#that this is still a current issue is INFURIATING
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#i just... sigh... look. i dont like porn. not because im a prude. im just not into sex and stuff. it makes me feel weird
#but if you are an adult looking at other consenting adults doing adult things...you should be able to see it
#just because *I* dont want to see titties and dick (even artfully) doesnt mean I dont want other people to
#fucking... the amount of control companies have over this stuff is just...outlandish
#do i believe that children should be exposed to this? no. i believe parents should monitor their child's online activities
#but kids are curious. my 11 year old nephew typed 'titties' into his tablet. luckily his mom was smart enough to put parental locks on it
#so he didnt see like...hardcore hentai or anything. i believe it routed him to the wikipedia article about breasts.
#the companies shouldnt be able to cultivate our online experiences. we are consenting adults who should know how to do it
#if you dont want to see porn‚ maybe dont type in ' www dot pornhub dot com' into the search bar
#but like...sexual imagery is everywhere. ive seen sensuous commercials for like...cars. and milk. and bananas. and chocolate.
#USAmericans are so prudish when it comes to this. In other countries‚ nudity is just seen as natural. Some beaches even prohibit clothing
#why does the USA think bodies are a thing to hide? its a body. yes‚ some of us have penises. some of us have breasts. or god forbid‚ labia
#its important for kids to know about their bodies. the proper names. what they do. in an age appropriate manner of course.
#im not gonna explain to a 4 year old how sexual intercourse works in graphic detail. but USAm's are so prudish
#theyd rather prosecute gay and trans people for existing instead of teaching kids about bodies and autonomy and consent.
#and i dont even mean in a sexual way! in a 'its ok if you dont want to hug grandma' 'its ok to say no to being picked up'
#also...if a kid is being sexually abused‚ how are they going to know unless you teach them that?
#like... at least teach Billy what a penis is and who it is ok to look at it with permission (parent‚ doctor‚ trusted person)
#as a self proclaimed ultra modest prude‚ this stuff still grinds my gears and pisses me off. its not my say in who gets to see what
#if you have a credit card and are an adult (which you need to be to have a credit card) and you want to watch porn‚ you should be allowed
#as long as the site and all the participants are vetted and age verified‚ i dont see a problem there
#idk why I called myself a prude. i am self proclaimed ultra modest. but NOT a prude
#i dont believe sex and stuff is bad. its just not for me. but its still important not to hide away from natural human sexual desires
#if you wanna fuck a monster‚ as long as it can consent and is of age‚ i dont care what you do
Don't laugh at this because "Oh those silly monster f*ckers." This is a giant freaking RED FLAG just like with Only Fans.
#i posted this in november 2021 and it's still making the rounds#tagged as current events#that this is still a current issue is INFURIATING#protect your online freedoms#even if it means things you don't like are out there too
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa german people be normal about ex-soviet country immigrants challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
#goddddd i just had the most dogshit therapy appointment man#my mom went along with me to clear some bureaucratic stuff#and we also ended up talking about my current issues in the job market and how a lot of them have to do with the fact that#i feel like im being forced to do things that are harmful to me#(which she characterized as irrational in this convo which is doubly infuriating but whatever)#and this fucking joker was like 'oh you say you feel like youre being forced to do things?#that actually reminds me of how we havent really spoken about how your parents are from the soviet union'#and then she goes on to ask my mom all these weird questions about what it was like to live there#as though she was living under a fucking dystopian dictatorship and not in a fairly normal country in the 90s#my mom didnt even have to deal with the job market back then!!! she came here while she was still in highschool!!#same goes for my father!!#good lord#some personal shit
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Hello hello, I was wondering if you could please write a story (Short scenario) with the Hashiras and maybe the three upper moons. Where the reader aka their S/O had a small fight and is currently ignoring them but then she needs something from them that makes here go there like "Can you please open this for me/help me with this". I just think it would be cute to see their reaction to the reader being all flustered about having to ask them for help.
(Take your time and stay safe i luv you~) 💛❤️💛❤️
Giving your boyfriend the silent treatment…
…until you need help opening something. (Includes both Hashira and Upper Moons)
Pairing: Sanemi, Kyojuro, Gyomei, Giyu, Tengen, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza x fem!human!reader
Sanemi Shinazugawa
Sanemi would grow incredibly frustrated when you use the silent treatment against him. He’d try to ignore you as well by crossing his arms over his chest and sit in a different room, back facing the door at all times. He can’t stop thinking about you brooding and being upset with him, wich in return, makes him even more angry! Gods, you’re infuriating sometimes.
But once you come up to him and ask him to open a new jar of jam, he’d try to look mad, even though he wasn’t.
“You sure got some nerve to ask me now.”
He tries to show you that he still is kinda pissed with you, but still loves you. Sanemi would grumble about your timing and attitude from before while wrestling with the lid. After struggling for multiple minutes and failing, he got upset again and just gave it back to you, grumbling.
“Ask someone else, damnit! Don’t annoy me.”
Kyojuro Rengoku
Arguments are the worst for him. Kyojuro will feel and look like a distraught puppy who just got denied love for the rest of his life. He understands that you need space and will provide it, but the silent treatment is really breaking his heart. Kyojuro would sometimes try to start a conversation by asking about you what you’re doing or how you’re feeling.
He will feel absolutely delighted when you talk to him again. Of course he’d open a bottle for you! Happily so!
“Give it to me, I got it!”
Kyojuro popped the lid with ease and handed the bottle back to you, giving you puppy eyes and a bright smile. You seriously can’t ignore him anymore, it’s just too sad to see him depressed…
“Oh! You’re talking to me again! I’ve missed you, my flame!”
Gyomei Himejima
Although he’s not fond of your methods of resolving conflict and considers them a little childish, Gyomei will oblige, for now.
He will give you the same treatment you’re giving him, but will still remain around your person. Gyomei’ll silently meditate or pray while you continue your antics, being just as quiet as you are. He’d ponder about arguments he could deliver to you to break your silence and resolve this issue, but before he could come up with anything, you come up to him with a jar of honey. After you ask him to open it for you, Gyomei would softly smile and take the jar.
“Of course, my pearl.”
He opened it with ease and handed it back to you, but before you could go back to whatever you were doing, Gyomei’d speak up again.
“How about we resolve our argument now? I do not want to continue to fight.”
Giyu Tomioka
Giyu would unintentionally give you the silent treatment after arguments, and you decided to give one back. After noticing the lack of conversations and the sound of your voice, he’d feel more sad and try to avoid you all together to avoid even more conflict or your silent side glances. Giyu jumps slightly when you ask him to open a jar of fermented foods. He was incredibly surprised that you’d want to talk to him.
“Mhm. Give it.”
He… struggled with opening it. He tried around for two more minutes until he managed to open it with a spoon and using 80% of his strength. He feels embarrassed for failing opening something for you.
“You’re welcome.”
Tengen Uzui
How unflashy of you to ignore him like this. Do you know how bratty you look like? Sometimes he just wants to stick out his tongue at you when you’re not looking. Tengen would sulk and complain to the other girls about you, but Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma stick to you and your petty silent treatment, but they’d stick to you and would ignore him as well. You’re all ganging up on him at this point.
But once you come back to him and ask him for help opening your favourite drink, Tengen would feign being helpful.
“Gimme that, I’ll open it for you, beautiful~”
He’d open the glass for you and then proceed to chug everything down in one go, right in front of you while making sure to stay out of your reach.
“That’s what you get for being bratty!”
(He was not allowed back into the bedroom that night)
Kokushibo
You are being very immature. Kokushibo can give you the same silent treatment you are giving him, and he will outlast you by far. He will act very nonchalant about you ignoring him and will stop attempting making conversation after two tries. Kokushibo would return to his training or meditation, or sometimes even go on long missions to punish you even more for acting this petty.
Once you come back to him and ask him to open a jar of jam for you, Kokushibo will just stare you down silently.
“…..”
He proceeded to give you the silent treatment and not open the jar for you. You were left to fend for yourself. But at somepoint, Kokushibo could not watch you struggling to open the jar by using a sharp knife in hopes to get the lid loose. He snatched the jar out of your hands and opened it with ease.
“Here. Take it. Don’t try that again, you will injure yourself.”
Douma
Your silent treatment is very entertaining to Douma. Is this your way to punish him? How funny! He will try everything to make you break your silence by annoying you. Douma will nuzzle into your neck, kiss your most sensitive spots, whine into your ear, complain about your behaviour, poke against your cheek and pinch your skin. C’mon, do something with him! Anything! Stop ignoring him! Douma just kept following you around, whining around like a child.
Finally, you he saw you struggling with opening a jar of tea herbs and offered to help.
“Need help with that, lotus?”
Douma snatched the jar out of your hand and opened in a matter of seconds, but didn’t hand it back. He wanted you to say “I love you” before he hands it back. You gave in while heavily rolling your eyes, but Douma wasn’t satisfied with that. After a back and forth, you finally satisfied him by saying “I love you my dearest, lovely Douma” in a sincere tone. In his eyes, he won your silent treatment game.
“I won! Awww, why do you look so mad? Here, take your herbs back…. No thank you? What, are you ignoring me again?! Come ooooonnnn…”
Akaza
He was hurt and slightly scared by your silent treatment. Are you planning to leave him? Akaza would understand that. He’s rough, angry, a demon, prideful, not good with expressing his thoughts… the list of his flaws go on. Your silence is making him incredibly nervous and he let his nervous energy out during training and against the walls of the infinity castle until his knuckles bleed.
Then, finally, you approach Akaza with a problem: you can’t open your jar of candies. He felt himself smile slightly at your defeated face.
“So now you need me? Hm.”
Akaza casually tried slipping the lid off, but it was stuck. He felt his pride crumble bit by bit with everytime he tried opening the lid and failed. His anger rose and he slammed the jar against the corner of the wall, shattering the top of the glas jar off. The glass fell in onto your feet.
“… There.”
💠
This was one of my favourite requests so far! Thank you so much for requesting!! I’m currently working on How the Upper Moons would react to your affection, similar to what I posted with the hashira, so I was kinda switching back and forth between this and the other fic. Somehow, when I feel stressed, I’m the most creative and productive xD
Also, I absolutely love reading all of your comments and reposts. Some made me laugh out loud in public, so thank you for that!
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!! <3
Take care of yourselves <33 I appreciate you all.
#💠 house of vry 💠#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer#kny x reader#fluff#demon slayer hashira#sanemi x reader#demon slayer sanemi#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku x reader#kyojuro x reader#gyomei x reader#giyuu x reader#tengen x reader#uzui x reader#kokushibou x reader#doma x reader#douma x reader#akaza x reader#giyuu tomioka#gyomei himejima#kny kokushibo#douma x y/n#kny akaza#upper moon x reader#upper moon one#upper moon two#upper moon three#rengoku kyoujurou x reader#gyomei x y/n
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Guilty | sibilance. 3
synopsis ➳ ❝ after months you see Wonwoo at the annual party. lines are crossed, accusations are made and just after, your colleague voices out a crazy proposition.❞
pairing ➳ lawyer fem!reader x rich badboy!wonwoo (ft. Jeonghan)
genre ➳ angst, smut, drama
word count ➳ 4.5k + 900(patreon bonus)
warnings ➳ cursing, toxic ex vibes, slight love triangle, rough sex, unprotected intercourse, dom!wonwoo, big dic!wonwoo, messy makeouts, dirty talk, degradation, cream pie, no aftercare, so much drama.
previous chapter
The weather is misty today. Winter has passed quickly over the past three months, and now spring is starting to ease the chill from the air. Yet, you still feel just as tired, if not more so than before.
A break is an imminent necessity, but you will not be getting any until you wrap up your current case. It is a huge one, viral on social media due to its scandalized nature, but most importantly, your client and his opponent are extremely exhausting. It is like managing toddlers, and you are ever so grateful that Jeonghan is also handling this case with you.
It is a particularly sensitive case because your client is the owner of the biggest textile company in the country and also, Chairman Jeon’s good friend, Mr Kim. Last month, he married his daughter off to another huge chaebol family in the country and the issue began with the catering service for the wedding, owned by Mr Kim’s ex business partner and current rival. The guests all got food poisoning right in the middle of the ceremony and the bride had an allergic reaction, throwing Mr Kim into a fit as he claimed it to be an attempted murder to get revenge on him.
Things have been chaotic since then, keeping you on your toes.
Despite being snowed under your work, a particular rumour floating around the Jeon Corporation caught your attention and has been a constant form of distraction ever since you heard it.
Word on the street says that Chairman Jeon is set to announce a new CEO at the annual party of the company taking place this weekend and apparently, one candidate is his own son and the other is a completely new hire. Six months ago you would have laughed at the rumour of the Chairman’s son, Wonwoo— who you know personally, taking over the company but now, you can say nothing for sure.
It has been nearly three months since you last saw him, partly due to your hectic schedule and also due to the lack of work at Jeon Corporation. Since you have not visited the headquarters recently, you have not been tortured by the sight of that infuriating man but you have to admit that thoughts of Wonwoo have been plaguing your mind. They pop up randomly in your head and you hate your mind for betraying you like that.
You are supposed to move on. And it was not even an actual relationship so why are you still thinking about that stupid, spoiled brat?
“Your drink.” Jeonghan places your coffee on your desk, snapping you out of your reverie. You turn from the window in front of which you were standing and walk back to your desk, taking a sip of your latte with a grateful smile. “I still cannot believe you got my order exactly right on the first try. Thank you.”
It is truly insane. A month ago one day, as your work started piling up, you stopped taking your usual coffee breaks and instead asked Jeonghan to grab you something, forgetting to mention how you like your coffee. Unbelievably, when you tried what he brought for you, you were astounded to the point of silence.
Turns out you and his sister have very similar tastes so he got lucky with that.
“You are most welcome.” Jeonghan smiles, throwing a cheeky wink at you. “Just knock on my door if you need anything.”
“Will do.” You pause for a moment. Just as he is about to close the door behind him, you call, “Jeonghan, you’re attending the party this weekend, right?”
The man steps back into your office. “Yes. Actually, I am glad that you brought it up.”
You wait, looking at him expectantly.
“Would you be my date for the evening?”
You smile. “Gladly.” Everyone you know already has a plus one so you were dreading showing up alone. As always, Jeonghan has come to the rescue.
“I am honoured.” Jeonghan smiles, his eyes crinkling beautifully. “I was worried Mr. Pi would ask me to be his plus one. I mean it was either going to be you or me.”
You snort a burst of laughter. “I know, right? But he will not get off our backs when he figures out we’re coming together. You know he has that weird obsession of pairing us together like a couple.”
Suddenly, Jeonghan’s face grows serious.“That isn’t a bad idea, you know.”
A soft sigh falls from your lips.
“You should move on from him. It has been long enough, don’t you think?”
“I am over him,” you reply, almost defensively. “Listen, if there is one thing I have learned, it is, not to date where you work.”
Jeonghan chuckles softly. “Office romance is quite fun you know.”
You arch a teasing brow. “Someone seems experienced.’’ The man smiles secretively before stepping closer to the door, pulling it open with one hand. “Just giving you a heads up, you haven’t seen me in a suit yet.”
“I see you in a suit every day, Jeonghan.” You sass.
The man rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. A proper three piece suit. A tuxedo. Prepare to have your mind blown.” He shakes his palms for dramatic effect.
You sip your coffee. “Mhm, stop pestering me now. I have so much work to do.”
The man flashes a smile before pulling the door closed.
You still have a grin lingering on your lips as you open your files and start skimming through them.
—
On Saturday night, Jeonghan is in front of your house sharply at 7.
You rush to the door as you receive his text, putting on your heels and scrambling to get your purse and phone.
You are going to be late but hey, at least you will be fashionably late.
Buying this emerald green dress impulsively six months ago was not a bad idea, you now realize, because you love how the dress fits you. With your hair and makeup done, it is almost a completely new you and you may have taken too long admiring yourself in the mirror.
Jeonghan’s jaw goes slack as he watches you step out of your apartment building. His expression makes you laugh and you cannot help but shake your head at his overexaggeration.
“Wow,” his eyes move up and down as he steps closer to you. “Fucking hell. You look absolutely stunning.”
Shyly you avoid his gaze. “Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself.” You gesture towards him, waving your hand up and down his height. The coffee-coloured three piece suit is truly a fabulous compliment to his brushed back blond hair.
The man shakes his head. “You were the one who should have given me a heads up. I have the prettiest woman in the party as my date.”
This man sure has a way with his words.
“I can see why you are such a successful lawyer, Mr. Yoon.” You saunter past him. “Let’s get going now. We’re already late.”
“Yes madam,” he rushes past you to hold open the car door, making you smile.
—
The venue is crowded when you arrive.
It takes no more than five minutes for your colleagues to spot the two of you and five more minutes later, you are graced by Mr. Pi’s holy presence. He gushes over the two of you and when Jeonghan escapes the conversation by saying he’ll get drinks for you, Mr. Pi corners you.
“Are you sure you are not dating our dear Mr. Yoon?”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “No, Mr. Pi. Come on now, let it be.”
He hums and then nods thoughtfully, pushing his sunglasses up his nose bridge.
Who knows why he is wearing that indoors and at night.
“I understand,” the man rubs his chin slowly and seriously as if he is pondering the most critical issue of life. “Our chairman’s handsome son left a lasting impression on you.”
Even before you realise it, a soft, almost wistful sigh escapes your lips. “Can we not talk about him? At least not here?”
Mr. Pi looks at you from above his sunglasses, “This is the place to talk about him. Tonight people will talk about him.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll see.”
Wait, what?
“Mr. Pi—” You reach out for him but he spots an old colleague and walks over to him, ignoring you with a dismissive wave of his hand.
Right then, Jeonghan is back with two flutes of champagne in his hands. You snatch one from him and immediately gulp it down. Then, you narrow your eyes at him. “Nice job, jerk. Leaving me alone with him.”
The man cheekily shrugs his shoulder, unable to fight off the knowing smile blooming on his lips. Grinning at you, he sips his champagne.
With a shake of your head, you go around the room accompanied by Jeonghan, mingling with old and new faces. The stage is being set up for the upcoming speeches by the top executives of the company. The closing speech will, of course, be Chairman Jeon’s. The grand hall room increasingly grows crowded as you finish two more glasses of champagne while socialising, everyone eager to hear the big announcement.
“I think you have drunk enough for now.” Jeonghan blocks your hand when you reach for the fourth glass as a waiter passes by. You pout, “Oh come on. Socialising takes a lot of energy. I cannot talk to these boring people about boring things on a Saturday night while being sober.”
A scoff of amusement comes from him and he opens his mouth to say something but his vision shifts, focusing on something behind you. His expression changes and you turn your head back to see what he is looking at.
Not what. Who.
Wonwoo stands a few feet behind you, looking unfairly stunning. The contrast of his black blazer against his crisp white shirt is stunning and with sharp features and his hair brushed back, he is a scene stealer.
He, however, seems not to attract attention as he remains on the edge of the hall room, near where the lights are dimmer. As your eyes meet his and the raging beat of your heart loudens, he holds your gaze before taking quick steps towards you.
Within a couple of seconds, he is right in front of you.
“We need to talk. Privately.” He says, his posture slightly rigid, and he looks around the room as if making sure no one sees him.
You don’t have much time to process his words as he ushers you away by tugging your wrist. You look back at Jeonghan almost helplessly and the man gives you an understanding nod. “I’ll be here, don’t worry.”
You are quickly rushed out of the grand room and pulled down a hallway at the end of which there are a few private rooms. Wonwoo pulls you inside and shuts the door behind you.
The room is messy and if you are not wrong, it seems to be his dressing room.
In your mind, an equation starts to form as you take everything in.
Finally, your eyes land on Wonwoo after scouring the room and you find him looking at you attentively.
There is a hard lump in your throat that you have to swallow.
“Hi.” The man says quietly, almost shyly.
“It has been a while,” you murmur as a greeting, trying to keep your voice as flat as possible.
“Way too long,” he replies, his voice much quieter as he enunciates each word slowly and carefully. You wonder if it is your mind playing tricks on you or if the depth of his eyes just increased tenfold.
Whatever, you cannot let yourself get caught up in this again. The tension in the air is thickening by the second.
“Why did you bring me here?” You avoid his eyes, your gaze settling on the skin peeking from underneath his shirt as the two buttons are undone.
“Right.” Wonwoo blinks as if breaking out of a trance. “I wanted to tell you something. I mean…it will be announced later but I thought you out of all people should hear it from me first.”
The way he speaks, his eyes skirting around, his hands fidgety tells you what the news is. You voice it out for him. “You are taking over the company?”
You see his pupils widen. After a moment's pause, he says. “Yes.”
Hm. He is dressed too fancy to attend as a mere employee anyway.
You are proud of him for sure. He has grown as a person since you last saw him. But at the same time, there is dread in the pit of your stomach. With him now taking over the company, there is no escaping him. You will be seeing him, whether you like it or not.
“Congratulations.” You hum. “I appreciate you informing me separately but it wasn’t necessary. We don’t have any personal contact. I am just another employee, Jeon…Chairman Wonwoo.”
Wonwoo looks at you with surprise and you wonder if it is your icy demeanour that makes him frown.
“Still…I have to thank you. You had a huge part to play in getting me here.”
Oh really?
For a brief moment, your mind flashes back to earlier this year when you were seeing each other. The late night talks about his future with the company. You find yourself wondering how he managed to earn his father’s trust so quickly because you remember him telling you his father would never let him take over. Due to his unrefined behaviors, of course. But it seems that he has grown out of them which is good for him.
“I better get going. Jeonghan is probably waiting for me.” You step towards the door but Wonwoo grabs your upper arm, pulling you back with a gentle tug.
“Do you not miss me? Not one bit?” His voice is so thick with emotion that it feels foreign to you. Like his, your throat closes up, and you hate how a few words from him make tears burn in the back of your eyes.
“It doesn’t matter. Just let—”
“It does! There is something else I have to tell you.”
“I don’t care!” You yell, jerking yourself free from his hold. “You can not act all familiar after so long. We are not like that anymore! Why can’t you understand?”
In the semi darkness of the room, you see his eyes glimmer.
The very next moment he is kissing you.
And you are kissing him back.
Just for tonight, you tell yourself as your resolve slips. You are going to give in just tonight. Just one last time. You truly don’t have it in you to turn away from him now, from his warmth, touch, and embrace when this is what you have been longing for the past few months.
Maneuvering your body with his, he pins you against the wall, trapping you with ease. And tonight, there is nowhere you want to escape to.
"I missed you." He whispers like a mantra, devouring your mouth like a starved man. He trails kisses down your jaw as his hands remove your straps from your shoulders, revealing the entire expanse of your shoulder and neck for him to play with. In between heated kisses, his hands explore your breasts, playing with your soft mounds over the fabric of your dress.
No words are exchanged between the two of you.
Your hands move over his chest, feeling the firm muscles under your fingertips before pushing his blazer off his shoulders. The lines are hazy just like your mind as you cannot decipher who pulls whom closer. In the dense cloud of lust, you can only fathom the opening of the buttons of his shirt and his warm body pressing next to yours.
“I need you,” Wonwoo murmurs against your lips. One of his hands moves expertly down your thigh before he grips the back of your knee and places it around his waist. You pull him even closer, smashing your lips against his, hot and heavy as your tongue meets his.
Briefly, you hear the groan of his zipper being undone. You lift your dress, standing at an angle that helps him comfortably slide between your legs, his unrelenting grip on the back of your thigh.
"Put your hands over my shoulders and hold tight. " His whisper is a command as he positions himself at your entrance, pushing your panties to a side.
And before you can blink, he's inside you. The stretch of the intrusion makes you jolt and let out a loud, breathy groan of pleasure that makes you squeeze his shoulders and bite your lip.
This. This is exactly what you wanted. Exactly what you needed.
You feel every delicious inch of him, moving in and out of you, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. making your body shake from the onslaught of pleasure. Your hold on his shoulders tightens as little squeaks escape from your lips and your legs wrap themselves around his body tighter when you start to taste your release.
"Gosh, you're so tight. I missed you.” He grunts with each thrust. “Letting me fuck you against a wall, in my dressing room. Tell me, did you miss this? Did you miss me like I missed you?" Wonwoo demands, a hand reaching up to squeeze your cheeks, forcing you to look into his eyes.
“Look at me and tell me you did not miss me,” he pants, a snarl etched in his tone as he removes his hand from your face and grips the back of your throat, pulling your face closer to his.
"W-Wonwoo," you try to moan. Wonwoo keeps watching you with a darkened gaze, his pace matching the fierceness in his gaze as he continues to drill into you. He shakes after giving you a particular hard thrust, that makes your toes curl and your eyes roll back. “You are still that dirty girl. You're still my filthy slut."
You hate how much you missed his filthy mouth.
"P-please," you pant, breathless trying to grind your clit against his pelvis. One touch on your clit and you're gonna come. "Please, let me come, Wonwoo."
The man smiles, and it almost appears cruel and cocky as he grabs your wrists in one hand and pins them hard on the wall. He increases his pace, thrusting in and out of you so hard that your back starts aching. However, you are way beyond complaining because the next moment his release is filling you up, triggering yours. Your cry is loud and unceremonious as you cling to him and ride out your high, feeling your release in the deepest fibres of your being
A short moment later, Wonwoo’s grip on you loosens. With a slightly hazy mind, you watch you grab some tissues, cleaning up you and him. With the haze of lust disappearing gradually, you find your head clearing up. The silence in the air now feels suffocating and you find yourself playing a guessing game.
Why is he so quiet? What is he thinking?
