#i csnt stop fucking laughing

[sugarysakurakitty]

I'm pitting my friends against eachother in friendly fire to figure out what they think I'd be like in the BSD verse.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[webslingingslasher]

https://www.tumblr.com/webslingingslasher/739562902099492864/the-panic-attack-please-im-cackling-jdjdjdj-it

also he would feel so bad😭😭 the fetishise ask thing got me thinking. imagine she lies or pretends she’s not a virgin at first just bc guys are super weird when they find out ab it, so she does that just as a protection thing/to get weird guys off her back. so Peter doesn’t know & imagine they’re making out or whatever but he’s super quick with it and suddenly there’s a dick in front of her and she starts panicking JAHAHAHAAHA

I csnt stop laughing picturing this. he’d be so confused but so worried HABABA

*cleaning out my inbox* an: this is not our trouble/reader. this is an au with our peter!

you got a little too far into it. in your defense, your friends told you instinct would take over and you’d just fall into it and you’d do anything when you’re horny and in the moment.

but right now, in this moment, you’re panicking because someone other than you is taking your shirt off, and someone other than you is touching your breasts.

you got this, you can handle this. you’ve made it this close, what’s a little closer? you could finally get it over with, and with a guy that’s astronomically hot. god was giving you a chance and you weren’t about to fuck it up.

you can handle being tossed to the bed, you can handle warm palms cupping your ass, you can handle a brush of his core into yours. you can handle peter taking off his pants, you can handle peter… peter… he’s-

peter’s got a big dick, and it’s coming right at your virgin body, and you can’t handle this. how are you supposed to lie your way out of this? or was it into this?

it doesn’t matter, he’s going to know the second he tries to put it in. fuck, is he going to put it in? yes, that’s how sex works- okay, fuck, shut up!

peter’s got a gleam in his eye, how fucked were you about to make things? you’re the one that came onto him and now you’re freaking out because there’s a real deal penis and real deal sex situation happening and you have no idea what to do.

‘that’s a penis.’ your hands clasp over your mouth, it was the least sexiest thing you could say and it shows on peter’s face.

‘i’ve…’ you swallow hard and feel everything in you ignite, you’re praying to any god listening he just takes you out of your misery right then and there. isn’t premarital sex a sin? you should be burnt at the stake.

‘i’ve never seen one before.’

‘oh, jesus christ.’ a shuffle, it’s out of your sight and you can’t begin to explain the relief. you stare down at your hands, if you didn’t have to walk by peter, you’d be out of his room in a second.

you peek up at a flash in the corner of your eye, your shirt was outstretched and pushed into your hold. ‘if you can’t see mine, i can’t see yours.’ your chest doesn’t feel as tight, he’s not mad, just a little thrown off.

‘i���m sorry.’ you’re still shy when you meet his eyes, even if you’re fully clothed. ‘but like, i didn’t tell you i wasn’t a virgin.’

peter crosses his arms over his chest. ‘and you didn’t tell me you were until it got too real.’ he’s right, your shoulders slump, isn’t it just embarrassing? not even the lying, just the fact you’re in college and you’re still a virgin.

‘i just thought it could get it out of the way, i don’t know.’

peter scoffs, ‘well, you don’t do it like this.’

does that mean he’s off the table, did you shoot too high? ‘so, you don’t have sex with virgins?’

‘it’s not in my day to day schedule, no.’

‘you’ve never taken a girls virginity?’

‘did i say that?’

‘no.’ it’s unsettled emotion, it’s the only reason you huff and cross your arms at him. yes, make this his fault.

‘i thought you’d be the perfect candidate, but i guess not. i didn’t know frat boys actually cared this much.’ if peter wasn’t going to kick you out before, he would now. you offended him.

‘the fuck? sex is a whole different ball game when you’re a virgin. you don’t know that yet, i do. it’s my job to make sure you’re comfortable and have a good time, that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t tell me.’

you started something, he wasn’t stopping.

‘i’m not saying there aren’t guys like that out there-that’ll do what you want, but it’s not me. if you want to get it over with like that, fine. but i’m not doing it in one night.’

you naw on your bottom lip, if you got this far what’s one more question? ‘so, would you?’

