#i could have easily kept going
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Request for Anonymous
Gif Source: The one bed
Imagine being friends with the Winchesters and you and Dean are pining for each other and on one hunt the two of you have to share a bed.
------- Imagine -------
“God I can’t wait to just shower and crash in a nice…cozy…” you looked at the motel Sam was currently in the office of to get you all rooms. “well, a bed at any rate, as long as it is clean I don’t care. I’m tired of sleeping in the car.” Dean looked over at you looking just as haggard and tired. “Amen to that.” He said and you didn’t notice the way his eyes lingered on you while you stood straighter, stretching your neck and then you back before leaning back against Baby next to him. Nor did you see the way his eyes lingered on your backside, him biting his lip, as you pushed away from the car at Sam’s approach.
“So get this,” Sam said looking between the two of you, “They only had one room left. There are two queens though.” Sam finished in a rush when he noticed you face drop.
“Oh, come one Sam!” You said defeated. “I am too tired and way too sore to try and crash on the couch, or in the car if god forbid their isn’t a couch.”
Sam sighed. Both him and Dean knew your pain. The very few times there had not been enough rooms or beds in a given location you had all alternated sleeping on the couch or in the car to make it fair. More often than not though you did it because you felt bad for the much taller men trying to make that sacrifice for you. “I am sorry.” Sam said giving you his patented puppy dog eyes. “That’s all they had left. We could keep driving but the manager said the next closest Inn is over seventy five miles away.”
You groaned and made a whining noise in your throat. You knew you sounded like a petulant child, but you didn’t care. The three of you had just got off a very long, and very hard hunt and you all just needed to decompress. This situation could not be happening at a worse time.
“Why don’t we just share? One night won’t kills us.” Dean asked from behind you. You thanked whatever God was above that he was in fact still behind you as you blushed and looked at Sam for support. He knew how you felt about his brother, had for a long time, if there was anyone you could count on to help you out of this situation it was him.
Sam smiled then looking at you before facing Dean an replying, “You know what, that’s a great idea.”
‘Traitor!’ You screamed in your head before plastering on a fake smile and turning back to face Dean. “Sounds like a plan Winchester.” Did your voice just squeak, you thought. “I get first dibs on the shower though.
Dean just shrugged in acknowledgement, seemingly fine with how the night was turning out. You on the other hand were a bundle of nerves and resigned yourself to a very, very cold shower. You would need it. You were about to share a bed with a man you had been pining for for months! How in hell were you ging to lay in bed next to Dean fucking Winchester and not jump the man’s bones.
“You ok there (Y/N), you’ve gone a little pale?” Dean asked sidling next to you as the three of you approached the room, and your doom.
“Yep, yep, all good Dean. Alllll gooooooood.” You said knowing you sounded crazy, but trying to smile through it. Dean just snorted and let you enter the room first watching you bend to set down your bags and remove your jacket exposing part of your upper back.
“Fuck, tonight is going to be a long night.” He said to himself before joining you and Sam inside and closing the door.
#my imagines#gifs not mine#female reader#supernatural imagine#dean winchester imagine#one bed trope#i could have easily kept going#this was fun to write#funny#pining#supernatural#dean winchester
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brought to you by me hosting a friend for two days who grew up in the same cultural region, and tbh will not be invited again.
#night two of spontaneously showering for over an hour with no notice just as i indicated i wanted to go to bed...#pls consider. i have to shit lol#i also have meds#i'd honestly make fuckin due if i'd had the indicators to like. idk say oh i need to grab my meds first#but also idk how to put it other than this is one of. so many behaviors that are making me just about reconsider the friendship as a whole#within 2 days#i lowkey wanna cry because this has gone so badly overall#and i feel like i'm in a position where it's both unfair for me to not communicate this distress (because maybe we could work it out)#but also if i do communicate. this individual was having and is now coming out of a hypomanic episode where they kept talking about#self harm related habits and displaying self hatred for the mildest of critiques#and they've never communicated what to do in these situations previously so idk their boundaries and honestly don't trust them to establish#boundaries that they would benefit from because they have a large history of that#so uh. yeah in conclusion i am counting the hours til they leave and i can more easily try to figure out how the fuck to handle this
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I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.
