#and one of my closest friends let me sit in misery all alone when he could have extended compassion
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firefly-fez · 2 years ago
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look i’m not saying morgana was justified, okay. i’m not saying i condone murder, okay. i’m just saying she was 100% valid in everything she ever said or did and i would have made exactly all of the same choices myself. okay?
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lookingformoondrop · 1 year ago
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OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WRITES ABT THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY AAA
Honestly I'd take any writing about Andy LMFAO whatever you want to write, I'd just love to read something, be it headcanons or some short story <3
Absolutely! I was shocked when I tried finding content for TCOAAL, and there was none💀. For the sake of fluff Andy, the reader is the closest thing Andy has to a sister!
*Leyley doesn't exist*
P.S. Hopefully, this isn't OOC. This is also not proofread, so
I hope these meet your expectations <3
Andrew Graves x female best friend! Reader
TW: Everyone has a filthy mouth (swearing)... N/M = Nickname ♡
♡925 WORDS♡
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Ever since Andrew was a kid, he was treated more as his parent's friend than their kid.
This often meant that Andrew was forced to miss out on childish routines like throwing a tantrum, making a mess, having fun the loud way, and making mistakes, simply because "he was so easy."
If he were to add to his parents' load of problems, he wouldn't be able to live with himself, let alone sleep.
But that was all before he met you.
Every Friday, Mrs. Graves would give Andrew money to go on a snack run for the weekend.
But no matter what he did, no matter when or how he entered the grocery store, this little girl (no less than five) would terrorize Andrew.
"She's so annoying, mom! She always snatches the snacks I go for and then bolts for the next aisle. Then she just giggles and runs away with MY TOMATO SOUP."
Mrs. Graves sighed and turned around to face her son, "Andrew, just because a little five year old girl is taking some of the same snacks as you DOES NOT MEAN I am letting you shop at a different store! 'Shop Shop Shop and Shop, with more Shop' is the best for low-deals and prices. Please don't be difficult."
With no other choices, Andrew was forced to continue shopping.
Every week, she did the same thing. She'd sneak up behind him when he wasn't paying attention. She'd snatch the poor snack out of Andrew's hand and would bolt out of the aisle.
And everytime she did this, Andrew would grow angrier and angrier.
Finally, when the little girl stole the hundredth can of soup from his hand, Andrew turned around and grabbed the little girl's hair.
"AHH! Get off of me asshole!"
"You little shit! Give me that can back!"
They'd fight over the can of soup in the middle of the aisle for the next 10 minutes before the store owner kicked them out for "public disturbances."
Now, without his can of soup, sitting at the curb outside the store, with new bite marks along his arm, Andrew was more pissed than ever.
"What the hell is your problem? Do you just find malicious torment funny, you borderline psycho?"
Andrew turned towards the girl. She turned her smile towards Andrew, "Nah, just you."
Annoyed and exhausted, he put his face in his hands.
She thought for a moment , "No one plays with me, so I figured I should play with someone who looked as miserable as me."
Andrew looked at her through his fingers, "What about me screamed misery?"
She put a finger on her bottom lip, deep in thought, "You just have this face,"
Andrew scoffed at the girl, burying his face in his knees. She giggled.
"You just naturally look like an asshole"
"Watch your language, you fucking shit!"
Andrew went to grab the girls hair, "You dont even know my name, and yet you're calling me an asshole!? No wonder you dont have any friends."
She slapped Andrew's hand before it could reach her, "Well, what's your name?"
Andrew hesitated, "It's...Andrew Graves. What's yours?"
The little girl smiled, "Y/N L/N, your new best friend, Aaaaandy."
Andrew sat lazily with Y/N, laying on his lap. He cringed when he thought about their first meeting.
Of all the things they could've fought about, it was a can of soup... God, they're fucking stupid.
Since that day, Y/N would beg Andrew for attention and fun. She'd stalk him when he was out and about and would drag him away from any errands he was requested to run on.
"Leave me alone, N/M"
"Make me~"
"Please?"
"Lame. Now I have to come with you! With that bitch ass attitude you'll get beat up."
"Great."
And when Andrew accidentally reveal his address? Andrew was permanently stuck with Y/N.
Every Friday, she'd follow Andrew home, and even when Mr. and Mrs. Graves questioned the foul-mouth girl Andrew would never offer an explanation better than, "Some stray I picked up that won't let go. I have to keep her."
"Aaaaandyyy, can you change the channel? I don't want to lift my eyelids."
Andrew sighed, "The remote is right by your leg, dumbass"
"So?" She scoffed, "reach it for me."
"It's closer to you than it is to me!"
"Andy change the goddamn channel!"
"i'm not getting up just because your ass wants to be lazy!"
"ANDREW"
"Y/N"
Even if that meant pissing each other off with meanless schemes.
Despite their bickering that has made local pedestrians' ears bleed, they still were there for each other in everything.
"Whatever, you dumb bastard," Y/N mumbled to herself.
Andrew played with Y/N's hair as he stared at the mindless TV.
"Veronica Steveson asked me out to the date."
"Aw, poor hussy"
"Ouch, you think so lowly of me?"
"No, I just assumed you said no," Y/N continued to watch the TV.
"Why would I...?" Before Andrew could finish his sentence, Y/N sat up and stared at him with intense eyes.
"Do you like her?"
"W- Well no, but it's not like any other girls are crawling to date me"
Y/N scoffed at Andrew, flicking his forehead, "That's because you're stupid to notice."
She laid back down on his lap, and Andrew secretly smiled to himself. "So...who aren't I noticing?"
"Your mom."
"Y/N GROSS!"
And even if no one admitted it out loud, and even if you blushed one too many times around each other, you belonged with each other.
"But seriously, Andy, pass me the remote"
"Eat shit, N/M"
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Thank you for the ask <3
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justjessame · 4 months ago
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Something Wicked This Way Comes: Chapter 5
“Favorite movie of all time?” Oh, that was diabolical of him to ask, but that’s how we passed our lunchtime, with questions that helped us navigate the tense little bubble we seemed to fall into if we were too quiet.  
I contemplated the question with more seriousness than it required - for everyone else.  Kai knew I loved movies, so he knew he was mentally torturing me, but he didn’t look as gung ho about it as he would if I were Jo sitting across from him.  
Just as I was weighing the options between “The Monster Squad” and “Howard the Duck” being at least in the top ten, he shifted across from me and I refocused on Kai. “We could always just go to the drive in and catch a new one,” I blinked at him, not because I was against the idea of us doing something more private - although a movie at a drive in wasn’t exactly super private - but because we’re the grand old age of thirteen and neither of us could drive, so unless Eve, Elias, or his lovely parents were going to take us and chaperone the entire thing, I didn’t see - “You can buy tickets and sit on blankets, there’s some cheat they do so we can hear the audio,” mind reading was a cheap trick that he shouldn’t be able to do, and since he adhered to the three foot rule Elias insisted on when Jo tattled about our lunchtime routine, I knew he wasn’t sneaking “sips” from my magic.  
“You can’t know what I’m thinking,” I muttered, but his smile was worth the mild annoyance at how well he’d learned to read me. “Do you honestly think that your dad and Elias are going to be excited to let the two of us just go to the movies alone? Together, I mean.” I was stumbling over my words, which only seemed to happen when I was with him. 
His smile grew with my stumbling words and he leaned slightly across the table, marginally closer, but not nearly as close as I wanted him - “They will if you’re going with Josette.” Blinking at him, I knew there had to be more - he asked me, he wanted me to go, so why would I tell them I’m going with his sister?  “Jo wants to go to the movie playing this weekend, one of the last for the season, and I’m sure she’s going to ask you and a few of the other girls that hang onto her like the shining star she is.” OK, so he wants me to go with Jo, still missing some detail. “I’ll make my way there, and since there’s so much room on the property, they won’t notice if you go to the bathroom and -” Disappear onto a blanket with him, the shrug he gave me implied.  
“And you think no one will notice?” He waited while I made my choice. “I wouldn’t just have to go to the bathroom, I’d have to get sick enough to tell them all I was leaving - and make sure that I convinced them that I didn’t want any of them to give up their fun for me.” His smile seemed brighter as I plotted with him.
Eve folded a soft, yet sturdy blanket while she beamed at me in a way that seemed to scream that she knew precisely who I’d be sharing it with while Elias was trying to get me to take more and more cash -
“It’s the last weekend for the season,” he badgered, folding a wad of bills into my palm and giving me a mock glare when my mouth opened to argue with him. “If you don’t try to experience every single snack that concessions offers, you have to wait until spring.” Every snack? How much did he think I could eat? “Plus, you should share with your friends,” right, with Josette Parker, the beloved daughter of his best friend and leader extraordinaire and my closest friend - even if she did have a tendency to tattle about any moment I dared to spend with her own twin.  
Pocketing the cash, I started for the door - after all, it would be easier if I met the other girls along the way, that way I could begin the plan to seem like I might not feel as up for the evening as I’d hoped. Painting misery across my features would be hell of a lot easier if I did it outside of Elias’ watchful presence.  Eve stopped me long enough to hand me the blanket and kiss my temple - I could swear I felt a whisper of air that rushed over me, like a spell, but then she was telling me to have fun and Elias was beside her beaming at how well I was adjusting to my new life with them.
The drive-in wasn’t far, Jo and I had met close to her house, and she could tell I wasn’t feeling myself - at least she seemed worried that I might not feel well, which was strange since I hadn’t really started putting “fake sickness to go home” plan A yet.  
“Are you sure -” but then we were surrounded by the other girls from school, and my ears did start to hurt from all the squealing. I must be doing a better job of projecting illness than I thought I’d be able to manage because the others were soon fearful of how bad I looked - gee thanks, guys - and whether or not I should stay.
“Let me see how I feel during the dancing concession intro,” I offered, fearful that one of them would find a payphone and call Elias or Eve to come fetch me. “If I feel worse by then, I’ll head home,” whatever they heard in my voice seemed to convince them, and soon we were seated on Jo’s blanket - larger than mine and a little sturdier - with mine folded on my lap while they gossiped about boys and classes and I waited.  And waited.  
The sun had finally begun to set, the screen flickered to life and the girls’ excitement grew as the speakers that they’d pulled from the poles we sat between scratchily came to life.  Restlessness came off of me in waves, and they stopped chatting to check on me again - and this time their eyes were wide and they told me that one of them should probably walk me home.
“No,” I staggered to my feet, my legs had gotten stiff from sitting so long so I didn’t have to fake it, and shook my head at their worried faces.  “It’s still light enough that I can get there on my own -” they all started to fuss, but I gave them what I hoped was a weak smile. “Just because I can’t enjoy the last movie of the season, doesn’t mean I want you to miss it.”  Their mouths opened again, but I was already moving. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” my gaze was on Jo and she nodded, brow furrowed at my retreat, but I could tell it was simply worry and not suspicion that created it. “Have fun and tell me everything I miss -”  
Turning as they all promised me they would, I strode away and focused on part two of plan a - making them see me walk completely away and out of sight - and then a glamor that would make me not me, at least to the people who I’d be expecting to spend the evening with - hopefully Kai would see me still.  
Craning my neck, I searched for the incline he’d told me about and when I spotted the most likely area started walking toward it only to have the wind leave my lungs when arms wrapped around me from behind - my mouth opened to scream, but then lips were close to my ear, hot breath that rushed out as a voice I knew far better than Elias ever hoped me to told me to calm down.
“It’s me,” and as I relaxed, my mind processed the fact that he might have his arms around me, but not a hint of his skin was touching any of mine - even his mouth was far enough away from my ear that I could only feel the warmth of him, not a hint of skin on skin contact. The realization that even now he was being so careful made my heart throb uncomfortably in my chest. 
“I wasn’t sure you’d be able to tell I’m me,” he hadn’t released me so I held myself incredibly still so I could have him wrapped around me for as long as he’d stay that way.  “I mean -”
“I’d know you anywhere,” the throbbing in my heart turned into a full on flip and thud. “You just got here before me,” and then he pulled away and gestured for me to follow him to a small peak just above where he’d found me.  There was only one of the poles with the speaker on it here, and as he tugged the blanket from my arms, I gave myself an internal shake so I could focus on grabbing a side of it and help him spread it out on the ground.  “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”  He wasn’t sitting, and neither was I - suddenly everything felt so private and - “Eli?”
Right, he was asking if I wanted some snacks and - “Elias gave me money to splurge,” pulling the wad of bills from my pocket, I shook my head as he started to give me his standard answer when he asked me to join him for anything that needed cash. “He wanted me to try anything and everything that sounded good at the stand -” shrugging, I thought Kai would understand that there was no way I could eat my way through that much alone. “Besides,” leaning forward a bit, even with the blanket laying between us like a divider, I gave him a smirk. “It kind of serves him right for us to spend it since he’s so hellbent on keeping us apart, right?”  
That did the trick, once Kai swore that my glamor was so heavy that he was sure no one would recognize me - I closed my eyes and when I opened them my smile grew. “What?” He raised his eyebrow and stared at how I was studying my magic work.  “What are you staring at?”  
Laughing lightly, I waved my arm at him. “If my glamor worked so well on me,” his eyes widened and he glanced down. “I thought it might seem suspect if you were suddenly here, with another girl, getting snacks.”  I could still see HIM, but the haze of my spell was like a thin sheet covering him - and I felt certain that no one would be able to see through it.  “Come on, I can literally taste those nachos already.” 
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happyselves · 3 years ago
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Pacify Him { Daniel Ricciardo x reader } /// WARNING EXPLICIT ///
Chapter : One shot Rating : Mature / Explicit / NSFW Words : 3,622 words
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“Pacify her, she is getting on my nerves, hold your bitch before I push her away. You’re free to bring anyone here as long as they are behaving, but her … I don’t judge the person you are seeing, obviously I could give two shits about it but please tell her to calm herself down … This isn’t professional.”
You were fuming as you entered Daniel’s driver room,as his PR assistante you never interfere in his frequentation, but when it was impacting the reputation of the team and bugging people visiting the motorhome you had to step him. You calm yourself after a few breaths, stepping aside from Daniel a bit before looking at him again.
“ I didn’t mean to come that hard on you Daniel, but please you know how this is important right. You always ask for my honest opinion and there it is, I didn’t mean it for it to step out this hard on you but I can’t apologize for my words when I was thinking about them. She is toxic for you, she brings the bad in you when you are someone adorable usually. What is happening to you that you don’t trust me enough anymore to tell me when something is going wrong ? And before you are shushing me off, you know I am right, you and I are a package deal. “
He was defeated, not even looking at you, his whole body was shutting down and his legs were giving up on him. He takes the closest seat near him, almost falling and barely able to sit gracefully like he used to do.
“ I don’t know … I am so lost, I keep doing stuff wrong, I can’t find my soul anymore, I’m not very myself recently, I can’t even find my smile being genuine in the morning when I wake up in the morning. I’m putting a mask for people to see, but I’m like an empty shell. This bitch as you call her is only here to distract me and try to make me feel alive. She is nothing and it was a mistake to bring her… “
You were very concerned about Daniel’s attitude, it was the first time since you have known him that he worries about you right now. You were kneeling in front of him, trying your best not to invade his personal space. It’s something new for you, not invading it, you never ever thought he needed one but he looked so fragile, then you were under the impression that if you were touching him he would vanish into dust.
“ You are scaring me, what’s happening, is it the team ? Something personal ? You know you can tell me everything … “ A long silence got installed, your eyes were starting to water by all the pain you were seeing in him. You thought he wouldn’t open up, he was shutting you out by the way his body was curling up and turning to avoid your gaze on him. He was protecting himself like a kid that was terrified of a big stormy night.
You wanted to be the one to reassure one, but you were practically sure you were part of the problem. You stand quietly, ready to leave him alone in his driver room because there was nothing you could do if he wasn’t letting you.
His reaction was imminent, the driver inside of him was popping up and his muscles memories acting for him as it was his turn to get up and close the space between you, shutting the opened door. You yelped out of surprise before feeling his pressing body against you. You were stuck between the wooden door and his warm torso. Feeling his heretic heartbeat pounding in his chest. You couldn’t speak, you were too shocked for that. You and him were friends, close friends but not that physically close. You never cross that boundaries, but today was different, you felt it was.
The seconds looked like hours waiting for the confirmation of your assumption. Daniel seems to be as surprised as you to have acted the way he did, it was too late to back away now.
“ Don’t leave … don’t walk out that door “ His forehead was now resting on the back of your head, slightly not to hurt you and put weight on it. You wanted to ignore all the fuzzy feelings flooding in your whole body, but you couldn’t. Having him so close to you awakens a deep feeling hidden in you. “ The bitch will go away I promise, I am sorry “
Why was he apologizing to you, he didn’t disappoint anyone, yet. You weren’t even mad, you learn better to not judge someone's fucked up attitude when you could recognize the coping mechanics of someone keeping a secret and trying to turn the attention away from himself for nobody to catch the true meaning behind these actions. Does that make it acceptable ? It was each individual to have their own opinion. It was annoying you, that Daniel was suffering but preferred to distract himself and run away from his problem instead of talking to you or anyone else.
You close your eyes, your own forehead finds the cold surface of the door, his own head following yours not breaking the contact. HIs hands find the side of your hip.
“ The bitch isn’t the problem isn’t it ? “ You asked without any certainty he will give you a proper answer to that. His thumbs were caressing the skin of your hips through the tissues of your teamwear shirt, drawing a circle. You were sure he didn’t even notice he was doing it, his body was only responding to one mood and it was the auto-pilot one.
You were searching for breath and the driver’s room was starting to get tighter by the meanings, you were about to suffocate if the situation in which you both were wasn’t going to change fast enough.
“ You are the only one that can take away my pain … “ It could pass for a simple sentence if it wasn’t so Daniel, you had learned the code of conduct of Daniel Ricciardo and that … that was a declaration. “ It was you and I before, remember ? “
You were missing a piece of puzzle here, what was he talking about, is he drunk ? You never act differently around him, nothing changes, it never does. Yes it was him and you, always have been.
“ What are you talking about Daniel, you are confusing me “
“ Why did it change, the two of us … “ He was responding to your question by another one, like he was having his own conversation in his head, you were tempted to let him speak his mind to discover the bottom of the problem.
“ It didn’t change Daniel … “ You were trying as much as you could to put everything together, in vain.
“ It did change, I can’t look at you the same way as before … “ There it was, a little clue. If only he knew that it has been a long time since you have been able to look at him the way he used to when you meet him the first time. It was more than annoying you that he had brought someone with him for the weekend, more than it should. You were fuming when you saw the unknown name on the list of guests and asked someone to lighten it for you.
“ I know you are lying, why would you react the way you just did before if you weren’t “ You wanted to look at him, but his body was still pressing you against the cold wood. You had so much to say and him as well, all this unspoken tension you both tried to make yourself believe was a liar. You were both frauds, your friendship switched into something more months ago after a drunk night. Nothing happened that night, only looks were exchanged. The battle you both had as a joke at first turned into something way more deeper than you both were expecting and when you both tried to pull out of it, the damage had been done. That night was an epiphany moment for you, awaking the true desire between you. Your bodies couldn’t lie, the need for them to touch, the flaming sensation of his skin against yours like it was happening right now. Everything happened before and since that night, it never was the same thing for Daniel and everything went downhill.
You move your hand, posting on the door and Daniel understands the message and detaches himself from you. You slowly turn, god he was a mess and you bet you weren’t better.
“ You bewitched me that night, seduced me with your eyes. It was a game at first and now look at us, where is the game now ? “ He wasn’t accusing you of anything, it was a simple statement, an understanding between you. Two people were playing the game and two people ended up losing.
“ That wasn’t my intention, I tried to pull away, it was too late “ Who sounds defeated now, the tables have turned and he brings you down with him to the bottom of his misery. A couple bruises on your heart that he created was all you needed to have the proof that at least you two had shared a moment. It had to stay professional, but as his face was closing up the gap, all your convictions were being erased one by one.
You didn’t wait for him, you joined him in the middle, your lips connected quicker than he had anticipated, your eyes shut down in synchronisation. You didn’t who reacted first and kissed the other one back. That lip was perfect, far from it, it was messy just like him, but it was passionate. His teeth were teasing your bottom lips, asking permission to tear the flesh of it apart. You moaned when his tongue was inviting you to open your mouth. The taste of your two saliva was so intoxicated that you almost fell and he had to catch you with both of his arms, supporting you from your lower back. His smile came back to life against your mouth, letting out a childish giggle and you hit his arm to make him stop making fun of your lack of stability.
HIs reaction was quick, if you couldn’t stand up anymore he would use that door to help you. He pushes you toward it and your back gets lean on it, his arms unlocking themselves to explore your body, finding where they were before except this style the hem of your shirt came loose, letting the palm of his hand directly enter in contact with your skin, sending you shivers.
You had forgotten your environnement, too busy burying your own hands in his dark curls, bringing him closer as much as possible. Your teeth were still clenching and air was starting to lack in your lounge. You didn’t want to let go, scared for the reality to be brought back. You have been dreaming for months about this. Having the fantasy in your head when the night was setting and the moon shining.
DSaniel didn’t let you think for another second as he used this little moment of rest when you stop kissing him for a second, to lift you up, grabbing your ass, his palm firmly around it. He moves you and remembered to lock the door before turning back his focus on you as he finally break the kiss to look at you. Lust could be seen all over your two faces. His face was not showing any sadness anymore, only mischievousness and happiness. If you knew that all you needed to do to bring back the Daniel you knew was to let your own desire take over you, you would have done it sooner.
He took the direction of the massage table beside him, putting you on the edge before finding your neck and kissing the soft skin. You let a snort escape when his scruff tickles a sensitive spot behind your ear. He laughs against the skin and the vibration changes the snort into a whining complaint. He traveled all the way down to your clavicle but the fabric of your shirt was stopping him. He didn’t wait for your approval to remove it, the force of the removal making you lift your arm automatically. They fall back on his neck when he throws the piece of tissue somewhere you will have a hard time finding back.
That was extremely hot from him and by your legs starting to spread a little bit and the heat you were starting to feel between them, he noticed acknowledge the effect he had on you and smirk, visibly proud of himself. It was not the time to hide yourself even if you could feel embarrassed, this man in front of you was everything you had dreamt of and it had the talent to make you feel confident of your body, just by the way he looks at every detail of your body.
You were eager to let him take the situation under his control and only his, not doing anything and just being the prize he was working on to have for so long. All the torment, the torture and the conviction he will never have you, he deserved it. You will get your prize another time … it was only the beginning for you.
He was taking his time with you,no matter how much his desire was waking up, he had one mission and one mission only; your pleasure. You could see the forming bulge in his pants and felt for him, imagining how inconfortable it must be for him.
It all went to dust when his hands found their way under your bra cupping your breast and his lips traveled your chest as he was kissing his way down. He was leaving wet kisses and blowing air on it, goosebumps started to appear quickly, head being jolted back.
You wish you knew what to do with your hands but they were gripping the leather of the massage table so hard your knuckles were getting white by the second. He didn’t seem to care as his hands found your pants, he pushed you a bit behind, making unspeakable demands for you to lift your ass so he could slide the piece of clothes down for it to join your shirt somewhere in the room.
You could barely keep your eyes open as you witnessed the extremely hot scene in front of you. Daniel between your legs, keeping the same pace with you, kissing his way up toward the inner of your thighs. You sensed his teeth nibbling your skin, licking every spot afterward, like he was trying to heal the pain he just caused you. Little did he know that pain you were feeling was arousing you even more, your panty was starting to visibly licked your excitement. It was feeling like torture, you thougth that Daniel would be like the others partner you had, your skin would get used to the touch after a moment and the horniness would stop at a certain level, thinking you had reach the maximal of his possibility. How wrong were you when you were on the verge to cum without him actually pleasuring you in this area. You knew it was coming, Daniel kisses were more hungry, teasing the flesh of your thigh turning red by the bite and the kisses.
His lips were swallowing, getting bigger by the unusual exercise they were carrying on, his tongue would feel numb if it was for the desire he had to taste you, letting it survive for a couple minutes still. You watch him, leaving a kiss on the wet fabric of your underwear, your eyes were blurrying by the anticipation of him finally finding your clit. His teeth end up moving the piece of dentelle that was the last barrier between you and him.
It was like he was home and belonged there, here with you, right in this instance, it was you and him against the world. Forgetting your environnement you let a cry escape a little bit too loud as soon his thick tongue was licking arousal. You thought that seeing the start was a legend, a fantasy, but Daniel had made you become reality as your head was banged back, finding the cold wall, your neck was stretching so hard that the blood was lacking in your brain making you see some sparkling spot. He needed you to stay quiet and as he tried to put one of his hands on your mouth he ended up finding the neck instead, squeezing it enough for you to moan his name as he was continuing his exploration of your pussy.
Your hands finally leave the grip of the massage table to find their new place around Daniel's arm. You were stretched out in front of him, so vulnerable, just for him and you were unable to give a proper reaction to being buried in the pleasure he was giving you. His tongue was teasing your entrance, making it hardening, pushing himself in you as you will. The thumb of his free hand was moving in a slow circle around your clit. He didn’t know the dilemma you were encountering, keeping your eyes shut and your head back or fighting his firm hand on your neck for you to see him eating you alive. You sure had to make a decision quickly because you were soon to arrive at the edge before you will let the orgasm consume your whole body.