As Wonwoo buttons up his shirt and fixes his jacket, his gaze meets yours and you see his eyes fall on your lips. Pressing your fingertips around your lips, you realise your lipstick is smudged. Quietly, he hands you a tissue paper and you walk to the mirror, using it to dab the lipstick stain around your lips.
In the mirror, you watch Wonwoo watching you. All throughout, another strange, suffocating silence persists. As you toss the tissue in the bin, the silence is finally broken by his quiet, somber voice, “My father arranged a marriage for me.”
Your body grows ice cold.
For one long, horrible moment, you stop breathing, thinking, praying that you heard wrong.
“What are you…what— what do you mean?”
“He wants me to marry a chaebol heiress— Yuna Lee, sometime next year.”
Suddenly, you are scrambling to get your thoughts in order. It is always like this with him. One moment it is quiet and the next you are hit by a full speed freight train.
“You should not have done that. We should not have done that. Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
“Well, I tried—”
Suddenly, your blood is boiling and you are seeing red.
“What was this, a goodbye fuck?” You hiss, fixing the straps of your dress.
“What?” Wonwoo scoffs. “No! I have been thinking about you for months! Trying to figure out how to approach you—
“With all that thinking you sure did one good job!” You find yourself turning towards the door.
“Oh come on! I…I missed you. You drive me crazy. You know damn well my brain stops working when you are near me.”
“No, Wonwoo. I don’t.” You grit.
The passion, the emotion that you have been holding back all these months comes out in tidal waves. “In case you don’t remember, during our relationship, you were always so nonchalant, so detached. You did not give a shit about me. Not really because I was a fuck buddy to you. A girl getting paid to get your ass out of trouble every time and also someone available for a quick bang!”
Wonwoo’s demeanour shifts. You visibly see him get defensive. “Well, it's not like you professed your love to me! You did not ever hint that you were in love with me.”
Your mouth falls open at the absurdity of his words.
“You… you did not treat me with the minimum respect. You would disappear for weeks, Wonwoo, completely out of the radar only to show up when you needed my help.” You pause. “Never mind, it is pointless to argue with you.” You turn, reaching for the handle of the door.
Wonwoo stops you by roughly tugging on your arm. His grip is iron solid. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to leave without hearing my piece!”
You place a hand on his and use it to remove his fingers from your skin. “The time for speaking was months ago. Not now in a dressing room, minutes before you are about to be announced the new CEO.”
“I finally have my life together!”
“Do you?” You take a step closer to him with a challenge. “Do you really?”
Wonwoo remains silent, his eyes sparkling with thundering storms and clouds of emotions.
You continue. “I was your comfort zone. You used me when you needed me and then forgot about me when you were not in the mood. It would not have mattered if I professed undying love for you. You did not love me, not in the right way. You did not and you don’t right now. This is you trying to find comfort in something familiar…me.”
A twisted, unironical smile appears on his lips. “Oh, so you are what now, a therapist?”
You remain silent, watching him without blinking.
The man shakes his head, scoffing. “If you only knew how I truly felt…” His fingers card through his hair as he takes a step back. “You have no idea how I feel. In fact, right now, I don’t think you even know how you feel!”
Your lips part, ready to interject, but he goes on. “You are right. This was a mistake. I should not have told you about my dad’s plans of getting me married. No, because you would have liked to just straight up receive my wedding invite, huh? I should have just married her and showed up with her one day and introduced you as a special friend, no? Would you have liked that? Would that be the right thing to do?”
Each syllable coming out of his mouth burns like acid. Tears blur your vision but you force yourself not to cry in front of him.
“I fucking hate you.” You breathe, uttering each world slowly. “I hope you have a miserable life with her, you asshole. Never show me your face again.” Gathering your dress with one hand, you march towards the door, not stopping when he calls out your name or tries to hold onto you.
He can go to hell.
Your steps are quick as you pick up pace, running down the long hallway of the private rooms and then down a common corridor before you come to the large foyer in front of the elevator. With your skirt fisted in your hands, you dash for it but a voice makes you pause.
You turn back to find Jeonghan calling your name and jogging after you. As he comes to a stop in front of you, his eyes go up and down the length of your body, taking notice of your dishevelled appearance.
“Are you okay?” His fingers gently touch your arm but you don’t let him pull you closer.
You need to leave.
“I need to go home.” You whisper, voice wobbly.
“Why are you running?” He steps closer to you, a desperation in his voice that matches the look in your eyes. “That bastard keeps hurting you and you keep running from him. Go and fucking… I don’t know— cause a scene! Drag him on stage and smack him once or twice.”
You are not in the mood for this.
“Stop it, Jeonghan,” you grunt turning away but the man steps in front of you.
“No! I won’t stop when I see you repeatedly suffering because of him.”
If you were not so overcome with emotions, you would roll your eyes.
“Just let me go.” You hiss, stepping past the man blocking your way. As you cross him, however, a harsh grip on your wrist forces you to stop.
“Go out with me,” Jeonghan says in the calmest manner, the hold of his fingers on your wrist steadfast like his voice.
You almost make a move to yank yourself free but the diction of those words stops you in your tracks as if a thunderbolt has just struck you. You slowly turn your head back to meet Jeonghan’s eyes, wondering if he really said that. The strength you had moments ago to break your hand free suddenly dissipates as you meet his piercing gaze.
Along with your heartbeat, time stops.
You forget to blink, feeling the subtle tightening of his grip on you. As the silence hangs longer in the air and the depth of his words settles into the empty grand hall and every crevice of your tattered heart, you find yourself motionless, thoughtless, speechless.
“Date me. You know I’ll treat you better.” He states, again.
You feel like you are hyperventilating. A shaky breath comes from your lips and after that, each breath is a struggle.
Suddenly, everything is too much.
Too much light in this hall. Too much noise in the background.
Too much sincerity in his words.
For a moment, you genuinely find yourself considering.
And as your gaze strays from your colleague for the smallest moment, you notice Wonwoo standing a few meters behind him.
The look in his eyes is inexplicable but you feel every emotion radiating off him and you immediately know he heard everything. He doesn’t move, however. As the silence persists, his gaze darkens, watching you like a hawk, almost as if he is waiting to hear your verdict.
At the same time, the longer you look, his gaze appears vulnerable, betrayed.
And you feel…guilty.
Want to know how Jeonghan actually got the reader's order right? Read the special scene here!
series masterliest
#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#wonwoo smut#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fluff#svt imagines#seventeen#wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo scenarios#wonwoo#svt fanfic#svt smut#seventeen angst#kpop imagines#jeon wonwoo#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan x reader
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good/accurate coverage? maybe not. i haven’t actually read most of their coverage of this specifically, but many of these have... not inspired confidence in their ability to report well on palestine, to put it lightly, so i’m not arguing you should like or trust what any of these news sources have to say about the case.
but “collectively ignored” is easily disprovable objective bullshit. you can look in the notes for links to these sources’ coverage of the case. this kind of statement is constantly spread on here on like every issue, and it’s really frustrating, because in my opinion that then takes attention away from actual criticism of the CONTENT of the mainstream news coverage that does in fact exist.
i used op’s profile picture in the meme cause i thought it was funny but lots of people do this sort of shit, and it’s bad every time
#undescribed#unfunny meme aggregate accounts pivoting their content to relate to the current issue of interest#but their content is still really bad memes and misinformation#so now they’re muddying the water and taking attention away from people actually saying important things about a VERY SERIOUS ISSUE#it’s infuriating.
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Hello time to yap about life and media again! 🥰
It's been a month and a half since we fully moved into this new old house and it's been a steep learning curve!! so far we had to learn how to care for a garden and grow fruit, how to deal with extremely humid weather, the mold!! also learning about various repairs, electricity and plumbing, we had a leak that turned one lamp into a waterfall, the rcd keeps tripping every time it rains, had to fix a door in the dark after Nicolas got himself trapped in a room when the handle broke during a power outage, the heating system is an air to water heat pump and it took us ages to figure out how to set it up correctly so we spent weeks wearing 3 layers inside the house, I even fell down the stairs!! I'm not used to having stairs inside the house lmao It's a big adjustment when you've always lived in small apartments in big cities all your adult life, but to be honest we love it!! everything feels like a new quest for us to tackle and it is so much fun figuring it all out as we go, reading technical manuals by candle light, the teamwork of installing and assembling furniture and networks, pruning the trees, celebrating every small mundane accomplishment and new skill learned every night over dinner, I may be corny as hell but it all feels like a privilege and an adventure 😭
Media wise we watched the second season of Arcane! This series never fails to make me fall in love with art again, not that I've ever fallen out but I can't say that the whole AI debacle hasn't been ass for the morale. Aesthetically it is a masterpiece. The character design, the cinematography, the mixed media montages aaaa Seeing the work, the skill and care that was put into every frame reminded me of how important and human the storytelling aspect of art really is. I wonder if we will see a shift to the more story driven or conceptual arts when we look back on this period, but I ramble, back to Arcane. I have mostly praise for it, wonderful characters and very touching relationships. I think our only issues were with the pacing being too slow at the start, every character climbing out of a very low point, and then too fast which made the second half feel a bit rushed. This season also felt a bit more tropey than the first one but still really solid. It remains one of the best animated series ever made and I am so happy to see it succeed in this current environment 😭 It feels like teenagehood condensed into a show, we really enjoyed it. I hope we get a season 3!!
Also there was an update in our David Tennant filmography quest! we watched The Politician's Husband and unsurprisingly we loved it!! It was gripping and the acting was brilliant. It is actually what I was expecting Rivals to be like, I realize 🤔 I think it could have used a 4th episode, felt like it ended too quickly and there was room for more, as if they ran out of time to tie things up so they picked the quickest route. But it was really good!! These miniseries are always so engaging and so short, I need mooreee.
We missed our DT nights!! Nicolas spent the last week hunting for more of David's work for us to watch. We've been hosting family for a few days again last week and on top of work and everything else we had to pause them for a bit. But now we are back to our nightly routine and he's over the moon!! Instant mood boost it's embarrassing lmao both of us falling this hard for this guy is too enabling, he even made his name our guest wifi password, we are besotted 😂
Oh! I also I saw a Veilguard Q&A was happening and read a few replies I saw posted here, and it proved to be a huge mistake! It was a disappointing and truly infuriating read. What even happened during the production of this game lmao How come the average fan seems to have a much better grasp on the lore, characters and plot than the people who made it 😭 There is this gaping disconnect between intent and execution. The way that fans are trying to make sense and give meaning to the complete mess that is the writing in an attempt to salvage and preserve the aspects they loved about it is saddening. I am mentally throwing tomatoes at John Epler as we speak. His answers felt so unserious and baffling at best and offensive and petty at worst. It's been eye opening, I could go on a two hour rant but the more I learn and dwell on it the more bitter I become about it all and I'm already seeing ten year old discourse resurface and people getting weird about it so I'll just ..🚶♀️ In my eyes this world and it's characters now belong only to those who love it and lives in my memory 🫡
Anyway, this ended up being at least twice as long as I was planning to make it again 😭 and I still have to catch up with asks aaaa it's been a busy month sorry I'll get to them soon!! Thank you for reading and for the support and for just being here!! I hope you all have a great week 🥺❤️
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Something that's stuck with me from the Arch Heart's appearance, which highlights a major underpinning of my frustration with C3, is the "Big Doors don't work" comment.
In what way exactly is the Big Door not working?
The purpose of the Divine Gate was to mitigate the gods exerting undo influence on mortal affairs, and according to everything we've seen in all 3 campaigns up to this point, this was a demonstrable success: the Calamity ended, and despite multiple potentially world-ending catastrophes cropping up since then, it has been up to mortals to deal with these threats. They've often done so with divine aid, but I fail to see how that's overreaching on the gods' part when accepting said aid is still dependent on mortal choice.*
Part of the Arch Heart's reasoning for wanting to "let go" is, as I understand it, because mortals continue to rebel against and resent the gods even from behind the Divine Gate. Which, yes they do, but like... the customer is not always right. Not every complaint needs to be catered to, especially the ones based on faulty postulates.
I get that this is not how the Arch Heart is thinking about it; my issue is not with the roleplay of individual characters, but with the narrative whole and the sheer amount of time it has spent, both in the text and extra-textual framing, sincerely entertaining the base axioms of an argument that is so poorly constructed Ludinus wouldn't make it past round one of a middle school debate club. None of the anti-god arguments have given any tangible evidence for the claim that the gods are an oppressive force or that Exandria would be better off without them that is not either:
A. Aeor, which was pre-Divine Gate and in fact the catalyst for the gods to pull back on interfering with mortal affairs, and therefore not all that pertinent to the current status quo;
or B. an event or action that, while it may be done in the name of the gods (e.g. Hearthdell) or directly encouraged by a god (e.g. Opal and the Crown) is nonetheless still contingent on mortals making choices, and therefore not a convincing argument that the gods are infringing on free will,** nor that removing them would prevent these types of situations.
An ongoing motif of C3 has been showing perspectives which challenge the prevailing narrative about the gods as established within Exandria's lore to this point. As a story enjoyer, I normally would eat up this sort of reversal—I love a metatextual play with in-universe narratives. But to do so convincingly requires more substance than a handful of characters going 'Trust me bro.' I'm going to need to see some peer-reviewed studies on Exandrian metaphysics before I take Ludinus "17 ulterior motives stacked in a wizard robe" Da'leth's word over what I've seen with my own brain over thousands of hours worth of game play.
If the message of the narrative is telling me to question the diegetic information it presents, then I am going to do just that. So far every argument that the gods do more harm than good for Exandria has been rampant citationless behavior. I find it baffling and borderline infuriating that we're approaching the denouement of this campaign and I still have yet to see evidence that the core conflict of the story, the central debate which has plagued every in-game and fandom discussion for a year now, is based on an actual problem. Like, at all.
*If you think Vax did not exercise his own agency and free will in every step of becoming Champion of the Matron, you are simply wrong.
**For real, we know there are magical means of straight-up mind control in Exandria. Like, you don't have to approve of it, but the gods engaging in standard issue verbal manipulation does not constitute a violation of free will, and it certainly doesn't make the argument that they are so immeasurably more powerful than mortals that they should not be allowed to exist.
#anyway earlier today I reblogged a shitpost that says better in 2 images what I took 3 days and ~8 paragraphs to articulate#so you should reblog that instead of this#critrole#c3#cr spoilers
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can we really? because that's not been my experience in this fandom.
western fandom has a consistent problem in overriding other cultures with their own. emphasis on western holidays/traditions, western folklore/stories, western customs, the specific way western cultures engage with queer topics/politics. this happens constantly for all eastern media, but to me it's always seemed particularly egregious for Thai media and esp Thai bl (tbf, this is potentially because it's one of my bigger online spaces while also not being a big space so it's just what I'm seeing more of, but it is so bad). people often push back with either "it's just a joke" or "you can't expect everyone to just know everything about [other culture] just for fanfic/fandom," except that only applies when people have made the effort to learn about that culture. it's not an excuse to ignore it completely.
and what's so mind-boggling to me about moonlight chicken in particular is the constant sectioning of Jim, Wen, and Li Ming into "different generations of queer." They aren't! Jim was running a restaurant while happily in an open queer relationship with his boyfriend, yet the fucking number of times I've had to see "lol internalized homophobia" (do you guys know what internalized homophobia means) or "he's from a different generation of queer where theyre resigned to being queer" (fucking WHAT?!) posts is overwhelming huge to the number of times I've seen posts that acknowledge or engage with moonlight chickens extremely pointed narrative that social acceptance is not enough when the law does not protect queer people's rights and what happened to Jim can still happen to Wen, still happen to Li Ming. (I have seen. 2 posts that engage with it. one of which was mine. I blocked the tag for a good 8 months because it was so overwhelmingly "lol internalized homophobia" posts.)
I genuinely don't mean this comment directly to you. I don't mean this as a "no fun allowed" comment either, but Thai bl fandom, moonlight chicken fandom esp, is so. bad. about ignoring the heavily Thai cultural elements of its narrative that none of the jokes are funny in the larger fandom context.
its so weird seeing posts that mock uncle jim for worrying about li ming's queerness as though his dead boyfriend's parents (legally) stealing his entire life savings and leaving him to manage a restaurant business specifically because gay couples aren't legally recognized as couples wasn't what put him in a cycle of crushing debt and endless poverty in the first place
#moonlight chicken#again don't mean this at this tagger specifically#they just managed to hit a hot button of mine#theres a heavily prevalent attitude that its okay to skip learning about another culture because 'its just fandom'/'im doing this for free'#you know whats also free people!#MAKING A FUCKING EFFORT#i just.#moonlight chicken puts so much care and thought and very personal emotion into the struggles of being queer and of being impoverished#and particularly in how those issues compound#jim and his sister only had each other and ran away looking for better opportunities#jim's only family relationship was strained by his queerness#jim chose his queer happiness and lived a fulfilling life openly with his boyfriend including acting married (shared business shared home)#even tho he and his boyfriend could not actually get married or any sort of civil engagement/binding that would be legally binding#and because this binding was not legal. when his boyfriend was not only revealed to have an ENTIRELY SEPARATE SECRET LIFE and then DIED#before jim could have any proper confrontation with him (and thereby also have a chance to sort out/separate his personal affairs)#which then enabled his boyfriends parents to take *everything* from him#they ~deigned~ to leave him a business even tho they removed all of his previous gains which are *super fucking needed* in that business#and like. this isn't actually a thai thing. this is a very very VERY common queer narrative. its a large part of why queer marriage was#the centralized issue/banner for queer rights. recognizing queer unions as *legal* unions is a Big Fucking Deal#western nations have not recognized queer marriage rights until pretty recently. US's national legalization of it is less than 10 years old#this is still pretty new and it only happened because of all the '''''old'''''' queers online spaces pretend dont exist. the loud and proud#ones who fought bloodily for these rights. and. a LOT of queer thai directors have been discussing how social acceptance is not enough#because thailand has a queer friendly face via media but absolutely none of the legislature protecting queer rights#the way western fandoms interact with thai bl ignores their own queer history and thailands current queer culture in favor of their own#personal distorted reality where only under 20s (MAYBE 25s if theyre feeling generous) have fought for and openly accepted queerness.#its dismissive and infuriating and so many other things. the *relentless* jokes and discussions of jim being a ~queer elder~ (he's not)#and at the very least careless and thoughtless flattening of his internalized homophobia (and. he doesnt really have that. but i digress)#its just not funny. at what point are the jokes jokes and at what point do the jokes become harmful ignorance#this is a problem in a lot of thai bl and asian bl media overall.#but this fandom in particular is *so* bad about it
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Hazbin & Helluva Vs. Aromanticism
(Aka: I have a problem with the Spindlehorse team about this, not shippers.)
(Also this is mainly about Alastor but can go for Octavia and Mammon too.)
Alright, so I've cleaned up this uh... rant, to make things a little more clear hopefully. But to summarize here, this is about the team's lack of commitment when every other character is allowed full confirmation of their orientations but these (potentially) aromantic characters aren't.
While I have no beef with shippers (I think you can ship whoever with whoever you want, I ship Alastor too on occasion), there is some conversation about how the fandom might be a bit of a reason WHY they "can't" be confirmed as aro. But again, my main problem is more with the showrunners than the fandom at this point about this.
I'll also be getting into why it's "important" and the double standards against characters being aromantic.
This is not an attack, ship however way you wish (again, I do it myself). My intent isn't really to stop the shipping, that would be ridiculous. But more so to give my thoughts on why it's BS characters like Alastor can't be confirmed as aromantic when other characters are allowed confirmed orientations.
I will start off by saying I don't mind the shipping of Alastor. While it's NOBODY'S business but mine, I suppose it's important to clarify that I'm someone who does currently identify as aroace. I might be wrong but who cares, it's how I think of myself now at least to some degree (I do after all still have fictional crushes. Real-life romance is not an interest for me though, don't like 'em).
I'm gonna get what I don't think people talk about enough on both sides of being for and against shipping Alastor, and then I'll talk about the shippers as they're (I realized) not my main issue at this point.
A little history: So Alastor has been long time confirmed as an ace character. He hasn't been confirmed as being sex-repulsed or anything, but I can personally say I don't mind either flavor of him being repulsed or favorable (though I imagine the series will lean towards the former to counter everyone else's sex-favorable attitude and for jokes). This statement was initially taken VERY poorly by fans who, at the time, were shipping radiodust and radiobelle/charlastor, one more than the other. Care to take a guess which? The answer will not surprise you.
But then people realized "Oh, asexual doesn't mean he COULDN'T get with someone" and people even went further to "Being asexual doesn't mean he CAN'T have sex", both very true statements. So shipping was back on the menus boys! And his asexual was certainly blurred a bit (to the point where it wasn't even him being sex-favorable asexual as much as just not asexual, something that still happens but certainly not as bad). But overall, people were taking his canonicity as asexual with as much grace as a duck.
So here's where MY problem comes in. While I have some gripes with shippers, I had an epiphany that "Oh. It's not really the shippers I have a problem with. It's the people WRITING THE DAMN CHARACTER". Which, might I just say, is so much worst.
The shippers, while they got annoying at some points and certainly can be still, are just having fun. Because shipping just happens to be the way most people like to interact with characters in the media they're into. Hell, I am no different. I just have the misfortune of only really getting into rarepairs most of the time (curse you my bizarre tastes). I've even shipped with Alastor, I like AngelicSmile/radiojoy quite a bit.
Back on track. Now, what do I mean by my main problem being with the writers more than the fans with this? Well, queue this darling of a clip about the topic (this is the only clip I've found of the live stream, feel free to watch the whole video but just wanted the clip here).
This. Single. Clip. Infuriates me.
Vivzi, while I'm sure not meant to, pretty much implied "Alastor being aromantic and 'non-shippable' would ruin people's fun". I'm sure she meant it as a way to keep others from policing shippers (which didn't work, it still happens), it really just reads as "a character being aromantic is not a fun character". Like there's something wrong with being aro.
Not to mention some other things that would contradict this statement:
Viv in the past said "fans are allowed to ship outside character orientations", so... what makes that so different here with confirming Alastor as aromantic?
It being confirmed is not relevant to the plot. Great, so is every other orientation not relevant. Why can't Alastor be confirmed as aromantic but Vaggie can be confirmed as a lesbian or Vox bi? What does Vox being bisexual have to do with the plot? Neither is relevant to the plot, but one can be confirmed but not the other?
People were gonna ship him ANYWAY. Like, there's really no point in pretending. They were going to anyway because of the first point I already mentioned, but also people ship against canon orientations ALL THE TIME. It's just gonna happen and there's nothing wrong with that in of itself.
You've kind of just implied it's canon by not wanting to say specifically him being aromantic is canon or not. If Viv had just said "I don't wanna confirm his romantic orientation because...", then this statement would be fine and fair I suppose. But she had to call out him being aromantic specifically. And I mean, he COULD be something else (he was slated to be a couple with Mimzy originally after all), but the context doesn't seem like that would be the case. Plus, would she really feel the need to hold back from saying "Alastor is homoromantic" or biromantic or heteroroman- actually yes for that last one probably.
So riddle me this, with these points, why the FUCK would it be so wrong to confirm Alastor as a canonically aromantic icon and help get MORE REP for this very very very VERY underrepresented orientation? And I've thought of a few reasons to this, one of which being to avoid the same backlash that they got for Alastor being ace. Which, DID HAPPEN WHEN THE VOICE ACTOR AND SOMEONE ELSE ON THE SHOW CONFIRMED ALASTOR AS AROMANTIC BUT BACKTRACKED ON THE STATEMENT.
To which, fine. THAT'S on the fans (especially as no one would've complained if he was confirmed as homoromantic, which is a double standard VERY PRESENT in this fandom, but also many others quite honestly). But I can see another reason is to avoid others policing shippers about it.
Which, if that's the case, shit luck it's happening anyway.
To cower away from this orientation because of fans being upset says a lot, both about the fans and the creators. There is a whisper of "Alastor isn't allowed to be aromantic". That "being aro isn't allowed or appreciated".
We live in a world that at this point has a lot more lgbtq+ characters than ever before. At this point, there's just a lot of gay/lesbian and bi characters, and that's wonderful. But, there's barely a handful of aroace characters. And when they are, nobody wants to pay attention to that part of the character. So why can't the deer man be aromantic? I would imagine it would honestly make things a little better ship wise because ship wars wouldn't occur seeing as, well, there's no ship to be fought for. None of them could be canon.
So you might see where I'm leading into this, but I can only really think of one real reason Alastor being aromantic just "can't be confirmed" where as everyone else's orientations can be.
His popularity. Like, that's weird but walk with me here. Alastor is the most popular character in the fandom. There's honestly no denying it, he just is. And what do people do with the most popular character?
THEY SHIP THEM OFF IN A LOVEBOAT.
But wait, if he's aromantic, he can't be on a love boat. THIS IS BS-
And then... the outcry. And we HAVE seen this happen. I mentioned before, he was stated to be aromantic on two occasions by two people who work on the show, one of which is his voice actor (which I'll be fair, I personally don't think VAs always know the characters they play the best, that's the writers). But they had to backpedal because people DID complain. People WERE upset. So it's kind of shown just aromantism isn't really welcomed, at the very least not for a character like Alastor.
And that's the key: "Not for a character like Alastor". But if it were say, Niffty or Mimzy who are either overlooked or just not very popular, THEN it's probably more than okay for a character to be aromantic. Because no one wants to ship with them much, so they can be aromantic all they want.
AKA. The aro community is allowed the scraps but not the dinner.
At this point, you've probably noticed I switched gears from the creators to the fans because I DO think they could be a reason why Alastor "can't" be confirmed as Aromantic. I'll give credit, I'm pretty sure it's mainly on twitter and wouldn't be surprised if it was a "loud minority" thing going on, but the people have spoken. They vehemently cannot STAND the idea of Alastor being aromantic.