‘would i what?’ you chew harsher, it was easier to just pretend you weren’t a virgin. you shouldn’t never stopped him. ‘take my virginity.’ you spit the words, before he could try to repeat himself, ‘i mean, at your speed or whatever.’

peter has a series of emotions run through his mind, they all tell him it’s a bad idea. the heightened emotions, the awkwardness, the whole hurt thing, he just never really thought he’d have to go through it again.

‘you don’t know me.’ it should be more than enough, but you counteract him. ‘i know. that’s kind of why i chose you.’

a deep inhale, ‘you baited me? was this your plan?’ you try to clear the idea with your hands. ‘no, no, no! the plan was to not tell you but then i got scared. but since you already know… you know?’

‘no.’

you drop your head into your hands, everything is getting worse. you should’ve went through with it. ‘everything is awful and i want to die. i’m so sorry, peter. we can just forget this ever happened and if you see me around campus, no you don’t.’

you try to paint yourself invisible, instead you get a half earnest sigh from peter. ‘alright, look, you’re fine. it’s fine. you’re actually… strides ahead than i was when i was a virgin, okay?’

of course he says that, he’s already been through it. ‘but im too old to be a virgin!’

‘pft, what? no. have you seen 40 year old virgin?’ you cry out into your hands, ‘im not steve carell!’ you really had to pick a man? was that really the only option you had?

‘be honest with me, the pathetic virgin-‘

‘stop.’

‘- if i do this with another guy will he know?’ you hold on tight for the answer, it’s not long, it’s immediate. ‘yes.’ you’re not sure if he’s just saying that so you don’t throw off another guy.

‘no, seriously. would he-‘

‘yes.’ you exhale a ‘fuck.’ game over, if you really wanted this, you’d actually have to find someone to date you. that sounds like actual hell.

since you’re already in the pits, ‘peter?’ a hum, you finally blink up at him. ‘are you sure you won’t do it?’ you watch him take a solid breath, his next words chosen articulately.

‘when did i say i wouldn’t?’

you explode in a smile, you were right, you chose the right person. ‘you will? like, you’re gonna make me not a virgin?’

peter thinks- no, knows it’s a bad idea, but you’re going to do it regardless and he knows he’s better than a majority of guys on campus. he’d actually make sure you’re safe and comfortable. was he really about to do all the first steps with someone he didn’t know?

yeah. he was.

‘yes. i’ll take your virginity.’

[irl-morros-account]

Stop stop stop, stop LAUGHING at me. What the FUCK do you mean--?

Oh....oh fuck,, I dont-- I don't even care. That's almost worse. I don't want to-- AGH

I just saw Wu. I just saw FUCKING Wu. HOW IS HE HERE WHAT IS HE DOING, FUCK NO ABSOLUTELY NOT

[joey-smack]

i csnt stop laughing where the fuck am i

[psychicwavementality]

Always remember that we are faggots and we assign characters as faggots for ourselves first and ourselves only. Faggot on my fellow queer for the flames of your cookery will join the flames of Chiitan’s personality in one grand inferno. Amen and et cetera.

I CSNT STOP LAUGHING WHAT THE FUCK HELP ME INCNAMZJLA

THE FLAMES OF MY COOKER WILL JOIN THE FLAMES OF CHIITANS PEROSNALITY IN ONE GRAND INFERNO GOODBYE FAGGOT ON MY FELLOW QUEER HELPPPPFvvbdwhjx,??

[othercrossee]

Wah

[penelope-garcia]

on anon bc i am embarrassed but seriously, who would fuck papa palpatine? 😂

DEADASS like I know he fucked in legends but of all the things to take from legends (which Disney has actively ignored till now) THEY CHOSE TO MAKE THAT SHEEV FUCKS CANON......WHAT ASDJDKSKDKSL

[chronicowboy]

,

[baperizer]

why did this guy send me a dick and i didn’t know and i opened it right in front of my parents..............................