By the sound you were making, Daniel had the confirmation he was doing everything in the right way for you. He never experienced such joy to make someone lose their composure due to his actions. He was feeling proud that he was finding it out with you. Every woman he had been with didn’t sound or look as beautiful and real as you spread in front of him right now. He could spend hours tasting you, how good you were for him, how reactive and sensitive your skin was becoming after being torn apart by him. How the thought of fucking you with his tongue had haunt his dream for the past couples of month now, but the reality of this was surpassing all his expectations. He wanted to be rough with you, all the dirty thoughts came back rushing into his brain, overwhelming him and sending twitch to his dick. Rather than being dominant, it was all about showing you how much he had wanted you and how willing he was to give you anything you wanted, because you deserved it. You deserved for him to make you forget every man you had sex with. Replacing all the bad and good memories with his own. Changing all the faces in your dream, planting his own in the own DNA of your imagination.
He could feel that you were holding it together for it to last longer, even if that meant losing the self-control you had in you. Your wall was tightening around his fat tongue. You were completely losing your mind at the foreword of sensation throwing at you at the same time. You were sure it was too much for one person and you could care less about the verbal explosion you might have in a couple of seconds. Daniel however, foreseeing your release, put two fingers in your mouth holding your jaw from your mouth, your lips closed themself around them and your tongue was soon relaxing on them. You bite his knuckles when his tongue replaces his thumb in one flick of the tongue, finally letting cum. Your legs were shaking and Daniel had to hold you for you not to hurt yourself, your eyes were rolling back as your orgasm hit you in small waves, sending you jolts of electricity around your body. Your brain was shutting down, the stifled moan never reaching the exterior of your mouth, dying down on Daniel’s fingers in sensual vibration that made his bulge react, begging to be taken care of.
It tooks you minutes to come back to the open world, Daniel’s eyes not leaving you for a second, admiring his work. You slowly come back to reality and automatically search for him, missing his touch already. Your eyes were still not open when you found the collar of his shirt and pulled him rather violently, crashing your lips together, taking a taste of your own juice still lingering on his lips. You sigh in the kiss, reassured that what just happened wasn’t just a dream and that you were far needing to wake up from it.You rest your forehead on his, the wave of pleasure was still leaving some after effects on you including dizziness.
You had to clear your throat as you realised no sound was coming it out the first time you tried to speak.
“ That bitch needs to go, tell her you replace her with a more living version. “
You couldn’t help but laugh at your own words and Daniel was smiling at the way you just described yourself.
“ She’s already gone, she was already gone before you burst into my room.
You didn’t know how to respond to that, but one thing for sure is that you will have a hard time making people outside of this room say that nothing happened between the two of you. At least you would not pissed them off and you were able to pacify him at any time.
MASTERLIST
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kuroos-moon · 4 years ago
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Getting Possessive
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➪ pairings: bokuto x reader, kuroo x reader, oikawa x reader
➪ request: a scenario where Bokuto, Kuroo n Tooru (or anyone else) get,,possessive bc their s/o was partnered up w another guy for a project
➪ genre: fluff 
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Bokuto Kōtarō 
“Now for your biggest project this year, which I mentioned was going to be by partner since it’ll probably take a while to complete, I’ll be announcing your pair today.”
Bokuto excitedly looks at you with an infectious grin, something about how your teacher said ‘announcing your pair,’ made it feel romantic, so it has to be you and him. You love getting partnered up with Bo since he’s so inspired and motivated when he works with you.
“Y/n, should we start it this weekend at my place?” He whispers not-so-discreetly to you which earns the two of you a disapproving glance from your teacher. “Sure, it’s going to be fun,” you grin back at him, showing him a thumbs-up which only makes him more excited. 
“What snacks should I prepare?” That was the last straw for your ever so patient sensei. The both of you were supposed to be partners even when he picked randomly, but what good would that do? He thinks you two are probably going to goof around, using the project as an excuse to meet up. 
“Next, l/n y/n, and uh,” he glances around to whoever wasn’t called yet and unfortunately it lands on the pretty boy behind you, “uh Takumi Usui,” he finishes, Bokuto rising up his chair at an instant. There was a lot of his pleading before he got scolded, your teacher never gave in and now he’s miserable.
“Hey, Kō I’m bummed you’re not my partner too but your partner has much greater brains than me! It should be fine,” you pat at his back while he slouches from beside you on his chair and plants his face on your lap. He only whines in misery in response and you can’t help but chuckle as you run your fingers through his hair. 
“Could you even breathe down there?” You’re lowkey embarrassed to be in that position with him in the middle of the classroom. 
Feeling a light tap on your shoulder, you look behind you to see your partner smile at you. “Uh, hey, it’s cool we got to be partners y/n-chan, when should we meet up?” 
Okay first of all, Y/N-CHAN?? He automatically turns to observe your face, his cheek now against your thighs. “Well, I’m free this weekend,” you smile back at him. 
He should’ve been the one who’s going to meet you that weekend. “Can I come along?” He sits up and smiles at the both of you, you’re horrified and lowkey embarrassed while your partner’s surprised. 
You face him and offer him a small smile, “Kō, you have your own partner to work with,” you gently tell him, touching his knee. He doesn’t respond but instead his hair droops along with his mood.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” you smile at Usui and Bokuto just short-circuits and panics as he watches you divert your attention to your partner once more. “It’s alright, so this weekend at my place, maybe?”
Bokuto grits his teeth, looking at the both of you in disbelief. “She’s mine! She’s mine, okay?” He blurts out, yanking your chair closest to him as possible and possessively wrapping his arms around your shoulders. 
You, along with the rest of the class stare up at him and he’s fidgeting a little once he sees you bury your face in your hands, “I mean she’s not an object I could claim mine, but- uh- she’s your partner academically! While I- I am her pair in a romantic kind of way!” 
You sigh before you untangle yourself from his arms, and he looks at you sorrily, afraid he’s made you mad but you offer your hand to him instead. After second-glancing you, he puts his big hand in yours and lets you guide him out of the room and in the quiet hallway. 
“What was that about Kō?” You look up at him expectantly, crossing your arms against your chest. He doesn’t meet your eyes and looks down to his fingers instead, “are you mad at me?” 
When you don’t respond, he continues, “sensei said he was announcing our pair, and it sounds so romantic and soulmate-like, I can’t believe I’m not your pair y/n, I’m not your soulmate,” his tone just gets sadder and sadder and you can’t help but chuckle, wrapping your arms around his waist and bringing him to a shock. 
“Don’t be silly Kō, just like you said, no matter what, I’m yours,” you look up at him and he pouts, and it might just be your imagination but you think you saw his bottom lip quiver. 
“Really?” He draws up his hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. 
“Really.” 
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Kuroo Tetsurō 
“Oya oya?” Like a pest he pops up out of nowhere while you sit side by side with your partner in the library; and you glare daggers at your boyfriend before he grins at the two of you. “Are you even doing that right?” 
“None of your business, Tetsurō,” you swat away his hand from your shoulder, “get lost.” He only pouts at you before pulling up a chair, moving yours aside and sitting between the two of you. “Uh, excuse me, we have a project to finish.” Your partner sighs. 
He knew Kuroo was displeased when your teacher announced you were partners because maybe he sat a little bit too close to you in class, but Kuroo constantly showing up unannounced was getting on his nerves. 
“Excuse you, I’m not letting you drag down chibi-chan’s grades down the gutter along with yours,” he smirks at him, his cockiness short-lived as he’s met with your elbow to his ribs. “Get. Lost. Now,” you stare him down, his brows raising at you. 
“You obviously need help, I mean, doesn’t your back hurt from carrying your entire project?” He jokes but he’s only met with your disapproving eyes, “okay, okay, backing off now, tell me if you need help.” 
He unwillingly gets up from his chair, feigning a genuine smile your way as he drags his chair out of the way so you could sit closer to your partner. “Sorry about that dork,” you sigh. “Must be a pain, huh?” 
The moment your eyes are off him, his smile falls, instantly replaced by a menacing sharp glare sending chills down your partner’s spine. “I’m one call away, kitten, I could sub in for your partner anytime,” he reminds you again, standing behind the both of you. 
“My partner’s completely fine Tetsurō, you’re not needed,” you mindlessly say, scribbling something on your paper before glancing back at your partner to ask him something. He scoffs in disbelief; how could you be so cruel to him? 
Deciding it was best to just leave his girlfriend who apparently doesn’t need him alone, he kicks the back of your partner’s chair before making his way to the door with a frown. Kenma wasn’t even listening to his rants, but from the gist of it he could tell his best friend was being possessive while you’re simply clueless. 
“Y’know, I think your boyfriend’s acting kinda possessive.”
“No, he’s probably just bored or something so he bugs me and all that,” you shrug. Honey, that’s definitely not it. 
By the time his volleyball practice ends, he races to the library. Oh, look at that little prick sitting so unnecessarily close to you, he exhales a breath in annoyance, hands in his hips as he observes you two from outside. Kai had advised him to not bother you, so he’ll just wait out. 
He couldn’t just stand still though when you shiver and rub your hands together so now he’s come in the library again, making his way to the two of you. “Oh, great, he’s here again,” your partner huffs and you look up at Kuroo, wondering why he’s got a frown on his face. 
“Shut up, you really don’t wanna try me right now,” he grits his teeth, silently putting on his jacket over your frame. “You don’t have to finish it all up in one go, kitten, I could take you home to rest now,” he mutters, putting his hands on your shoulders and massaging them. 
“We’re almost finished, we’re wrapping it up,” you smile up at him and he sighs. “Fine.” You’re stunned when he slams his palm on the table, his arm between the both of you. “But some distance, maybe?” He turns to face your partner who immediately moves his chair a foot away. 
“Oh, and could you pass me that book over there,” Kuroo nods to your partner’s book.
“What for?” He scoffs.
“I’m obviously not going to hit you with it if that’s what you’re worried about,” he muses before grabbing the book himself. “Tetsu, what are you even doing?” 
He looks at you with a playful smile before leaning in and tilting his head to the side, your lips a mere inch apart, “I’m motivating you to finish.” He locks lips with you. Your partner was stiff, but he couldn’t see at all as Kuroo blocks your pressed lips with the very book he had snatched. 
“I’ll wait outside, I’ve only come in to kiss my girl, oh, and here’s your book,” he tosses it to him, eyes directly on his as he wipes the corner of his lips just to make his point before walking out, sending a wink your way. 
“Yup, he’s definitely possessive,” you watch him as he walks out. 
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 Oikawa Tōru
The moment your teacher announces your partner was someone else who gave him the very foreign feeling of being possessive and wanting to prove you’re his, it seemed like the world was ending. 
“Hey, Iwa-chan, do you still see our sensei over there?” He whispers, and Iwaizumi looks at him like he’s gone insane. “What?” 
“Because all I see is the devil, how dare he,” he bites the inside of his cheek, eyes darting to the back of your head while you discuss something with your insanely attractive partner who he admits is generously half as pretty as him. “Are you still on about how y/n should be your partner?” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes.
“It’s only common sense, they don’t look great together at all.”
“This is not some matchmaking crap shittykawa, this is a school project.” The bell finally rings, class was officially over for the day. 
“You just don’t understand Iwa-chan,” he clicks his tongue before slinging his bag to his shoulder and making his way over to you. 
“Y/n-chan!” You’re flustered when you feel a hand on your stomach as you’re pulled to Tōru’s chest. “Who’s this?” He smiles at your partner who stood across the two of you. “What do you mean ‘who’s this,’ he’s our classmate, he’s my partner too.”
Okay, something along the lines of ‘my partner’ had his eye twitching. He listens in to your conversation as you make plans about when you should meet, his chin resting above your head the whole time while he hugs you from behind. 
You know Tōru’s not really one for caring who sees him displaying affection so his behavior now would pass up as normal but you get the feeling he’s purposely trying to show off right now. 
“So we could start today then, at my place?” You partner asks, but before you could respond, Tōru beats you to it. “Absolutely not, Usui-kun,” he scowls as if Usui had said something so controversial. You also notice how he had unconsciously held you to him tighter. 
“Someone’s a possessive boyfriend,” your partner grins. 
“Me?” He scoffs, “I know I’m crazy for y/n and it shows, but I’m not that crazy.” 
“Fine, then we’re going to my house.”
“The answer remains no, you’re not worthy enough to bring my y/n-chan inside your house.” You’re awkwardly just standing there, feeling more suffocated as Oikawa holds you closer to him the more their argument drags on.
“What are you, her dad?” Usui scoffs, but is now caught off guard upon meeting Oikawa’s cold eyes and taunting smirk. 
“You’d be surprised as to what y/n calls me inside the walls of my bedroom,” he says it like it’s no big deal, and you break free from his hold, about to slap his chest but Iwaizumi smacks his head before you could lay a hand on him. 
“Ow! Iwa-chan, my brain hurts!” 
“I doubt you even have one shittykawa! Don’t go blurting out stuff like that,” he scolds. 
“Thanks Iwa,” you genuinely smile at him before glaring at Oikawa. “Uh, so where then?” Your partner interrupts. “We could go to my place, my mom wouldn’t mind, might as well go now while it’s still early,” you walk towards him, Oikawa’s jaw dropping at how you so quickly left his side. 
“Hey, wait a minute y/n-chan, I don’t approve of this,” he whines, yanking your wrist. “You really don’t have a say in this Tōru, we have a project to work on, byebye,” you hastily kiss his cheek before leaving with your partner. 
He was hot on his heels about to follow you out but he’s yanked by the collar and dragged to practice by the impatient Iwaizumi. “Hey Usui-kun, my mom wouldn’t like you!” He shouts, struggling to not get his arm ripped off as he tries to resist Iwaizumi dragging him to the opposite direction of the both of you. 
“We don’t have the same mom, Tōru!” 
The instant practice ends, he has made it to his way inside your home, bearing chocolates and flowers for your mother. “Tōru, why are you here? And what’s all this?” Your mom asks him and he only chuckles while scratching the back of his neck, “I just haven’t dropped by in a while, where’s y/n though?”
Please not your bedroom.
“She’s in her bedroom with Usu-
“What? You can’t be on first-name basis with him already! Uh- I mean, I’m sorry, can I go up to her room?” 
Your mother knowingly smiles as Oikawa dashes up the stairs. Looking at the chocolates he brought, it was as if he wanted to bribe your mom into liking him more. It was just like when you first brought him home. 
“WHY IS THE DOOR EVEN CLOSED?” You yelp in shock when the door swings open, revealing a screaming Tōru fresh from his practice. “Geez, relax, it was windy.” You sigh, getting up from the floor to give him a hug but he has marched his way past you. 
“Then at least close your window, not the door,” he grumbles as he shuts your windows so the wind couldn’t get in. He turns to look at the both of you wearing the same expression of ‘what the hell are you even doing here.’ 
“You.” He points down at Usui who was still sat on the floor, “what are you still doing here? Get up, I’m kicking you out.” 
“Tōru I am this close to kicking you out, we have a project to finish,” you hiss at him, pushing him away from your area of scattered papers and plopping him down on your bed. “Stay there, don’t make noise, and let us work in peace.” 
He frowns, turning to lay on his stomach and prodding his elbows against the mattress as he rests his chin on his hands. He observes the two of you work, his frown never leaving his face as you kept on ignoring him. 
“Hey, y/n-chan, can I have a kiss?” He asks, looking at your partner to see his reaction. 
“No, Toru, you cannot,” you deadpan, making Usui chuckle. 
His smile only returns to his face upon bidding your partner goodbye, his teeth showing at how happy he was as he faces both you and your mom. “Now, I declare this lovely household cleansed!” 
You only roll your eyes, guiding him up your room so you could cuddle while your mom starts to prepare dinner. 
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General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo​ 
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junova · 4 years ago
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.˚✦ ๋࣭ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬
my universe
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
notes: this one has been in my drafts....forever. never really liked it too much but fuck it. maybe i can redeem it in a part 2??? this is more of a prologue if anything. idk we'll see. happy reading!
pairing: modern!steve rogers x reader, former!bucky barnes x reader, bucky barnes x natasha romanoff
concept: bucky was all you'd ever cared about, wanting him more than anyone. until he comes along, showing what it actually means to love someone. welcome to heaven in hiding.
warnings: 18+, sexual content, jealous!reader, bucky being a dick, soft!steve, heavy angst, steve is a funny lil shit at the end
wc: 3.9k
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It felt unbearable to be here. Watching how fondly she still looked at him, after all this time, not missing a beat. It was suffocating, surrounding you by a sea of water and having no other option than to drown. Greedily, his love swallowing you up in your entirety.
He did really try to dodge her looks of longing but still, even now he felt the pull to her. It didn’t really matter how long they were absent from each others’ lives.
As you sat next to him, you could feel him slipping from your grasp. Far beyond your control, way out of your depth, he was falling. Deep down, you couldn’t really blame him. The pictures you’d seen of her did no justice, she was truly a vision. Much brighter than you would ever glow and it made you wonder if what he spoke just a few hours ago still held meaning.
Not to mention, she seemed to be as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Making you grow even more envious of her.
Sure, she had broken his heart but it wasn’t beyond forgiveness. She had simply put herself before the relationship and if you had been in her shoes you could imagine yourself doing the same. All she wanted was a better future for herself, at least it’s what he had told you.
Now sitting here you couldn’t stop thinking about how she looked at him with admiration and love laced in her eyes. Truly, if she still wanted him in her arms there was nothing stopping her.
Surely, not you. You two seemed to live on two different planes of beauty and hers was the kind you dream of having but only have a very little probability of obtaining. With her ruby hair and glossy lips, tempting nearly everyone around her to the way she carried herself and spoke to you like you were the only person she was invested in.
It wasn’t difficult to see why he spoke of her so much. You would, too.
You tried to enjoy the wonderfully prepared meal Pepper and Tony had made, well mainly Pepper. It was delicious, but your senses had gone bitter and it had nothing to do with the food.
You weren’t sure when you started to drift off, maybe it was when Bucky began looking at Natasha like she hung each and every constellation in the sky. Or maybe it’s when you heard her melodic laugh when Bucky delivered the punchline.
It was like Steve, Wanda, and Thor didn’t exist. The lovely couple in their own little bubble, speaking in a language only the two of them understood. Utterly and completely unaware of any and all of their surroundings.
“You okay?” Steve questioned, placing his hand on top of your hand, giving it a small squeeze. Discreetly and under the table away from prying eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I just need some air.” You weren’t sure what could remove the nothingness inside of you, but maybe some space would provide some comfort.
You felt like your heart had been ripped out right in front of you, again. He said he wouldn’t do it again, that he wanted to be with you, but all she had to do was come to town and he’d been chasing her just like he always did.
Excusing yourself you dipped out until you were out on the back patio. Alone to just think and mull over any little thing that should have tipped you off, but didn’t. You let it slide on, blinded by how much you thought you loved him.
You weren’t left in the peaceful night long, until Steve was joining you with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle of red in the other.
“You looked like you could use a glass or two.” Steve gibed carefully. “I’m just using your sour mood as an excuse to escape from the party.” You were about to object when a full glass of wine was shoved into your grasp.
“I’m not in a sour mood. I’m just swell.” You spoke before taking a big swing of the drink, nearly emptying it’s contents, sending it barreling down your throat.
“Sure, honey. Just like the green monster isn’t oozing out of you.” You found yourself intentionally growling at him, just a little agitated of the truth he spoke.
The absolute audacity on this man seemed to never end. Whether it helped you or caused more misery than he intended.
“It certainly doesn’t help that she's so goddamn perfect. Was she fucking made in a lab? Jesus Christ.” You were jealous and if Steve already knew there was really no point in hiding it. It was written all over you, the longing look you were giving Bucky all night, desperately wanting to be the one he wanted.
“She’s not perfect, nobody is. Just better at hiding her faults than everybody else.” He said it like it was some known fact. Something you should’ve already known, but insecurities tended to eat you alive. Truthfully, it didn’t help that Bucky acted like Natasha walked on water in his hopeful, gleaming eyes. Stinging you like a bee piercing your soft, plush skin for the first time.
He really loved her. It didn’t matter how many times she messed up, what he felt was all the same — she was the one.
“Really? I don’t buy it. Name one.” Steve perched himself on his knees in front of you, his hands on the armrest of the chair you made yourself comfortable in. “Okay.”
“How about the fact that she loves Bucky just about more than anyone else but she’s too selfish to let him go? Then, for months she leads him on and promises she’ll come home but always leaves him heartbroken.” Steve let it flow all in one breath, as his body rested between your legs.
“Sounds gruesome.” You confessed because it hit a little close to home. “Yeah, it is and he has no right to do the same thing to an angel like you.”
You hated how he was right, truly hated it, but anyone with eyes could see how much Bucky dragged you through the mud. He had a good heart, but it just hadn’t been good to you.
Bucky’s intentions weren’t malicious and it didn’t seem like he was either but it didn’t take away from how much he continued to hurt you. All of the unintended consequences only affected you as he went on with his day.
Over and over, he continued to cause you pain and he didn’t even know it. Or he did and just neglected to acknowledge it. If he did, he’d actually have to deal with just how much he was actually hurting you.
It wasn’t like either one was particularly gunning for the latter, but Steve was. It wasn’t the first time Bucky had left you high and dry whenever the red head, beauty stepped foot into town. Although it was the first time you had a front row seat to the attention she commanded from him.
You both sat there in silence for the moment, taking in the starry night as he rested his cheek against your leg. He began running fingertips up and down your exposed calf, letting him soothe you.
“I’ll keep thinking I’ll be alright. That’ll get over him, but he just keeps pulling me back and jerking me around for his ride and I let him.” If anyone saw you besides Steve, you didn’t think you could handle it but you’re comfortable around him.
He’s continuously been there for you everytime Bucky pushed to the side for her. Always so sweet, so tender, comforting you in his warmth. Never once judging you, always taking the time time to just sit and listen to you.
“I don’t think it’s even about him anymore. I’m just chasing this unattainable moment, just so I fill this void in me. Maybe if he loves me I can love me, too.” Mumbling under your breath, hoping he didn’t hear you.
“Bubba.” You smiled for a second, as his voice dripped in concern. “You don’t need him or what little he can offer. Not when you can love yourself better than anyone else can.” He pulled himself up to his feet, picking you up from the chair until you were surrounded by just him.
“We love you. I love you, so stop listening to those nasty little thoughts, bubs. They’re far from the truth. You are truly amazing, incredibly beautiful, and deserve the absolute world.” With slight pressure from his index, he tilted your chin up, letting your eyes drown in his.
“Don’t expect anything less.” Steve breathed out, before testing the waters. He just held you there, caressing your back as you just sunk in his arms, allowing his warmth to ease your hurt. Just like he’d done so many times before.
Somehow, Steve seemed to know exactly what you need to hear. You didn’t know how he managed to be so wonderful all the time. Maybe you could just stay there forever with him shielding you from every single evil in the world out to get you.
“Can you take me somewhere? This is the last place I want to be.” Steve simply nodded before lacing your hand in his, before making your way back inside.
The moment the two of you stepped foot into the house, it was silent. Everyone looked at the two of you. Steve took notice of the Bucky’s bugged eyes at the joined hands of his two best friends, but knew better than to verbally acknowledge it.
It wasn’t something Steve and you hadn’t done, but never in the prying eyes of Bucky. Thor and Wanda had taken note of it a few times, but never spoke a word about it. Secretly, Wanda hoped it meant something for you, because she could see just how much Steve adored you.
He never spoke a word, so you remained clueless to a feeling he never felt like he had a right to speak on. No matter how strongly he felt, he knew if he confessed, it would do more damage than good.
You had become one of his closest friends in the past few years he’d known you and he wouldn’t jeopardize it for anything. Selfishly, he left you under Bucky’s radar because being your friend was far safer than risking the rejection he was sure would be sent his way.
He knew you were close to cutting Bucky off from your life completely, he just had to wait it out. Natasha being here tonight was the icing on the cake for Steve, because all he had to do was be here for in a way Bucky never could. Not when he was slicing through your heart every time his attention diverted from you to her.
Just because he was stuck in a past love instead of the future and Steve would fully take advantage of it — being there for you in any way you needed.
Regardless of everything, he wanted to — needed to. He couldn’t live with himself if he let you go through the hurt and heartache alone. Not when so many times you had seeked the comfort of him to lean on. Steve would never be one to say no to you.
“Are you leaving, doll?” The endearment Bucky intended to be sweet but left a sour taste in your mouth. More than that, you didn’t miss the way Natasha’s eyes widened slightly at the use of his pet name for you. The one she thought was only reserved for her.
Maybe if he held affection for you like he did earlier today, your heart would be filled to the brim, but he didn't. So, you weren’t. “Yeah, Steve’s going to take me home. I have an early morning tomorrow and I’ve already had a bit too much wine.” Bucky didn’t argue, nodding with a tight lipped smile.
Perhaps his indifference is what made you hurt even more. He didn’t care about anything, not even you with you so closely tangled with Steve. It didn’t have an effect on him because the woman sitting by his side, draped over him held more value than you ever could.
“You sure? I can make sure you get home safely.” Bucky pleaded, but before you could respond Steve did.
“I got it, Buck. I’ll make sure she gets home.” He looked like he wanted to say more but he decided to stay silent as he watched you walk out the door with Steve, hand and hand.
The drive home in the Uber was silent, Steve didn’t say a word, just the weight of his arm holding you close. He took note of how you refused to look at anything but the luminescence of the New York’s city lights captivating your vision.
Even if it hurt Bucky only chose you whenever Natasha wasn’t around you couldn’t help but focus on how hot and heated your body felt with Steve so close to you. Holding you so tightly like he was afraid you would let go.
