#i could rewrite it all if they let me
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I am sorry to hear that the depression has stolen your spark.
I want you to know that you are the sole reason I gave Skyward Sword a chance. Your art was so beautiful and compelling that I just had to know about the media it came from.
Your art introduced me to an incredible community that years later, I am still benefitting from. Your art was the gateway, and I've always been thankful to you for that.
I hope your spark realights, and I hope you can kick depression right in its ass.
i- i did that????? qoq
yes im reviving old reaction pictures
i hope im not ruining the mood bc .. this legitimately made me tear up and i kept thinking of this ever since receiving the ask-
but bc i cant keep my mouth shut (i apologize if you are already well aware of all this i just .. like to talk i guess), i ... idk i have said this before but i feel incredibly conflicted about demise (am i allowed to like him??? do i even like him when i changed him so much??? am i a fraud fan????) and the game he comes from, i .. dont actually like skyward sword that much, or, not as much as it may seem like (my favorite is windwaker, second is botw), every now and then i even feel guilty for demise being my blorbo tm- as much as i love him im under no illusion what his introduction to the series did, the games lore is not .. great, it seems to have kickstarted the decline of the series writing and completely torpedoed any sort of fandom discussion by making zelda a literal reincarnation of the good tm gods of love and light and peace and everything good tm uwu and pit her against an evil demonnnnn that just crawled out the earth one day (??) and was only evil and bad and dark and hate incarnate an hated the good tm gods bc hes jsut so eviiiil, it gave rise to the utter dissmissal of any sort of ganondorf related discussions (funny how it only seems to apply to ganondorf, and none of the other villains hmmmmmmmmmmmm) bc, while not confirmed confirmed (though the fandom likes to pretend that), hes now widely seen as a reincarnation of demise and thus, doesnt need nuance or be given any grace or thought bc apparently when you say someone is a demon (or its reincarnation, which i dont believe ganondorf is, to be clear) that means its fine to not give them any thought bc demons are just evil tm and thats ok and good writing actually (wat????)
(if you take skysw as canonically how it all went down bc my interpretation makes it all be a fabricated lie so the gods can play their little games, there is no godess reincarnation, that was a lie to make way for an opressive kingdom belivieing itself to be irrevocably good no matter what they do etc)
it also cheapens any of the past entries, all of them have been flattened by this, why disscuss ganondorfs motivation lol, he just be a demon/demons puppet, zelda could never be wrong or do bad things bc she literal incarnation of goodness uwu etc- (and then totk, only the second game after skysw, retreads its points and makes it even worse while ALSO trampeling over that game imo)
i dont like saying it, but i do feel a little alienated even from ganondorf fans (i love him too!!!!!) bc they hate demise, and rightfully so, it feels weird having your main blorbo be the reason your second fav is constantly done dirty, why you cant even talk about anything critically bc 'iTs jUst a sIMpLe fAiRytALe' now and part of the reason the lore in general has gone to shit, and i dont know how much i can talk about that before i become an obnoxious 'well ACTUALLY my blorbo, who is the reason for all this, is ALSO done dirty and im gonna explain away the bad stuff via my completely noncanon reinterpretation-' guy, or if i already am what im doing with destiny is like .. my way of trying to fix it and make it interesting again? though at this point i guess im falling into the category of people who change their blorbo so much that there really isnt anythign left of the og, which worries me alot, though i wonder if thats even possible given how little there is to him in the first place, i so often see viral posts that make me feel guilty or conflicted for the way i work with media, "actually my blorbo did all those crimes and thats good you all who need to explain away the bad things are weak and annoying!!" "people who change their favs until they barely resemble the character anymore should just make an oc instead!!"-
i dont know if i take these types of posts too literally, i dont know when or how they apply, but it always circles around in my head, i know not everyone can like what you do, but i want to work with the material i have in an interesting way, not a puritanical way (or however you call that), its not in my mind every second, but it nevertheless makes me doubt what i do with my fanworks anytime i talk about them-
... this wasnt really the point of the message was it ... apologies, i hope not every ask will devolve into a sort of mini rant ;__; i dont mean to invalidate what you said, (and im not saying skyward sword is all bad, its full of charm, from characters to designs, just the lore is .. damaging) it is incredibly touching bc me or my art having a positive impact on people blindsides me every single time like "WHAT??? IMPOSSIBLE you MUST be thinking of someone else, no way i could do that", when something gets brought up my thoughts just kinda start pouring out, i thought about deleting everything i wrote, but then felt like that wouldnt be as genuine anymore (i am not normal tm after all and im long past a point pretending otherwise) and have wasted another hour for nothing, so im gonne leave it in and hope, pray even, it comes across correctly
