#and ive been thinking about this for a while

[headspace-hotel]

This year has, so far, been for me a series of rapid realizations of what I have been unlearning.

I went to the library. This was a couple weeks ago. I knew I needed to read a book, fiction. I hadn't done so in over a year and it was the longest period of time I had ever gone without doing so. I made a rule: I would only pick books I had never heard of, by authors I had never heard of, and I would not do any preliminary research or even bother to look at what the book was about. I would make my decision on whether to read or not purely on my impression of the title, cover and opening lines.

The book was The Connoisseur by Evan S. Connell. It was kind of a random selection. I sat down with it in a corner of the library and straight up devoured it. I tore through the book within a few hours, without taking a single break. I was captivated. I couldn't put it down.

It is a book about a guy who buys a Mayan figurine in a knickknack shop while he's on a business trip. and becomes obsessed with pre-Columbian sculptural art. There isn't really much of a plot apart from this. He goes to sketchy antique shows, has conversations with museum curators, wealthy art dealers and forgers, and seeks to learn how to distinguish a genuine pre-Columbian piece from a fake one. It was written in the 1970's, so the views on Native Americans are antiquated and sometimes offensive, and there is the troubling thread of the very concept of looting another culture's treasures and treating them as collectibles, though the book is not without commentary on this.

All the same, it was a completely intoxicating read. The vicarious experience of becoming fascinated with a topic and having it unfold a whole world for you was ferociously gripping, and so was the intrigue of the art collecting world itself. The frauds, forgeries, smuggling, museums, academics, aristocrats, auctions and seedy flea markets. Will he ever be able to tell if a piece is "real?" Does it matter if it's "real?" Why does he want to own and possess a piece of art, and how does its "realness" affect that desire? The book leaves you not knowing what to think.

It is a book about curiosity, portrayed in the narrative as a totally unreasonable lightning bolt that strikes a man who has never been fascinated by anything and changes him forever. Why? Why does a Mayan figurine, in particular, speak to him? Why does any piece of art, or any fascinating thing in the world, speak to anyone? It is unknowable.

I went to the library again. I picked a new book using the same rules. This book was Fragile Beasts by Tawni O'Dell. Just like the last time, I was totally captivated. I couldn't put it down.

Did I have a couple major problems with the portrayal of some important aspects of the story? Yes. (It would make the post much longer to discuss.) Was I completely captured by and invested in the story for the time I was reading it? Also yes. The book braids together several very different strands-- the story of a legendary Spanish bullfighter and a wealthy American woman that he loved, two brothers stuck in an ugly family situation after their father's death in a car accident, and a rich old heir to a Pennsylvania coal mining fortune and to the sinister underbelly of her family's business.

There was a lot about baseball, which I know nothing about, and bullfighting, which I know nothing about, and I certainly don't know anything about being a teenaged boy who resents and mistrusts his estranged mother, or an aristocratic old lady who lives in a mansion and eats fancy Spanish food. It was fun to experience so much unfamiliar stuff and to care about things I wouldn't normally care about. Once again I couldn't stop reading until I had finished it.

I don't know that either book was "good," though I thought they were both well written; I just know that reading them was like being hooked up to an IV of something essential and life-giving and feeling it reanimating my body.

It had been a year since I had read any fiction, but it had been much, much longer since I had loved to read. As I became an adult I had become picky and critical about books, and developed a highly sophisticated sense of my taste and the books I considered good- which were very rare. My taste in books became so sophisticated, eventually, that I didn't like books at all anymore.

I had almost withered away from deficiency of that essential nutrient known as STORY. I'd almost crumbled myself into dust from pretentiousness! I may have been terribly wrong about the kinds of things I liked to read, on top of it. And I certainly hadn't realized that story was such an essential nutrient.

"Just entertainment" the pretentious sorts of people might say of a book they think is useless-- but what is entertainment but to absorb your mind in something, and what is absorbing your mind in a book but to experience things you would never have experienced? It expands you and makes you more complicated. It is the study of human existence itself.

Now all I have been able to think about today is finishing my work and going to the library again...

[wolvietxt]

hiiiiiii jay!! ive been having an unhealthy sleeping schedule lately, so i just wanted to know what you think frank would do if he catches you up pulling an all-nighter cause of some uni work when he came home from one of his missions. most especially, when you tell him you’ve done it for three straight nights while he was gone…

FRANK knew something was off the second he stepped into the apartment. it was quiet, too quiet, but not in the way that usually meant safety. the tv wasn’t on, no music played softly from your phone, and you didn’t come running up to him the second he locked the door behind him.  

his gut clenched.  

he slipped off his boots, careful not to track any dirt or blood onto the floor, and listened. he heard it then - the faint sound of typing. quick, rhythmic, desperate.  

with a sigh, he followed it, walking toward the kitchen, where the glow of your laptop screen cast shadows across your face. papers were scattered everywhere, some crumpled, some covered in highlighter. empty redbull cans were scattered around the tabletop. a half-eaten granola bar sat next to an empty coffee cup, and another coffee was in your hand, fingers curled tight around it like a lifeline.  

you didn’t even notice him.  