[abused-kid]

There’s something really fucking bitter yet comforting at the same time about mutuals caring about me more than my own fucking friends ever have honestly

[tajadors]

@neopolitan-parasol

(x)

[thaliasthunder]

grecia reading The Trials of Apollo #1: the hidden oracle

first impression: the covers of this saga look actually dope

"My name is apollo. I used to be a god" hi sweetheart

"I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy." can u shut the fuck up

WHO TF IS LAST-NAMED PAPADOPOULOS IM CRYING 💀💀

A four thousand year old god being afraid of a 12y.o girl? this is amazing

“I know someone who might help. He lives on the Upper East Side. Take me to him, and I shall reward you.” let it be who i'm thinking of please 😭😭😭

"Zeus did not answer. He was probably too busy recording my humiliation to share on Snapchat." Help me 💀💀

“Let’s find Percy Jackson.”' WAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭

"For children blessed with an immortal parent, they were strangely sensitive about their backgrounds." this bitch didnt just say blessed

"the young man swung open the apartment door and said, “Why?” As usual, I was struck by his resemblance to his father, Poseidon. He had the same sea-green eyes, the same dark tousled hair, the same handsome features that could shift from humor to anger so easily." PERCY MY BELOVED SON, MY FIRSTBORN HI BABY BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

"sacred sybil" ??? "Are u cursed?" what the actual fuck apollo 😭😭

“The war ended in August. It’s January.” percy is 17 im gonna fucking SOB 😭

sally finally got to write her book <333

"He smiled, and some of that old demigod mischief twinkled in his eyes." STOP 😭😭😭

“Some of the best demigods have gotten their start by blowing up toilets.” *sobs in the lightning thief* 🤧

"I did not like the way she was grinning at Percy. I didn’t want the girl to develop a crush. We might never get out of here" LMFAO everyone falls in love with my boy i know he's so gorgeous he's stunning he's mesmerizing 😭

Because Poseidon 😭

“I keep thinking, I have now killed every single thing in Greek mythology. But the list never seems to end.” “You haven’t killed me yet” “Don’t tempt me.” percy is so done w apollo's shit 💀

"The calmness of his eyes, the smile resting easily on his lips, the way his hair curled around his ears…" oh? look at that! im sobbing!

"crotchkicker mccaffrey" I CACKLED

WAAAAAAAAHH NICO HI MY BABY 😭

significant annoyance

"they were so cute together it made me feel desolate" istg 😭😭

not paolo's arms JFJKFKS 💀💀💀

"She's a communist!" JFKFKDJF THIS CSNT BE REAL 💀

apollo sayin' gay relationships w gods can also have children might be the best thing i've read

MY CHILDREN KAYLA AND AUSTIN ARE MISSING WHAT

paolo got his leg sewed for god's sake 💀

will being a doctor in charge and nico his little nurse this is good food

rachel elizabeth dare my redhead beloved so pleased to see u again !! <3

rachel jealous over apollo having more oracles bestie pls 😭

apollo using meg's rings as a necklace </3

apollo's thoughts about daphne in the woods oh the poetic tragedy of a lost love <\3

"rhea's laugh reminded me of a piglet with asthma" HELP ME??💀💀

who's the emperors??? nero??? caligula??? commodus?? TELL ME

OH IT'S NERO

apollo's melancholy singing for daphne & hyacinthus <\333

'“Sing. Sing like you did before" "I—I can’t. My voice is almost gone.” Besides, I thought, I don’t want to risk losing you again.' man dont do this to me 😭😭😭

"I love the Internet! It is impossible for me to fade completely now. I am immortal on Wikipedia!” i DID SEARCH THIS DUDE, sorry apollo 💀💀

MEG WHAT DID YOU DO

"Artemis shot me in the groin because I was flirting with her Hunters." JDFKDFK GO BESTIE💀

"I stared at my beloved Dumpster waif. Yes, somehow over the past week she had become beloved to me." awe 🤧

The dryads & zephyros helping apollo in the woods <3

"Will, Kayla, Austin. Come with me" "And Nico. I have a doctor's note" boi ur doctor's note only consist on being by will's side 😭😭

WAAAAAAAHHH MY OCEAN BABY BOY IS HERE 😭😭

"I wanted to flirt with Chiara and steal her away from Damien…or perhaps steal Damien away from Chiara, I wasn’t sure yet." this dude is so painfully bisexual it kills me 😭

percy & rachel together again it's been so long since i read them interact <3

MY FIRE BOY AND MY GIRL ARE BACKKKK 🔥🌿

they're beating the shit out of my boy leo 💀💀

"When they first saw each other, Percy and Calypso had hugged awkwardly. I hadn’t witnessed such a tense greeting since Patroclus met Achilles’s war prize, Briseis. (Long story. Juicy gossip. Ask me later.)" DUDE YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME

"piece of torta" help. also my water boi & fire boi giving each other a high five 😭

apollo, leo & calypso walking together to the amphitheater <3

more of my reviews & reactions of the rrverse books here: percy jackson & the olympians, the heroes of olympus, RRverse mini stories

[ilovefandoms102]

Rudy’s gf feeling self conscious about her costume but rudy comforts her and shows her how sexy she looks

You really wanted to go as something sexy this year, but with how good everyone else was looking it made you second guess your choice.

