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sakanoshitaa · 3 days ago

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part six | part seven | part eight

you cannot for the life of you find the bag full of clothes for donation anywhere in your garage. you packed it a few months ago and you swore you set it between a stack of boxes by your washer and dryer. you really need to reorganize this place, it's not funny anymore.

you had just put the trash and recycle containers at the end of your driveway for pick up in the morning and with your garage door still open you searched and searched and searched for that damn bag of clothes. but it's a pointless endeavor. you're officially a mess.

"hey," law's voice makes you jump about a thousand feet into the air, a sharp yelp leaving you as you turn to face him. your heart hammers in your chest from the scare and your hand flies to your chest to settle your breathing.

"oh jesus, law, you scared me!" law doesn't laugh like you expect him to. he's not the least bit amused. instead he looks tense. you'd argue even maybe angry. his presence is larger than usual. it's unexpected, so much so that your spine straightens and you shift awkwardly in place.

"is everything okay?" you ask, trepidation settling into your voice. law's shoulders immediately sag. his head falls forward slightly. but he doesn't seem exhausted like he usually does after work. something else is wrong.

"yeah, long day," he answers, taking a single step towards you. his stride is long. he cuts the distance between you almost in half. you involuntarily take a step back. the door to enter the house digs into the space between your shoulder blades since you never closed it earlier. you feel the cool air of your home against the back of your neck.

"did you wanna talk about it?" your question rings a bit hollow. if he wanted to talk you absolutely would, but law doesn't seem like he wants to come in for a cup of tea and some chatting.

"no, not really." the distance divides itself again when one of his steps turns into another. you're frozen when his eyes meet yours. his gaze is intense, hungry. you feel like cornered prey about to be devoured.

"that's okay," you swallow. "i made curry for dinner if you wanted to come in and eat. you're probably hungry."

law is so close now. your head is angling to stare up at him. his expression is stern. determined. his breaths are even, but the rise and fall of his chest is noticeable. heavy.

"thanks, but i don't really have an appetite right now."

"ok," you nod, unable to look away from him. "did you still wanna come in?"

his arm extends over your shoulder and his chest is nearly touching you, but not quite. he smells like freshly cleaned laundry and leather. his cologne is stronger tonight. intoxicating. he presses the button to close the garage door and it starts to shut with it's usual grating noise.

"you need new tracks," he says simply, leaning over so that his nose brushes your temple.

"i know," you whisper meekly. this is so different. the air is thick. so thick that every time you swallow you fear you might choke. the tension is palpable. like two magnets waiting to snap together, but being held back by an unimaginable force.

you straighten again where you're pressed against the door, but this time when you shift your face towards him your nose touches his cheek. you hear his inhale. it's a short, sharp sound. like the contact shocked him. he's just so tense. his shoulders are tight and his breathing seems forced. and when your eyes track over his face, you can see how pinched his eyebrows are.

"law?" your hand rises to rest tenderly on his chest, just your fingertips touch the soft fabric of his black t-shirt.

"yeah?" you try not to shiver at the roughness of his voice.

"are you sure you're okay?"

"i..." his free hand finds your waist and his fingers waste no time gripping you. "i've been thinking about you a lot today."

"oh?" you tilt your head, your palm flattening against his chest. "what about me?"

"just you," he says. his forehead drops to yours. his exhale mingles with your inhale and greedily you swallow it. "and about how much i've come to need you."

"need me?" you doubt law needed anyone. so this confession surprises you.

"yes you," he finally releases a laugh and it feels like you took a shot. an alcohol-like warmth bursting in your gut and blossoming deep in your belly. you know what this is. desire. primal and raw. "i missed you."

this confession is softer. but just as heavy as it sits on your shoulders and just about buckles your knees. law missed you.

"it's only been a few days," you tease, but it's empty. there's no joke hidden beneath your words.

"what? i can't miss you?" his head drops to your shoulder and his nose drags across your collarbone. you fight the urge to drape your body around him. to succumb to the carnal energy that's pulsating off of him in steady waves.

dear god, he's hardly even touched you and you feel your pulse start to race and something flutter expectantly between your legs.