“sweetheart.” his voice was low, firm.  

you startled, eyes snapping up. he saw the exhaustion in them instantly - red-rimmed, glassy, dark circles bruising your skin.  

“frank,” you breathed, blinking fast like you were trying to clear your vision.  

he didn’t move toward you just yet, but he looked you over, taking in the way your hands trembled around the coffee cup, the way your shoulders sagged under the weight of whatever you were doing.  

“what’re you doin’ up?” he asked, though he already had an idea.  

“just… finishing some stuff,” you mumbled, eyes darting back to your laptop. “it’s nothing, really.”  

he glanced at the time on the microwave. 4:12 a.m.  

his jaw ticked.  

“when’s the last time you slept?”  

you hesitated, biting your lip, and he knew right then you were about to say something he wouldn’t like.  

“um … a little bit, here and there,” you finally said, voice too soft, too small.  

frank sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “baby.”  

“it’s fine,” you tried to reassure him, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i just needed to catch up on work. it’s been kinda crazy, and i thought, you know, since you were gone, i’d just - ”  

“how long?”  

your mouth opened, closed.  

he took a step forward. “how long you been doin’ this?”  

“…three nights.”  

his nostrils flared.  

“three damn nights?” his voice was sharper now, and you flinched. not out of fear, but because you knew how much he hated this - hated seeing you worn down, pushing yourself past your limits. you’d hate to see him disappointed in you but in your defence, you thought he’d be home a whole lot later.

“i just - i had to, frank,” you whispered. “i got so behind, and i didn’t want you to come back to me all stressed and falling apart, so i just - ”  

his hands were on you before you could finish, tugging you up and out of the chair, wrapping you up tight against him. you didn’t even realize you were crying until he sighed against your hair, feeling the dampness on his shirt.  

“sweetheart,” he murmured, voice rough with something heavy, something that made your chest ache. “you think i care ‘bout any of that? you think i want you doin’ this to yourself?”  

“i just wanted to keep up,” you sniffled, fingers fisting in his jacket. “i didn’t wanna be a mess when you got back.”  

he pulled back just enough to cup your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. his eyes, dark and tired but so damn full of love, locked onto yours.  

“you could be the biggest damn mess in the world, and i wouldn’t care. you hear me?” he said, low and firm. “don’t wanna come home to you runnin’ yourself into the ground. don’t wanna see you like this.”  

you nodded, lower lip trembling, and he groaned, pressing a kiss there, then another, then another, like he was trying to fix it, to erase the exhaustion, the stress, the weight you’d been carrying alone.  

“c’mon,” he muttered, tugging you toward the bedroom. “you’re done. no more of this.”  

“but - ”  

he shot you a look. “no buts. you’re gonna sleep.”  

you wanted to protest, but the second you hit the bed, exhaustion slammed into you like a tidal wave. you barely registered the weight of him next to you, pulling you against his chest, hand rubbing slow, soothing circles against your back.  

“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he whispered against your hair, voice soft, warm. “always.”  

and for the first time in three nights, you believed it.

ᰔ frank castle : @stvr-dust, @uncertified-doc, @erospecies

taglist form linked in pinned post :3

[malevessel]

THE GREAT HOST IV

It had been a difficult few weeks.

After the possession, I had a hard time getting back into my normal routine. Days went by and I still felt empty.

According to police reports, it was normal to feel this way, as if it were a side effect. However, my brother and my family were always there.

I had gone back to college, to the gym, I had started hanging out with my friends again... but it wasn't the same, I wasn't the same.

Despite my mother and brother's insistence, I had not stopped smoking, I could not. But it was not just an addiction, there was something else. A thought that remained in my head and scared me.

During the possession, Bob displayed a cocky attitude that I never had. But now, months after the incident, I think deep, deep down there were parts that I liked.

As I went out into the street, I lit a cigarette and headed to the bar where I had arranged to watch the match with my friends and my brother. Antón would come later, because he was training now. I walked around the city for a while, I liked the freedom I had. When I accidentally bumped into a man

Sorry man.

Don't worry, he replied.

There was something about him that looked familiar.

Without thinking much, I continued on my way. I briefly entered the market in the square next door, I needed to go to the bathroom. I put out my cigarette with my foot. I used to find it disgusting, but I had gotten used to it.

I walked around the market before going to the toilets. But while I was urinating, I heard the bathroom door close.

When I turned my head to see who it was, the man I had bumped into earlier was standing there, a dark smile on his face.

Hello again, the man said cheekily.

I see you've been working out. Those legs are wider than last time.

What?! I said

I have not seen this man before, what is he saying, I thought

I'm glad you took care of our body in my absence, Paul. It's a nice touch on your part.

Oh no, he no, please

Y-You

Me

Bob!!!!

In the flesh. Well, not exactly, I borrowed this one. But I like you better, you know what I mean, Paul.

Suddenly, Bob's real body emerges from the man in front of him, and he falls to the ground as if he were dead. Thank God, he was breathing, but Bob quickly approached me and placed his fat old hand on my chest.

Ready to go for a ride, just like old times?

I could only hear my heartbeat, I was paralyzed with fear and a feeling of oppression made me sweat cold as I looked at him.