But I don't have a problem with these people quite honestly- I mean I kinda do, but my main issue is the lack of commitment when the other characters are allowed confirmed orientations. Why can't aromantic people get confirmed rep? Because "it'll ruin people's fun?" That's such a crappy reason because it's just saying being aro is bad on some level or isn't okay. Why can't the aromantic community get the dinner this ONE TIME? It's one character in a pool of many others that are canonically gay or bi, so why can't the aro community have this ONE popular character?
I'm not even asking for people to stop shipping him, I think that's perfectly FINE. It wouldn't change the canon. I'd appreciate more LOVE given to the aromantic identity (and I'm talking about the far end of it, so absolutely NO interest in romance as many have used aro Alastor but it still comes off as just normal shipping, but that's just me). There's such a double standard to the treatment of aromantic characters to the other characters in these shows (because Octavia and Mammon are in the same boat here), and the reasons given are so crappy that they sound more like off-hand excuses.
Again, I don't MIND people shipping Alastor, or Octavia, or Mammon who is randomly shipped with Adam the most. Let me repeat:
YOU. ARE. ALLOWED. TO. SHIP. THESE. CHARACTER.
But what I have a problem with is that these characters aren't allowed to be OFFICIALLY aromantic. How would it feel if this was a gay character? That they didn't want to confirm it but there's been indications with past statements and even in-universe stuff indicating so? I WANT Viv and her team to STICK with what route they were gonna go with.
And some might argue "what's so bad with nothing being confirmed?" Other than the fact every other character's orientations are allowed confirmation and Viv's crappy way of putting it in not confirming anything. There's, by all technicalities, nothing wrong.
However, if I may pose a counter, why is it fair for people to demand or ask for gay representation or confirmation but not aromantic? Because it's "not ruining anything"? If that's the case, I'm inclined to say that may be a bit aphobic. Because how is it that a character being aromantic can "ruin" the character or something, but a character being gay DOESN'T "ruin" the character. It's a double standard that I don't think most people realize or want to say because you don't want to be dissing on gay stuff.
But WAKE UP SHEEPLE. The gay stuff has PLENTY of things by this point. Whether through fan works or official media, it is growing and it is growing rapidly. And we should be HAPPY about that. But alternatively, Aromantic (and asexual) rep BARELY gets any attention in either fan works or official media. People would be UPSET if a ship like Angel Dust X Vaggie or Stolas X Verosika got into one of the top most popular ships. But Alastor? Nah, it's fine.
Again, while I don't mind the shipping itself, hopefully, you can understand how it might feel to see one of the most popular ships involve a character that goes against their orientation and it's YOUR orientation. It doesn't. Feel. Great.
And not everyone who ships Alastor even would LIKE him to end up with who they ship. Some people just like it staying in fanon. I have met SO MANY nice people who ship Alastor with characters that I personally don't really like him shipped with. But it's clear that I don't think THEY'D mind if he was confirmed aromantic because it doesn't change their life. They'll still keep shipping him because that's fun for them and that's FINE. People explore themselves through characters with confirmed orientations and they don't always line up with canon, and that's FINE. I don't think people should be policed on shipping with the deer man, they're just having fun. Would I appreciate a little more love for the aro identity? Sure (I mean just look at Alastor's ship weeks activeness vs. his aro week activeness), but if that's not how people have fun they shouldn't be forced to do stuff with it.
But Alastor being seemingly "not allowed" to be confirmed as aro has set a precedent that there's something wrong with being aromantic. And personally, it makes me feel a tad unwelcomed sometimes.
It's the precedents. Again, why is every other character's orientation allowed to be confirmed but Alastor's isn't? What is so wrong with him being aromantic? Hell, he might not even BE aromantic. But at least I'd KNOW instead of floundering around hoping upon a star for some aromantic representation.
It's okay to be gay but- WHOA HOLD YOUR HORSES THERE. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT A PAUSE IN THAT ARO BUSINESS YOU GOT THERE.
A character's worth is in how shippable they are. And if they're aromantic, they're not shippable. And unfortunately, there are just enough people to throw a hissy fit about it that Viv doesn't want to confirm it.
Because apparently being aromantic would "ruin" things.
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I do hope people understand where I'm coming from with this though#I get people wanting Alastor to have THEIR orientation it's not like I don't But can aro peeps maybe not get the scraps this one time?#Let's be real this ain't gonna be changing anything though :/#Like I don't care about it changing the fandom at this point (and I don't need it to)#But there's more than likely never gonna be confirmation on these characters being aromantic And that makes me sad :c#But I will have to live with it. I mean wouldn't really change the fandom space about it anyay so... They'll just be aromantic in my heart#My cold decrepit heart#But seriously we're begging for a dead serial killer to be rep for us from a quite honestly lukewarm show We're clearly scrapping for botto#rant#hazbin rant#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor the radio demon#octavia goetia#octavia helluva boss#helluva boss octavia#helluva octavia#helluva boss mammon#helluva mammon#mammon helluva boss#radioapple#radiodust#radiostatic#radiobelle#charlastor#radiorose#hellaverse
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The Nightfury
Author: bvidzsoo
Warnings: gore, violence, blood, smut, maiming, fighting, swearing
Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader
Word count: 22,2k
Summary: When Captain Kim died Hongjoong was only fifteen years old. He couldn't let his father's name go in vain, he took over the ship and became the next Captain Kim, better known as The Slayer. Everyone feared Hongjoong and his crew, Ateez. Everyone except you. You met in an Inn when you both were younger and tricked him into threatening an innocent man, and then you robbed him. You thought it was funny how such a powerful and feared man was so easy to play with, so you started your little game of sabotaging Hongjoong's affairs, unknowing that you were playing with fire. Would The Nightfury or The Slayer win once their swords clashed against each other? (Reader is called Lee Yuri in the following oneshots.)
A/N: Hii, I'm back!! But so is university, unfortunately, so I'll be slower with my updates. Also, this part is dark, alright, so take the warnings seriously! I didn't write anything very very detailed, but it's there, okay? Personally, I don't think San's part was too dark, I think it was more shocking and infuriating, however this one is just a different cup...also, if you haven't read Jongho's part, I highly recommend you do before reading this, because there are many call-backs to it. If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know. And enjoy now! Share your thoughts!
Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329 @icarusignite
Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part
4 years ago
From a young age, I had been encouraged to go out in the world, learn as many things as possible, be creative and discover myself: my likes and dislikes. From a young age, I knew I had a bright future in front of me, I knew I was destined to do incredible things, to be remembered forever. It’s the circumstances that came as a surprise to everyone, even myself, to how I achieved my current fame and the slightly atrocious things I had to do to get here. We didn’t do many bad things as my crew was still small, our ship barely fitting for twenty people, but we were growing, expanding. We were saving up for something bigger, better, and stronger. But for that, I needed money. A lot of it. Hanging around lowlifes and nobodies wasn’t going to solve my issues, so I carefully carved out a plan for myself. And the plan was perfect and simple. Find a target, quite easy as men had always been gullible, but they needed to be rich, now that was a harder task as these men tended to be slightly smarter than the rest. But with a bat of an eyelash, some sweet words and the right attitude you could get anything. And what I needed most were their riches. That turned out to be the easiest part, robbing them of their goods without them even noticing. And it was also fun and thrilling to watch their despair as they slowly realized they had nothing to fend off of anymore, promising to get it back in order to shower you with more expensive gifts, but I wouldn’t stick around for that long. No, I took what they had and then left, latching onto my next victim like a leech, taking away everything they had tucked away in their little chests filled with gold and jewelry. I didn’t care about them, I only cared about my own goal, and that was money. Lots of it. Thus, you probably would understand the predicament I found myself in currently, staring at the middle-aged man with bored eyes as he was trying to explain that his wife had caught onto him spending more money lately and started questioning him. I had zero interest in his sob story, whatever problems he was having with his wife was none of my business, he doomed himself the second he fell for my convincing act. He was the easiest to get and the dumbest out of all the men I have tricked so far, it made me almost feel bad for him.
“Listen, my love, I have to lay low for a little while because my wife is now more suspicious than ever.” He said in a hushed tone, looking around paranoid despite the loud chatter inside the Inn; nobody was paying attention to us.
“What about the emerald necklace I showed you last week?” I asked with a pout, sighing deeply. I watched as the man in front of me crumbled, a look of helplessness crossing his features.
“I know, I know, my love, but—”
“There would be no but’s if you loved me enough, Juyeon.” I cut him off, eyebrows furrowing in fake hurt, playing with my fingers in my lap. Juyeon, the man currently so desperate, let out a long breath of air and rubbed his forehead.
“I could—I—” He bit his lower lip, shaking his head, “I could try and buy it for you next week, but my wife—”
“It’s always your wife!” I allowed my voice to raise a little bit, pretending that I was fed up with him prioritizing his wife all the time. Juyeon tensed at the raise of my tone and glanced around, placing his hands on the table and slipping them towards me.
“No, no, it’s not like that, my love, you know it.” He tried to reason with me, taking my hands in his, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I gulped and looked away, pretending that I was trying not to cry, “You know I love you more than anything else in the four seas and four kingdoms, but—I—I still need to take care of her and the children, I can’t—I can’t abandon them.”
I huffed and whipped my head around, to look at him, “That’s not what you said a few weeks ago, Juyeon.”
He chuckled nervously and started rubbing my knuckles again, “Well, I thought about it more and—”
“So, you don’t love me.” I cut him off again, pulling my hands away from his hold, sniffing, “All of this was a lie. You don’t love me, Juyeon, you just don’t. You were trying to make a fool out of me and you succeeded!”
Juyeon chuckled nervously as I raised my voice, again, and quickly shook his head, “No, that’s not—”
“Really?!” I snapped, eyes filling with tears, “Because that’s not what it looks like right now! You promised we’d run away by the end of the month, you promised to buy me that emerald necklace, you promised to make me your lover! And now you’re saying you want nothing to do with me anymore?!”
Juyeon’s eyebrows furrowed as I let a few tears slip down my cheeks, sniffing now loudly, “No, my love. That is not what I’m saying! I love you and I will prove it to you—”
“Then run away with me.” I pressed, wiping away the tears, but more fake ones kept falling. I should’ve become an actress, that way my parents would’ve actually been proud of me.
“I can’t.” Juyeon muttered looking away, biting his lower lip again. It was my time to shine, I had to suppress my smirk from showing, as I stood up abruptly, the chair screeching loudly, making Juyeon look up at me alarmed.
“You don’t love me!” I said loudly, a few people around us glancing our way, “And you never did! All you did was use me, because you thought I must be dumb just because I’m young, right?! Who do you think you are, Lee Juyeon?! Shamefully charming me with your money and jewelry you gifted me—did you even think about your wife?! What if she were ever to see us—your children too!”
Juyeon was on his feet in an instant, eyes wide as people were now staring at us curiously, always up for a juicy story. Tears fell from my eyes and I wiped at them angrily, flinching back when he tried to touch me from across the table, “What—what are you talking about, Y/N?”
“Don’t act innocent right now!” I screamed, voice raw, Juyeon’s eyes even wider than before, “Stop lying to me and just admit all you did was use a poor girl like me for your sick and twisted fantasies!”
“That’s not what it is!” Juyeon suddenly screamed back, dark eyes narrowed now in anger and he stepped around the table, taking a hold of my arm. Despite his anger, his grip was still soft, careful not to hurt me. I could see the confusion in his eyes and I gulped as I averted my own, looking at the table, trying to tug my arm free, but he wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, I yelped and looked at him as I allowed a sob to escape my plump lips.
“You’re hurting me—” I whimpered, very fakely, but Juyeon reacted instantly. And so did someone else. As Juyeon’s grip softened even more, about to release me, a body larger than mine and Juyeon’s, appeared out of nowhere, pushing the middle-aged man backwards. Juyeon looked startled and so did I as my act slipped for a second as I looked to my left, staring at the newcomer. I was left speechless as I stared at his profile, jawline so sharp it could cut me in half.
“Mate, it’s time you stop.” His voice was firm and his gaze threatening as I couldn’t look away, suddenly captured by his presence, his aura. It was so strong, so sharp, and dominating. He exuded a call for respect, able to make anyone take a step back and oblige to his wishes. His black clothes were in perfect condition and he stood close enough for me to feel the sweet smell of his cologne, mixed with something salty. I gulped as I became conscious that I was staring, so I averted my eyes back on Juyeon, who looked like he didn’t know what to do. Even I forgot what I was supposed to do for a second.
“Please—” I whispered softly, eyes filled with tears as I looked back at the stranger, who’s eyes suddenly fell on me. I gulped, trying to mask the sudden attraction I was feeling towards him. His cat-like eyes rimmed with black eyeliner bore into mine sharply, analyzing my face for a second before he turned back towards Juyeon, who shook his head and tried to approach me again.
“It’s not what it looks like, I assure you—”
“You saying that makes it look like exactly that, mate.” The breathtaking stranger snapped, his voice low as his eyes narrowed at Juyeon, “I advise you leave when I’m still asking nicely.”
I gulped and wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt, Juyeon and I making eye contact briefly as he scoffed and grabbed his small bag, shaking his head.
“I can’t believe you did this to me.” He muttered to himself, casting a last glance my way, his eyes filled with pain as he shamefully left the Inn, more people glaring at him and giving me sympathetic glances. I pretended to shiver as the stranger’s eyes and focus was on me now, having to continue my lie still. This is not the outcome I expected, but perhaps I was about to score big tonight. I allowed my eyes to run over the stranger’s body, noting the various necklaces adorning his smooth neck, his skin tan and satiny. The black pearl on a shorter chain caught my attention and my fingers itched to wrap around it and snap it off his neck. My eyes traveled lower and I tried to count his rings too, wearing at least two on one finger, making me gulp. This man was rich. And he wasn’t afraid of showing it off. Before our gazes connected I noticed his blonde hair falling very carefully on his forehead, definitely styled like that, finding the longer strands in the back interesting. Not many dared going for a mullet, but this man looked spectacular with it.
“Are you alright?” His sudden change of demeanor, the softness in his gaze, the worry lacing his tone, took me off guard and I gaped at him for a few seconds, looking dumb.
“Oh—I’m—uhm—” I cleared my throat and shook my head as my cheeks turned pink, embarrassed, “I’m fine—uhm, thank you for—making him leave.”
“I’ve been watching you for a while now, things seemed tense, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you.” I felt my skin warm up at his words, finding it sweet. But how did I not notice somebody was watching us so closely? I was always good at singling people out, checking my surroundings and being alert of what was happening around me. Yet this man somehow managed to slip through unnoticed.
“Thank you,” I breathed out softly, finally gathering myself and continuing with my new plan, “He was—he’s not a bad man, you know…or so I thought.”
The stranger’s lips pulled into a line and he nodded understandingly, motioning with his hand for us to sit down, “Yeah, people can be quite deceiving—”
“You’re calling me dumb too?” I sniffed, lips quivering and the man quickly shook his head, eyes widening in panic.
“No, that’s really not what I’m trying to say!” He rushed out the words, looking rather cute, “I’m just saying that there’s evil people and they pray on innocent, unassuming people—”
“Like myself.” I finished the sentence for him and the man sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His earrings were rather pretty as I had just noticed them, he had quite a few of those too.
“Sorry, that came off rather rude—”
“Can I buy you something?” I cut the man off, wiping my cheeks free of tears and shaking my head, acting as if I was trying to compose myself, “You did save me from that asshole after all.”
“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need anything—”
“But that’s unfair now…” I stared at him expectantly, waiting for a name.
“Hongjoong, Kim Hongjoong.” He extended his hand and I shook it firmly, whispering his name to myself, watching as his eyes fell on my lips for a second too long.
“Lee Y/N, nice to meet you.” I plastered on a small smile on my face, not releasing Hongjoong’s hand just yet. It was a trick which often worked on men, prolonged physical contact, a gaze lingering for a little too long…they always worked. And it was working right now as Hongjoong cleared his throat, looking a little flustered, as I finally released his hand and looked away shyly, letting my strawberry blonde hair fall against my face. I could see from the corner of my eye as Hongjoong’s eyes racked over my body, taking in my outfit and appearance, his eyes narrowing slightly. I certainly wasn’t dressed like an ordinary girl, but nobody ever truly figured out that I was a pirate. The clues were there, but they weren’t exactly obvious, one would think it was a preference to dress like this. And it really was. My black skirt, quite uneven at the ends, almost reached my ankles and my dark brown boots made of leather were rather worn at this point. The black cloth wrapped around my body was slightly peeking out from underneath the white off-shoulders breezy shirt I was wearing, a brown corset keeping everything in place. I had my favorite necklaces around my neck, always wearing them, but I dialed down on the bracelets I would normally wear. Rings weren’t something I liked wearing as I felt they restricted my grip when it came to holding a sword or dagger, however, they happened to come in quite handy when having to punch someone, the accessory leaving a rather nasty bruise on your opponent. The silence stretched on as Hongjoong placed his hands on the table, fingers intertwined and I couldn’t help but let my eyes fall on them. Hongjoong noticed and raised an eyebrow cheekily.
“You’re wearing quite a few rings…” I muttered, actually feeling embarrassed for being caught staring. My reaction made Hongjoong chuckle as he looked down at his own fingers, playing with the biggest ring on his forefinger. Something was carved on it, a letter.
“Personal preference, I guess.” Hongjoong said with a shrug and I hummed, noticing the waitress walking our way. I raised my hand shyly, avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes as he watched me curiously.
“How can I help you?” The waitress asked bored until she noticed Hongjoong sitting with me, her posture instantly straightening. I could understand, he was a very attractive man and he looked very upkept, something rare when it came to men. Most of them very dirty, smelly pigs. Even some of the rich ones.
“A bottle of wine would suffice for now.” I said, voice rather tight when this woman didn’t stop looking at Hongjoong, who seemed to be enjoying the attention. He smirked at her and cleared his throat, slightly tilting his head forward as if he was greeting her. My jaw clenched at the exchange and I had to hold back my glare as this woman was stealing the attention off of me, ruining my carefully designed plan. I had to be Hongjoong’s center of attention tonight, not anyone else.
“And some booze.” Hongjoong added with a wink as the waitress was just about to leave and I licked my dry lips, trying to keep a sneer off my face. This was ridiculous. When the woman was finally away, Hongjoong’s dark eyes fell on me, looking quite pleased with himself. It almost made me scoff but I quickly slipped back into character and looked away shyly, nervously playing with my fingers in my lap.
“You have that affect on all women?” I found myself asking quietly, actually curious. He could get anyone he wanted, and he definitely used that to his advantage, I wanted a confirmation in order to know how to approach him.
Hongjoong chuckled, almost sounding embarrassed, as he rubbed his chin, “You noticed?”
“It wasn’t hard to.” My response was too quick, too snappy, Hongjoong noticed too, so I cleared my throat and softened my voice again, “I’m just observant.”
“That’s good in a world like ours,” Hongjoong hummed, searching for eye contact with his intense gaze, “and yes, I tend to get that reaction when it comes to women.”
I chuckled softly, tucking a long strand of hair behind my ear, “It’s not very surprising since you’re a handsome man.”
A smirk appeared on Hongjoong lips as he leaned closer towards me, looking at me playfully, “Do you think I’m handsome?”
Before I could answer him, the waitress was back with our drinks, her eyes on Hongjoong only. I ignored her and took the tall glass for my wine roughly, making her glance at me surprised, another smirk appearing on Hongjoong’s lips. It was becoming irritating, the fact that he knew himself so well, the fact that he was using it on others.
“Thank you.” Hongjoong thanked the waitress and I didn’t miss the brush of his pinky finger against the woman’s hand and perhaps my grip on the wine bottle was a little too tight. If she wouldn’t leave in two seconds a dagger would be adorning the inside of her neck. But as I poured some wine for myself, she was finally gone and I could relax again, ignoring the amused look Hongjoong sent my way as he took a big sip of his booze. It was a vile thing; I did not like it. Wine was raffinate and came in various tastes, besides it was good for your health too unlike that strong, repulsive thing Hongjoong was drinking.
“You don’t like booze?” He asked with a chuckle and I fixed my expression, shaking my head as I took a sip of my own red wine, “Your grimace told me all about it.”
I chuckled shyly and looked down, finding it hard to act different in front of this man. My true nature wanted to come through badly, sensing he was a strong person, challenging my own ego.
“What brings you here tonight, Kim Hongjoong?” I asked with a smile, breaking the silence which seemed to fall upon us, his sharp eyes watching me carefully. I felt like I was performing an important task and a figure of authority was here to evaluate me, criticize me for the work I had done. And if I slipped, if I did the smallest mistake, he would notice. Hongjoong would know it was all an act, my fingers itching to steal all of that pricey jewelry adorning his body. If I wouldn’t get that emerald necklace from Juyeon anymore, I sure needed to get something else and the provider was sitting right in front of me.
“Just needed a distraction, you know.” He answered casually, taking a sip of his booze before he placed the glass back down, “It gets lonely when you’re a traveler sometimes. You know, you become stiff and I’m still young. I want to live a little.”
His story didn’t sound very authentic, the way he delivered it seemed very rehearsed and the way he averted his gaze told me he was lying. But I hummed and nodded understandingly, looking at my glass. The way he said traveler…didn’t sit right with me. What was he?
“Do you work, Hongjoong?” I asked curiously, watching the way he oh so slightly stiffened. There it was, I caught onto his lie.
“When I find something worth my time, yeah.” It was an ambiguous answer, “I get bored easily and I’m good at many things, so, there’s no reason for me to settle on one thing, you know?”
“Must be nice to have that luxury.” I chuckled and took a sip of my wine, our gazes connecting for a second before I looked away.
“What’s your story, Y/N?” Hongjoong asked as he leaned over the table, elbows resting on it, his hands pushed towards me as he held the glass, playing with it. I fixed my expression and smiled sadly, looking him in the eyes, having been waiting for this moment. I had just the perfect story for him.
“Well,” I shrugged and hesitated for a second, “my grandparents live here and I moved in with them when I was ten, so, there’s that. All my life I wished to study and travel the world, become a cartographer but my grandparents didn’t have the financial support for that nor the will to encourage my dream. They are traditional, you know, a woman belongs in the kitchen, inside the house and her only job should be to give birth to many kids. I didn’t want that, so I ran away, but quickly realized I had nothing so I had to return—”
I cleared my throat and blinked the tears away, watching as Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed at my pathetic and sob, fake, story, “It’s embarrassing, really, but I started mingling with the wrong people. I just want to find love, you know. True love. And it’s very hard because I’m past that age and no man wants me anymore…so, I—I suffice with whatever I find, you know. I thought, I really thought this time that Juyeon was the love of my life, but he lied to me. I didn’t even know he was married until tonight. I’m so ashamed. What if his wife found out? What if the people find out? What will be made of me—”
I hiccupped as a stray tear ran down my cheek and suddenly, big and warm palms wrapped around my hands, Hongjoong’s gaze melting into mine, “Hey, calm down.”
His voice had softened a big amount, he was talking quietly, reassuringly, “You’re not too old and nobody will say anything about you. Don’t let anyone get to you, Y/N, you’re your own master and you’re capable of anything you put your mind to, alright? And you’re too pretty to die alone, so, stop worrying about that.”
“You think I’m pretty?” I asked with a small smile as I suddenly flipped my palms and intertwined my fingers with Hongjoong’s, his eyes falling on them. He gulped and shook his head with a smirk, looking back up in my eyes.
“Yeah, I think you’re very pretty.” The flush on my cheeks wasn’t from the wine, nor was it fake, I actually blushed. I couldn’t help but smile wider at him, my stomach doing weird flips as his calloused fingers suddenly started rubbing my knuckles slowly, his eyes narrowing just slightly. He was too handsome and he knew too damn well what he was doing, it was dangerous. I could feel the wine seeping inside my system already, the room around us slightly hazy. If I wasn’t careful enough I’d become drunk, and then, my plan wouldn’t be carried out, only a mistake would be done. And I couldn’t let that happen. Not tonight.
So, I averted my eyes and pressed my finger against the biggest ring he owned, with the letter A engraved in it, I could see it now, “This one’s really pretty.”
Hongjoong raised an eyebrow as I looked at him through my eyelashes and he gulped, lightly pulling his hands away, the warmth disappear with him. He gave me a glance before he slipped his ring off, pushing it towards me on the surface of the table. My eyes widened as I looked at the ring then at him, not quite knowing what to do next.
“You can take it for the night.” He muttered lowly, his eyes slightly darkening as I bit my lower lip, trying to fight my imagination from running wild because of the implication in his words. I took the ring and slipped it onto my middle finger, a little big for me, but its weight a reminder to never lose it. It seemed important as I inspected it, feeling something engraved in the inside of it too, making a mental note to look at that later.
As time passed, more drinks settled on our table than empty bottles were taken away, our systems infusing with the alcohol we kept downing as if it were water. Sometime ago, my head started spinning, the room a bit hazy if I tried looking around, making me realize I have drunk more than enough, walking on the thin line of being tipsy or drunk. But I dialed down on the strong drinks, opted for water for half an hour now, slightly feeling better. The line of boundaries seemed to have blurred a long time ago too as Hongjoong was basically all over me, laughing loudly at almost everything I said as he wouldn’t stop drinking his booze, which I had secretly swapped with water ten minutes ago. He had yet to notice, too caught up in the story he tried telling for the second time. He was hilarious and as the alcohol loosened him up, he stopped being so intimidating, his intense gaze lightening, cat-like eyes smiling at me each time we locked eyes. I tried to stop myself, but it was futile, as Hongjoong’s hand would grip my thigh quite frequently, holding onto it before he would gesture with his hands again, and I couldn’t help but heat up, stomach flipping at each unintentional touch. Or perhaps it was intentional…it probably was as Hongjoong’s head dipped lower, lips grazing against the shell of my ear, making me freeze.
