#even tho he and his boyfriend could not actually get married or any sort of civil engagement/binding that would be legally binding
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can we really? because that's not been my experience in this fandom.
western fandom has a consistent problem in overriding other cultures with their own. emphasis on western holidays/traditions, western folklore/stories, western customs, the specific way western cultures engage with queer topics/politics. this happens constantly for all eastern media, but to me it's always seemed particularly egregious for Thai media and esp Thai bl (tbf, this is potentially because it's one of my bigger online spaces while also not being a big space so it's just what I'm seeing more of, but it is so bad). people often push back with either "it's just a joke" or "you can't expect everyone to just know everything about [other culture] just for fanfic/fandom," except that only applies when people have made the effort to learn about that culture. it's not an excuse to ignore it completely.
and what's so mind-boggling to me about moonlight chicken in particular is the constant sectioning of Jim, Wen, and Li Ming into "different generations of queer." They aren't! Jim was running a restaurant while happily in an open queer relationship with his boyfriend, yet the fucking number of times I've had to see "lol internalized homophobia" (do you guys know what internalized homophobia means) or "he's from a different generation of queer where theyre resigned to being queer" (fucking WHAT?!) posts is overwhelming huge to the number of times I've seen posts that acknowledge or engage with moonlight chickens extremely pointed narrative that social acceptance is not enough when the law does not protect queer people's rights and what happened to Jim can still happen to Wen, still happen to Li Ming. (I have seen. 2 posts that engage with it. one of which was mine. I blocked the tag for a good 8 months because it was so overwhelmingly "lol internalized homophobia" posts.)
I genuinely don't mean this comment directly to you. I don't mean this as a "no fun allowed" comment either, but Thai bl fandom, moonlight chicken fandom esp, is so. bad. about ignoring the heavily Thai cultural elements of its narrative that none of the jokes are funny in the larger fandom context.
its so weird seeing posts that mock uncle jim for worrying about li ming's queerness as though his dead boyfriend's parents (legally) stealing his entire life savings and leaving him to manage a restaurant business specifically because gay couples aren't legally recognized as couples wasn't what put him in a cycle of crushing debt and endless poverty in the first place
#moonlight chicken#again don't mean this at this tagger specifically#they just managed to hit a hot button of mine#theres a heavily prevalent attitude that its okay to skip learning about another culture because 'its just fandom'/'im doing this for free'#you know whats also free people!#MAKING A FUCKING EFFORT#i just.#moonlight chicken puts so much care and thought and very personal emotion into the struggles of being queer and of being impoverished#and particularly in how those issues compound#jim and his sister only had each other and ran away looking for better opportunities#jim's only family relationship was strained by his queerness#jim chose his queer happiness and lived a fulfilling life openly with his boyfriend including acting married (shared business shared home)#even tho he and his boyfriend could not actually get married or any sort of civil engagement/binding that would be legally binding#and because this binding was not legal. when his boyfriend was not only revealed to have an ENTIRELY SEPARATE SECRET LIFE and then DIED#before jim could have any proper confrontation with him (and thereby also have a chance to sort out/separate his personal affairs)#which then enabled his boyfriends parents to take *everything* from him#they ~deigned~ to leave him a business even tho they removed all of his previous gains which are *super fucking needed* in that business#and like. this isn't actually a thai thing. this is a very very VERY common queer narrative. its a large part of why queer marriage was#the centralized issue/banner for queer rights. recognizing queer unions as *legal* unions is a Big Fucking Deal#western nations have not recognized queer marriage rights until pretty recently. US's national legalization of it is less than 10 years old#this is still pretty new and it only happened because of all the '''''old'''''' queers online spaces pretend dont exist. the loud and proud#ones who fought bloodily for these rights. and. a LOT of queer thai directors have been discussing how social acceptance is not enough#because thailand has a queer friendly face via media but absolutely none of the legislature protecting queer rights#the way western fandoms interact with thai bl ignores their own queer history and thailands current queer culture in favor of their own#personal distorted reality where only under 20s (MAYBE 25s if theyre feeling generous) have fought for and openly accepted queerness.#its dismissive and infuriating and so many other things. the *relentless* jokes and discussions of jim being a ~queer elder~ (he's not)#and at the very least careless and thoughtless flattening of his internalized homophobia (and. he doesnt really have that. but i digress)#its just not funny. at what point are the jokes jokes and at what point do the jokes become harmful ignorance#this is a problem in a lot of thai bl and asian bl media overall.#but this fandom in particular is *so* bad about it
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Old man yaoi old man yaoi old man yaoi
Widow / Widower dating again is my favorite romance trop it's underrated
Zeff sometimes likes to deliver his favorite customer's food. Red hair pirates crew is one of them. Zeff personally makes yasopp's dish and always leaves a note in his bento box.
They don't really have the time to actually date. most of their dates were just yasopp helping zeff buy materials for the baratie. Just two of them carrying meat and produce while holding hands.
When the restaurant was closed zeff let yasopp cook with him. He knows the basics but he knows how to follow directions so their meals are pretty good. They usually eat alone while everyone is asleep or doing whatever.
Zeff's love language is cooking and while yasopp is gifts. He would buy things like skillets and wooden spoons if he's on a different island with him crew he'd buy different spices and herbs for his kitchen. He also bought a new peg leg for their one year anniversary.
Red hair pirates like to tease yasopp when ever he comes back from a date or a 'sleep over '. He usually yells at them especially shanks, man is sleeping with a clown and he thinks he has room to speak.
PDA is little to none. They just aren't into it the closest thing they do is hand holding the maybe a kiss on cheek and peck on the lips. In private though yasopp is being held and being smothered with affection. Yasopp doesn't use pet names but zeff calls him melon sometimes.
Yasopp talks about Banchina a lot. His good memories, his bad memories, his regrets and his mistakes. He still misses her zeff knows that and let's him express that without any jealousy or ill feelings
Sanji knows about their relationship when he came to visit he snuck into his dad's bedroom too sleal back a pack of cigarettes only to his boyfriend's dad sleeping in his bed. There were a lot of questions and a lot of profanities after
Usopp doesn't know about them. Yasopp just got used to seeing his son he's not ready to talk about his love life or his sexuality. Sanji respected his request but he still doesn't like the relationship.
Their relationship is not serious serious they ain't getting married and they usually don't see each other for months. They're not really monogamous either they could one day live together and live a quiet life or they could never see each other again and they'd be ok with that as well (mostly zeff he'd be ok Yasopp tho would be devastated)
YAY THE SANUSO FOR OLD PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is,,, Really cute. They're not something serious but they enjoy being together. Yasopp doubts he'll ever feel what he felt for his wife again but he likes Zeff's company and both Usopp and Shanks wouldn't stop telling him to enjoy life as much as he can so,, And Zeff is so busy he doesn't even have the time for a real relationship, but every time Yasopp appears he makes time for him. It makes them feel young.
Okay, but imagine Sanji knowing and wanting to tell Usopp (of course) but yeah, Yasopp tells him he's not ready yet yadda yadda. And Sanji is DYING. Usually, Sanji is good at keeping secrets. If somebody does not want him to tell something to others, he just won't. But do you know how hard it is to keep stuff from your boyfriend? I would die. And it's not even that he feels guilty for that or feels the responsibility of telling him. No. He just wants to complain about their dads being kind of, sort of together. And maybe not even complain, just talk about it. He's so used to telling Usopp everything that now this just feels wrong. He's having an awful time. But actually, I think Usopp would find out somehow. Yasopp doesn't know he knows and Usopp lets him live like that until he's ready to tell him himself. And also he uses that to drive Sanji crazy because it's funny..
#this is increidble thank you#y'all keep talking about this ship so much idk what to call it#is it even worth it to put a name to it idk but it's there it exists#and i really like it as a concept they are cute#also sanji is always suffering in these and i love it#one piece#yasopp#red leg zeff#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso
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From an actually good question posted on Reddit, here’s how I think the Stranger Things grandparents are:
Joyce: I think she had low-ish-income parents who were good people with good values, loved her and fulfilled her basic needs (fed, roof over her head, clothes, school), but for some reason couldn’t take care of her or guide her much. Maybe they had problems with drugs or alcohol, or maybe they were old and frail (or her grandparents because her bio parents weren’t in the picture), or had some illness. That made her driven, self-reliant, but also drove her to make some bad decisions. However, because she remembered what actual love looked like, she was able to correct course and protect her kids. Probably dead by the time Jonathan was born.
Hopper: I’d say he grew up in a non-abusive, but strict, home, with a father who valued honor and war and stuff. I imagine his mom was a little homemaker lady who baked cookies and loved him a lot, but who also instilled the fear of God in him and in dad. Basically a “men rule the world and women rule the home” type of family (which is actually a super hyper traditional mindset).
Lonnie: Could have been literally any kind of parents, because his fucked-up-ness seems entirely like a Lonnie problem. He could’ve had the worst or the best parents in the world and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Maybe he killed them for the insurance and made it look like an accident.
Karen: She was super popular in school, so her parents must have been at least middle class, the picture of a perfect 50s marriage and active in the church. Not rich tho, so they encouraged her to latch on to her older boyfriend from a good family for dear life to remain financially stable.
Ted: Likewise, except I imagine his parents were slightly more affluent than Karen’s. I imagine they were the pronto-Ted and Karen and Ted was a proto-Mike as a kid, until life and depression beat every ounce of joy and personality out of him.
Sue Sinclair: She most likely had loving, strategic parents most likely went ABOVE AND BEYOND to give her EVERY. TOOL. at their disposal so she could have the middle class life she ended up enjoying, keeping in mind that she grew up as a black girl during Jim Crow. In Lucas on the Line Lucas says his dad met his mom when she was in typing school or working as a typist. Her parents probably made sacrifices so she (and her siblings, if any) could have a higher education. They couldn’t afford to make a single wrong choice or even to let her become a homemaker and depend on a man.
Charles Sinclair: We know what his white foster parents were like: assholes. He fled out of there the second he was allowed to (or had to) and probably went immediately to the military recruiter. That crucial decision made the difference between a life of poverty and the comfortable life he ended up having.
Claudia Henderson: Most likely loving, reasonably progressive parents who encouraged her to get some sort of higher education or to work. I think she has only known healthy relationships.
Mr. Henderson: no idea, but judging by Dustin and Claudia’s personalities, he was probably a loving, caring husband and father who died (and most likely left them a pension or life insurance). Maybe that means his own parents were ok people.
Susan Hargrove: Probably very traditional parents who taught her that women should be seen and not heard, or at least that being a housewife was her only alternative for a decent life. Maybe she rebelled against her parents by choosing “love” instead of convenience, and so ended up dating and/or marrying a long line of losers and abusers. Her parents gave her zero tools at all for her own life so she depended on whatever dude entered her and Max’s lives.
Mr. Mayfield: described in Runaway Max as a smart but unmotivated and undisciplined man who commits petty crime, he probably comes from a long line of petty criminals who don’t feel any drive to better themselves, not even for those they supposedly love.
Neil Hargrove: Most likely raised in an abusive home and grew up to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.
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Aph America head-cannons
when someone goes on a long trip Alfred gets worried and lonely so whenever they come back he does the flappy hands stim, squeals, and tackles them in a hug, sometimes this even happens at meetings and arthur used to experience this a lot whenever he came back home from a long trip at sea. all of Alfred's friends have experienced this though Alfred has learned to avoid tackling certain friends (mainly Kiku and Gilbert ) for their health.
Alfred was especially happy when mattie got independence and he saw him again.
also for my fellow rusame shippers: he used to have to hold it in til they weee alone but after everyone found out about them dating Alfred greeted him this way every time ( Francis finds it adorable how Alfred slowly became more gentle with his tackle hugs to make sure he didn’t further damage Ivan’s back.
I also have a headcannon that every state and region is personified which means
A. Alfred takes care of 50 dumbasses ( most of which are children).
B. Alaska is alive and is Russia and Americas daughter. ( maybe because they were doing some sort of genetics experiment idk they’re scientists too btw)
also they probably worked out a good custody thing because Alfred knew what it was like to be separated from his family and Russia wanted her to have a nice upbringing so they both made a deal that they can visit each other ( frequently in Alfred country because unbeknownst to Ivan’s gov him and Alfred filled out marriage forms years ago so he can stay as long as he likes) ( though they plan to be officially married with a ceremony and stuff when gay marriage is legalized in russia…. alfred knows how hard ivan is working for it).
C. Alaska totally developed this habit from Alfred and now Russia gets tackle hugs from both ( he is actually very pleased with this outcome, he will never turn down affection and always enjoys cuddles and returning affection with teddy bear hugs and cuddles) ( he also noticed that Alfred like being picked up so whenever he sees him he will always make sure to pick him up whether it is bridal style, piggyback, or picking him up by his waist and twirling him )
and one final head cannon :
alfred is really good at dancing , name any dance from around the world, he knows it; same goes for Ivan. it is because of this that a-lot of their date nights end in them dancing on the kitchen , Alfred’s head tucked into Ivan’s neck or chest and Ivan’s head on Alfred’s, or at a club showing up professional dancers with crazy tricks , or Alfred dancing in drag wearing impossibly high heels, and on one memorable occasion when Alfred was very drunk, quite the impressive pole dancing performance ( tho Ivan was tempted, he took care of his drunk boyfriend and they had fun in the morning when he could fully consent)
#aph america#aph alfred#aph rusame#aph russia#alfred jones#rusame#rusame hetalia#aph alfred f jones#hetalia#aph england#aph canada#aph france#aph gilbert#aph hetalia#aph states#aph japan#hetalia headcanons#rusame headcannon#headcannons
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I'm kinda in the mood for you to ramble about racer harry and yn's early days of their relationship like maybe the first time YN stayed at his home and he's probably kind of excited about the fact that the night doesn't have to end and he just knows he wants this for the rest of his life
- 🍓
Ugh you know I love to ramble
I feel like the first time she got the opportunity to stay at his house he was still in a tiny flat
And she was half shocked bc she expected him to have some big house that was way too big for just him, all extra with shitty decorating he payed someone to do
But when she stayed over his flat was pretty small, two bedroom max but I’m thinking just a normal one bedroom, studio, something like that
And it was very homey, photos of him and his friends/family tacked up on the fridge, maybe a couple photos of him and his sister or him and his mom in frames in random spots like the living room or in the kitchen
It was obviously lived in, pillows still flat from when he was sitting on them by accident or using them and he hadn’t bothered to prop them back up, blankets still out, a couple pairs of socks still at the edge of his bed with other random things
And he’s a little nervous bc he knows he’s kind of messy and his flat is kind of small so once she’s in and gets a look around she’s like “it’s so cute :( all the photos of your friends are adorable. But I can definitely help with some tidying… maybe decor?”
