#i hate it!! i hate feeling broken i hate feeling like my brain is half working! it sucks!!
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Really wish this brain fog would pass bc I have a shitload of posts in my drafts i saved bc i wanted to read them but my brain said no. And it's tax season so I'm getting important papers in the mail and I cant fucking read them. Well I can read them but it's just words. Nothing is connecting up there. Thank god mom is here to help read that shit and translate but fuck do I hate this shit
Why can't my brain fucking WORK
#it feels like when i kept getting concussions in 9th grade (had 4) and i couldnt fucking focus and my reaction time dropped significantly#like we were doing a basic reaction time experiment in science and i said oh lets not use mine when we submit it (group of 3 pick best#result) and my friends were like pfft whatever go. and i did and they got real quiet and were like oh...#bc they didnt realize i was concussed concussed like bitch my ability to vaguely see in the dark is GONE i cannot see my rt is SLOWED#my brain cannot WORK RIGHT#it's recovered since then (yay neuroplasticity) but i still have bad brain fog from fibro and it's like god at least when I was concussed i#could easily be like listen i had 4 concussions i need help. no problem. but with brain fog it feels like give me a min im stupid today#i hate it!! i hate feeling broken i hate feeling like my brain is half working! it sucks!!#i got insurance shit the other day and had to ask my mom to make sure it was just a basic 'yeah youre covered heres more access' and not#something i needed to act on and it was so frustrating#marquilla#and whats worse is sometimes ill be talking or typing and think im making sense and then ill look back at it later or someone will ask me ab#it and its like oh... im sorry my brain is not working atm and i cannot get out what im trying to and what is getting out is jumbled#the absolute worst is when it hits when im driving and it's like hey you're 2 hours away from home snd now LOST get home bitch :)#luckily it only happened when i was 40 min from home and in a familiar enough area but my brain couldnt find the right 'path'#sucked but i actually knew i was actually on the right path when i saw this house with a lesbian flag sgsgdgdgdgdgdgd like oh! here!!
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#i want to disappear but i don't even have the energy to do that#i'm so pathetic every method apart from N seems too hard for me#and that means flying to Peru#i barely speak any Spanish and i have to find a good excuse as to where i'm actually going i hate lying and i'm scared#i want to take it back here but how much trouble will i get in if i'm caught i'm so scared#and i said i'd read the Bible first but i just can't#i can't concentrate#so i just do nothing#i can't even numb myself#i feel sick after half a bottle of vodka but i don't feel any better#i don't know when i will ever summon the energy to take action#i know i should be grateful#i'm not sleeping on the street#i have somewhere warm to be#i'm not going through a war or a famine#why aren't i more grateful#it's more guilt bc i feel like why should i have those things when others don't#i don't feel like i deserve it#i feel so useless#my brain is so broken i can't even make motivate myself to eat#or take the meds because they don't do anything at all#mental health services can't help they don't even care#i don't blame them bc they're overworked overstretched underfunded#i am just an annoyance and i know that i wish i could stop existing and stop being annoying#i just have no motivation for anything at all#permanently exhausted#i have nothing to offer#it's been hammered into me that i don't matter i get it#i just want to sleep forever
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i feel like im LOSING it ive lost my ENTIRE MIND
#crunchyposts#i feel like my brains broken lol#hate this. help me.#all of this is lighthearted jokey but i do feel like i am losing my mind more and more every day idk whats happening to me#me ventilating#<- like half
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My Wedding Date is an Escort!
Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancè. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.
Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader
Word Count: 3,682
Warning: Mentions of depression, anxiety, language
A/N: And so part one is complete!! Please let me know what you think! I plan on posting a new part every Saturday! In the mean time I will work on my brain worm fics/requests!!
Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight
Gold calligraphy mocked you as you stared at the wedding invitation on your table. Any normal person would have been elated over their best friend getting married. The dresses, cake, looking at venues! It should have been a happy, wonderful time.
And it would have been amazing if your best friend had met her fiance through anyone other than Toji Zenin. Your ex-fiance, the man who broke your heart, who was also the groomsman at the wedding! The same wedding you were a bridesmaid in.
Life fucking hated you.