“Please don’t tell me you’re actually interested in whatever bullshit story I’ve been telling you for the past hour.” His words took me off guard and my mind instantly went to the worst-case scenario. He figured out that I was a pirate and I planned on robbing him, but when suddenly his hand was on my thigh again, a lot higher than before, and squeezing firmly, I couldn’t find my words nor any cohering thoughts, “Because I know you’ve switched my booze with water, Y/N, and quite frankly I’m bored of sitting here and entertaining you like this.”
All I could do was gulp and stare at the wall, trying not to shudder when his finger started rubbing circles into my thigh, “Then—then how else—could you entertain me?”
A beat of silence passed between us as I pulled my head back, our gazes connecting as Hongjoong leaned incredibly close, his lips ghosting over mine, breath fanning my face, “Fucking you sounds a lot better than sitting here and pretending we’re interested in what the other one has to say.”
I couldn’t help but let out a breath in disbelief, body lightly shaking as I felt like I was electrocuted, feeling hot all over and mind reeling. This really wasn’t going according to my plan, all I had to do was steal his shit once he got wasted, but his words awakened the want I’ve been trying to repress ever since my eyes fell on him. All softness was gone from his deep eyes, staring at me like he wanted to devour me right then and there, in front of everyone. I bit my lip at the thought and Hongjoong’s eyes fell on them, his nose twitching as he licked his own lips, yet didn’t move an inch. It felt like torture, being so close, yet he felt so far away. I probably should’ve refused him and walked out of that Inn, but I didn’t. My body didn’t want me to leave, my brain was screaming at me to let him have his way with me. I was tipsy, yet I felt so hyperaware of everything around me, of his grip burning my skin, his eyes undressing me and his lips so close they were almost touching.
“What are you waiting for?” I managed to whisper out as Hongjoong smirked once my words got to his brain, his hand disappearing like lightning from my thigh, chair pushed back as he was up on his feet. I couldn’t even blink as a grip on my forearm pulled me up and I was led away from the bar area, rushed towards the stairs. We haven’t paid for our drinks yet, but it seemed like nobody really cared as we disappeared up the stairs, Hongjoong almost running, tugging me along. It was a little bit funny and I couldn’t help but giggle as Hongjoong tried opening all the doors until he finally found an empty room, throwing me a cheeky smile as he walked us inside, door slamming shut quickly. We didn’t have a key, but we didn’t need one. It didn’t seem like we’d take too long either way as Hongjoong started unbuttoning his black vest, stare pinning me against my spot. I mirrored him and started undoing the lace of my corset, making Hongjoong’s eyes wander down my torso, gulping as I got rid of the piece of clothing, letting it fall next to me on the floor. Hongjoong’s vest was abandoned and he undid the buttons of his white shirt messily, hissing when his fingers wouldn’t work as he wished, making me chuckle. I didn’t bother unbuttoning my shirt, just raised it overhead, making Hongjoong bite his lip as he took my body in. I gripped the skirt on both sides of my hips before pushing it down, remaining in nothing but my underwear, stockings, and the black cloth wrapped around my torso providing warmth and restricting my breasts from getting in my way. I preferred it that way, men took you more seriously when your breasts weren’t hanging in their faces. Hongjoong was about to undo the belt on his pants when his eyes fell on me once again and he sucked in a harsh breath, abandoning his initial actions. He stalked towards me, eyes never leaving mine, until he was all up in my face, warmth radiating off his body. I almost stepped back, intimidated by his proximity, but I stood my ground and stared him down, waiting for him to make the first step, but he didn’t. He was teasing me as he smirked, eyes running over my face, chuckling before I felt his hands on my waist, gripping me, pulling me flushed against his firm body. I gasped as his warmth enveloped mine, his naked torso gaining my attention as I looked down, taking in the muscles of his tanned skin, his chest very well worked. Our eyes connected once again and no more precious seconds were waisted as our lips crashed against each other, not soft at all as they moved against each other vigorously, trying to settle for a satisfying pace, but nothing was good enough as we devoured each other hungrily, whining into the kiss when Hongjoong’s fingers dug into my skin, pressing against my hip bones. My hands explored his naked torso, dragging and pressing against his burning skin, trying to feel each muscle as Hongjoong walked me backwards until my back hit the wall, caging me against it with his strong arms.
My hands explored his back and I scratched down his scapula’s with my nails, earning a groan from him as he bit my lower lip, pulling back breathlessly, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I wasted no more time and started undoing the belt of his pants, Hongjoong’s lips finding my neck as he started pressing slow, sensual, kisses down to my collarbones, where he sucked on the skin harshly, earning a hiss from me as I pushed his head slightly back, glaring at him. I didn’t want any type of marks on my body left by him, or anyone else, but it seemed like Hongjoong was rather amused as he grabbed the back of my head and licked my lips, taunting me, my glare deepening as I tugged harshly against his belt, our bodies colliding again. That seemed to wipe off the amused smirk of his face as I slowly, teasingly, undid the lace of his pants, not quite pushing it off his hips. Hongjoong watched me as I smirked this time and sneaked my hand inside his pants, lightly brushing against his member, surprised that he wore no underwear. It was daring. Hongjoong groaned as my fingers lightly grazed the tip and he pressed his lips against mine again as I took a hold of his member, slowly pumping it. His kiss was messy, our teeth clanking together, as Hongjoong moved his hips, thrusting into my hand wrapped around him, whining when I squeezed down on it and fastened the pace. He pressed a short kiss after kiss against my lips, muttering profanities against my lips as his eyebrows furrowed, bucking up faster as I settled on a fast pace, his whimpers getting throaty and until he started whispering for me to stop, biting my earlobe when I didn’t listen to him.
“Stop, I’m so close—” He snapped against my ear, grabbing my throat harshly, making my breath hitch as his sounds and ministrations got to me, body feeling hot as I slowed the pace of my hand, Hongjoong freezing, his member twitching. He was panting as he pulled back to look at me, my lips parted in anticipation and suddenly I felt his thumb moving against my neck, until it was pressing against my chin, then my lower lip, parting my lips more for him. I couldn’t breathe as we held eye contact, his thumb finally slipping inside my mouth, my lips latching around it, ever so slowly starting to suck on it. His pupils were blown wide, lips parted in pleasure before his jaw clenched, eyes never leaving mine as I swirled my tongue around his thumb, his hips bucking into my hand once again.
“Fuck.” He spat before grabbing my wrist with his other hand, pulling it out of his pants, giving me a warning glare about touching him again as he started pushing his own pants down, my lips still wrapped around his thumb, sucking and licking it. I couldn’t help but grin as he moaned quietly and pulled his thumb out of my mouth, pants pooling around his ankles. Standing naked in front of me, the man was gorgeous. His tan skin glistened with light sweat, body flushed and pupils blown wide as he found the top of my stockings before he yanked them down, pulling my underwear off too in the process. I gasped as the coldness hit the lower half of my body and his thigh was pressed between my legs, making me gulp as his lips found my neck again. He started licking at the skin, eliciting a sigh as his thigh flexed against me and with a hand firmly placed against my hips, he rolled them forward, the friction making my breathing stutter for a second. My nerves felt on fire as I allowed Hongjoong to set the pace, one which was incredibly slow, making the hairs on my arms stand as it felt torturous. I needed more, something faster, but Hongjoong hissed when I tried to move on my own, making me whine loudly as he chuckled against the skin of my neck. I didn’t even notice it when he bit down on my skin, too focused on the burning of my lower region, clenching around nothing as I was starting to grow relentless, desperate. His teeth pierced my skin and I moaned as Hongjoong finally quickened the pace, juices coating his muscular thigh as I threw my head back, the friction finally enough. But it didn’t last for long as his thigh was gone and lips too, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him confused, only to feel his strong hands gripping my thighs before I was hoisted up, legs wrapping around his hips firmly as his member pocked at my entrance.
“Please.” I whispered as I looked at Hongjoong, running my fingers through his hair until I gripped the end tightly, yanking our heads close together. Hongjoong bit my lower lip as I felt his tip pushing against my entrance and I gasped as he finally pushed inside, his length stretching my walls like no one’s before. My back was flushed against the wall as Hongjoong leaned into me, setting a pace before he was even fully in, not quite fast nor slow, just right at the moment. I tried to stay silent with each one of his strong thrusts, but it was rather difficult as he was sharp, starting to quicken the pace. My head was thrown back against the wall, lips parted as quiet moans started escaping, Hongjoong’s lips brushing my Adam’s apple as he was panting, body crushing mine as if our closeness wasn’t enough already. My senses were heightened and it felt like pure bliss as he finally set a faster pace, the pitch of my voice raising as I felt Hongjoong’s eyes on my face, his lips red and plump from all the kissing and biting. My fingers tightened in his hair more, making him gasp lightly as suddenly my chin was gripped harshly, yanking my head down. His lips crashed against mine and his tongue was in my mouth, licking at my teeth, exploring my mouth like his life depended on it. I started meeting his thrusts, but it still wasn’t enough, I needed more as my release was building up, but not quite there yet. Hongjoong whined into my mouth as I clenched around him and I pulled back, gripping his cheeks as we gazed into each other’s eyes.
“I need more.” I whispered breathless and Hongjoong nodded, suddenly pushing all the way in, his movements ceasing. It felt torturous as my body burned, yearning for more, needing to release soon all the built-up tension. He let out the quietest breath when I clenched around him again, lightly trying to move my hips, but his bigger body had me mobilized between himself and the wall. This was not my idea of more, and before I could complain about it, he held me firmly against himself and suddenly pulled me off the wall, turning and walking towards the bed. I held onto him tightly, arms around his neck as I started leaving kisses behind his ear, making his member twitch inside me, grinning against his skin. Hongjoong groaned when he felt it and for a second I was falling backwards, back placed carefully against a soft surface. The bedsheets were cold and I shivered as I looked up at Hongjoong, who was looking down at me with a different glint in his eyes. It looked like adoration, almost, and it made me gulp nervously. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything towards him, he was simply my prey and I was playing my part in the game he started by approaching me when I was still with Juyeon. He still didn’t move as he leaned down, and suddenly it felt too intimate as his lips pressed softly against mine, the kiss slow like never before, lips moving against mine in a tender manner, heating up the skin of my face. It made me feel guilty all of a sudden, how unassuming he was; I’ve never ever felt bad before for one of my victims. As he went to pull back, I gripped his cheeks and pulled him back down, placing a newfound passion into my kiss, tongue slipping into his mouth as he slowly started moving his hips again, the movement drawn out, sensual. It elicited a moan instantly from my lips, and Hongjoong took my left hand and intertwined our fingers as he pressed it down next to my head. My other hand tangled in the long strands of his hair as his free one found my hips and suddenly, his pace became vicious, restless as he started pounding into me, toes curling and head thrown back as moan after moan slipped from my lips. My legs hooked around his hips and I met his thrusts, his finger painfully pushing into the ring he gave me, a reminder that I was still wearing it. Hongjoong’s moans mixed with mine as I started clenching around him, so so close to finishing, and when his thumb brushed against my clit I was gone for, eyes rolling back as I came undone, the sensations overwhelming as he rode out my high with me before pulling out and with a few strokes to his dick finishing on my stomach.
I was still panting, coming down from the high as I stared at the ceiling, body flushed and Hongjoong’s hand in mine screaming at me that I couldn’t let my feelings get to me right now. Not tonight. Suddenly, his eyes found mine and he smiled as he leaned down, pressing a kiss against my forehead, making my eyebrows furrow as he finally got off me, my body shivering at the sudden coldness wrapping around me. I watched him as he looked around in the room before finding a towel and walking back to me, cleaning me up and muttering a small sorry, as if pulling out wasn’t smarter than finishing inside of me. But I remained silent and allowed him to pull me up in a sitting position as we stared down each other, seemingly not knowing what to do next. The drunken haze was somewhat gone from his eyes, signaling that he was perhaps just tipsy now, if not sober. Robbing him right now would be too difficult, so I opted for the last resort I had on me as a backup plan. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards me as I crawled back, laying down, making him lay down next to me. Hongjoong smiled and brushed the hair out of my eyes as we lay facing each other, smiling. My stomach dropped a little bit, but I ignored the sensation and focused on how much I was blushing as Hongjoong caressed my cheek and giggled as if I said something funny, making me raise my eyebrows at him but he just shook his head.
“Where are you from?” He asked quietly as he played with my hair and I sighed, not wanting to give away too much, but finding the moment so intimate that all of my walls were down, something which rarely happened.
“The North.” I whispered and looked away, not quite wanting to see his reaction. The North Kingdom was known for being rather ruthless and its people cold and barbaric. And it was all true. We really were that way. Our rules were strict and demanded to be followed, if anyone dared disobey them they would certainly face a painful death. We didn’t beat around the bush and were straight-up people. Many didn’t like the lifestyle, however, and found refuge in the neighboring Kingdoms, yet I found peace in the stern rules, in the familiar routine. If everything was so chaotic like in the rest of the Kingdoms, especially the South, how could people easily fall asleep? How would they not worry about what they’d do tomorrow? Nothing was certain and I couldn’t live with that. Sometimes I’d get homesick and we’d return home, but we weren’t exactly welcomed anymore. Our land didn’t treat the defectors kindly, once word got around you’d get shone away in best case scenario. And my parents knew what I was, a pirate. They would never welcome me back inside their house, their only child was a menace to society, a shame on the Lee family’s name. I wouldn’t be surprised if they told everyone I had died in the war we got deflected to so many years ago when I was just a child. The southern islands of our Kingdom always fought back against our harsh rules and demanded lesser sentences, but the Queen wasn’t having it. Therefore a war broke out between the mainland and southern islands which lasted for three years, our Queen giving in to her people, and giving them partially the freedom they wished for.
“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Hongjoong’s quiet voice brought me back from my thoughts, eyebrows raising slightly as I hadn’t heard what he said previously, “Being from the North, I mean. I have a friend who’s the nicest and most caring sailor I have ever known, and he’s strong too. Stereotypes exist, but it doesn’t mean you are just like them.”
I gulped and found myself slightly smiling at Hongjoong, his comforting words surprising. He didn’t seem like the type who cared much about others feelings up until now.
“We feel deeply, but we don’t like showing it to others…we see it as a burden, you know?” I found myself explaining it to Hongjoong and he hummed, caressing my cheek again with a fond smile.
“I know, my friend said the same thing.” He chuckled and I buried my head in the pillow, trying to hide my big smile, ignoring my brain screaming at me that I wasn’t following the plan at all. Sometimes it felt nice letting the heart get what it wanted.
“Do you happen to be obsessed with mermaids as well?” I pulled my head away from the pillow and looked at Hongjoong with raised eyebrows as I shook my head, “Ah, thought everyone was obsessed with it from your little Kingdom—”
“The Sun Set Kingdom is the smallest.” I narrowed my eyes at Hongjoong and he chuckled, amused by how triggered I got. Yes, the north was small but the island surrounding it made it larger than the Sun Set Kingdom, so it was unfair we got called the smallest kingdom, “And yes, my people are quite the believers when it comes to folklore, but I guess it depends on your upbringing too.” And my parents believed in nothing divine, calling it a waste of time as no Gods could help, only you could help yourself.
“I’m from the Sun Rise Kingdom.” Hongjoong muttered with a sigh, turning onto his back, hands behind his head, “I guess we’re both far away from home.”
I hummed and turned on my back too, eyes surveying the dark room, finding some water and glasses on a dresser. I cleared my throat and sat up, the weight of Hongjoong’s ring on my finger quite distracting as I walked towards the dresser. I could feel Hongjoong’s eyes on me as I poured water for the both of us, slipping some white powder from one of my necklaces into the left glass. I waited for it to dissolve before I turned around, sipping from my own glass as I walked towards Hongjoong. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and accepted the glass of water with gratitude.
“May I ask why are you wearing that?” He asked as he gulped down his water, eyes on the black cloth wrapped tightly around my body. I smiled and sat down, taking his empty glass and placing it on the floor.
“Well, I guess it’s for hiding my feminine figure?” I shrugged, finishing my glass of water, “Some of the jobs I do aren’t very female friendly and I can pass as a boy if I wear the right clothing with this, you know?”
“Nobody as pretty as you would pass as a boy.” Hongjoong chuckled and I rolled my eyes embarrassed.
“Trust me, I can camouflage myself very well.”
“And what is this mystery job you have?” I pursed my lips and watched as his blinks got longer, eyelids heavier and heavier. The amount of powder I slipped in his water would knock him out any minute now.
I chuckled and watched as Hongjoong tried lifting his arms, futile, “I’m a con-artist, let’s say.”
His eyes found mine but he didn’t say anything as his breathing slowed, eyelids falling shut, lips parting as his body went numb. I smiled sadly at him and got off the bed, dressing myself back up, looking like nothing even happened. I walked to Hongjoong’s side and adjusted him in a comfortable position before pulling the blanket over him, tracing his lips with my finger. My eyes fell on the ring I was still wearing and I took it off, bringing it up to my face. I turned it and tried to see what was carved on the inside, fingers running over it. The letter A and then…teez? Ateez? I paused for a second, looking down at the sleeping man. Kim Hongjoong. The ring with the letter A carved on it. Ateez carved inside of it. My eyes widened as I almost dropped the ring, looking at Hongjoong with slight fear pulsing through my veins. Had I just slept with The Slayer? The captain of the Ateez pirate crew? Oh, this was a turn of events even in my wildest dreams I wouldn’t have expected to happen. I looked around the room, hurrying to grab Hongjoong’s pants in search of gold or money. He did have a few coins on him, a lot less than I was expecting. I hissed as I looked back at the man and at the ring in my hand before I walked over and placed it on top of the pillow where I was supposed to be sleeping. But as I was about to leave, the black pearl necklace around his pretty neck caught my attention and I didn’t stop myself from taking what I wanted. I carefully took it off him and placed it around my own neck, staring down at it in awe. I’ve always wanted a pearl necklace, but they were too expensive and too hard to find, especially the black ones, they were rare. Without another glance at the man sleeping in the bed, I walked out the door, leaving our little escapade behind me, never to mention it to anyone.
But things were never easy, especially for women as nobody took them seriously in a highly male dominated field. Being a pirate was hard, but being a woman pirate was even harder. Nobody wanted to do business with you, nobody wanted to strike deals with you and nobody would sell you weapons. So, forced to fend for ourselves in different ways, we started robbing other ships in the middle of the night, creating a fearful reputation for ourselves while acquiring provision and munition for ourselves. Our crew and ship grew with the passing of time and as we started establishing ourselves on the market, they nicknamed us The Nightfury. Sailors and pirates alike feared us once they learned about us as we’d attack them in the middle of the sea, leaving them with nothing, assuring them a painful death if they didn’t get to land in three days. And they usually didn’t. We tried not to be harsh, but we were forced by the men around us. They thought they could do anything to us without facing repercussions, and so that had to be proven wrong by us. And despite becoming quite successful in the past four years, there was still a thorn in our side. Ateez. The most feared pirate crew of the four seas and four kingdoms. No matter where we went, they had been there just before us, wreaking havoc and leaving nothing behind, nothing for us to find. And that just wouldn’t do anymore. I’ve had enough of always getting their sloppy seconds, so I devised a new plan. One which was working marvelously. Thanks to my extraordinary acting talent, I managed to charm a few of their investors and merchants into giving us their goods for a slightly lower price and still taxing Ateez with their old price while selling them second-made goods, sometimes even fake ones. Irene, my second in hand, had warned me that it wouldn’t be long until the notorious pirate crew caught on to our scams, but I opted not to listen to her. I had fooled Kim Hongjoong once, who would say I couldn’t do it twice? And so I did, so blatantly out in the open, right under his nose. He was always so close, yet never close enough to catch us. He even sent assassins our way, sent his most loyal dog Choi San, but all the damage he managed to do was stab a very humanlike looking pillow and blanket laying in a bed, on the highest floor of the Inn I supposedly resided in. Joy and I sipped on our drinks as we watched him from the window from across the Inn, laughing when he looked around in confusion, realizing he had been fooled. Choi San never made mistakes, yet here he was, outsmarted by two playful women, who played these eight fools as if they were their own puppets. Joy and I clanked our glasses together before downing our wine, turning back to the real deal we had to focus on, the two rich men tied up with tons of money falling out of their pockets. Ah, we had quite the productive night that evening. But what I failed to realize, despite Irene’s frequent warning, was that once someone made Kim Hongjoong furious, they would end up facing his wrath. And when that happened, it would hurt. A lot. But I felt comfortable, too safe, unknowing that he was gaining advantage on me minute by minute. But I started this dangerous game, and the inciter never backed down.
Present time
There was something different about the Sun Rise Kingdom. The air itself felt warmer, the wind never too harsh, the soil softer than anywhere else. You would never smell anything foul, not even at the markets, and the people were always smiling. Always so nice, and always so trusting. I had to say, they were the most gullible and unfortunately, they were our easiest prey. I loved the Sun Rise Kingdom, not because of how easy we had it here, but because everything was so inviting, so accepting. In the past four years our crew grew significantly big and people recognized us. Our faces were plastered everywhere in the Sun Set Kingdom on wanted posters, constables constantly trying to catch us. They seemed to hate us the most out of all the Kingdoms and, perhaps, I couldn’t blame them as once we accidentally almost burned down the only inhibited island they happen to have. It was an accident, of course, we aren’t cruel like that, but they wouldn’t understand that no matter how many times we’d try explaining it to them. After realizing that it was futile making peace with them, we soon started giving up on that Kingdom, closing our deals with the merchants, keeping only our most important investors. This came in quite handy for Ateez, of course, as they got richer and richer, taking away one of our most important ammunition resource’s. But my crew was very talented and cunning, we managed to smuggle a few guns still from them, a spy who owed her life to me always lurking in the shadows, helping us out whenever we needed something important from over there.
We had arrived to the Sun Rise Kingdom a week ago and treated it as a little vacation as all of us had been tired from restlessly sailing the seas, almost losing our lives when a storm hit us while we were traveling through the Raging Sea. It was a bad idea sailing through it, but we’ve done it before and were lucky enough to avoid any storms, our navigator, Wendy, rather talented at her job. Everything was going smoothly so far, no run ins with the constables, nobody bothered us for the most part, a merchant even offered a good deal for us upon hearing we were in town, and the men in this bustling town were rather good looking, pockets and pouches heavy with coins. It truly felt like we were on a resort, finally enjoying our lives for a little bit, young and hungry for more. But our safe heaven didn’t last for long as two days ago Irene came barging inside my room as I was reading through a letter Siwon, an older smuggler from the Sun Set Kingdom, had sent a week ago. He found some ancient looking jewelry and he wanted to make sure they were authentic before selling them, offering to give us half of the payment if I helped him out. Greed was a bad thing, but I wouldn’t turn down such a nice offer.
The door to my room was slammed open, crashing into the wall harshly as I jumped up from my seat with a wildly beating heart, “They are here!”
I watched my second-in-command, Irene, pant as her long black hair fell in her eyes, “Who are here?”
I watched her with a confused expression as I placed a palm over my racing heart, giving her a small glare for scaring the living daylight out of me. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me like I was crazy.
“Ateez!” Her normally quiet voice turned shrill as it rose a few octaves, her normally composed nature completely disappearing. Ateez. My jaw clenched as I leaned against my desk, huffing.
“Of course they are here,” I muttered, as Irene stepped inside my room and hastily closed the door behind her, “I can never rest for too long, can I?”
“This is bad.” Irene said gravelly as she started pacing around my room, “You know this is bad, Y/N, we must leave. Right now. If they find out where we reside, you know they will come after us—”
“Will you relax for a second?!” I snapped, Irene’s anxiety rubbing off on me as I threw her a glare, sitting back down in my chair, “We’re supposed to be leaving in three days if we want to get to the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks.”
“What?” Irene’s eyebrows furrowed as she neared me, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, “Sun Set Kingdom—what are you talking about?”
I smiled at her confusion, her eyebrows scrunching up, her intimidating face looking rather cute as I grabbed the letter from Siwon and handed it to her. She took it and read it quickly, sighing as she looked back at me. I could read the exhaustion in her eyes, almost pleading to stay put for a little longer. We were supposed to go up North for a while, visit her family as they hadn’t given up on their daughter like mine have. Irene was homesick, and so was I, but this…this would be big. Siwon giving us half of the payment meant we could lay low for at least half a year, find a nice spot somewhere and just live quietly, rest. All of us wanted that, after all, the crew has worked hard to get to where we were now.
“Please,” Irene’s voice lowered, the letter clutched tightly between her fingers, “do we really need to go? It’s Siwon, you know he’s not trustworthy. He fucked us over last time too, Y/N, shouldn’t you think this through first?”
I shook my head and took the letter from her, turning to face my desk as I had readied to write back to Siwon before Irene came barging inside my room, “We could be free for half a year, Irene, if we do this. Jewels are our forte and he knows that, that’s why he’s asking for our help. I promise to head up North straight afterwards—”
“And sail through the Icy Sea?” Irene tsked and gave me a look, “No.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at her, “What do you mean, no?”
“You heard me right,” Her voice turned serious and her expression hardened. I knew what was coming, “I’m your second-in-command and I refuse to go to the Sun Set Kingdom. I refuse to sail through the Icy Sea.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing that she meant none of that, “Go find yourself a different crew then.”