#I CANT STAND THE CONFUSION IN MY MIND#also i get why people wrote wanda/sylvie. they should go on a wholesome chick-flick revenge-quest together. and also they should kiss.#also i am now only *half* joking about thor being in love with mjolnir#it kept doing Christianity Bits which was quite awks.#not sure why it used the bit about building the church on a rock for some metal i mean wasn't jesus making a pun there? about peter?#i think Vision might be Jesus? or else he's Dr Manhattan who's done a first year philosophy course. could go either way on that tbh.#BUT TONY WAS THE BADDY RIGHT? WAS HE? WAS TONY THE BADDY OR NOT????#with the homocidal glitches in what he thinks is his winning personality?#and all the weapons he's made and is in fact still making but now he only sells them to The Good Guys?#except look how easily they fall out with each other and also don't a lot of innocent bystanders die in their overly long action scenes?#also i need to write fic about whether mjolnir does in fact obey some unknown code that can be cracked if you set your mind to it#she does like Robot Jesus so apparently we can rely on her to make the major decisions from now on#the ending's a bit ominous - apparently someone's collecting those TVA paperweights to do... something? Oh no! :O#yeah i watched the MCU in the wrong order shut up this was inevitable and Marvisney should just embrace that at this point#(i know 'Marvisney' will never catch on but that will not stop me using it)#the loki series ending is but the latest installment of “unlimited power with no oversight is fine as long as the Good people have it”#UNLESS TONY WAS ACTUALLY THE BADDY. WHICH AS I MENTIONED I AM NOT AT ALL CLEAR ON.#maybe what i mean is was tony stark the baddy *on purpose*?#i only picked this one to watch next because tumblr gifsets told me thor wears a nice coat in it#which he does! but only for a small fraction of the film :(#journey into the mcu#the avengers (the marvel ones not the other ones)
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I was feeling like a bit of slightly-angsty isolation this thursday, so...
AU where, instead of a double transmigration happening, RokSoo transmigrated to ogCale's body, but ogCale was put into a newly made double of his body and confined into a dimension pocket.
And just, no one knows about it and he can't get out until certain conditions are reached. For example: that someone finally gets rid of WS.
Luckily for him, RokSoo and company are rather fast to kill the white star. It only took them two years, way better than in his previous timeline.
Although, those are still two years in which og!Cale, the 40-year-old war soldier turned an 18-year-old time-traveler, had to spend trapped in that place. Completely alone except for the occasional god checking on him, and a few animals a god had the kindness to let for him. (It was Loki, but no one is going to call him out).
Og!Cale is a person who loves easily and deeply but, contrary to his true nature, someone who lived through decades without deep boundaries to gave him feedback. Whether it was during the war that took everyone he knew from him, or before that, with the family he choose to stay at distance and love them from the side-lines. He lived so long without feeling genuine care, making any emotional bond that isn't one-sided, that he's hungry for them.
Being in the past, where everyone he loves hadn't died yet, where they will live, and being so close— just a dimensional door away, really— but not being able to see them, hear them, nor even talk to them... It hurts.
He's happy and so, so glad. They're alive. They can laugh and eat and breath again— and, someday, he will see them again. Even if they don't know how to act with him and is uncomfortable. Even if, most probably, they don't know he's not there and don't miss him, he will see them again.
So, yeah, he's fine with this situation. He accepted this.
That doesn't mean that the waiting doesn't suck. He, a freedom loving person, trapped in the godly version of a safehouse. Most of the days it's only he, his thoughts and the ridiculous massive library Athena managed to fit in here. And his friends, the animals, of course.
Inside of that lonely place, of course, Cale gets attached to the animals that are by his side everyday. He was already an animal lover, to begin with. The little guys who just go through their lives being absolutely adorable and are more loyal than most people around... How can he not love them?