q-q
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i guess i have a problem with things that could be interesting but arent#i couldnt really think of anything to do with windwaker though its my fav zelda game#but to reinvent the whole lore the entire franchise is based on is my thing!!#and i hate totk like no other game yet i keep making art for my rewrite of it#i guess its the thing that drives people mad#when something is bad when it shouldnt have been#or in case of skysw its like .... ok you gave me room to recontextualize literally everything here i goooo#i really hope they dont try to put anything before skysw#i like when something doesnt have a lot of lore bc it lets me be creative with everything while still fit it to the rest#i think this ask was more mant to just be a compliment#but when im given an opening i WILL talk bout whavetever is occupying my mind#and i saw multiple people talk about skysw so ... thats that i guess#also .. just letting myself talkabout doubts and stuff is just kinda .. distracting from everything else#and i need to stop playing stardew bc my thumb nd eye hurt when i woke up so ... mandatory break#already planning to do too much for all these asks .. gotta force myself to just answer#and not plan out the most elaborate drawings ever in an attempt to give back as much as i can to the ppl who sent them#bc i cant! do all of that! argh!
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Uuuugh vehement antishippers are so annoyinggg 😑
#and since when is damijon on their shit list??#the prompt i got asked for them specifically AND i was aging them both up to be like. late twenties/early thirties bc future fic#and now i gotta rewrite 4k bc the event mods said 'erm that's not allowed actually'#like. ill put up with it bc it's for charity. but i still think shipping discourse is stupid#ig i just figured i could ignore it bc in general i ship shit that's pretty standard#but now im just like 😶 ok. cool. maybe be more specific about what kind of content you're not willing to provide instead of the vague#'proship content not allowed' like goddamn#anyway now i gotta go think up a new plot for this prompt and rewrite 4k fml#\vent#idk how to tag this but i'm actually so annoyed. like. eye rolling levels.#seriously i was writing a 29 y/o and a 31 y/o together it was actually the most whitebread 'unproblematic' thing in the world uuuuuugh#whatever it's for charity. WHATEVER. i will let the annoyance flow through me. i will stop giving so much of a shit.#twitter beef is the mind killer etcetera etcetera all that jazz
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i dont even wanna post anything anymore can someone just dm me to yap about their hp (optional) nextgen (also optional) headcanons please
#like i have no ideas anymore sorry#i want to doom scroll on tumblr but nextgen fandom is absolutely dead so it keeps feeding me marauders content 💀#like help i cant be on tiktok or reels anymore im gonna go insane#let me doom scroll dms please i will take any and all rants 🙏#harry potter#hp#hpcc#cursed child#scorpius malfoy#albus severus potter#scorbus#marauders#tagging all my popular tags. bro really thought she could sneak the marauders in here 🙏💀#rewriting#watch me say this and then get back to posting in the next 8 hours LMFAO
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“what happened to him?” “he read a book so bad he returned it to the library a third of the way through, but now his brain won’t stop chewing on the potential it had 😔”
#f**rth w*ng isn’t even a case of “this would be so good if it was good”#but it is unfortunately a case of “this would be such epic catnip for me if it was good”#i fear i may have to check it out again and hate-binge it to get it out of my system#ugghhhhhh i’m not even gonna enjoy a single minute of it#but i need to convince my brain there’s nothing there! it was never going to get good! trust me dude it wasn’t!#negativity#i just want to pick it up from the start of the bonding scene and rewrite it completely#without the fuckin. deus ex machina all-powerful mythic rare ancient dragon#and without any intervention from xaden#and just focus on violet and the feathertail#i read the wiki and that kiddo has TIME MAGIC?#yeah fuck off you do not need anyone else’s help#with TIME MAGIC and a bonded human who has even an ounce of competence and brainpower#you do NOT need a fuckin legendary dragon’s help#that could’ve been SO COOL C’MON#you’re really gonna build the whole core of your story around how Violet is not strong but has a sharp mind#and then get her out of her tight spot by introducing a BIG STRONG DRAGON#instead of letting her work with the tiny smart-but-not-strong dragon????? come the fUCK on#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it could’ve been so cool#ughhhhhhhhhh and then the first flight was the most fuckin lackluster bit of storytelling i’ve ever read#like yeah cool okay i love how she’s having to work with Tairn to keep her seat. that part was fun#but then the fucking handwave of “wow it’s amazing being on a dragon’s back”#you could never be toothless and hiccup#god#anyway#had to get my rant out#it pisses me off when dragon stories are bad XD
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See the thing about me is like. I genuinely enjoy reading people's critiques of DATV more than actually playing DATV and I don't know what that says about me but it definitely says something.