"law." you can't help but whisper his name. it's full of disbelief and need. you don't want to get your hopes up, but this feels like the moment. the moment that months worth of tension and anticipation has built up to.

and strangely, you can't fight your nerves. every lick of confidence you've gathered over the years disappears. every fantasy of you romancing and seducing law into your bed vanishes. you were a vixen, a temptress, a siren in your dreams of him.

but now you just feel painfully human. wracked with nerves and trembling desire. you had no idea what to do. or where to start.

"you say my name a lot." his words are damp against your skin. a flurry of goosebumps travel up your neck when his lips graze the sensitive skin there.

"what?" your fingers curl slightly in his shirt. your eyes are shut. you don't even remember closing them.

"i like the way you say it," he explains, pressing a brief kiss to the base of your throat. you're being seduced in this reality. a victim of his lust.

"you always say it differently. sometimes it's a gasp or a sigh." he pauses to kiss you again. his lips travel up the column of your neck.

"my favorite, though, is when you're annoyed." his chuckle is dark and humorless. and you sigh out something pathetic. "your voice drops and it gets all firm. and you look up at me like you're about to roll your eyes but you never do." three more kisses follow until his lips sit just below your ear. he's liquifying you and you have a hard time understanding how you even got here.

"you always bite your lip too." his face comes into view. his eyes are half-lidded. his gaze is dangerous. starving. he brings his hand up to cradle your cheek his thumb caressing your bottom lip and pulling them apart. "i don't even think you realize it."

"are you-" your voice is unrecognizable to your own ears. it's just air that your words barely ride on. you swallow again, eyes stuck on law's lips. "are you trying to kill me?"

he laughs again. truly this time. the sound comes from his gut and punches out his throat with mirth. even that glides down your spine sensually. you honestly don't know how you're still standing. maybe its the grip he has on your waist. or just sheer willpower.

"no, but you," his hand wraps around the back of your neck, pulling you towards him so that your lips are mere millimeters apart, "you've been torturing me."

"no," you shake your head. "that's where you're wrong." you rise onto your toes, both of your hands latching onto his shoulders. "you're the problem. you're the reason i can't sleep anymore without the thought of you in my bed. you don't understand how badly i need you."

his kiss is bruising. it clatters through you, pain blossoming on your bottom lip. but it's not enough. the dam has been broken. if you don't undress him this instant you might not live to see tomorrow. it's not an exaggeration. its fate.

your hands are immediately in his hair and his arms are enclosing around your waist to pull you flush against him. your feet are barely on the ground with how securely law is clutching on to you.

the doorframe shakes when law swings the door shut behind your tangled bodies. it makes chopper bark, but neither of you have the patience to pay him any mind. you're too focused on not tripping over each other.

your legs hit the back of the couch and his large hands find your hips. he pins you in place, most of your body propped on the edge as he towers over you. as he kisses you with a ferocity that has your toes curling. he moves to your neck again. this time any tenderness he was displaying before is gone. he bites you. your body jolts from the brief instance of pain, but he licks it right away. melting the pain into pleasure. melting your mind into a goopy marshmallowed mess.

you whimper and he groans. your legs try to hook around his hips and your arms try to tug him to lay down on the sofa. you're almost successful. he nearly follows you down and a spark of excitement lights low in your belly.

"no," he pulls away.

"but-" your petulance dies in your throat when his hand comes to rest at the base of your neck. there's no pressure in his placement, just the weight of his heavy hand makes your head spin.