Besides, Athanasia, the griffin, gives the best cuddles he has ever had.
He gets used, eventually. It's not like he never had lived in a big house where the only beings around wouldn't speak more than three words to him. (Well, at least the animals try to talk with him. He just needed to learn what they mean.)
And Cale can do whatever he wants here. If he wants to play the violin or paint, do acrobatics or keep his training, he can just do it. There's no need to hide. No need to restrain himself.
There's no one here to get sad at her memories. No one to spread rumors about 'skills' or 'talents'. No one to turn his interests into weapons against his own family by comparing Bassen to him.
Eventually, it feels like a different kind of freedom here.
—And then he gets out.
#so he has to stay there until the things with ws finish#he's so bored and trying not to have bad thoughts#so he keeps himself bussy with anything he can think of#the library? he read it thrice already#he plays with every single of the animals there#he teaches the parrot to sing and give sassy remarks#he plays catch the ball with the griffin#and fake fights with the fenrir#he also talks with them all the time as if he could understand them and the gods don't know if he's joking or not#except loki. he knows the truth#he tried every single hobby that he could think of at least once#kept some of them but he's never doing pottery ever again#too much mud under his fingers. his brain and og!cale himself didn't like it#krs!cale is gonna be jealous that someone else got the chance to live his slacker life#while he was running around dealing with terrorists#but og!cale had had enough isolation for a life time (hah)#the god of death is going to be in some deep shit once they find out#og!cale probably would try to explain that#no. it was not kidnapping. i accepted this#“i mean. being trapped in a dimensional pocket where you can lose track of the time easily is not that fun#but it wasn't that bad either. I had animals with me"#and accidentally make it worst#though they get distracted when og!cale presents his pets to the children and mary#og!cale henituse#og cale#og cale henituse#og!cale#athanasia the griffin#she's baby and could kill a man with a single paw#but she most likely won't
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Finally told my one (1) anti friend I'm proship now. I can post my OCs In Peace....
#duran muses#proshippers please interact#proship#profic#im a bit scared ngl#not because hes the type to actually harass people (hes staunchly opposed to it) (but hes very firm on proshippers needing therapy)#(to “cope in ways that dont hurt others”)#but because hes a good friend and if it wasnt for the shipping discourse we could totally continue being buddies#but now i dont know...#hes asleep rn (we have different timezones) so i guess I'll have to wait till the morning#to see what he thinks#i also explained than me realizing i was proship was the reason why my internet activity suddenly became so erratic:#i moved accounts in ig like 4 times and changed my pseudonym and used names. only so that former antishipper friends dont recognize me#or at least not easily#he's the only one ive kept a friendship with#hes my best buddy..... he's going to leave me aint he?#sad#vent
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Things I liked about My Personal Weatherman (2023):
The much-remarked-upon idea that you can create a Pavlovian response in your partner to find sunny weather erotic if you date a meteorologist who only wants to have sex when it's going to be nice out
The reason for that accidental Pavlovian response being that they didn't have a dryer or extra sheets so the meteorologist wants to be considerate of their bedsheets drying on the clothesline
The absolutely unhinged behaviour of being friends with someone for ages and talking about your fave local celebrity crush with them every day, and never once telling that friend that the celebrity crush is your boyfriend
Two people being so incapable of voicing how they're feeling that despite being in a long-term, committed relationship, sleeping together, going on dates and arguably being engaged, they're still confused about if the other person likes them
The idea that despite all of those communication issues, you can maintain a relationship mostly by merit of being really open to constructive criticism, non-verbal gestures and having an obedience kink
A lot of the non-verbal gestures themselves (holding hands, the buying of extra sheets, smiling more, the feeding each other and caretaking when one person isn't well, the moment where Yoh wants to make a charm to make the rain go away)
The concept of falling in love with someone because you think their cooking is terrible and you find it very endearing and you will never tell them how bad it is
Things I didn't like about My Personal Weatherman (2023):
While it is good that Yoh doesn't actually do everything he is told, having the type of relationship they do (ongoing dynamic of obedience and control) and not talking what your boundaries and needs are is a hard pill to swallow, and can lead to concerns around consent
The repeated themes of jealousy and control without actually interrogating what it means for the characters (i.e. just moving past using a tracking device on your partner, lingering questions about financial and emotional dependence)
Mizuki, like many a protagonist, seems to have no friends in his life beyond his partner, and has a hard time accepting his partner spending time with friends. Get some friends, Mizuki!