#ramblings of an arrow#arrow plays dragon age#see the thing is is that it's. fun for me.#that said I am about to go play the actual game#but like damn I fucking love discussing the Problems and how things could have been better#and like seeing ppls ideas for rewriting lore to be less. Like That.#its like fuck yeah lets all hold hands and participate in the act of creation together#that said I am sitting here trying to decide between continuing my first playthru#and making a 3rd Rook#god do I miss the deep sociopolitical aspects of the previous games tho#that was.... my favorite part#was it done well? no#some of the time yes#a large chunk of it no#but I dunno man I just like... Thinking. about these things....
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Bottom right sequence reads “and when I move out—,” —> “yes. I’m sorry. I l-… love you too. Thank you.”
Now with more art !
So all this reincarnation talk for @tswwwit ‘s masterpiece has me throwing My little familiar au idea in the rings but its no where near as sweet or interesting as @kitty-serenade ‘s but if you like angst, hear me out!
Imagine a Dipper reborn with The Mark and what are his parents supposed to do? They love him sooo much they can’t possibly let him enter the Real World and be taken away by some Vile Demon!
So… they just keep him inside. They shelter him. They manipulate him and put him down all to keep him cooped up and ‘Safe’.
They care about his well being enough but… well who wouldn’t want to be known as the parents who Won against Bill Cipher? Like imagine the worst rich people ever who can’t Possibly be abusive of neglectful cause they give their baby anything he wants! They’re such good parents! Bill won’t stand a chance!
Dipper’s so broken down and rubbed raw by the constant emotional abuse that he has No concept of what living a life for himself might look like. In his eyes, he’s been trapped living the life he’s expected to lead to make his parents happy but ultimately, apparently, he’s also promised to a demon a few years down the line.
Like think of the possibilities here. Dipper who doesn’t have any Real knowledge about what Bill is and why he’s coming, he only has the info his parents have given him about how Bill will control him and take him away to do his bidding and possibly even Torture him!
Think about a Dipper who’s so dissociated and detached from his life as he realizes that he’s simply not meant to live a life for himself and that’s something he’s Never going to get.
Then you throw in Bill, who’s going to show up and rescue his sapling from this fucked up weird emotional monstrosity of a place that just Reeks of despair only to find? Unlike all the other pinetree’s he’s come for these past centuries this one… is… compliant? And imagine Bill, being reminded of a Dipper just as unresponsive and depressed from the very first time they met only now he has No Idea what has caused such a huge break in character.
No matter how much pushing and prodding Bill gives, Dipper just doesn’t budge, waiting for the inevitable. And Bill is such a narcissist that he doesn’t realize that his speech pattern Also affects Dipper’s reactions. ‘Hey Sapling, I wanna explore the woods let’s go.’ ‘Pinetree I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not worth it let’s not even bother.’ He’s doing and suggesting things he knows Dipper would like and help cheer him up but… unwittingly taking any choice or input from Dipper away. Think of it as a learned don’t speak unless spoken to kinda trauma. Bill’s not doing anything wrong! He’s just… not getting any results.