And he lets her help him out with some small decorations to make his home feel more his home when he does get the chance to be at his flat
But the first night she stayed I feel like they stayed up all night together
Like middle school girls having a slumber party
Sitting and talking, getting to know every single thing about each other over a stack of late night pancakes or shitty takeout from across the street
And they are both so tired but they have to finish a shitty movie they started watching but it was more background noise because they were talking
And Harry is trying to fight his sleep so he can stay and listen to her talk about her best friend in 6th grade and how they fell out and how she’s still angry at her for it even tho she knows it’s dramatic
And I feel like Harry knew that night that he wanted to marry her
They definitely fall asleep on the couch together with the TV still on and all the lights still on
I think that she would stay at his apartment a lot when he was away if she couldn’t go to races for some odd reason
And she would so be that girlfriend who cleans his whole apartment for him, does his laundry and everything
And not bc she felt like she needed to or he expected that but bc the mess either drove her crazy or she just wanted to
The thought of them being girlfriend and boyfriend is so cute
I think bc they moved so fast, I think it was like a year after they met they got married (?) don’t quote me on that I need to go back and check
They were (and definitely still are) that couple that their families always talk about
Like all eyes on them as soon as they walk into any family function because they were always all lovey dovey and the family was waiting for some sort of news, engagement, a baby, another baby… another baby…. Now another baby 😭
And once little Beau came Harry definitely stopped jumping at any chance he could do to something for racing weather that be a random photoshoot for a magazine or something or some interview, he slowed a little when he got with y/n but she came to everything so he didn’t have to be home 24/7 just to spend time with her
But once Beau got there he stopped doing so much and started taking actual breaks once the season was over when usually once the season was over he would do a bunch of interviews and this and that
But now that he had his first baby he wanted to be there every step of the way, even once he found out y/n was pregnant
He wanted to be there for every appointment, every little milestone in her pregnancy, being able to help paint the nursery and set up the crib the pick decorations, and baby clothes, and help secretly plan a baby shower
And he would so very proudly show little Beau off the first race back
He was the attraction to the team, he was the young, hot, new racer, and he was damn good too- the best racer the team has ever had, so he new the camera was focused on him any change it got so he always got to show Beau off once he jumped out of the car, grabbing the little boy and rubbing over y/n’s baby bump, taking him up there with him while he retrieves his first place trophy
Okay I’m kind of blanking
But girlfriend and boyfriend racer harry and y/n are so cute 😢
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My (likely) unpopular opnions on Mo Dao Zu Shi.
So I finished the novel, and I'll be only talking about the novel and the novel alone, not taking into consideration any of the other iterations, simply because I didn't finish any of them. This is also just my opinion and because I can't keep my thoughts to myself, so try to not take it too seriously.
!ALSO HAS SPOILERS!
1- Jin Guangyao is my favourite and I love him, I don't care what anyone has to say. I believe almost everything he said in the Guanyin temple, maybe aside from whether his child was conceived before or after he married Qin Su. But I'm inclined to believe him on that too rather than to doubt, because he really didn't seem like he liked causing harm unless he saw it as strictly necessary.
2- That said, that's mostly just going by the book. Idk how canon we're supposed to take the extras to be, but if they're indeed meant to be canon, the extra by the name of "Villainous Friend" kind of makes my love for him waver a bit. But I understand his position, he was ordered by his dad, so refusing or leaving the job half done would probably be bad for him. But dude... He could have spared some mercy for the children (but maybe that'd be a bad idea, having living proof that a grudge fuels insanity and bloodlust sitting right beside him in the form of Xue Yang. So he probably did it as insurance).
3- I still love him tho. And I still love XiYao and want a lot of fix-it fics now :((
4- Jin Guanshan died the death he deserved and A-Yao was 100% right to do it. Everyone that was like "but he was your father" in the novel can go suck a dick cause it's easy judging when you're not in his position. That goes for everything he does actually.
5- I was a bit confused about Xue Yang's end? Like did he die or not? Cause it seemed like he just lost his arm and was a bit hurt and then was swept away. If he didn't die what happened to him? We never get a follow up on that. Did I read it wrong or did he really just got yeeted out of the story never to be seen again? Idk seemed a bit weird.
5.5- I also love Yi City arc, but it makes me a bit confused on what was the point of it? It seems like it could have been skipped entirely and not much would have changed.
6- I'm not entirely sure that Wei Wuxian was actually gay or even bi for LWJ in his first life. You can boo me all you want, but I don't think there's enough information to draw a conclusion here. He could have just been really determined to bother Lan Wangji and make friends with him just because he posed a challenge, given he got rejected all the time. It wasn't really too different from his behaviour with MianMian. Just saying, reincarnation could have very well made him sort of gay, or well gayER.
7- Zizhen didn't have enough scenes, he should have appeared more and have been on those night hunts in the extras.
8- Talking about the juniors, I know a lot of people ship Jin Ling with Sizhui, and a lot of people ship Sizhui and Jinyi, and then Jinyi with Jin Ling. I say we forgo that and just throw my boy Zizhen in the mix and make them all date together. A couple of four. This way everyone gets 3 cute boyfriends. No need to choose.
9- Some of y'all be acting like the incense burner chapters killed your dog and shot your parents. Chill out. They're intense and not everyone's cup of tea, but in their essence there's nothing really wrong with them. It's clearly just two married people who trust each other pushing the bounds of their fantasies and kinks IN THEIR FUCKING DREAMS! And it isn't like they aren't both into what they're doing. Wei Wuxian is more than enthusiastic. There is like one little mishap that happens at the end of the last chapter, a matter of miscommunication and kink-negotiation mishandling, but it's solved right after it happens! Calling it true non-con is a stretch and a bit unforgiving don't you think?
10- I still don't get why Yanli was at Nightless City. She had abstained from pretty much being part of anything like that the whole book. Why all of a sudden go to Nightless City? What could she have done there? Seems a bit convenient.
11- Talking about convenient, what was that throw away line on the explanation of how Wei Wuxian started cultivating the demonic path? He just found a book???? Conveniently like that? No further explanation needed? What?
12- Nie Minjue was a self-righteous hypocritical asshole.
13- Nie Huaisang is not that much better than Jin Guangyao. He used people and did terrible things, even willing to sacrifice teenagers, just to achieve his goal.
14- There is no justice in this book. Not really. Everyone does selfish things (maybe aside from Lan Xichen, the saint) to achieve their own goals and always think themselves to be justified in their actions. To only see Jin Guangyao's crimes as bad is to ignore that everyone did bad, selfish, detrimental things. The people that got a happy ending or a bad ending didn't get them because they deserved it or due to justice. They just got it. Like Xue Yang says "there's no why, sometimes things just happen".
15- Chengmei is far too cute of a name for Xue Yang.
16- Everyone shits on Jin Guangyao, but he was legitimately a good chief cultivator. While the sects generally saw themselves as above helping on insignificant matters, he went and made projects to help the common people. He also worked hard to maintain his sect in line with an ideal of nobleness and discipline as shown by how Jin Ling says in the extras that when he was sect leader no one would be so quick to take a bribe.
17- A-Yao was ambitious, clever, hard working and yes he did love people too. He's not just bad. He had all the odds stacked against him, and even so, at least momentarily, he overcame all of it. Whether his means were justified or not is another story entirely.
18- Wei Wuxian wasn't really a great caretaker of A-Yuan. He was kind of mean and careless. He obviously didn't do it with ill intention, but he's just not the best baby sitter.
19- I don't hate Jiang Cheng for his mean remarks and hatred for Wei Wuxian and his relationship with Lan Wangji. He's just kind of stupid and emotionally constipated. He's not bad, he's just a bit ignorant. And you have to remember that these are their society's norms. He's acting in line with what he was taught.
20- Wen Qing had such a minor role in the story overall. She should have been used more.
21- Wei Wuxian is many times kind of mean to Wen Ning even tho he's so selfless and doing everything he can to protect and respect him. I don't mean it all the time, but he could be kinder to him. Wen Ning in general always gets the short end of the stick and the worse treatment undeservedly.
22- Gusu Lan could have held a little secret cerimony to officially marry wangxian and officially accepted them as cultivation partners. It would have been specially meaningful because Lan Qiren would have sort of being communicating that his Nephew's happiness holds more value to him than his hatred for Wei Wuxian and the upkeeping of sect rules and appearances. I know it's unrealistic but man it would've been nice to see.
That's it. And yea I know this is mostly me just trying to defend my A-Yao, but I regret nothing. Y'all can throw stones and boo, be my guest. This is just my opinion anyway, so you don't have to take it seriously or give a crap about it.
#mo dao su zhi#mdzs#mxtx#mo xiang tong xiu#mxtx novels#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the grandmaster of diabolism#the founder of diabolism#the founder of demonic cultivation#wangxian#xiyao#jin Guangyao#lan wangji#weiwuxian#CQL#chen qing ling#the untamed#xue yang#juniors mdzs#polyamourous#poly relationship#spoilers#lan qiren#nie huaisang#nie mingjue#wen ning#wen qing#wwx x lwj#jiang cheng#incense burner chapters
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I am genuinely asking this question and don’t want you to take it in any wrong way shape or form seeing as though u are one of my fav writers.
Why do u write fics even though u have a boyfriend? Usually people who write fics are people who don’t have a significant other and they write fics to express their “dream guy”. Like me personally, I read fics because I don’t have a boyfriend because my lifestyle doesn’t fit in a significant other as of right now. BUT when I do get one I’m gonna stop reading them, since I’ll have an actual boyfriend who I can do things with. Not a fake character who lives in my mind. Does ur boyfriend know u write fics? How does he feel about it? I just want to understand why you write fics even tho u have a real person who u could do everything u write about with. 
I think you’re misunderstanding my relationship with writing and fictional characters and that’s ok but I do want to explain this and hope that it makes sense!
I think you can have a partner and can and should still read and/or write fanfics. Many fanfic authors that I know as well as published authors are married or in relationships!
Your relationship with fanfics tends to change a bit when you’re in a relationship I feel, at least for me, like yes you have an actual person you can do all the things in fanfic with, and you do, I do! But is it not still fun to read fanfic or any sort of other novel? It is, cause that fictional character in your head isn’t really how it is anymore, it’s just something you enjoy reading now for the story and the thrill if that makes sense
The thing is I do also do everything I write about with my boyfriend, what I write is inspired by my own personal experiences in my relationship with him not inspired by a fantasy I have with Steve Rogers or something, it’s directly from a night that me and my bf fucked or a conversation we had or how he makes me feel!
I love to write and my drive to write is partly to explore my own fantasies (that I also tell and do with my bf) as well as for the black girls and other woc out there that haven’t ever really got the chance to see themselves in a fanfic, that’s why I write, to provide others with a chance to feel seen and loved and entertained and because it’s been a hobby of mine for a long time long before I was ever getting into relationships with anyone
I’m not going to stop doing a hobby that I love bc I have a significant other, because the fictional characters or people I write about are just that for me, fictional! I’m not fantasizing about them when I’m with my bf or place them over him, my bf is at the center of my attraction and thoughts and fantasies, writing is just my outlet to share that and express it and make my healthy experiences accessible to everyone just with different characters!
My boyfriend knows I write fics, he has since we first started dating and isn’t bothered at all by it bc he isn’t insecure about that particular thing or severely controlling and he trusts me and knows I’m not replacing him with any fictional character, like trust me he knowssss I’m all his and don’t every want to be or think of anyone else and he supports my writing, he asks what I’m writing often and has read my fics before and asks if he can see what I’m working on bc it isn’t an issue for us, he’s a genuinely supportive s/o about my hobbies as I am with his!
He knows it’s a hobby of mine and many of the scenarios sfw and nsfw are directly inspired by interactions and things I have done with my bf, like literally a lotttt of my smut is exactly what I do with my bf in the sheets and bc I enjoyed it so much I add parts of it to my writing to show that this is what sex can be like or this can be hot or something someone else might also be into and don’t need to feel ashamed about, I write to express how healthy relationships should be bc I am in one!
It’s your personal choice not to read or write fics once you enter a relationship, there’s nothing wrong with not doing that anymore and also continuing to do so but I also want to express concern that reading or writing fanfic or romance novels isn’t something that should make or break a relationship and if your s/o demands that you not do that or any other hobby you may have I would strongly urge you to really have a discussion about insecurities and trust with that person and a discussion with yourself as well as them if it’s a healthy relationship to begin with and if it’s healthy for you to quit reading or doing something that is harmless (unless you are unable to separate fictional characters from irl relationships) bc someone else is uncomfortable or doesn’t trust you which is an issue within themselves that they need to work on
I just want to make sure you make that choice for yourself and not bc you’re trying to appease a potential partner and suppress parts of yourself and normal healthy parts of being human just to not make things “difficult” or “weird” because being in the relationship I’m in has shown me that there isn’t a reason why I shouldn’t continue to write if it makes me happy and the support I receive from my bf is how all relationships should be regarding fanfic and hobbies. There’s definitely a balance you have to find but that’s like with anything in a relationship
Bottom line is that my partner is proud of me for all my works and frequently lets me know that he loves my writing and thinks it’s cool that I write, is always telling me to get published one day and I’m incredibly happy with him and because of that my writing is inspired by my love for him and how I feel relationships should be for everyone 💖
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❛ haikyuu sibling series hcs - general - part 1 ❜
「 includes : kuroo, matsukawa, oikawa, and suna 」
kuroo tetsurō
→ his parents got divorced at a young age and you can’t tell me otherwise
→ but before they did, himself and his older sister were close
→ she wasn’t as boisterous as him but she had a bit of a playful streak in her too
→ would absolutely go along with his scheming pranks on their parents and relatives
→ shes the one who got him into taking academics seriously
→ he always thought his big sister was cool and seeing her studious trait, he decided he wanted to be like her too
→ she’d help him with his own homework after school even if he insisted he didn’t need her help
→ everytime he’d score highly on a test, his sister would be the first person he’d show his little gold stars too
→ her praise meant the absolute world to him because from a young age he looked up to her and seeked some sort of approval from her that he was on the right track
→ when the fighting between his parents got bad, big sister kuroo would always leave her door open for her little brother to retreat into her room
→ she would hush the crying and distract his young fragile state of mind and make sure she did everything she could to stop him from focusing on the shouting
→ stories, board games, colouring, big sister kuroo did it all with him to ensure his mind was occupied with something other than the arguing downstairs
→ she’s his hero even if he doesn’t know it at such a young age yet
→ shes the one who taught him the trick with sticking two pillows against his ears just in case there were some nights she wasn’t at home
→ “see tetsu! it’s like having your head buried by sheep!”