Absolutely tired of shows framing interest in someone of the same gender as an exception to the rule rather than a part of a person's orientation
They don't get that much better at communicating as the shows goes on! There's hints of it (establishing desires and needs like being greeted at home, acknowledging the enjoyment of the obedience, asking what traits the other finds most appealing) but by the end, they still have not found a way to be more direct with one another. It leaves the plot feeling a bit listless
#my personal weatherman#taikan yoho#if ur gonna watch it on the basis of this post. please know. it is heavily based on the obedience thing#i would say i enjoyed it overall. but that is in the framework of my choosing to see it in the kindest light possible#a 'babe do you have a crush on me?'/'we're married' situation. but both ways. being insane about who you love and what you like#i could easily see someone else watching it and finding it upsetting#i was going to make the 'what i didn't like' a separate reblog but then i thought. no. u should get the whole picture#ayesha says things#japanese television#television#long post#suggestive#i kept going back and forth about a read more but i added it back in#varied views
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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#see the problem is all the characters are delightful and easily shippable#i could have kept going really#bob belcher#linda belcher#tina belcher#gene belcher#louise belcher#bobs burgers#bob’s burgers#jimmy pesto#tina x zeke#zeke x jimmy jr#bob x jimmy pesto#louise x rudy#louise x logan#bob x linda x teddy#jimmy pesto x trev#mort x teddy
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I want to present masc so bad but with my parents and family as a whole it's near impossible rn
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#(I vent in tags so don't read if you don't wanna read me venting sorry)#I've essentially recloseted myself if that makes sense#I came out to my mom and dad and they were all iffy abt it#“and is it ok if I'm gay too..?” “well that's not rlly possible”#my dad says even tho I just told them both I'm a trans man#I'm near positive they still see me as their daughter and everytime I think abt that I want to throw up until I can't#my mom even told me to hide my identity as a trans man to my very Christian grandma bc it would be “hard for her to come to terms with it”#I came out to them maybe three almost four years ago by now#and I came out to my other grandma and all I got was her saying “yeah it's ok but what if you're wrong?”#“What if you do smth to your body that you can't reverse?”#“We faught for you kids to not have labels and you're going back to them”#she acted like I could get surgery or smth right then and there#all I could do even now if the puberty blockers which is so easily reversible it's crazy I just have to stop taking it#others who aren't trans take it so why can't I#they act like I'm this silly teenager doesn't know what he's talking abt but I've done my research on this stuff#I don't fucking care what my family thinks abt my identity and they can fuck off if they don't wanna accept me#my mom even told me that she “told my grandma I'm bisexual bc she'll be able to comprehend that better”#and my dad literally going “these are nice gender neutral shoes” when I was looking for BLACK SHOES#and he kept repeating it too I'm so sick of this shit I rlly am#I love my family but they rlly piss me off sometimes
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im tired of watching all the stories
#i wish i said yes to the guy who asked me to accompany him on the trip#bcg wasn't going anyway and now he went to uttrakhand had his own little trip#i shouldn't have book tickets for home oh god#i glad i could be around mom and she thanked me so much because she's been feeling alone since brother left#and the responsibilities to take care of my grandmother they're really weighing upon her#i don't know if i will get any leaves further this year there are no scheduled ones#i don't want to sit back at home when i could've easily joined any group that went on trips#my friend kept asking me too#this is fucking shit if bcg doesn't agree for trips ill leave without him thats what i keep thinking but deep down i know i want him to be#everywhere#and the only other couple we could plan stuff with. the girl and bcg have stopped talking for nothing#i hat3 this i fucking hate being at home right now i always feel guilty and scared here for nothing
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catching up with missed journal entries from months ago using random shit we wrote down at the time plus stuff from our search history and tumblr posts and stuff, and we got to an entry for a day that was apparently so stressful we started shaking and getting a migraine before we'd even started writing it so that's something