"not here." his breathing is ragged. animalistic in a way. "i need more space."

one second your body is teetering precariously over the edge of your couch and the other you're floating. law scoops you off balance. your feet are on the ground but he's moving so fast you don't comprehend the cold tile rubbing across the balls of your feet.

another singular second passes, and your back is on your bed and law is tearing off his shirt over his head. you're reeling. this has to be another dream. definitely wet given the state of your poor panties right now.

next he's undoing the drawstring of your sweatpants. he pulls until the elastic waistband is loose enough to tug over your hips. you wiggle in an attempt to help him but you're kind of useless. law is half-naked in front of you and the sight of his muscles working to take your clothes off has your mouthwatering and your mind glazing over in awe.

what is he doing to you? you've never felt anything quite like this. it feels as if the world could end if you didn't have him as close to you as possible in the next five seconds.

once your pants are gone, law's hands are smoothing up your calves and over your thighs. his inked fingers are a particular interest of yours. they're just so solid and stable and sexy.

your fingers fist your comforter when his find the elastic band of your underwear. you hiss as his nails scrape sensitive flesh when they hook beneath the thin fabric.

his head snaps up at the sound. his eyes are wild and unfocused. you blink at him doe-eyed and helpless. your lips part to say something but you don't have the brain to formulate anything worth saying. you watch acutely as his face softens. as his expression finds the fondness you're used to.

"you can tell me to stop if i'm being too rough with you," he says apologetically. but there's nothing to be sorry for.

"don't do that," you breathe. "stop second guessing this. stop hesitating. please i just-"

you reach to unbuckle his belt and with shaky albeit determined fingers you undo his jeans. " i need you to please, for the love of god, just fuck me."

you can tell law has always lived a life of skepticism and questioning. of necessary control. you couldn't blame him really after knowing his past. but there is no use for it here. now. and you can see the moment that clicks into place in his mind. the epiphany writes itself like constellations in his eyes.

he shakes his head before he straightens. he’s looking down at you like you’ve done something incredulous. unbelievable. he removes his belt. the buckle clangs on the ground when he drops it. his thumbs loop into his open jeans. you cannot take your eyes off of him as he drags them over his hips until they fall to his feet. breathing is now a foreign concept. you don’t remember the last time you inhaled.

he’s hard in his boxer briefs. and he’s leaking through the cotton. you don’t know what to do. it’s like you’ve never had sex before. it feels new. tempting. as if you’re about to do something bad. sinful.

if law is the reason your ass ends up in hell then so be it. you would make this exact decision again and again in every lifetime. you rip off your shirt and toss it on the ground. law is still standing at the foot of your bed watching you.

“i would’ve put on something nicer if i knew you’d be coming over,” you joke, scooting backwards on your bed until you reach your pillows. you aren’t exactly self conscious, but again you’ve been fantasizing about this for forever. and a sports bra and boy shorts were never part of that fantasy.

“it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.” law finally crawls towards you. his weight sinking into your mattress. your bed isn’t as big as his. he makes it look absurdly small actually.

his hand wraps around your calf, the heat from his palm radiating up your body, and he yanks you down until you’re flat on your back again.

“you’re perfect just like this.” you’re certain you’re delirious now. he doesn’t necessarily say the words to you. his eyes are locked on his wandering hand. a hand that’s currently drifting over your inner thigh. your hips twitch.

he drops a kiss to each of your cheeks. then he peppers wet kisses down your jaw. his lips find your ear the moment his hand cups your pussy. “it’s not like you’ll be wearing anything for long, anyway.”

his teeth nip at your earlobe and his fingers find the wet patch on your underwear and he presses against it. the moan that falls from your lips is borderline pitiful. he seems to relish in it though. it spurs him on as he continues his onslaught of kisses to your neck again. after so many times of almost sleeping together, you’ve figured out that law really enjoys your neck. not that you can complain. because every time his lips suck right at the spot behind your ear you turn into putty. it’s a special button only he has access to. a button that has even more slick pooling in your panties.

he must feel the way you soak through them because his fingers start rubbing against you. and shamelessly every time he makes contact with your clit you can’t stop the way you rut against his fingertips. his lips descend down over your collarbone and he mouthes at your cleavage. he groans when your hips jump as he swipes his tongue beneath the constricting fabric of your bra.

