrites, you are hateful, and most of all you have it in your minds that fault lies on victims not the predators/perpetrators.

And being into the same make up brand is just not enough for me to over look it. And I am tired of trying not to make you uncomfortable and to be civil, when you obviously dont care about doing that for me.

The people I work with and the ones my friends work with are just exhausting and then they play the victim.

"Why dont you like me?" (Regarding flinching away when being touched and hugged randomly out of the blue)

"I am allowed to have my opinion." (Regarding being called out about making anti-immigrant comments in a room with two Mexican women who have had immigrant relatives)

"Why are you so sensitive, I was just being honest?" (Regarding how light colored eyes are more beautiful than brown eyes)

"Isnt it judgmental and prudish for you not to go?" (regarding an inappropriate ladies night for company women in which they sexualize male coworkers and break a whole bunch of HR protocol)

Yall are so tiring.

And the worst is sometimes even the white "woke" people are like super annoying and still imperialistic/colonist in mentality.

[datingadviceonreddit]

How many of you here are in relationships that started out as casual sex? or to rephrase, how many of us here have sex with people they date to test the waters before committing?I'm 25 and a lot of friends including myself have dates that end up in casual sex, with the door open to the idea of a future relationship with this person (the dating and the sex are both to test the long term waters, while also being something casual and fun in the mean time if this is not the case).However, what I've noticed at times is that both parties are seeking something that is potentially meaningful and then there is this complicated rule that applies to the casual sex which is to refrain from being emotionally open for fear of being too keen/too invested etc. which kind of spoils getting to know someone and having that intimacy we crave.its like modern dating and casual sex makes it easier to do, but sabotages the end goals at the same time?Another problem I find is that when you have sex first off without having that getting to know process (online dating can be such a fast paced market environment I feel like people dont have the patience for old fashioned courting) it becomes a casual sex senario that confuses the dating so it makes it murkier when deciding to carry on seeing someone as the physical intimacy has grown on both of you.I find myself not wanting to sound or be to be prudish on dates saying 'im looking for something serious and want to hold out' because that puts too much pressure on me and them in the beginning as well and also wanting to have sex with someone on the first date if I like them.I also know that many people say they arent looking for something serious because hey, we are just dating and having sex until we wake up in bed next to them! so someone even saying that can be a mere formality to essentially remind each other that 'hey, lets just have some fun here and see what happens'I've recently met someone who I really like and weve been on a few dates which has led to sex. But im so used to this kind of dichotomy that I cant see how else a relationship begins, which I am ready for. we havent had any talks about anything because its too soon for that, so there is this annoying window of casual vague date sex that i guess leads up to the rest of our lives (which is fine of course).I was not born yesterday and realise that yes some of these dating/casual seeing experiences had explicitly been just casual sex nothing more, and I do realise that people do have dates without sex that lead to relationships in the more old fashioned sense, but theres so much different information on the internet about the shoulds and shouldn'ts and less of the real story senarios I can read and relate to as someone my age.I live in a capital city so this type of casual sex/dating fast paced way of doing things feels normal here, but I find its bringing me down a bit! I'm more of a date one at a time see how it goes type of woman, but friends and the men I've seen seem to have time for more, I am busy enough as it is trying to pay rent let alone be having 2 different dates a week with people. I just dont feel that special to anyone in this kind of template, which is the template everyone uses!if anyone has any experience with dating combined with early casual sex i'd love to hear! how you felt you knew it might be headed somewhere, if your the kind of person that has sex with multiple people and can decide between any of them, if everyone is as tired as me! lol​also to add: all the information about casual sex articles online always say that in never leads to something fulfilling, but this is the nature of modern dating now.. more confusion! via /r/dating_advice