It would be such a fun concept to play with in a really heartbreaking way. Imagine a Bill who’s finally relinquished his hate for the word love, who might on occasions let it slip just for a shock factor, uk for funsies, only to come across a Dipper who recoils at the very thought because he’s simply never seen it, and thinks something like that doesn’t get to people like him.
Imagine Bill, suave and rich with the universe at his fingertips offering Dipper love and glory and curiosity, only to find out that Dipper’s family had also showered him in ‘love’ and ‘riches’.
Like… imagine thinking Bill would just say well fuck it I guess I’ll wait for the memories to kick in and then live out the rest of this lifetime when it comes, cause he wouldn’t. Imagine a Bill so frustrated and angry tearing apart his realm for /anything/ that might give him a real direction to step forward cause all the usual things he has at his disposal aren’t gonna cut it this time.
Bill who begrudgingly starts asking the questions. Real Genuine Questions that usually tumble from his saplings mouth that he can give witty clapbacks to serve as banter. Dipper being the one to give the sarcastic and clipped remarks cause he’s so guarded against this unknown even though… maybe things aren’t that bad. He starts to unwind ever so slowly as Bill learns how to properly interact with him in a way that’s beneficial to both of them.
Just… Bill coming across a Dipper that’s been through the ringer in way’s Bill never anticipated. Even if he’s found Dipper alone or at wits end, he’s always had a fire and determination. He’s always had his spirit in tact. Bill being angry and upset about the reincarnation deal for the first time /ever/ cause he hates seeing that people hurt the one thing he loves in the entire multiverse and unraveled Dipper like a cheap sweater. Like the emotions and story you could weave for this that’s fundamentally about Love and Learning and never hesitating to do whatever’s possible to make things Work.
Like grgrgrg just a Bill who’s being faced with a Dipper who’s been abused but not in any way Bill’s encountered. Dipper who’s suffered abuse of the MIND. Which is Bill’s entire domain! The one thing in the universe that’s his fundamentally! And he has absolutely no power here. Bill who wants to reach in and fix and help for the First Time and struggling not only with his inability to do anything, but with the urge to help and fix in the first place. Bill who has to take care of Dipper the Human way and just grits through it cause dammit it’s worth it. Just man come on.
#bruh no way tumblr glitched on me and i lost half of this and all my tags#and had to rewrite it#anyway#this got really long guys my bad#i just think its neat and ik the familiar au isnt angsty like this#but hurt comfort is my favourite thing#and ive been thinking about this for a while#just like… bill being unconditionally in love and having that proven over and over again no matter what#dipper having to let go of hope in order to survive even if as just a husk of who he was and who he could become#dipper learning to wakeup again and live for himself#like just learning and growing and loving#relinquishing hoplesness#idk man it#it just sucks being trapped#maybe i just wanted to see a story like mine with a happy ending#bi.f.art#bill cipher#gravity falls#human bill cipher#billdip#dipper pines#gravity falls au#tswwwit’s familiar au#tswwwit’s reincarnation au#also i apologize for it being very ooc#i have a headache
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thinking about it after the movie. dear evan hansen couldve been so much better if it was a black comedy
#like imagine how funny it would be if it wasnt so serious. like the premise makes your mc look like a villain why not lean into it#like what if instead of trying ti make it about mental health play up the pathological lying and ghost parts#what if the entire musical is still about the lie escalating but its increasingly ridiculous every time#evan has to look a grieving family in the eyes and tell fhem of their torrid gay love affair. can you imagine#and then you can have connor's ghost show up only to evan so he looks likehes losing it#but then right at the end he reveals himself to everyone and is like ''my life sucked so bad i cant leave so i had to make you guys suffer-#- as my final unfulfillef wish. now that you want to kill yourselves i can finally rest'' and he goes up to heaven. can anyone hear me#they should let me rewrite all 2019 era musicals from now on amen#i could do bmc justice i prommy
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twitch
This is the song I sang about Bad Grief when we passed the $200 fundraising milestone (at around 3:28:00 in the Daniilionaire marathon). Lyrics under the cut :-)
The Scourge of the Gorkhon Town (by rathologic, after "The Star of the County Down")
By a warehouse south of the park in the Mouth That September that went awry From an alley free came an NPC And he smiled as he passed me by
He looked so grand from the knife in his hand To his skirt and his short red hair Such a coaxing elf, sure I shook myself For to see I was really there
From Stamatin’s Loft to the Bone Stake Lot And the Polyhedron’s crown No maid I’ve seen like the red Bad Grief That I met in the Gorkhon town
As he onward went, sure I scratched my skin And I coughed with a feeling rare And I say, says I, to a passer-by "Who's the Bound with the bright-red hair?"