[jamie-potters]

regulus black son of famous surgeon walburga black, has finally grown up and its his first day of internship at st. george. but then he decides to have one stupid one night stand, with who he'll find out works at st. georges as a nuero-surgeon, james potter. james potter, a world renowned surgeon, who has the biggest heart, and the most kindest smile. and regulus black, who wants nothing to do with him.

[nakylvr]

omg dealer!dani angst where a deal goes wrong and she either goes to jail or to the hospital and reader finds out through the news after not hearing from dani for a few days thinking she ghosted her!!! if she goes to jail reader posts the bail for her and if dani is in the hospital reader will be by her bedside everyday😭😭😭

dealer!dani comeback ✊ this has been in my drafts for a hot minute i apologize but here 🤲

– ECHOES OF SILENCE

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, language, established relationship, f!reader, dealer!dani au, injuries mention, hospitals

to say you were worried would be an understatement. the first reason being told to stay home from daniela while she went out to a deal with others. the second being she never came back. you tried texting, you tried calling, you even called manon and minji to see if they knew anything only to get no answers. worried wasn't the right word anymore. you were starting to freak out once it reached day two of not hearing from her.

your first thought is she's ghosting you. for what reason? you could never know. while she's never done it before, part of you wouldn't be too surprised if she randomly decided to leave and not bother responding. your next thought is that something bad happened. that's the only other explanation. if she got arrested, thankfully you had bail money in a safe. if it was worse? you didn't want to think about it.

on day three you finally got an answer. scrolling through the news section on your laptop, your body freezes when you land on a certain article.

altercation in downtown los angeles in a drug deal leaves 1 dead and 3 wounded, 1 critical

"oh my fucking god," you let out, clicking on the article to open the full page. you skim over it quickly before landing at the bottom where it says the nearest hospital was. you quickly get up and change into something more presentable, slipping your shoes on before rushing out of the apartment.

getting to the hospital was easy, making your way through the hospital was not easy. they told you what room daniela was in, but finding the room was a fucking mess with how big the place was. when you finally found the room, you stopped when your hand touched the door. '1 critical', you remembered seeing. obviously you weren't told her condition with you immediately rushing off the second you were told the room number, so you had no clue what you were walking into.

taking a deep breath, you slide the door open, and freeze in your spot. she was asleep, an iv next to her going in her arm, her arm in a sling, a black eye and other bruises scattered across her body. you hesitantly take a few steps forward, sliding the door closed behind you as you approach the bed, not being able to hold back the sob building in your throat.

daniela's eyes slowly open the second the sob leaves your mouth, and she blinks a few times before realizing it's you standing next to her. "yn?" her voice is raspy as she says your name.

the tears start falling from your eyes before you can think, your arms wrapping around the girl carefully while sobbing into her neck. "i was so worried about you, i-i didn't know what happened, yo-you never came back."

with her moveable arm, dani runs her fingers through your hair, her heart clenching at your cries. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to worry you," she says quietly. "i'm okay, i promise."

"you could've died!" you exclaim, pulling your head away to look at her. "y-you could've died a-and i would never know. i can't lose you, dani," your voice cracks as you speak, the tears still seeping down your cheeks.

daniela's hand moves up to cup your cheek, wiping away the tears that were still falling. "you won't lose me, i promise," she softly tells you. "i'm still here, i'm all in one piece, i'm okay. there's nothing to worry about."

"your arm is broken, dani," you respond. "and you look like shit. but i'm so glad you're okay."

"trust me, i'm glad too." she leans forward, pressing a soft kiss on your lips. "and now i can finally leave since you're here."

"good." you smile a little at her. "let's go home, we'll get something to eat on the way back. i know hospital food isn't the greatest."

"oh my god it's not even food i don't think!" daniela groans dramatically. "the only good part was the jell-o, seriously!"

you couldn't help but laugh at her words, nodding your head and patting her shoulder. "i'm sure."

a moment of silence fills the room before daniela speaks again in a quieter voice. "you're not mad, are you?"

"no." you shake your head. "but you aren't going anywhere until you're healed, and i mean anywhere, daniela," you tell her. "if someone is desperate enough for something, they can meet me outside the apartment. otherwise, no nothing until you're better, okay?"

"okay," she mumbles, nodding her head. "does this mean you'll be taking care of me the whole time?" she smiles a bit.

"don't get any ideas," you reply, already knowing what she was thinking. "you're the one who broke her arm."

"and you are my saving grace." she smiles wider.

"wow," you say, shaking your head. "are you concussed too?"

"nope, just in love with you," she answers.

"you're terrible."

"you love me."