→ when their parents did eventually split, he was beyond devastated
→ his best friend was being taken from him and there was nothing he could do about it
→ pleaded his parents to let them stay together but alas they decided it just wasn’t possible
→ kuroo took a handful of years to fully get over the separation from his sibling
→ hence his shy tendancies and hesitation to trust others at a young age
→ even to this day, the pillow habit stays prominent in his sleeping habits
→ while he was no longer in contact with his sister, kuroo would always think of her first whenever he received good grades or test results
→ would think of her during volleyball games
→ a source of motivation would be to ask himself if maybe his sister were here, would he being doing enough to make her proud?
→ after every accomplishment, his sister would linger at the back of his head
→ even now everyday when he goes to work
→ he can only do his best and hope it would be enough to be ‘cool’ like he always thought his sister was
matsukawa issei
→ big brother mattsun 😼
→ growing up, he was so inclusive of his little siblings
→ he’d never tell his brother or sister to leave him alone or go away
→ mattsun was super considerate and laid back with his siblings
→ as long as they weren’t causing too much trouble, mattsun didn’t really care what they were doing
→ he played with them i know he did
→ hero’s and princesses? pirates? dragons and mermaids?
→ mattsuns played every single one of these and more
→ whenever his siblings would argue, they’d always argue over who gets mattsun on their side
→ whoever won him over was deemed the winner of whatever petty thing it was they were arguing about
→ this little shit played the fuck out of them 😹
→ “hm whoever gets me the leftover pasta from the fridge will get me on their side 😈”
→ “if you go empty the bin then i’ll be on your side.”
→ “issei that’s not fair! that’s your job!”
→ “is it? guess i have to join your sisters side then...”
→ “I’LL DO IT!”
→ makki woukd come over often and his brother and sister loved him
→ he was like mattsun but prettier and “less mean”
→ in fact, all the aoba johsai third years were popular with the matsukawa siblings
→ his little sister was ✨infactuated✨ with oikawa
→ oikawa was “her prince charming” according to her
→ “oi loser, since my sister likes you so much why don’t you babysit for me next week?”
→ “as if! i have better things to do any- -she likes me?! 🥺 yes of course i’ll babysit!”
→ his brother is the opposite tho haha
→ “stupid oikawa don’t come near my sister!”
→ little brother matsukawa was protective asf over his sister
→ would throw hands at the setters legs and waist
→ and you already know mattsun, makki and iwa are just gonna stand there and ignore it
→ all in all, mattsuns one of the best siblings
→ he looks out for his siblings but he’s not overbearing in the slightest
→ these days he often lets them visit him at work when he’s not as home as often
→ “whoever brings me lunch doesn’t get locked in the coffin room”
→ obviously his siblings are bigger now so they just roll their eyes and ignore him ahah
→ he’s still someone they know they can come to if they need to though
→ he’s a good big brother who will listen to them without judegement cause hey, he’s done some questionable things growing up too
oikawa tooru
→ “you’re not allowed to have a boyfriend because i said so! nobody’s good enough for you! 😠”
→ “tooru, i’m older than you 🧍🏻”
→ over protective asf over his sister
→ insults boys that try it on with her to their face 😹
→ “you don’t seriously think she’ll go for you when you look like that do you? 😹 next caller!”
→ shes constantly apologising for his rude ass behaviour 😩
→ he does often seek advice from her though
→ especially when he started garnering attention from girls himself
→ “hair swept to the left or right?”
→ “neither. both are ugly.”
→ yes queen humble him 😈
→ okay but she would actually help him though
→ shes act like shes doing him a huge favour but she secretly likes the fact he comes to her for advice and feedback
→ shopping trips
→ she picks out his clothes because let’s face it
→ he can’t be trusted to be left to his own devices
→ she nearly threw up when she saw the plaid shorts fit 😖
→ she also picked out his glasses too because again, he can’t be trusted to be left to his own devices
→ he hypes his sister tf up !!
→ especially after shes having boy troubles of her own
→ “whatever! he was a loser anyway nii-chan! he would’ve ruined all the family photos if you ever got married to him because he was so ugly! you’re way out of his league!”
→ third year oikawa says it’s on sight if any boy messes with his sister regardless of the fact she’s older than him
→ iwaizumi was rather fond of oikawa’s sister too
→ therefore, he’d automatically part of her body guarding system alongside tooru
→ growing up, iwaizumi was awkward around her
→ shes a pretty older girl of course he’s gonna feel pressured !!
→ she found it endearing though
→ and shes often thank him for looking out for her little brother and keeping him in line when she couldn’t
→ rip iwaizumi 😔✋the boy has turned bright red and doesn’t know what to say
→ these days he’s a-okay talking to her!
→ they both lovingly bully oikawa now
→ but back to the point of her helping him with girls
→ oikawa is not a fuckboy and you know why?
→ because his sister told him those boys are the worst !!
→ he is a respectful boy and his sister will make sure of that !!
→ when he did get his first girlfriend, she had to tell him all the things to do to help
→ clichè films were the wrong source according to her she called them cringey and stopped oikawa from leaving the house at 2am to throw rocks at his girlfriends window to confess his love
→ “tooru please tell me you’re not doing what i think you’re about to do”
→ oikawa with his bag full of small stones and a rose in his mouth : 😳🌹
→ his first break up was rough but big sister oikawa was his hype woman this time
→ “she knew what she was getting into when she asked you out. remember, she wanted you tooru and if she can’t remember that herself then she’s not worth it.”
→ big sister oikawa had his back 100% and vice versa
→ and even now, she’s cheering him on the loudest
→ her little brothers a little brat but he’s the brat she’s overwhelmingly proud of
suna rintarō
→ literally didn’t give a shit about his little sister for the longest time 😹
→ he knew it annoyed her when he didn’t pay attention so he did it just to test her limits at first
→ his parents scolded him time and time again and eventually he did start to acknowledge her
→ like mattsun, he’s laid back and not overly intrusive
→ but he is a little bit curious as to what’s going on in his little sisters life
→ “whos that? you’re not dating him are you? yikes.”
→ “rin? what do you mean ‘yikes’?!”
→ “he’s ugly.”
→ lowkey protective of his sister
→ he knows she can handle herself and whatnot but he still feels the need to look after her just a little
→ so if you’re a boy and you get on the wrong side of her i’m sorry
→ suna is pulling up with the miya’s
→ “oh? so you’re the little shit who thought you could mess with my sister?”
→ atsumu in towering over the boy next to suna : 😈
→ osamu towering over on the other side to suna : 🤨
→ suna : 😐
→ the boy : 😳
→ it’s always been like that though
→ in his own way, sunas always been there for his little sister whether he makes it known or not
→ “one day, yer sisters gonna be a pretty gal i can tell”
→ “i won’t hesitate to call child protection if you ever make a comment like that again 😐🔪”
→ “i-i was just tryin to be kind! it’s hard sometimes suna it’s hard! 😖”
→ his little sister will come to his games and he won’t care 😹
→ deadpan expression the whole time
→ she doesn’t care though because she’s not exactly thrilled to be there either
→ both siblings have their own interests and don’t tend to mix them
→ but he’ll still support her in whatever she wants to do and vice versa
→ but they prefer to do it from a distance
→ because i know suna only went to one of her ballet recitals and he didn’t even try to stop the strings of loud yawns the whole way through
→ the suna siblings remain hot and unbothered over everything
→ you could have beef with both siblings and neither of them are gonna give a fuck
→ but when you pick on little sister suna, rin is gonna give a fuck but he’ll be clever about it
→ easy going relationship
→ neither siblings are overly affectionate or overbearing but they’re both there for each other if needs be
→ they don’t talk about deep things and details together though
→ but they will slag other people off together 😹
→ if the suna siblings don’t like you i’m sorry
→ because both of them will come for your neck with no mercy and you’ll never know 😼
general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou
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ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE
#kuroo tetsuro#kuroo hcs#oikawa tooru#oikawa hcs#matsukawa issei#matsukawa hcs#suna rintaro#suna hcs#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#hq hcs#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu headcanons
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haru kato hcs
- what is it like to be dating haru kato?
omg excited about this cuz i want me some haru content. pretty boi needs tons of love and affection. we need more haru kato content. i demand it!
requested by @beef-tomatoes : can you do haru kato dating headcanons. here you have the frog man🐸 < |> /\ the frog man says: have a nice day💖😌✌
requests open
__
first things first - congrats on getting this man to be your boyfriend because boy oh boy you gonna get the best domestic life ever
haru kato is a simple man with a simple life who knows his responsibilities so expect perfect husbando and waifu qualities
cooking for you is his favorite thing to do. he loves being able to alleviate your stress, especially after a particularly troubling day at work/university
he loves it when you cook for him too. it makes him feel special and his heart just soars. this man will not leave the kitchen just so he can watch you working your magic with ingredients and spice while wearing that dumb dreamy face. he holds himself back from sliding behind you and embracing you because you look so good with an apron for the reason he doesn't want to distract you but most of the time he just does it because you're too cute
if you know how to cook, he'll give you tips here and there but will leave you to your cooking majority of the time
if you can't cook, expect a full blown cooking lesson from him because he said he won't be able to cook for you all the time and he'll be damned if you always order take out or buy those just microwave packages in convenient stores
if your cooking turned out good, haru will eat seconds and thirds, complimenting you every now and then after gulping down what he was chewing. will definitely ask you to cook more for him and if you can't, he'll brush it off saying maybe next time but internally he was pouty because he wants more. probably thinking of marrying you already
if your cooking turned out bad, he will tell you it could use a little more work, offer himself to help you, but he'll still eat it because you made it for him aww. still probably thinking of marrying you
dates with haru is sort of rare. crime doesn't sleep and nor does he so most of your dates are at his place - just watching a movie and eating whatever he cooked
he always has to have a hand on you or an arm over your shoulder. gotta make sure you're really there
but if he does have time, he will take you out on a simple date that benefits both of your interests. haru won't say but he'll always lean more in your interests in dates because he feels so bad for depriving you of his quality time. this is how he silently atones, plys he buys you small and thoughtful gifts
remember when i said crime doesn't sleep nor does he? well, haru gets tired often. it was natural because of his field of work. haru will hesitate to go to your place because he needs some loving and some caring but doesn't want to be a bother so he calls you to ask permission before going
will want to sleep with you once he gets there but you force him to eat because he needs to he healthy to continue being a detective. he will grumble while you make him food but his heart is soft that you think about his well being
"my girlfriend is best girl" he whispers in a slur, trying to keep himself from falling asleep in the dining room while eating
will drag you to your bed after eating and will pull you down with him on the bed. haru will have his arms draped around you and snuggle in your chest. he will let out a content sigh if you snuggle back and run your fingers through his hair
haru just want cuddles with his girlfriend after a hard day at work. spoil him please
haru will be happy if he wakes up and you're still in his arms but will scoff if you are not. haru will stand up no matter how tired he still is and drag you back to bed to continue your cuddle
tell me haru won't try pranking you and feeling bad after it
head pats while saying "sorry babe, i didn't mean to, i'm sorry, yes yes, i'll be a better boyfriend from now on. come here and give me a hug"
whenever you two bathe together, he loves it when you clean his back because he can feel the stress go bye bye with your soft fingers
he washes your hair and he sometimes tries to make stupid hairstyles with your lathered tresses and you'll always rate them
most of the times you take baths together, it is nonsexual. he just appreciates you being there
but haru will slip in a few rounds whenever you two feel like getting it on
soft dom but probs hiding a few kinks
forehead kisses is his favorite because he gets to see your happy face looking up at him whenever he pulls away
haru is definitely a tease whenever you try to kiss him - lips, cheeks, forehead, neck - you can't reach any of them even if you go on your tip toes because he's tall. he won't bend down so you can kiss him because you look so adorable trying so hard to give him love and affection
he'll probably be the one to kiss you after a few minutes of teasing. he can't help it. you look so cute
gah his heart is full
when haru gets jealous, he is irritated. he will come up to you, an annoyed glare on his face, and taking your hand.
haru goer grrr my baby but i won't hurt you or anything because my baby finds it bad but i'm warning you -
when you're the one who's jealous, he finds it amusing
he smothers his grin when you get adorably protective of him
he teases you about it but hugs you after to affirm that this man ain't going anywhere
laundry days are messy, messier than when the two of you have food fights
you two keep throwing drenched clothes or bubbles or water at one another
haru is merciless with laundry throwing fights
expect a shirt thrown swiftly at your face with a resounding SMACK
this boy ain't losin to laundry throwing fights
you always stop by the precint whenever you can just to visit haru
he used to hate it because his coworkers always flock around you whenever you come by but soon grew to love it because you seem to enjoy being around them and you gain nee friends
he'll talk you through his work process and he's very proud whenever you go all ooh ahh so cool because he has an ego and loves that you are interested in his work as much as he does to yours
he tries to be professional whenever at work but he'll sneak in a few kisses if he think nobody is looking. but not you tho, you kiss him whenever you want and wherever you want
someone is always looking so he gets teased quite a lot by his coworkers and he gets all blushy and tsundere aww
hugs with haru are always tight knit. the reason? because he loves holding you, that's literally it
did i mention piggy back rides? no? well, haru doesn't do them unless necessary like you're super tired or got a sprain but jump on his back and kiss him on top of his head and nyoom you are now on a piggy back ride
haru is a huge fan of discounts and coupons so you always have to help him find the best item there is that is discounted or you have coupons for
you gave him a small notebook to keep all his coupons and his face just goes (⊙o⊙)
hand holding in the market while shopping. he won't let you go until you're at the cashier because last time he let you get some items alone, he ended up going to the intercom to call for you
"y/n where are you? i just told you to get a soap and find me at the dairy section."