Your break up was a year and a half ago. It was tucking painful, watching the life and future you had imagined slip away. You were inconsolable for the first few months, but any other person would feel the same if their fiance broke up with them the way Toji had done to you. Part of you liked to think you were getting better; you knew you weren't healed completely.
The closer the wedding came, the more nervous and sick you got. In a month, you would have to face Toji for the first time in over a year. He was doing much better off than you. He got married! He was now Toji Fushiguro and he and his wife had a son!
Fate was a cruel bitch. He was living his dreams: a house, a pretty wife, a sweet, beautiful son. Toji got everything he wanted while you sunk into the darkness of despair. Toji had ruined you, marked you in ways you weren't sure you'd ever heal from. You never wanted to be hurt like that again. That's why you were single.
Single and traumatized. Perfect intro on your dating profile. So yeah, dating wasn't your thing right now.
Which puts you in a messy fucking predicament. You would be at a wedding with your Ex, who was living the life you had always wanted. Why was he given happily ever after while you were left to pick up the pieces of your broken heart? You could already see the pitiful expressions that your loved ones would be wearing, and that made your skin crawl with anxiety.
You could not show up to the wedding alone.
Which is why you were sitting in your kitchen, drowning in anxiety. You stared at your laptop, bouncing your leg nervously as you scrolled on Escorts4y0u.com. Damn, Yu Haibara, for suggesting this to you. You were shopping for a fuckin’ escort!?
You shot his insane suggestion down as soon as he said it. You had begun ranting about how even more embarrassing it would be if your family found out. First, your fiance leaves you a month before your wedding. Then you go and pay for someone to pretend to be your boyfriend all because you couldn’t bear yourself to start dating again?
Amid your nervous rant, Haibara just put his hand on yours. He assured you that no one would know that they were an escort. If they were good at their job, all your family would see was a happy couple. They would be someone to go to the wedding with, and once you paid them, you would never see them again! No one would be the wiser.
“It's their job to make you feel good and help you have a good time. And you deserve to be happy.” Haibara had said with pity in his eyes. Just thinking about his face, that expression, made you cringe to think of the faces of everyone at the wedding.
“Fuck it.” You cursed, clicking on the escort you liked the most.
Gojo Satoru, twenty-eight years old. His profile listed that he was well-educated and came from a prestigious clan. He was charismatic, confident, and kind. You read dozens of reviews. His previous clients gushed over him. All five stars, every single person he’d helped was grateful for him. Plus, Gojo was very attractive. He had pure white hair, was over six feet tall, and had the most stunning blue eyes you'd ever seen. He was the ideal partner anyone would want to take home to meet the family.
Which would explain why he was the most expensive escort on the website.
“¥120,000 for a day!?” You screeched as you bounced your leg faster, doing the mental math in your head. “That’s ¥900,000.00 for a week.” The mere amount of money you were about to spend almost had you slamming your laptop shut. But Haibara’s face crossed your mind; Toji’s face began to form before you shook your head.
Hiring Gojo was your only option. You had to do this to avoid getting hurt again. Plus, you had to use the deposit from your honeymoon eventually. It would be like burying the past!
“Okay, okay, you got this; just book it Y/N!” Getting up, you jumped up and down to hype yourself up before you hit the green phone icon and dialed the number. The phone rang once and twice.
“This is Gojo!” A gruff but cheery voice answered.
You’re sure your soul left your body as you squealed in shock. He answered!? The man you were going not only to pay but also beg to pretend to be your boyfriend?!
“Hello?” A faint hint of humor and curiosity laced the voice in your ear.
You groaned, rubbing your hand down your face with a whine. “S-Sorry, I was expecting a receptionist for something.” You put the phone on speaker before hitting your head against your table.
“Oh! My bad, sorry!” His chuckle was a deep noise through the receiver. “We put our business numbers on the site. It’s just easier for us to schedule our clients like this.” He hummed. “I assume you’re on the escort website?”
“Yes, I—I was wondering if you might be free next month for a wedding? It’s my best friend.”
“Give me a sec.” Shuffling papers filled your anxiety. “A month from today?”
“Yes.”
Gojo hummed happily, “I am free that whole week! So will it be the wedding and reception?” A pen could be heard writing down notes.
”So it’s uhm, it’s a destination wedding. It’s in Kyoto, and I need you for the whole week. If that’s not an issue or problem.”