Perhaps it was a bit shady of you to drape yourself over his childhood best friend whenever he rejected you, but now you were finding yourself finding solace in Steve in everything, like you used to with Bucky. He had become this safe place for you, where you wouldn’t be shamed for how you felt or what you were going through.
Even if he knew how much you were hurting from your own obliviousness to Bucky’s behavior, he always let you find solace in his strong, comforting arms. Always sturdy enough to hold the weight of your hurt and what he was carrying too. Just like tonight.
“He’s never going to love me the way I want him to — like the way he loves her.” It wasn’t a question any longer, it was a stone cold fact. Something you’d tried to ignore over the past year, especially.
Not wanting anything in this moment but him, you laid your head on his chest, his steady heartbeat giving you a sense of peace in the aftermath of your heartbreak. The crisp material of the white button up he was wearing shifted from the weight of you, he didn’t really mind.
“I think it’s time for me to let go of this image I have of him, one he can never live up to and accept him for who he is and where he’s at right now.” Steve nodded, still not saying a word, slipping farther and farther away from you as he let his thoughts consume him entirely.
It’d been happening a lot more lately. This. The close, excruciating intimacy between Steve and the woman he was in love with.
Over the past few months, anytime you were upset about something, you would show up at his doorsteps crashing into him as you wept. Always wanting to be close to him, snuggled up to his side, bleeding your heart out to him, something you hadn’t done with anyone.
Not even Bucky.
Then there was the one kiss on New Years’ Eve a few weeks ago which stayed imprinted on the forefront of his mind. He remembered when he woke up the following morning, he was holding you to his chest, the both of you bodies laced with one another.
He got up before you were there to consciously witness it, but it was all he thought about weeks after. Being that close awoke the need to be near you. It was already there, but now he knew how it felt to hold you in the comfort of his own bed.
It nearly killed him when you woke up, making your way down the stairs from his bedroom, wearing nothing but his boxers and the shirt he wore last night. Steve wasn’t drunk enough to completely forget the whole night, nothing had happened in his room last night. Seeing you, in here, in his apartment, made him think what his life could possibly be like with you here.
If he was ever to be so lucky.
As of yesterday, when you told him Bucky finally wanted to move forward with you, it broke him. Even if he kept his true feelings hidden, he felt you crush his heart with one fatale squeeze. Any particular hope he once had, was diminished into a fantasy far from reality.
The both of you were Steve’s best friends — he had to be happy for you.
Then, Natasha came to town. Storming through Bucky’s heart just like she’s always done. When Steve invited you to the dinner his best friend was trying to keep you from, he knew it could possibly be the last fatale blow to whatever string your relationship with Buck was. Maybe his, too.
Steve knew going after you could mean losing his really good friend, but he simply couldn’t stop himself. Not when you were a pure goddess ascending from above in all of your glory, capturing his heart in every single glance you threw his way. At this point, he didn’t care what it’d cost him.
As long as he had you, it would be worth it.
When the car pulled up to your street, you let your hand glide down his chest, resting on his lower abdomen. Not missing the way his body trembled under your touch, the thin material of his shirt doing nothing to protect him from you — not that he wanted to be anywhere but here.
As soon as those sinful words left your mouth, he knew he was done for.
Perhaps, if the both of you hadn’t been tipsy of the bottle of wine you shared, you wouldn’t feel the urge to invite him up, but he smelled too good and acted too perfect for any other consideration.
“Do you want to come inside, Stevie?” You purred watching the gears switch in his mind. Contemplating if he really should go through with it. Now that it was within his reach, he was becoming hesitant to grab it. You were drunk, he was drunk. Hence the uber and the both of your cars left behind in Tony and Pepper’s driveway.
“I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to go up there, bubs.” Instantly, you pouted. A deep frown etched on your beautiful face. “Why not? I think it would be a wonderful thing. Don’t you?” With one swift movement, you were cupping his crotch, making your intentions more than clear.
The grunt leaving Steve’s mouth was animalistic as he tried to exercise the very little restraint he was holding onto. It seemed to become increasingly difficult as you refused to move your hand away.
“I need you to take care of me and I’ll take care of you.” Finally releasing your grip on him, you exited out of the car and you didn’t have to look back to know he was falling you into the lobby of your apartment building.
After a silent elevator ride, with you tucked into his side you made the walk down the narrow hallway into your home, fidgeting to open the door with Steve’s hands caressing your sides. Carefully watching as you kicked off the painful heels, the bottom of your feet thankful, pulling you deeper into the apartment.
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” You retreated, afraid someone else might turn you down, too. If Steve did, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. He’s been your person you can count on and now you couldn’t imagine your life without him.
Stopping your movement once you reached your bedroom, you were still waiting for his response. Meticulously, he reached for hand before twirling you around your back pressed against his front. Sighing, when his hand dragged up your spine, while the other hung on your waist with his hand pressed against your stomach.
Pushing the thin strap of your velvet dress, letting it fall off your shoulder. Soft, firm lips touching your soft skin, you couldn’t help but lean back into him. Tilting your head back, offering yourself up to him on a silver platter.
His touch felt like heaven and you didn’t think you’d ever want him to leave. Not when you always felt safe wrapped up in his large muscular arms. Never making you question if you felt wanted.
“Right now, my body wants you as badly as it ever has.” Steve confessed while his lips migrated towards your neck, giving you some much needed attention.
“Does it?” You questioned him, losing any other train of thought as let his other hand push the other strap off your shoulder, the slinky dress falling to floor pooling at your feet.
“It does, sweetheart, but it’ll have to wait.” Already pouting like the brat you were, ready to seduce him right into filling you up, just like you brought him here tonight for.
Dropping down to your level, Steve whispers in your ear, “Because when I fuck you just the way your pussy is aching for it won’t be when you’re drunk, princess.” Throwing gasoline on the fire he created, sharply he bit your earlobe, making you moan.
“I’ve thought about this so much, princess. At first, I thought I would take you from behind, but then I wouldn’t see those begging, doe-eyes itching for a release.” You were trembling for him. His filthy words flooding straight to your slick, crying for him already.
“Maybe you’d want to ride me, huh? Do you want to fuck yourself on my fat cock?” At this point, if it was anyone else, you’d be embarrassed if he found out just how wet you were. Your panties are completely ruined because of him.
“I want to ride you so bad, Stevie.” Maliciously, he laughed before giving your clothed pussy a rough slap, causing you to gasp out. Your nails digging themselves into his bicep as you reached for it.
“Well, if you had been a good girl, maybe I’d let you cum on my cock.” You turned around face to face, ready to bruise your knees for him in a heartbeat. In this space and time, you’ve never wanted anyone more.
Harshly, he gripped your chin as his thumb smoothed over your bottom lip, dragging it down so it plumped right back up. “Bucky will be here tomorrow morning, if not tonight. I took his precious little play thing home and he’s not gonna like that one bit.”
“He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. If you want to let him, by all means go right ahead. And if you don’t? You know where I live, princess.” Very much in contrast to the last few minutes, he sweetly kissed your cheek and headed out right back the door without so much as a second glance.
Leaving you with a hell of a lot to process.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
tagging: @tonystankschild | @andromedasstarship | @tinylumpiaa | @brattycherubwrites | @bval-1 | @kayteewritessteve |
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artnigth · 3 years ago
Text
Migraines Part 2
i made it!! Part 3 tomorrow BABY!! (probably) 
MIGRAINES PART 2: Raz was walking all the way back to the Questionable Area, more specifically his family’s camp in the campgrounds. It had been a long day, he agreed to cover Gisu’s afternoon shift since she apparently had an “appointment” or something. Norma and Lizzie kept pestering him to see if Gisu actually had a date of sorts, but he knew as much as they did on that topic so that fun little conversation went nowhere. He was finally able to go home and take a nap, he was ten after all (and very tired). “RAZPUTIN!” A scream coming from above breaking his line of thought. Raising his gaze, Raz saw just as Ford Cruller flew to the spot in front of him. The senior Psyconaut might have been very old, but after Raz had fixed his mind it seemed that the senior was back in his prime. “Your brother needs help.”- the tone of Cruller's voice was concerned but not surprised, neither was Raz. “What are you talking about?” “Your brother is lost in the forest and- “QUEEPIE GOT LOST IN THE FORGETFUL FOREST?!” “Your other brother Razputin. Dion, was it? He got lost in the forest and is having a Psychic overload.”- Ford’s tone was calm but a little tired. “Dion? Having a Psychic overload? No offense agent Cruller but Dion isn’t a Psychic. But I do believe he could have gotten lost in the forgetful forest. Let’s go tell my family to go and search for him.” Both of the Psychonauts ran all the way to the Aquato camp, encountering Agustus at the entrance. “Dad! Dion got lost on the Forgetful Forest, we need to go look for him!”- Raz was tired, his tone was halfhearted and kind of over the whole situation. Agustus’ eyes were wide, he stepped back a little at the sight of Ford Cruller. Ford stayed back for Agustus’ sake, he was clearly not over what had happened and Ford couldn’t blame him at all. “How did Dion get lost in the woods?”- Agustus decided to ignore Ford’s presence focusing on his middle son and the dilemma that had been put into focus. “So that’s where that boy is… His friend came here a couple of hours ago and both her, Frazie and your mother have been looking for him since.”- Agustus sounded tense, but neither of the Psychonauts minded. “Friend? Dion has friends?”- Raz was a little surprised but not too much. “Yeah, that was Frazie’s reaction as well. Let me call them, I’m pretty sure they’re gonna be happy to finally find out where he is.” . “HE WHAT?!”- Donatella did NOT sound happy about finding out where her oldest son had been all this time, scaring her children and husband even if just a little. Frazie, Donatella, Raz, Agustus, and Ford were now standing at the entrance of the Forgetful Forest, with Dion’s “friend” not being there yet. “UNBELIEVABLE. I THOUGHT WE HAD TAUGHT THAT BOY BETTER THAN TO GO INTO THE WOODS ALONE! IF YOU FOUND HIM WHY DIDN’T YOU DRAG HIM BACK, FORD?!”- Donatella kept rambling for a while her temper getting worse with each word. “That’s what I’m trying to explain, Dion seems to be having some sort of Psychic overload. His abilities being so overwhelming to his mind that he can’t control what he does. I had similar experiences when I was a young Psychic, everything was to much to deal with.”- Ford was still standing at a distance from the family, his voice calm but still concerned. “FRAZIE!! DID YOU FIND HIM?!”- a voice was heard from high into the sky. A figure suddenly falling from the sky on a skateboard and landing between Ford and the Aquatos. It was Gisu on top of her skateboard, who stepped off to be at the same level as everyone else. “Gisu?! Aren’t you supposed to be at an appointment??”- Razputin sounded ofended and blindsided. “Appoinment? I never said that.”- Gisu was clearly confused on that topic. “Adam said you had an appointment and that he needed someone to cover your shift, were you here all the time?” “Yeah… I just told Adam I was leaving early, I never said anything about an appointment.” “But… But… You know what, nevermind.”- Raz sounded defeated, Norma and Lizzie were right, and he hated to admit it. And a possible date with his brother out of all people, ugh. “So… did you found Dion, it’s been hours…” “Agent Ford did, Dion’s apparently having a psychic overload in the forest. So we are going to start a search party into the forest.”- Frazie’s tone was her typical sarcastic annoyance but concern was still heard as a shadow in her voice. “Ok, I’ll go high to try and spot him from above.”- Gisu sounded a little desperate to find Dion clearly concerned. But she was still her determined and confident self. She stepped on her skateboard and suddenly she was gone, flying into the sky. The rest of the Aquatos, and Ford separated into the forest to look for Dion. Raz and Ford went north, meanwhile, Donatella and Agustus went east, Frazie stayed back to look after the kids and just in case Dion found a way back to the camp. . . . . .
Gisu was hovering above the Forgetful Forest scanning the area below as well as she could. She was looking for that dorky acrobat that she had gotten to know for the past two months, wondering how could he had managed to hide this type of issue long enough to have such a breakdown. Throwing agent Ford from the middle of the woods all the way to the campgrounds wasn’t a small action, levitating someone that far was impressive for someone who has repressed their powers for as long as Dion has. Her thoughts were interrupted when she got close to losing her balance and falling. A force trying to push her away from an exact spot in the forest, a small clear in the forest where there was a boulder. Trees were being pushed so hard away from that spot that some were being uprooted from the ground. Carefully Gisu did her best to go as close as she could in her skateboard, eventually she had to descend to the ground since she couldn’t move forward anymore. Gisu moved forward slowly, every step felt like if she was pushing a boulder that was getting heavier and heavier with each step. By the time Gisu had gotten to the boundaries of the clear, she had to hold on to a tree or else she would have been thrown away. Looking at the boulder she could see a familiar figure sitting in front of it, with his knees covering his face and his hair being an unrecognizable mess. There was Dion, shaking and sobbing in front of that boulder. Gisu was stunned. What happened to him?! Is he okay?! “Dion?!”- Gisu’s voice echoed through clear, her tone concerned. “GO AWAY!”- Dion’s voice roared into Gisu’s ears, almost deafening the girl. “You need to calm down, you’re destroying the forest!” “GISU YOU NEED TO LEAVE, I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU!”- misery emanated from the boy, in all of his seventeen years of life nothing like this had happened to him. He was terrified of himself and very much lost in his own despair. Gisu stabbed the ground with her skateboard, propelling herself forward and using said skateboard as a cane in order to get the closest she could to him.  Using her own telepathy she tried her best to counter the force of Dion’s own psychic energy. The closer she got, the stronger Dion’s energy became, it was crazy and she didn’t know how to handle it. “GISU LEAVE!” She kept walking onward taking no mind of Dion’s words, just a few more steps and she would reach him, but it felt as if he were miles away. “GISU, STOP!” Her strength wavered, all of his force suddenly focused on her alone. His mind was tormented by screams, guilt invaded his body. HE had thrown Ford Cruller into the sky. HE levitated an old man and threw him to oblivion. HE had killed Ford Cruller, all because of… because… “DION PLEASE LET ME HELP! I’VE SEEN THIS HAPPEN A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. YOU JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN AND BREATH!”- Her cries resonated through the clear, her skateboard started to crack under pressure, she needed to act as fast as she could. She increased the energy she was putting into protecting herself and she kept moving forward. Dion felt hopeless, he needed to get Gisu away or he would hurt her like he hurt Ford. “GISU, PLEASE I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU TOO!” The whispers in his mind were long gone, replaced by screams of fury, guilt and fear. This time he knew all those voices were just him. HE was tormenting himself for what he had done, screaming into his mind until he broke and finally exploded. HE thought it was fair, he deserved to end like this. Not just for what he did to Ford but for how he treated Raz, how he annoyed Gisu with his stupid questions about psychics, how he treated the people around him, how he was bound to explode and no one, not even himself, could stop it from happening. But at least he would make sure to not take anyone down with him. Suddenly a soft sensation was felt on his shoulders, like a thin blanket. Dion looked up from his knees and there she was. Gisu holding on to her skateboard, her knuckles white from the effort. Her hair waving as if a storm was hitting her directly on her face. A soft smirk planted on her face. Her scarf missing from her shoulders and gently placed on his. Tears began to run down from his eyes, all the way to his chin. The pressure stopped, the screams wavered turning back into whispers and the world finally stopped spinning. Gisu took his hands and gently lifted them both to stand. Her hands were rough and cold from all of her mechanical projects with Otto, but for Dion they felt like a safe place, something he hadn’t felt from anyone ever since he was a child. “Let’s go back to the campgrounds your family is looking for you and it's getting dark.”- her voice was soft, a hint of relief on her tone. Dion nodded. They started walking out of the clear and reentering the forest. They had a long way back and Gisu knew it was better to hold her breath since the Aquato family were definitely going to have a rough night. END OF PART 2.
PART 1:
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Heyo! I was wondering if you could do a scenario during the uprising arc where the reader starts to realize she has feelings for Levi but at first he rejects her? Then during the night before Shiganshina he realizes about her feelings and ends up returning them knowing he doesn't want her to get hurt or die? Some angst fluff please and thank you!
Okay anon you have no idea how much I enjoyed writing this. It's super long and I love how it came to me so naturally. I hope you enjoy
Warnings: a little angst!?
Tags: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort
Promise
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It all started at the sight of his wet fingertips grazing the broken rim of a teacup. A flutter, a feisty spark in your heart that seemed to drown it in full might had made its presence known to you in a very particular, unwanted moment. The flicker of a tiny flame danced before your eyes, sat at the frame of the window near the sink where you proceeded to rinse through washed dishes.
Levi's pale, chapped skin pulled on his knuckles leaving an unnatural yellowish white tone behind, indicating his involvement with excessive amounts of cleaning products. And for the first time, the sight really pulled a string in your poor heart in a way that was enough to convince you to break the dense silence in the room.
But maybe, you thought, Levi wouldn't want to talk to you.
With an unforgiving steel gaze he stared at your face, blinking in soft, yet erratical paces as you stopped plumping the water from running. In response your tongue was forced to slip inside your mouth and push any unspoken word back to its source, in the depths of your brain. All of a sudden you felt so afraid to talk, so petrified by the general idea of a three syllabus word that wouldn't ever spare the misery off of anyone.
Rejection
Captain seemed to be on the rejective side nevertheless so nothing regarding your newly discovered feelings would matter to him anyway, so in a way you blamed yourself for getting overwhelmed with this whole situation. A dark cloud of doubt shadowed your mind with the intention of interrogating your heart's intentions; perhaps you were mistaken. How on earth could you have been in love with the short man, you didn't know. There were far too many differences between the two of you, be it in appearance, mannerism or even -and more importantly- experiences. Supposing you had lived through similar occurances in battles outside the walls was enough for anyone to consider the two of you to be very alike, it was at least dishonorable to compare your childhood or teenage years to his.
"Nice hands" Of course you had managed to utter the most embarrassing choice of words to him, your mind could never cooperate with you when it came to such serious situations, something you hated so very much. The obnoxious dryness of your eyes was slowly migrating in the caves under your tongue, you could feel your mouth drying more and more by each passing second, yet you did nothing to prevent it.
Judging by Levi's puzzled expression which included his head slightly tilting forward as if to hear you better you knew he was as awestruck as you were at your own words. "I don't really understand where you're coming from but thank you, I guess." He spoke, the usual monotone tint staining his voice. You whipped your head back to a fixed position -on your hands this time- to stare down at the sink. The awkward glances you would throw at him went seemingly unnoticed and as time passed by you felt your tention overwhelming you, this time, completely.
Levi wasn't dense to any body language thrown at him and you were painfully aware. His cold eyes never spared you not even a half cornered look as he rubbed the little sponge on the soap bar next to him. His fingers danced on the ceramic plate, cleansing it in fast and very effective movements, leaving you staring in awe. Whether he was ignoring you on purpose or not you didn't know and you didn't want to seek an answer as to why but at this rate he would probably be the one to inquire why you were burning holes in his hands with your gaze. Again.
"I'm so sorry I'm fixated on your hands" Your mouth run, ignoring your mind's orders to stay shut "It's just-" Dammit think quick for once "You have nice nail beds."
There it was. The evidence that your words had actual brains and that they formed the most improper sentences on their own, just to torture you and push you deeper into piles of goowey, mushy shit. If Levi was anyone else he would have been laughing his ass of at the stupidness of your speech, you knew you would be laughing too if this wasn't as serious. Just as you were sure you heard a chuckle Levi placed the sponge on the bar of soap carefully and extended his arm, fully displaying his hand.
He seemed to study it like it was the first time he had ever even noticed it. The slick, long fingers, the oval shaped nails, his torn open knuckles. Perhaps you were kidding him for the lack of hair on the base of fingers he used to hold his blades with, those were burnt with years of being worn out by the steel triggers of the blades. He speculated this was common among most soldiers, so it didn't seem like a reason to be kidded for and in addition you never were the person to just spit senseless insults as jokes to your comrades.
"Is there even a point to talk about my hands? They're normal hands to me."
You bit your lip as your eyes widened in shock. Realisation hit you that this was probably more that absurd to Levi as it was to you, seeing you had started to talk about his hands out of nowhere. Your mind, in a state of panic, was in the midst of attempting to process every idiotic sentence you had the audacity to blurb out, but it never seemed to find an answer. Boiling with embarrassed, you wiped the water of your hands to your pants, an act that caught Levi's eye, and went to grab the first wooden chair that was in your path. You needed to sit down, to process whatever this was.
Yet, the only explanation you could find was that there was a raging wildfire in the pits of your stomach everytime your thoughts wandered on Levi. Yes, it was possible that what had started as an admiration, a tiny spec of a crush for the slender featured man had been growing on you since forever, but you had always burried it deep, in any hellhole that should accommodate such emotions as this was war and not the plot of sappy romance novel.
The air was cut down short in the room when Levi sat at a chair beside you, watching you over in such demanding manner that only he could master. He proceeded to light the only candle that stood at the middle of the table, possibly in hopes of flaring a conversation or causing a sane sequence of sentences to finally fall from your tongue. It was still unbeknownst to him what had caused you to trip over words as if you were a learning toddler and he yearned to find out, as a sole friend, not as the stern corporal he presented himself to be.
"(y/n)" His voice was tender as he spoke either much mindful to the teens who were sleeping in the next room or unwilling to let a private conversation between the two of you be heard. "If you think I can help with whatever is going on quit acting like a brat and tell me what's on your mind."
Momentarily, you wondered whether he'd stick to his words in case you spilled your heart's infatuating agony but you felt unable to think of a possible dominating scenario in the chaos of your mind. As self destructive as it sounded, you'd prefer to be the one to break your own heart rather than having to stand back and be a martyr to him tearing it off your chest and tearing it. Knowing Levi, this wasn't anything physically impossible, but you doubt that he could ever be as harsh with you.
"I'm just stressed. I have a lot on my mind."
"Erwin's trial and the future of the scouts, huh? Or is it that Hange works your ass off with those experiments?" You scoffed in denial to all of his inquiries, knowing full well that you could have used them as excuses. Levi's sharp hand began a short trip with sole purpose to land at the top of your head, through your loose locks, in an affectionate manner, a little something you had picked up he would do when he really cared for someone. Everyone knew he wasn't particularly touchy, except for some emotional moments with his closest people; a hand on a shoulder and a pat in the head were mostly what you had witnessed him indulging. His hand ruffling with your hair wasn't profound and new at all, he had done so many times after the two of you would strongly disagree over formations and orders, showing you how much he appreciated your strong wits and your clever ideas. What was new was that the lone touch burned your sculp like hot iron and made your insides twitch.
"I'll make us some tea" the screeching creak of the chair being pushed back shook of your train of thoughts enough to form a reaction to his hand that still rested on your head. Almost as if he didn't want to take it off "We can discuss your problem in a-"
"Sit down" you demanded, voice stern, masked with seriousness that caught him off guard. "Take your hand off my hair, it hurts." You pleaded with your eyes to stay as dry as they were before but you were certainly unsure of whether they'd listen. "Can't you see?"
What was there not to see really. Levi probably knew of your fondness of him way before you managed to realise, as in second thought every move you had ever made in his presence betrayed you. He would have never tried to provoke a confession just to laugh at you, that you were sure of, but he had never made a move in reciprocation either, that alone made you sure of your confessions future's end and caused your gut to spit even more fire to the rest of your insides.
Levi was not perplexed, not even for a single moment, at your words that seeked to stab like daggers, he wouldn't allow himself to be toyed by his own emotions just this once. This is an erratical reaction to his touch, a rejection of his affections towards you and he feared he knew the reason. For someone as bright and emotional as you he never would have thought that you could have hid such tormentous emotions so well inside you, only to end up at this moment of snapping.
As much as he'd like not to be hurt in the slightest by your demeanor he couldn't help but feel a tiny string of his heart being pulled. Suddenly it was evident to him why you couldn't take part in normal conversations around him or why you acted so tense in his presence, why you were so rejective of his touches and he wondered if he should have done anything besides unknownably torture you for so long. Whether his heart wanted to hear a confirmation out of your mouth to it's pained pleading for reciprocation, his mind ignored. The time would never be right and as egoistical as it seemed he couldn't bear to lose someone else that close to him, let alone a significant other. From his experience feelings of love and adoration should never be spoken out loud in this cruel world, amongst soldiers, especially. It wouldn't lead to any good.
When you proceeded to speak the pit in his stomach was already welling in frustration and denial. "Levi we've known each other for years and whatever's forcing me to much on my words should stop."
None can do, this couldn't happen here, now, while being on the run by military police as collective criminal. Levi wouldn't allow you to speak those earth shuttering words, even if wanted for them to chaste kiss his ears and echo through his head. "Not like you haven't figured anyways. I'm so pathetic. To fall for my Capt-"
"Don't you dare utter any other word of that sentence. I won't forgive you if you do." His hand reached out to grab yours by the wrist, tightly, as if he didn't know you couldn't stand the intensity of the grip. The silence that towed over the room was freezing, irrational even; it made you want to puke your intestines right onto Levi's shoes. Your heartbeat was so fast, so unrhythmic that you felt like the vital blood red organ would burst out of your chest in a massive mess.
Τhere was an excessive amount of agony emitting from your eyes, slicing through Levi's chest, searching despairately for a sign he had a heart, just to remind you that it didn't belong to you. Your mind traveled through every possible scenario to find a reason as to why you had to endure this, did his affections belong to someone you didn't know of? Hange? Erwin? Nifa seemed to be close to him lately as well. Was he heartbroken before and swore to never love again? You hated that there was not a tiny little space in his heart for you.