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#I have to write this stuff out in one place specifically so we can check back more easily to see when things happened#otherwise everything becomes a confusing mess where we can't put events in order properly#and we have barely kept on top of journaling since like the start of February so you can imagine how things have been going for us#luckily if anything especially significant happened we'll often have written it down somewhere#or might be able to remember the rough date for it or something like that#and for less significant stuff we can often figure it out from other stuff#but having it all in one place is a lot better than having to try and figure it out based on random clues when we need to know what happene#plus the app we use for journaling is a mood tracker and we wanted to actually track how activities affect our moods#technically I could just decide not to catch up with it other than a few especially significant entries#but then we'd have more and more trouble remembering what happened during the rest of all that#and I would actually like to remember anything from the last 4 months
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I’ve been having a rough few days, but I’ve been feeling a bit better so I decided to make some lil thingies for some spiraling upwards kitties :3
#keese draws#warrior cats oc#spiraling upwards#I’ve posted art of ratstar and pigeonbillow before but the other three I haven’t I think#but yeah these are some more of the minkclan founders#and by that I mean two of them are and one of them was a kitten at the time#lightning is haveniris’ mom but she didn’t trust herself to raise him so her clanmates sort of collectively raised him#and by that I mean mostly pigeon and two other old ppl that aren’t included here#light did end up opening up to him more and acting as more of a mom after he chose to become a medic tho#the two have a complicated relationship for sure but they still care abt each other a lot#oh yeah and literally all of these guys are dead by the time murtle rolls around except for haven#pigeon died about two years before the other two and raincinder has been dead since before minkclan was properly founded#which is unsurprising given she’s such an old withering woman#she mostly made it that long because she was given a guide sponsor life#so long story short not all starclan cats actually get to use the cool starclan powers and those who do are usually ‘sponsored’ with an#extra life and a cool star like marking#this isn’t a well known thing tho and even within starclan only higher ranking cats rly know anything beyond knowing that every now and#then new guides are chosen#now usually what’s supposed to happen is that the sponsored cat has a close eye kept on them and if they are deemed worthy they’re allowed#to keep their mark and become a guide once they die the second time#the main flaw in this system is that the cat who sponsored them has to be the one to revoke it#so if they refuse to revoke it for whatever reason there’s not much that can be done about it#or in raincinder’s case her sponsor ended up fading before they could judge her fully#so even though by all means even the most rebel friendly guides would revoke it easily she managed to keep her mark til death#this was ofc largely helped by her living til 19 fucking years dear god woman#but hey I guess it means minkclan gets a guide even though she’s a rly shitty one#rly that mostly only matters for the sake of nine lives and the sake of travel between starclan and the living territories#which actually does cause a lot of problems when all the guides decide to go haunt a child instead#oh also guides also pass on their mark to leaders who’s life ceremony they hosted#not the guide role tho each guide gets a new mark
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There's a thing I've learned over the years and I thought, I might share it. You know what's one of the best things you can do? Talk openly about your insecurities to others. The more you openly talk about yourself or make a little fun about your insecurities instead of trying to hide them, makes every interaction with others much more comfortable... at least in my opinion!
#just to name an example- my supervisor and I just were hiking once again and the path was super steep.#so I was like “ah great while you're going to levitate ever so easily up there I'm gonna turn into a locomotive 🚂#and I have to be careful not to fcking suffocate“#we both laughed about it and I kept talking about how my life's affected by being overweight but that I still have much fun in#physical activities and that I technically don't feel as overweight at all as I am (until it's time to walk up a mountain lmfao)#but that type of talking works with a lot of things#body hair... acne... scars... idk... talks like that just make me in general more relaxed because I don't have to hide anything or worry#what they could think of me... if you have backstories about your insecurities and why you are the way you are#people have less to judge. they usually only judge if they don't know about how chill you are about yourself
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i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.