but he don't mind tho because it's a good excuse to keep you close to him
arguing over which product - any product at all - is better to buy. sorry to say this but haru wins all the time. you swear, this man has a sixth sense for which items to buy
arguments with haru is . . . well maybe that's for another time
but silly arguments with haru is common. fights over who gets to clean the dishes, who makes the bed, which movie or series is better, which cop movie superior, which food to eat, who is the big spoon - but they're all fun snd games
haru will make sure to win as the big spoon tho because again, he has a hidden ego and his heart swells when he sees how tiny you are compared to him
getting drunk with haru is always a rollercoaster. he's a rambling drunk? well, you're the agree with everything drunk
"the floor is too cold. why is it always cold? i just want warmth and peace" cue haru sliding on the floor with a red face because of the alcohol. he's very at ease with you so being stupid and childish is norm for him
"yes, yes, i agree, the floor is always cold. bad floor, you're making haru sad" then you slide with him on the floor
haru turns to you "you don't make me sad"
you turn to him "yes, i make you happy"
you two are just a pair of drunk lovebirds
patch him up when he gets hurt in his work
he won't feel much pain if it's you who's patching him up
he doesn't why but that's that
kiss his boo boos he likes them he's an actual bab for you
haru will always bring you to work/university. it doesn't matter if he is late as long as gets you there
actually it matters that he is late. he just never tells you so you won't tell him to stop. that's why once you're out of sight, after you exchange goodbyes snd kisses, you bet your ass he's speeding through the streets to get to the precint in time (got tickets from speeding but he hides them from you but you'll find out eventually lmao)
since he is a cop/detective, of course he had a gun. he won't bring it to your place but whenever you're at his place or at the precint, he'll allow you to hold it, with him supervising of course, and he'll probably teach you how to fire a gun in a range
will catch you whenever you suffer the recoil of pulling the trigger
will pull a cheesy line like "falling for me now, huh?"
when daisuke joins the precint, haru is less than thrilled
since you always visit him and he became partners with daisuke, that meant you have meet to this rich bastard
and he doesn't like it because
1) he's rich af
2) he's somewhat arrogant
3) he doesn't want to admit it but daisuke is handsome
he is 101% fuming when he sees you talking to daisuke than him. his mind reverts back to all those times you always talk to him in the precint when in reality you were just talking to daisuke for 3 minutes
haru is overdramatic and
insecure
he's scared that you'll leave him for daisuke
daisuke has everything. money, looks, fame - he can't even buy you something extravagant. he's still saving up for your birthday, doing overtime and stuff while still buying you small gifts when daisuke can just give you the whole world with a snap of his finger
it'll eat him up alive
he just wants to spend the rest of his life with you but maybe you'll be happier with daisuke?
when you learned this, you just burst out of tears because
this baby is sad and scared of losing you
so you did something to make him assured you only want him and planning to be with him always
haru has always insisted that you move in with him after a year of being together
and then you show up at his place with your stuff and saying "I'll grab more of my stuff tomorrow so help me move in"
haru has never been so happy and excited that he cooked a whole feast for the two of you
you two gets stomachaches the day after
so you stay in his bed the whole day being lazy and snuggling
haru turned off his phone when daisuke was calling him because duh he's spending precious time with his lovely girlfriend
in conclusion, haru kato is whipped for you
oh, by the way, you and daisuke partnered up to mess with haru and now haru has one less braincell because it decided to be best friends with the braincell that always has money in its disposal
"she better be happy i love her"
haru loves you vewy mooch
#haru kato#haru kato x reader#haru katou#fugou keiji x reader#fuguo keiji#balance unlimited#anime#daisuke kambe x reader#daisuke kambe#the millionaire detective#the millionare detective balance: unlimited#fuguo keiji balance unlimited#haru katou x reader#haru katō#x reader#anime x reader#fuguo keiji x reader
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image des: I really loved the fact that your brought their past into the light, that you made them actually effected and reflected on it. So often I just see stories focusing on their relationship with the "new" characters (Caesar, Luminous, Johann, The Gen fam) so following that line of thought.
Can I request a flashback scene? Like when we get requested to make it snow (at the beginning of the game) the group of friends reaction to it snowing makes you reflected on your past. In which a fluffy meeting/promise happens between Z, Renata and you. Or even any fluff you can think of between the three? It can be when they were kids or the age they were at during the game.
Admittedly I would love it if you can really focus on Z and the Character interaction/relationship because we all know he cares for Renata; they have that slacker x mother hen childhood friend vibe going on. But the idea that Z and you are ACTUALLY close (it just LOOKS like your friends with Renata and only friendly acquaintances with Z from the outside) makes me happy and bittersweet.
Sorry this got so long!
Tags for this chapter: fluff, hurt no comfort, bittersweetness, pure angst at first tho Tw: mentions of death and cannon typical violence, puke, death Time setting: pre japan like imagine if the mc got an adjustment period at cassell before they got shipped off to dragon war
You smiled happy to be of help to the friends who were separating today. Their cheerful giggles and cries of happiness as they raved over being able to leave on a snowy day just like the one from when they had met made your insides bubble with warmth and nostalgia. Z, Renata and you had been the same once..... before, before Herzog had...
You shake your head, now isn't the time for this. You wring your wrists, it's a habit you picked up from Z, though you two do it for different reasons. You feel a bit light headed, your knees are weak, it's so weird to see snow and not see your beloved friends among it. It just felt wrong to not feel their warmth around you in this cold tempature. The others giggling is getting too loud, it's beggining to ring in your ears and bounce around in your head at the same time as the memories of Renata and Z pour out of your head and spill in front of your eyes. You stiffly walk over to Claudia, left foot, left hand, right foot, right hand. Back and forth back and forth. You want to leave, but it’d feel wrong just going without checking with her.
“We met and departed on a snowy day.” She sounds so happy and while you’re glad that you were able to help them you also can’t help but feel cloying jealousy at the fact that this trio, Claudia, Susu and Leah get to be together, to meet and depart on snowy days filled with joy, while you can’t. You want to be able to see Z and Renata, you want to be able to tease them while jumping for joy and promising to stay in contact. You want to be able to send them off with a smile on your face and a promise to be well.
But you can’t.
And that’s it.
There’s no going back and searching, there’s no making up after an argument, there’s just nothing. Renata is dead Z is dead everyone is dead! And you can’t do anything about it.
Staggering away you start walking towards one of the benches in the courtyard that face the library. To say that you collapse on it would be an understatement. It’s like all the bones in your body liquified then disappeared at that moment. You clench at the snow on the bench, using the all too familiar feeling of it to guide you through your memories. The day you arrived at the orphanage, the first time you met Renata, Z and you arguing over who would get to hold which of Renata’s hands, the day Vera had arrived, so small and only a year old. You remembered her small finger curling around your own while Z helped you readjust how you held her.
Just Renata, Z and you.
But now it’s just you. You clench at your throat, clawing at it as if that’ll destroy the lump forming in it. You bring your knees up to meet with your chest. Burying your head in your arms. It hurts, you want to see them. At this point you’d even take Anton and Khorkina’s belittling of you or even Ivan and Sherkman failing horribly to hide the fact that they were dating over anything else that could possibly occur right now.
Rubbing your face on your knees you try to get rid of the few silent tears that have begun to spill. It doesn’t work, in fact it just makes everything so, so much worse. Memories of your childhood fly by, you’re loosing your grip on reality you know that. You don’t want to do it here. Not on a bench where anyone can see, if you’re completely honest you don’t want to confront them at all. But that isn’t an option, it’s never going to be an option for you, because you’re trying so hard to push them down and stamp them out right now. And it’s not working.
One of the wandering vending machines come up to you, clawed arm holding something in it. You can't see it at all, your line of sight only contains your legs after all, but you can hear the distinctive beeps of the machine, the whirring of its mechanical organs that allow it to move. You can feel the jagged edges of a wrapper lightly scratching at your leg through your uniform. The robot beeps twice shoving the snack into your leg once again before dropping it and skittering off. Lifting your head up you stared down at the snack you had been left with. Maybe the world really does hate you. Maybe you deserve to constantly have your mind ripped at and heart torn apart, because laying there in front of you is a cookie a chocolate chip one at that. The second your eyes land on the bubbly font that spells out chocolate you cant help but watch in horror as Vera falls in front of you, mere feet away, body still warm as she hits the snow, dead. You feel the bile rise in your throat, it isn't something that you can just swallow down either. Hand clapped over your mouth you stand, getting ready to run.
-----------------------------
You have no idea how you've made it back to your dorm room without puking on the way here, but now you're sitting over your toilet dry heaving into it. You stare down at the item that made you like this the choco- you spit into the toilet. Cookie, you'll just refer to it as a cookie. You consider tearing off the top half of the wrapper but then the smell of the cookie and the chocolate might just tip you over the edge. Instead you settle for smacking it away from you. In some small way it makes you feel better.
You hate that Herzog has ruined this for you. You hate that you can’t even see the word chocolate without feeling your insides churn, you hate that you can’t see snow without seeing your friends bloodied corpses staring back at you, eyes glassy and unfocused. Cookies were the first dessert that you had ever tasted and the last one. You remember the day you had first tried to bake them.
That day Z had let you in his room, Renata was sick, and neither of you were allowed to be around her as per Herzogs orders. With the knowledge that you have now you think you understand why you weren’t allowed to see her back then. Rather than actually being ill Renata was probably suffering from the side effects of the incomplete evolution pills. But either way natural disease or not it had been just you and Z. Sitting side by side on his bed, you laying with your torso hanging off his bed partially, practically upside down, and him crisscross leaned up against the wall that his bed bordered, a hand close enough to your leg to catch you if you started to slip. You two had been mindlessly talking, reading some book that you’ve forgotten the name of now, alternating turns each chapter. When you had gotten to a part where the main character was making cookies for their friend as a get well gift.
“Hey Z, have you ever had a cookie? I mean I’ve heard of them but I’ve never even seen one.”
“I can’t say that I have,” he yawned, “I’m not a big fan of sugar in general. That combined with the fact that the orphanage doesn’t even get the ingredients for them makes it obvious that I’d never even have the chance to try them, same as you.”
“That’s too bad, based on the description I think they’d be pretty good. You think Renata has ever had one?”
“I’m not her, I wouldn’t know.”
“I mean fair enough, but I kinda expected that you would, you guys spend forever having those late night talks after you send me to bed.”
You haul yourself up and spin on your ass so that you’re looking him in the eye, “Speaking of~, I won’t allow you to marry my daughter young man!” You cross your arms in an ‘X’ in front of you shaking your head. “Absolutely not don’t think I’ll allow anything of the sort!!”
Snorting he had pushed on your forehead with his finger until you were laying down the same as before and used his foot to roll you away from him. “2/10, If you’re going to give me a shovel talk then you should at least be intimidating, 1, and 2 you should do it in front of Renata so that you can embarrass her, who just gives that kinda talk straight to the supposed,” he raised his hands and gave out finger quotations “boyfriend?”
“Is that back talk I hear sonny? Don’t make me get up there!”
”Yeah because you haven’t already.” You can’t see him from your position but you can hear the smile on his voice. An accomplishment if you’ve ever seen one! You mean the stoic eternally tired Z was snorting and smiling because of what you said! You always loved times like this, when you would manage to break through his exterior and draw out a reaction, (preferably positive!!), out of him. Tapping his knee you grip onto his leg to pull yourself up once more, you can see him contemplating rolling you off the bed, thankfully he chooses peace for once.
”No okay but dead seriously, let’s go make cookies for Renata. We just got the shipments a little while ago, there’s got to be some of the stuff we need in there! We’ll just ask Herzog,”
“Or steal”
“Yes, or steal, come on it’ll be great!”
“Normally Renata would be here to stop you, which I am always grateful for since it means that I don’t have to be the one to talk you out of these things,”
You snap your fingers, “Speed it up Z, do I have a partner or am I gonna have to start running before you catch me?”
He claps a hand over your mouth which you look down at “Don’t you dare lick me,” is what he says in response to your stares. “As I was saying before someone cut me off,” if gives you a pointed stare, “Normally Renata would be here to be the voice of reason, however since she’s ‘sick’ and I don’t want to have her on my neck about you getting in trouble later here are my words of caution,” He takes his hand off your mouth and pats slaps your cheek twice before bringing the tips of his fingers in between the book page that you had been on and the next, folding it over and closing it. “Don’t, and if you do don’t get caught.”
It was your turn to snort, “What the heck, you suggested stealing in the first place!” You laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and set the book down on his bedside table getting up off the bed and bringing his arms above his head to stretch.
”I never said that we weren’t going to steal if that’s what you decide to do I simply offered you a word of advice about you stealing alone.
”AWWWW Z I knew there was a reason I put up with you!” You cried jumping up off the bed and attempting to latch onto his back,
He turned to face you swatting your hands away, muttering about you being “too big for him to carry like that anymore”
“What was that!?”
He pinched your cheek with one hand and used the other to ruffle your hair in a way that you knew wasn’t meant to be affectionate but instead to mess it up. “Look at how big the babies gotten! It can walk and talk now! Go ahead say ‘papa’ again!” You knew that you could never win against Z in a fight, all attempts left you on the floor with him sitting on you, or you hiding behind Renata and you exercising your lying and puppy dog eyes abilities. But boy oh boy did Z have a way of activating your Cain instinct and making you want to slap the shit out of him (affectionately of course). You heaved out a long suffering groan, and pulled Z’s hands off of you. You walked over to where his dresser was and sucked your teeth as you stared at your reflection. You tried your best to undo his damage to your hair, but it was a lost cause, hanging your head you turned to him with what you hoped was a horrifying, knee shaking, earth quaking, chicken baking, glare.
“This is why you’re an orphan.”
“Fair enough.” He said with a shrug before motioning towards the door, are we leaving now or what.”
“I’m coming, we’re going.” You said waving your hand at him in a shooing motion.
The minute you stepped outside it had been like you were ass blasted into one of the shipment containers mega freezers. You rubbed at your arms, lamenting the fact that you lived on a hunk of ice in the middle of a polar bears ass cheeks. “Okaaay so,” you clapped your hands together, “Do we know where Herzog is?” Z yawned and shook his head no from beside you. “Alright thank you for your participation! Gold star! I’ll go ask Anton, you stay here. And don’t fall asleep!” You ran off to go find Anton ignoring Z’s comment about you acting like a stray dog.
Heaving you clutched at the toilet, sobbing over the loss of your friends. You couldn’t even think of the times back then as being over, you just can’t.
No, that’s not right, you know they’re over, you know those peaceful days of snow and teasing are over. And yet you still long for them, you want to feel Z’s hands in your hair once more, want to feel the thrill of catching him off guard and running to hide behind Renata. You want back the times that you had spent, absorbed in watching Vera as she took her first steps, your young self amazed that anyone could ever be so small. You miss those moments when you seriously contemplated smashing Antons face into the ice under your feet, missed the random times when Ivan would pull you away to look at something cool that he had found. You just missed being homeyou miss the safe feeling that you had been provided with daily back then. Ignorance truly is bliss you suppose. If you had survived not knowing about what Herzog had done, if you survived thinking that all of this was just some randoms attack on you and your family would you have been happier? It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done.