“this is fun.” he’s referring to your sports bra, his breath a small chuckle when he notices that it’s the kind that zips in the front. law decides to unzip it with his teeth. meanwhile, you decide he has to be a demon. something sent to both please and punish you. for what you aren’t sure yet.

when your bra falls away and your tits are exposed to him, his mouth is enclosing around your nipple in seconds. it’s warm and you gasp. he’s not being rough but he’s not being gentle either. he’s just being a man who ultimately is getting what he’s been wanting for who knows how long.

as his mouth occupies itself with your chest, his fingers go on an entirely different adventure. he manages to shimmy you out of your underwear with positively no help from you because your brain is no longer sending signals to the rest of your body. but when he parts your folds, when he finally feels the absolute mess he’s been making of you, his groan sends a shock through your system. in truth, it’s more like a purr. it’s low and deep and reverberates through his body straight into yours.

you whimper. it’s embarrassing and unexpected. but it doesn’t give him pause, instead two of his fingers are sliding into you. so easily you should be ashamed. he makes it hard to be though.

“sometimes i don’t understand how you’re real,” he murmurs into your chest, his words are slurred around your nipple.

“i swear you’re just so-“ he starts to scissor his fingers inside of you and the sticky wet sounds hit your ears so loudly you nearly cringe. you undulate your hips in the hopes that his fingers will at least graze your g spot, but law is one step ahead of you. always shifting his fingers away just so whenever he comes close to feeling the spongey tissue.

“please,” you really aren’t above begging. and maybe that’s what he wants. except it doesn’t help. he’s toying with you on purpose. “law, please.”

“again,” he demands, but you don’t know what he wants. you only know what you want. what you need. and the answer to both is to come.

“say my name again,” he says when you don’t respond. he lifts his head from your breasts, both covered in his spit. the same spit that moistens his lips. “come on, baby. say it and i’ll give you whatever you want.”

to sweeten the deal he presses his thumb to your clit. you jolt beneath him from the dual sensation. if he keeps this up he’ll force an orgasm from you and he barely has to do anything. his fingers aren’t even moving inside of you anymore yet you feel like an exposed wire. sparking and twitching under his attention.

“la-aw,” he hooks his fingers inside of you, effectively slicing his name in half. your eyes nearly roll back but they don’t because looking at him is so much better. his broad shoulders and handsome face are the only things taking up your view. he starts rubbing his thumb in insistent circles on your clit and his fingers push against your g spot in a carefully coordinated attack to unravel you. you knew law was good with his mouth but his fingers. he must have known you in another life. that’s the only explanation for how quickly and easily he’s hurdling you to your finish.

“that’s it.” you squirm at how harsh his voice has gotten. it’s dropped an octave and it forces a shiver to rattle down your spine. “fuck, look at you. such a pretty girl.”

his gaze lights fires across your skin. the flames lick at you, fierce and brutal. you can’t stand it. it’s too much. just as your orgasm hits you turn your face away from him, your back arching and you inhale so abruptly it dries out your throat. you muffle your cries into your comforter. your vision flaring with spots before it goes completely black. his fingers still wiggle inside of you even as you come down. he wants to wring every last drop of pleasure from your body. and it’s working.

your back meets the mattress again. your cries whimper off into choked breaths. your vision slowly, but surely returns to you. but he’s still moving. you grab his wrist with weak fingers, barely mustering the energy to push him away.

“i can’t,” you whine, sighing when his fingers slip from inside you. “holy shit.”

you peek up at him through wet lashes and heavy eye lids. his breathing is ragged, and you follow his gaze down to his hand. he’s spreading his fingers to see how your cum strings between them. he’s mesmerized. he brings his hand to his mouth. his eyes fall shut when he licks you clean off of him.

he’s a liar. he absolutely is trying to kill you.

without another word he’s slinking off the bed. you don’t have it in you yet to question what he’s up to. instead you watch as he gathers his jeans from the ground and pulls his wallet from one of the pockets.

“shit,” he swears, eyes screwing shut as he shakes his head. you’re confused. “i forgot to grab a condom.”

“oh.” and you giggle, your heart settling down and the endorphins give you that fuzzy feeling again. you lean over off of your bed and reach for the cabinet on your nightstand.

“that’s okay. i have some.” you toss him the unopened box. he spins it in his hands, reading it over with the most amused expression on his face.

“when did you get these?”

“last week,” you admit. “after you left for work.”