”Okay, that shouldn’t be an issue. It’s far enough out that I can block my schedule.” He whistled happily, jotting down more notes. “So the whole week, wedding, reception—“
For some odd reason, it sounded like he was hesitating or weighing his options, questioning if he wanted to even take you on as a client. The growing fear of rejection spreads like wildfire through your stomach. You never used to feel like this; you were so happy and confident before. But after everything Toji did, what he said to you after you had—well, it left some really deep scars that still hadn’t healed. When your mind picked at those still healing wounds, making them bleed, you acted before thinking.
”I have the money!” Gripping the table's edge, you stared at Gojo’s headshot on the website. “Please, I need this!”
“Hey, hey! I’m not worried about the money, sweetheart.” His voice was thick like honey; the pet name sounded so sweet. “I’m just making sure I got everything down.” On the other line, Gojo looked down at his calendar. There was something in your voice, desperation, that was genuine.
He’d had tons of clients, and many of them needed help. But in his two years of working in this field, he had never heard such a raw plea for help. Gojo’s interest peaked. Just who were you? What made you so anxious and desperate for his help?
”Let me confirm the details so I can put you in my books, Ms.?” He waited for your name, hearing you sigh in relief as you calmed yourself down
”Y/N, my name is Y/N Y/L/N.”
”Y/N,” Gojo repeated, “Okay, I have you down for next month, the whole week, for a destination wedding in Kyoto.”
You were sighing happily as you relaxed into your chair. “Thank you. It’s 900,000.00. For the whole week?” Gojo cocked an eyebrow, grinning at your straightforward attitude.
”Depends, will food and hotel be included?”
“Yes, we’ll be staying at my parents' inn; they offered to host my friend's wedding. So food, money, and accommodations will be included. Plus, I’ll take care of your travel expenses.”
Gojo turned in his desk chair, biting his lip as he listened to your stern voice. “Okay, so it’s going to be ¥600,000. A lot of the cost goes to food and hotels. Since you’re taking care of it, you get a lovely discount, sweetheart.” A scoff sounded from his phone, making him smile even wider.
”Great, lucky me.”
Gojo bit his lip, chuckling. “Did you want any other additions?”
“If you’re asking if I want to include your other services, no. I don’t need sex.”
“Don’t need sex?” He perked up as Suguru, his roommate, peeked in, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?”
You gave the phone a confused look as if you were looking at Gojo yourself. “Yes, I’m dead serious.” The line went utterly silent before rich, stunned laughter filled your kitchen.
”Well shit, that’s a first!”
”Glad I could keep you on your toes, Gojo.”
”Nope.”
You blinked. “No, what?” Gojo snickered as you picked up your phone heading into your room.
”I’m going to be your boyfriend. You have a month, one month, to get used to saying my first name.” The seriousness of his tone made you stop in your tracks. “So it’s Satoru to you, Y/N.”
With a blush dusting your cheeks, you giggled, shaking your head. “Alright, that makes sense. Thank you, Satoru.”
”You’re welcome, Y/N. I’ll see you in a month.”
In one month, you were ¥600,000 poorer, and your nerves were shot as you searched for your fake boyfriend at the train station coffee shop. In the last month, you had spoken to Goj—Satoru twice over the. Once to book his services and yesterday to discuss where you were meeting. His company took care of everything else.
It was still surreal that you hired an escort to be your date, and you were waiting for a stranger at a coffee shop. This wasn't like you; it was so unbelievable. You sipped your coffee, looking around anxiously.
It was like a Greek God walked in. He was tall, like his profile said, over six-three. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes as his white fluffy hair bounced with every step. Straightening, you hesitated before lifting your hand and waving at your fake boyfriend. Seeing your arm raised, Gojo grinned, bounding forward as he pulled his sunglasses off.
“Hi! Are you Y/N?” You stood, swallowing as he still towered over you. God, he was dressed nice, all designer brand clothes. Which wasn't surprising with the amount of money you dropped to spend a week with him.
“Yes, I'm Y/L/N Y/N.” You handed him a cup of coffee that he took before sitting at the table. “Thank you again for doing this.”