[genderqueerdykes]

at one point recently, me and some friends were talking about this one satire account that was pretending to be a woman hating on men in similar ways to how men hate on women. and i mentioned that i couldnt tell it was satire because ive had women treat me that way before and one of my friends got like. angry at me? and said something along the lines of "this is something that barely any women actually do and men do WAY more so its not the same". it just felt really really hurtful, especially coming from a long-time very close friend. it felt like the abuse i went through from women id dated treating me like complete shit because im a man was just being completely discredited and treated as "not that bad" because it came from women and im a man. im a gay trans man and not attracted to women, but in the past ive been pressured into iding as bi and dating women to "make up for" being a man and the women who did that treated me horribly. it feels like even the people who claim to care about me dont see any of what ive gone through as real or actually bad because "men dont experience discrimination or hate for being men". like i had lots of queer people (including other trans people) try to force me to detransition because they believed being a man was inherently evil and wrong, including telling me that either i could identify as a man and "associate myself with oppressors" or stop identifying as one and "embrace my femininity". i still keep going back and forth between whether or not im nonbinary or not and whether im bi or not because of it, but i feel like even my closest friends (even certain ones who are also men) think what i went through was deserved or not actually bad.

that really fucking sucks, holy shit. why the hell would anyone say that to anyone else. people need to wake up and realize that people who don't like being hated on are suddenly siding with some kind of oppressor. what does that do for anyone. how does that help anyone. how does that help you. why do you need to be lectured. why do you need to be made feel scared while you're already vulnerable. you deserve better than that

[takuma-talkz]

I know there was a post on here that specified on how daisuke would react to a specific crew member catching him and his s/o getting it on but how would the rest of the crew react during and after the fact when they caught him

(Would they make fun of him, be disgusted with him, or would they just be uncomfortable after the fact?)

A/N: SORRY IF YOU HAD BEEN WAITING FOREVER ANON IVE BEEN BUSY BUT I GOT YOU NOW😭

Here’s the first post

The Aftermath

They had caught you guys getting some action, what’s their opinion about it? And how does Daisuke feel about this?

Swansea:

This motherfucker is like a proud father. He’s proud that Daisuke knows how to pleasure his partner, how he misses his days as a youngster.

Daisuke’s feeling:

Like I mentioned, he’s MORTIFIED. He thinks that Swansea is disgusted by him. He won’t talk to Swansea until he gets explicit verbal confirmation from Swansea that he’s not disgusted.

Anya:

She’s the one apologizing to you guys for walking in on you guys. But not for long as she switches to nurse mode and lectures you both about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Daisuke’s feeling:

Daisuke would be embarrassed. He respects Anya so much. He would promise to be more careful in the future.

Curly:

The kinda of a guy to go “Kids these days” with his hands on hips. Lectures you guys about being concise about other people while being intimate.

Daisuke’s feeling:

Respects Curly but doesn’t give two fucks about Curly’s lectures. If Daisuke wants loud sex with you, he will make you scream and cry regardless of who says something.

Jajajajajaja:

Acts disgusted but he was definitely turned on by the sight of you.

Daisuke’s feeling:

If Jimmy mentions a single word about you in ANY sexual or derogatory way, Daisuke will fuck him up.

[chronically-ghosted]

okay buckle up because ive been meaning to comment on this for a while bc it is genuinely one of my favorite dieter fics so here we go

“Look at me.” He did, his brown eyes wide behind his glasses, and when you reached out to cup his cheek in one hand, he leaned into it.

DIETER WITH GLASSES - that's it that's the fic i dont even care already iconic

“Pull out. You’re good at that, right?” He grumbled out a reply to you, the words “fuck you” in the middle of it for good measure, but Dieter was fighting back a smile, and so were you. 

yelling and screaming - teasing him about his pull out game got me giggling and kicking my feet

“I can’t believe you’re so excited about this, Dieter. A week ago, you didn’t even want to make this thing. What changed?”  “You.” It was such an immediate answer that it took you by surprise, eyes opening again as you stared up at him. What? “Thinking about you using it makes me … I don’t know. I just like the idea the more I think about it.” Fair.  

there's this very important line of dieter being excited and goofy because he's in love and acting like a cartoon character. that's one of my favorite things about this fic; he feels so so in character. it's wonderful!

“I’m sure my therapist would have a field day if I told him that I had a rubber version of myself in my damn mouth…” Dieter trailed off, eyes still on the toy. “Gotta be something worth dissecting with that kind of admission, right?”

SO DIETER and especially a dieter in recovery my heart sings!

He hummed, releasing your hip, and the next thing you knew, he was cradling the base of your skull and angling your face so that he could kiss you. The press of his lips was soft but insistent, Dieter nodding as you made contact. “Love you.”

dieter is a sweet baby boy and this is a cornerstone to his entire being and person and its SO IMPORTANT

it's so hard to find dieter fics that take him and his struggles AND his sexual desires seriously - but this fic does it without fail and i love love love it! thank you so much for this!

Stunt Double (Kinktober #5)

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Female Reader (Locked Down pairing)

Word count: 8,993

Kinktober prompt: Sex toys

Rating: EXPLICIT. Read at your own warning, and if you’re not 18 go away.

Warnings: Implied drug use/reference to Dieter’s past, sex, language, alcohol consumption

Summary: You and Dieter decide to give yourselves a little treat in the form of a brand new toy … even though it’s one that’s very familiar to both of you.

Author’s Note: 

This takes place in the Locked Down universe, though it’s well after the end of the main storyline. There are some clues about what’s coming for these two in here, so surprise, I guess. You don’t really need to have read that one to enjoy this piece, but if you want to, check out the masterlist here. 

BIG HUGE MASSIVE THANKS to @the-blind-assassin-12​ (who better not be reading this BEFORE SHE FINISHES WHAT SHE’S WORKING ON FOR FRANKIE) for coming up with this very correct and very fitting title. 