“right,” he nods, “of course you did.”

“don’t give me that, you’re lucky i’m prepared. if not i would make your ass go to the nearest pharmacy and pick some up tonight.”

he laughs again as he tears open the box, throwing it onto the foot of your bed after he pulls out a condom. he kicks off his underwear while he’s there too. and a sudden surge of giddy excitement courses through you. out of nowhere a flurry of energy starts drumming within you.

law is actually about to fuck you. it’s hard to believe. after so many close calls you don’t want to jinx it but you know this is it. you throw your bra off the bed having forgotten it was still on from earlier and you wrestle your comforter out from beneath you to situate your body under the flat sheet.

law is looking at you peculiarly.

“what?” you deadpan.

“why are you laughing?” you hadn’t realized you were.

“just get over here,” you grab his arm and jerk him so hard he practically falls on top of you. you throw the blanket off of your naked body so that law could get beneath it too. “i’m just excited, i guess.”

he’s laying between your parted thighs now. this is the closest you two have ever been and it feels so natural. his weight on top of you. his face a few inches away. his scent mingling with yours in a drunken dance.

law can’t stop the smile that tugs at his lips as he looks down at you. he drops a brief peck to your lips before he begins to line himself up with your entrance.

“wait.” his tip is actively pressing into you when he halts in place. “i’m nervous.”

“are you alright?” his eyes are concerned as he brings his hand back up to push the hair from your face and caress your cheek.

“yes.” weird emotions are building in your chest. feelings that are far scarier to admit out loud. it feels like an end of a chapter, but also like the beginning of a different book entirely. “but why do i feel like this is my first time?”

he actually scoffs, his head drops down and he sighs your name so heavily maybe the exhaustion of the day has finally caught up with him. “do you think before you say things or do you just say them?”

“listen i’m very vulnerable right now and honestly i came so hard a few minutes ago i think you broke me.”

“i didn’t break you. look,” he pokes at your side and you flinch away. his fingers tickle up your waist and you writhe while trying to suppress a laugh. “see you’re not broken.”

“you don’t get it,” you giggle lightly and swat his hand away when it gets way too close to your armpit.

“for what it’s worth,” he drops to his elbows, most of his weight now bearing down on you and he rests his forehead on yours. “i’m a little nervous too. i’m just way too hard right now to focus on anything other than the fact that i’m about to be inside you.”

“so you’re also excited?” his words are worth all the treasure in the world because your nerves evaporate. as if they were never there at all.

“very.” he kisses you. soft and slow. his tongue slides across your bottom lip and you part them immediately. as your tongues glide against each other you sneak a hand between your bodies. your fingers make contact with latex, and your wrap them around his dick as soon as you’re able to reach. he gently thrusts into your palm. his tip slips between your folds in a languid grind.

you rub him against you until his kisses are interrupted by his own stuttered exhales. when you open your eyes you see how his face is scrunched up and how his breath leaves his lips in quiet wheezes. ok, fine he really does look tortured like this. a small thrill shoots down into your stomach when you realize that it's because of you. you do this to him.

you line him up, tilting your hips towards him just as his head catches your entrance and during the next roll of your hips he sinks into you. the stretch has your head falling back and he groans against your cheek.

"fuck, baby, you feel so good," he moans right into your ear and with another roll of your hips he sinks deeper into you. "s'tight, fu-"

your own moan cuts him off. you're still sensitive from your first orgasm, and law's cock is actually made for you. he fills you up perfectly, thick enough to make you drool. his thrusts start out shallow as you adjust to each other. his hand has found your hip, his fingers digging into your fat and you know-- hope-- that marks are left behind when you wake up in the morning.

control is only yours for a few more moments though because law's hips start to find a rhythm of their own. each slap is heavy and deep. each one scoots you further up the bed until your head brushes your headboard.

you hardly feel the dull thuds though. not with the way law hooks your thigh over his elbow and presses your knee towards your chest.

"shit," your nails dig into his bicep as you try to withstand how deeply he's fucking you. the pillow beside your head crumples beneath the weight of his forearm when his hand comes up to rest between your crown and the headboard.