Just as this tense moment began, it came to an end when Sasha burst into the room, shotgun on her shoulder and chestnut eyes as sleepy as they could be. Fatigue was overpowering her whole form and it was as evident as ever before your eyes. With a quick, exhausted salute she announced her self, unsure of if you and the captain could see her face under the shadows of the night.
"It's guard change sir!" She spoke.
"I'm coming sweetheart." You got up from the chair you were sat at, breaking your wrist away from Levi's grip in a harsh manner. You didn't spare him a second look as you took another deep breath and locked it in your chest in hopes of seeming a little more mighty. "Go take some rest. You deserve it."
With increasingly fast steps you storm outside the little cottage trying your best not to look back. You wouldn't bear to check if there was still light coming from the kitchen that should indicate Levi's persistent presence. Your knees trembled at the imagery but you wouldn't let your eyes rest behind you not even for a second. He would probably be drinking his tea, unbothered, thinking of anything but you and you would be lying if you were to day that it didn't hurt you. It hurt so much that it sent you on your ass, on the stone tile pattern under your feet. Your heart forced suffocating waves of pain through your whole body only to push out of your eyes in the form of hot, salty tears. As your sobs grew louder and your heartache became unbearable to the point you though you could feel your heart break in two, you pushed the ends of your palms into your eyes sockets to squeeze the pain and itchiness of the tears away. You promised to yourself this was the first and last time you would cry for him.
____
After that night you barely speak with Levi. Aside from following his orders with the eventual 'yessir' as a reply, you have managed to successfully establish a thick barrier between him end you. Your nights of accompanying him in his late hour tea sessions, or teaching him how to knit and embroider were no more. The times you would share your food with him after you'd hear his stomach growl from the small portion he would get were also no more. You had made sure to claim your small acts of affection back to yourself, how could you move on from him if you were trying to be nice.
You would profoundly ignore his gazes, his calls for you at his office at late hours of the night by random cadets. You wouldn't answer to him if it wasn't for something military related and you intended it to keep it that way until the announcements of the feast that would take place before the attempt of retaking wall Maria.
As you passed by a narrow street heading to anywhere away from the crowd of cadets with your drink in your hand, you bumped lousy into the onyx haired male. It was the first time in days or even weeks that you had spared him a glance but your eyes averted his upon impact. You couldn't stand this. It was suffocating you. The clicking of your ankle boots colliding with the ground might have been heard as you turned on your heels to flee the scene but Levi's stern clearing of the throat overshadowed it.
He wasn't having it anymore.
"Oi, wait! Stop on your tracks, this is an order!" He spoke, eliciting a groan out of you as you turned to face him. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"Captain, I seek to relax before a very hard mission, spare me with your punishments, I beg of you."
His blood boiled with your every word "Cut the damn crap (y/n) and talk to me like normal." It probably sounded more harsh than he intended but he couldn't find himself in a position to turn back time and rephrase those words. The drained look in your eyes tolled him as well. The fact that you were both so tired by this game of cat and mouse was profound and everywhere in the air around you and Levi didn't know if he could take it anymore.
At first he thought that it was for the best. If you both forgot about your feelings or found ways to distract yourselves by this distance then it would be so much easier for him to push through the upcoming events of Shiganshina, but he was surprised to know he was mistaken. Masking his feelings must have seemed easy when it came to grieve and loss; he'd spent hours in his room, with you, letting everything out and occupying himself with trying to improve his handwriting while doing paperwork, but infatuation, love, was different. Instead of fading by each passing day like anger and grief it only ever became stronger, fonder and more agressive, chewing on his insides in despair. He really did hate that he had allowed himself to feel that way but it was way too late by now. There was nothing he could do and the fact that you ignored him after almost squeezing out that much, much wanted confession was only making him feel more hollow and in pain.
But Levi knew how to control himself, he trusted his ability on that.
"What is there to talk about? Let me live my last day in peace." You barked, your eyes starting to dance towards his direction, landing on his chin, then at the curve of his unfairly full bottom lip, on his button upwards nose.
"Look." He paused, unsure of how to put his words into non hurtful sentences. "If you could just tell me why or share a few words with me. We could damn die tomorrow and I'd regret not ever talking you out of this unfair treatment you're giving me."
You wondered if you should open up your heart to him completely, without accepting any interruption from him just to cleanse your coincidence off of this weight. Upon deciding that there was truly nothing holding you back except for a silly fear of another rejection that could die with you tomorrow you opened your mouth to speak any words that came to your mind.
"Levi, I'm in pain. You rejected me. Plain and simple. I've spent so many nights wondering why I am unworthy of your affections but I can't wrap my head around you anymore."
"Is that the way you feel about me? That you're the one who's unworthy of me?"
"You always think so lowly of yourself. Makes me wonder how you trust your own abilities in battlefield. But yes. So I just want to know who is it for you? Who do you feel you're unworthy of?"
He paused for a moment, to regain any shattered piece of his heart you had thrown back to him with your statement. You didn't hate him, be always knew that, but hearing those words fall out of your mouth engulfed the matter into reality unlike before. He was ready to face it. Even if he was unsure of tomorrow he knew that if he was to stay alive while you were dead he would have torn his own brain out as to avoid overthinking this particular moment.
"You want the truth honestly, brat? I happen to think I'm the one unworthy of you. You've taught me how to write and read, you came into my office to check up on an underground scum like me to see if I was asleep. Dammit you even gave me portions of your food to help me withstand the long nights of sleeping in my chair. What have I done for you? Boss you around? Or is it my looks you're after?"
Your eyes widened at his last statement, momentarily preventing the tears that had gathered in the corners from falling. This wasn't a time to misunderstand his words and act foolish, this was the closest out of a confession you would get from the man and you were awestruck, amazed. If he wanted to know a reason you would give him one.
"I'll admit, you might have the face of an angel Levi and maybe that would initial draw anyone to you, including me but I didn't fall in love with you for that." You could tell he was taken aback by the raw nature of your words only by the small whimper that escaped his throat.
"Over the course of this relationship between us you have been there for me when I couldn't be there for myself, you've helped me improve, your hands are stained with blood and so are mine, but you've knitted with me, you've stitched my wounds, you've let me sleep in your bed when I found a giant cockroach in mine, you're so much more than what you paint yourself to be."
He stared at you with ogling, soft eyes. Had he looked at you like that before you were oblivious but there was something in those steel eyes that magnetised your own gaze, something you couldn't let go off. It was calming the knot in your chest with reassurance, bearing promises of the future but he didn't dare speak on them to ruin the moment. His head closed the distance between the two of you in sharp shiftings and now your lips were brushing his in the most suggestive manner possible. It had all happened so fast that you didn't have a chance to react.
"You realised" he whispered, voice soft as the melancholy of the theme of his words captured your breath "that if you happen to die tomorrow, I, myself will hunt you down, resecure you and then proceed to beat the living shit out of you every single day of your shitty life, right?"
He was so beautiful panting with desire under the moonlight and you would never forget. Out of all times this could have taken place it happened now, hours before a deadly expedition. The feeling of regret flooded your form, his as well for not acting upon your feelings sooner and Levi fought an internal battle as to whether he should kiss you or not. He desired to keep that kiss as a reward that you stayed alive for him but on the other hand he feared that this could well be his last chance to taste you for the first time.
"That's a weird way to say I love you" as his lips brushed closer to yours his heart felt like it would explode, he had pained to claim your lips, just once, just to know the taste of a beloved and he was sure he would be more pained to lose you.
As he pleaded that you came to him tomorrow he pressed his lips on yours, sealing the promise he demanded you to make to him. Your heart melted under the soft lights of a thousand stars.
____
As his arms wrapped around you, tears run down his eyes. That was it. You had fought to keep your promise nail and tooth. You had never managed let him down and to see that you were among the tiny amount of survivors lifted his soul to heaven. The touch of your skin, the salty taste of your neck, it all was real, you were indeed alive and safe in his arms. He wouldn't have to go insane over that fact that he would never get to look into your eyes again.
"I will always keep my promises to you." You hitched with tears running down cheeks, the shock in your core still trembling as ever.
"I know" He panted
"Besides, have you seen yourself in action, I wouldn't want you to hunt me down, oh Lord."
I am. In tears. Also I'm sorry (?) for such in depth descriptions of Levi's hands?
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animeyanderelover · 4 years ago
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Hi! actually I'm kinda embrassed for requesting prompt because I already ask for hc...but can I request Black Butler number 26 with Ronald ? Thank you!!💓💓
You really don’t have to feel embarrassed about this, I don’t have a limit for sending requests though I appreciate it if a person knows when to stop. But two requests are fine with me.
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, clinginess, death, killing
Prompt 26: “...Why do you cry?! Who made you cry?! Tell me their fucking names so I can rip their heads off for making my angel cry!!!”
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You hadn't quite realized how much time had already passed by, the whole day had been gone by in a blur, you not even realizing that it was already night, sun nearly having disappeared from the horizon completely. Time flew by fast, didn't it?
If you would have known that sooner, maybe this sudden news wouldn't have hit you that hard. Of course not only the old people died due to their age or a sudden disease took someone, who could have actually spend a lot more time under the living, deceased all of a sudden. Basically anything could happen to someone, no matter how old or young anywhere.
That had today sunken in in you, having attended the funeral of your closest friend. He had passed all too suddenly away, even for his parents his death had been a shock. The reasoning of death was unknown, the only obvious fact was that he had been murdered by someone, all alone and most likely petrified before his life had been taken from you.
His parents had told you that he had wanted to tell you something on that night, what exactly they didn't know. He hadn't even told them, saying that for now it was only for your ears to hear. It stung incredibly that he would never get the chance now to tell you and you couldn't hep, but wonder what exactly he had wanted to say to you. Now it didn't matter anymore anyways, he was dead.
And you, you were deeply caught in your palace of thoughts, going through anything you could have and should have done whilst you still had the time with him. It was funny, people never seemed to think about everything they could have done better whilst they had a certain someone in thei life until this person was gone. Why was that? Why didn't you do more for him? With him? The only thing you had left now were your memories with him and a bleeding wound his sudden death had left in your heart.
So you didn't even realize the soft knocks on your door at first, nor even when they seemed to get louder and more harsher. You were too deep in your own land, memories flashing nonstopping in front of your eyes. Memories which had once been sweet and warm, but now were bitter and painful. Why had he leave this early? He hadn't even lived his life yet. He hadn't met a nice person yet, hadn't even experienced true love yet. And now he would never.
"(y/n)! Hey! I know you're in there! What's wrong did something happen?" A sudden voice finally made you very slowly turn your attention somewhat back to the real world, realizing who's voice it was. Was it already that late since Ronald had appeared in front of your house? He usually was busy during the day, working didligently before coming later always over to you and spend the time he had with you. He was your boyfriend after all. A clingy and very smothering boyfriend, but you still loved him a lot.
At first you didn't feel the real motivation to move. You had hit the bottom of your current misery, mourning over your best friend, the most idiotic, but lovable person you had ever met. Next to that you really didn't want Ronald to see you in your current state. Cheeks and part of your clothes, especially your sleeves, being stained with your own tears, hair disheveled due to having tossed around in bed the last few hours, meaning that your pillow had already fallen victim to your sorrow and crying. You didn't only feel shitty, you were convinced you looked that way as wel.
"(y/n)! Something is wrong, isn't it? What happened babe? You know you can talk to me about anything!" His voice was weakened due to the wooden door and the distance between it and your bedroom, being seperated by exactly one floor. But you still sensed it in his voice, the steadily raising worry and panic. Your eyes wandered to the door of your bedroom, thinking whether you should ignore him and spend this night alone or let him in and searching for comfort in him.
"If you don't open this door in the next minute, I'll break it! Come on, sweetie! Please let me in and help you!" You might as well have taken it as a joke at first, not believing that he would seriously break your door if it wouldn't have been for the following sentences. "(y/n). Open the door. Now."
There was this sudden switch in his voice, going from the typically 'overworried boyfriend' tone to something else. Just know he had sounded somewhat deeper and much more calmer than before, his voice somehow giving you the feeling that he wasn't kidding. You were talking about Ronald, he wouldn't do something like this...right?
Deciding that you didn't want to find out, you slowly started sitting up, blinking the exhaustion out of your eyes and wiping the wetness decorating your face as good as possibly away, hoping it wouldn't be too obvious what you had done the last few hours. But whom were you even trying to fool? Even the most oblivious person would have noticed that you had been crying.
"Don't break the door! I'm coming already." You had barely the strength to scream loud enough so that he would hear you, voice scratching uncomfortably against your throat, needing some rest after all the previous whimpers and small cries of yours. You actually contorted your face a bit when hearing yourself yelling those words, voice breaking at the end of the last sentence and the unpleasant hoarse sound your voice made. There was no way Ronald wouldn't have heard this.
He didn't. "Are you feeling well? You sound terrible! Please let me in!" The knocking sounds intensified together with his growing panic, making you hurry up, despite feeling like your body wasn't able to handle anything above just laying in bed. When hearing your steps approaching, you heard something akin to scratching sounds on the door, imagining that Ronald was getting a bit desperate.
Without any words you opened the door, instantly stepping behind it whilst holding it wide open for him to enter, hiding behind it since you didn't want him to witness how terrible you currently looked with your red and puffy eyes.
You heard him quickly stumbling in, almost falling due to having leaned his body against the door. But he managed to not be greeted with the floor, catching his balance and instantly turning his head around, searching for you. It took him less than two seconds before he had discovered your form, still hiding behind the wood.
One step was all it took for him to be by your side, grabbing the door and closing it quickly, shielding you and him from anyone outside witnessing what was going on in this house.
You had lowered your head to the ground, gaze focusing instead on his shoes which you could clearly see. They didn't really interest you, but you didn't want to look up in his face. A stupid thing to do, you knew he would make you anyways. But it was just how you acted right now.
"Babe..." His voice had gone soft, hands gently holding yours and squeezing them in a comforting manner. "What's wrong? What makes you currently feel down? Tell me how can I help."
You let out a bitter and pained chuckle, starting to grip his hands in a firmer hold as well, feeling the rising need to throw yourself in his arms and hopefully get rid of some of the currently heavy rain clouds of grief and aching surrounding your heart. "I don't think you can help me as much as you would like. Not in a wa you want to right now."
Bitterness was dripping out of every word you spoke and you found yourself quickly burrying your head in his chest and letting go of his hands, instead grabbing his arms and tightening your grip on them as you felt once again the burning and hot sensation of tears gathering in your eyes and tracing your cheeks once again. You were emotional and knew it, but who wouldn't be after such a shocking and heartbreaking loss.
Ronald himself felt his heart breaking a bit as well when suddenly feeling you clinging onto him so tightly, your tight grip on him being a silent and wailing plead for any sort of affection and comfort he could possibly give you. It hurt him seeing you like this, normally you weren't like this. The tears wetting his clothes in that moment were just adding up to this dolorous pulling on his heart strings and he felt himself embrace you rather quickly in a warm and slightly possessive hug, feeling himself growing slowly slightly angry at whatever or whoever had put you in your current condition.
"What's wrong?" Everything was wrong. You had just lost an important person and were crying rivers over him. "I...I...T-today..." You had barely time to hiccup anything, especially a full sentence out during your increasing sobs. You had thought that you had cried the worst part out earlier, but now that you had Ronald with you, the string that had seemed to hold your emotions in check seemed to be cut off, making everything inside of you turning up and down again. It was not a completely bad thing. it just meant that in presence of Ronald you felt like you didn't have to hide anything. Nevertheless, it only added even more layers of pain and heartbreak over your currently fragile heart.
You felt him tensing up the more your breath became erratic and the more you sounded like you would choke any minute on your own sobs, the more his grip tightened around you and his attempts to hush you and try to calm you down sounded more and more panicked. You hadn't even time to answer his questions, being too busily drowning in your own tears.
"...Why do you cry?! Who made you cry?! Tell me their fucking names so I can rip their heads off for making my angel cry!!!"
You stiffened up, slightly startled by the sudden loud noise which Ronald quickly noticed. "I'm sorry for scaring you just now! I'm...just panicking right now a bit because I don't even know why you're so upset. I want to help you and feel currently a bit useless because I can't do anything to make you feel better."
He had quickly lowered his voice, using a more gentle and comforting tone to not scare you again. You slowly managed to relax again in his hold, acknowledging the fact that he was right now just worried over you. "It's-it's fine. I'm just...my-my best friend (f/n) died today. Earlier his fu-funeral was held."
You felt slight confusion stirring up inside of you when you felt him shortly stopping in his movements, feeling his muscles cramping a bit under his skin. You lifted slowly your head, blinking up at him.
Maybe for the shortest of seconds you thought he had a weirdly guilty expression on his face, but maybe your vision had just been a bit blurred due to the still present tears in your eyes.
"I'm sorry to hear that. I remember that I've read something about this in the newspaper this morning. He was yesterday evening killed, right?" You just nodded, pushing the look on his face quickly away, deciding it had just been an imagination due to your tears. "Don't worry, it'll get better over time. I'll be here for you whenever you need me." You dearly hoped that you could believe in those words.
Maybe he should have thought about it more before doing it, he hadn't expected you to be in so much sorrow. Sure, he had definitely knew that you would go through a phase of sadness and pain, but he hadn't expected such an extreme reaction. He had needed about three hours to manage to calm you just enough down so you could finally give your mind a rest and go to sleep because he had realized just how exhausted you had looked, all the stress and crying tiring you out. His whole shirt had been soaked by tears and snot, but it wasn't like he cared. His focus had only been on helping you finally getting some sleep.
Maybe...just maybe Ronald could have done it a different way. But now it was too late to regret such things and thinking back, he had given the guy many chances to back off. He knew how close both of you had been to each other and the last thing he had needed would have been competing with your childhood friend. He had been unsure, feeling threatened. What if you would have chosen your friend over him?
But now that man was gone forever and whilst Ronald felt definitely terrible for having inflicted so much suffering onto you, he also couldn't help, but feel the tiniest bit glad that he would continue holding you whilst you were sleeping safe and soundly. You most likely wouldn't be that way if you would know that he was the one who had killed your friend.
But only him and your friend knew this. And that guy would never get a chance to tell you, he had taken that secret with him in the afterworld. Just like his love confession...
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mimiplaysgames · 3 years ago
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Terraqua Week Day 6 (Free Day)
Summary: Terra and Aqua are getting married—and Ven is the Bridezilla. || Word Count: 9,058
Read on AO3
A/N: @terraquaweek​ I could have never written this without my dear friend @localcryptideli​. We talked about this wedding years ago, and I promised to write it. It’s here, three years later, blending their headcanons with mine and I couldn’t be more proud of it. <3
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
the threads that tie hearts together
Terra never once considered in his entire life that his wedding preparations would include the perk of mice squeaking in his ear—but he here is, in the tailor’s studio, getting re-fitted for his tuxedo, with Princess Cinderella’s team of seamstress mice on his shoulders, measuring the length of his arms. His muscles were too big for the previous suit. 
Ven refuses to hire a proper tailor, and instead rents out the parlor so the mice could do their work in private.
Lea sits on a nearby bench by the shoe shelves, the top button of his shirt open, jabbing at his Gummiphone. He’s quite popular today, pinged every two minutes. Isa and Roxas share a mirror, trying to get the mechanics of their bow ties right. 
Terra is getting married. 
The thought. Married. Soon. Yes. Damn. He can’t cry right now.
Terra stands in front of a mirror and bends his elbows to see how the fabric moves. The mice are tiny, three of them in skirts. They’ve developed an efficient obstacle course of threads all down his entire body, a network so the mice on the floor can deliver them supplies—spools, sewing needles, thumbtacks, measuring tape—in a jiffy. 
Lea groans, squeezing his Gummiphone. “This twerp is going to turn me into a serial killer.” He yawns, possibly for the fortieth time.
“Not an ill-fitting job, all things considered,” Isa says from across the room.
“I do appreciate your sarcasm.”
“Who’s bothering you?” Terra asks, lifting his collar so the mouse on his left could thread through it with a sewing needle.
Lea snorts, slaps his knee and leans forward. “Did you not know your buddy is a monster?”
“Ven?”
“Oh, he’s a joy.” Lea holds his Gummiphone up as if he’s about to make a speech. “Come help me pick out Aqua’s flowers. Now. If you could.” He glances at Terra, then back at the phone. “He writes that in all-caps.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t mean to be so pushy.”
“The other day, he called me to model the bride’s dress because Miss Aqua couldn’t be bothered to come to the fitting herself.”
“Master Aqua was away on a mission,” Isa explains.
“Isa took photos of me in it—” Lea scrolls through his phone, but stops. “Oh, I can’t show you before...” He clicks his tongue. “It’s very nice. Very bridal.”
Terra is sure that’s true, but the image of Ven hanging his head so much on someone else’s wedding is worrisome. Last night, he fell asleep at dinner. “I think Ven is taking on too much stress.”
“Lea,” Roxas says, snorting a chuckle and giving up on his bow tie, “you should show him the texts.” 
“Gladly.” Lea stands to shove the Gummiphone into Terra’s face. Out of the history, a couple of messages stand out.
Ventus
I got 500 cake flavors come taste them with me
Ventus
Which cologne do you think terra should wear
COME SMELL 
i need a second opinion
Ventus
Do you have aqua’s flowers yet?
remember 
we want orange roses and bluestars
Ventus
Aqua isnt here im freaking out
Youre closest to her body type
HELP
After all that, Terra feels as though he’s being watched by several microscopic eyes. One of the mice squeaks with urgency, and he straightens one of his arms. “I don’t know what to say... Why doesn’t he talk to me directly?”
Lea purses his lips as though this is a secret not worth sharing. Roxas is the one to step forward, a knowing grimace plastered on his face.
“He told me that he doesn’t want to bother you with anything.”
That doesn’t sound entirely false but not true either.
“That’s ridiculous.” Terra tests the bend of the elbow to fiddle with his bow tie. It’s already done but something about it doesn’t sit right. “He could come to me for anything,” he says with a low voice, wondering if there’s something he’s missing. Terra has also been a mess. He’s getting married. Holy stars. 
Isa huffs out of frustration, turning away from the mirror, his bow tie undone. He studies Terra’s suit. “I don’t like it.”
His straightforwardness is well appreciated. Aqua would probably smirk at the sight of it and stare at his neck the entire ceremony. “I don’t either,” Terra says.
“Smart man.” Isa smirks, and tugs Terra’s bow tie to undo it. “Let’s change it.”
Lea snorts. “You might want to ask permission from he-who-shall-be-slapped.”
“It’s my wedding,” Terra says.
“So you think.”
He-who-may-be-slapped enters the tailor’s parlor through the front entrance, announced by the bell of the ring. He’s perfectly dressed in his ringbearer’s/best man’s/maid of honor’s suit, vest fitted, bow tie sublime, sleeves coiffed. He sees what Isa is doing. He gapes.
“Hey guys,” Ven asks with a frustratingly shaky voice. “What are we doing?”
“They are unbecoming,” Isa answers, wrapping a traditional tie around Terra’s neck.
“Oh.” 
Sometimes, speaking to Isa is like getting clocked in the stomach. By the looks of Lea’s expression, chewing on the edge of his Gummiphone, it’s well deserved.
“Okay,” Ven says, with a tight smile. He takes the tie from Isa’s hands. “Do they match?”
“A hello would be less rude,” Terra says. “Hi, Ven. Can we talk?”
Ven glances up. “Later. There’s lots to do.”
Lea inhales sharply. “Hey, Ven. Here’s an idea. Did you know you could tame cicadas to sing in harmony on command?”
Ven whips his head around. “You can?”
Isa brings a hand up to hide a smirk and Lea passes him a subtle wink.
“Picture it.” Lea opens his arms. “From nine until eleven at night, they gather in the bushes. They mutter, a light dusting of atmosphere on a peaceful summer night.”
Ven’s eyes grow wide with obsession. 
Roxas comes near. “You can also make them glow.”
“Like stars in the bushes,” Ven whispers to himself.
“Come on, guys,” Terra says, unimpressed. “Leave him alone. We’ve got better things to do.”
Ven snaps himself out of it, but not before pulling out a notepad and writing notes. He eyes Terra over, nudging him to open his arms and pinching the sides of the suit. Ven draws them in by the measure of a finger and pulls pins out of his pocket, like he’s been expecting to use them, and marks their places. “Jaq Jaq,” he calls, “where’s Suzy? We need to make sure these ties look right. Oh, and we need two extras—we have to ship some to Riku and Sora.”
Some mouse squeaks in reply.
“I can help her carry things.” Ven gives a flash of a smile and then hurries off.
Out of earshot, Lea gives Terra a look. “Anyone able to talk to mice is a crazy person in my book.”
Terra glares back and quotes, “‘You could tame cicadas to sing on command?’”
“He needs something to obsess over. How else am I going to get peace?”
“This is going to bite you in the ass,” Roxas says, wrapping his new tie over the neck and having a much easier time.
“Ventus may very well task you with hunting and gathering the cicadas,” Isa says, a tie already in place, immaculate. 
Lea groans and Terra feels it’s well deserved. 
Well deserved… the suit may be. The future wife, maybe not. The suit is a glove for every finger with no excess. It makes him a good-looking groom, a nice addition to the closet for any special occasion. The bride is beautiful, no matter what she wears. She is loyal, patient, strong, intelligent, loving, funny when she’s stern, too good for him, a divine gift he didn’t earn and he still can’t understand how she said yes.