I set this one up with the NSFW alphabet I wrote for Dieter, so I figured it was the perfect opportunity to explore it a little further. 

This is a little raunchier than I’m used to writing, but the situation called for it. 

Enjoy. 

“How long do I have to stand here like this?” He looked down and then up at you, his full lower lip pushed out into a comically exaggerated pout. “It feels like it’s been -”

“Dieter, it hasn’t even been two minutes.” Crossing your legs, you braced both hands on the counter next to you, leaning closer to where he stood, facing you. “We set a timer, remember?” 

Keep reading

[dailyadventureprompts]

Hi there! I hope your having a wonderful day!

So i had a question, or more acuratly wanted to ask for some advice. Ive more or less recently started dming, mostly in the form of one-shots for my main group. And ive stumbled across the following issue: while i love the lore building and describing and rp-ing i really struggle with combat. I tend to get overwhelmed and forget about effects and skills, and struggle with coming up with 'battle tactics' (which is what our campaign dm suggested) or make it way to easy because i worry about the players being dissappointed by 'loosing'(eventhough they've mentiones they would love harder combat and would even be okay with a tpk if it was earned)

So do you happen to have any suggestions or ideas on how to practice running and organizing combat and/or scalling or ways to not get so overwhelmed?

(Im sorry if this isnt quite what you do, i just didnt really know who else to ask)

This is ABSOLUTELY what I do friend, every part of the dungeon mastering experience is worth talking about because that's how we improve.

If you're having trouble learning your way around combat you're more than justified: it's a whole second game, and strategic skirmish tactics requires a very different skillset compared to the collabrative storytelling rules you're just now getting a handle on.

First, lets talk about what combat in d&d is even FOR: Fights in d&d are really no different than any other challenge, they're a hurdle you as a DM employ to introduce drama to a narrative and engage your players, not all that different from a locked door or an obstinate NPC that needs to be convinced. The difference is that when you call initiative, you are shining a spotlight on the moment to moment decisions your party makes when time is limited and greatly raising the stakes: Seconds matter in combat, quick thinking matters, mistakes matter.

To use a simple example, recently I ran a road encounter where the party came across a gnomish merchant who's wagon had been attacked by predatory flightless birds. The question wasn't "can the party defeat the birds", I knew they could, the question was " Can the party defeat the birds before they eat this poor gnome who will be a friend/ally to them later"

The reason you're having problem with tactics and being worried about killing your party is that you're thinking about combat as its own isolated thing rather than a dramatic beat as part of a larger story. Most fights in D&D are NOT about attacking the party directly: Instead the baddies have something they want to accomplish (Take, devour, defend, slay) and it's a question of whether the heroes can stop them before they accomplish their mission. Combat only takes 2-4 rounds generally, which is a limited time for your players to put their thumbs on the scale and try to alter the course of events. Tactics are emergent out of goals, so think about what your minions would want to happen and how they would've gone about achieving it before the party comes by to wreckingball through their carefully laid plans.

Another example: An enemy force is attacking a castle the party are guests at, looking to secure hostages in preparation for a coup attempt by a rival noble. While the villains' over all job is to capture pieces, the initial wave of badguys are primarily concerned with slowing the party down to prevent them from interfering with the other attackers around the castle, meaning they'll fight defensively, potshots from cover and barring exits.

When you refocus the badguys' goals away from killing the players and towards things that push the plot in a particular direction (especially one the party would generally like to stop) you’ll have a clearer idea of what the enemies want to be doing, which not only helps you decide how they act, but also pick what enemies go into a fight.

If you're feeling totally overwhelmed another option would be to switch to a game system that focuses less on crunchy combat. It's drastic but everyone has game systems that fit better with their particular DMing style, especially in the early days when you're first developing. I'd highly recommend Forged in the Dark, or Powered by the Apocalypse systems, as they still have the punchy action-forward storytelling of d&d without having to manage much on the mechanics side.

[niagaragrape]

its been a while since ive posted lyre stuff but ive been thinking about her for months.;... have some self indulgent nightlyre (dick x aurora) stuff and another thing inspired by those 2011 vocaloid artworks

[39472034658449305249465224devils]

[the following is light hearted. i am not actually like trying to make a point. its lighthearted. idgaf what happens in my story books. because theyre story books]

im too late to add propaganda but may i remind everyone that if you voted for that blue haired moron, in the manga Sigurd ambushes Diadora naked and holds her still from behind as she pleads to be let go, but Alvis respects her boundaries when she asks to not be touched after the two are wed.

VS

Finals: We got a Bellhalla barn burner on our hands!

Feel free to reblog and comment with your reasons!

[aceofwhump]

hope youre doing well!

just wanted to let you know that i started binging ted lasso the other day after going through your blog for recs on something to watch (as i do, often) and i ADORE it, so thank you!!

i just watched the episode where jamie’s dad is abusive to him in front of the entire team and i have to say that it’s some of the best emotional whump ive seen in a WHILE omg. rewatched that scene so many times,,,,

while im here ill ask if you happen to have any fav jamie fic recs? no pressure though if you cant think of any specific ones, ill likely go through the entire tag on ao3 lol

Hi! I am doing all right thanks! Hope you're well too!