I turned to grab my pen as I was smacked hard across the back of my head, making me let out a loud yelp, whipping my head around to glare at Irene, “You bitch—”
“Shut up,” Irene snapped, leaning down to be eye level with me, “I don’t know why I keep putting up with you, but for once in your fucking life, listen to me. Ateez is in the same town with us, Y/N, and Hongjoong wants you dead. We have to leave.”
I just smiled at Irene and placed a hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly, “And how many times did he already try to kill me? Don’t worry, we’re safe—I’m safe. Tell the other girls we’re leaving in three days to meet with Siwon. And then we head to the North, through the Barren Sea.”
Irene sighed loudly as she shook her head at me, but I knew she was thankful for at least avoiding the Icy Sea. She hated that place; it took her brother’s life when they were only children. We’d have to sail a lot more if we wanted to go through the Barren Sea, but I’d do anything for Irene to make her feel safe. She was my second-in-command after all, I did have to respect her requests and opinions. And as a dear friend to her, I didn’t want to antagonize her too much if I could. I smiled at her brightly, and she rolled her eyes as she straightened and pulled her hand away from mine, headed for the door, throwing me a small glare before she was out the room, making me chuckle to myself as I picked up my pen, ready to write back to Siwon.
But there was a reason why Irene was my second-in-command. I was brazen and most of times didn’t think things through, meanwhile she was calculated and very smart, taking every possible outcome into consideration before proceeding with her actions. This was a prime example as to why I should listen to her more often, but one doesn’t actually learn until something very bad happens. And that very bad thing happened just the night before our departure from the lively town we resided in for the past week. Everyone was ready, getting their last peaceful sleep before we’d set off, my evening a little bit more eventful as I had found a man down at the bar and decided to charm him, because why not? We’d be setting off and wouldn’t be around men for a long time. It was nothing too impressive, but he got the job done and I even managed to steal his pricey looking wristwatch. Ever since sleeping with Hongjoong, nobody seemed to be as good as him. It’s like he altered something inside of me so that I’d never find true pleasure and satisfaction in other men. It happened four years ago, yet I could still recall that night as if it had happened just yesterday. It was infuriating and frustrating to have someone always in the back of your mind, especially when that someone hated you and wanted you dead. I couldn’t lie, I felt quite resentful towards him as well, our feud throughout the years making me wish I could slice his neck with a dagger. But we never saw each other since that night, his dirty work carried out by someone else for him, however, I didn’t bother doing the same, knowing very well it was a lot more painful if his assets were the ones dissipating right in front of his eyes. People would call me greedy, but he wasn’t so different.
It hadn’t been long since I had settled into bed, getting comfortable as I let out a long sigh, the silky surface of the blanket soft against my skin. This bed was a lot more comfortable than the one I had on the ship and it made me ponder for a second whether I should just steal the sheets for a nicer sleep on the ship. The thought almost made me laugh as I snuggled my head against the puffy pillow, strawberry blonde hair falling over my face. My body was soft, mind slowly shutting down as I allowed myself to relax in the safety of my room. But that didn’t last for long as something hard crashed against the window and I jumped up in a sitting position, heart hammering in my chest. My eyes fell on the huge rock which sat on the wooden floor of my room and before I could really think about it, a dark head appeared outside my window. My body tensed up and I threw the covers off my body as the person climbed through the window, boots crunching against the broken glass on the floor. I grabbed the dagger off my nightstand and looked at the figure menacingly, never one to back down from a fight. It was dark, I couldn’t exactly see their face, not that it mattered much who it was. But for a second, as our gazes connected, my breath faltered and the silence around us was too loud. I could recognize those eyes anywhere. He took one step further inside the room, features more visible, clearer to see, easier to recognize. A face, which was more mature now, more defined, chiseled. My stomach dropped as I watched Hongjoong step further inside the room, looking around nonchalantly. His face was expressionless yet his eyes were harsh, and I gulped as my grip tightened on my dagger. He’s never came in person before. Always sent someone else. Irene was right, we should’ve left three days ago. I was backing towards the door when Hongjoong’s cat-like eyes settled on me again, a sinister smirk spreading onto his lips, eyes widening slightly. In the darkness of the room, he looked utterly scary. My heart was beating too fast and I found myself breathing quickly, realizing I was losing my composure. He looked stronger; his body so much more muscular, wider. Fuck.
“Lee Y/N.” He spat my name out with venom lacing his voice and I froze for a second, surprised by it. Did he really hate me this much? That wasn’t too good.
“Kim Hongjoong.” I was nonchalant, played it off. I refused to show him that I was shaken up, limbs slightly trembling from the stress. Hongjoong’s face suddenly lost all expression as he stared at me blankly, taking me in for the first time since he’s stepped inside the room. Suddenly, I felt too exposed, vulnerable, as his eyes found mine again. I was wearing nothing but my undergarment and a white shirt which was too big for my frame, the top unbuttoned, falling in a deep V-neck.
It happened fast, I almost didn’t react, as Hongjoong lurched towards me and I jumped back, eyes widening when I noticed the big knife in his hand. Oh, he came here prepared and determined. I gulped as his head slowly turned towards me; hand extended forward as he eyed my dagger. I was outpowered, he didn’t even have to disarm me for me to know. The hatred in his eyes, his ripe muscles, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins could bring my dismay tonight. But I didn’t let those thoughts get to me. If Choi San couldn’t kill me, Kim Hongjoong wouldn’t either. So, instead of waiting for him to attack again, I sprung towards him, dagger raised high as I went to stab him. He blocked the attack with his knife, instantly slicing, my skin burning where he had cut me. I gasped, taken aback, but before I could react he was moving his hand again, forcing me to defend myself as the knife cut my thigh, making me growl as I snapped my head up to glare at him. Hongjoong seemed unphased as he wiped the blood off his knife onto his pants, looking at me with a smug smirk, advancing towards me once again. I panicked for a second and sliced through the air, halting his movements, to my luck, giving me enough momentum to knock the knife out of his hand as I raised my leg, kicking his wrist. Hongjoong didn’t wince, didn’t make a sound. He just looked at his knife before taking off towards me again, making me curse to myself. He was unstoppable, he really cared about one thing only, and that was to kill me. I jabbed towards him, but he just blocked the attack and soon I found my wrist twisted, a cry leaving my lips, as my dagger clattered onto the ground. Hongjoong’s other hand raised but I quickly slapped it away and tried to free my wrist, but I couldn’t. His grip was painfully strong, making me grit my teeth as I tried punching him with my free hand, but he ducked down as if it was nothing. He was angering me. He was letting me use my energy so he’d attack when I was tired, so I stopped, and stared him down. He twisted a little more of my wrist and I almost hissed, but I bit my lip instead and refused to show any weakness. Hongjoong didn’t seem to like that as he swiftly grabbed my neck with his other hand and squeezed hard, making my eyes widen as I clawed at his hand, the air leaving my lungs quickly as I was unprepared for such an attack. And then he slammed me into the wall, knocking out all the air from my lungs, making me choke up as I tried to push him off desperately, feeling helpless as he just watched me blankly.
My lungs started to burn and I hated myself as I looked at him with a pleading look, trying to pull his hand off, but it was futile. And just as I started seeing dark spots around me, his grip loosened up and the air rushed inside my lungs furiously, making me cough as I tried to suck in as much air as possible. He had gotten incredibly strong; it was embarrassing how weak I felt right now. I was good at hand-to-hand combat, I could even fight with a sword, I have killed men twice his size, yet here I was, on the bring of passing out from how hard he was squeezing me, his grip on my wrist still there. I tried to open my mouth and say something, but my mouth felt too dry and I knew my voice would’ve been scratchy, so I just stared at him. I tensed more when suddenly he leaned incredibly close to my face, sneering.
“You’re quite helpless for someone who parades themselves around for being unbeatable.” He mocked me and I glared at him, my sneer mirroring his as I went to push his head away, but he acted faster, yanking me forward into himself. He was just as tense as I was, body firm, as he turned me around roughly, squeezing my body against his. His solid chest pressed against my back. I didn’t know what was happening, but I tried to pull away, even bit his arm, but he had no reaction as he walked us towards the vanity, bending down on the way for a second. I saw what he picked up and gulped, it was my dagger. He stopped us in front of the big mirror and I hated the way I looked. Cheeks red from fighting so hard and getting chocked, the shirt wrinkled and almost falling off my shoulder, exposing me to Hongjoong. I watched as Hongjoong looked down at my body before our gazes connected through the mirror, my chest rising and falling quickly as he removed the hair from my neck with the hand which held my dagger. He seemed eerily calm for someone who looked so murderous right now. I tried moving away again, but he positioned his arm across my chest and pushed hard against it, holding my chin firmly, exposing my neck. I wanted to ask what he was doing as I felt fear creep up my body, but I didn’t, my pride in the way.
“You should’ve just left after you fucked me, Y/N,” His breath hitting my neck sent goosebumps down my body, “You should’ve just went on with your pathetic life without ruining someone else’s, Y/N. And most importantly—you should’ve never tried to destroy Ateez.”
I scoffed and opened my mouth to jab back at him, when the dagger was suddenly painfully close to my neck, my heart hammering in my chest, “Wait—what are you—”
But the blade pushing against my skin made me almost cry out, thankfully I managed to gulp it down, as suddenly he dragged it down in a straight line. As a reflex I grabbed his arm holding me mobilized against himself, and squeezed it as hard as I could as pain shoot down from my neck to my torso, to my chest. It hurt so much as my skin split open, it felt hot and pulsing, as he dragged it down similarly again, in a different spot, close to the previous slash. I watched through the mirror as blood trickled down my neck, the smell so nauseating that all I could think about was that he was cutting so close to the artery. If he pressed down just a little bit more, I would die. I would be gone. I bit my lower lip harshly as he dragged the dagger across the already split open skin, the area numb as my body was shaking from the excruciating pain and the sight of the blood and the smell of it, from the struggle to bite down my screams and tears. I felt lightheaded as my hold slipped down to his wrist when he brought the dagger close to my skin once again, shaking my head furiously ‘no’, chest starting to shake from the cries which tried to escape through my lips. I was hyperventilating as the wounds were pulsing, hot and cold at the same time, flinching as Hongjoong blew on it as we made eye contact through the mirror. He had a deranged look on his face and he had the audacity to cackle as he leaned down, lips pressing against my ear, making me let out a quiet shudder in fear.
“You wanted what was mine?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t realize he was speaking, “Good, because from this moment on, you’re my property, Y/N. Mine. Every time you will look in the mirror, you will remember who you dared challenge, who you robbed, and turned people against. Kim Hongjoong. Captain of Ateez. The Slayer.”
I whimpered and tried to pull my head away as his lips pressed against the wound, making the burn worse, the blood still trickling down my neck, past my collarbones. I watched through the mirror as he licked my blood off his lips, body still shaking yet feeling numb at the same time. I was so cold. I wanted him to go away.
“You and your crew are mine from now on, one more slip up, Y/N, and I’ll kill Irene right in front of your eyes,” Irene, no, I felt the tears in my eyes, “and then I’ll kill each one of your crew members.”
I shook my head and suddenly he pushed me forward as I felt into the vanity, his body and grip gone from mine as I collapsed down onto the floor, body shaken by the sobs which threatened to spill out. I heard movement behind me, and when I looked back, nobody was in the room with me. Hongjoong was gone. Finally, the tears fell down my cheeks and I started crying loudly, body shaking as I forced myself to stand up, needing to see Irene. Did he hurt her? Was she alright? Did they do anything to her? And the others—Irene’s door was thrown wide open the second I was out of my room, eyes wide as she took in my form. She rushed up to me and quickly led me inside her own room, searching my body frantically for any fatal wounds, but found none. She was talking to me, asking me question, but all I could do was cry and shake my head. I couldn’t even hear her; I didn’t understand her. She realized I needed comfort and quickly hugged me, shushing me and muttering some reassuring words, eyes fixed on the wound on my neck as her own eyes filled with tears, but she remained strong for me, telling me that it would be alright. But no, it wouldn’t be alright. I wanted Hongjoong dead.
I have never felt so intensely for someone. And they weren’t positive feelings. Once Irene managed to calm me down and clean up my wounds, which was harder than it appeared as I kept hissing and pulling my neck away from her delicate touch, she allowed me to sleep in her bed for the night, too on edge to be left alone. Irene knew the second she saw me what had happened. I didn’t have to tell her that it was Hongjoong, she knew from the look on my face. I felt partially ashamed and totally stupid for having not listened to her and for almost dying by the hands of my sworn enemy. I thought I would be fine, figuring that Hongjoong just wanted to maim me for his own pleasure, but when I looked in the mirror, the world around me silenced for a few seconds. My eyes froze on the open wound on my neck, red and raw from still being so fresh. It wasn’t small at all, screaming in your face once you looked at me, and suddenly I realized my breathing was uneven as Irene watched me with pity in her eyes, averting her gaze once my wild one fell on her. There was the letter ‘H’ carved inside my skin, forever, screaming at whoever dared look at me. I didn’t realize what I was doing until everything was thrown off my vanity, the porcelain little chests breaking, my precious jewelry falling all over the floor. The scream ripping through my throat felt painful and I could hear several footsteps rushing our way as I grabbed the same dagger Hongjoong used and raised it to my neck, making Irene yell out as she was by my side in an instant, gripping my wrist so hard my circulation was certainly cut off.
“What’s happening—” Yeri cut her own question off as her eyes settled on the scene and ran up to us, gripping my arm and forcing it away with Irene’s help, my body shaking as all I could do was stare at the wound on my neck, which would scar, Hongjoong’s initial on my body, in my body, until the day I die, until the day my flesh rots away.
“Y/N!” I could hear Yeri calling out my name again and again, until my cheeks were gripped roughly and my head was turned away from the mirror of the vanity, “Get it together!”
She was the youngest in our crew, yet the strongest, always merciless, always the first to pull the trigger, stab the enemy. She was my master-at-arms, closest to me after Irene.
Yeri’s hard eyes bore into mine and gradually I could finally breathe again, heartbeat slowing down as I gripped her arms, slowly nodding to let her know I was fine. I was fine. Nothing could hurt me. Nobody could hurt me. I was fine. Cautiously, Yeri released me and I allowed her arms to drop down next to her body as I let go of her as well, looking towards the doorway, where the rest of my closest friends and crew stood, eyes wide at the unfolding scene in front of them. That is until Joy’s eyes fell on the ugly wound on my neck, and she gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth.
“We’re leaving right now.” I spoke up, voice hard as I composed myself, pulling my hair to the front, covering the wound until Irene helped me place gauze on it, “We need to be at the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks, but before that—a pirate crew needs to learn their lesson.”
And they did learn it as in five days we found them sailing towards the South Kingdom, not too far away from their shore. We’d been on the hunt ever since we left the Sun Rise Kingdom, determined to catch a whiff of their route, Wendy having not slept for three days now as she tried to find the route Ateez was using. It was laughable how quickly and easily we found them, for having the most feared reputation, they weren’t very good at being undetected. It was late in the night when I finally spotted their ship through my binoculars and a smirk crept up onto my lips as I called out to Irene, her body tensing when she saw me. She was against getting revenge on them, but I wasn’t about to let them get away so easily. If Hongjoong could threaten me in the middle of the night, in the safety of my chamber’s, I would do the same thing. We weren’t here to kill them; we were here to warn them. Pull something like that again Hongjoong, and I will gut Seonghwa in front of your two pretty eyes before I kill off the rest of your precious companions.
“Tell Seulgi to load the cannons.” I commanded to Irene as she shook her head in disappointment before taking off towards the previously mentioned woman, “Wendy! You’ll get two days off after tonight.”
The short-haired woman grinned at me as she pulled on the sail of the main mast, the wind taking us straight towards Hongjoong’s ship. The ship was quiet, a few sailors asleep on deck as we neared them without disrupting the waters, ready at any moment to attack. As something big and shiny caught my attention, I looked through the binoculars, gasping once my eyes fell on a fish-like creature. Mermaids. They were real? I stood frozen to my spot, gears turning in my head, watching the creature as it floated numbly in its cage, probably asleep…or dead. But why would it be dead? Certainly it must cost more alive than dead? And then it clicked, and I smirked as I called over Irene with a wave of my hand, handing the binoculars to her and angling her head to see what I was looking at just seconds ago. She gasped as she looked at me taken aback, before looking back into the binoculars.
“They are real…” She whispered to herself, all the stories in our folklore true after all, “What will they do with her?”
I smirked and took the shotgun Irene was holding, checking if it was fully loaded, “Probably sell her somewhere in the South and make enough money for a lifetime, we can’t let them have that, can we?”
Irene’s eyes darkened as she shook her head, the same hatred I felt towards Ateez finally seeping into her own bloodstream, “Do you want everyone dead, Captain?”
I chuckled, raising my left arm high up in the air, “No, I just want them close to sinking.” And as I brought my arm down, the first cannon went off, sending a fireball surging through the air, hitting the side of Ateez’ ship in a way so perfect I couldn’t have angled it better myself. Eyes focusing on the cage the mermaid was held in, I calculated approximately where I had to shoot in order to break her glass cage, gunshots and fireballs flying overhead as the enemy ship came to life, men shouting and running around deck, trying to counter our attacks. My only focus was on pulling the trigger at the right time, and I did, then two more times, checking in the binoculars to see if my aim was correct. The mermaid seemed to sprung to life as she swirled around in her glass cage, slamming against it. Hongjoong could never stop me, I wouldn’t allow it. He can maim me as much as he wants, he can carve his whole name on my body, and I still won’t stop, still won’t back down. Not when he thinks he can have everything, not when he takes everything. And as I lowered my binoculars, I could see him standing tall on the quarterdeck, his own binocular lowering at the same time as mine. Despite the distance between our ships, I could feel his burning stare, I could feel his hatred, I could hear his curses, I could feel the burning want to kill me. Yet all I could do was smirk to myself and bow dramatically, knowing very well he was watching, mouthing to myself for him to enjoy the show. Nobody was let off easy after attacking Lee Y/N, Captain of Red Velvet, The Nightfury.
The Heavens were on our side as we arrived safe and sound in the Sun Set Kingdom. Our journey took two weeks, as expected, the crew exhausted as we finally docked down close to the uninhabited island of the small Kingdom, the waves rocking the ship violently. The sky had significantly darkened as the wind picked up, Irene looking off in the distance with a frown on her face. The little island was right in front of us, not even a five-minute boat ride away. I tied my long hair in a low ponytail and checked if I had all my daggers on me, my sword sitting snugly against my waist, the new leather pants I was wearing rather restricting at the moment.
“Are you sure you want to go alone?” Irene’s voice was laced with worry as she took her binoculars out of her pouch and looked off in the distance. The little island had a small cave, it was Siwon and I’s meeting point. It wasn’t too deep, but it was enough to conceal the real world from seeing the business’ that went down, far from the eyes of constables and the Night watch of the mainland.
“Yes,” I hummed as I glanced at Irene, “However, a weird feeling came over me last night—”
“I told you this doesn’t feel right!” Irene snapped and I sighed, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“I know what I’m doing, Irene, and if anything goes wrong—”
“Nothing will go wrong!” Irene cut me off again, eyes narrowed at me.
“If anything goes wrong,” I repeated my sentence, glaring lightly at her, “then you know what to do. You take this crew away from here to safety and you become the new Captain.”
Irene gulped, gripping my arm hard, pulling me in closer, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, you must take care of yourself and if anything happens—you know how to let us know.”
I nodded and offered her a soft smile as Irene pushed her forehead against mine as a way of greeting. The people from the North might not have been the verbally affectionate kind, but we always showed our care physically. Acts of service and physical closeness paid a rather important role in our lives. Forehead touching was a way of greeting between family and close friends. We pulled away at the same time and Irene’s eyes hardened as she released me, my own face slipping into a mask of coldness, as I turned towards my crew, who were waiting excitedly for me to take off towards the island. Towards our freedom.
“When I return, we will be rich,” I spoke up, voice loud and hard, “When I return, we won’t have to live the pirate life for much longer. When I return…we shall find our paradise!”
The crew cheered loudly as they raised their swords in the air, eyes glinting hungrily for the promised future, for the future we’ve all been working hard towards, craving desperately. Greed was a vicious thing, but our drive to finally be free was even stronger. I nodded confidently as I threw Irene a last glance before taking off towards the little boat floating in the water, the waves rocking it rather harshly. The wind didn’t relent, picking up even more as my arms strained as I climbed down the rope to reach the boat. My feet landed with a loud thumb and I tumbled a bit as a big wave crashed into the boat, wetting my new shoes and leather pants. I groaned and took the paddles into my hands as I sat down, paddling away from the safety of my ship, of my crew, towards the deserted island with the singular cave sitting on the surface of it. It wasn’t the first time I came here, but something felt off right now. I wasn’t lying to Irene; I did mean what I said. I got a strange feeling last night while I tried falling asleep, a voice in my head asking whether this was truly safe? Whether Siwon was telling the truth? Did I trust him this time? What guarantee did I have that he wasn’t trying to fuck me over once again? But the greed and drive towards freedom was stronger than the voices in my head, stronger than the gut feeling, which was getting stronger and stronger by the minute, trying to turn me back towards my ship, telling me to leave as fast as possible. There were no other ships in the distance, just six other little boats as I arrived to the shore of the island, meaning that Siwon and his men were already here. They didn’t need a ship, as I glanced back towards my own, I could see the mainland from here, blurry because of the distance, but there. It would only take half a day to paddle out here by boat. I secured my own, so that the waves wouldn’t wash it away, and hopped out of it, the sea cold against my boots. The wind picked at my hair, the stray strands falling messily and getting into my eyes as I hurried towards the cave, hissing when the water became ankle deep. This wasn’t how I imagined I would ruin my new clothing, but I guess I’d do anything to be free.
The wind was loud on the inside of the cave as it blew at the entrance, and I glanced back as the waves crashed against the rocks. I had to jump over a few more as I walked further inside, the sunlight slowly disappearing as the cave was lit up by torches placed on the wall. Another sign that Siwon was already here. I walked cautiously, hand on the handle of my dagger as I glanced behind me, my gut feeling worsening by second. But I couldn’t turn back, not now. Not when I was so close. My feet padded against the sand quietly and suddenly, as I took a turn to the left, voices resounded around me, echoing from the wide, open chamber of the cave I came face to face with. Twenty men at least were sitting around, some on the rocks, some on the sand as they conversed, looking rather casual. Siwon was sharpening his knives as he sat back against a wooden chair, slumped in his seat. He must’ve felt my gaze on him because he looked up, body tensing and whistling loudly. All the other men suddenly stood up straight, their eyes fixed on me as I walked further inside, looking around warily. The air was tense and my gut was screaming at me to just turn around and leave, I still could do it. I could still change my mind; it wasn’t too late. But Siwon’s face suddenly morphed into a smile, too friendly, too casual.
“Welcome, Miss Lee!” He called out loudly, arms spread wide open, “We’ve been excitedly waiting for you arrival.”
I chuckled to myself, stopping a respectable distance away from him and his men, who watched me as if I were their prey, “Yeah, I can tell.”
My voice dripped with sarcasm, but Siwon didn’t comment on it as he just continued smiling, it was too fake, “I can tell you were eager to help me out, I’ve never gotten an answer back from you so fast before.”
I forced a smile on my face as I noticed two guys approaching me from my peripheral, “You made it sound urgent in your letter, Siwon, so I came as fast as I could.”
“And did you come alone?” He raised an eyebrow as he watched me with curious eyes. I was aware of the men behind me, but they have stopped advancing towards me.
“Here? Yeah,” I nodded, narrowing my eyes, “That’s how our deal was, but I didn’t come by myself to the island, Siwon.”
“Left your crew on the sea?” He was prodding, tone too casual for someone who looked visibly tense.
“No, they are by the entrance of the cave,” I lied through my teeth, smiling slyly at him, “So don’t even think about pulling any tricks on me.”
Siwon hummed deep in thought as he looked at the man behind me, and I glanced their way, my face hard and eyes glaring. They didn’t seem phased as they stood like guard dogs, eyeing Siwon every once in a while, waiting for an order. Pathetic.
“Where are the jewels?” I raised my eyebrows as I walked towards the man, arms crossed in front of my chest. The men closest to Siwon gripped the handle of their swords, but I ignored them. There was a muffled sound coming from the left, further inside the cave, a little bit away from the mass of men gathered around me. Four men seemed to be crowding around something, obscuring my view from the thing in question. Perhaps that’s where the jewel was.
“Oh, you know,” Siwon scratched the back of his head, looking innocently at me, “I forgot to bring it—”
“What?!” My voice was hard as I snapped, eyes turning into slits as I glared at the cocky man standing a few feet away from me. The torch lit chamber casted a sinister light over his smile, but it didn’t scare me. I risked my life coming here, by being so close to the Sun Set Kingdom. If anyone saw our ship and reported to the constables, they could be on their way already, ready to kill my crew. The crew I currently wasn’t with and what’s a Captain good for if she has no crew?
“I have so many customers, Y/N, you know how business works,” Siwon spoke up casually, folding his hands in front of his legs as he leaned against the wooden chair’s back casually, “Sometimes you hit it big, sometimes you get zero profit, which sucks. A lot. You know I love you the most, especially when your payment is the highest, but lately—you’ve been quite disappointing.”
“I only pay for the quality of what I get from you, Siwon.” I countered, scoffing, “And your merch has been quite shit, lately. Don’t expect me to throw coins at you, when you don’t deserve said amount.”
Siwon grinned, and shook his head, “This is where our problem starts, Miss Lee. I don’t like it when nasty pirates tell me what’s the worth of my own products, thinking they know better, when they don’t.”