“I hope you’re laughing at the face of my misery,” Lea says.
Terra knows that’s sarcasm. Weddings are headaches, emotions are terrifying and Terra needs Aqua like a sip of medicinal tea to calm down.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The others squeal when they walk into Le Grand Bistro. It’s sunset, the city lights already ignited and giving it the glow of evening fairies welcoming the moon. They’ve just discussed dresses—Xion requests a pantsuit instead, which looks stellar—and they can choose their own styles so long as they all wear the color of night. Simple, elegant. That’s the kind of effect Aqua prefers. Thank goodness they’re almost done. Aqua couldn’t handle more hands in her hair and she rejected the flower crown that would have come down on one side to compensate for the lack of length. 
She fiddles with the ring—a thin, intricate design weaved around a small, blue stone—as a waiter escorts them to the kitchen. On days when she doesn’t have missions, she wears it.
Aqua is getting married. Some part of her wonders about the surreality of it, like it’s a dream or a picture she created in her mind when she was a child, at the altar with a faceless person next to her. Sometimes, it feels like she is already married. Terra has always been with her. Every day in class. Every day strolling through the woods. Every day sparring, sharing meals, bickering and laughing. Her best friend, her confidant, her rock.
There is something about nearly dying that challenges perspective. When they both thought they’d never see each other again, it made them realize there’s more to it and there’s been more to it for years. The emotional intimacy that strengthened after the fact. The physicality of it, when he takes her to bed. They argue differently, they laugh the same. Terra has always been with her, so what is the difference between being with him and being married to him? A part of her is eager to find out. The other is already at peace, a kind of joy Aqua has always wanted.
Ven is in the kitchen, talking with Remy (responding to Remy, who is naturally unintelligible). Plates of cake pieces sprawl out on the table, eliciting oohs and aahs from the others, all patient like they’re waiting for Aqua’s permission to take a small bite.
Aqua reads through the description of flavors—strawberry, fudge, angel food cake with blueberries, red velvet, even coffee. “The one we requested isn’t here.”
“You mean…” Ven pulls out his notepad and looks through his notes. Remy climbs onto Ven’s head, squeaking and pointing to a bowl of flour and eggs, unmixed. “Dark chocolate and rum?”
“That would be correct.”
“A spicy cake? Are you insane?” At his shock and at Aqua’s denial, Kairi helps herself to a spoonful of vanilla. “This is a wedding, not a club!”
“My wedding, Ven.” Aqua isn’t annoyed, but amused. Ven has such strong opinions about for some reason. 
“Try this one.” He holds up a plate of a decorated piece that honestly looks delicious. “Triple chocolate, with the rarest berries found in the woods, matured at thirty-five degrees Celsius for a week.” 
“Burnt cake?” Kairi asks with a smirk.
“Not the cake, the berries.” 
“Oh,” Xion gasps, with need in her eyes. It takes a nod from Aqua to grab a fork and have at it. She approaches each piece with so much excitement— Aqua wonders if there are flavors here she’s never tried before in her short life. 
“What will the final cake look like?” Naminé asks, the only one not to dive forward. She’s so gentle, so serene. When they were trying out dresses, everyone was saying what a beautiful bride she’ll be one day if she chooses. 
“Perfect,” Ven says, like it’s the most obvious thing. “It has to be perfect so it will look beautiful. Painted like a night sky, with stars everywhere. You got that, Remy?”
Remy glares at Ven.
“I want,” Aqua starts, and when Ven frowns, she smirks. Sometimes, for the sake of maintaining control, she has to play dirty. “Rosewater and cardamom.” 
Ven sticks his tongue out in disgust.
“Terra needs something to enjoy,” Aqua insists. “These are all too sweet for him.”
“Terra is the bane of my existence.”
“By the way, I don’t know if I want King Mickey and Queen Minnie to officiate.”
“You are way more difficult to deal with.”
Aqua and Ven have a staring contest as the others talk about their favorite flavors. Ven, a glare, a challenge to outwit her. Aqua, a calm knowing that she’s going to win. Ven relents.
“Fine,” he stresses. “Remy, change of plans. We’ll need some damage control. Let’s add some”—he writes into his notepad—“fruit pastries, sweet cheese with chocolate—”
“Triple chocolate,” Kairi adds.
“Custard and kiwi,” Xion says.
“All good choices.” Ven writes them down.
“Sea salt ice cream?” Naminé says, lifting a shoulder. “Everyone else eats them, I hope to try some.”
“Ven.” Kairi slams a hand on the table. “You need to add marshmallows covered in hazelnut and chocolate.”
“We need all the chocolate,” Ven agrees. “Call it revenge on this nasty cake.”
Kairi cackles, but it’s nothing malicious. They’re young and excited about the wedding, their suggestions a way of helping. Aqua takes it all in stride. The small details don’t matter, only the intent, and letting friends have fun deciding makes the entire process easier. What’s bothering her is Ven. He’s exhausted from taking it all too seriously. Aqua assumes the best intentions, but she doesn’t get it.
“You know what would be really cute?” Xion says. “Little petit fours shaped in your symbols.”
Ven blinks. “What symbols?”
“Oh, the Keyblade Master symbols.” Naminé claps her hands. “That would be so lovely.”
“In different colors,” Xion says.
“Each a different flavor,” Naminé adds. “Maybe the same colors as your Wayfinders?”
“You two are geniuses.” Ven taps his notepad. “Remy, we gotta get to work.”
Remy stomps a paw and squeaks vigorously.
“No worries. You’ll get paid.” Though it seems that’s the last thing on Remy’s mind.
“Ven,” Aqua says softly, pulling him aside as the others brainstorm ideas. “I don’t think we can afford all this.”
“Sure you can,” he says too confidently, though she and Terra were the ones to save up their munny. “Don’t worry,” he stresses when she’s not convinced, giving her a squeeze on the arm. “You asked me to bookkeep your finances” 
“Reminder that I did not ask you to take full responsibility. Remy can’t do all of this alone, he’s going to need you.”
“I’ve got plenty of time, and we’ve got plenty of budget.”
Aqua does not know how that is possible. After the dresses, the refitting of Terra’s tux, the decorations… sure, since they’re using the ballroom in the Land of Departure, they saved on not having to rent out a venue, but the original plan was to have a small, intimate wedding in the woods, something private with just the three of them, minimal decorations necessary, all plucked from nature. 
All of this is out of their price range.
Ven goes back to the table, back to the stovetop and oven where he follows Remy’s instructions and mixes the flour in the bowl with some milk. He doesn’t assuage her at all, like he knows something she doesn’t.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Home should be a solace but not when it’s the wedding rehearsal. 
Ven has ushered in movers from different worlds to carry in artifacts, all decorations, all star-themed. Terra has yet to see the ballroom, but the amount of people rushing through the hallways makes him nervous. 
Ever since Terra called Riku in the dead of night (in a panic, needing someone to talk to, alone in the kitchen with a cracked mug of tea), blabbing about tripping on the way to the altar, or cutting the cake clean through the table, or stepping on linen and ripping the curtains, or dropping his plate of food, or looking like an idiot on the dance floor, or worse—forgetting his vows—he hasn’t lived a moment of peace. Sora won’t let him. 
Terra finds it hard to breathe. What if he chokes on his vows and accidentally offends everyone?
He stays far away from the workers—it’s for the best. No one needs a huge bull stampeding in a china shop, destroying everything.
Lea crosses the hallway on his sixth trip and enters one of two entrances to the ballroom, vases of flowers in his hands. Terra peeks. From the looks of it, Ven did a fantastic job. 
The ballroom, once gold, now looks like the set of night. The ceiling is covered in blue with twinkling lights. The table linens are also dark, with napkins and silverware sets a solid gold. Glass windows that take up one entire side to the ballroom are bare of curtains—the wedding is planned for after sunset so they’d be declaring their vows under the stars. Two navy blue carpets come in through both entrances of the ballroom, meeting in the middle and then straight to the altar at the far end. The point is for him and Aqua to enter together, like equals. With her in a bridal dress, she’ll look like a light in the darkness.
Through the doorway, Terra can see Riku and Sora, the latter making motions with his arms as if he’s flapping like a bird. Terra lets the door close so they don’t notice him. 
There are fears he’s never voiced.
What if she realizes she doesn’t want to get married to him after all? At the altar no less?
Oh stars, what if he makes a terrible husband? 
What if he neglects her?
What if, years down the road, she realizes after a slowly oncoming epiphany that she isn’t happy and regrets it?
Tonight is the party, tomorrow is the wedding, and Terra still has no vows. He pinches his nose hard enough to distract him from crying. He’s already cried five times in the arc of three hours.
Footsteps—light, brisque, confident, hers—approach him, and Terra embraces her in his arms, taking her in with a needy kiss. She smells like home, she lets him breathe again. 
“You look like you’re about to fall apart,” she says, stroking a thumb on his cheek.
“Not if you’re my glue.”
She snorts, smacking him on the bicep. “What did I say about the puns?”
“Shower you with them.”
He kisses her before she can roll her eyes—
—and gets interrupted the moment Ven peeks out of one door. 
“What’s with the hold-up?” he says.
Terra breaks from the kiss, casually noticing how Aqua is patting his shoulder, as if to warn him. “What’s with your attitude?”
Ven pouts like he’s about to choke and slaps the notepad to his forehead. “No one listens to me. I said baby blue and champagne on the napkins, all shaped to form the constellation of Juno… and they gave me yellow. I am gonna complain so much.”
“There are worse things?” Terra says and Aqua shakes his shoulder as another warning. 
Ven snaps his eyes open. “Get into position, we’re starting.”
Aqua stands behind one door and Terra goes to the other, waiting for the cue to enter. On the other side, Ven is speaking out loud, organizing people and where they should stand. Grooms and bridesmaids will enter the altar from behind and gather together, leaving the carpet only for the star couple (no pun intended). He interrupts himself, raising his voice about vases that match too much and Terra can imagine him pointing across the room.
“I have to tell you something,” Aqua loudly whispers from the other side of the hall. 
Terra runs to her and wraps an arm around her waist. Touching her is a panacea. Despite knowing there is still a possibility she’ll rethink this entire relationship, it seems unreal, like a nightmare.
“It’s about Ven,” she continues, keeping her voice low even though they’re the only ones in the hall.
“Lea threatened to slap him.”
She frowns.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Don’t you think it’s too expensive?”
“I don’t know. Ven doesn’t tell me how much anything costs.”
“It’s way more than we have saved up.”
Terra gapes. “Then how—?”
Aqua stammers, fiddling with her fingers. “I looked into his books.”
Terra melts into a breath-heavy laugh, careful to keep his voice out of it. “Reading people’s diaries? Aqua, I thought I knew you better.”
She blushes. “I didn’t mean to, but I was worried.” Now Terra is worried. Her expression is too serious. “Ven has been doing side-missions and hustles for months just to earn enough to hire the best chefs and tailors, to buy linens and all these flowers and carpets—” 
“He wouldn’t.”
“He did.”
“Why?” 
“I think it’s because he wants us to be happy.”
“We are.” Terra doesn’t appreciate how he doesn’t sound confident, scared he’s assuming too much on her behalf. “How could he just…”
“We were stuck in darkness for so long and he couldn’t help us.”
“But that’s not his fault.”
“He feels he is the weakest and wants to compensate.” Aqua grimaces and she blinks back tears. 
“I feel so guilty.”
“I feel worse.”
“Why?”
Aqua bites her lip. “I’m still attached to the idea of a small, intimate ceremony in the woods. Just the three of us. Does that make me a horrible person?”
“No. Our wedding has become a spectacle. Maybe pointing that out makes me terrible, too.”
She groans. “I found a book. I left it in your room. It’s very last minute, but there are some ancient rituals in there that I found so beautiful… the exchanging of rings is beautiful, too, but modern and there are some lost traditions from our Keyblade history that I’d love to do instead... if you could take a look?” 
The way she smiles, stars. Ancient, modern, he’d do anything for her. “Sure. I’ll read it tonight.”
Aqua winces. “He’ll be so angry with us.”
Terra squeezes her hand. “He wants us to be happy. Think about that.”
One of the doors burst open, and Lea sticks his head out. “Kindly stop being an ass and don’t keep your guests waiting anymore?”
They start: Terra at one entrance, Aqua on the other, entering the ballroom at the same time, where guests will watch them approach one another, like the shadow of the moon to a star. They meet at the point where their lanes merge into one. 
Terra offers his arm—
“Nonono,” Ven warns, running up to them. “You can’t meet her like this. You must bow at a forty-degree angle.” Ven scans the room frantically. “Here, I have a ruler.”
After that hiccup, Aqua finally takes Terra’s arm, walking down the single aisle, where guests can ogle at them. Their groomsmen and bridesmaids take pictures with their Gummiphones for their arrival at a wall of flowers. 
Sora has his hands behind his head and snickers when they reach the end. “I made sure the carpet is ironed out so she doesn’t fall with you.”
“I’m going to kick you in the shins,” Terra says.
He snorts and wipes his nose. “I’ll kick you back.”
At the altar, Ven is too excited to stop rambling. “We have to make sure that you arrive here, at this spot, at exactly nine-thirty so we can finish the vows at ten because...” He frames the windows with his hands. “We’ve got a perfect spot for star sighting so we need to be on time.”
“Do you mean, right after the wedding ceremony?” Aqua asks. 
“Before the reception, yup. We’re walking out to the balcony, we’ll watch the meteor shower where a new world will be born, then we’ll come back in for supper and dancing.” When he notices their stupefied faces, he continues, “I spent three weeks finding the right angulations so you can witness a unique astronomical event, and we’ve got a miracle of a spot right here so we can’t be late.”
“It’s a wonderful thought, Ven,” Aqua says, her voice shaky.
“Okay, now you get into position and face each other.” He points and they follow. “Next, Mickey and Minnie will talk some stuff, you know, all official, and then you say your vows.”
Terra freezes up. “Our vows.”
“Yeah. That’s what I said. You ready?”
Terra hesitates and Aqua speaks for him. “We’re keeping those a secret until tomorrow.”
Ven pauses, then shrugs. “Fair enough.”
Aqua doesn’t let Terra have another thought, leaning forward to kiss him in front of everyone (aahs and awws elicited), and ending the rehearsal.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“How do you get your skin so clear?” Kairi asks, though the warm glow of the fire makes for spectacular lighting. 
They’re camping in the woods near the waterfall, equipped with warm blankets and pillows, a bowl of cookies, and toasted marshmallows on sticks; Aqua’s vision of a bachelorette party. No gifts necessary.
“Mountain spring water does wonders for you,” Aqua says.
“I’ve read in a magazine,” Xion says, crawling out of her sleeping bag, “that some people like to put mud on their faces to get clean skin.”
“Why?” Naminé asks, chewing on a marshmallow.
“Something about the properties. Lots of good minerals.” She walks over to the creek, digging her hands into the dirt and smashing it into her face against the shocks and cries of the other girls. “If mountain water is good for you, then that must mean this mud is magical.” 
“Is that true?” Kairi says, though she’s asking no one. She hurries over and joins in on the mud-mashing, running fingers over Xion’s face in places she’s missed.
With globs of mud in their hands, they bring over the excess to the camp. 
Xion offers it to Aqua. “For beautiful skin on your special day?”
“It’s our job to pamper,” Kairi says with her hands out so that Naminé can scoop up the mud on her own. 
Aqua tries not to chuckle too loudly. It’s adorable. “Okay,” she says, and Xion gets to work, massaging it into her skin. It smells unpleasant, earthy and mukky. She closes her eyes and tries to relax regardless.
“I think we’re supposed to keep it on our faces for at least a half hour,” Xion says, rubbing more on Aqua’s nose. 
“This will make us prettier?” Naminé asks.
“Cleaner,” Kairi says. 
Naminé blinks, already covered in the mud and hesitating to put on more. “But we look dirty,” she says quietly.
“Can I request something, Miss Aqua?” Xion says, patting her fingers onto Aqua’s forehead.
“Certainly.”
“Can you tell us the story of how Terra proposed?”
Kairi jumps and squeals, and Naminé claps her hands, both of them chattering please, please, we’re dying to know.
“We’re around a fire,” Kairi says, as if that’s a convincing argument. “We’re supposed to tell stories.” 
“I feel bad for asking,” Naminé says. “You’re very private, and I don’t want to intrude…”
Aqua reads her face. “But you’re curious.”
Naminé pouts. Xion’s eyes go wide, and Kairi nods excitedly. Everyone is guilty as charged.
“It’s a simple story, I guess,” Aqua says, crossing her legs and watching the fire. It’s not often that she talks so openly about the details of her relationship. The two of them together is something people know, but never knowing where they come from and why, except for Ven—even then, there’s so much he never pries to. Watching their reactions is a little overwhelming. She rubs the stone on her ring. “Terra made the engagement ring with his own hands, but he took months to propose.”
“I remember that,” Xion says, sitting on her chair and smiling. “It annoyed Lea so much that he offered to set you both up just to get it over with.”
Aqua laughs. “I’m grateful we had it to ourselves.”
“Was it romantic?” Kairi asks.
“Not at all. I… knew he was up to something. I know him.” She lifts a shoulder. “He was burning breakfast too often, he couldn’t look me directly in the eye, and he left on his own to do more missions than usual. I took that as though he had done something wrong. The last time he was that clumsy and avoidant, it was because he accidentally cast Firaga in the library and was trying to hide it. Or when he broke the oven. Or when he offered to do my laundry but didn’t know how to treat my fabric and ruined my clothes.”
“He sounds like a clumsy oaf,” Kairi says.
That makes Aqua smile. She loves that oaf. “He is. The general rule of thumb is that a clumsy, avoidant Terra is usually hiding something.”
“So how did the proposal happen?” Naminé asks.
“I cornered him—”
Kairi snorts.
“—and he blurted it out.”
They giggle, Kairi acting out how that may have looked and Naminé holding her hands over her heart in a show of genuine affection. 
Aqua smiles to herself, a finger to her lips. It might be her favorite memory, her standing her ground and demanding to know what was going on. 
Terra, looking all around the terrace except for her face, guilty, guilty, guilty, pulling a box out of his pocket and stammering for a cohesive sentence. Well, I don’t know what to say, he had said, like a child getting grounded. I-I’m sorry. I’m dumb, I’m a big lump of a human being. He paused, his cheeks rounding up like he was about to vomit. Will…will you marry me, anyway?
It felt like racing in a train and pulling all the stops, crashing. He got red in the face, tears welling in his eyes and she realized he took her silence as rejection. Aqua had to hold his forearms, and all she could utter was a soft, I genuinely thought you burned down a building.
Terra’s eyes went wide. Do you mean you’re not mad?
Of course not. Why would I be?
So… He licked his lips, reaching for her but not touching her, forgetting that he had the box with the ring inside. What do you say? I mean, you don’t have to give me an answer straight away. I mean, I just thought you would… you know… because… He sighed. Yeah.
Aqua finally laughed, and kissed him on the cheek. Of course I will marry you, you beautiful dork.
The laughter quiets around the fire. They’re waiting for Aqua to continue her story.
“Then he drops the ring.”
They howl, melting into a blissful exchange of cheers and gossip, a vibrant hearth brighter than the one keeping them warm. 
“I had hoped to propose first, actually,” Aqua continues. She shrugs. “The end.”
“That was beautiful,” Naminé says, wiping her eyes.
“If Sora hears about this, he’ll never leave Terra alone,” Kairi says, grinning something mischievous. 
“I don’t know what love is supposed to look like,” Xion says thoughtfully, gazing at the sky. “But it sounds sweet.”
In Aqua’s opinion, the proposal was perfect, him scattered on the ground frantically searching for the ring, her on her knees helping him. How he slipped it on her finger, how they kissed for an hour in the dirt, unaware that they were dusty, unaware that anyone else existed in the world. 
Aqua nods, mostly to herself. It aches to be away from Terra tonight but it burns her insides to see him tomorrow and finally do this. Aqua wants to sleep and get this night over with but she doesn’t want to sleep so she could see the sunrise, knowing he’d be up early watching the same thing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bachelor parties aren’t fun.
Sora is whooping about a cannonball, the water splashing when he makes contact. Ven and Roxas race to the lake, testing who will be the first to dive, the first to swim across and come back. Considering the expanse of the surface area, they’ll be gone for a while and the barbecue will get cold, but maybe it’s for the best. It’s not the right time to talk to Ven right now, not when all of them have a moment of fun (except for Terra, the only one here thinking about tomorrow). Lea and Isa prefer to relax, sipping drinks on their chairs by the lanterns erected onto the sand, speaking quietly about memories, about chores, about home and what ifs. 
Terra sits by himself, the thin booklet Aqua gave him on his lap, tucked under layers of parchment. It’s titled The Way, no author. She was right: old Keyblade rituals are interesting, almost possessive, their focus on the literal binding of hearts. They’re from the Age of Fairytales, and Terra realizes as he reads through it that ancient Keyblade wielders were for some reason obsessed with the loss of memory and the prevention of it. The rituals sound painful, too—maybe Aqua has developed a mild taste of macabre from her time in the Realm of Darkness. 
All Terra has left to do are his vows. His stupid, dorky-sounding vows. He should have accepted the simple, “I do.” He shouldn’t have waited until the last minute.
He’s tried dramatic.
You are my other half, my heart, my breath of life, my sky, my angel, can we keep our souls together? 
He’s tried poetic.
The mountain will thirst if not for the water— 
He’s tried being honest.
I don’t know why you love me, but I’ll do my best to make it up to you.
All dumb.
Terra groans into his hands, eyes wide in existential blunder. 
“Keep doing that,” Riku says, setting a chair next to him and sitting down, “and you won’t be able to blink again.”
“I’m not finished.”
“But if you don’t sleep, then you’re more likely to have accidents.”
Terra gapes and almost whacks Riku on the side of the head from the sight of his constricted smirk. “You’re so mean. I called you one time.”
“In a huge panic talking about causing mass destruction of a wedding the worlds have never seen.” Riku shrugs nonchalantly. That’s his state of being—too cool for anything, too sensitive for everything. It’s refreshing. “It was the funniest phone conversation I’ve ever had.”
“I’ll never call you again.”
“Not in the middle of the night, please no.” Riku bites a forkful of steak. “Is it cliché to tell you to speak from the heart?”
“This entire conversation is cliché, but here I am, living it out.” Terra stares at his messy pages, where he pressed the pen so hard that it left ink blots.
“You could do the very committal thing and tell her you love her fifty times.”
“All the guests would leave by the time I reach twenty-five.”
“More like fifteen.”
“Ten.”
“Disaster.”
Terra grimaces, not entirely comforted, but not entirely anxious anymore, either. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“It is a big deal, I’ll give you that,” Riku says, more serious. “I don’t have any advice.”
“None of it makes sense. Be honest, but not too honest. Be loving, but don’t make it cheesy. Express yourself, but hold back on certain things. Do make it personal. Don’t expose personal details. How am I supposed to know how to do it right?” 
It would be easier if there are no witnesses. If it’s just Ven, if Aqua is the only person he’s talking to, if he could simply say, You’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I know I’ve fucked up. For as long as I live, I’ll never do that again. I will never take your forgiveness for granted.
And if she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, there’d be nothing he could say to make her stay.
“I think if Aqua was the kind of person who expected you to do it right,” Riku says, looking out to the lake where Ven and Roxas are swimming back to their shore, “you wouldn’t be marrying her.”
Terra bends the pages, exposing the cover of the thin, leather bound booklet. There are no vows he could use in there, except for the officiator declaring their hearts intertwined. “Thank you,” he mumbles.
“Sorry I can’t be of more help.” 
Riku pats him on the shoulder and leaves him alone to take a walk, Sora begging him to enter the water. Terra flips to a page where he’s repeated I love you, I love you all over, each in different calligraphy, like doodling, like losing his mind and procrastinating the night away, hoping that any moment, inspiration would drop bricks on him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It’s time.
The strangest part of the day is waiting it out in her bedroom until it’s her turn to show herself. Over the years, her bedroom has been a reflection of her personality. The cleanliness, the artifacts from her home world long ago, the size of the bed, the furniture—they all stayed the same. What’s come and gone were the paint colors, the bedsheets, the art on the wall, the smaller vanity mirror. Her bedroom is her old life, and she sits in front of the mirror in her bride’s dress, about to start a new one. For now, they both collide, as though her childhood doesn’t know her.
The cape dress is simple, plain white with the neck scooped across the collarbone. The sleeves slit at the shoulders, draping over to the floor with the rest of the train. Aqua couldn’t have asked for something better. She completes the look with the ring, a jeweled hair pin on one side, and an armored choker. Makeup is minimal. 
Aqua is surprisingly calm and the sun is going down. 
Her Gummiphone buzzes with a text message.
Terra
Let’s do it
Aqua sighs, not texting back immediately.
Aqua
I don’t want to break Ven’s heart
Terra
I’ll talk to him
We can both get what we want
I already stole some flowers from the wall
Don’t think he notices
She chuckles, moving a hair strand behind her ear. She hasn’t noticed that her stomach has been a knot, from excitement, from nerves, from anticipation. The sun takes so long to set. Terra is the warmth of a tight blanket.
Aqua
Will this label me as a runaway bride?
Terra takes a long time to answer, giving her the impression that he must have been distracted and forgot to reply. 
It buzzes.
Terra
The shame
Aqua
What will they think when they find out the groom seduced her to it
Terra
The scandal 
when they hear how she met him secretly at the creek 
an hour before the ceremony
It sounds like an action plan. Aqua picks up her bouquet of orange roses and bluestars from her vanity table, heading out the door.