You dry heave and spit into the toilet, bile rising in your throat but not to the point in which it would spill past your lips. Your vision is blurry from the tears and your head throbs with the pain of the pressure your tears are both building up and releasing. “I wanna go home…” you mumble slowly laying yourself down on the floor, hands clutched into your hair, fingers threading themselves in with the strands and pulling at them like a tide. You would yank at your hair then let it all fall out of your grip, massaging your scalp slightly, and then yanking at it again. You continued in this way as the blurry memory of that day played in front of you. Anton being no help, Khorkina doing her best to goad you into punching her, Ivan being somewhere that you swear was unreasonably high up. Eventually finding Herzog and asking him, him granting you permission as long as you cleaned up after yourselves, running back to Z with the good news.
“Z! Z! Listen to this!” He looked up at you from his spot on the stairs, clearly bored out of his mind, but hey at least he hadn’t fallen asleep like you asked!
He made a twirling motion with his hand “What is it?”
You placed your hands on your hips and grinned, “Herzog says we can use the stuff in the kitchen as long as we clean up afterwards!” You gave an overzealous thumbs up afterwards to make your point even clearer.
“That’s great!” He said all too sarcastically. Getting up he put both hands on your shoulders resting all of his weight on them before finally standing up straight shushing you and your whining.
It hurry you so much to know that everyone is gone. It hurts to know that you’ll never get that chance to just see them again, to hear their voices, catch a glimpse of them on the street. Instead they’re all dead and there’s nothing that you can do about it. You had watched everyone die, you had seen their eyes glaze over and go out of focus. You had seen how their blood stained the pure white snow a bright and somber red. You had run past them as you registered them as dead, praying to nothing but everything at the same time that at least one of them would live. That you would get to hold at least one of them in your arms as you two promised to stay with each other. But you didn’t get that. Instead you got to watch as Renata faded into the distance, your last hope, you got to claw through icy waters, pleading your legs to move, to allow you to save your dearest friend….
”Z, Z, Z! Help me I have no idea why the egg keeps cracking like that!”
“Maybe it’s cracking like that because you keep squeezing them until they explode.”
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me young man! I’ll have you know that Dr.Herzog says that I’ve made great progress in my home economics studies.” You proudly bumped your chest with your fist only to look down and see your uniform covered in egg goop. Z snickered before handing you a rag and motioning for you to hand him the bowl and the eggs. You slid it over to him with your elbow and focused on cleaning your hands and uniform up.
”Here,” he held up one of the eggs,”I’ll show you how to crack an egg, so that you don't end up wasting all of them.” He hit it lightly on the edge of the bowl, holding both ends of the egg with his fingers and pulling his palm so that the egg slowly slipped out of the shell before proceeding to throw the shell somewhere off to the side of him. He pushed the bowl back towards you with a smug look on his face. "You get it now?"
"Yep, yep, yep," you waved your hand at him dismissively before turning back to the book. "Okay so now we mix wet ingredients and dry, then we add in the chocolate." Getting the chocolate for the recipe had been the hardest part. With how rare chocolate is at the orphanage and the fact that you weren't allowed into your room because of how sick Renata was it had been hard to find any. Eventually after bribing Z and way too much effort on your part, you had ended up on Z's shoulders searching through the backs of the older and dustier cabinets, in one of which you had found a chocolate bar that was a week off from its expiration date. Not the best but it could've been 10 times worse you suppose. Z pushed the chocolate towards you with this hand before resting his head on his hand.
"So how much longer do we have? It's getting late." Z stifled a yawn.
You glanced at the book and back down at the cookie batter that you were currently scooping out and onto the baking sheet. They didn't hold their shape as well as the book described them as being able to but you supposed that it was just a matter of reality vs. idealized fiction. "Um I don't know. The book says that they need 25 minutes to bake properly and who knows how long its going to take to clean this all up."
"Well good luck with that." He said slapping his hand down on the table, turning around on his stool, and standing up.
Even if it was just the memory of the sound, the slapping of Z's hand on the table sent a wave of nausea scorching through your body. Everything was a blur, reality, what you were really seeing, cold white tile and the rug in front of the shower were blending together with the cold white of snow, the rug that was in you and Renata's cabin. You felt hands on your face, were they from the memory of Renata checking your temperature or were they your own? Your vision was swimming, you were underwater, you were lying on the bathroom floor. You were drowning, you're lying on the bathroom floor. You're dying, you can't see.
You clamored up in a haze, you have to run! You have to get to Renata and Vera and Anton and and and and! And you slam into a desk that was out in the middle of Hezog's lab. Z is right there, Renata is right there, Vera is right there! All you need to do is reach out a little further and you'll be there! You'll be able to save them! You finally latch onto Z's uniform begging him not to go, begging him to stay with you, because if you go alone then everyone will die. "PLEASE Z!" You yell out. "I need you, I need you, I need you, everyone's dying, dead, dying dead, dying, dead, I can't save them! PLEASE!" And then the Z you're holding onto collapses, leaving nothing but a pile of clothes behind. His uniform lies bloodied in your hands. Renata lies bloodied in your hands. Anton lies just out of reach, dead. "Come back, please." You clutch onto Z's uniform harder. The tears don't falter as you trace your hands along the sleeves of the uniform. "The sleeves are too short you should get Herzog to make you a new one." You chuckle fondly. only...
Only...
Only the uniform has too many mistakes for it to have ever been Z's, theres too big a difference in size. It doesn't smell the same. It's not his... it's yours. You're not at the orphanage, you're in your dorm at Cassel. You're sitting on hardwood floors right now, not the powdery snowfall of home. Its warm, not cold, theres no dead bodies, only you and the mess that you made when you stormed through here earlier. You choke on a sob, tears coming down in even thicker streams, your headache had bloomed into a splendid migraine. You can barely see straight, but you know for sure that this isn't anywhere near, by or in the orphanage. And it can never be. The orphanage is gone now. Everyone's bodies are probably still lying on top of the snow, glassy eyes unfocused and unseeing, faces twisted in fear. Or maybe they've been charred to ashes, with nothing left to remember them by, their remains carried by the winds or at the bottom of the sea. You clutch your uniform tighter, biting down on it to muffle your screams and sobbing.
You have no idea how long you've been here. Your tears have faded now, only leaving the uncomfortable burning of the dried tear tracks in their memory. You don't stare at anything in particular, theres nothing left of your emotions, just the dull ache of apathy. Your vision is spotted with dancing black circles and lines. They look a bit like what you imagine TV static would look like but you really have no idea. Your conscious waves and ebbs like the tides from back home. You can't think of anything other than the feeling of the cloth clutched in your embrace right now. Sighing you bury your face in it, resigning yourself to a night on the floor.
#dragon raja#zero dragon raja#dragon raja mc#z dragon raja#Dragon raja herzog#fanfic#dragon raja fanfic#Writing#angst#hurt no comfort#fluff#I suck at tagging
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My Darling - Light Yagami x Reader
Reader is a detective taking over the Kira case and Light likes being called Kira...
A/N: ok so yall... this might be a little much but im testing some other things like the posession and what not in this fic... cause i wanted to make free bird sort of dark, but i didn’t know if yall were comfortable with that. lmk tho. and before i even put it in the warnings, light mentions the reader calling him “my god” and this in no way is to disrespect any religion or make anyone uncomfortable. purely just light yagami’s god complex.
Also I promise I’m gonna write Free Bird soon, just tell me how dark I’m allowed to go with it cause... I can give y’all crazy Hawks..
warnings: DEATH NOTE SPOILERS even tho its been 14 years, light has reader call him “my god” and kira, lots of degradation, mentions of ryuzaki’s death, light and reader talk about light’s relationship with misa, so this includes cheating and talk about cheating, i think thats all? ill update if i notice anything else
pairing: Light Yagami x Reader
words: 3307... the way this is the longest story i’ve posted...
“It just doesn’t make sense. Why would Kira leave such a big opening for us both?” Y/N squinted their eyes, looking down at the table full of supposed “evidence” that was left after Ryuzaki’s death. Y/N was the only person Ryuzaki truly trusted to take his place, even though he always said he trusted Light, he still had his lurking suspicions.
“Maybe Kira wanted someone to find out..” Light said, looking at the back of their neck, his lip caught between his teeth. He’d always felt this way about Y/N, always had a hidden lust for them ever since he first laid eyes on them when he was taking his exams. His attitude would be different towards Y/N, always seemed more patient and kind with them, but annoyed and arrogant towards others.
Y/N shook their head, “you know, Light,” Y/N turned to face him, crossing their arms over their chest, “sometimes I wonder how I lost my valedictorian spot to you in highschool,” they jokingly teased, poking his chest. They could have sworn his eyes glowed red, but they were instantly comforted with his regular face, his typical heartthrob-like appearance.
Light chuckled, putting his hand behind his neck, a bright smile on his lips. “You know sometimes I think a bit too fast,” Light said, his eyes forming crescents as he smiled.
They hummed. “Maybe you got your valedictorian spot because you used your smile to your advantage. I remember that was how you got out of classes and late slips,” they rambled, turning back around to face the table of evidence.
Light licked his lips, watching when they bent over the table. “Ah… You noticed?” he asked, “I’d say you were flirting with me, hm?” Light tilted his head, noticing how they froze.
“Light, you know I couldn’t do that to Misa.” Y/N said, shaking their head as they went back to their work. “You know I couldn’t hurt a friend..” they mumbled.
Light let out a sigh, rolling his eyes. “It’s always ‘Misa this..’ or ‘Misa that’. Who cares how she feels?” Light hummed, placing his hand on top of Y/N’s, meeting their gaze.
Light has thought about this before. If he wanted to date Y/N, he didn't have to tell them about his true identity, though Light has always thought about how amazing it would be to have his darling on top of him, calling him Kira. It would feed his ego, make him feel like the most powerful man on earth.
Y/N pulled their hand away, tilting their head. “Shouldn’t you..? You’re her boyfriend.” They reminded, shaking their head once more.
“Mm, not for long..” Light whispered, leaning against the table with his head cocked back. “I don’t want her. I want someone else.” Light told Y/N, turning his head to face them again.
Y/N blinked, staring into Light’s eyes. It was a habit they had, a habit that developed during the beginning days of the Kira investigation when they were accusing Light of the murders and it was almost impossible to read his deadpan expression. But when they looked into his eyes at this very moment, it was almost like they shined red. Almost a twinkle of scarlet.
“What do you mean? Misa has plans to marry you, Light. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was naming your future kids as we speak-“
They were cut off by Light moving behind them, his lips awfully close to their ear as he opened his mouth to speak. “I said what I said.” he told them, “And I meant what I said.” Light ran his hand up Y/N’s arm, looking at their reflection in the computer screen in front of him with hooded eyes. “Now, Y/N, answer me this… Do you want something with me? All you have to do is nod that pretty head of yours and I’ll be all over you..” He whispered in their ear.
Y/N hesitated for a moment. They were “good” friends with Misa, by good, it means they have had their fair share of insults thrown back and forth due to Light’s obvious difference in tone and emotion towards the two. Misa always suspected that Light & Y/N were up to something, more importantly, the poor girl was so paranoid that she thought Y/N was going to take her precious Light, yet she never acted on her suspicions due to Light always being with Ryuzaki during the day, she just assumed they didn’t have anything to hide. Either way, Misa or not, Y/N wanted Light just as much as Light wanted them, it was all a question of morality. If Misa walked in and saw her boyfriend pressed against the person who was now the head investigator of the Kira case, Y/N was sure the girl would freak, though Light has always told Misa that if anything were to happen to Y/N and their family, Light’s relationship with Misa would change in an instant and he wouldn’t think twice.
Y/N bit down on their lip, nodding their head. “I want it..” they mumbled, closing their eyes when they heard Light laugh, that pretty little laugh he always did.
“Good choice.” Light said, spinning them around. Light looked down at them, pressing his lips against theirs. In all honesty, Light had never done anything intimately with feelings behind it. His body felt like it was on fire after discovering what it feels like to actually enjoy the kiss they shared.
Y/N wrapped his arms around Light’s neck, leaning into their kiss as they fluttered their eyes shut.
Light pulled away after a few seconds, his hand finding its way to the back of Y/N’s neck. “Pretty soon Misa will be out of the picture,” he hummed, his free hand finding the bottom of their shirt. “And you and I will be able to be together without having to worry about her,” Light tugged the thin fabric off of their body, tongue trailing down to wrap around their hardened nipple.
Y/N arched into his touch, a gasp escaping their clenched teeth. “What do you mean Misa will be out of the picture..?” they asked, brushing his hair back.
Light’s eyes flickered up to meet Y/N’s, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he took their nipple into his mouth. Light took the other nipple between his fingers, leaving Y/N’s question unanswered.
Again, Y/N could have sworn that they saw a red glow in his eyes when he looked up and smiled.
Light pulled off of their nipple with a pop. “I want you to get on your knees for me,” Light said to them, standing up from his kneeled position.
Y/N instantly did what he said, unbuckling his pants, allowing them to fall to his ankles. Y/N looked up at him, tugging at his plain black boxers to expose his half-hard cock. Light sucked in a deep breath, his hands coming to Y/N’s hair.
“Be good for me and choke on my cock..” Light whispered, watching them wrap their lips around his tip. He bit down on his lip, his hips arching forward to meet Y/N’s mouth, pushing himself farther down his throat. He watched his cock disappear down their throat. He gripped their hair, keeping their head in place as he thrusted his hips back and forth into them. He loved hearing them choke on his cock, it made him feel so powerful. “That’s fucking right, baby… Such a good little whore for me…”
They looked up at him through his lashes, keeping their mouth open for Light to use. Light made eye contact with them, keeping their hair from getting in their way. Light took in a sharp breath through his teeth, humming in approval. “So skilled using that pretty little mouth of yours… Keep doing it… Just like that..” he said to them. “Imagine what Misa would think… How do you think she would react if she walked into this room and saw you on your knees for me, taking all my dick down that pretty throat of yours… Think she’d be upset? ...Think she’d snap?” Light mumbled the last part, his eyes almost rolling back as he watched them.
Y/N hummed around him, the vibrations caused his dick to twitch in their mouth.. Y/N squinted their eyes, they knew Light knew something they didn’t, but Y/N would never think that he was Kira or something. To be honest, they never really know what they would do if Light turned out to be him and Ryuzaki was right. They always got so defensive and annoyed whenever Ryuzaki would even bring up the accusation. Y/N doesn’t think they could even be mad at Light, they loved him too much. He was basically their best friend.