I chuckled sarcastically, raising my eyebrows at him, “You think us nasty pirates don’t know the real worth of your products? How many items you think we see on a daily basis which are precious and which are scum? I can differentiate a real golden coin from a fake one just by one glance. Tell me what your real problem with me is and we can work it out—”
“No.” Siwon’s voice got harsh, eyes widening at me in annoyance, “We can’t work it out. Not anymore. I’ve had enough of your games, of you looking down on me.”
“Siwon—”
“Shut up!” Siwon’s deep voice boomed in the cave, echoing around us as I flinched, taken aback. He’s never acted like this before, I’ve always thought he was a dumb imbecile, trying to sell off any goods he found at the local market, sometimes getting his hands on good stuff, but most of times on nothing really significant. He raised his hand and waved over the other four men who were away from the group and I tensed as I gripped the handle of my sword, noticing Siwon’s men mirroring my stance.
“You have no idea how delightful it is to have you in one place,” Siwon chuckled, the sound echoing around us, “To finally have the two of you in one place, without the presence of your crew. Defenseless and up to my mercy.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the four men, noticing that they were dragging someone towards our group. Who was the two of us? Did Siwon set up a trap? For me and for—my eyes widened as I lost my composure for one second as the person in question was forced to his knees a few feet away from me. Head lulled forward and a bruise already forming on his jaw, his hair was blonder since the last time I saw him. Which was two weeks ago. Two weeks which weren’t enough for me to process my feelings, for my hatred to settle down a bit. The burning flame inside my chest was ignited back to life as Hongjoong raised his head, lazily opening his eyes, gaze falling on me. His eyes widened before they darkened instantly, his eyes mirroring the hatred I felt towards him. His face scrunched up in disgust as he sneered at me, tugging on the grip the two men had on him, as if trying to reach me. Siwon was long forgotten as I gripped the handle of my sword with a deadly grip, on the verge of pulling it out of its holder and slicing Hongjoong’s head off. All I could see was red. All I could feel was the blood dripping down my neck, my collarbones. All I could feel was the sudden itching of the scar on my neck, of the mark he made on me, maiming me and claiming me as his.
“You!” I spat out, taking off towards him, but I didn’t get too close to him as someone grabbed me by my forearm, halting me in my steps. I snapped my head around and growled at them, starting to pull my arm away, when Siwon’s laughter echoed in the chamber. My head whipped towards him at the same time Hongjoong’s and I could feel my heartbeat pick up.
“How hilarious,” Siwon managed to say between laughs, “I don’t even have to dirty my hands with your blood. By the looks of it, you’ll kill each other before my men can get to you.”
“Try me, you bitch!” Hongjoong barked at Siwon, violently trying to tug himself free, but the two men just harshly forced him back onto his feet. I glanced at Hongjoong before looking back at Siwon, his words registering in my brain. This was a trap, of course. Irene was right. My gut feeling was right. Siwon wanted us both dead. I glanced back at Hongjoong, our eyes connecting as he seemed to have the same realization I just had, eyes glossing over in thought. I wasn’t going to die tonight. I didn’t care if Hongjoong did, but one thing was certain, I couldn’t kill all twenty-four men by myself. I gulped as I glanced back at Siwon then at Hongjoong, who was biting his lower lip, already looking at me. Our faces were unreadable and his eyes narrowed at me as he raised one eyebrow. I hated this. I hated that I had to work together with the man I hated the most in order if I wanted to live another day. But I really had no choice. So, very subtly, I nodded my head as I slightly pulled my sword up, letting Hongjoong know that I understood. That I agreed. That I was ready to fight alongside him to save ourselves.
Siwon suddenly tsked and both Hongjoong and I looked at him as he opened his mouth, “Kill them.” And it all happened at once. I drew my sword out of its holder fully and stepped on the man’s toes who was holding me harshly as he released me, allowing me to finish him off as my sword went through his middle. Hongjoong knocked his elbows backwards harshly, unbalancing the two men holding him, allowing him the momentum to jump up and kick backwards as he freed himself, drawing out two swords from their holders before slicing his attackers necks, the two dropping dead on the cold sand of the cave. I whirled around as two men came running towards me, swords drawn, attacking fearlessly and furiously as they threw daggers my way. I dodged their attack and ducked down before stabbing one through the stomach, barely avoiding the other one as he aimed for my neck, making me hiss. Our gazes connected, but for a split second he glanced behind me, unconsciously letting me know that someone was there, about to attack, and so I whirled around and stopped their attack midair, the clanking of our swords loud as all you could hear were grunts and metal against metal, Hongjoong growling every few seconds as he slayed everyone who dared go his way. The man was rather talented with his sword and he sliced my arm, making me hiss as I jumped back just in time, preventing my arm from getting cut off, but quickly jumped forward and jabbed him in the ribs, making the man cry out. More cries came from behind me, but I couldn’t glance back as men ran my way, my sole focus on killing everyone who tried to kill me. I wanted to get my hands on Siwon, to kill him, to watch him in the eyes as he let out his last breath. My sword was up in the air, pressing against the man’s sword I was currently fighting, when a dangerously close metal clanking resounded in my ears. Hongjoong was panting as he blocked the attacker who tried to attack me from behind, our gazes connecting for a second as I noted my arms were becoming sore from the relentless attacks and defending. My focus was back on the man attacking me as Hongjoong cut the other man’s head off, the sight too much for even myself. There was a reason he earned his Slayer reputation. He was ruthless in battle, and fearless. Nobody dared challenge him, not even the best fighters. These men had nothing on him as he kept killing and killing them, only five standing on their feet as I killed another one, panting as sweat dripped down my forehead, my neck. I took in deep breaths as I felt Hongjoong’s back collide into mine, the remaining five men circling us, walking around us tauntingly, sneering and throwing in jabs. They looked at us like we were scared animals covering in a cage, but we were far from that. We’d live, and they’d die. Hongjoong had two swords, so I pulled my dagger out of my boot as I smirked at the man from across me, powerfully throwing it towards him, his eyes widening as it entered through his Adam’s Apple, blood spurting out and down his body as he fell backwards, choking and gripping the dagger in a panicked manner. Hongjoong chuckled as he saw, then lurched forward and sliced the man’s neck, three more remaining as they started looking uneasy. They knew their imminent fate and I decided to make it fast as I dropped my sword and pulled out my second dagger, running towards the one to my left and kicking his wrist harshly when he raised his arm to slash at me with his sword, whirling around as my dagger went through his clothes and flesh, straight to his heart. He gasped as I pulled out the dagger, watching him drop to the ground before Hongjoong killed the man charging at me, slicing the last one’s head off.
We were panting as we looked around, checking for a sign of life in the wreck we’ve left in our wake, my wrists numb as I dropped my dagger, doubling over in order to breathe in more air, lungs screaming in exhaustion. The stench of blood was horrible and I gagged, bringing my palm to my nose, trying to conceal the smell. Hongjoong shuffled next to me and I suddenly stiffened, standing up straight to look at him.
“He’s not here,” He muttered, more to himself, eyes searching the chamber of the cavern, “Siwon, that motherfucker—when I find him, he’ll be dead in no second.”
I scoffed, picking up my dagger as I walked over to the dead guy I killed with my other one, “I can’t believe he managed to fool the both of us.”
Hongjoong hummed but it went quiet as I pulled the dagger out from the dead man’s Adam’s Apple, realizing I had my back turned to the enemy. The real enemy. I whirled around, daggers ready if I had to pounce on him, but Hongjoong hadn’t approached me yet. His sword was ready, eyes narrowed as he watched me. We didn’t say anything as we stared each other down, expressions hardened as neither one of us moved. My hatred returned full force and I spat next to me, feeling that fire burn my whole body as I hurried towards him, dagger pressed against his throat in no time. Hongjoong smirked at me as he raised his eyebrows, pressing his sword against my leg as a warning. It cut into my leather pants, and if he ruined them more, I would kill him.
“You’re acting rather aggressive with your savior, Y/N—”
“I could’ve killed them on my own too!” I snapped, breathing hard as Hongjoong remained cocky, rather relaxed for someone who had a dagger pressed against their neck.
“No, you couldn’t have, and we both know it.” His answer was smug and I growled as I pushed the dagger more into his skin, drawing blood. Hongjoong’s jaw clenched and a harsh grip on my waist suddenly made my breathing falter for a second.
“You’re playing with fire, again.” His words were quiet but tone authoritative as if he was talking to one of his crew members. It made my blood boil and I was seething, hating the look in his eyes. Hating the upper hand he still seemed to have on me, and when his eyes fell on my neck, on my scar, I felt like screaming. I felt like slashing that dagger across his neck, watching the blood spurt out onto my face, the warmth bringing goosebumps onto my skin as it trailed down my face. But I didn’t. I lessened the pressure from his neck, but didn’t lower my dagger just yet.
“You expect me to be nice after you maimed me?!” My voice rose a few octaves as his eyes finally connected with mine, looking quite pleased with himself.
“I didn’t maim you, I marked you—”
“You maimed me!” I screamed, hating that I was letting my emotions come through as my face contorted into disgust. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, scared that I’d catch a glimpse of the letter carved into my skin permanently.
“I marked you,” Hongjoong hissed, grip tightening on my waist, “You should have thought twice before messing with me, Y/N, I hope you learned your place because I don’t feel like killing you just yet.”
I scoffed, but then allowed a smirk to appear on my lips, raising an eyebrow at him, “How’s your ship? Did you fix it? Or did it sink—”
“I will make you pay for it.” Hongjoong’s voice hardened and I leaned closer in, inches away from his face, still smirking.
“What are you waiting for? We both know you won’t kill me.” I spoke sweetly, tauntingly, “You should’ve just fucked me and forgotten about me, Hongjoong.”
It felt good using his own words against him, it almost made me cackle. Hongjoong hissed and pushed me away from his body by my waist, making me chuckle as he proved that I was right. Of course I was right. I could see right through him right now, his eyes gave it away as he looked away, taking off towards the exit. The cave was eerily silent as I followed after him, debating whether to say something or remain quiet as Hongjoong wouldn’t look my way. Silence was fine by me, I didn’t have much to say either way, just a couple of insults I knew would tick Hongjoong the right way, but then he might just actually kill me.
“Let’s call a truce,” My eyes widened as he spoke up first, almost by the end of the cave, the water washed against our boots, “For a week, until we get far enough from each other. But after that—I won’t show any more mercy.”
“I don’t want you to show mercy,” I scoffed, noting how the wind howled violently outside, that wasn’t good, “I’m not a helpless little girl. I’m a feared pirate just like you, I can take care of myself and of my crew.”
Hongjoong hummed, and after a second glanced back at me, “I know. I’ve always respected you for that.”
My eyes widened as he turned back towards the front, surprising me. Not many men respected women, especially not when you were pirates and especially not when your whole crew was made out of women. As the water reached ankle deep and we stepped around the rocks, it became quite obvious that there was a ragging storm outside. That meant we couldn’t paddle back to our respective ships. That was bad. Hongjoong stopped as he reached the exit, pulling back as the waves crashed violently against the shore, the wind blowing strongly and howling where we stood. Fuck. I sighed as I looked off in the distance, the heavy rain concealing my ship. But I knew the girls were fine as they were close to the shore, the storm not as violent here as in the open sea.
“We can’t go back.” Hongjoong muttered and I nodded, glancing at him from my peripheral.
“I hope the storm passes by the morning.” I agreed with him, making Hongjoong sigh as he rubbed his forehead.
“Jongho and Wooyoung said nothing about a storm coming—”
“We’re close to the Black Ocean and the Ragging Sea, the weather is unpredictable here.” I told Hongjoong as we turned to face each other, “We shouldn’t stay here unless we want a wave to crash into us and take us out into the sea.”
“I know,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, giving me a glare as he started walking back inside the cave, “We can set up a fire and sleep here tonight.”
I scoffed as I followed after him, “As if I’ll sleep next to you.”
“You won’t have much of a choice, unless you want the dead men as your companion—”
“Shut up,” I snapped, glaring at him as I walked past him, “I hope the sea swallows up Siwon.”
“Wouldn’t be as satisfying as cutting his head off—”
“Did you find a mermaid?” I heard Hongjoong pause for a second behind me as we jumped over the rocks, walking through the ankle-deep water.
“It was a siren, not a mermaid, those don’t exist—”
“How do you know?”
“The creature told us—well, mostly Jongho. I don’t know, they were weird.” I glanced back at Hongjoong as we walked further inside the cave, away from the howling wind and the sea. His eyebrows were furrowed as he shook his head, it made me chuckle.
“What? Did your little crew guy fall in love with the siren?” It was an assumption, but Hongjoong’s suddenly tense stature gave it away and my own eyes widened as I fully looked at him, quite intrigued, “Wait, seriously?!”
“He’s been obsessed with those things ever since his childhood,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes as if he still believed sirens were merely fairytales, “but I didn’t think he’d actually fall for one. I have a feeling she follows us around; I keep hearing Jongho talking to someone when we’re sailing through the Ragging Sea but when I check, he’s alone and walking away from the railing.”
I chuckled and looked at him with a taunting smile, “I didn’t know your crew was made up of little boys—”
“It’s not.” Hongjoong snapped and gave me a threatening glare, “But I won’t stop anyone from being themselves. Jongho has his own culture which has different believes than the other ones, I won’t strip that away from him.”
And suddenly realization dawned on me. Four years ago, when I told him I was from the North, he brought up one if his crew members, “Is he from the North?”
Hongjoong nodded wordlessly and we didn’t speak anymore as we reached the sand, Hongjoong throwing his swords down and taking off his vest, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt. I placed down my weapons as well and untied my hair from the ponytail, massaging my scalp as Hongjoong glanced at me before walking off, headed towards the open chamber filled with the dead men. We decided to settle down just before the turn to the left, not quite fond of sharing a space with twenty-four dead men. At least there wasn’t a stench here made by them and we wouldn’t see them thank to the turn.
After Hongjoong brought back the wooden chair Siwon used as his pathetic throne and ripping it to pieces, we set the fire, using a torch and snitching some rum from the dead men having left behind for us to consume. We found a chest filled with some blanket and a few cutting instruments, but nothing which could be useful for us tonight in any significant way, so we left those alone. The fire burned strongly, embers jumping out from it from time to time, but we sat a respectful distance away, not keen of getting burned alive. Hongjoong had his shirt unbuttoned and the ends of his pants pulled up to his knees, both of our boots long disregarded, the fine sand quite pleasant against my skin. It was smoother than any sand I have stepped on before. I had my hair in a bun and had gotten rid of my corset, wishing I could take off my tight leather pants as well, but Hongjoong was around, I didn’t want him gawking at my legs. We had settled into a comfortable silence, surprisingly, as we passed the bottle of rum between the two of us, sipping on it quietly. It burned my throat each time I gulped it down, but the taste wasn’t too bad, being it one of the finer brands. Siwon was shallow like that, despite having little money, he’d spend it on the most expensive things, indebting himself to anyone who allowed it. It was truly pathetic. I hope the sea swallowed him whole. As I placed the bottle between the two us, not sitting too far apart, but not too close either, I felt Hongjoong’s sharp gaze bore into the side of my head. He’s been looking at me for quite some time now, but I continued ignoring him, until it became annoying and I huffed, whipping my head around to face him. He didn’t look away, to my surprise, just continued looking at me, taking in my face. So I did the same thing to him. I allowed my eyes to run over his blonde hair, his mullet significantly having gotten longer compared to four years ago, now it reached his shoulders at the back. His cat-like eyes were still rimmed with black eye-liner, smudged at this point from having sweat a lot. His face had gotten sharper, jaw more defined and nose standing tall. His lips were red and his cheeks were flushed from the rum we’ve been drinking for a while now. Despite that, I felt sober. My thoughts clear, my vision just alright, body still alert as I was still sharing a drink with my enemy. Yet somehow, Hongjoong looked peaceful right now, eyebrows not furrowed for once, eyes not glaring for once. I knew he hated me, I could see it still, but it was rather subdued as we continued looking at each other wordlessly. It impressed me how many people he killed tonight, how many he beheaded. That was a very hard task, it demanded a lot of strength and force, yet Hongjoong seemed to do it like it was simply nothing. His gaze became a little bit too much so I turned away, looking at the fire as I cleared my throat, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them with my arms.
“Why have you been trying to sabotage me for the past four years?” Hongjoong’s question took me off guard. He didn’t speak too loudly, voice laced with curiosity as his gaze continued burning into the side of my head. I could tell him the truth or I could lie to him. I didn’t find a reason to do the later.
“Because nobody takes women seriously in our society, especially a crew full of them calling themselves pirates,” I spoke up, voice laced with disdain as I glared into the flames, “I didn’t have anything against you at the beginning, but then you started taking all the good stuff away from us. We’d get our hands on second-hands only, things which were useless while the merchants demanded an obnoxious sum for them. They were laughing at us, trying to fuck us over thinking we were dumb. I tried everything before I decided to bribe the people who worked for you. It wasn’t the easiest, but I have my ways. And when people still didn’t take us too seriously, we decided to become what real pirates are. Merciless, vile, and dangerous. If we didn’t rob the other ships in the middle of the night we would be long dead.”
Hongjoong remained silent, and I glanced at him, realizing he was also staring at the flames now, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leaned back on his hands, “You know, four years ago when we met in that Inn…I knew you were acting. With that man, and then afterwards with me.”
My eyes widened and I turned my head, looking at Hongjoong surprised. He had an amused smile on his lips as he glanced at me, “I saw you in the market earlier that day, acting quite different than at the Inn. And I heard when your second-in-command called you Captain, too.”
“Then why did you interfere?” I asked with my mouth hanging open, always having been convinced that Hongjoong fell for my act.
“Because I was intrigued,” Hongjoong confessed, turning his head to look me in the eyes, “I wanted to find out who you were and what you did. And you were also really beautiful.”
The information had to sit for a moment as I repeated Hongjoong’s words in my head, chuckling, “I were?”
That shouldn’t have been my most important concern right now, but I couldn’t help it as Hongjoong’s eyes slightly hardened, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he gulped, “You still are.”
I bit my lower and blamed his honesty on the alcohol, knowing that he’d never confess such thing to me normally. Not when he wanted me dead so badly.
“You should’ve just minded your own business,” I found myself whispering as I looked at the sand, “At the Inn, that night, you should’ve—just walked away. Left me alone. I knew what I was doing, maybe that way we would’ve never gotten here.”
“You mean to hating each other? To wanting the other dead?” Hongjoong scoffed, voice hardening suddenly, “Then you shouldn’t have meddled with my business, Y/N. Because you almost ruined everything for my crew. For me. Everything that my father has built from scratch!”
I rolled my eyes before looking back at him, noticing the annoyance in his voice as he stared at me with a newfound spark in his eyes, “You almost killed us all. My crew, my brothers, we could’ve lost everything if I didn’t know the right people, pulled the right strings.”
“You think you were the only one struggling?” I raised my voice unwillingly, getting fired up by his accusation, “Did you not hear what I just told you minutes ago, Hongjoong? Men walked all over us every day, no matter what we did!”
“Is it my fault you were born women?!” I scoffed at his incredulous question, glaring at him hard.
“Of course not, I don’t know why I expected you to understand me when you had everything handed to you ready!”
“I had everything handed to me ready?!” Hongjoong’s voice raised too, eyes widening, “My mother died in front of me from a flu! I cried myself to sleep for two years after her death until my father threatened to abandon me if I didn’t toughen up because I was a man! A pirate. And then we found Seonghwa and I finally found some happiness. He understood my struggles! I was only fifteen when my father died right in front of me—”
“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at Hongjoong, who’s eyes were filling with hatred second by second, “Because I don’t give a fuck about your life, Hongjoong. You think I have parents at home who are waiting for me with open arms? I got sent to a war when I was thirteen! And they kicked me out after I told them I wanted to become an actress! When I visited them years later and told them I was finally making a living for myself by owning a small ship and having a small crew they—they disowned me!”
“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” Hongjoong’s words felt like a slap in my face, my own words ringing in my ears as my hands turned into fists, making me glare at him, “I don’t feel sorry for you at all, Y/N. You’re a bad person and you deserved everything—”
I snapped. I grabbed the dagger laying to my left and got on top of Hongjoong so fast the air was knocked out of his lungs as I pushed him back against the sand, dagger digging into his neck. My heart was beating fast and my head was swimming with the words he said seconds ago, vision blurring for a second from the tears which sprung into my eyes. But I blinked them away, staring down at Hongjoong with hatred, sneering at him as his eyes hardened, glaring up at me.
“I hate you,” I gasped out breathlessly, hand shaking as the fury consummated my bloodstream, “you maimed me for life. You carved your initial into my skin, Hongjoong. I can’t even look in the mirror anymore because I get disgusted. You ruined me. I have to cover it up if I go out in public. I hate it when my girls look at me with pity each time their eyes accidentally fall on the scar. I hate you so much. I want to kill you. I want you dead. I want to never see you again, I want—”
“Kill me.” Hongjoong’s chest was falling and rising quickly, lips parted as he stared up at me, the same fire I felt inside my body reflected in his own eyes, “Kill me, and Seonghwa will have you dead at the break of dawn.”
“And Irene will have his head for that.” I snapped, eyes desperately trying not to fall on his lips as he craned his neck, cutting his own skin with the blade of my dagger.
“San will kill her.”
“Yeri will kill him.”
Hongjoong opened his mouth but nothing ever came out of it as we stared into each other’s eyes, hearts beating fast as my grip loosened on the dagger. I hated him, I truly did. But something didn’t let me kill him just yet, I just couldn’t do it. And the longer I stared at him the more I realized how beautiful he was, how attracted I still was to him. In a second of confusion and anger, I threw my dagger away and crashed my lips against Hongjoong’s, a small gasp leaving his lips as I pressed down harshly against his, holding his cheeks with both hands. He reacted quickly, arms wrapping around my middle as his kiss was feverish, reciprocating my hungry ones with the same force and hunger I suddenly felt towards him. My heart was racing in my chest and my cheeks were flushed as I felt hot from the rum, Hongjoong’s hands travelling up my torso until his hands were at the front of my shirt. I pulled back and sat on top of him as he raised up too, ripping the shirt apart, buttons flying everywhere. His eyes fell on the black cloth wrapped around my body and with shaky fingers I undid the three buttons holding them snugly against my torso, unwrapping the fabric from my body. I shivered as my torso was now naked, Hongjoong’s eyes falling on my breasts before he leaned forward, pressing long and wet kisses against my collarbones, sucking at some points, making me fist his hair between my fingers as I bit back moans. I refused to let him hear me, not tonight. His kisses traveled up and I gasped when he paused at the scar, pulling away to look me in the eyes before he licked it, goosebumps erupting on my skin from the feeling, biting my lip harshly, refusing to let out any sounds. Hongjoong’s eyes found mine again and he kissed me, tongue pushing in my mouth as I sucked on it, making Hongjoong moan, a smirk appearing on my lips. As I circled my arms around his neck, he suddenly gripped my waist and flipped us, his body pressing against mine. I pulled back and bit his lower lip until he growled, drawing blood. He glared at me and pulled back as he started undoing his pants, my eyes falling down his torso, fingers reaching out to trace his skin, making Hongjoong gulp audibly. His pants were down and he was semi-hard already, his eyes falling onto my pants as I got to work, undoing the lace in order to push them down. It felt amazing to finally have them off my body, and I shivered as Hongjoong traced his finger against my skin as he pulled the fabric down. Not having been with a man in more than two weeks got to me and I didn’t need much as Hongjoong could make me feel things nobody else could, making me hate him even more. He kissed up my leg, keeping eye contact and it made me want to crawl up a wall, vagina clenching around nothing as his lips brushed against my knee before he littered more kisses up my thighs, close to my crotch but not quite there. I groaned as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of my thigh, biting hard, making me grip his hair as I tried to push his head away, but he only bit harder, making me yelp as he looked at me satisfied. Why did he like seeing me in pain? He released the skin with a pop and as I looked down, his teeth mark remained, slightly having drawn blood, making me curse at him quietly, Hongjoong chuckled as he had heard me.
He never touch where I needed him the most and I was about to snap at him as he suddenly gripped me firmly and flipped me over, my eyes widening as I pushed up to all fours, resting on my forearms. I was breathing fast, still clenching around nothing and as I looked back, Hongjoong pumped himself fast, biting his lips. He suddenly looked at me as he aligned himself with my entrance and I closed my eyes shut as he pushed inside, walls clamping down on his member instantly, moving in painfully slow until he bottomed out. I felt him shudder behind me and I pushed my ass back, asking for him to move, for any friction as he started moving excruciatingly slow, setting a dreadful rhythm as I tried pushing my hips back to meet his thrusts, but his hands on my waist stopped me from doing so. He was panting as he enjoyed torturing me, until he probably had enough himself and picked up his pace, going faster and faster until the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around us with my muffled whines as I bit into my hand, Hongjoong groaning with each thrust. I started meeting him halfway, feeling the familiar coil in my lower abdomen as Hongjoong started slamming back in faster and stronger, hitting a spot all too familiar as a loud moan slipped through my lips, walls clenching around him, making him moan too.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He rasped out, grabbing my hair which was in a bun, as he continued with the brutal pace he’s set, hitting the spot over and over again, making my toes curl and my back bend more, moans falling repeatedly from my lips. I was so close, and as Hongjoong gyrated his hips while thrusting, it tipped me off the edge and I came undone, moaning his name loudly, him finishing not long after, hips stuttering as he came to a stop slowly, member still inside as he was panting, still gripping my hair. My chest was falling and rising quickly, mouth hung open from the sensations, never having experienced a feeling such strong with any other man before. Hongjoong pulled out and slowly rolled me onto my back, sitting back in between my legs as I stared up at him. His face was flushed and I looked at his hands as he let them rest on my thighs, rubbing circles into them.