Omg yay!! Ted Lasso is so good!!! I'm so glad you're watching it! Ugh that episode is one of my favorites! The emotions just kill me. I love Jamie Tartt so much. I too watched that scene on a loop. So good.

Oooooh yes I have recs for you my friend! Many! Go forth and enjoy!

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

Emergency Contact by relevanceisoverrated Summary: When Jamie ends up in the hospital after an accident, the hospital has to call his emergency contact, Ted.

The calm before the literal and figurative storm by Multifandom_damnation Summary: They lose to Man City, but they might lose a lot more than a game that day

Barn Raising by altschmerzes  Summary: After the locker room disaster in Manchester, Roy drives Jamie home. The chaos they find when they arrive at the house swiftly proves it is not a safe place to spend the night, forcing a change of plans and a reroute to Roy’s own home. The following day Jamie experiences, in this order: The most bewildering breakfast of his life, a penalty kick clinic with a seven-year-old, and an overwhelming display from his teammates that brings him face to face with the fact that not only has he been accepted back in Richmond it’s also possible he might be, in a way he can’t remotely process or understand, loved here.

Scaffolding by altschmerzes Summary: Jamie collapses at training the day before an away game far from home, running a fever, and somehow this ends up being Roy's problem. And Ted's, when he persuades Roy to take it in shifts. It's both of their problem, though it's a problem for them in different ways. Ted struggles to keep the feeling of being helpless from sending him too deep into his own head to stay where he's needed. His experience as a parent both helps and doesn't. As for Roy, hating Jamie was a lot simpler than caring about him is. Taking care of him? Roy doesn't have a clue where he got the idea he was competent enough to do that. Especially when it feels like all he does is mess it up.

The Same Story by altschmerzes Summary: “So,” Trent starts, keeping his voice mild and professional. “We have all, by now, seen the footage from the unfortunate run-in you had with your father, the night of the twenty-fifth of April in the car park at Coventry City FC’s pitch.” It would've been traumatic enough for Jamie's father to ruin Richmond's most recent victory in front of the whole team, but when the confrontation turns violent in front of a gaggle of reporters, the ensuing social media firestorm is even worse. Over the next two and a half weeks, Jamie will have to navigate the charges against his father, walk a gauntlet of publicity that he never asked for, and prepare to give the interview of a lifetime. Luckily, Richmond has always been there to catch him on the other side.

Better Angels by altschmerzes Summary: The second time that Jamie shows up, smirking and announcing that he can't participate in training because he's hurt is so much worse than the first time. He's changed a lot, grown up a lot, and no one knows why he's acting like this again when he's put so much time and effort into not being that person anymore. It feels like history is repeating itself, except… something isn't adding up. Sam is the one who puts it together, who sees the proof that Jamie very much is hurt, and has led everyone to believe that he isn't by telling them that he is in a way that sounded like an obvious lie. It makes his head spin, and he doesn't know what to do. Thankfully, his team captain and his coaches are there to figure it out. (Hypothetical season 3 timeline. Completely gen. Jamie is hurt in an accident. He doesn't handle it well.)

Something to be said by macaronicism Summary: First day back in training after what happened at Wembley is awkward, but everyone tries their best.

for speaking through walls by LadyCharity  Summary: When an incident in the match against West Ham leads to a threat to Jamie's well-being, Ted comes face-to-face with what he dreads the most. In which Jamie haunts Ted just as much as the dead.

don't let it in with no intention to keep it by jamietxrtt Summary: "Glass shatters to Jamie’s left, missing the front door by centimeters. He ignores it and ducks out into the cloudy London night, the cold night air raising the hairs on his bare arms. No time to hesitate and grab a jacket now, though, not with the suffocating smell of beer smoking him out of his own house."

it's such a long road when you go it alone by themightyduck Summary: Jamie goes down hard during the last match of the season and struggles to determine his worth outside football. Ted would like to stop seeing his boys get hurt on the field. Roy seeks to become emotionally well-adjusted and possibly even Jamie's close friend.

On Pure Instinct by Dandelion_Orange_Pips Summary:

Jamie was standing rigidly and staring at Ted’s hand in abject horror, unblinking. Then rose his gaze to meet Ted’s, tears now uncontrolled. The world seemed to come to a stop and Ted couldn't breathe. One wrong move.

Ted raised his hands, placating.

Then Jamie’s eyes snapped rapidly to his hand and back, becoming even wider. Ted froze.

“Jamie-”

Jamie ran.

Or: Ted tries his best to keep Jamie together after a tough game. He fails, but maybe it's for the best.

The Invalidated Silent Screams Of The Tormented by Cuppa_Char Summary: When a blast from the past unsettles Jamie it leads to a very public meltdown.