“How does it feel, hm? Being below me, sucking my cock like the good little pet you are…” He watched them roll their tongue against his tip, swirling it over his slit. “Worship my cock like it’s your god, slut. You should be working but you’re mouth wide open all for me… It just shows I have so much control over you, yeah? I can tell you to do anything and you’d do it for me without hesitation?”
They nodded, maintaining eye contact with Light as he thrusted in and out of their mouth.
“Making all those lewd noises… Oh, I’m sorry. You can’t control how dick depraved you are,” Light laughed, “ When I fuck into that pretty hole, I want you to scream my name, darling. I want you to cry ‘cause you feel so fucking good getting split open on my cock.”
Light hummed, “Get up. I want you to lean over against the table. And pull off your pants..” Light said to them, pulling away from their mouth. They did as he said, leaning over the table how he wanted, bent over for Light.
Light walked over to them, rubbing his tip against their hole. “Aww… Look at that… Already stretched and ready… You’ve been waiting for a fat cock to fuck that pretty hole, hm? Before you came here, you fucked yourself, huh?” Light teased, slowly pushing his tip against them, “Well, my darling… Who does this body belong to now?”
“You..” Y/N whispered, laying their head down against the cold table.
Light gripped their hips, pushing into them with one hard thrust. “Say it louder. I don’t think you convinced me yet..” he said.
“My body’s all yours, Light. All yours to play with and fuck..” They told him, closing their eyes with a moan. “It feels so fucking good, Light..”
Light hummed, placing his hand on their lower back to keep them stable. “So fucking tight… that pretty little hole of yours is taking all of me… As it should..” he mumbled, beginning at a decent pace.
They felt their eyes cross at the feeling of his cock, gripping onto the edge of the table. “All for you, Light!” they moaned out when they felt him brush against their sensitive spot, toes curling.
Light chuckled. “Ah… I found it..” he whispered, angling his hips to rock against that area over and over. “I can’t wait for you to cum all over this cock… Have you acting like a bitch in heat. Look back at me when I fuck you. I want to see your face… That pretty expression.”
They looked back at him, biting down on their lip to conceal the noises spilling out of their mouth.
“Be as loud as you want, darling. Let everybody know that I’m the one making you feel this good. Let them know that your body is mine.” Light snapped his hips into them, quickening his pace. “Such a good little bitch, yeah?”
“I don’t want-… I don't want Misa to walk in!” Y/N arched their back, feeling tears fill at the brim of their eyes. They could feel the burn of the stretch from his cock still, but it was a feeling that they absolutely loved. They always dreamed about what it would be like to have Light stretching them open.
Light pulled their hair, pressing them against his chest. “I don’t fucking care. Let her walk in. You should be grateful for my cock. You know Misa always is ready for me and asks everyday, but I always say no because I want to be buried inside of you. Don’t fucking act like an ungrateful bitch, take what’s given to you. Say you’re sorry.”
Y/N nodded, the tears spilling out of their eyes. “I’m sorry, Light..”
“No, Y/N… What are you sorry for?” he asked, his hand coming down to smack their ass, watching the jiggle.
“I’m sorry for being ungrateful. Thank you for your cock..” They whimpered.
“I want you to call me your God..” Light whispered in their ear, “Say you’re sorry, ‘My God’.” Light told them.
They looked up at him, cheeks soaked in tears. “...What do you mean?” They asked, still gripping at the table with sore knuckles.
Light bit down on his lip to conceal a smile. “Oh… I forgot.. Cute little detective doesn’t know what I’m talking about..” Light would be lying if he said this conversation wasn’t egging him on, lying if he said the thought of Y/N being stretched on his cock and not knowing his true identity didn’t excite him.
Y/N bit down on their lip, rocking their hips backward to meet his thrusts. “I-I don’t understand what you’re talking about..” Y/N whimpered, looking up at him through their lashes.
Light let out a deep breath, humming into their ear. “You being so oblivious is so sexy, you know..” Light continued moving his hips, feeling Y/N clench around him. “What if I told you…” Light took his sweet time punctuating each of his words with a rough thrust, looking down at them, “What if I told you that the man who’s fucking into this tight hole of yours knew something you didn’t about Kira, hm?”
Y/N winced at the feeling, “If you have affiliations then-- fuck, then you should have told me, Light. You know how important this case was to Ryuz-”
“I don’t have affiliations with Kira, darling…” Light leaned down, mostly for dramatic effect. He took Y/N’s jaw into his hand, making them look up in the reflection of the computer screen. Y/N opened their eyes, looking up at their two moving bodies, listening to his voice and the sound of skin slapping against skin. He rolled his hips into him, hitting deeper areas as he breathed heavily into their ear.
“I am Kira.”
Y/N looked at him in the computer reflection. “Light don’t.. Joke around with me like that…” His eyes were doing that red thing again.
Light hummed. “I felt you clench around me, darling. Does that simple idea excite you? Getting fucked by someone you’ve been chasing for so, so long, only to end up at his mercy… If you tell on me, you’ll have no choice but to tell them how you found out and what you were doing to find this out. Imagine how disgusted the press would be if they found out you were spread open for Kira’s cock, hm? No… Imagine how disgusted Ryuzaki is in you... “ Light chuckled.
Y/N moaned out at his words, smacking a palm over their mouth as they went wide eyed. Something about the particular situation was sending them into a frenzy. Their sex spasming around Light, legs going weak and shaky as a band snapped in their stomach, orgasm washing over their body without warning. They knew it was wrong, but they were too caught in the moment to stop or prevent it. They wanted Light so badly for so long, the fact that he admitted to being Kira was only aiding the burning lust for him. They relaxed into his hand that was still holding his jaw, broken whimpers falling from their bruised lips.
“I knew you’d get off to the thought like a fucking slut… So do it. Moan my name as I fuck you into overstimulation, have that body aching for more. Gonna fuck you until you can’t see straight, gonna make sure you know who owns this pretty body. I’m gonna make sure you know that only I, Kira, can make you cum like that…” He whispered into their ear, his eyes still staring at them in the computer’s reflection.
Y/N’s face burned, eyes hooded as they panted. “Fuck me, Kira… Please… I’m all yours…” Y/N said, watching his lips turn into a smile and his cheeks flush red instantly, “It turns me on knowing that you’re Kira and you own my body…” They kept going, “I want you to fill me with your cum, make me remember who owns me even after you pull out. I want to feel you for days, Kira..”
Light let out a grunt, closing his eyes as he felt his orgasm approaching. It was something about Y/N calling him Kira that made his knees go weak. Hearing Kira always made Light feel some type of way, but hearing Y/N moan out the name sent shivers down Light’s spine. It was like the simple name was at the top of some made up hierarchy in his head, hearing someone call him Kira while they were bent over for his cock, begging for his cum made him feral.
He bit down on Y/N’s neck as he came, his hips stuttering, making his thrusts sloppy. He let out a string of curses, his chest heaving against Y/N’s back. “So fucking good for me..” he hiccuped, his hands still gripping Y/N’s jaw tightly. He finally let it go, looking at the pretty handprint left on their skin, the same on their hips.
Y/N couldn’t believe what they just did, but somehow it just made them want more. They turned around onto their back, gripping Light’s shirt collar. “Keep going, please..” They begged, looking up at him with glossy eyes and tear marked cheeks.
Light laughed, his hands finding their hips again as he slid back into them. “I knew you were a slut, but I didn’t think you were this slutty,” Light looked down at them, finding a rhythm in his thrusts, “Getting off to the fact that I’m a criminal, one you’ve spent so much time trying to trace… And all this time, he was right in front of you. Well, I guess right on top of you now, huh?” He chuckled, watching their face twist in pleasure.
Y/N nodded, eyes crossing as he spoke. “You’re so fucking big, Kira..”
Light moved his hands to their cheeks, roughly pressing his lips against theirs, moaning into their mouth as he slid his tongue between their lips.
He continued his hip thrusts, Y/N’s whimpers and moans spilling into his mouth.
“Gonna cum for me again?” Light asked, looking into their eyes.
They nodded, looking back at him. “I wanna cum..” they said, pulling him into another kiss.
“Cum with me then..” he said, quickening his hips. Light never felt any better, he was in pure ecstasy, knowing he was able to fuck the person he’d been fantasizing about for years, and they even get off to Light’s obvious god complex. He couldn’t ask for more.
They both came, pressing against each other as they moaned in unison.
After a little while, Light sat up and looked down at Y/N, stroking their cheek with his thumb, a smile on his lips.
“You know, baby… We should do this again sometime.”
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59 for jily!!!
A/N: hi anon. i really hope you like this. i honestly dont know if i like it at all. but this is just what my brain told me to write and where to take the prompt. i’m trying to just write without judgment [dont know if that’s working tho lol]. anyway hopefully you enjoy :)
“You can’t keep it all inside, you know?” James said kindly. “Bottling it up won’t do any good.”
Lily sighed, focusing on the feel of her boyfriend’s hand on her leg. They were supposed to be monitoring the halls, doing rounds, but instead ended up sitting on the floor of the seventh-floor corridor talking. At first, they were arguing and walking around aimlessly, but then Lily admitted she was wrongly taking her anger out about other things on him as she slumped against the wall and slid down, holding back tears.
His hand on her leg grounded her, and she covered his hand with her own. “I know,” she said, her voice small. “I just…keep thinking about my mum’s letter.” “About Petunia’s engagement?”
She nodded. “She couldn’t even tell me herself. Not even in a letter.” “She isn’t as brave as you are,” James stated.
Lily shrugged. “It’s not just that, though. Just…why him? He is the worst, the absolute worst, James. He works for a drilling company.”
“Don’t really know what that means, but sounds dead boring.”
“It is!” she said, exasperated. “And she isn’t even going to get a job of her own. She’s just gonna marry Vernon and let the rest of her personality disintegrate into whatever he wants it to be. I never expected her to be…“
“-ordinary? A victim to our patriarchal society?”
Lily let out a small laugh. “Yeah, basically. She wasn’t always like that, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
She looked down into her lap, looking at James’s hand. “Did I ever tell you that she wrote a letter to Dumbledore?”
“No,” he replied, sounding surprised.
“She asked if she could join me at Hogwarts. She was always jealous of me, but finding out I was a witch and she wasn’t was the final straw for her, I think...when Dumbledore- very kindly, may I add- told her she couldn’t come to Hogwarts, that’s when she turned on me for good. I wasn’t her sister anymore, I was a freak.”
She could feel James looking at her, but she couldn’t find it in herself to look up back at him. He rubbed his thumb soothingly along the inside of her thigh. “She was just jealous of you.”
“I know that.”
“And she didn’t just turn on you,” he added. “She turned on herself. She couldn’t be special in the way that you were, so she decided not to be special at all. It’s a miserable way to live, but she chose it.”
Lily felt her eyes sting, and tears started to leak out of the corners of her eyes. She sniffled, embarrassed. “Sorry, I know you’re right, I don’t even know why I’m so upset.”
James turned a bit beside her to face her better, taking his free hand and pulling her chin up. He then wiped away the tear sliding down her left cheek. “I know you care about her, and it hurts that she’s not the person she was when you were kids. But family is relative. Just like my parents and I are more family to Sirius than his own blood relatives are. Blood doesn’t mean everything. It can still hurt, but you have other family who can see how special you are, and want to be as close to you as possible, because you make everyone else better. Your parents. Your mates. Me,” he finished, his signature crooked smile emerging.
This only made Lily’s tears fall faster. He leaned forward and kissed them away, and then kissed her quickly all over her face, something that always cheered her up. She giggled, and then leaned forward and hugged him. “Thank you.”
He wrapped his arms around her and embraced her tightly, and they sat there for a bit, and the scent of his skin was calming to her. She kissed his neck briefly, and then James nudged her head to kiss her properly on the mouth, firm yet soft, mixed with both comfort and desire. She leaned into his kiss, feeling her heart inflate again, past its normal size, jumping so hard in her chest she was surprised James couldn’t feel it ricocheting against him.
After a few glorious minutes, he pulled away, gently running his fingers through her hair. She kept her eyes closed for a bit as he did that, her senses still ablaze. She could almost hear him smiling as he said, “I’d love to continue this, but maybe we should move somewhere with a bit more privacy.”
“Oh, Merlin, we should be deducting points from ourselves, honestly.”
“I don’t think we’ve done this rounds thing properly once since we started dating.”
“We’re rubbish Head Girl and Boy,” she managed, reveling in the gentle motions of his fingertips.
“Nonsense,” he brushed off. “Best this school’s ever seen. You are, at least.”
“Appreciate the flattery.”
“You feeling better?” he asked, his voice tender. “Got everything out of your system?”
She opened her eyes and looked into his, sparkling hazel behind his spectacles, which were a bit fogged up from being pressed against her face for multiple minutes. And looking at him, very clearly, she felt overwhelmed with the same thought that had been decorating her mind for weeks.
Because he’d seen her at her worst and at her best. He was brilliant and hilarious and generous and saw her for who she was, and found beauty in all her flaws. She felt safe with him in a way she never really had with anyone. He loved her when she laughed and when she cried, and never made her feel like she had to lessen herself for anything. He cared about people in a way that was so intentional, so thoughtful.
She decided to take James’s advice. No use in keeping everything inside.
“Not everything,” she said.
He took the hand running through her hair and used it to caress her face. “Well, I’m all ears.”
And then she told him, loud and clear, “I love you.”
It took a moment for it to set in, but when it did, the smile on his face was almost blinding, the special kind of smile he’d given her when she kissed him for the first time, when she agreed to go on their first date, when she said she’d be his girlfriend.
“Oh my god,” were the first words out of his mouth. He put his free hand on her other cheek. “I’m not dreaming, am I?”
“Nope.”
“I love you, too,” he said, pulling her face to his and kissing her hard. “I’ve loved you for so long, Lily.”
She laughed. “How long exactly have you been holding that one in for, then?”
“Too long. Way too long,” he said, his smile still taking up his whole face.
“What happened to you can’t keep it all inside and bottling it up won’t do any good?” she teased. “Couldn’t take your own advice?”
“No, I couldn’t,” James said, his voice serious. “I mean, I was planning to soon, actually, but I was hoping that you would say it first because I was worried you’d think it was too quick or I was rushing something or-“
She leaned forward and kissed him. “I wouldn’t have thought those things. I’m sort of mad for you, didn’t you know?”
“You love me,” he whispered, still in disbelief.
“That I do.”
“And I love you,” he repeated, and then he laughed. “If fifth-year James knew that this would happen-“
“Oh, shut it,” she ordered, and kissed him again, and he kissed her back with urgency. And suddenly her problems and her fears and her anger completely dissolved, and for a moment, everything felt right.