#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!#I literally am speechless#I’m not super talky right now#but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless#like I already said I love your writing 🩷#and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration#like????????? what??????? me???????????!#I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down#I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true#I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty#one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me#idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing#not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately#and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon -#my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that#I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks)#and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life#so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know#asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes#and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️#then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A#and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol#but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6#and she was talking about how impressive that is#and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get#I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’#it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again#who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting#I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory#anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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My mom: why would someone want to be called "they?" They're not more than one person
Me: See how you just used the singular "they're" there? You use it a lot. Like when you're reading an article or listening to a story about someone, you'd say "they sound pretty cool, who are they?" Or "what was that person doing? They seem lost." There's quite a few instances of using singular they.
My mom: I just find it a bit confusing.
Me: and that's okay to be confused at first! But whether or not you're confused, it's respectful to call people what they want to be called. You wouldn't call someone a nickname that they asked you not to use, right?
My mom: I suppose so.
Me: it doesn't hurt anyone to use someone's pronouns. But it does hurt someone when you call them by the wrong name or set of pronouns. It's just about respecting people's boundaries. It's okay to be confused, but don't let that affect how you treat people.
My mom: That makes sense. Thank you Danielle.
I'm glad that my mom remains open-minded for most things. Many of her friends are queer so she's always willing to learn more. I appreciate her about that.
However, she's a bit more stubborn about some of her other opinions 😅 mostly ableism lol
But my mom is cool as hell
#.bdo#i havent even come out as agender yet#we were just talking about my friend luna and she asked me why i kept using they#it's actually the first time she ever heard about someone using they/them pronouns#she didnt already have a set opinion about it#she just had some questions and thats okay#the next time luna comes over my mom is going to respect their pronouns#it took one conversation#having a hippie stoner parent is pretty cool actually#only issue i have w her right now is her ableist remarks#she thinks my health issues could be solved soooo easily and im just lazy#however#she still goes out of her way to help me on bad days#and actually takes care of my kid and i#and her actions speak louder than words
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Really wish this brain fog would pass bc I have a shitload of posts in my drafts i saved bc i wanted to read them but my brain said no. And it's tax season so I'm getting important papers in the mail and I cant fucking read them. Well I can read them but it's just words. Nothing is connecting up there. Thank god mom is here to help read that shit and translate but fuck do I hate this shit
Why can't my brain fucking WORK
#it feels like when i kept getting concussions in 9th grade (had 4) and i couldnt fucking focus and my reaction time dropped significantly#like we were doing a basic reaction time experiment in science and i said oh lets not use mine when we submit it (group of 3 pick best#result) and my friends were like pfft whatever go. and i did and they got real quiet and were like oh...#bc they didnt realize i was concussed concussed like bitch my ability to vaguely see in the dark is GONE i cannot see my rt is SLOWED#my brain cannot WORK RIGHT#it's recovered since then (yay neuroplasticity) but i still have bad brain fog from fibro and it's like god at least when I was concussed i#could easily be like listen i had 4 concussions i need help. no problem. but with brain fog it feels like give me a min im stupid today#i hate it!! i hate feeling broken i hate feeling like my brain is half working! it sucks!!#i got insurance shit the other day and had to ask my mom to make sure it was just a basic 'yeah youre covered heres more access' and not#something i needed to act on and it was so frustrating#marquilla#and whats worse is sometimes ill be talking or typing and think im making sense and then ill look back at it later or someone will ask me ab#it and its like oh... im sorry my brain is not working atm and i cannot get out what im trying to and what is getting out is jumbled#the absolute worst is when it hits when im driving and it's like hey you're 2 hours away from home snd now LOST get home bitch :)#luckily it only happened when i was 40 min from home and in a familiar enough area but my brain couldnt find the right 'path'#sucked but i actually knew i was actually on the right path when i saw this house with a lesbian flag sgsgdgdgdgdgdgd like oh! here!!
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