Somehow Everything Will Be Okay by Lilac_Lemonade Summary: What happened once the match against Richmond was over and Jamie's dad pulled him aside? Ted walked away after seeing him with his dad in the treatment room and Jamie thought that was it, just one more person on the list of people that had abandoned him. But what if Ted came back? What if Ted was the one to give Jamie the letter after Richmond's match against Man City?

mind games by sweetsorrowss Summary: jamie tartt is tired of being toyed with. he's tired of being manipulated. he's tired of people pretending that they care. when his father pays him a surprise and unwelcome visit, jamie finds solace in the one person he's convinced himself is pretending the most. but ted lasso isn't pretending, and maybe jamie deserves a place to call home after all.

Thick and Thin and Every Line by LivingProof Summary: In the aftermath of the match against Manchester City, Ted, Roy, and Jamie struggle with demons shared and separate. Then Beard’s here, then his dad is gone, just the gunshot crack of the door to herald their departure. He’d wince at the sound, but his muscles have turned to lead. And Jamie’s here, the only person in this room, the spotlight on him casting everyone else in shadow. He knows they’re out there somewhere, audience to a Greek fucking tragedy, and maybe when this is over they’ll realize they should be applauding.

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation by jumpfall Summary: What Ted remembers later is Beard saying, "Jamie's not putting any weight on it."

To Being Better by vxctorsfvlix Summary: Jamie-centric rewrite of the Ola's Restaurant scene in 3.03, featuring more hurt and also more comfort. Jamie's been struggling with the arrival of Zava, and how it's affecting his relationships with the team. Things come to a head on the opening night of Sam's restaurant.

for what you have tamed by LadyCharity Summary: "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." In which Ted and Jamie are tamed by their fathers, their traumas, and each other.

according to the calculations by telm_393 Summary: After everything, Jamie’s not alone.

an excess of warmth or coldness by bartonbones Summary: When Jamie is seriously injured during a match, Roy and Ted are reminded how much they care about him--as a son, or as a younger brother, or as an exposed nerve. Jamie is reminded what it's like to have people care when his face gets knocked in.

Wings Wouldn't Help You Down by ViolentlyRed Summary: He thought the most awkward thing he'd have to endure was a rigid Roy Kent embrace in the Man City locker room months ago. He was wrong. And he’s getting better at admitting when he’s wrong, so. Turning up on Coach's doorstep at two thirty in the morning was infinitely, infinitely more awkward. Or, Jamie's hurt and not about to say much about it, and Ted's a good coach.

Haunted by WinterAndMissHyde Summary: Isaac and Colin lock Jamie in a storage room at Nelson Road as part of a "harmless" joke. This brings Jamie a lot of bad memories back he'd rather forget and leads him to a panic attack. He also dislocates his shoulder trying to get out. Ted, Sam and Dani are there to comfort him in the aftermath. Set after Jamie comes back to Richmond on season 2.

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

[g00d-d0g]

Thinking about being a certain someone's best friend from highschool, and picking him up in my car late one summer night, telling him "oh yeah, I just wanted to take you out on a late night drive. We haven't done that in forever, c'mon, just me and you out on the town, shooting the shit, rousing some rabble."

You trust me, so you get in the car, and we drive off into the night.

It's about 5 minutes later that I pull out a blunt during our conversation, lighting it and taking a puff or two, before I offer it to you.

You already knew I smoked, you'd even been with me while I'd done it once in the school bathroom, though you never really partook yourself. But hell, you're with your best friend, you're not gonna be talking to anyone that could notice any time soon. What could go wrong?

You'd heard of peer pressure, but this couldn't be that... She's your best friend, and she's not even telling you you have to take it or anything.

Fast forward 45 minutes and I have us pulled over on the side of the road in the middle of the woods, shoving your face into the hood of my chevy, my raw gock pounding in one of your holes while your cunt drools, a puddle of your cum gathering under us. You're too greened out to even realize me snapping pics of your ass bouncing against me.

The next morning, though, I show you all the pretty photos I took while I hold you in my bed, cuffs locked around your wrists and ankles, feeling something still dripping out between your legs.

🥃

Woaw that's a lot more words than I thought I could write tonight

OHYHYMYYYGODD??????????? 🥃youre trying to kill me this May or may not be one of my actual fantasies ..??? thank you forthe ask oh my god >////< how fitting i just took a gummy lol, apologies if my reply isnt understandable! i am, in fact, quite toasted💕

i wake up to the feeling of something dripping from my cunt. maybe i had a wet dream..? when i try to move my hand to wipe the wetness away,.. a firm pressure holds my wrists above my head

i would put up a struggle at first, how could my best friend do this? but what my mind forgot my body remembers, the more photos she shows me the less energy to protest i have.

ive known her so long that when she calls my family when to tell them we're going on a trip together, they simply send well wishes. no questions asked.

they dont need to know our little trip is a staycation, or that by the end of it, their sweet boy would be little more than a whiny slut begging to be filled.

[doll-for-you-11]

I'd love to drug you to a near-catatonic state and then r4pe you while filming the whole thing. After you regain consciousness I'll show you the recording and force you to masturbate to it while I call you names, bringing out the self-loathing whor3 in you.

I've recently gotten very into the idea of an Intox kink. Ive never really been a smoker but recently ive been getting high almost every night and thinking about being forced to take more and more until im pliant and usable.

The idea of being used against my will and without any memory of it and then waking up and being made aware and then forced to watch it happen, knowing its going to happen again.