He pulled away much too soon. She frowned, about to lean back in but James suddenly tugged her upward with him, walking as fast as his long legs could take him, Lily barely keeping up.
“What are you doing?”
He looked over his shoulder and smirked mischievously right as he skidded to a halt at a prefects’ bathroom. “I told you I wanted to continue somewhere with a bit more privacy.”
“In the prefects’ loo? Really, James?” she asked, although she was the one to push the door open and step inside first. Who was she kidding?
“This place is like a fucking palace,” he remarked as the door closed behind them. “C’mon, Evans. We’ve already established that we’re irresponsible Heads of the school, so let’s really commit to it. Have we ever half-arsed anything?”
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19, 24, 26! ☺️
19 -If you aren't religious, do you wish you were? Why?
Right so this is a weird one bc if I'm being totally honest, I've been avoiding all things to do with faith / religion for the past year. I was brought up Catholic which was obviously frustrating bc I'd be like oh right we love everyone! Why is my school telling us it's a sin to be gay tho :/ So then I met my now boyfriend Matthew and he was brought up more widely just "Christian", no particular denomination, and we talked a LOT about faith and stuff bc I had turned my back on the Catholicism bc it just didn't make any sense to say yeah I agree with Jesus we should be nice to everyone! But not the poor, or sex workers, or LGBTQ+ people, or people with mental health problems.. the people he literally spent his life helping. But here was this nice guy and his nice family saying actually people misread / mistranslate / misunderstand / manipulate / ignore messages in the bible all the time and there's a lot of it we take for granted but we should really actually question it and consider it for ourselves and keep in mind the context and the fact that it's not The Magical Word Of God but a load of letters written by people who thought (or claimed) they were writing what God had told them and also were sometimes just writing to each other to check in and give advice specific to their specific community, and like you have to be so critical about it and I do really value a good supportive church group where those questions and discussions are welcomed. It helps me to keep an open mind and is encouraging to see other people do the same bc obviously there are some awful, horrible people who call themselves Christians as an excuse to be racist or whatever (I don't understand why or where the white supremacy thing comes from bc the dudes in the bible were, ya know, Not White). But then I'm busy now and I don't make time to properly consider what my faith is or where it is right now BUT to actually answer the question, even though I'm guilty of making zero effort to work on my own faith whatever that may or may not be, I don't think I wish I was religious bc it can be so easy to become narrow minded if you get into certain circles, and I think we all need to be as open minded as possible these days
24 - Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality?
I'm not sure tbh. I mean I guess I identify as female but I also like the idea of just being a Person, irrespective? But not so much that I'm uncomfortable if people call me she/her. And I don't think I do fully understand my sexuality, sometimes I think maybe I could be bi bc I really fancy some girls but then I kind of talk myself out of it bc I happen to be in a heterosexual relationship and am way more attracted to men? I'd feel like a fraud if I started saying I was bi lol. But again I'm happily in my relationship so it's kind of irrelevant anyway? Does it matter if I also sort of fancy girls a bit? I don't think so. I know it's just because I'm very lucky not to have had any difficulties growing up and also that I've been in a male / female relationship for 5 years but I feel very chill about gender and sexuality. Maybe bc my mam came out as gay and married a woman when I was young and I spent half my time with them. Like I learned early on that the people are so much more important than any label
26 - What's the most life-changing decision you've made so far?
The decision to end the cycle of shitty parenting / family relations in general. I don't have to miserably chase after my shitty parents' love or attention bc I won't get it! Who cares? My older sister very clearly decided she would let it go no further and she is the most awesome, loving, encouraging mother I know. Like she carves out quality time with her kids on the regular and she makes the world so magical for them bc it never was for her, and watching her do that so deliberately and positively had a big influence on me as a teenager. So as soon as I moved out I decided to do the same, leave the trauma and pain there with them. Obvs that's so much easier said than done and I'm addressing the daddy issues with a therapist for a reason but my outlook on it is much more positive and it's so liberating!
Thanks for asking, I've been up since 3.30am so I really do apologise for rambling on so much, I hope some of it makes some sense 😂
#ask#thanks!#deep questions#worrying i'm gonna offend someone but genuinely i dont mean to unless you use your 'faith' as an excuse for shitty behaviour to others
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WIG REVIEW: WONDER WOMAN 1984
You guys! Now that the holidaze are over, I finally got around to watching the #1 most hated movie of the holiday season: Wonder Woman 1984! People have so many opinions about this movie AND NOW I DO TOO! I even have some thoughts on the wigs! Let’s discuss.
We begin in Themyscira, land of Amazons, fishtail braidology, Robin Wright, NO EFFING MEN, and also this weird Amazon gladiator gauntlet that is mainly brought to you by lots of computers. Baby Gal Gadot (nee Wonder Woman) is allowed to compete in this CGI decathalon despite being 1/3 the size and age of the other competitors and almost wins the damn thing but Auntie Robin Wright disqualifies her for trying to cheat to win. About 4 hours later, toward the end of this movie, Wonder Woman also tries to “cheat” at something so this is kinda sorta foreshadowing if you believe that the writers of this screenplay even had that forethought!
Moving ahead to 1984, this movie just gets SO 1984. Or really “1984″ in the Stranger Things sense, in that they even used the damn mall that that show takes place in and some dumb criminals steal some jewelry and Wonder Woman saves the day and also comically saves some kids who could have been hurt. I am still bitterly injured by Gal Gadot’s wig, which is not so bent and tangled as the first Wonder Woman movie. Still, the general texture and quality leave something to be desired AS DOES THIS WHOLE MOVIE BUT I AM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF!! Anyway, other than foiling crimes at malls, Gal Gadot mainly lives a sad single life in DC where she pines away for Chris Pine in her fabulous apartment, surrounded by an astonishing amount of photographs of her late boyfriend, given the fact that the pictures she has of him are from the 1910s when not everyone had a damn photo printer. Absent of course, is the photograph of her and her ragtag WWI buddies which is delivered to her at the end of the first Wonder Woman movie in the present day and therefore hasn’t happened yet and here begins and ends all logic in this movie.
Anyway! Gal Gadot works with Kristen Wiig, who does her fabulously awkward Kirsten Wiig thing as a nerdy scientist who is largely overlooked by all of society and who wears upsetting culottes and oversized sweatshirts and drinks Bartles and Jaymes (THIS MOVIE MISSES NO OPPORTUNITIES TO #80s). Her wig, as all wigs worn by Kristen Wiig in movies, is a horrible mess of bad texture and general bentness. Also, together she and Gal Gadot are sifting through the jewelry stolen by those thieves at the mall and there is one particular giant crystal or whatever that seems to possess magical properties. Yes, like the Infinity Stones that came (and then kept coming!) AND YES I REALIZE THAT THAT IS MCU AND THIS IS DC BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER: EVERY GODDAMNED SUPERHERO MOVIE IS SOMEHOW ABOUT HAUNTED JEWELRY.
Enter Pedro Pascal in the most outrageous 80s wig in honestly the most outrageous 80s role. He essentially plays Donald Trump - a start-up conning people out of money who is also a terrible dad and has terrible hair. I really wondered for much of this movie if this wig was supposed to be a wig, because it looks as fake and wig-like as Trump’s hair, but no - I think this is supposed to be real hair! Truly truly truly outrageous. Anyway, dude basically doesn’t want to work hard to get rich (again, much like Trump!) and instead wants to just wish his way into success via this dream crystal that Gal Gadot and Kristen Wiig have.
OH AND THEY ALREADY WISHED ON THE CRYSTAL! Kristen Wiig wishes to be like Gal Gadot (not realizing that she’s actually wishing to be Wonder Woman) and gets the most outrageous makeover into this bleached blonde nightmare. AND EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE WOW YOU’RE NOT WEARING CULOTTES ANYMORE I GUESS THIS IS NORMAL FOR YOU TO SUDDENLY LOOK THIS WAY AND FOR YOUR HAIR TO INEXPLICABLY BE INCHES LONGER IN THE COURSE OF AN AFTERNOON. Also! Although this bleached blonde wig is maybe an upgrade from her mousy wig from before, that really means nothing as both wigs are garbage.
Gal Gadot’s wish, of course, was for her ain’ true love, Chris Pine, to come back. AND THEN HE DOES! SORTA! Despite being definitely exploded in a plane in 1918 (in the first movie - spoiler?), he just kinda walks into this fancy party like “hey what’s up?” OH EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL THING.
HE LOOKS LIKE THIS DUDE TO EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT GAL GADOT. Ok? I guess because Chris Pine’s actual physical body was destroyed in 1918, he has to inhabit the body of this random man credited only as ‘Handsome Man’ in 1984 which really begs the question - what then happens to this handsome dude while Chris Pine shapeshifts into him and does anyone care? ALSO! Plot-wise, this is just the tip of the iceberg in crystal wishes - basically everyone on earth gets a wish before film’s end and all are fulfilled no matter how ludicrous - and yet no other wish seem to have these sort of strings attached EXCEPT FOR WONDER WOMAN! WHY DOES ONLY WONDER WOMAN GET THE PET SEMATARY OF WISHES?!?!?!
Anyway! Lucky for us all, ‘Handsome Man’ has the most 80s closet ever! As we all know, movies set in the 80s are contractually obligated to provide us with a very 80s fashion montage and this one is ALL ABOUT CHRIS PINE. Somehow, ‘Handsome Man’ owns like 10 different fanny packs?!?! Every single 80s menswear disaster is covered here at least three times you guys.
About 3 hours later, he settles on this outfit! Mazel! I’d like to pause this review to now give my definitive breakdown of CHRIS rankings (limited only to the 4 young-ish, blonde-ish Chris actors who appear in superhero movies) so that I might now abbreviate Chris Pine to #2 Chris WHICH HE IS. Ahem:
- BEST CHRIS is obviously CHRIS EVANS. This is because he gets into Twitter wars with racists, he offered his arm of support to Regina King when she stumbled getting her Oscar, and he wears the shit out of a sweater. There are many other reasons also but no other Chris can compare - HE IS BEST CHRIS.
- WORST CHRIS is obviously CHRIS PRATT. This is because he is super Jesusy evangelical and also anti-LGBTQ and married a Schwarzenegger (tho Arnold wishes he was Evans too!). There are many other reasons why but those are the most important reasons. WORST CHRIS.
- #2 CHRIS is a constant battle between CHRIS HEMSWORTH AND CHRIS PINE. Hemsworth is very funny in the lady Ghostbusters, was once on Dancing With The Stars in Australia, and can really commit to a fatsuit. Pine is great at singing on a Wet Hot American Summer roof OR a river, loves caftans, and is loved by the one and only Wonder Woman. It’s an infinity tie between these two and therefore #2 Chris is in the eye of the beholder during whatever you are beholding, and currently we’re beholding Pine. #2 CHRIS!
Yes, this lengthy roundup was definitely worth it so that I can abbreviate Chris Pine to #2 Chris now. Moving on!
So Gal Gadot and #2 Chris walk through a very 80s DC while #2 Chris’s mind gets blown by all the stuff that is different in the 70s years he’s been dead. No 80s movie would be complete without of course covering PUNKS!!! This is where this movie definitely lost my husband because one of these punks is wearing a Cro-Mags shirt from an album THAT CAME OUT IN 1986. This offends me, also, not because I care about that band but because this is lazy costuming! Apparently, my husband was not the only one to notice this and become deeply offended - and Cro-Mags cofounder even chimed in to say that this is all ok because they released a demo for the ‘86 album in 1984 (AND WE ALL KNOW EVERYONE DEFINITELY MAKES SHIRTS BASED ON DEMO ALBUMS?) I still find this lazy and stupid costuming and remain annoyed! ANYWAY!
Back to the “plot”...Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal’s confederacy of bad wigs kinda sorta hook up at this dumb party so that Pedro Pascal can steal that very important wishing crystal! AND THEN HE WISHES ON THE CRYSTAL THAT HE CAN BE THE CRYSTAL. Haunted jewelry plots have never been so dumb as this you guys! AND ALL OF THE INFINITY STONES MOVIES WERE INFINITELY STUPID SO THIS IS REALLY SAYING SOMETHING.
So basically, after 70 years apart, Gal Gadot and #2 Chris have no more time to waste on fanny pack fashion shows or questionable metro punks and have to follow Pedro Pascal to Egypt, where he has gone to demand some oil from Egypt now that he is the physical manifestation of a wishing crystal. In order to get to Egypt themselves, Gal and #2 Chris steal a plane from the Smithsonian (which apparently just has some jets laying around some random tarmac) and then Gal WISHES THE JET INTO BEING INVISIBLE! This is obviously to fuel Wonder Woman invisible jet nostalgia and also to waste about 45 minutes on shots of them invisibly flying through fireworks. BECAUSE IT’S THE 4TH OF JULY WAIT HOW DID THEY VISIT ANY MUSEUMS OR DO ANYTHING ON A NATIONAL HOLIDAY EARLIER THAT DAY OH RIGHT THERE IS NO LOGIC IN THIS MOVIE. Over in Egypt, the wishing crystal Pedro Pascal hisself somehow creates a water shortage and refugee crisis in Egypt and Gal has to Wonder Woman some kids to safety, but mainly she wears this amazing jumpsuit and is able to find a working payphone to call Kristen Wiig and ask if she has any intel on that damn wishing crystal.
Kristen Wiig is somehow EVEN MORE BLONDE AND WEARING THIS DAMN COAT. I mean...you guys. WHAT. Like any good 80s thriller, Kristen Wiig researched the wishing crystal on microfiche which leads her to a random record store where she meets up with Gal and #2 Chris who I guess flew the invisijet back to DC from Egypt in a few minutes or something. Anyway, rando dude at the record store takes out some musty old book that has all the wishing crystal information everyone needed and basically warns that it can destroy society AND ALSO it can take things away from the wisher like a damn monkey’s paw. SPEAKING OF MONKEYS THAT COAT THE END.
But Kristen Wiig’s makeover is far from over! She finally appears as Cheetah herself at the damn White House, where the wishing crystal Pedro Pascal is asking a fake Ronald Reagan (?) if he can please satellite everyone on the earth so he can grow stronger as a crystal person OR SOMETHING? Anyway, Kristen’s lewk is very “punk” but not in a Cro-Mag way, but more in a Meryl Streep in Ricki and the Flash way? It’s a battle of not great wigs, at any rate. Kristen doesn’t want anyone harming her wishing crystal Pedro since that’s what made her Cheetah so there is this huge dumb fight where Pedro and Kristen just kinda glide away (not unlike actual Trump and his idiots last week and omg did this movie foretell that) and then Gal realizes that she has to denounce her wish because the monkey paw’s clause of it all is making her not powerful enough to fight anymore. So #2 Chris is like: I should just be dead anyway and my whole existence is very Pet Sematary and everyone kind of cries in an alley and #2 Chris dies again (?) Also! I think this is supposed to have been foretold by that earlier scene with baby Gal Gadot trying to cheat at that decathalon or whatever because you can’t cheat....death??? Regardless, Gal jumps into the sky and somehow is ABLE TO FLY BASED ON AERODYNAMIC FACTS #2 CHRIS GAVE HER WHILE FLYING AN INVISIJET? SURE!