He smiles at me, and he says, says he "That's a vile and heartless clown Grigory Filin, from the criminal village He's the scourge of the Gorkhon town."
From the Abattoir to the Stillwater And the Polyhedron’s crown No maid I’ve seen like the red Bad Grief That I met in the Gorkhon town
At the Humble square he’ll be surely there So I'll dress in protective clothes With my bandage right and my saint in sight For a cure from my bright-red rose
No meat I'll smoke, no bulls I'll yoke Till my veins they are rust-colored brown Till a healing gleam, in my own bloodstream Flows the Scourge of the Gorkhon Town
From the Tadpole Yard to the Broken Heart And the Polyhedron’s crown No maid I’ve seen like the red Bad Grief That I met in the Gorkhon town
From the Shekhen yurt to the Theatre And the Polyhedron’s crown No maid I’ve seen like the red Bad Grief That I met in the Gorkhon town
#part of this highlight is skipping near the last verse for me... LET ME KNOW if that's not just on my end it should all be there#daniilionaire#bad grief#stream highlight#the 'coaxing elf' line was the one I could NOT rewrite to be gief specific... I'm glad it came up early in the stream ¬ when my voice#started to take damage haha. have a really bad dry throat in the aftermath today. most fun time I've ever had :^)
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Fun math/counting problem for everyone
Okay so I know this will only be interesting to like maybe one other person but I came across a fun counting problem I wanted to share. For a given number of digits, n, how many numbers have a unique sequence of digits up to permutation? (So to be explicit about what the question is asking, 15 and 51 would both count as the same digit sequence since the digits of 51 are just a permutation of the digits of 15. Also, leading 0s are also included in the number. For example in the four digit case, 15 would be written as 0015.)
If you’re at all math inclined or like number puzzles I do genuinely encourage you to try to figure this question out yourself partially because it's fun but mainly because I’m curious if anyone else can come up with a different/better solution than I did. I'll put my solution under the break. It's half informal proof (making it more rigorous is an exercise for the reader or w/e) and half just like a guided solution. If you're familiar with manipulating sums and can read basic math notation (if you're unfamiliar with the notation when defining the function, don't worry about it, it really doesn't matter I just think it looks pretty) you should be able to follow (hopefully, unless i've done something terribly wrong).
#channel 3#sorry if my solution makes like 0 sense#i've been thinking about this problem for a couple days now#and then i spent too long today writing and rewriting my solution#because originally my goal was to make this unintimidating and easy to follow even if you don't have a lot of math knowledge#but then i realized that was probably a moot goal#(mainly in that i don't think my math communication abilities are that good. i'm sure someone else could do it)#so i just wrote it closer to how i normally write proofs just a bit more conversational/informal and probably less straight to the point#(but i've never been good at going straight to the point with proofs anyway)#and i've sort've gone down the rough draft spiral and can't tell if it only makes sense because i've written it so many times#all that being said if i wasn't clear about something or if you're curious about something let me know and i'll do my best to explain#also if you do have an alt solution let me know!#i know there /has/ to be some solution involving the fact that the diagonals of pascal's triangle are figurate numbers#or some beautiful proof that leverages the question's proximity to combinatorics better than i did
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i was genuinely planning to watch more of ratastrophe tonight but i started it, got to "[you whispered to unidingo: please don't die out there yet] I think their hunt is more successful if i'm not there" and my phone case literally fell apart in my hands. so.