"sorry," he apologizes hurriedly, "for this." his pace quickens, your eyes roll back, and his hand gets tangled in your hair.

"harder," you gasp, your thighs attempting to shut around his waist. his legs bend at the knees and it lifts your hips from the bed. the angle allows him to fulfill your request. and a sob claws its way out of your throat.

"i'm gonna cum," he grunts out between gritted teeth, his face buried in the space between your neck and shoulder.

"inside?" you whine, hopeful, even though deep down you know he's wearing a condom. how unfortunate.

"yes, love," he rasps, his thrusts getting slightly faster as he gets closer to climax. "if that's what you want i'll give it to you."

"yes, yes, please, fuck, ple-" if you're crying that's none of your business. you can't possibly control anything right now. your body is completely his. and you gave it to him willingly. with no intentions of asking for it back if he continues fucking you like this.

you only regret one thing. not being lucid enough to witness law's orgasm with your own eyes. you hear it, feel it, but when your second one quakes through your trembling body, you miss seeing it.

your limbs are numb. your thoughts are murky and disjointed. when he collapses on you, you welcome the weight of him like a security blanket.

"that was..." law can't even finish his sentence. not that he needs to. because you know what that was. it was euphoric. your own sick form of exaltation.

you follow his warmth when he eventually rolls off of you. you paste yourself to his side. and in the quiet moments of bliss that follow, law's hand draws comforting symbols down your arm and across your spine. sleep is somewhere nearby. you feel her whisper at your senses to rest. but you're too greedy to let go of this time with him. not yet. you'll sleep later.

"thank you," he whispers into the top of your head. not really loud enough for you to hear, but it's so silent and you're so attune to him that it would've been impossible for you to miss it.

"the last time you thanked me, you avoided me for days," you complain, burrowing your face into his chest just in time to feel his laugh rumble through him.

"last time was different," he pauses, and you could hear the contemplation in his tone. "last time i was an idiot who should've kissed you good night."

"oh, so this time you made sure to get what you wanted," you teased, your finger gently poking at his side like he did to you earlier.

"this time i realized that after a shitty day all i wanted was you. however you would have me." his hand is tilting your chin so that you're looking up at him. and all you can see in his eyes is an earnest devotion. one that settles over you so intensely you're not sure if alarm bells that you're in too deep are supposed to be going off. "being with you like this is just a bonus."

"well," you sit up so that you're propped up on his chest. "are you gonna tell me why your day was so shitty?"

he sighs, his lips pressing into a thin line as he thinks. "i almost lost a patient today. everything is fine now, but it's moments like that that have me question if holding someone's life in my hands is worth it. feels like i'm gambling. like i'm tempting fate somehow."

“when was the last time you lost a patient?” you ask, your fingers making odd shapes over his heart.

“it’s been a few years,” he sighs. “but that fear never really leaves you.”

“it sounds to me like you’re incredible at what you do and that even with the scare today, you still managed to save a life. tempting fate is what we do as humans, you’re just better at it than anyone else.”

he gives you a small smile. and in his eyes you can see the reflection of something you know you hold in your heart. a type of fondness that transcends simple companionship. he leans forward to kiss you. it has none of the lust or desperation from earlier. but something even more tantalizing. something that you used your fingers to spell out on his chest. just four quick letters that you etch superficially into his skin like a secret.

"i called off tomorrow,” he responds eventually. his hand is propped behind his head as you both relax in each others arms.

"oooh, i'll play hooky with you,” you say, giddiness returning at the prospect of having him all to yourself for an entire day.

"good, because i have big plans for you in the morning,” he twists so that he’s facing you, his arms looping around your waist and pulling you further into his chest.

"care to share?" you ask, already knowing what your plans are for him. all of which include little to no clothing.

"mhmm, you and i..." he leans in really close, his nose nuzzles yours and his lips brush featherlight between your own, "are cleaning out that fucking garage."

you groan. your head falls back and you playfully hit his chest with a loose fist. “i told you it was bad.”