Aqua
I want Ven there
Terra
Definitely
I love you
Aqua
I love you too
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Terra finds Ven in the dining room, taking inventory of an indulgement of sweets and a feast of meats, fritters, and rice. The wedding cake is as tall as his body, a dark blue with smacks of gold glitter in the shapes of galaxies, large stars framing each layer, and topped with two halos. Ven is mostly dressed in his vest and tie, the suit missing. By comparison, Terra is overdressed, a groom ready for his encore.
Ven sighs when he sneaks a cookie the shape of the Keyblade Master symbol into his mouth, as though Terra’s presence reminds him of disappointment. 
“I couldn’t tame the cicadas,” he says morosely, like he’s apologizing, and for a moment Terra second-guesses what he’s about to do. Ven eyes the white rope curled around Terra’s shoulder. “What’s that for?”
“This may either cheer you up or piss you off,” Terra says, dropping The Way on the counter.
“I don’t like how you said that.” As Ven flips through pages, he frowns, chewing on the side of his lip. “Are you... not happy with the wedding preparations?”
Terra inhales, caught off guard. “Of course I am. Happy, I mean. It’s… huge. It’s a giant ordeal.”
“And you don’t like that,” Ven says quietly, stroking one of the pages with his thumb.
“I think there are things we’ve always wanted to have privately.” Terra sits on a stool, but Ven won’t look him in the eye. “And we want you to be there. We can do it now. We’ll be back in time for our guests.”
The booklet shakes in his hands. “I messed up.”
“From my point of view, I’ll be eating very well tonight. There’s nothing to compensate for.”
Ven closes the book. “I just wanted to do a good job.”
“If you allow Lea to slap you, he’ll forgive you.” Terra smiles, but Ven doesn’t join him. “We’re still doing your grand ceremony—that, we could never pull off on our own. But we also want something tiny and ours, and we won’t do this without you.” Terra takes Ven’s hand and squeezes it, before glancing at the cake. “I hope it’s delicious.”
“It’s disgusting so you’ll definitely like it.”
“See, I can always count on you.” Terra stands up. “Now come on. You wouldn’t want us to be late for the bride.”
Terra takes him to the creek, not far from where Aqua hosted her bachelorette camp, where the sound of rushing water is gentle and the creek splits into two directions, one that would drip off the side of a cliff and one that would join a massive river downstream. The trees huddle close in the clearing, a soft shadow from the fierceness of the setting sun, like a pocket of protective magic in the middle of the forest. 
Ven gasps. “You stole my flowers.”
“Please, you didn’t even notice.” Terra had built an easy wooden arbor before the crack of dawn that morning, an arch weaved with orange and blue flowers, spotted every so often with green lilies. He showered right after so no one would suspect.
“Let’s take it over there.” Ven points to a short boulder against a tree nearby, a good photo op. They pluck the arbor up from both sides and plant it in front of the boulder. Ven takes stock of the sight. “Not bad.”
“Thanks!”
“I take credit for the choice of flowers.” Ven rolls the rope into a tight circle, layering it on the boulder with each loop in equal circumference. He splays the book open and studies. “It’s kinda creepy,” he says though he gets no response and he doesn’t ask for one.
Terra shoves his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo and waits. Aqua isn’t here yet. The vest constricts his breathing, the thicket suddenly feels humid, and Terra wipes his cheek, realizing that his heart is beating fast. Time sped up to this moment and dropped him here without warning. Now it’s slowing down out of pure, unjustifiable spite to torture him in the final hour. 
“You okay, dude?” Ven asks.
Terra lifts his face to the sky to keep the tears in his eyes. “If I cry now, I think I’ll cry for the rest of the night.”
Ven snorts. “No one would be surprised, trust me.”
But it’s not working. He’s two seconds from sobbing. “I don’t know. I…” He scoffs. “I can’t believe it’s happening. I’m expecting her to never show up or brush me off last minute when she realizes what we’re doing—”
“No.” Ven approaches Terra like he’s about to punch him in the stomach to make a point. “Don’t think like that, she’d never do that.” 
Ven has good faith and better timing. Aqua approaches the other side of the clearing, the fabric of her dress gracefully making waves with every step, the foliage fluttering light and shadow on her figure. She holds her bouquet in one hand and a framed photograph tucked under the other.
It shocks Terra.
He can’t stop the flow of tears. He covers his shivering lips and the drip of his nose, his face twisting from the sight of her—brilliant, like she’s made of stars, a gift walking the earth.
“Terra, are you okay?” Aqua asks, rushing to him now, the train of her dress bouncing behind her. 
In the flash of an instinct, Terra runs to meet her, tripping over a branch and landing right into her arms. 
“You’re—” Terra sucks air in, his heart shoving itself up his esophagus. “Y-you’re s-so beautiful.”
Aqua uses her pinky to wipe his tears. “So are you.”
“Let me help you.” He takes the frame—a portrait of the Master, bordered with a white ribbon—and walks her to the arbor. Ven takes the portrait and places it on the boulder, their little family tied together, fractured in glued pieces, now and always. Before they start, Terra asks Aqua to pose under the arbor so he can take a picture of the trees and the flowers surrounding her. Beautiful.
“How do we do this?” Terra asks when he finds his voice again, still trembling. Aqua stands to the side to take her place. She’s beautiful.
Ven takes the book in his hands. The description of this ritual covers at most two pages. “Well, it’s archaic. It’s from the Age of Fairytales but it sounds like we will intertwine your hearts—but in an intense way, like we’re sewing them together.”
Aqua holds her bouquet to her chest. “Shall we start?”
Terra chuckles too hard, gasping for breath. “Simple as that.”
They wait for Ven’s cue, who also has no idea how to do anything. Ven clears his throat, shrugs his shoulders, and reads:
“We witness today the soldering of two hearts. To intertwine like the roots of a tree, the severance painful, the nourishment plentiful. A physical bond, a magical one, the merging of two sprites under the guidance of one truth. Two hearts, but one.” Terra watches the way Aqua watches him. There’s no one else in the world, Ven’s voice disconnected, like it floats on air. “Now it says to summon your Keyblades. Dig the tips into the ground, and offer your hilts to each other.”
Ends of the Earth is massive, taller than Ven. Stormfall looks delicate but it’s menacing, sharp, direct. They offer their hilts, the shafts crossed over each other, Stormfall light and airy in his hand, Ends of the Earth weighty and thick in hers. 
Terra finds it interesting that they’re using the hilt to connect each other’s hearts—the Keyblade should never be used against a person’s heart in traditional Mastery, because it’s such a dangerous weapon and it’s so violating. The blunt hilt, on the other hand, the physical manifestation of their hearts, is like exposure, an offer of vulnerability. 
Aqua’s feels like it’s thrumming, singing. She’s happy.
Ven steps forward with the rope and ties it over the hilts in loops. “This is just an image, the ties that bind, two Keyblades, but one. To intertwine a heart is to forge a chain, a friend, a companion, a memory. If missing then a void, a dream, a wish until reunion.” He steps back into position. “Before we go on, I think this would be a nice place to say your vows. Terra, you first.”
Terra stammers, looking into her eyes. “I-I couldn’t write one. I’m sorry.” 
“It’s okay,” Ven whispers, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I wrote some just in case.”
Terra doesn’t take it. He licks his lips. “It wouldn’t have been graceful. None of it—all of my thoughts—pale in comparison to you, Aqua.” He steadies himself with labored breathing, the squeeze on her Keyblade like a hold on her waist. “You’re so, so beautiful, and I’ve spent my days believing I don’t deserve you, because… because I couldn’t make things right like I should have.” 
Aqua quivers, gently touching his arm with her free hand and motioning for him to breathe. 
He continues, “I’m sorry. I wish the Master was here. I wish I was smart enough to prevent it from happening.” He inhales, choking up from the mention of Eraqus. “I never thought you would marry me of all people, so… I promise... I will be there every step of the way. I promise you, if you’re scared at night, I’ll be there to protect you. If you’re hurting in another world, I’ll come find you. If you’re confused, I’ll hold you close and help you make sense of it. I’ll brew you tea to help you sleep, I’ll step in the line of fire even if you wish to do the same for me, I’ll walk to the ends of the earth to make sure you are safe and healthy. I promise I’ll be with you.
“And I’ll mess up. I know me. I’ll fix it. If you want to clobber me, I’ll be patient. I’ll learn. I’ll do better. Every day you save me from myself. This is the least I can do. I’ve loved you since I was a kid. I’ll love you every day.”
Silence falls on all of them, Terra sniffing just to get some fresh air, Ven wiping his eyes, Aqua blinking too much. 
“Now you, Aqua,” Ven says. 
Despite being teared up, Aqua holds it together. She’s so good at that.
“Terra, I stand with you because I do want to be here. I do want to be by your side. I do want to laugh at your bad jokes.” She relieves a giggle. “I love you. I have for as long as I can remember, even if I didn’t know the words for it.” She studies his face. “I’m sure the Master is here with us, and he couldn’t be prouder of you. I’m proud of you.” Suddenly, she switches her tone, as if to lecture. “And if you even fathom taking a hit for me, remember that I’m faster than you. I’ll protect you first.” Then she softens. “I promise to be your shelter when the storm falls on us. I promise to sit on your bedside when you’re sick, to lift you up when you’re down about yourself, because you are sometimes. 
“You are my home, no matter how far your heart is from me. If you need a star to light your way back, I’ll give it to you.” She smiles widely, like she’s about to laugh. “If something between us breaks, I’ll mend it with you. I can’t imagine my life any other way.”
Their words are now spoken. Aqua suppresses a laugh and grins like a child. Terra holds his breath, just in case he screams from every emotion that he can’t name.  
“Well,” Ven says, rolling his sleeve up so he could wipe his nose on his forearm. “I guess it’s time. This bond is an oath you will remember each other until you close your eyes for the last time, for the tragedy to forget is to be alone forever. Do you accept this?”
“I do,” Terra says.
Aqua hums. “Yes, I do.”
Ven smiles. “You know what to do.”
With his free hand, Terra presses two fingers to his chest, over his heart, where he builds a golden glow. Twenty years living with her, ten years in darkness thinking about her, this vow is impossible to break—even if they can’t do this any longer, Terra could never forget her. Never. In his hand is now a piece of himself, a nugget of his heart, a memory of her in his bed that he never wants to lose.
He takes those fingers to her chest, two thick golden threads drawn out from his heart. She winces at the touch, quick to dissolve. Stormfall shifts in his hand, growing longer, its hilt thicker and darker, wrapping around like a weaved shield. A subtle change, a little piece of him.
Aqua does the same, fingers to her chest first to create the threads, bringing them to his chest. It does hurt, like a needle digging into his skin, sharp for the entire length until it’s suddenly gone. 
He feels full, as though his insides are creating space for something extra. Warm, frightening, whole, exciting. Her piece is a memory he can’t read but he doesn’t need to. Ends of the Earth opens way for an icy blade to cut through the middle as the hilt fans out like wings. A piece of her to take with him where he goes.
“Alright,” Ven chirps, snapping the booklet closed. “The book ends with the quote, Two hearts, only one, but I think this means I can call you husband and wife in secret. So kiss.”
Their Keyblades dissipate when they hold each other, tender but with appetite, unaware of their surroundings for several selfish moments. With sewn threads, it’s as though he breathes through her. Terra presses her onto him, feeling how her heart now beats in sync with his.
“I love you,” she whispers. They are married. 
He’ll never tire of hearing it. Stars, they are married. “I love you, too.”
Terra hears Ven sniff before a handkerchief is shoved into his face. “You need your face dry and clean before everyone sees you,” Ven says. 
The sunset now is deep, a fiery orange. Terra doesn’t want to let go.
“I’ll hold you again tonight,” Aqua says, patting his chest. “I want to see the meteor shower Ven promised.”
“It’ll be a good one,” Ven assures.
Terra kisses her. “Then we have to make a run for it.” He picks Ven up like a log, jogging through the thicket of the forest with Aqua close behind him, the Master in her arms. When they approach the castle, in the twilight, they hear chatter coming from the halls, as though ghosts are partying outside. 
Terra feels at peace despite that he now has to perform, balancing on a tightrope where he doesn’t care if he falls. He turns around and holds her neck to kiss her again, feeling her laughter in his mouth. “One more?” he asks when they break. 
Ven, still tucked in Terra’s arm, groans. “I never asked for a front seat to the kissing show. Is this my punishment?”
Aqua kisses him one more time, whispering to him I love you for what will be a string of I love you’s in the night to come. Friends will cheer, Terra will trip on the way to the altar, Sora will cry because Terra will cry, Xion will eat too much cake and get sick, Isa will laugh because he is drunk, Kairi will be the star of the dance, Aqua will be the star in his eyes. 
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writtenonreceipts · 4 years ago
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Feysand and - I hate this holiday wake me up when the candy goes on sale AU
<3
AN: Thanks for the prompt!  I had fun with this.  I hope you guys enjoy ACOSF, unfortunately I won’t be able to get my hands on it for a while, so I may end up just blocking anything related to this particular series...but I will always be writing.  I also unfortunatly didn’t save a document properly and lost an update I wanted to post.  Ugh.  Not a major one just a simple part two to a Feysand....anyways it’ll come out eventually....
Valentine
Feyre let out a long and exasperated groan as she shoved the door to her apartment open.  It had been a long and miserable day at the restaurant full of couples on dates full of love in their eyes and wasting money on things they didn’t need.
She was more than ready for spending the rest of this hellish day alone.  Elain was spending the weekend away with Lucien and Nesta had a secret boyfriend that she denied existed.
Just as Feyre opened the door, however, she was greeted by a strange sight.  Rhysand was seated on her couch with the TV on and a bowl of chips in his lap.  He glanced over at her shamelessly.
“Whatcha doing?” She asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.
“Cassian forgot to pay the cable bill again,” Rhys explained as he gestured to the TV, “and there’s an NCIS marathon on.”
Feyre rolled her eyes and tossed her purse on the dining room table.  She went to her fridge and grabbed a Diet Coke for herself and Rhys.
As she walked over to the couch, she kicked off her shoes haphazardly, not caring where they ended up.  All she really was to relax for the rest of the night.  And Rhysand, being one of her closest friends, was welcome company.  Even if he did eat all her chips.
“How was your day?” he asked as she settled beside him.
Feyre grunted in reply and handed him a soda.  
He flashed her one of his signature heart stopping grins. “That good, huh?”
Perhaps it was her own fault that she’d developed feelings for him.  After all she’d spent too long in a miserable relationship only to get out of it to have Rhysad dating a red-headed knock-out.  The kind of woman that hit all of Feyre’s insecurities.  She’d never known what had unraveled that relationship, but she knew she and Rhys would never have a chance together.  Not really.
“After interrupting five table in a row from makeout sessions,” she said, “yeah it was that great.”
Being a waitress wasn’t something that she wanted.  But it was the only job she could nab right now.  No matter how hard she tried.
Feyre took a long sip from the soda.  Why the hell was there no alcohol in this apartment?
Rhysand chuckled at a joke made on the TV.
Oh, right.  He and Cassian lived right across the hall and were just about always over here.
The phone rang on the small table beside the couch, but Feyre let it go to voicemail.  For some reason, Nesta insisted they own a domestic run of the mill phone straight out of a 90’s sit com.
Feyre cringed as Ianthe’s perky voice sang out from the speaker.
“Hey girl!  I hope you’re doing good.  Just thought I’d check it.  You’re not spending today alone are you?  Come over, we’re having a game night!  Bye!”
Feyre snorted as the message ended.  Ianthe rarely ever called.  And when she did it was to rub something in Feyre’s face.  Game night was code for couple’s night.  Checking in was to make sure Feyre was still single.  Same as ever.
Out of the corner of her eye, Feyre noticed Rhysand’s cursory glance, but she ignored it.  Instead she threw her feet into his lap and laid down on the couch.
“I hate this holiday,” she said with a yawn, “wake me up when the candy goes on sale.”
Rhy’s chuckled and gave her leg a pat. “Whatever you say.”
She let herself get lost in the sounds of the TV and Rhysand’s familiar presence.  It wasn’t long before she drifted off to sleep.
#
Sometime later, Feyre woke with a start.  
Dawn was slowly bleeding into the apartment and normally Feyre would have been worried, until she remembered that she only had night shifts for the week.  Still, she was dazed at what had happened and why she was asleep on the couch.  As the night slowly came back to her, Feyre cursed and grabbed the blanket wrapped around her.
That had her sitting up.  It was the soft fleece blanket Rhysand had gifted her a few weeks ago during a cold snap and she and her sisters had been too broke to pay for more heating.  Instead they’d suffered the week in misery.  But Rhysand had made sure she’d gotten this blanket.
Tucking it around her, Feyre found a giant pile of candy sitting on the coffee table in front of the TV.  Reaching out, Feyre snagged a note hastily left there.
Had to go to work, didn’t want to wake you.  Here’s that chocolate you wanted. R
Feyre found herself grinning and clutched the note to her chest.  It was simple and stupid and even a bit fanciful.  And here she was letting her mind stray where it shouldn’t.  Where it couldn’t.  
But maybe just for now, she would let it.
#
let me know if I put you on the wrong tag list/want to be removed.  it’s generally going to be easier for me to just have basic acotar/tog lists and not go into too much worry about that, so just and fyi...anywho
tags:  tottenhamboys20  aelinchocolatelover @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx  @bamchickawowow @ladywitchling @ireallyshouldsleeprn @courtofjurdan @sassys-world @sleeping-and-books @superspiritfestival @chieflemming @julemmaes @lysandra-ghost-leopard @harrymoncheri @firestarsandseneschals @emikadreams​  @rapunzel1523 @booksofthemoon  @highladysith​ @fangirlprincess09
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icerosecrystal · 4 years ago
Text
Daminette - All The Kings’ Horses
Warning: This one-shot includes abuse, harassment, rape, child neglect meant, suicidal thoughts, and cursing. Read at your own risk!
Lila had done it. She had taken away all her friends. She no longer had any support from her parents either. Only her Grandma Gina, Grandpa Roland, Uncle Cheng, Jagged, Penny, and Clara loved or cared for her. But they had their own life to fulfill. They didn’t have the time to take care of a little nobody. But, what hurt Marinette the most was her parents’ betrayal. They knew and raised her for 16 years. Then, someone they had never met told them some petty lies and instead of believing their daughter, they believed a stranger.
I knock the ice from my bones Try not to feel the cold
She felt so numb. Now at the age of 17 almost 18, Lila had taken away her classmates 4 years ago, took away even her closest childhood friends 3 years ago, and had finally taken away her parents 2 years ago. She had no one left. She had no will to live. Yet, she endured it. Why? She doesn’t know herself. She prevailed through the words that were slamming around in her head, spoken by her classmates, “Bully, dumb, slut, attention-seeker, bitch, a fucking nobody.” She bore her parents’ words, “I can’t believe we gave birth to you, we should have given you away when you were a kid, what did we deserve you, you are such a bitchy, fucking daughter.” She ignored the beatings, the abuse she survived every day. At first, it started with her classmates taking away her things and destroying them. Then, it was kicking, punching, slapping, tripping. It finally escalated to stabbings and shootings. 9 months ago her parents started abusing her as well as purposefully neglecting her. The final thread snapped when they got Adrien to come and rape her as a way to set her straight.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
That’s when she decided to leave, run away. Her being raped was the final straw. She was suffering for no reason. Hawkmoth and Mayura had been defeated, there was nothing left for her in Paris anyways. She was close to breaking. She needed to get away from Paris before she decided to end her misery once and for all. There was no one coming to save her, she might as well save herself. So, she made a plan with the kwamis. She found a city where she could easily disappear in, she chose Gotham. She got in contact with Jagged and asked him to enroll her in Gotham Academy without telling her parents. Using her commission money from MDC and Netti, she got an apartment in Gotham. Glancing at the date, she realized that her parents wouldn’t be letting her out of her room for another week. So, she took that week to transport all of her belongings to her new apartment using the horse miraculous. On the day of, she looked around the room, reminiscing in the good memories that she had of the room and said a final goodbye, shutting the portal from her room and her old life.
Run with my hands on my eyes
Blind, but I’m still alive
She had made it. She had let go of the past and was walking into the future… well mostly. After her experiences in her old class, Marinette became a lot more hostile and guarded. She never talked in class, never brought attention to herself, and never displayed any emotions. People categorized her with another boy. Damian if she remembered correctly. He seemed to be as guarded as she was. But, instead, it developed a mutual respect for each other. Sure, Damian was still cautious of her, but during class and lunch, they would sit together in the back or in a little corner and would relish in the silence. Neither made an effort to get to know the other and they both appreciated it.
Free to go back on my own
Is it still a home
When you’re all alone?
Everything was okay for Marinette until the partner project her teacher assigned her. Thankfully, it was Damian, but she had to go to his house. She was awed by the sight of the manor and told him so, he just smiled lightly, in fact, it couldn’t be called a smile and walked in with her. None of the other family members were present at the moment except for Alfred Pennyworth the butler. She quietly introduced herself and Damian then dragged her upstairs to his room. Once the completed the project, it was dinner time and all the other family members had arrived. They insisted that she join them for dinner, not wanting to seem rude she agreed. They tried to get to know Marinette as much as possible. She answered all of their questions, but anyone could see how reserved she was. Then Jason asked a question that set her off, “Before you moved to Gotham where was your home?” She looked to be having a panic attack before saying, “Paris” and then muttering, “It is still home if you’re all alone?” This made all of the Waynes suspicious and concerned. They left the topic alone and continued on with their dinner, since that day Marinette and the Waynes started getting closer. They were all like her brother and Bruce like her father, except for Damian. She liked Damian, but didn’t want to in fear of having a repeat of Adrien, she vowed to never tell Damian. She lived by that vow until she got some news.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Marinette was scrolling through her Instagram when her eye caught the name Alya Cesaire, she looked at the post and started hyperventilating. They were coming to Gotham in a month, they were going to see her, her parents were the chaperones. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she climbed onto her motorcycle and rode to Wayne Manor. She reached the Manor and threw off her helmet ringing the doorbell. When Alfred answered she started screaming, sobbing for Damian, “ALFRED, I NEED DAMIAN, I NEED HIM, PLEASE ALFRED BRING ME TO HIM!” hysteria clear in her voice. She needed him, she needed him to console her. Alfred quickly carried her inside once she collapsed from begging. He brought her to the family room where everyone was present. Marinette could discern all the eyes on her, but none of them counted except for the emerald eyes that softened once they examined at her. She clambered into his lap and continued sobbing and blabbering incoherent gibberish.
After about an hour once she quieted down she noticed the questioning, calculating, and compassionate eyes around her. She acknowledged that she wasn’t going to get out of an explanation and so sighed and told her story. What happened once Lila arrived, how everyone she knew reacted, and what prompted her to come to Gotham. By the end of her explanation, everyone was shaking with apparent fury. Jason then shouted, “I’M GOING TO KILL THAT FUCKING BITCH, YOUR PARENTS, AND THAT GUY WHO RAPED YOU! HOW DARE THEY TOUCH MY LITTLE SISTER!?” Everyone agreed, getting everything ready to plan a murderer and get away with it. Damian saw the anguish in Marinette’s eyes and told everyone to calm down, taking Marinette to his room. On the way, they heard a shout, “REMEMBER TO LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN!” They both flushed, Marinette ducking her head down.
Once they reached his room they sat down on the bed, Marinette avoiding his gaze. “Hey look at me”, he softly said. She looked up at him. “Why did you ask for me, why not Todd or Grayson?”
She blushed and looked at him. “I-I kinda have a crush on you a-and y-y-you don’t have to like me, I think I’m unlikable, w-wait no that’s not what I meant mmph”, her rambling was cut short by Damian pressing his lips to her incredibly soft ones. She melted into the kiss and deepened it, both of them moving their lips in sync. The kiss wasn’t hot or heavy, it was slow, loving, but also semi-passionate. It didn’t feel like fireworks, rather like a warm, homey fire along with a comforting spark. She moved her hands to his hair and tugged and he grabbed her waist pulling her even closer. They pulled away and stared into each other’s eyes, enjoying the moment.
He cleared his throat and stammered out, “Would you be willing to join me on a date?” She smiled and pecked his lips, “Yeah.” Three dates later and they were officially dating.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
It was the day of the arrival of Marinette’s old class and she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t nervous. She wouldn’t be giving them any tours, thank god, but they would be going to Gotham Academy which meant that she would be seeing them. Just as expected later that week, they caught sight of her in Gotham Academy. The first thing they all did… they bullied her. Worse than ever before, asking why she left, she was their favorite little plaything after all. She tried her best to ignore it, but it was becoming all too much.
She rushed out of the classroom with Damian chasing behind her. She was having a panic attack, the weight of seeing everyone along with the memories was too much for her. She rushed to a bridge that she could jump off of to end her misery, but Damian caught her by the waist. He hugged her and mumbled reassurances into her hair. After a little bit, she calmed and saw Damian watching her, “Marinette, I love you and you have to stay on this Earth, please. Don’t listen to them. You are having a concert as Netti later tonight, sing your newest song, and reveal yourself. Tell your side of the story. I will be by your side every step of the way.” He gave her a tender smile and pulled her into a kiss that had Marinette forget all of her worries for now. Later that night as Netti, she got on the stage and started singing her newest song, All the Kings’ Horses.