#whisp whispers#i do have so many thoughts about that. the transition from 'i want you alive for the lilies' to 'don't die yet' is so. hm#i could disect the way fishie acts about her allies i think it's so.... this is the first time really she seems to accept they will die#kikis season one death was obviously devastating. space's should've been expected tbh but it also sucked. and then moch... i mean.#moch dies and fishie suddenly gains a very strong sense of her own mortality. it's not from being on red. she was on red and said it felt#better. and then moch died. and she ran.#i honestly don't remember much of fishie s2 because i watched it all in like a day maybe two and haven't rewatched any of it since. but#again she seems so. convinced she and dingo will live. she is so unbothered when dingo dies and is more shocked than anything by the tunes#and season three. look how well the lilies are doing. and then dingo dies. and then moch dies. and then moch dies again. and suddenly death#is real to her. it's an inevitable. it's not something they can ignore anymore death will happen to them and it hits fishie the hardest#please let me revive you. please. please. the words of someone who did not get to process death before it happened. and then it's 'yet'.#it's not 'don't die' it's 'don't die yet'. death is something that will happen now. and if fishie wins then. god. i think that would kill#her. if she's standing out there alone. death is a very real thing now isn't it.#im hoping for a fishie win it does seem like fishie won. but i still don't know actually#they should let oku win for funzies#these tags could be their own post but i'm not rewriting them so. meh#edit hi i totally forgot about the 'without me there' bit. beastlife fishie not blame herself for death challenge (impossible)#i think the way she blames herself actually ties directly back to the whole refusing to acknowledge mortality thing. she's so surprised when#people die as if she's not in the death games. should somebody tell her she's in death games
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Hi, after your last post I wanted to let you know some of the new aspects of your story reminded me of a few antisemitic tropes and wanted to let you know in case you weren't aware. Here are excerpts from wikipedia's articles on antisemitic tropes and blood libel:
"Reptilian conspiracies, prominent in ufology theories, have also been linked to anti-semitism,[59][116] as "a very old trope with disturbing links to anti-immigrant and antisemitic hostilities dating to the 19th century."[117] Conspiracy author David Icke suggests numerous Jewish political figures are reptilian shapeshifters and "the Jewish Rothschild family is part of a bloodline of reptilian humanoids that secretly control the world".[118] Critics contend these theories to be antisemitic, although he denies animosity towards Jewish people.[117] Other far-right ufologists speculate that the Jewish race originated from genetic engineering by malevolent extraterrestrials engaged in interstellar conflict with Anunnaki or Pleiadians.[119]"
"Blood libel or ritual murder libel (also blood accusation)[1][2] is an antisemitic canard[3][4][5] which falsely accuses Jews of murdering Christians in order to use their blood in the performance of religious rituals."
There's no ill intent behind this ask I only want to bring this to your attention. Phrases like "the elites", secret groups pulling strings behind the scenes and controlling the economy, experimenting/killing innocents to acquire eternal youth are all parts widespread antisemitic tropes/conspiracy theories and I hope you understand my concern seeing them in your story.
Hi! Thank you so much for sending me this, genuinely. I definitely am aware of those tropes and how harmful they are, but I seriously didn’t realize I was playing into them with my own story.
For a little context, this was my perspective on those plot decisions:
Partly, I wanted to play into the idea that corporations control society and often one parent company will own a lot of smaller companies across industries. With Nancy Landgraab’s character specifically, I see her as representative of the extremes of capitalist rhetoric - aging is vilified, you must constantly be bettering yourself/optimizing yourself, etc. I acknowledge now that phrasing like “eternal youth” doesn’t necessarily have the connotation that I’ve intended.
Another big focus of my story is integrating my original characters with the premade characters of the Sims universe - linking all these characters from different Sims worlds was my way of establishing a connection that will allow me to pull in new characters later in the story, hence the “secret society” that spans across the whole world.
HOWEVER all of that being said, my intentions are only as good as the way they’re being received. I can totally understand the connections you made to all of the tropes you referenced, and I’m now thinking through ways that I can adjust my story to be framed differently. If the original Anon or anyone reading this who feels similarly has thoughts or ideas that they’d like to share, please send them my way! There’s also definitely the possibility that the plot I’ve thought out is too reliant on these harmful tropes, and it may be worth evaluating whether I should be telling this story at all.