"it’s worse than bad. if i wasn't so distracted i probably would've dropped from a heart attack." and although he’s scolding you, when you try to pull away he chases you.

"ok, drama,” you roll your eyes, turning around so that he’s spooning you. "just don't wake me up too early unless you amend your plans to include rolling around in my sheets again."

"i'll consider it."

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sakanoshitaa · 8 days ago

Note

RAAAIIIN I'm zooming in for your drabble from a prompt + character post, but please ignore it if it doesn't spark joy/you already have too many to work on!! 💗

"a story in reverse" + itoshi rin

send me one + a character and i'll write you a drabble

─── �� A STORY IN REVERSE

itoshi rin; sfw, angst; divorce, unhappy marriage, magical realism

day 376.

"it was never supposed to be like this," rin says. there's a fist the size of a human heart squeezing inside his chest.

you take a breath, smile a smile that looks like forgiveness (or worse -- understanding).

"yes, rin -- it was."

day 365.

"i'd like a divorce."

rin blinks at you, the words sliding off his skin like water off a duck's back, his comprehension of them tenuous at best. he opens his mouth; no words come out.

you let out a sigh that sounds much too heavy to be echoing out of a body like yours and drop the papers on the dining room table.

"just... look them over and sign them, okay?"

rin sighs, setting down the flowers on the table next to the papers. you stare at them and the card clipped to the ribbon printed with the loopy words -- happy anniversary.

day 291.

"you stopped trying --"

"no, i didn't --"

"yes, you did -- you're never around -- god you're like your brother -- is that it? you wanna be him so bad that you're ghosting your family too?"

you bite your lip as the air suctions out of the room, and suddenly, the bedroom is a vacuum, and rin's open suitcase a canyon too deep and dark to cross.

rin's mouth thins, his fingers like pale daggers as he reaches for a shirt he'd just set on the bed. with slow, methodical movements, he picks it back up and places it back into the suitcase.

you pick at a hangnail on your right hand, wincing as a bead of blood wells up against the skin.

"rin, wait --"

the lock on his suitcase clicks.

day 218

"i miss you."

"i know, i miss you too."

you sigh, stifling a yawn as you watch rin tug on his soccer jersey.

"gotta go, we're starting soon."

you swallow passed the torrent of words pressing up against the back of your tongue.

"sure. yeah."

rin sighs, "i'll call you after."

you glance at the clock, "i'll be asleep."

he makes a vaguely impatient noise. distantly, you can hear someone speaking to him as he glances off screen with a nod.

"fine, i'll --" he pauses, "message me when you're up then."

you nod, pursing your lips around the words -- then you'll be asleep.

"sure, yeah," you say again, feeling the a dark, cold pit coalesce in your stomach. "good luck at your game."

at this, rin scoffs, a lopsided smirk tugging at his lips, the light in his eyes sharpening to something like lust.

"don't need it, but thanks anyway."

day 182.

"i thought you understood --"

"and i thought we mattered more to you --"

"we do but i told you -- soccer's always --" he cuts off.

you sigh, crossing your arms, "right, right."

a moment passes, and then, both of you soften at the exact same time.

"i'll try harder to be --"

"i'm sorry, i just miss --"

you both pause, caught a word before the end of your sentences, eyes wide, mouths open.

another beat, before both of you fall into a fit of helpless laughter. he reaches for you; you fall into him. his fingers in your hair, your arms around his waist.

"i'll try harder to be around."

"yeah," you say, nuzzling into his neck, feeling the warmth of him expanding in your chest as your body settles in next to his, "i know."

day 141.

"what do you want for breakfast?"

"mm... something with sea bream."

you laugh, glancing over your shoulder, "we do have leftover rice from yesterday -- i can make ochazuke --"

rin grins, looking up from the sofa, his eyes like seaglass in the crystaline light.

"that sounds amazing."

day 112.

"where do you wanna go for our first trip?"

"first?" rin blinks, "we've been on tons of trips before."

you roll your eyes, grinning, "yeah, but not as a married couple." you exaggerate your pronunciation and he cocks his head.

"how does that change anything?"

you pause, staring. then, you let out a tiny laugh, "nevermind -- but i still wanna go on a trip."