Over in another plane, Pedro and Kristen are on their way to some satellite island to broadcast to the world about crystal wishes and dude is not looking so great because wishing that you are a crystal is a terrible idea. This is the point at which I realized that this wig was supposed to be real hair because it looks so sweaty and shitty but has consistently looked like a shitty wig through this entire “plot.” Anyway! He asks Kristen Wiig if she wants another wish which....huh? Somehow Gal Gadot’s wish ended up a Pet Sematary nightmare of possessed handsome man bodies that she had to renounce but Kristen Wiig gets two wishes? SURE! AND KRISTEN WIIG WISHES THAT SHE BECOME THE “ULTIMATE PREDATOR” WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS MOVIE Y’ALL.
APPARENTLY THIS IS WHAT AN ULTIMATE PREDATOR LOOKS LIKE?!?!?! YOU GUYS. In order to literally become a Cheetah, they gave Kristen Wiig a CGI body and....kabuki makeup? This lewk absolutely looks like a mashup between two dueling community theater productions of Cats and Pacific Overtures and I can’t stop laughing.
Meanwhile, Gal finally gets to rock this lewk which was earlier described as the battle armor of the goddess, Asteria, who was the one chick NOT invited to Themyscira for Amazonian fishtail braidology times, and had to stay behind to FIGHT EVERY MAN ON EARTH but did get this sweet armor out of it?!?! Regardless, despite withstanding all men ever, Cheetah somehow effs up this armor in a matter of seconds, but Gal is still able to defeat her through underwater electrocution (which somehow avoids Gal herself even though SHE’S WEARING AN ENTIRE SUIT OF METAL).
Anyway, in the end, the entire world is on the brink of collapse and eveyone is looking at old dumb 80s tv screens because of all the dumb wishes everyone made and I guess I appreciate the fact that this entire movie is about dumb 80s wish fulfillment but also there are so many plotholes that I can’t even, you guys. Gal somehow lassoes Pedro Pascal into remembering his shitty dad and realizes that he is now a shitty dad and everyone somehow renounces their wishes and Pedor Pascal just kind of WALKS OFF AN ISLAND INTO THE DEBRIS OF DC AND FINDS HIS CHILD BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?!?!?!?! It’s really annoying that this movie somehow rewards this shitty dad but also doesn’t let a woman (specifically WONDER WOMAN) have both a love life and her own damn job and I’m not alone in being annoyed by that. ANYWAY, days or weeks after the entire world almost ended, there is somehow a cute Christmas carnival that was definitely a stolen set from Dolly Parton’s Christmas in the Square where Gal Gadot is reunited with ‘Handsome Man’ who has no knowledge of previously being possessed by #2 Chris and is still rocking ALL THIS 80s FASHION and then a star shaped balloon is released into the sky and I wonder if this entire movie has been a Macy’s ad.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! In a mid-credits scene which is also maybe the only watchable part of this movie, the goddess Asteria (and OG owner of that gold body armor) is revealed to be alive and well and played by OG Wonder Woman, LYNDA EFFING CARTER!! She is definitely an actual goddess who never ages and whose hair is way better than any wigs on display at any point in this movie and is also the only part of the movie you should watch. THE END.
VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ
#wonderwoman84#ww84#wigwurq#galgadot#chrispine#2chris#chrisrankings#kirstenwiig#cheetah#punks#THE80S#contractualfashionmontages#pedropascal#hauntedjewelry#lyndacarter
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Carnival of Aros - July 2020
I've been meaning to type about this for a while, but then this month's carnival of aros is about music, so I figured... well, two birds one stone I suppose lol.
Musicals are sort of like music right? I mean, I don’t think this is too far from the idea, even if it was meant to be about, like, individual songs.
This is about a whole musical where I just immediately felt that it was a missed aromantic opportunity.
Company.
Company is a musical by Sondheim from the 70s that seems to be brought back every decade or so. It’s about a guy, Bobby, on the night of his 35th birthday. He’s a bachelor, the only one among a bevy of married friends - all of whom wonder why he can’t keep a girl and hasn’t gotten married yet. The show moves through snippets of Bobby’s experiences with his friends… they’re all basically trapped between the horribleness of being married and the horribleness of, well, not. They love Bobby for his freedom, for the advice he gives, for the fun he brings into their life, for watching their kids, for always being there without being a detriment to their coupleness.
But the entire play is them badgering him about why he isn’t getting married.
There’s also three of Bobby’s girlfriends who wonder the same thing, what’s wrong with him, why can’t he commit.
One could also view it as Bobby internalizing everything his friends and lovers have said in the past and having a freak out about it. The whole show is kinda… disjointed in that, while it takes place all on one night, the majority of scenes are from the past or possibly not real.
The show is set up, for most people, to be a commentary about, idk, like growing up or realizing that you can’t be alone or you gotta be open and vulnerable, but like you need to share your life with someone and that someone… uhh, can’t be your friends cause they all have their significant others and that’s the way things are (*hard side eye* lmao). And that’s a real shame, because the show is this wonderfully accidental portrait of a closeted aromantic struggling not only with the pressure of the conventional relationship narrative, but with friends who buy into that. Bobby doesn’t know what he is, or can’t accept it, or can’t admit it, and he’s struggling to force himself to feel the things that come so naturally to everyone he knows. He wants love, to be loved, but what’s in him, what he’s capable of, isn’t what everyone else has. I mean, look, he’s 35 and has never been in love, doesn’t understand love… *looks into the camera like I’m on The Office* come on.
I’m not going to go through the whole show, just hit on some highlights that scream aromantic to me, cause not all the songs are about Bobby’s relationships. Some are about the other character’s relationships. There’s 18 songs in this musical, lots of material.
Here’s a link to the whole thing … this is the 2006 version with Raul Esparza, who is fantastic.
We’ll start in Act 1 and go from there. About halfway through we get Bobby’s three girlfriends singing “You Could Drive a Person Crazy". This is an upbeat, vicious song about how they feel betrayed that he never takes things to the next level. They can understand if he was gay, or bad in bed, or actually dead… but Bobby is none of those things, instead he’s a crazy, troubled, person who has something wrong with him. He’s a zombie with a loose connection.
I don’t think I’m the only aro who’s been called similar.
Later Bobby sings about someone (“Someone is Waiting”)… an amalgamation of all his lady friends… pleading for this person to wait, because he’s ready. He wants to find them, if he’s not out of luck and too late. He already has what he’s looking for, theoretically… if only an alternative relationship structure existed. As is, he has to try and find someone new. Conform to the idea of the superiority and inevitability of the exclusive pair bonded romantic-sexual relationship.
When one of his friends is freaking out about getting married, close to calling off the wedding, he proposes to her. Because it makes sense. She doesn’t want to be married, he doesn’t want to be married, they can both be married and have their freedom, everyone will leave them alone.
“You have to want to marry somebody, not just some body,” says Bobby’s friend, deciding that she really does want to marry her fiance.
This leads to Bobby singing “Marry Me A Little”, imagining a marriage as being soft and respectful, no big fights, no big promises… and that he’s ready for that. Things like mutual respect and care. “We won’t have to give up a thing, we’ll stay who we are,” he sings. “I’m ready now.”
There comes a point as an aro (tho this applies to aces and people of any orientation who don’t really want a relationship as well), or for, I think, a lot, or a good number, of aros when you start looking at a future that doesn’t have the spouse and the kids and pets and picket fence. When you start to come to grips that you might be looking at an empty road instead. And it’s not necessarily that you don’t want that, or that you really want something else, but there’s a kinda scary point where you realize that it might just be you, alone. That no matter what friends you have or partners or whatever… that they’re eventually going to want to “get serious” and “have their own lives”, lives that don't include you as a main component. And “somebody”, anybody, that will make it so you’re not alone starts sounding pretty good. You’re almost desperate for it. If you could just find that right person, the one that would make it make sense to have the spouse and kids and pets and picket fence… you could do that. You could. It’d be so easy. And then you’d have someone and isn’t that what everyone wants?
Anyway… Act 2.
All the married couples sing about how much they love having Bobby around in "Side by Side by Side". But then also rag on him about how worried they are for him being alone and try to set him up ("Poor Baby" and "Have I Got A Girl for You"), which is par for the course I think for an aro.
There’s also “Barcelona”, where Bobby makes a vague, surface, “going through the motions” plea to one of his girlfriends that she should stay after they’ve slept together. He doesn’t try very hard and when she decides to stay, well he sings “oh god”. ‘Nuff said.
All of that is, you know, it builds, but the real highlight in Act 2 is “Being Alive”, which is where Bobby finally learns that he really does need someone.
Or, you know, when he’s been beaten down by life and his friends and partners so badly and so thoroughly that he decides that he’s not even alive if he’s alone. That he needs another person to make him alive. “Alone is alone, not alive.” Tragic.
He starts off with things like being held too close and hurt too deep, to which his friends comment about how he can’t possibly think that that’s all there is, telling him he has no reason to be alone, encouraging him to keep going cause he’s “on to something”.
Bobby’s seen the terrible bits of their marriages and, to his friends, also the good bits. But if you read Bobby as aromantic then he has no context for the “good bits”. He’s watched them dig at one another with secret info, argue, pester, have the other person say they hate it… and then it’s just fine, because of ~feelings~??? Incomprehensible magic. There’s a trick in there somewhere and Bobby can’t see it.
But Bobby’s trying. Forcing himself. If he just really thinks about everything they’ve told him...
“Hey, buddy, don't be afraid it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be,” says one friend. Yikes. “It's much better living it than looking at it, Robert,” says another. And I suppose if you do have feelings for someone, it’s not that bad.
Bobby finally… it’s sad, really… like I know it’s supposed to be a song of him figuring everything out, but it feels like a descent. He’s given in. He believes there’s literally nothing for him, he’s not living, unless he has another person. “make me aware of being alive” “make me alive”
Horrific.
I’m not entirely sure how, like if this show were to be reworked with Bobby as aromantic (and god knows it gets revived enough, it could happen if anyone knew what aromanticity was) how that would be communicated. Unless, like, you had Bobby admitting that he is aro from the start, but you’d have to assume that the audience would know what that was and actually, you know, not agree with all the other characters.
The latest revival in 2018 did a gender swap with Bobby, which is something. Now, I had thought it was just Bobby as the swap, but they swapped all her girlfriends into boyfriends and then made one of the married couples gay. Apparently, according to reviews, the whole thing was a revelation and really freshened up because, you know, it’s super hip and modern to do a “ticking bio clock” story line with a woman nowadays. (there's also the soundtrack to the gender swap on youtube, it's got Pattie LuPone in it!)
Personally, I would have just swapped Bobby… I’m not sure how well an aro reading there would play, not because there aren’t aro lesbians, but I feel like there are a lot of layers to a lesbian not wanting to u-haul and then getting harangued for it by her presumably hetero friends steeped in hetero society, just aside from any aromanticity.
But the whole thing takes on a very tragic tone when reading Bobby as aro, I think. I suppose what’s even more tragic is that Sondheim probably has no idea that he possibly wrote an aromantic character. He thinks he wrote a show about fixing someone who was broken. Just like the show Bones fixed Bones from being broken and how HIMYM fixed Robin and (tried to fix) Barney. I need to find a better way to end this, probably, we’ll see…
I wrote this three weeks ago on pillowfort and did not find a better ending lmao.
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Would you ever considering making a narutoxsasuke fanfic thats set in the boruto universe? Specifically Naruto realizing the true extent of his feelings for Sasuke, however hes already married to hinata with their two kids.
Sasuke ofcourse realized his own true feelings towards naruto pre-ch699 but felt that he didn’t deserve Naruto because of his sins, atonement w/e. So he hid his true feelings.
Naruto eventually confesses and now they are both stuck in a moral dilemma, but in the end they find a way, to achieve their true happiness by being finally together (without being cruel to their own families)
Sorry if this prompt seems complicated 😭😭 im really into angst with happy ending 😎😎
P.S i love your story ‘tswm’. My heart ache at the thought of them being separated without any certainty if they will see each other anytime soon.
Congratz on the 263k word count. ‘tswm’ is your greatest work yet. I also am amazed that this fanfic has reached this word count with them not having smexy time yet (how dare you 😂). I cant wait till sasuke goes from ‘we’re not having sex, moron’ to practically begging for it lol. Anyway this to me shows that you are really focused on the plot and character development which is one of the main reason im loving this story. Dont get me wrong tho, smut is also another reason why i read fanfics hehe.
I wish you stay well during these times and hopefully deliver and update soon. 😚
Hi! I don’t know how to say this in a diplomatic way but I won’t touch Boruto with a ten foot pole *sweats* It sounds like an interesting idea though so maybe someone else could write it! Personally I am living in denial that anything after chapter 698 exists lol. In my own canon Naruto and Sasuke married each other and adopted 15 orphans and they’re all super happy together. Also Sakura is a lesbian. (And angst makes me cry ;___;) Naruto is also dating Gaara because he deserves two boyfriends 😎
Oh, but I did write a sort of epilogue for ch 700 that I guess works as snippet of an ending for your prompt?
(Don’t take me too seriously - I don’t mind prompts but I honestly have zero time to even write my ongoing fics as it is haha and if I tried writing actual angst updates would be once every three years or so)
And thank you!! I hope I’ll get some time to sit down and write soon... I wouldn’t say that I care more about the characters and plot by not writing smut, but also, I try to only add it as a “natural” part of the plot, so yeah. So it feels slow bc the fic is so long but we have to remember that for them, it hasn’t even been a month lol 😂 I say this with love but they’re both dumb virgins and I think that’s valid. I honestly haven’t decided if I’ll add a full-on smut scene to the fic, maybe I’ll keep all the smut in the extras so I don’t have to think about if it fits the story or not haha.
Also, I’m pretty sure there’ll be an uproar regardless of which one of them tops in the scene bc top/bottom discourse still lives
Tbh I think Sasuke is already addicted to Naruto’s touch, he’s just in denial about it. Naruto is eagerly awaiting the day that Sasuke will be a little more vocal about his needs 😇
Stay safe!
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