#thank you again for reaching out to me in such a respectful way!#it’s honestly a wake up call that even though I feel well-educated on antisemitism and examples of harmful media#I certainly still have a lot to learn#I also hope the last bit doesn’t sound too much like ‘tell me how to fix this’#because I don’t expect that at all! I just feel like a collaborative discussion of how it could be better would be helpful#both for me and other readers/writers#ok that’s all I have to say right now - I will let you all know if I decide to rewrite the post or just redirect the story going forward#for now I’ve turned off reblogs on the most recent post just in case
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Honestly I’d really like to make some kind of MLP AU or redesign/rewrite or whatever else of the sort because MLP was essentially my first fandom and it’s extremely nostalgic to me, but I’ve seen so many people do it already and have found myself physically incapable of producing something that isn’t blatantly copying what other people have done :/
#and yeah yeah I know that nothing in the world is truly original and everyone’s inspired by something#but I want to make smth that isn’t rehashing what I’ve already seen#and it’s hard bc redesigns and aus are kinda all the rage right now#and no I’m not talking about those infection aus bc while those are really cool and I’m not interested in making my own#I’m a really squeamish person. to the point I even avoid sick fics most of the time#so while I enjoy seeing a lot of those aus because I too had a creepypasta phase and it reminds me of cupcakes and rainbow factory vibe-wise#I’d probably throw up if I had to draw smth like that myself 😅#anyway. what I meant is some kind of rewrite where I’d get to explore themes that interest me more#maybe dig a little deeper than the earlier seasons of the show could afford in certain places#like coming up with a clearer reason for aj’s parents’ deaths. for instance#and also making next gens is basically my modus operandi at this point so while I’m not really interested in making kids for the mane 6#I’d like to redesign them + their families to get to play with genetics a little.#but again. I’ve seen a lot of redesigns over the years and I’m afraid they would influence me too much for my liking#only reason I’m so worried is because last year I did doodle some ideas a little. for the CMCs in particular#and suddenly realised they were basically the grand galloping 20s au designs poorly drawn from memory in my style#and any ideas re: redesigning the actual pony species are essentially ripped off from skyscraper gods#as are some concepts about becoming an alicorn/gaining immortality and all hat#so… yeah. no#idk. I’ll think about it some more and maybe I can come up with some cool ideas that I can string together in some way#it might be really fun and would also give me a chance to let my sotrl hyperfixation rest a little#don’t get me wrong. I love the universe Kat and I created and my OCs and everything. but I’ve been going at it non stop for almost 4 years#sooner or later it’ll burn me out and I won’t be able to come up with anything for it anymore#and I literally don’t draw anything BUT sotrl#so it’d be nice to branch out a little. maybe I’ll finally feel less like I’m screaming into the void with my incredibly niche OCs#again. I don’t know. we’ll see if I’m struck with inspiration or smth#also coming up with ideas is like half of the problem lmao. horses are really hard to draw#even cartoon ones 😭😭 I was hyperfixated on mlp for most of my childhood and still never mastered it#I can barely draw humans lower than shoulder level let alone horses. but I’ll figure it out if I get a concrete au idea#okay I’ve been rambling for like half an hour. rant over I’m done
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argh. i sorely miss writing as much as i used to, but the flow of it feels all wrong since i started having to do it exclusively on mobile and it sucks. maybe it's just time-and-distance-from-old-works goggles, but it feels like there's a noticeable difference for the worse since my hands went fuck and i hate how clumsy my writing looks to me now.
granted, maybe part of that is because i haven't written nearly as much in a long time and i just need to get back on the horse and shake off some rust, but man. doesn't feel good. i miss keyboards so much. :(
#whosebaby talks#medical issues cw#personal stuff#this post brought to you by 'i want to put out prompt calls again for various fandoms'#'but i feel horribly self-conscious about everything i've written in the last year plus'#'including things i was really proud of at the time'#i could write things and let them cook and come back to them weeks or months later to rewrite; and i think with some stuff i will#but prompts are something i want to be able to get out Quickly; and i both have zero patience to hold back when i'm excited to do a fill#and am :smith: because i used to be able to pound out prompts in like 5-10 minutes and still feel like they hold up a decade later#all of which is to say prompts are very much welcome; in particular for inscr/yption; lori/en legacies; rus/ty lake; and sd/mi#they warm my heart and i appreciate them; it just might take me a while to post them for self-consciousness/editing reasons
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look i’m not saying morgana was justified, okay. i’m not saying i condone murder, okay. i’m just saying she was 100% valid in everything she ever said or did and i would have made exactly all of the same choices myself. okay?