"yeah. we can do that."

day 100.

"sorry i couldn't be there for our 100 days."

you shake your head, running a finger along the petals of the flower bouquet sitting on your table.

"no, it's okay -- i know being a professional athlete means you have to travel a lot," a pause as you lean forward to press your nose in to the flowers, their sweetness filling in your lungs. you pull back and glance back at the phone screen, to rin's face, his rumpled hair -- it's nighttime where he is, and probably way passed his bedtime.

"i do miss you though," you admit.

"yeah. i know. i miss you too."

day 88.

"i didn't know i could love someone as much as this before i met you."

you turn towards rin in the rising dark, his face is cast up towards the ceiling of your shared bedroom. you twist to loop your arm around his middle.

"yeah? i thought no one could ever compare to your love of soccer," you tease.

rin hums, "i don't know. i... didn't used to think so. sometimes, i still don't but... i'm not as sure as i used to be."

you nod, "it's okay, we've got forever to try and figure this out."

day 47.

"itoshi-senshuu -- how is it being a married man?"

rin stares at the reporter for a long second before he answers --

"being married doesn't make me a better or worse player. but... family is important."

the reporter lets out a nervous laugh, "yes... that's true, but that wasn't -- anyway -- thank you for your amazing performance today."

day 31.

"where do you see us in 10 years?"

rin shrugs, "like this, but older."

you laugh, letting your head fall back onto his shoulder as the pair of you cuddle on the couch.

"yeah? you don't think we'll be those like... estranged older married couples who sleep in different rooms?"

rin frowns, his eyes flashing with a midnight dark.

"no. i don't."

you giggle, "yeah, you're right," you say, spinning the ring on your finger, admiring the way it catches the light, "we've both just gotta work to make sure that never happens, right?"

rin drops a soft kiss to your shoulder.

"yeah, right."

day 1

"and do you take this man, itoshi rin, as your lawfully wedded husband?"

rin blinks at you from across the walkway; there are white flowers braided into your hair and your lashes are gemmed in tears -- the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

you smile, nod, and lean forward, even before the officiate says so, and say --

"yes -- gods yes -- i do."

day -8,766

there's always been a wood beyond the protective glow of the back porch's lone, luminous light, the darkness lingering and skittering, trailing in the shadows of the great lunar moths that fluttered against the windows in the summer.

rin knew he was never to go into the woods alone.

"there's a fairytale 'bout a well in the woods that grants wishes if you toss in a really round river stone."

sae's voice makes rin swivel around. he frowns at his older brother, head lilting to one side.

"how'dyou know?"

sae only stares. "cause i've done it."

"does it work?" rin's eyes are ocean-wide and just as clear. sae turns away.

"dunno, but you've gotta give something up in return if you make a big wish."

"oh."

"why? what would you wish for?"

rin turns with a big, childish smile, "to beat you at soccer one day!"

sae scoffs, "dumb dumb -- what're you gonna give up in return for that, huh?"

rin shrugs, "dunno... but... whatever it is, it can't be better than soccer!"

at this, sae laughs, reaching over to poke at rin's forehead with a single finger. rin giggles, peering up at sae with round cheeks the color of ripe peaches.

"what... what did you wish for?"

sae's grin sharpens as a patch of cloud shifts away from the surface of the moon and light pours down onto the back porch, illuminating the planes and ridges of his face, gleaming in the dark turquoise of his eyes.

"to be the best soccer player in the world one day."

rin licks his lips, "and... what did you give up?"

sae turns away as the cloud shifts back, tossing his face into a curtain of shadow.

"the person i love the most."

rin swallows, frowning. he scuffs his feet against he old wood of the porch top and wonders who that might be. he huffs out a breath, turns to face sae with a determined look on his face, the lines carved there far too deep for someone his age.

he jabs a thumb into his chest as he says --

"fine, then that's what i'm gonna give up too!"

#aaaahhhhhhhh biting my fist #going back to dialogue after reading the ending…#reader asking rin if he wants to be like his brother that badly. like well. unfortunately.

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