(Play this song if you want to follow along with the lyrics)
I knock the ice from my bones
Try not to feel the cold
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
Run with my hands on my eyes
Blind, but I’m still alive
Free to go back on my own
Is it still a home
When you’re all alone?
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put me back together again
Oh, oh
Couldn’t put me back together again
Oh, oh
Couldn’t put me back together again
She poured all of her emotions into the lyrics. It described her life perfectly and she sang it with all the despair and hurt she felt every single day when she was in Paris. This wasn’t just a song, no, this was the cry of a broken girl, who was slowly healing, a girl who couldn’t be put back together again, but she could try. By the last note, she pulled off her mask and heard the gasps of her classmates and parents, she saw tears in everyone’s eyes, disappointment in Adrien’s eyes, jealousy in Lila’s eyes, but most importantly the pride in Damian’s eyes.
She brought her mike back up and told her story, “This song was inspired by my own experiences. I had a great life, but then a girl came and took away everything that was mine and made me lonely in my own home. No one believed me, so I came to Gotham. I met my boyfriend Damian Wayne, he’s helping me heal little by little every day. I may not be able to be put back together again completely, but I’m going to try and Damian will be there to help me every step of the way. Thank you and good night, Gotham!”
Oh, oh
Couldn’t put me back together again
Oh, oh
Couldn’t put me back together again
After the reveal, everyone tried to be her friend again, her parents tried to apologize to her. She didn’t forgive anyone of them. They had to own up to their mistakes and see the consequences of believing a stranger over her. Two years after the reveal Damian proposed and they were married a year later, her Grandpa Roland and Bruce walked her down the aisle. Jon Kent was Damian’s best man and Dick, Tim, and Jason were groomsmen/ bridesmaids. Marinette and Damian said their vows. And as they kissed as husband and wife the one thing that crossed Marinette’s mind was that even though all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men couldn’t put her back together again, her King Damian Wayne most certainly could.
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cuddlepilefics · 4 years ago
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Can we just go home?
Fandom: Stray Kids
Sickie: Jisung
Caregiver: 2racha + Felix
 Jisung’s POV.:
I was just brushing my teeth, when I suddenly felt really sick. Quickly dropping my toothbrush, I gripped the sink and gagged harshly over it but nothing came up. My stomach was in knots and my mouth watered. I decided my teeth were clean enough, put the toothbrush away and rinsed my mouth. Along with the nausea, a dull pain settled around my navel. Thinking I probably just had to go, I sat on the toilet for a while but nothing would happen. I realized that I had occupied the bathroom for quite a while now, so I quickly finished up and walked to my room, so the others could get ready for the day. We’d first have dance practice and then a fansign afterwards, so I put on loose sweatpants, hoping to minimize the pressure around my middle. The pain wasn’t too bad but the nausea certainly was a nuisance. It’s not like I wasn’t used to it though, my anxiety often times messing with my stomach. Today was different though, I could tell. I hung out on my bed with the trash can pulled close just in case, while waiting for my friends, so we could head out. Way too soon, Chan called us to leave and I sighed following them to practice. I certainly didn’t feel like dancing right now but I really needed to improve, besides I didn’t want to speak up because they would probably be annoyed at me for always complaining. Sure, anxiety wasn’t fun but I felt like I complained way too much when my stomach bothered me from stress, so I wanted it to be different today.
Practice went well, despite the ache in my abdomen. At this point, I was sure I’d throw up eventually but nothing had happened so far. I had mapped out my emergency plan, visualized the route to the closest bathroom down the hallway and memorized the location of the room’s trashcan, in case I wouldn’t be able to make it. With the pain grew the anxiety, or was it the other way around? My gut told me that something wasn’t right but I pushed the feeling back down, it was probably just nerves due to the fansign later. “Jisung-ah, you need to focus, you’re constantly missing the beat”, Chan startled me from my thoughts. I sighed and got back to my starting position, preparing for another run through: “Sorry hyung, I’ll do better.” Giving it my all, I managed to stay on beat the next time, although my head was spinning afterwards and all the jumping around had turned the dull pain in my stomach into a sharp stabbing. Apparently, Chan and Minho were finally satisfied with our dancing and told us to go wash up before we’d be picked up to go to the fansign event. I suppressed a wince when another cramp twisted my intestines and hid my face by pretending to wipe away the sweat. Walking had started to become a bit difficult, so I was lagging behind a bit. Felix slowed down a bit to let me catch up before starting to ramble about how excited he was to meet Stay again. I gave him a tired smile, though I wasn’t entirely sure it really reached my eyes. The Aussie trailed off mid-sentence and frowned at me: “Are you ok? Nervous?” – “Kinda”, I admitted, glancing at the ground. “Does your stomach hurt again?”, he asked, pointing at the arm I had subconsciously wrapped around my middle. ‘Damn, I really am awesome at hiding stuff. Why do they always have to notice how weak I am?’ I nodded ashamed, still avoiding his eyes: “Sorry, I know I’m to much of a baby. I don’t want to hold y’all back.” – “Hey, you’re not a baby. I’ll make you some tea while you shower, yeah? You’ll be fine”, my dongsaeng promised and I gave him a grateful smile.
Felix really kept his promise and as soon as we were back at the dorm, he set about making a cup of chamomile tea while I went to the bathroom. My shower turned out rather short, since I spent more time on the toilet, still hoping the pain would get better once I go. The nausea was ever-present at the back of my throat but I couldn’t throw up. Quickly drying off, I met Felix in my room. He had placed my favorite cup onto my desk before leaving to take a shower himself. I thanked him quietly and he hugged me on his way out. Changing into my outfit for the fansign, I let the tea cool down and searched my drawers for some anti-emetics because if there was something I did not want to happen, it was throwing up in front of a crowd of people. I used the warm tea to rinse down the pill and settled back on my bed till we’d have to leave. Scrolling through my phone, I slowly sipped the tea and waited for either the tea or the medicine to sooth my upset stomach. The pain had shifted from where it had lingered around my navel. I felt like there was a knife stuck in my lower right side. Still dwelling on my misery, I was startled by a knock on my door. “Yeah?” In walked Chan, taking a seat next to me. “Hey, you ok? Lix told me you weren’t feeling your best”, the leader asked, “is it nerves?” I shrugged, slightly annoyed at myself for not being able to keep my problems to myself: “Probably, Lixxie made me some tea, it’ll be fine.” It was a lie but I didn’t want to worry my leader by saying it felt wrong, really wrong. “Alright, don’t you want to sit with us in the living room? Maybe we can distract you a bit”, my hyung offered and I let him walk me to the living room. For a while, I sat between Changbin and Hyunjin, smiling along with their bickering but trying to avoid laughing, as it hurt to bad.
When we got settled in the car that would take us to the venue, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out to find a text from Felix.
Koala J
Hey, do you feel better now?
Squirrel
Yeah, thanks again, the tea really helped
And thanks for not asking out loud
Not everyone needs to know how annoyingly weak I am
Koala J
There is no weakness in it
But it’s ok not to want everyone’s eyes on you the entire time
As long as you at least talk to one of us
 I put my phone away and made eye-contact with the younger. We exchanged a quick smile before the Aussie turned to annoy Seungmin. I was glad he believed me because I was a really bad liar, texting made it easier for me though. The pain had only increased and I turned to look out the window, so the others wouldn’t be able to see the grimace on my face. A soft whimper escaped my lips, causing Hyunjin to eye me worriedly. I pretended to be confused as to why he was looking at me till he seemed confused himself whether he had actually heard anything. We neared our destination way too soon and I dreaded having to get up, or move at all for that matter. I highly doubted I’d be able to walk but forced myself out of my seat and onto shaky legs. Aware of the cameras around, I tried to cover up the limp I had developed over the last few hours. I just couldn’t pull my right leg forward. Once again, I was lagging behind, when I was suddenly lifted from my feet. Gritting my teeth, as the movement tore at my side, I turned to look at who had scooped me up. It was Changbin, who pretended to be fooling around with me but for a short moment he leaned closer to my ear whispering: “I know you’re not fine. Just pretend we’re having fun and that you could walk by yourself, which I know you can’t.” – “Yah! Put me down hyung!”, I yelled, flailing my arms around while trying to keep my middle as still as possible. The older laughed at me and carried me to our dressing room out of the public’s sight.
Changbin’s smile immediately faltered, as soon as we were alone. He gently lowered me onto the couch in the dressing room and crouched down on eye-level. “What’s going on Sungie?”, he hummed as I curled up hugging my stomach. Soon Chan and Felix had gathered around me too, the younger scrunching up his nose: “Hyung, you told me you felt better.” The leader clicked his tongue, obviously disappointed though I couldn’t tell whether he was mad at me for lying or for holding them back again. “I’m sorry. It’s just a stomachache and I already took some medicine before we left, plus, Felix made me tea. It’ll go away soon”, I admitted guiltily. My hyungs exchanged a look before Changbin tucked my hair behind my ears: “Are you sure you can do this? It has to hurt really bad for you to take medicine.” I nodded, freezing when there was a hand on my forehead. “Chan-hyung, he does feel a bit warm to me. It’s unlikely to be nerves”, the rapper stated, ignoring my complaints. Chan sighed: “You really want to do this, Sung?”, I nodded, “Alright but tell us if it gets too bad or you need to leave.” I agreed before getting my makeup done and heading out with everyone else to take my seat at the long table.
Putting on my best acting skills, I smiled and joked with fans while one hand was constantly pressed into my side, hidden by the table. Sure, there were a few people who noticed something was off but lying came easier now. I simply told them we had had a bet, Minho telling me I wouldn’t be able to eat an entire cheesecake and I tried to prove him wrong. It was easily believed and often earned a laugh from the person in front of me.
The fansign seemed to drag on endlessly and I didn’t even notice the space getting empty till Chan stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders, telling me we were done. I didn’t even bother removing my makeup. “Hey, do you need anything?”, Changbin appeared next to me. I shook my head, not able to keep up my smile: “Can we just go home?” He agreed and took me to the waiting car, where we waited for the others to join us. My hyung rubbed my back soothingly, as I hunched over in my seat, whimpering. The others soon got into the car, watching me worriedly. I kept squirming in my seat, unable to find a position that would make the pain more bearable. Felix and Changbin were on either side of me, trying to calm me down but I struggled to focus on their voices while the knife in my side kept twisting. When we arrived at the dorm, Changbin carried me to my room, so I could curl up on my bed. He promised he’d be back with a heating pad soon and left me alone. That’s when the urge to throw up returned with full vengeance. Fearing to make a mess, I tried to get up and go to the bathroom or at least get to the trash can but collapsed right next to my bed, crying out in pain.
Alerted by my loud cry, Chan walked in just in time to pull my hair out of my face, while I retched up the tiny amount of food I had forced myself to eat that day. Felix soon appeared behind him, looking terrified. I didn’t even bother assuring him I was fine because if there was something I was not, it was fine. The older Aussie carefully propped me up a bit more, as I retched between my sobs. I was in my own world, screaming from pain, barely realizing how Chan called a driver. Without any warning, I was lifted into the air again and Chan carried me downstairs to the waiting car. Changbin and Felix followed, explaining that they were taking me to the hospital. “Jisung, can you show us exactly where it hurts?”, the leader pleaded and I pressed my hand into my lower right side, unable to reply verbally. Changbin remembered, anxiously playing with his sleeve: “I think it’s his appendix. One of my schoolfriends had appendicitis once and it looks really similar to me.”
I kept crying into Chan’s shoulder while he carried me into the ER. Changbin had rushed in first to sign me in while Felix stayed close to Chan and me. We were immediately guided to an examination room where we were told the doctor would be there shortly. Laying me down on the examination table, Chan and Felix stood on either side of my, holding my hands as I withered in pain. Changbin rushed in after finishing up with the paperwork and all of a sudden, the pain was gone. I loosened my grip on my friends’ hands, blinking in confusion before sitting up. “Wow, I feel fine suddenly”, I hummed uncertainly, “Sorry for making you worry.” The trio looked at me in disbelieve, the leader being the first to find his words: “So you’re telling me one second you’re unable to either move or talk and then by some form of miracle healing nothing’s wrong anymore?” I cringed lightly at the way he put it, averting his eyes when I answered: “I don’t understand it either but can we just go home?”
Right then the doctor came in and I apologized for wasting his time, explaining what symptoms I had had and how we had thought I had appendicitis. I gave him a smile, promising I felt fine now, when I noticed the doctor had paled halfway through our conversation. “Most patients with appendicitis feel relieve when the inflamed organ ruptures and the pressure is gone. I’d like too do a quick check up to see what is really going on there. If it is a ruptured appendix, the pain will come back much more severe and the chances of it leading to a fatal infection without treatment is high”, he explained, easing me back on the table. My friends were shocked by the doctor’s words, Felix chewing on his lip while clutching Chan’s arm. Then came the shocking revelation: “Mr. Han, I am afraid your appendix has ruptured, we will have to perform a surgery on that right away.” Before I even came to terms with what was happening, I was saying goodbye to my friends and got wheeled away on a stretcher.
When I came to, I felt floaty experiencing the aftereffects of the anesthetics. My entire group was there, having piled onto each other in the few seats in the hospital room. “Hey, you’re awake” Seungmin exclaimed, rushing over to give me a hug. Felix walked over too but his face was the exact opposite of Seungmin’s: “Yah! How could you scare us like this? You idiot, I thought you were going to die.” I chuckled awkwardly. I got hugs from everyone, not even Felix was able to stay mad at me. We talked for a while, Chan asking if I needed anything. I replied: “Can we just go home?” Sadly, we couldn’t or at least, I couldn’t. They told me I had to stay for at least a day or two. I’d also have to take antibiotics for a while to heal the infection from the appendix rupture but none of it seemed so bad when my friends brought me my favorite hoodie, plushie and headphones, promising they’d take me out for cheesecake the day I’d be discharged.
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91percentpynch · 4 years ago
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false god - kevaaron au pt 5
long time no see because i was in a writing block and that sucks but i‘m back and ready to break our hearts <33 thanks to argyro for helping me figuring out what happens here
i listened to false god by taylor swift cuz the angst??? love it!!! anygays this is from kevin‘s pov, i hope it makes sense and i hope you like it <33 stay safe, drink some water and always remember only racists, trump supporters, transphobes and homophobes skip meals!!
to check out the other parts click here
Aaron wasn‘t gone for too long when Kevin‘s phone rang
He didn‘t have the energy to pick it up, just to stare it down as if some kind of magic or his sheer will power would make it stop, let him be alone with his thoughts
But obviously that didn‘t work, it never did
The phone kept ringing, slowly driving the striker mad, slowly taking his sanity.
It would be the fifth or sixth missed call that would make him get up to answer the phone
„KEVIN HI NICKY HERE, LISTEN I TRIED TO CALL YOU FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR OR SO BUT AARON‘S IN THE HOSPITAL AND I CAN‘T GET THERE UNTIL LIKE TOMORROW AND ANDREW DOESN‘T ANSWER HIS PHONE EITHER AND HE WOULD TAKE LIKE HOURS TO GET THERE AS WELL CAN YOU PLEASE GO TO HIM SO HE DOESN‘T HAVE TO BE ALONE I DON‘T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED PLEASE, KEVIN I NEVER ASKED FOR ANYTHING FROM YOU PLEASE JUST GO AND MAKE SURE MY SON IS OKAY“
„Nicky? Hi to you too. You do realize he isn‘t my responsibility and that he broke up with me and that I don‘t really have to go there. I don‘t own him shit. He made my life miserable. He probably deserves whatever happened to him“ was what Kevin wanted to answer, was probably what he was supposed to say. But deep down he knew it was not true, that Aaron never ruined his life. Made it better, made it it bareable. Made it worth living, not just existing. Made it more than Exy and Vodka.
After a few moments of silence that felt like an enterinity Kevin settled for a simple: „Which hospital?“
„OH DIO MIO GRACIAS, MUCHAS GRACIAS. ESTÁ EN EL CHICAGO HOSPITAL“, Nicky replied in Spanish. Something the Latino only did when he was either very emotional, very drunk, very angry or all at once.
Kevin didn‘t have it in him to tell Nicky that he still did not speak Spanish, he understood the hospital and that was enough. For now.
„I‘m on my way, call you later and Nicky? He‘s going to be fine. It‘s not your fault. You‘re a great mother to them, the best I‘ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Now calm down, go to Erik and take a nap. You don‘t have to come, he‘s with us. We got this. Do you want to talk to Jeremy while I go to check up on Aaron?“
„Sí“, was all Nicky had to say. Voice thick with tears.
„JER CAN YOU TALK TO NICKY AARON‘S IN THE HOSPITAL I‘M GOING THERE“, Kevin shouted into the flat.
„Absoloutly“, Jeremy replied and took the phone from Kevin.
„Mi corazón, escúchame“, was the last thing Kevin heard as it hit him. Aaron was in the hospital. Right after Kevin refused to listen to him, right after Kevin refused to let him explain himself. It was Kevin‘s fault. If Aaron died, he would have killed him. He was basically a murderer. His breathing came out uneven, his lungs didn‘t get enough air. He knew that he needed to breathe, but breathing was hard and he was weak.
Jean noticed Kevin having a panic attack when he came to check up on him. „Day, listen to me. Breathe. In... And out... In.... And out... In... And out“
Kevin‘s breathing got better, slowly but steadily.
„It‘s my fault“, the striker whispered.
„It‘s not, Kevin. It is not your fault. If you don‘t want to go there, you don‘t have to. He is not your responsibility“
„Hypothetically if Jeremy was to break up with you and you‘re hurt and sad and blame him for your misery when it‘s more the lack of him that makes you feel that way and his sister or brother or mother or whoever would call you and hysterically asked you to go look after him cause his family is stuck on another continent and the only other person who could call refuses to take the phone cause they‘re too busy doing their boyfriend, would you not go cause he is not your responsibility anymore? Because Aaron is my Jeremy. Just like Jer saved your life and made you see that live is indeed worth living, Aaron showed me the same“
„I don‘t think I would surive Jeremy leaving me, you‘ve always been stronger than me. Should I give you a ride?“, Jean whispered.
„It‘s not a thing of strenght Jean, it‘s an addiction. It used to be alcohol that made me forget, made me feel light and free and carefree. I drank and drank until I couldn‘t live without it anymore. And then I met Aaron, I tasted him, I smelled him and he chose me. Me? What did I have to offer him? A boy broken and raised by Exy. All I can offer is Exy. Nothing more. Until he made me see that it was wrong, that I am more than that. And he might have broken my heart and yes I might still love him even though he will never feel the same but I cannot not go there. I have to. I have to be there for them, the way he was always there for me“
„Get your things, we‘re going to the hospital“, Jean replied, unable to put his emotions into words.
So Jean and Kevin left for the hospital while Jeremy tried to calm Nicky down with softly whispered Spanish words.
As they arrived at the hospital Kevin stormed in there.
„Aaron Minyard“, was all he was able to say. Too many memories were connected with hospitals. Too many memories he would much rather just forget.
„Name?“, the nurse said in a bored tone.
Kevin just put a finger on his cheek.
„Kevin Day? I can‘t let you to him, only family and spouses“
„What if I sign something, we take a nice selfie and you tell me where he is. You see I‘m basically family. I‘m the closest and the others can‘t be here until at least tomorrow evening and we don‘t want the poor guy to be all alone and confused, do we?“, Kevin said with his press smile and shining eyes. He knew the charme he had on females. It was just not useful for him as he never really was into that. He never was into anyone but Aaron, to be fair.
„I could lose my job for that“, the nurse replied, her eyes wandering from his eyes to his lips and up again.
„I‘m sure I can offer you something that will you let me to go see him“, Kevin replied with a wink, being disgusted by himself that he even thought about all the possiblities this woman could ask him to do with her.
„Room 21, second floor, station E. You clearly care about him, if anyone asks it wasn‘t me“, she smiled at him. „Besides I always liked Moreau more, I‘m sure we can think of something to do while you are with the boy“
„Sorry“, Kevin whispered to Jean as he ran down the aisle trying to figure out where Aaron was.
The hostpital was a mess of busy nurses and angry doctors, but nothing could stop a determinded Kevin Day. No one. Not even Andrew Minyard.
After what felt like forever he made it to the room, kicked the door open and walked with three long strides to Aaron.
„You fucking idiot, what have you done?“, he whisper-shouted, holding back tears while taking in Aaron‘s sorry state.
„I don‘t need your fucking pity“, Aaron replied, exhausted.
„Did you tell them you can‘t have morphine? Because you might relapse, i mean you already did but we don‘t want it to get worse. And this is not pity, this is Nicky yelling at me in Spanish cause you‘re in the hospital and he‘s in Germany and I‘m the closest to you and he does not want his son to be alone“
„Andrew didn‘t care to come, did he?“, Aaron whispered into his pillow.
„Andrew does care about you he‘s just shit at showing it, that fucking asshole“, Kevin replied softly. „C‘mon what have you done Minyard?“
„Car accident, not that it‘s any of your fucking business“
„How are you?“
„Fucking great, I should let a truck drive into me more often. Very freeing. Very calming“, Aaron said sarcastically, avoiding Kevin‘s eyes.
„A truck. Drove into you?“, shock made Kevin‘s Irish accent stronger.
„Not that you would care“, Aaron‘s voice was barely more than a whisper as he turned around, back to Kevin.
„Aaron first of all I can see you naked ass and not that I wouldn‘t mind the view and I‘ve seen it often enough but the nurses don‘t have to see that too. And secondly of course I care. I always did. Always will“
Blushing Aaron turned back towards Kevin.
„Why wouldn‘t you listen to me if you care so much? You‘re exactly like like Andrew, you guys only ever care when I‘m about to die or do something that doesn‘t sit right with you. Never about me as a person. The conecept about me maybe, but me? Me as a person? No one cares about that“
„You are Aaron Minyard. Born on the 4th of November, 8:31:45 am. You grew up in California in the house next to Nicky. Nicky and you were always close and you didn‘t have many friends because of your mom. Your mom might have abused her and I might hate her for that but you still love her and I get that because on some fucked up level I still care about Riko. You are allergic to cats, peanuts and house dust. You have a freckle right on your right hip, under your navel, from under your left eye over to the nose to the corner of your right eye. You like it when you are hold when you can‘t sleep but you hate showing affection in public. You were 13 when you started exy, because it gave you an escape, but you had to stop because the bruises from your mother‘s beating got to obvious. So you started getting into medicine. You borrowed every single book on medicine you could find and read it at night, always hidden from your mom. You had to have straight As or the beatings would be worse. Your mom did go out to have ice cream with you when it was especially bad. That‘s why you hate ice cream so much, especially vanillia because it was her favourite. Your secret hobby is skating. You feel free when you do it. You want to live at the coast, but not close to Cali, never back to Cali. You want Andrew to notice you and you hate how easily he let Neil in because obviously deserve it more and I get that. You tried drugs to escape, to see what was the appeal. Your uncle never helped you but he brainwashed you into believing he did. You grew up very religous and in an extraordinary homophobic household, you watched your cousin and only friend getting shipped away because he was different, not right, so you confinced yourself you were different. Heterosexual. When in reality you knew since you were 15 that you preferred guys. You liked girls as well. At least you thought but it‘s so much more complicated. Actually it isn‘t. You‘re asexual, you do however like the feeling of sex. You think the process is disgusting, but you still like the feeling. It has to be the right person though. It doesn‘t matter wether it‘s a boy or a girl or something else entierly, all that matters are the feelings the person makes you feel. It took you years to accept that you are not wrong, that you wouldn‘t have to go away like Nicky. You apologized to Nicky. You thought you had to be against their relationships, because that‘s what they made you believe. Old habits die hard. But you got over it and I am very proud of you. You sleep with a teddybear or with another person that cuddles you because the thought of being alone scares the living crap out of you. Your favourite flowers are sunflowers because yellow is a happy color. You hate sweets, you prefer salty snacks. You prefer coffee black, like your sould. You use sarcasm and humor as your coping mechanism. You stole my history books because you love history as well. You also love art but you don‘t think you are good enought to become an artist. You would love to work at Jean‘s studio but you are afraid to ask. You and Jean used to be friends but you cut him off and isolated yourself because your anxities and insecurities took over you again. Sometimes you have depressive episodes, in these you crave drugs more than normally. You want to stop it, you really do but somehow your brain tries to tell you you need it. You would love to have five dogs. An Irish Red Setter, an Irish Wolfhound, a poodle a big one though, a labrador and a golden retriever. You also want to adopt at least two kids. You don‘t want any child to go through what you had to go through or Andrew. So don‘t you dare tell me I never cared for you. Because I do. I listen when you tell me things. I remember every single time you came to me, black out drunk, crying and telling me you‘re worthless. Because every single time I wanted to tell you you aren‘t. You are a wonderful human being and I don‘t understand why I wasn‘t enough for you to stay but I will not let you tell me I never cared about you. Because that‘s some fucking bullshit“
Kevin didn‘t even notice the tears running down his cheeks. It‘s been a while since he was that emotional, since he let his walls down and dared to show emotions.
„You really did listen“, was all Aaron had to say.
„Why wasn‘t I enough for you?“, Kevin replied, voice thick of tears, Irish accent strong.
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caxsthetic · 5 years ago
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PHANTASM BLUES • Suna Rintarou x Reader x Kita Shinsuke
Episode 1: Hidden Feelings
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Type: TV Series (Multiple Chapters)
Cast: Suna Rintarou, Kita Shinsuke
Storyline: There was no good ending when your heart was bound to love more than one. And up until now, you still asked the universe why you have been given such curse.