“If you don’t stop sabotaging me, I will send San to kill you.” His voice was raspy, but his words made me chuckle.
“You’ve sent him once and I’m still alive, what makes you think he’ll succeed a second time?” I raised my eyebrows and Hongjoong glared at me, “If you want me to die, you will have to kill me yourself. Watch me in the eyes when you plunge that knife deep inside my heart—”
My words got quickly muffled by Hongjoong’s lips as he pressed them against mine hurriedly, kissing me messily, hand going around my neck firmly, gripping it but not squeezing. I kissed him back with the same energy, hooking my legs around his hips as I pulled his body closer to mine, fingers threading through the longer strands of his mullet. Hongjoong pulled back from the kiss, but his lips brushed against mine lightly as he stared me down, eyes glaring. I licked at his lips, making his glare deepen as he pulled back a little bit more.
“You’re mine,” His forefinger suddenly pressed harder into the scar on my neck, “And I can do whatever I want to do with you, whenever I want to.”
I chuckled and hooked my arms around his neck as I flipped us over, pressing down my lower body against his, his member twitching as I rubbed up against it, turned on, as Hongjoong still held my neck firmly.
“I guess I’ll have to continue making your days a living nightmare, then.” I smirked and Hongjoong yanked me down, tongue in my mouth and hand on my waist as I started moving my hips, enjoying the way his grip tightened even more around my neck.
If fucking him kept me alive for a little longer, then I would do it with a lot of pleasure. After all, I knew Hongjoong wasn’t capable of killing me…but neither was I capable of killing him.
Next part (divider)
#bvidzsoo#ateez series#ateez smut#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#kim hongjoong#hongjoong angst#hongjoong fluff#hongjoong ateez#ateez angst#ateez fluff#hongjoong oneshot#ateez x reader#park seonghwa#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi jongho#ateez pirate au#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios
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Having finished the first "Jedi Apprentice" book... some thoughts based purely on that one book and the movies...
On one hand, I do think that no one should have ever let Qui-Gon Jinn be responsible for a child. Like, yeah, the Jedi Council keeps sending children into horribly dangerous situations all the time (because it's kids media, this is how kids media works), so I will not put Obi-Wan repeatedly being in lethal physical danger entirely on Qui-Gon (it's a little bit on him); there's an institutional issue here. But, for the love of goodness, that aside, Qui-Gon is obviously just not currently equipped to take responsibility for and help a child's emotional and mental wellbeing.
On the other hand, I do think that this was... decently written? The characterization is clear. I do understand why Qui-Gon Jinn thinks the way that he does even if I find a lot of his thoughts infuriating and strongly disagree with his conclusions. His past experiences with a padawan fucked him up and it's coloring all of his current choices, and he knows it but doesn't want to examine exactly how. PLUS there is the cultural / institutional element of even Jedi initiates being deadly little killing machines and padawans regularly being sent into danger. Qui-Gon grew up this way, he evidently views some element of this as normal and acceptable. This is along the lines of what happened to HIM as a child.
And that's interesting. Obi-Wan Kenobi will later turn around and make some of the exact same mistakes with Anakin Skywalker.
PLUS there's the knowledge that Qui-Gon was trained by Dooku and... I have to believe that Dooku was probably worse, honestly. Like, I have not read the additional materials that might show off that master-apprentice relationship, but Dooku became a damn Sith Lord who waged war against the galaxy because he thought that accelerationalism would fix shit, which suggests to me that he was probably a strict and demanding master, probably not especially emotionally available, especially emotionally intelligent, and/or especially respectful of, like, other people's opinions or feelings. I won't assume at the moment that it was intentionally abusive or that there wasn't some affection there; I AM going to assume that the Dooku & Qui-Gon dynamic was in some way dysfunctional as all get out, though.
Qui-Gon is actively refusing to take a padawan because he knows that he's not in a good place for one and doubts his own teaching abilities! He really does not want to be responsible for a child! (And Yoda is going, "Fix him, I can," and by "I", Yoda means "12-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi".) Unfortunately, Qui-Gon is so desperate to avoid Xanatos happening again that he shies away from taking even temporary guardianship of Obi-Wan Kenobi for the duration of a transport flight.
So, while knowing that Qui-Gon Jinn is going to fuck up even harder in later books, my current vibes for him are... He's like one of those unintentionally toxic parents who is doing their best most of the time but honestly can't see what exactly is fucked up about their behavior, because THEIR parents were WAY worse and even more abusive, and also general society generally agrees that "not starving your child" / "not beating your child with a belt" / "not causing any physical harm" is the peak of "good" parenting. I would bet that Dooku's expectations for Qui-Gon's skills and behavior as a 12/13-year-old were extremely high.
So, Qui-Gon means well, and is probably internally holding himself up against Dooku and correctly seeing that he is WAY better with kids than Dooku, but unfortunately, Dooku REALLY sucked as a teacher and guardian. (Like, Dooku may have successfully passed on skills, but the whole experience was generally volatile and unpleasant for Qui-Gon.) So "way better than Count Fucking Dooku" still lands us all firmly on: "Oh, shit, Qui-Gon fucking sucks at this, actually."
And Qui-Gon KNOWS he sucks at this! He knows he's not good with Obi-Wan, even if he doesn't fully grip his own position and impact. He's busy risking his own life and nearly dying multiple times fighting pirates and mining overseers right now in this first book, so he doesn't exactly have the time or the tools to fix his shit right now, even if he knew where to get started and actually wanted to rip open those old wounds. (And he does not.)
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Blood for Ruin
Master list
Part One : Part Two : Part Three : Part Four : Part Five : Part Six : Part Seven : Part Eight : Part Nine
Alastor x OFC/Reader (no use of Y/N)
Part Ten
(Or, Alastor proves he’s a walking red flag, but a well fed one)
Minors DNI, 18+
Triggers: Light bondage, restraint below (consensual).
Regardless of the actions the two of you had joined in over the course of…many…hours - it was no easier explaining to Alastor your theory on what exactly was cooking between you on the magic scale.
Since everything you had learned about deals were explicitly learned through texts, and not practise, your inability to properly express these thoughts had gotten on the man's nerve a few times already.
”So, my dear, it is of your theory that we somehow are fluidly passing magic between us - without my knowledge or consent, mind you - and now you seem to be having shadows commit themselves to your needs without your control or permission that you currently are unable to show to me?”
Even though the radio voice was undeniably attractive, when he had a lack of inflection paired with an absolute disbelief you were infuriated. Though he was right, it was frustrating that the shadows who helped you in the library were MIA because if you could, you would have shown him.
Scrunching your face in thought, you chewed at your bottom lip while you stared at the coffee he had appeared with when you awoke. Even though it was later in the evening when you rose from your after-sex rest, the lack of food or drink had you ravenous. Alastor, apparently ever the gentleman, had made sure your needs were met, pushing a tray of light snacks and coffee to you before you blurted out the thoughts that had been pushed aside since you had come across Alastor the night before.
The silence that took over was starting to make you blush from embarrassment. Still looking down, you quietly offered your defence and a last ditch attempt.
”Alastor, I promise you - I’m telling the truth. Whatever you did with Charlie upstairs had consequences and I am absolutely not equipped to be dealing with it. And if you aren’t even aware of it, that has to be even more serious because I promise you - this is not something I want. I don’t want anything to do with magic, I don’t trust it, it’s never on your side - what if I do something and it affects you? You’ve got all these rules to keep the both of us - well, you really and truly, safe. Now I’m telling you about a possible extended weakness and I just need you to take me seriously. I’m not lying about this. I promise. Trust me, I think the both of us know that we could be spending this time together in a more interesting way instead of me trying to convince you of some half-baked ridiculous story.”
Halfway during your rant you had lifted your head up to make eye contact with the demon, who was seemingly staring directly into you. Hyper-focused and thinly smiling he allowed you to get everything you needed to say, again, before releasing a very deep sigh from his chest and placing two fingers between his brows as he frowned and gathered his thoughts.
Another brief moment of silence hiccuped past you two before he finally responded.
“I promise you my dear, you have nothing to worry about. I am most certainly not worried. If what you say is true, these powers you have obtained will make themselves known. Hopefully soon, and hopefully without issue. I would like to hope that if they were to appear they would do so rather quickly in order for us to consider you less of a liability.” He took his monocle off to lamely polish it with a handkerchief from his pocket, appearing to be unaffected by your own nerves and worry.
“Speaking of which, we must discuss your presence during the extermination.” He stated, meeting your eyes once more. “Clearly with your inability to fight, I would believe it would be best for you to stay within the centre of the hotel - away from the frontlines.”
You frowned in confusion. “Won’t everyone be a little suspicious that I’m not fighting alongside them? This is a team effort, Alastor. I’m a part of this team too.” You defended. “Besides, I’ve done a good job staying out of trouble, right? I have done what you said, and Angel has been showing me some defensive moves as well - I‘m pretty good!” You made a couple of fists and did small punches in his direction across the table. He raised a brow and allowed a small smirk to pass over his mouth before putting his serious mask back on.
“I will think of something that requires you to stay away from the fight. I am expected to take on Adam myself, as I have promised as such, and whatever damage I may do on my own without the fear of keeping you safe as well will be far greater than having you fighting Angels. We have secured Rosie and her cannibals, Miss Vagatha will be training other residents and the cannibals in offensive training, Angel and his obnoxious friend are securing more rifles and explosives - really and truly I believe you will find yourself simply in the way of all of this.”
Having someone like Alastor act concerned for you felt wrong, but what made you feel worse was that it did sound like he had zero faith in you being able to keep yourself safe. What if Adam damaged him? Small feelings of insecurity that you had thought you left behind in the overworld began to creep up into your mind. Did anyone have faith that you were able to keep yourself safe? And with Alastor seeming like he didn’t quite believe your thoughts of this entire magic situation, that was an entirely different level of panic.
What if the magic itself caused Alastor damage? Or yourself? That would defeat the whole purpose of staying out of the firing range. What if this magic made itself known at the wrong time? Too early? Too late? Alastor clearly noted the level of concern you were focusing on, because he had reached a hand out to tap the space on the table you were currently hyper focused on, scaring you out of your thoughts.
“Once again, you are entirely too caught up in your thoughts.” He said firmly. “In fact, everyone is forgetting why it is that I am here, darling. I am engaged to protecting this establishment and the occupants inside. This was before you stumbled down here, and your presence only makes my duty more important. So I will not say it again - if you stay out of the frontlines, you will have nothing to worry about.”
You really hoped that the poker face you had been working on with Husk was believable, and as Alastor only spent a fraction of a second analyzing your response, he directed his attention elsewhere as he attempted to lead the discussion in a new direction, allowing your whirlwind of thoughts to take charge in your mind once more. You only hoped that you hid it better this time.
————-
When the eve of the big day finally arrived, you applauded your ability to not throw up upon waking. Alastor and you had essentially been kept apart for the last week due to the preparation and training everyone had been involved in. With no one truly knowing any level of your connection, the only beings who suffered were the two of you. Though you had noticed an increase in shadowy figures following in your peripheral area in the last few days, glowing when they caught sight of your small smile in their presence.
Somehow Alastor had manipulated the arrangement of individuals and you found yourself in charge of the spare weaponry In the foyer. You would be protected by the walls of the hotel, which Charlie had said held their own particular magic of keeping those inside safe (thanks to Lucifer).
That way you could still be deemed useful, and an active participant in the fight without putting either you or Alastor at risk. Angel had piped up yesterday that it was curious why Alastor was adamant on getting you off the frontline, and thankfully no one else read too much into it. But he did corner you on the way to bed and attempted to straight up bully You for information.
Thankfully, some well positioned shadow imps intervened, wreaking havoc in the hallway by tearing off the wallpaper and throwing whatever objects They found at the two of you, resulting In you each taking shelter in your rooms. Though you haven't seen him, your heart swelled at the thought of Alastor focused on keeping you safe. You tried not to think About it too deeply that it might be solely in his own interest, but if the late night reciprocal orgasms the two of you had been sharing were brought into the equation there may actually be a chance it wasn’t just for self-preservation.
Still, it would have been nice to see him before tomorrow.
_________
Suddenly, you were startled awake at the sound of a loud banging. Attempting to blink the sleep away and gain composure out of the confusion you were assaulted with, you realised you weren’t in your room.
Well, sort of.
A cold sweat overtook you as you locked in the finer details of this room. An old radio on a desk by the window, defective television with a strange static hum present in your ears - the banging at the door.
Were you…reliving your death? Everything seemed choppier, almost distorted in your mind's eye. It seemed like everything was pulsing with your own heartbeat, like a twisted dream. You had had a couple of strange dreams since you died, but surprisingly nothing on the night of your death. It was so quick and matter of fact, there truly wasn’t any reflection you could do. You were shot by intruders, and quickly died of blood loss. Boom. Pretty cut and dry.
But right now, the banging seemed to go on longer than you remembered. You jumped out of bed, noticing that with every step you took towards the door, a bright blue light was illuminated from behind it, getting stronger the closer you got. Suddenly the banging ceased. You tried the handle - locked. The dead bolt was locked, the chain lock was fed through.
You tried to call out a hello, but you found your voice distorted, almost bubbly like you were talking underwater. You clutched at your throat, and suddenly the blue light pulsed, lighting the entire room, lining the door. You raised a hand to shield your eyes, and the television exploded, followed by the popping sounds of lightbulbs bursting, the ceiling light raining shards over you.
From the blue light, you suddenly noticed all of the shadowy figures you had grown accustomed to, but they didn’t sport a sly grin like usual - they truly looked more demonic than ever. They fought the blue light with a green in return. The eyes were shaped like radio dials, the smiles stretched past where normal ears would be, and it almost appeared like each shadow was sewn together with large stitches. There were a handful, and each growing in size. You felt a pull from behind, before eventually putting themselves between you and the door.
Squinting from the fighting lights, the static from earlier started to build in the room, and the door started to vibrate in tandem with the growing hum. You covered your ears and yet could still hear a pitchy, cackling laugh out of range. The door slammed open, pinning itself to the wall and through squinting eyes you notified a tall, slim figure - Alastor?
No, the head wasn’t right. There was no head. Just a giant, empty space devoid of light. It was large, and it was truly an unfortunate size if it were a head. Footsteps broke the static sound, and the shadows attempted to wrap themselves around this stranger, only to be pushed aside from the figure. The blue light was taking over the green, and you were rattled. Wishing the dream would change, but knowing it wouldn’t, you started to head towards where the bathroom should be, but alas - this dream was ill-prepared for defence.
The figure, though it started as skinny, started to bubble and morph, keening over itself and seemingly gaining new shape, with two massive horns on a now giant, rounded head. Adam? It seemed similar from what you recognized according to Charlie’s vivid description and colourful doodle she provided, but it was still shadowy and dark. Suddenly a giant ball of blue light was building in front of it, and the sound of electricity burning your eardrums. Hands up, you tried again to speak against whatever might happen, and again your voice failed you.
You could feel the tears building in your eyes, burning your cheeks as they fell. This death seemed imminent, you wished you would wake up but the shadowy figures had disappeared once the strangers' shape changed. Your skin was slick with sweat, scared of the nightmare this was becoming. You could feel your heart race increase, almost choking on the pressure that was building - then the figure spoke, almost melodically -
“Radio’s fucking dead, bitch”
A light smashed against you, slamming you into the wall as a wail escaped you. It was like you were hit with fire, your chest was split open, with your blood - somehow gold - spilling out in droves. The pain was immense, and you coughed up blood onto the ground as you folded over yourself. Your hands were keeping you up from lying on the floor, and the footsteps of the figure came closer.
A hand wrapped itself in your hair and yanked you up, making you meet the gaze of the creature before you. Alastor had a sinister smile, indeed, but this figure was on another level of demonic. It was laughing at you, and you could tell you were fading away. What was happening? Was this a dream or were you truly dying a second time?
The figure's other hand came into your view, holding the head of a spear within it, the shine of the metal informing you of its angelic status and you gasped. This must be real life, real dead life, and you were going to die. The hand came rushing towards you as you finally screamed, the world around you shattering like broken glass and suddenly -
Suddenly you were being shaken violently. You could hear chattering noise immediately, as the hum from before had disappeared. Someone was saying your name, but it sounded like they were a great distance away. Pentious and Vaggie were very clear, questioning loudly what was going on.
Your eyes finally cleared from the burn of a bright light after a dark room and you focused on Alastor. His hand was on your shoulder - had he been the one shaking you? And though he still sported a smile, he had a noticeable frown on his face. You shot up, clutching at your chest, looking at your hands for any sign of blood. Alastor rose from his seated position to meet your eyes again as he said your name.
You noticed there was a level of concern present. And you knew that your heart was racing - so his was too. He was keeping it together a whole lot better than you were, but you doubted he just lived through whatever nightmare your brain cooked up.
It appeared that you had an audience. Angel sounded concerned, towering over the crowd around your bed - Charlie was on the other side, patting your face and neck with a cold cloth to take away the build up of sweat. In vain, you might add, as you could feel your hair stuck to your face from it. This was all from your peripheral however, as you found yourself unable to break eye contact with Alastor. Angel said something, Charlie replied, they were dealing with you around you, but not really acknowledging you.
Alastor made a loud noise of disapproval, in tandem with a radio screech, which interrupted everyone else’s frantic behaviour and look at him. He coughed into one hand lightly, before spinning his microphone and resting both hands on the top of it while slamming the end to the ground to make a large thud against the floorboards.
“Well, as our delightful little doe has woken up, we should all make haste and give the poor thing a chance to gather her bearings before overwhelming the little thing, hmm?” He stated, actively dismissing the group and their actions, flicking his hand towards your bedroom door to have it swing open.
Everyone glanced between you, Alastor and the door, all with varying levels of confusion. Alastor then made another sound of displeasure and suddenly everyone was being swept out of your bedroom by large shadows. You could hear everyone land on one another in the hallway, sounds of exclamation heard through your closing door.
Another wave of a hand and the door glowed green, and Alastor had made his way back to your side. He looked you over, lifting your chin to inspect your face for some semblance of understanding. The silence was killing you, and you broke it with an apology.
”You’re sorry? My dear, you must have had quite the dream. Nothing to be sorry about. The glass, however - well I’m sure if it were sentient it would demand one, truly.” You followed Alastors sweeping arm and glanced around the room. Every surface that was mirrored, or glass, had cracked. Your larger body mirror had cracked so badly there were large pieces fallen on the floor.
“Did I- did I do that?” You said, barely above a whisper. Alastor hummed a sound of certainty. “Quite the spectacle! Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if every room on this floor suffers a similar fate! You managed to break through my own wards and crack items within my room.” You groaned into your hands, trying to move some of your sweat-stuck hair off of your face. Your mind spun with theories and the residual sensation of fear from your nightmare.
”But how?” You inquired, mostly to yourself however Alastor replied anyway.
“Who knows! But, perhaps we should revisit what you mentioned to me before - about how you may just possess a level of power that we haven’t tapped into.” You snorted in frustration, and gave him a condescending look.
”Oh, now you take me seriously Alastor? When we have hours before the extermination! Oh my god - Adam!” You exclaimed, “I dreamt of Adam! He had a spear, and he said that Radio was dead - does he know about us? Why did he say that? Alastor what will w-mmfft!” A shadowy tendril had wrapped itself around your head, stopping your ramble in its tracks.
”My dear, there is simply no time for theatrics. I am curious about your dream and yes - I am taking you seriously. When you had your outburst, the magic that was expelled from you had my signature to it. Magic is a very personal thing - many have found compatible magic with other particular styles and signatures. You, however, have mine.” He nearly growled the last word out. Regardless of your status to him, he was a possessive being, what is his is his and he would kill to keep it as such. “Please, you may continue but start at the beginning, and try to keep the excitement to a minimum. This has been a long day.”
You blew air out of your nose and stared up at the ceiling before speaking, starting from the first moment you supposed you were dreaming. He listened intently, but there was a clear shift in his posture when you started to describe the blue light and morphing adversary. When you finished, you could tell that he was very displeased with what you had said.
“Interesting, dear.” He started, not looking directly at you - more like he was looking through you. Hopefully you aren’t a seer! What a shame it would be to be killed by a being such as Adam.” You frowned at his dismissive attitude, instead switching the topic.
”What time is it?” You asked, curious to how much time you had before going downstairs for the confrontation. You were exhausted and unsure if you would be getting any more sleep, which was detrimental to your chances of staying on the ball and avoiding any trouble.
”Hm.” Alastor replied, glancing at the clock (now with a broken glass face) before replying. Nearly 2am. You require sleep.” He stated with a matter of fact. You rolled your eyes in return to his statement and started to move your legs off the side of the bed, lifting the covers as you did so. Alastor frowned and jumped over to your side, stopping you from raising up by the shoulder. You glanced up with a look of disbelief, what, you were incapable of getting up without help now? It was just a bad dream. But before you could begin your protest Alastor intervened.
“It was not a suggestion, my dear. As politely as one may say it, you look worse than what the cat brought in. And Husk is an alcoholic - use your imagination.” He said with a bit of a sneery tone. He laughed at his own joke before allowing you to respond.
“Well Alastor, it’s far too late for me to stumble into sleep at this point. I’ve been up and conversing for the better part of a half hour now, it’s very bright and I’m sure without your sound barrier thing you’ve got going on around my room, it’s quite loud outside.” You tried to push against his hand that was still firmly on your shoulder but he would not budge, even pushing in return and attempting to force you down to the bed, but you were not having it at this moment.
“Seriously Alastor, I mean it. I don’t even think I’m tired anymore. I’m too stressed out to think about anything else other than what we can expect in a few hours and I would rather spend the time mentally preparing myself to keep my shit together.” You were grabbing at the hand now, with both of yours and you tried to keep the little growls to a minimum as you struggled. Much to your chagrin Alator seemed to think this was comical as his smirk grew with every defiant move you made.
“Unable to think of anything else, you say?” He mused, tapping his chin with his free hand. “I guarantee I can change your train of thought.” Your traitorous body yawned when you stopped struggling, and you cursed your luck as he chuckled. His hand drifted to your collar bone and began to rub the tense area slowly. He snaked his other hand behind your head and began to rub his fingers against the base of your skull, rubbing pressure into your upper neck. Instantly you felt yourself loosen up.
This was rather nice, actually. And unexpected. You wondered if Alastor being a good masseuse would be harder for the others to believe than the fact he was sexually ravenous at times. Sex could be seen as quite predatory, but this was comforting, soothing. He was sending you into a relaxed state, one that had you closing your eyes with bliss and humming a soft sound in response to his ministrations. You felt him push at your collar bone, and grip your neck as he started to lower you back to the bed.
Alastor and your knees knocked together as he settled you down, both hands drifting down your shoulders, to your biceps and forearms, before raising back up to put pressure on your ribs under your breasts and meeting together at your stomach. Your pajama shirt had ridden up a bit, the air kissing your lower stomach and raising goosebumps in return. His thumbs were placed just above your belly button, his fingers almost pulsing in pressure against your lower ribs. You hummed a sound of approval, this felt delightful.
Suddenly, a thick pressure wound itself up your legs, and your eyes shot open in return. Your head craned up to try and look below, but all you saw was Alastors head, his antlers growing slightly as shadowy tendrils appeared behind him, almost whipping him from behind with activity. He was breathing heavily, but even as you managed to get up on your elbows in an attempt to get a better visual, the tendrils crept around him to wrap up your upper arms and press you down to the bed by the shoulders.
“Alasto-oh!” You exclaimed before a tendril had managed to coil itself around your head, covering your mouth and acting as a gag. Alastor laughed darkly, deliberately, and finally raised his head in a manner that allowed the two of you to meet eyes. His sclera was black, and his irises were a pinpoint - a bright vibrant light amidst the shadows. His smile was encompassing his entire face, and thin green lines that crossed over his lips in a haphazard method appeared to flash into visibility before finally fading away with the rest of the light in the room.
“I’ll need your silence and cooperation for this, my dear.” He said with a sinister edge, layered with static. Your fear spiked and his eyes closed for a moment in near bliss, clearly feeding off the energy. “Let. Me. Help. You.”
Your sharp intake of breath and pressure against his appendages seemed to increase his frantic behaviour. You could feel his hands grow in size slightly, as if with every heartbeat. Suddenly his tongue snaked over your stomach, dipping into your belly button briefly, causing you to jerk involuntarily from the action, the air escaping your lungs with a slight exclamation at the sensation, indiscernible due to the gag. His tongue and hands continued down your torso, working in tandem with the new set of tendrils working your bottoms down your leg before simply tearing them off of you, judging by the sound of the fabric ripping.
Before you could even make a sound of displeasure to the destruction of your clothing, his tongue was at your inner thigh. Instantly reacting, feeling your cunt swell with how quickly you were turned on, Alastor released a rumble of pleasure himself, vibrating across your body. His teeth grazed against your flesh, the pressure skirting between pain and pleasure before he finally bit hard enough that he broke the skin. Your eyes stung, and you tried to exclaim against the shadowy gag, but it only tightened. You instinctively tried to jerk away from the feeling, but Alastors hands and tendrils worked together to hold you in place as he suckled up the blood pooling to the surface with fervour.
It wasn’t a deep bite, but it still throbbed with fresh pain. Alastor, content with his work, moved to the other thigh and bit that too, but not through the skin. It seemed he would be pleased with leaving small teeth shaped bruises on you as claim. His hands had travelled to your knees, and began to hold them down with enough force to prevent you from moving your legs. You made a questioning sound, getting his attention and meeting your eyes. Still blown out, his eyes flared with a certain hunger you were not familiar with from the man. The look on your face must’ve made him question his actions because he finally spoke again.