Id try to fight it at first, pretend I wasnt dripping the second you turn on the video. But you'd know. Id try to keep myself from getting off too it. Make you have to edge me, make me admit I like it in order to cum. But then id sit there and rub my clit, staring at that video for hours begging for you to use me again.

It would be such a fun torture to keep me as your little fuck toy but never give me the satisfaction of feeling you use me. Always drugged or unconscious and only able to enjoy your cock by watching recordings.

[legs-like-jelly]

Dude I can't stop thinking about how, in TFP, Laserbeak's wing tips are almost directly underneath Soundwave's underarms.

I keep imagining either Soundwave in a bad mood or Laserbeak feeling mischievous, so he starts wiggles his wing tips in Soundwave's underarms while docked against his chest. Laserbeak won't undock either, so Soundwave has to sit/stand there and just take the tickles in a horrid spot lmaoooo

Sometimes Laserbeak will do this during meetings, and it takes every bit of self control Soundwave has to not curl over and giggle lol (Laserbeak is almost always tickled back as revenge for doing that in a meeting but it doesn't stop him lmaooo)

ive been thinking avbout this actually....lazerbeak is a horrid little shit when it comes to tickles...for sure...he would so do that shit on purpose to get soundwave's attention while he working too..

[soulidarity]

focused on your senses

after the bond between the two gets stronger, rafayel senses the blurred line between them

hurt? maybe???? | mentions of rafayels condition | check my notes at the end!

rafayel felt an agonizing amount of pain on his left knee, waking him up from his slumber. it wasn't unusual for him to feel discomfort there when walking, but he never had experienced this, it felt foreign.

as if the pain wasn't his

his brain was spiraling with a million thoughts as he tried to make sense of this, fearing that the cause of this was her.

as quickly as he could, and in a very clumsy matter, he reached for his phone on the nightstand. 12:08, she should be at work. he didn't know if that relieved him or made him worry more.

a ring...

then another...

the pain became stronger, as if needles were constantly stabbing it. moving it didnt seem to make any difference to the amount of pain, not what he usually experienced when he had bad knee days.

another ring...

a grunt could be heard on the other line

"kinda busy yel!" the familiar sound of her gun shooting was heard in the background

"did you hurt your left knee?!" he said frantically

"thats totally not an oddly specific and not a creepy thing to say out of nowhere" another gunshot "yeah i did- how do you... nevermind, can i call you back?"

"yeah, yeah for sure. just, please, stay safe"

the call disconnected, a deafening silence. rafayel took of his shirt and went to the bathroom mirror, the pain once again didnt seem to react to his movement, just a constant. the image of his reflection confirmed his theory, his bond mark glowing.

"ugh... fuck."

hours later, the sound of his number pad lock being unlocked drew him away from his thoughts, as a very agitated mc entered his home, throwing her bag onto the kitchen counter halfhazardly. he would coo at the domesticity of the action if it wasn't for the situation they were in.

"okay, what kinda lemurian bullshit did you pull?"

taken aback, rafayels eyes widened as he guided mc to the couch, raising her left leg onto the foot rest nearby, "i didnt do anything!"

"then how did you know? the wanderer had literally just attacked me when you called. which by the way, new rule. no more calling during work hours unless you're dying. just text me"

"it sure felt like i was dying" rafayel muttered, pouting.

"...huh"

"okay so remember how I told you that when lemurians bond our senses are focused on our partners?"

"yeah... your point?"

"i now feel the pain youre in, it woke me up"

"you were sleeping?"

"i dont think thats the point cutie!"

"right, you're right. sorry just... deflecting, I guess? this is a lot. like, im in pain most of the time so this isn't good"

"that isnt good by itself" rafayel argued "we can focus on that later, first this. why did it show up now? havent we've been... 'bonded' for a while now?"

he thought for a while, trying to come up with a recent significant event of their relationship "could this be the first big injury you have since our trip to the dessert?"

"actually, yes. but ive been in pain before these days" rafayel looked at her sternly "we'll revesit that later, but i think i could've confused it with pain from my own stuff, like, my bad posture and other stuff"

"so what do we do? i can't just not get injured, it's part of the job, but i don't want to hurt you"

"clearly it only bothers me if its a very significant injury, which I really hope you don't get. I wont stop you from doing your job, we'll figure it out as we go, okay?" he geabbed her hands, a reassuring smile on his face. she looked back at him warmly "alright, get me some ice"

hiiii i have some word vomit to do about this so bear with me or stop reading

1- if you dont know what condition raf has, its been said to a lot of time in canon that he has a hard time running, walking, standing, his resting posture even shows that he puts more weight on his right leg. he is also going blind 🤓☝️. i want to explore him losing his senses and abilities due to this undiagnosed issue and starting to feel more from mc from the bond. it is said that his senses are now focused on her, this is probably not what infold meant.

2- lately ive been dealing with my own health issue, to get better i have to do stuff that cause me the same pain that my illness does so i dont take care of my self much which i know is bad in the long run. so yes i am projecting onto yel leave me alone 😔

3- i think this might be a series! i want to explore other senses, not necessarily angsty though!!!!! i love fluff. life is way too dreadful to not have a bit of wimsy writing about two fictional characters