Genre: Slice of Life, Drama
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His intonation started to go up, little by little, "(Y/n), why?" From his usual calm voice, turned into a painful shout, "Fucking answer me!"
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The ocean breeze touched your skin as you stood on the balcony, a phone in your hand while your face was painted with a gentle smile, never once leaving. The white sand and gentle waves could be seen from where you stood, engulfing you with the feeling of home.
You were just done calling all of your family and friends, telling them about the bachelorette party that would be held in two days. Yes, in a few days from now, you would finally become his forever, bear his last name until the end of time.
In just a few days, you would finally become a Suna.
Placing your phone in your pocket, you let out a satisfied sigh as your eyes looked at the sight in front of you. Here you were right now, on the beach house that you bought with your lovely fiancé, the safe haven that the two of you created.
Remembering your fiancé, these past few days had been hectic. The middle blocker went to practice a lot since he had a tournament in a few weeks, making you to be the one who had to take care of the wedding. It burdened you a little sometimes, when question after question was being thrown towards you at once.
Every time you asked for his opinion, he would just say things like, "I am alright with anything." And truth to be told, it was something that made you contemplate things even harder. Because by then, with every single decision that you made, you didn't know if that was what he really wanted.
But even with all of the uncertainty that he put you through, a complaint never once left your lips.
From the very first moment, you knew that to be with him would mean sacrificing a part of your sanity. He was an unpredictable man; sometimes he asked you to just cuddle with him, telling you that you were his personal source of energy. Other times he would just walk past you after practice as if he lived alone in the house.
And for you, it was a price that you were willing to pay.
It was late now, so you decided to go back inside, searching for your fiancé in the house that could be filled with hundreds of people.
"Rin?" You called out as you walked through the hallway, but the only thing that answered your call was silence, "My love?" Your feet strode towards the whole house, searching everywhere until you finally came back again to the bedroom that you two shared.
The room was empty, and the bed was still tucked nicely from where you arranged it this morning, meaning that he hadn't laid down on it. You scrunched up your nose, wondering where this man could be at this hour.
Your worry was answered by an exasperated sigh that you heard, coming from the walk-in closet. You let out a relieved sigh, knowing immediately where your fiancé was. It wasn't hard for you after all to realise that it was him, since you knew any kind of sound that he emit.
Nine years. You had known each other for nine years. You could never forget the first time you laid your eyes on his figure.
He was so enigmatic, such a beautiful human being. And by just given the chance to meet him, you felt like it was a gift from the deity.
The Kyudo tournament would be held in a few days, and that meant you didn't have time to slack off. Every day, you would come home late, practising your shoots at the school's arena. Even if you were the only one who decided to stay up late, you were alright with it.
Today was the same, you were the last person at the club. It was around spring right now, and the night was cold. You walked through the school ground that now looked deserted. Not a single soul could be seen.
While you walked, you decided to open up the canned drink that you bought from the vending machine. But as you looked in your bag, it was no longer there.
"Oh, come on!" You were frustrated, wanting to taste the beverage that you have been saving for a walk home, "I swear to God, why does this happen to me?" And the fact that the closest vending machine was the one located near the volleyball gymnasium (the opposite of your club), made you groan even more.
You walked mindlessly with a pout on your face. It was freezing right now as the wind touched your skin, making you tighten the embrace on your body. When you were finally near the gymnasium though, you were surprised by the sound that you heard from inside.
Curiosity overtook you as you walked closer to the gymnasium door, mind no longer filled with the canned drink. You peeked inside, and the sight that you saw took your breath away.
A couple of students from your year that you knew well (from your friends who could never shut up about their handsome appearance), were shouting and moving their body to follow the ball that aired on the sky. Four of them to be exact.
You have seen them play, a lot of times already. Something that you loved about your school was how supportive each student was towards each other. Every match, no matter what club it was, your school would send a horde of students to give some support.
They all looked so majestic, playing with a smile on their faces as if they were in a different world. Every squelch of sound from the shoes, every serve that they did, and every shout they roared towards each other, it made you feel alive.
But then your eyes caught his movement. One that flows like he knew too well where the ball would go to, one that was so different compared to the others. When the rest of the team moved to follow the ball, he was there, moving in rhythm with it as if they were dance partners.
His gaze was sharp as he positioned himself near the net, ready to block the attack that his opponent gave.
Then again, no matter how perfect a dance was after so many practices, some flaws would be made.
He let out a hiss when the ball hit his little finger. Miscalculated, you assumed. Once his foot touched the ground, he looked at his calloused hand like a broken finger was so common for him. Maybe it was though, with how his friends were all just asking him without any sense of panic lingered on their voice.
"Oi! We ran out of tape!" One of the infamous twins shouted from the bench, hands wrecking whatever was inside the first aid kit to get some tape. But when he could not find any, he walked back to the court where his friends stood, "Shit, Suna, should we get some from the market or something?"
"Of course we should, you idiot."
And just like that the worried atmosphere that engulfed the gymnasium for a second, turned into a full blown fight. The spiky haired outside hitter could only facepalm himself when the twins started to do their daily fight, as if he regretted joining the extra practice that the setter asked them to do.
While the three of them were busy with their own bickering, the one player that was injured could only sigh and sat on the bench. Suna Rintarou, if you were not mistaken, that was his full name. The middle blocker of your school's volleyball team.
He sat there in silence, looking at his hand as he wondered how he could let such a thing slip. Getting lost in his own mind, he didn't realise as you walked towards him and put tape on the bench beside him.
His hair looked so soft, dark brown strands that were still neat even after hours practising. Then you cleared your throat, making him turn his face towards you in an instant. His eyes looked straight into you, a questioning look filled his small green orbs.
Only when you were that close to him did you realise how beautiful this human being in front of you. Your friends never shut up about the twins, yet rarely talked about the gem called Suna Rintarou.
You shot him a look before he could even ask who you were, reassuring him that everything would be alright as you held out your hand, asking for his injured hand.
"Give me your hand, I know what to do."
You walked towards the walk-in closet to check up on your fiancé. With every step that you took, the long sigh that he emitted sounded louder. It made you raise one of your eyebrows as he secluded himself like this.
He was fine this evening when he got back from the practice. The second you opened up the door he engulfed you in this tight hug, saying that he was tired and needed your company to recharge his stamina. So to know that he hid himself like this all of a sudden made your heartstrings tug with worry.
The door creaked a little as you opened it up and stepped inside the closet. The air was cold, and it felt like misery jammed the whole room with the air conditioner sending a shiver running down your spine. So cold that you subconsciously put your hand on your arms, trying to warm yourself.
Your eyes finally fell to the man that you swore you would love forever. There, sitting on the couch that was placed in the middle of the room, he had his back against you. He just looked up to the ceiling, staring into space as he was lost in his own thoughts.
"Rin," You walked up to him with a gentle pace, trying to make sure that you were not invading his privacy, "Why are you here, love? What happened?" His face looked a lot paler right now, green orbs that were usually filled with love and warmth were now only coated with glistening tears that seemed to stick on his orbs.
"Nothing." He looked up at you, swallowing a huge lump, "I am fine." With how long you have known him, you knew that he tried to hide things from you.
He was not someone that really loved to talk about things that bother him. When he had a problem, he just asked you to stay with him, nothing more, not even a word of explanation about why he became so gloomy.
You once asked about why he didn't like to share his burden with you, and his answer was actually simple — because he didn't want you to be worried about whatever was creeping his mind.
"You are not fine." So you always tried to divulge him that you were alright with that, "You wouldn't tremble like this if everything was fine." You were alright with him sharing the burden in his head, and you showed him by putting your hand on top of his, warming his cold skin with your heat.
"Nothing. It's just—" You peered into his face, thumb gently grazed the back of his hand, "I am upset when I know that we ran out of chuupet."
You got a little bit taken aback by his words, you blinked several times until the information finally absorbed into your mind. That was it? The reason behind him looking like someone just ripped his heart apart was just because he ran out of his favourite food?
The statement sure made you chuckle, he could be childish sometimes even as a twenty five year old.
"Goodness, Rin. Why don't you ask me?" You gave him a gentle peck on the lips before resting your palm on his cheek, snickering to know the reason behind his solemn look, "I always stock some in the pantry. Want me to get it for you?"
He nodded softly, afraid that him acting like this made you feel annoyed. But you were the one who volunteered yourself, and even if he was already an adult that could do things by himself, you couldn't help but like to satiate him with some little affection.
"Alright, wait a minute, okay?" You gave him your usual gentle smile before standing up. He nodded and sat down, continued to stare into space just like what he did when you first saw him. It made you frown a little as you walked out to grab some of his late night snacks.
"(Y/n)," Before you could close the door and turn around to face him, he suddenly appeared beside you and engulfed your torso with his, so tight that it was hard to breathe.
You wanted to tell him that the force was too much, asking him to ease the hug a little.
But you couldn't as your body felt how he was trembling by now. Your eyes widened, rushing your arms to wrap around him. It was so sudden, and the way he acted right now made your heart break into million little pieces.
This was the reason why you wanted him to share the burden with you, the sole reason why you wanted him to tell you all the things that were bothering his mind. Because he could be like this from time to time, acting like everything was fine while actually he was stressed to search for a way out.
"Please don't leave me," His voice cracked as he blurted out the words, "I love you, please don't leave me." He was someone who rarely said please. Always thinking that he sounded so desperate every time he said that (no matter how many times you told him it was a word of manners).
Then again, he was so desperate to make you stay, even if he knew that you wouldn't leave him.
"I would never leave you, Rin." You whispered softly, searching for his face, urging him to look at you, "I love you, you know that?"
"I know," He knew, he knew that you loved him, so much that even after all these years, you ended up choosing him, "And I love you," With all of my heart.
He started to relax after you pampered him with soft kisses and spoke with your gentle voice, kept saying things about how you would stay with him, as long as he wanted you to.
"Go wash yourself, then we can relax on the bed with a pack of chuupet, how about that?" You gazed at him with so much love that you always offered to him.
"Alright, no rush to get it then." He rested his forehead on yours, cupping your cheeks with his calloused hand. His green orbs looked so beautiful under the dim light, and it was the last thing you saw before he crashed his lips on yours.
The kiss was passionate, tingling your soul as he pushed you to the nearest wall, demanding as much affection as he could get. You whimpered when his tongue nipped on your bottom lip, and there was nothing else that you could do except parting your lips to let him in.
It was always like this. Every time he was at the breaking point, he would relieve it by releasing his lust. And you? You would succumb to his need until the sun greeted the two of you on the horizon.
But then he pulled away, turning his back on you as he escaped himself to the walk-in closet. You were too dumbstruck, everything was moving a little bit too fast to your liking. He was just there right in front of you, yet the next second he suddenly left you breathless; in a way that felt suffocating.
What he kept doing to you was not good for your heart — yet you stayed anyway.
You let out a long sigh, fingers fiddled with the ring that he gave you one sunny day. You and him, on top of the couch. Just a simple, "Marry me?" but the burst of feelings in your heart that day notifying you that it was all enough. It was all enough because it was him who said those words.
"Fuck," You slapped your own cheeks to bring you back to reality. Maybe the problem he had was just too much. Reminding yourself that he was probably stressed due to his own dispute, you decided to walk downstairs.
Silence consumed the entire space as your feet touched the ground floor. The breeze from the ocean waves slipped from the windows that you let open, made you feel like you were outside while you were standing inside.
You hummed softly, fingers tracing the kitchen islands as you brought yourself to the pantry. Unlocking the door, you pushed it open and went inside, eyes immediately scanning the neat shelves that were filled with snacks and ingredients.
"Where is it..." Muttering under your breath, you crouched down to open up some of the boxes, mind lingering to the previous events.
It was not like him to be like that. When he was stressed, his eyes would look tired or maybe annoyed. But when you recall the memories just now, the only thing that you could see from his green orbs were just pain. And it made you purse your lips, making you feel helpless.
Click!
You jerked your head to the door, raising one of your eyebrows when you heard something come from there. Abandoning the task that you had, you stood up and grip the handle, trying to open up the door. Once, twice, it was stuck, you tried to pull it with some force but it was no use.
"Rintarou!" Calling out for your fiancé, you were hoping that he would come down to search you. You were frantic by now, hands could not stop pushing the handle down, wishing for some miracle that maybe it would be opened.
But after a few attempts that you did, it didn't change the fact that you were locked inside the pantry, in the middle of the night. Though, your mind lingered with hope, since you were sure that your fiancé would search for you. Maybe it will take a few minutes, but he will-
"(Y/n)," You heard his voice from the other side of the door, feeling at ease because he found you in a split second, "I am so sorry," Yet the smile of relief that you had disappeared completely when you heard the tone of his voice.
"Rinrin?" Right now as you heard his melancholy voice, the only thing that you could think of was how to lift his spirit up, "What is it, love?" Your hand unconsciously trying to open up the door once again, "Rin, can you open the door?"
Sweats started to prickle on your skin, worried for yourself, and worried for whatever was lurking inside his mind at the moment. You wanted to see him, engulf him into a bear hug to calm him down. His voice filled with misery as he muttered your name before.
"Can we talk first?" You stopped trying to open the door by now, letting your hands fall to your side, "It will be quick, I just want to know something."
Your lips were dry from the cold atmosphere that consumed you. You wanted to beg for him to open up the door and talk whatever he needed to. But you were afraid that he wouldn't talk to you at all once his eyes met with yours.
"Alright, just tell me, Rin."
"Answer everything truthfully."
"Of course."
Silence filled the air once again as you stood there, waiting for him to emit words. You wonder what he was doing on the other side, wondering what kind of expression that displayed on his face.
"Kita-san." The name rolled down from his lips like a poison, as if the man who bore that name was bad news, "You remember him, right?" His voice sounded scarily calm, like he was so done by just mentioning that one person who was before everything — constantly became the hot topic that he never got tired of talking about.
And here you were right now, completely at loss. You were stunned, didn't know why the name that you let go a few years ago, started to crawl back in front of your eyes.
Just a few days, before you say I do.
"Of course I remember," You said softly, trying to arrange the right words, "He was your captain in high school, someone that you really admire, someone that—"
"—you really love."
He finished your sentence, as if it was the exact same words that you were going to say. You parted your lips, wanting to say that it was not what you meant, wanting to explain to him that he was wrong.
But every denial that you were trying to say, stuck in your mouth as if you were put in silent mode.
You swallowed a huge lump, easing the dryness that you felt as you tried to calm yourself down.
"Why did you ask me that, Rin?"
He knew too well about the relationship that you had before. The first ever relationship that everyone was always envious about. Your relationship with someone that he really respected and admired.
The love that you shared with the light grey haired man was something that everyone could call as pure love. The two of you were always there for each other without once falling apart, like a love story that one found in a children's book.
Your past relationship had been something that everyone wanted to have. There were never any fights, not even a day filled with rage. The two of you would always find a way out from your problem together, something that was rare to find in this world.
And then there was him, Suna Rintarou, the man who had your heart since the first time you saw him in your second year of high school. All of the students thought that you were always dating the middle blocker. But one thing that they didn't know, was the fact Suna always became a coward when it comes to your love.
"You didn't even try to deny that," He chuckled bitterly, and you could hear a thud on the door, making you know that he probably bumped his head on the hard surface, "It was never me anyways, I suppose."
When he received the call that day while he was away, he should have ended everything right there. He should not have continued the ritual that the two of you shared. Maybe, maybe if from the very first start he knew that you were in love with his old captain, he would not let his feelings for you grow even more.
After all, he had no right to stop you from falling in love with someone new. Someone that, on paper, was perfect, someone that would never make you feel sorrow, someone that Suna knew so well would suit you — even better than him.
And maybe he shouldn't have pushed himself too much, stretched his chance to have someone who would love him. To ask you, to be his. Begging for you to stay in his life instead with the man who would never treat you any less.
A selfish plea of him that he didn't know would shatter three souls.
"Rin, what do you mean?" You didn't know why the name was brought up in front of your face once again. Both of you knew that you already closed that chapter of life a long time ago, "What do you mean by that?"
But have you really closed that chapter already?
"You called his name in your sleep," His voice cracked as he remembered how you were fast asleep peacefully, "You called Kita-san last night." And the name that rolled down from your lips, "Why was it not my name? Why was it his name?"
His intonation started to go up, little by little, "(Y/n), why?" From his usual calm voice, turned into a painful shout, "Fucking answer me!"
"I still love him,"
"What?"
The disbelief could be heard from his voice. He knew that deep down, the only woman that he ever loved was never moving on from the past. But that doesn't mean hearing it right from your lips didn't hurt more than it was supposed to.
You answered him with the lowest tone that you could reach. There was no use for you to lie in front of your fiancé. You knew him like the back of your hand, so did he as he knew everything about you, even sometimes when you didn't even know yourself.
"You asked for it," Guilt and shame could be heard from how you spoke up the words, "From how you asked me like that, Rin, I know that you knew."
But he wanted you to lie. He wanted you to answer that you were thinking about some old memories, and just that. Not about your real feelings, he didn't want to know that. He knew everything along the way, about what you buried inside your heart.
He didn't need you to say yes to the fact that he was not the only one you loved.
"Then why?" He gulped down, clenching his hand into a fist as he stared at the hardwood door, wanting you to feel the pain that he felt, "Why were you stringing me along these past years?"
"Oh so now you're blaming it on me?" Shut the fuck up! "You were the one who begged for me to come back, Rin! Don't think you have the right to insult me like that!" Shut up, goddamnit!
You clapped a hand to cover your mouth, didn't believe in yourself from saying such spiteful words towards him, "Rin, I—"
"I'm sorry, love."
"No, no, I am sorry for—"
"I should have never come back."
He grabbed a duffel bag that was laying beside him. When he prepared some stuff in the closet this evening, he thought that he would not have to use it. Hoping that tomorrow morning, he would unpack it like nothing happened.
But right now, he realised that his relationship that he had with you had a countdown from the start. And he could not stretch it too much, no matter how many times he wanted to put a blind eye over this.
"Rin, let's talk." You hiccuped as tears started to run down your face, "Love, please open the door. I am sorry for never coming clean about this."
This was what you were always afraid of since you crossed paths with the gentle senior in college. This was what haunted you since you fell in love with someone else, yet never once falling out of love with the first man.
This was your nightmare, you faced it once, and you have to face it again. Only this time it was with Suna Rintarou.
"It was no use, (Y/n)." He took a step backwards, "We need to take a break from each other."
"No, Rin! Open the goddamn door!" You banged your fist into the oak wood surface that didn't even budge, "Rintarou, please... Just open the door."
He was just staring into the door, the one where you were standing on the other side. Debating what he should do next.
To have you in his life, even for just a moment, was a blessing to him. So maybe, two years having you in his arms was enough. Maybe, his time to be with you was already up — and it was time for him to be the one who let you go.
"I love you, you know that?" He whispered those three magic words like it was the last time he would ever say that to you, making your breath hitched "I promise I only love you."
That was the last words that you heard from him before silence engulfed you once again.
"Rin?" You called him out, in hope that maybe he was still standing in front of the door, "Rin!" But you couldn't hear anything. It was all too quiet, you couldn't believe that he left you here with the door locked.
The next thing that filled your eardrums was the start of an engine car, and you never felt as desperate as this while your mind frantic to search for a way out. Your orbs looked through all the things inside the pantry, and you lit up immediately when your gaze fell on the toolbox at the corner of the room.
With incredible speed, you opened it up and found a hammer there. This could do, with force, you tried to tear down the handle with it.
Tears blurred your line of vision as you realised what it meant for the two of you. Suna was stubborn, if he really did not want to meet someone, he could really disappear from their radar. And you didn't want to be the one he avoided in his life.
After a few attempts to annihilate the lock, it finally crashed down. With as much power as you could gather, you kicked the door from its place and ran as fast as you could towards the terrace.
No, you had sacrificed a lot of things to be here with him. You chose him, you wanted to be with him. You would not let something that you had let go all those years ago jeopardize the relationship that could last until the end of time.
But as your bare feet met with the white sand in front of the house, there was no trace of him anymore.
Just like that, he left you to stand alone in the dark driveway.
For years you have tried so hard to never show him that you were still in love with another man. You understood well that you were the one who was at fault. It was something forbidden to exist in this world, to have romantic feelings for two different people.
Two people that apparently, always thought highly of each other.
It was a rare thing to happen in this universe. To love two people equally, to want them in your life forever without letting the other one go.
But in the end, society would ask you to choose.
And you chose Suna Rintarou as your endgame. Because deep down, everyone could know that he would be broken without someone anchoring his life. He knew, that with you, Suna could be the best version of himself.
Your breath began to get heavier as the realization dawned on you. He left, Suna had left you. He let you go, just like the other man had done so you could be with him instead.
You were not prepared to feel this again, you never thought you would have to endure the loss again, the same agonizing pain that you once felt.
He wouldn't be too far, right? Something clicked inside your mind as you still refused to believe that this is it. With a hurried pace, you ran back inside the house as you wanted to grab your car keys.
In a hurry, you stumbled on the wooden rung that was installed on the terrace, making you fall forward. And in reflex, you tried to grab the banister beside you.
But you were not fast enough.
Your head hit the ground with a loud thud. And in a second, your mind was detached from the rest of the world. All you could concentrate on was the pain rooted deep inside your head. The pain that felt like someone had taken a knife to your skull, multiplying the pain that your heart felt before.
It was all blurred as you tried to keep your eyes open. Everything became fuzzy as darkness started to engulf your vision. Your consciousness was floating through an empty space — filled with a thick static.
It was all too much, the pain that was fresh inside your heart was enough to make you want to just leave this world. All the guilt, all the heartbreak, you never wanted this curse, you would have never wanted to feel what love would be if the outcome was nothing but nightmare.
To love more than one person in your life.
To be given such things while you never asked for it.
To live knowing that your existence only brought doom.
You didn't want that, never wanted to be such a catastrophe for two people that you knew didn't deserve to feel this way. To love someone, only for her wanting the other to stay.
The last thing that you remembered before your eyes closed was a red liquid and the metallic smell that filled your sense. At the very end, all you could see was just black.
And if it became the last thing that you ever saw in life, then may it be.
Because maybe, they could live a better life without you.
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5-falsehoods-phonated · 4 years ago
Text
March Ado About Nothing
Series Summary - A series of one-shots and  drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.
A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.
Day 11: Song of Grief
Summary: Virgil takes time off for a concert of a lifetime, but when they cancel at the last minute nothing can console him. That is, until Janus offers a solution.
Prompts: Wound Reveal/Secret Injury, *Grief*, "Run!"
Ships: Platonic Anxciet (Virgil & Janus)
Warnings: grieving. Let me know if there are more!
General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi  @im-an-anxious-wreck  (If you have asked to be tagged, please reblog)
WC: 620
“Would you like another blanket?”
“Stop mocking me.”
“I hadn’t realized asking a question, filled with the brim with care and good intention-”
“Leave me alone to my misery.”
“Virgil, it’s been three days and some of us would like to use the couch-”
“I am grieving!” So saying Virgil flopped onto his side, a blanketed cocoon of misery incarnate laying on a treasured hill of rimpled tissues and broken dreams. He was sweltering in his hoodie zipped up to his shin and fluffy blanket he had dragged off the back of the couch to cover himself with after he had heard the news.
He had been excited for this for months, clearing his schedule the very day he had bought the tickets. Evanescence was touring right in the city closest to him and he had enough money and vacation days to be able to go. And then some issue had happened- he didn’t remember what and frankly it didn't matter- and they weren’t coming anymore. They so rarely toured anywhere close to him and this was the first time they had ever been in his area, and now he had missed his chance to see his favorite band live- really, truly live not just looking up performances on youtube. And he was devastated.
He understood he was probably overselling it a little but he had been so excited and now it was official; his money had already been refunded along with an apology email he hadn't’ read, simply falling back on the couch and not moving unless he had to use the bathroom. Janus had been walking by with water and food every so often, offering a kind word or two and petting his hair, but he wouldn’t be comforted. He couldn’t be.This was his one chance and he had missed it- and not even because of his anxiety! It just...sucked. So he was grieving and Janus could fuck right the hell off with his “Some of us want the T.V.”
He growled as his head was suddenly lifted, immediately after feeling his cheek run against denim as ge was deposited in Janus’ lap and fingers were carding through his hair. He pouted anyway, not wanting to be consoled even if it did feel nice. He was allowed to be angry and sad and there was nothing Janus or anyone else could do about it.
“There you got to use the couch now go away.” Virgil grumpily mumbed as he slid his head off the others’ leg and curled into a tight ball.
“I suppose I could, but hen I couldn’t show you these.” Paper crinkled in front of huis face and he squeezed his eyes shut stubbornly. Only when his nose was attacked, the corners of the stiff paper tickling his mercilessly, did his eyes snap open along with his mouth to deliver a piece of his mind before he saw what they were.
“Are those…?”
“Tickets to a concert a few hours drive away to replace the one they cancelled so your vacation isn't wasted? I suppose not if you’re too busy grieving to be comforted.”
Throwing the blankets off Virgil tackled Janus in a crushing hug, stubborn pride replaced with a happiness that brightened the dark room he had sat in for days.
Janus laughed softly, petting his head. “We’re leaving later today to be there in time so get everything together now...also maybe shower; sitting in the same position for three days hasn’t done you as many favors as you think.”
Batting at his friend lightly, Virgil dutifully popped up and ran to the bathroom, leaving Janus to shake his head and clean up the mess the living room had become.
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