#bbc merlin#morgana#morgana pendragon#look if i grew up hating myself under an abusive father because he’s persecuting my kind#and the two people who knew exactly what i was going through and why gaslit me instead of helping#and one of my closest friends let me sit in misery all alone when he could have extended compassion#and told me we were going through the same thing#but instead he shut me out#left me in a position where i was afraid and vulnerable to anyone who could take advantage of me#by telling me the words i needed to hear#and then when i fell for the trap terrified of a mistake i couldnt take back#he cast me out and killed me for it#or at least he tried to#…..yeah i would have become evil too.#like 100%#she had a legit claim to the throne#and its not like trying to overthrow a king who persecutes your ppl is like. THAT immoral. is she consumed by vengance? yes.#but you could legit rewrite the whole story from morganas perspective and portray her as a hero and arthur as a villain.#without changing a thing in the plot.#*sigh* …… forever obssessed with the implications of what women are villified FOR#morgana deserved a monologue where she gets to go OFF at merlin tbh#morgana deserved a redemption arc
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this is pos!! your take on cheeteh z and how like none of his maps feature women is SO CORRECT like oouu,,,
hehehe thank youuu *twirls hair*
I feel like women in cheeteh z maps only have these personalities:
-dead
-missing for god knows what reason (mothwing and tawnypelt)
-evil
-mom
-camera (just a spectator, like squilf in serpent sol (she doubles as a mom as well))
like I could care less about cheeteh z and his *gags* ccu,,, but huh, it really makes you think
#wc fans really be like: the erins suck! let me rewrite it! *makes it worse*#hollyleaf in hollyfawn is sooooo uninteresting. you took away all of her good parts#also. the use of ccu is /neg. if that wasnt obvious#cheeteh. if your maps are being compared to marvel movies thats. not good!#i could go on but. i try not to think about cheeteh z and his maps too often now. gives me a headache 😇#anyways. theres this really good thread on twitter thats been going around recently about current map culture and.#*looks at cheeteh z*#haha.....#asks#anon#cheeteh please dont sic your fans on me. i Will cry
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um.. hello, you are not going to delete your first fic, right, aren't you? oh better download it and hid it from you and never show you again?..
no, i'm not going to delete it??? why would i do that????? why wouldn't i want to see it again?
i'm not rewriting it because i hate it or am ashamed of it. i don't think it's not good enough, either. i like it! i just started writing it when the series hadn't finished yet, and i want to write a version that can take things like the end of the divine tree arc into account.
i think it's going to be fun to have the old version up so that people can compare the two! i have some fun easter egg adjacent things planned for people who have read the old version. i want possible new readers to be able to look up those things if they want to, too!
the less noble reason why i want to leave it up is because it shows quite high up in the serirei tag on ao3 when sorted by kudos etc, so it's good advertising for the new version! especially if the new version won't get as much attention as the old version did, haha
i added clarifications to the fic summary and the rewrite notice chapter, so nobody else will be confused about this in the future.
also thank you for reaching out, it's nice to hear that people would be willing to donwload the fic just for them to keep if it seemed like it might get deleted! but rest assured, it will stay on the site, archived for future reference
#igotasked#i thought the rewrite notice covered all the bases but oop#didn't even know this could be a concern?#i guess some people do have a more tumultuous relationship with their work#but if i were going to delete the work#why bother announcing the rewrite on it and write the edit to the summary etc?#if i wanted to get rid of a work of mine and never see it again#i would just delete it with no fanfare whatsoever#but i have no reason to do that to any of my works#this is the opposite of deleting the fic tbh#my other option was to replace the old chapters with the new chapters#so finishing the old version with the notice and posting the new version separate actually lets me keep the old version!
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