You picked a sexy nun bc Rudy had begged you to pick that one, he said he wanted to ruin his innocent girl(which he already did but just the idea was hot). You were super excited at first bc Rudy was excited and you wanted to feel beautiful and sexy, even if it was just for one night.

You were already at the party, fidgeting around in the corner waiting for your boyfriend. You felt so ugly compared to the other girls, they looked flawless as always. You were looking down at your shoes so you didn’t see Rudy making a beeline for you when he arrived. He was practically drooling when his eyes landed on you.

“Well holy shit, you look fucking hot” he grinned, sliding his arms around you. His hands went straight to your ass making you even more self concious.

“No I don’t Ru, you don’t have to lie.” You sighed as you pushed his hands away but he didn’t budge.

“Why would I lie to you? Whats wrong?” He pouted, nuzzling his face into your neck.

“I feel so ugly compared to the others” you admitted and his head shot up.

“What the fuck baby? You look so good, csnt you feel how hard I am for you?” He exasperated as he brought your hand to feel his manhood.

“You are everything but ugly, you are so beautiful my love. You’re so fucking sexy I had to make sure drool didn’t come out of my mouth when I saw you.” He smiled when you giggled. He got an idea and pulled you to the closest bedroom in the house.

“Ru what are we doing?” You asked bud quickly got your answer when he suddenly shoved you on the bed. He crawled on top of you, stopping to dip his head where your very prominent cleavage was and kissed his way to your lips.

“I want to show you how sexy you are my baby” he whispered, a shiver running down your spine.

He only removed your undies so he could fuck you in your costume. He hit so deep it had you screaming in no time. He growled in your ear how hot you were and how much he loved you.

It didn’t take long for either of you to cum, both of you tightening up as your highs washed over you. He face went to your cleavage where he shook his head between your boobs to bury his face there.

“That tickles Ru” you laughed as he continued his movements. He pulled back and smirked as he descended down your body.

Rudy ate you out until you had to push his head away from how many times you came. You thanked him with a blow job before making your way back to the party.

[vixxeroni]

.

[omegawolverine]

i csnt think of anything 2 talk abt but ur creepypasta postz have me brainrotting;;;;; spare some headcanonz bestie??? 🙏🙏 any character ;P /nf

yuhhh lets fuckn goooo (sry this isnt much, my wrist is fucking killing me and i dont wanna make it worse)

laughing jack:

-dumb nonbinary clown, he/they/fun/pop/pierrot pronouns

-mans is like. 6'11", maybe taller idk. big big dude

-big fan of babymetal, drives everyone in the mansion fucking crazy by playing them All The Time

-kpop fan. does the likey choreo while sleep walking. jeff has decked them in the face on numerous occasions bc he was startled by jack doing this

-has parasocial beef with pennywise the dancing clown bc "i could do his job better"

slenderman:

-gay ace single dad who keeps his kids on leashes (theyre his tentacles) when they go to their local monster grocery store

-hello 8ft+ king. hits his head on door frames even tho the mansion is supposed to be scaled to twice his size at least

-gender has not been unlocked but he'll take any pronouns or gendered terms, could not care less, literally has zero preference

-has made a chore chart for everyone in the mansion but the only ones who stick to it are toby (needs schedule or he will die), eyeless jack (former college student who knows how to Adult), sally (likes helping) and jane (not an asshole, despite her reputation)

-really into bad sitcoms, it fills everyone in the mansion with rage. stop watching seinfeld peepaw.

clockwork:

-certified friend kisser, loves giving the homies a lil smooch

-she/tick trans girl, isnt huge on labeling her sexuality but will call herself queer when people ask

-can play a handful of instruments (violin, piano, guitar, maybe smth else idk) but is really into electric guitar

-the worst at makeup but that wont stop tick from putting on the shittiest eyeliner and getting hyped by half the goddamn house

-collects pokemon cards like a youtuber who has something to prove by spending millions on a kids game