”May I?” He asked, lowering his nose to rest right above your pussy. The eye contact was almost too much, and the tendrils wrapping around your mouth loosened, but did not dissipate entirely - merely moving to play with your hair and stroke your cheeks. You sighed with pleasure at the gentle ministrations, and Alastor moved his nose to your clit, causing you to groan, and for the remaining shadowy appendages to tense up, giving you a slight feeling of helplessness.
You were overstimulated, but it felt fantastic. With Alastors shadows, you were reaching a new level of pleasure unfamiliar to you. You had questioned your position on bondage ever since Alastor had first confronted you one-on-one in the bathroom when you first arrived. The lack of control and idea that every aspect of release would be in the hands of another was tempting.
Angel had answered some basic questions you had when he was sharing some of his ‘better’ videos (“y’no, it’s the storyline that really gets the audience on this picture doll face.”) He had teased you for your lack of knowledge on the matter, but still had a wealth of knowledge available to you any time you had inquired about a particularly spicy topic.
No matter whatever it was Angel had said (since your brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders at the moment) it really had nothing on first hand experience. Alastor pressed a little harder at your clit, rubbing up and down slightly. That resulted in a soft and breathy sound of affirmation, followed by a clear statement of permission with a long yes.
Once Alastor's tongue hit your core, the shadows wrapped around your mouth once more, covering the loud sound of pleasure that escaped with his contact. Your brain was on fire while his tongue, likely swollen to provide more pressure and pleasure, dominated your inner walls. His cryptic, demented form was coming to the surface, utilising his larger features to provide you with an intense experience. He nosed at your clit, clearly smothering his face with your evidence of arousal. You could hear the sounds that were filling the void of silence, and the combination of everything resulted in a swift release of your orgasm. Alastor eagerly lapped up your gift, the suckling motions leading you right into another orgasm.
Two in such a short period of time rocked your body, and you tensed up during each one, pushing the restraints set upon you. Your knees fought to close together, but Alastor maintained his control over your body. You moaned against your gag, the vibrations rolling down your body in waves resulting in Alastor matching your sounds of pleasure. He was relentless and did not stop the assault of his tongue, now focused on your clit, frantically flicking it while you felt something new enter you.
You made a sound of shock once you understood what was happening down below. While Alastor focused his attention on your clit, a tendril had found its way inside you, swelling up and thrashing about, hitting every spot of internal pleasure that could be found.
Finally it found a soft, spongy spot and pushed against it, making your eyes roll back and your breaths to become shorter and sharper. Usually untouched due to the length of your fingers, your g-spot was no match for Alastors impressive extensions. After your reaction, all actions increased in both speed and pressure. Your eyes were burning with a buildup of tears, and you were shaking your head back and forth due to the overstimulation.
Once Alastor caught a look of your tears, however, he responded by lifting up your knees and placing them on his shoulders to get a stronger leverage and continue his actions. You were nearly screaming into your gag now, your orgasm having been built up to a new tension but unable to release due to either your body’s exhausted state or the orgasms only minutes earlier.
Or hours earlier, who knew. Time was difficult to measure when a massive deer demon was eating you out. His tendrils had wrapped around your midriff to help lift you off the bed so Alastor could hold you at the right angle.
You were shaking your head back and forth, desperate for release from yours build up. Finally when his teeth grazed your clit with an almost too firm push, you broke. Screamed despite your mouth being covered, shaking through your intense orgasm through the firm holds that kept you in place, you came, almost violently. Your eyes closed as you tried to get your breath in order, all strange shadows dissipating into the nether as Alastor released your legs and closed your knees together. Though your eyes were closed due to exhaustion, you could hear him straightening out before heading into your bathroom and coming back with a warm towel.
He took his time and was almost gentle with the clean up. Your breath was broken, ragged from the event that just occurred. He lifted you up into his arms, which finally made you open your eyes and look up at him. He was slightly dishevelled, much to your surprise, sweat beading around his hairline and the collar of his shirt slightly askew. For a normal individual, this would be standard appearance. For someone as facisiduous as Alastor, this would be an absolute tragedy once he got a good look at himself. His shadows lifted up your blanket as he lowered you down into the bed. Your eyes were heavy, you were tired.
Oh. Alastor had basically fucked you into exhaustion. How gentlemanly of him. You giggled at your joke as he brought the blankets up your body, raising his eyebrow at you with a tight smile.
You hummed with contentment. ”You certainly helped-“ you broke into a yawn, “-me”. Another yawn caused you to really relax into your pillow, “Stand-up job, truly. Amazing. 5 stars.” You mumbled as you drifted into slumber. Though you couldn’t see it, Alastor beamed at your praise, correcting his collar as he walked towards your bedroom door. Pleased you were finally asleep, he turned off the lights and removed the magical sound barrier he had first placed on your door when he kicked the group out of your room.
Making his way across the hall, he snapped his head so sharply at a small squeak in the floor to determine the noise. Angel, clad in a short housecoat, facemask, and toothbrush, was in his own threshold, staring at Alastor with wide eyes. Being in the industry, it was easy for him to pick up on ‘freshly fucked’ vibes. The two men stalled in the hall, staring each other down before Alastor went to his own room, turned to the porn star and stated, before closing his door with gusto,
”No one will believe you, night night!”
Angel whipped his head between your room and Alastors, before quickly running over and opening yours. In the dimly lit room, he could see your rising form in the bed, relieved to see you unharmed. However he quickly caught the smell of sex, and his jaw dropped, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water for a few seconds before he hightailed it back to his own room, shutting and locking the door behind him.
“Holy shit!” He exclaimed in disbelief, “Ho-lee-fucking-shit” He rubbed his hands in his hair and over his face before realizing he ruined his face mask. Swearing at himself as he washed off the remnants of his pre-fight spa night, he caught his own eyes in the mirror before swearing loudly in frustration.
”He’s fucking right! No one will believe me at aaaalllll!”
______
Apologies for the delay. I have children so year end has been hectic and also they don’t give a shit about my smutty hobby so they eat up all my time.
@queermaxwooo @drawings-by-meh @sirens-and-moonflowers @looking1016 @mo-0-o @blakeaha @mutifandomkid @ministarheaven @nightingale0603 @loadedwafflefries @rizzscary @bishiglomper @vividachromatic @fluffy-koalala @mkaella @readergirlstuff @xalygatorx @phisen @rukkshevahna @hazbin-hoetel @white-00-7 @iheartalastor @littlebluefishtail @little-slyvixen @bishiglomper @catticora @alastorssimp @midorichoco @garfieldthomas @spottypug @livelaughlovealastorlol @cryssyd
#alastor#alastor smut#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel#alastor x ofc#alastorxreader#alastor x you#soulmates trope#hazbin#alastorxyou#alastor and aftercare#alastor eats out
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It’s crazy how SAG AFTRA (A union that is supposed to be looking out for actors) is going out of their way to make it damn near impossible to make a living as an actor.
Funny how the strikes have ended but nothing seems to have changed. Shows are still getting cancelled, studios are still hellbent on shoving AI down the general public’s throats, and anybody who isn’t an A-Lister is struggling to make ends meet.
I gotta ask, what was the point of striking for six months straight if everything was just gonna go back to square one?
The biggest issue I have with the current state of SAG AFTRA is that it feels less like a union and more like a spoiled rich kids country club. Where those who are on top will do everything they can to fuck everyone else over.
Pretty sure Fran Drescher and her cronies don’t even know how many members the union actually has. They most likely believe that they only rep the big names and nobody else.
This isn’t anything new, as the concept of voice acting has always been looked down on in America. It was always seen as that thing that quote and quote “Nobodies” did or an easy paycheck for A-Listers who needed extra cash.
So I’m not really surprised that SAG AFTRA decided to fuck over voice actors. But it is infuriating none the less.
I’ve spoken to plenty of people who moved to LA to pursue a career in voice over. And it really fucking sucks knowing that their careers will never be given the opportunity to grow thanks to this AI shit.
Not everyone can pull a Matt Mercer and have a side project like Critical Role turn into a massive brand.
Hell, a lot of voice actors I’ve talked to have to rely on cons and Twitch streams to keep a roof over their heads because they aren’t making enough to get by.
I’ll always be pro unions, but fuck SAG AFTRA.
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Ranking 2024 anime, Pt. 2: #40-31
hey, this post is also available on my ko-fi, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i do this for free and am currently between jobs. you can find part 1 of the list here. thanks!
Alright, on we go to the list proper. The first post was probably whiplash-inducing, going from a bunch of shorter stuff I loved to whole seasons I hated, but we can only go up from here. I watched a lot of anime this year, as the numbers indicate, so there's a little positivity to be found even in the lower rankings.
As always, OPs are linked in the series titles. Watch them, they're almost all great.
40. Metallic Rouge
One of the biggest disappointments of the year, one which I didn’t think could be outdone (and I’ll get to that one shortly). Metallic Rouge had so much going for it as a Studio Bones original for its anniversary, and managed to fumble all of its promise and goodwill in slow, agonizing fashion.
It’s a shame, too. Metallic Rouge still looks awesome; the character and mech designs are excellent, the space-cyberpunk aesthetic is undeniable, and the animation can be terrific when it counts. The story, on the other hand, is so completely asinine that I was sick of this show before it ended. I’ve mostly forgotten what even happens, partly because it was that infuriating to keep up with, and partly because I feel like the writers forgot too; the bulk of any actual story felt backloaded into the last two or three episodes because they focused too hard on vibes for a while. I think they were trying to go for some “G-Witch by way of Detroit: Become Human” something or other, but all of it rang hollow. I’m still not sure whether it needed more runtime or better writers. Probably both.
Not worth your time. Just watch the OP and imagine a better show than what we got.
39. Mysterious Disappearances
I’ve thought so little about this show since it went off the air that I don’t really have anything new to say. Looks pretty lousy most of the time, not that interesting, oddly horny, and the plot structure gets kind of cloying after a while.
I know I harped on that last point when I reviewed it at the end of the spring season, but something funny happened after I did. Back in July, I mentioned that I took issue with the formula of “we encounter a paranormal anomaly, it’s identified as a yokai or urban legend, we learn its tragic backstory, our protagonists give it closure, and we move on” because it felt manipulative after I realized that it happened with every arc, and then I went ahead and read DanDaDan, which basically does exactly the same thing but a hell of a lot better. Comparing a middling work like this to DanDaDan of all things feels unfair, but they cover pretty similar ground. Maybe it’s sharper writing, or maybe it’s just a more engaging work. Who’s to say?
I’d also said in my review that Mysterious Disappearances unintentionally gives off the vibe of a poorly-archived mid-2000s series, but I hadn’t realized just how right I was: It turns out that studio Zero-G just went ahead and made up its own ending even though the source material is still ongoing. Better shows did the same this year, but the studio and I seem to have the same level of faith that this anime’s ever coming back.
38. My Deer Friend Nokotan
Honestly? Fuck this show.
I’ve already gone into what I did and didn’t like about Nokotan after it went off air a few months ago and I don’t care to revisit that while it’s still relatively fresh. Not nearly as funny as it pretended to be, yet still not even confident in its own sense of humor. The OP's still a bop (calling it "Shikairo Days" was a genuinely great joke), and a small handful of gags do land, but not enough to prevent this from being a massive disappointment. At the same time, Nokotan was still somehow not the biggest letdown of the year.
37. Uzumaki
This was the biggest letdown of the year.
When an anime adaptation of the legendary Junji Ito horror manga was first announced in 2019, it was hard not to get excited. Even when I’d mostly fallen out of anime fandom, I knew damn well who Junji Ito was and I knew Uzumaki. Adult Swim was funding the project, a prestige studio in Production I.G. was handling the animation, and they even nabbed Hereditary composer Colin Stetson for the score. Ito’s manga is famously very difficult to adapt well, and it looked like we finally had a project being taken seriously. Delays and radio silence in the ensuing years were disappointing, but I was willing to be patient if it meant everything was being handled right. When the trailer dropped this summer, it looked like it would be worth the wait.
And for one glorious episode, it seemed like everyone’s patience paid off. Uzumaki’s debut episode was one of the most visually arresting pieces of animation I’ve ever seen: The entire look and feel was faithful to Ito’s inimitable style, from the meticulously detailed linework to the stark black-and-white color grading of his manga’s pages. On top of that, the animation itself was absurdly good; the process of rotoscoping 3D motion capture seemed arduous, but the end result was beautifully lifelike for a story where that quality could only serve to instill further terror. Several of the most iconic images from the early chapters looked incredible in hi-def motion. Sure, the pacing was a little fast, but this was a four-episode miniseries. We could deal. This was just too good.
And then came the second episode.
I’m not going to over-elaborate or relitigate every single thing that went wrong here, because it’s a lot. Uzumaki was in development for a long time, and that five year gap between announcement and release included several detriments to the production process, not the least of which being COVID, animation production changing hands between several studios, and new leadership for Adult Swim’s parent company that now favors profit over product, especially when it comes to animation that doesn’t involve DC characters. Plenty of us figured that all of these delays and a run of only four episodes meant that they had the time to hammer out all the issues and give us the best possible product. That, unfortunately, was not the case.
Responding to complaints about the decline in animation in the second episode, executive producer Jason DeMarco (who, to be blunt, has overseen several mediocre-to-awful anime products released under the Adult Swim brand, including my bottom-ranked anime of 2023) claimed in a quickly-deleted Bluesky thread that there is indeed a higher-up to blame and that they were left with an ultimatum to either drop Uzumaki after just one episode, let it go the way of so many other Warner Bros non-releases under David Zaslav’s disastrous leadership, or release the whole miniseries in its half-baked state. They went with the third.
So, what we got was an uneven, often sloppy work; another mediocrity to throw on the pile of failed Junji Ito adaptations. All goodwill established in the first episode is soon undone by wonky character models, uncanny walk cycles, and movement that looks like PNGs being dragged across a background at the most inopportune times. Plenty of viewers, myself included, were willing to overlook the accelerated pacing after the first episode, but that issue was thrown into stark relief by the second when entire chapters of the manga began playing out simultaneously, and one was even reduced to an afterthought for a cheap “scare” at the end of episode three.
Not that I thought Uzumaki necessarily needed a full 12-episode season for a proper adaptation or anything; Ito’s output can often be light on story, and dragging it out too far risks losing interest. What makes Ito’s stories actually work, though, is a proper sense of setting and space to let tensions rise. That didn’t entirely happen here; while the atmosphere of Kurozu-cho does plenty resemble what we’ve seen from Ito’s pages, and Stetson’s atonal saxophone does a lot of work to raise the level of unease, things just kind of happen. Few things really get the chance to land as intended, in part due to the production quality cheaping out at climactic moments.
This was the last anime I finished this year even though I’d watched the first two episodes after they aired and it went off the air in October. I was looking forward to the last two episodes that little. There are still bits and pieces of great animation and faithful adaptation here and there, but not enough to regain any goodwill from the second episode’s wheels visibly falling off. Maybe it’s finally time to declare Junji Ito’s works unadaptable once and for all.
Definitely watch that first episode, though. At this point I kind of wish that’s all we’d gotten.
36. Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!
Straitlaced Nice Guy moves to a new town, laid-back gyaru from his class immediately takes a liking to him, a couple other girls enter the picture, shenanigans ensue, and a slow-burn romance begins in parallel. Nothing special on paper and nothing much more special than that in execution. The setting is lovely, though, and it really made me want to visit Hokkaido one day. Nicely done, tourism board.
If you watched this and were put off by it, I don’t blame you; I probably would’ve been too if I hadn’t decided to read ahead in the manga. I will say this, though: If you liked Hokkaido Gals even a little, read the manga. It’s a minor investment, but if you can get over the halfway mark, it gets surprisingly good and has a really lovely ending.
The anime, on the other hand? Meh. Doesn’t look super great and didn’t have enough time in 12 episodes to overcome most of the issues the source material had to move past to get to what made it worthwhile. It would take another season or two to get there, and that probably isn’t gonna happen. Great OP, though (I'm starting to repeat myself, I know). Just read the manga.
35. No Longer Allowed in Another World
Boasting one of the most audacious premises for an isekai I’ve ever seen, No Longer Allowed in Another World doesn’t shy away from the implications of an Osamu Dazai isekai, has the dark humor to match, and provides some fascinating commentary on the type of person who tends to consume wish-fulfillment isekai. Unfortunately, the presentation was a little lacking and threatened to lose my attention several times. I think the idea is much better on paper, to the point where I might test that theory and go read the manga.
34. The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic
The next dozen or so anime in the rankings fall into a category of either “well-made anime that I found kind of frustrating” or “middling anime that I kind of enjoyed.” The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic is very much the latter. It’s a standard isekai on paper; demon king, special powers, what have you, but it has a likable cast and laid-back vibe for much of its runtime that made it pleasant enough to watch.
As I said after the winter season, I really liked that Wrong Way spends a lot of its early story ensuring that the protagonist expends the time and effort necessary for him to become the hero he’s meant to be instead of the narrative just handing it to him from the start, which instantly sets it apart from most other wish-fulfillment isekai. It’s far from the best-looking anime I watched this year, but it has a mid-00s throwback look and feel to it that works more to its benefit than in Mysterious Disappearances. Nothing groundbreaking and a little too backloaded, but an enjoyable enough experience and one I’m looking forward to seeing come back.
The only really upsetting thing about this show is that Atsuko Tanaka (Major Kusanagi, Bayonetta, Kainé), who was tremendous as the intimidating Captain Rose, is no longer with us. She was an exceptional talent with an iconic voice who will be sorely missed, and future seasons of this show won’t be the same without her.
33. Go! Go! Loser Ranger
Though not a bad anime by most metrics, I still consider Loser Ranger a minor disappointment. It mostly looks great, and “what if The Boys was a sentai series” is a killer premise, but the story so far is extremely frontloaded. Almost too much happens in the first four episodes, and then the bulk of the last arc of the season takes place in a goddamn parking garage. I’m still annoyed by that. Still looking forward to season 2, but I wish the debut season had been 24 episodes to avoid the sour taste in my mouth.
Did you hear that echo? Yep, that's me telling you to watch yet another OP. Easily the best part of the show and one of the best of the year. Tatsuya Kitani can't keep getting away with it.
32. Astro Note
2024 turned out to be a banner year for Rumiko Takahashi’s older works making their way back to modern screens, and one of those entries wasn’t even hers.
Astro Note is an overt homage to Takahashi’s less-famous romcom Maison Ikkoku, which ran parallel to Urusei Yatsura for most of the latter’s run. Like Ikkoku, Astro Note follows a down-on-his-luck young man living in a boarding house full of bizarre miscreants who only stays because the manager is super pretty. Unlike Ikkoku, and unbeknownst to our protagonist, said manager is actually an alien who is practically turning the house over to find a secret alien MacGuffin.
This show looks lovely and has a delightful cast and some surprisingly moving subplots, but it’s nothing too special otherwise. There are some fun creative flourishes here and there, like the alien stuff shown in flashback being made to look like an older space opera anime, but aside from a very fun turn near the end of the season, Astro Note rarely rises above the level of simply “pleasant.” And that’s fine, but it doesn’t quite live up to the material it’s aping, and what we’ve ended up with is just a nice distraction.
I’m so glad I finally decided to read Maison Ikkoku though.
31. Shangri-La Frontier, second cour
It’s been a running joke for me that the more I watch Shangri-La Frontier, the less I’m sure whether I like it or not, and now with 25 episodes in the tank, I’m less sure than ever. The back half of the debut season improved on a few of the things that annoyed me about its first cour by focusing more on the high-quality action and introducing minor stakes to the proceedings, and then everything else surrounding it made it feel no less like I’m just watching a guy playing a goddamn video game, and the stakes still mostly seem to amount to "he wants to be good at it."
You may notice that I didn’t include the second season in this review, and that’s because I flat-out didn’t care to pick it back up. I’d been busy during the fall season and continuing a show I didn’t enjoy that much just wasn’t a high priority. It’s continuing into January, so there’s time to catch it while it airs, but I’m still not in any hurry.
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How do you feel/think about euthanasia as an option provided by medical care for mentally ill or disabled people?
As much as I want to support bodily autonomy in an absolute way and think ultimately it’s a persons choice whether they want to live (i also have first hand experience with the “care” after suicide attempts, which is punishment, not care) and comfortable effective options should be available for that. it also is deeply, deeply upsetting to me, as someone who probably would have chosen to die years ago but found out i want to live — and infuriating, since they make it so fucking hard for disabled people to live, i don’t think making it easier for us to die is the answer.
being disabled feels like a death march from the start. we are isolated, have very little community, were tortured, neglected until we want to die. then it’s like “ok if that’s what you really want :)” as if that wasn’t the plan from the start? it’s just eugenics. not even with extra steps. but they make it think it’s our idea.
how would you reconcile these 2 ideas in like, a grounded materialist kind of way ? if that makes sense. or whatever i am asking your opinion
i actually answered this before but now i can't find it. i agree with everything you've said about the potentially eugenic function of physician-assisted suicide under capitalism; however, i think the problem is the capitalist context and its attendant ableism, not the PAS itself. people will and do kill themselves regardless of the legality, and i believe it's important to offer them as painless and controlled a method as possible, while simultaneously toppling the capitalist ableism that makes this fraught from a disability justice perspective. since we are in the context we are in currently, for now i do also support laws forbidding PAS from being suggested to patients (ie, they must be the ones to bring it up and pursue it) and i think there are ways to build in some checkpoints to the system without excessively restricting people's ability to end their lives. but i do not support making suicide illegal, whether by physician or otherwise.
incidentally, this would also be an issue where you can see how the biopolitical remits to make live and to let die exist coterminously to one another: though the state is more than happy to let disabled people die on the grounds that it views them as economic liabilities, legalising suicide is still not exactly a slam-dunk from its perspective because in general its interest also lies in promoting the continued existence of its healthy [wealthy/white/abled] labouring population. this is the actual material reason why in most jurisdictions PAS is still strenuously objected to by openly ableist, otherwise eugenically motivated reactionaries, and why it's often proposed only for terminally ill patients or with other such extremely narrow eligibility criteria.
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If it's not too much trouble, could you share how you write your first drafts/outlines for your stories/fics?
You seem to have so many fascinating ideas, and you manage to word them in ways that almost seem cinematic and summarize your plots so efficiently. So, as someone struggling to summarize all my ideas into an outline to begin writing my stories, I wanted to ask you if you had any tips on that particular issue?
I will admit that I do have a peculiar work ethic when it comes to typing up outlines for my stories, but I find it's something that helps me more than just typing up a list of bullet points on what happens in a scene. I will also add an example from the current Batfam fic I am working on to better show you what I mean, but first some theory:
When I write a first draft/outline, I write it in the format of a movie script.
Writing outlines in the form of a movie script is incredibly effective because it forces you to focus on showing, not telling, by emphasizing visuals and action.
It tightens dialogue, ensuring every line has impact, while also honing scene structure and pacing. Script format reveals character through behavior and subtext, making emotional undercurrents clear without relying on exposition.
It drives conflict through concise, tension-filled dialogue and helps you create scenes with immediate emotional impact.
By stripping away unnecessary details, scriptwriting makes storytelling efficient, clear, and easy to visualize, naturally sharpening your narrative and maintaining momentum.
As an example, I offer you an outline written like this from a fic that I am currently writing:
EXT. JASON TODD'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
The sky opens up, rain pouring in sheets. TIM DRAKE stands outside a rundown apartment building, shivering as the cold bites at him. His clothes are soaked, clinging uncomfortably to his skin. He takes a deep breath, his body shaking, his eyes locked on the chipped, weathered door in front of him.
The door swings open.
JASON TODD stands there, casually leaning against the frame. A cigarette hangs loosely between his lips, smoke curling up around his face. His emerald green eyes take in Tim’s drenched, disheveled appearance. A beat passes, then Jason blows a cloud of smoke directly into Tim’s face. Tim coughs, looking irritated but unsurprised.
JASON (deadpan) “You look like shit.”
Tim laughs bitterly, tugging at his soaked clothes, trying to pull them away from his skin. The wet fabric clings to him, suffocating. His frustration is evident.
TIM (mutters) “Thanks. Are you gonna let me in?”
Jason smirks, flicking the ash from his cigarette onto the ground, eyes sharp as they study Tim. He leans against the doorframe, casual but predatory.
JASON (mocking) “Let me guess—His Highness finally replaced you?”
Tim barely flinches, but Jason notices. He always notices. Those green eyes catch every small twitch of vulnerability, every crack in Tim’s resolve. Jason grins, and it’s infuriating—like he’s been waiting for this moment.
Jason takes another slow drag of his cigarette, turning his head to exhale away from Tim. His voice drips with sarcastic sympathy.
JASON “Finally threw you away, huh? Gotta make room for the new, shiny model in his collection?”
Tim's shoulders hunch, his face contorting into a mix of hurt and frustration. Jason’s words hit too close to home, and that self-satisfied grin plastered on Jason’s face only makes it worse. The unspoken ‘I told you this would happen’ lingers in the air between them like a challenge.
TIM (hissing through clenched teeth) “Just let me in, asshole.”
Jason flicks his cigarette to the ground, crushing it under his boot. He steps aside, the grin still lingering, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes—something unspoken.
Tim hesitates for only a moment before stepping inside.
And Cut!
Now, you have a wonderful and imaginative draft to work off of. It does take a bit of getting used to, but thinking of your writing as establishing shots in a movie generally helps with getting into the flow of what you are writing.
#batman#batfamily#jason todd#tim drake#writing#author#creative writing#on writing#writing tips#writing advice#asks#aria rambles again
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