Gojo grabbed six sugar packets, ripped them open, and poured all of them into his coffee. “Oh, you're welcome! I love seeing people happy.” Your eyes followed his hands as he poured cream into the coffee. “So, what's our story? That way, we're on the same page.” You couldn't help but smile as he sipped the sugary coffee with a grin.
“You have a sweet tooth?” Gojo hummed, taking another drink. “Maybe I'll make you something at the inn; I'm a pastry chef.” Gojo’s eyes went wide as you ran your fingers over the lid of your cup. “That’s a good story, we met at the bakery I wor—”
“You're a pastry chef?!” Gojo’s eyes sparkled. “Seriously?! What shop?!”
“Uhm, I work at Ichigo Cafe? It's in downtown Tokyo.”
“I love that place! The mochi there is the best!” His words had your cheeks burning your cheeks. “The cakes, the ice cream! Hell, the coffee is good too.”
You twirl your thumbs together. “Thank you, as the head chef, that makes me happy.” Satoru sat back, smiling sweetly. “So I uhm, yeah, that's a good story.”
“Yeah, it does. How long have we been together?”
The two of you settled on five months. That way, it was still pretty new. The whole time, Satoru nodded and added to your cover story. Thank god he was easy to talk to, putting your nerves at ear by the time your coffee was finished. Together, you were optimistic that you and Satoru could get through this week without a hiccup.
You both settled in on the train, getting to know each other more like favorite colors, foods, likes, and dislikes. Satoru didn't drink, had a major sweet tooth, and did his escorting gig full-time. He lived with his roommate and best friend, Geto Suguru, and he had a lot of free time.
You told him everything about yourself: likes, dislikes, favorite color, hell, even your blood type. But as the conversation began to dwindle, Satoru tilted his head. Sure, all that stuff was good now for the coming week, but he wanted to know more. Like why you hired him and why you ‘don’t do sex.’ That question had plagued his mind for the last month.
“Can I ask why you hired me?” His question had your head snapping up. “I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but you've been tense since we got on the train. There's more to this than just wanting a date to a wedding.”
“Uhh, is that obvious? I'm sorry. It's just my ex-fiance is at the wedding party with me.” Satoru paid close attention to how your eyes darkened as you looked out the window. “Our breakup was a shock since it happened a month before our wedding. So, I have all these trust issues, and I don't want to date anyone. Because it's easier not to get hurt if you don't put yourself out there.”
“Why did he break up with you?”
“Why didn't he?” The tone of your voice and words had Satoru peeking up. Not in curiosity but surprisingly in anger. Satoru had seen a lot of women and men in his days as an escort. Many are desperate, lonely, and want to have a good time. But whoever had broken your heart had hurt. You in more ways than one. “There were a lot of things that he uhm—listed off.”
You quickly changed the subject, much too fast for Satoru’s liking. But he wasn’t the type to pry, especially when it came to the feelings and comfort of his clients. So he let you change the subject. And the rest of the train ride to Kyoto, even up to your family's inn, the subject stayed clear of your ex. It was bad enough you’d be seeing him soon; you would much rather not talk about him before you saw his face.
You stood in front of the door to your family's inn. Satoru grabbed your hand, his fingers interlacing with yours as you took a deep breath. “Hey, we got this.” God, you hoped Satoru was right; this had to go perfectly.
Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, you stepped inside. The laughter and distant conversations echoed off the halls as wedding guests conversed and chatted while wandering around. You spotted your mother carrying a tray. She took one glance at you before looking away.
”Oh, Y/N darling, good you’re here. Whenever you get a chance, could you help me make some treats for afternoon tea? Everyone is instant with trying those matcha cookies you made last year.” After years of helping out, in the end, your body began to move on muscle memory, but Satoru stopped you, pulling you into his side with a grin.
“Hey, don’t just up and leave me. At least introduce me to your family first, sweetheart.” The bustling, noisy chatter around you stopped as your family and friends just seemed to notice the giant man standing beside you. His arm wrapped around your waist as he leaned down to kiss your temple. “My poor sweet girl is already in work mode. I thought this was supposed to be a vacation.”
”Right, of course, I’m sorry, Satoru. Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Gojo Satoru.”
”Eh!?”
Those sad, pitful reactions you had been so familiar with over the last year and a half were nowhere to be found on the faces of your loved ones. They were faces of shock, curiosity, and joy. A much better reaction, one that had you letting out a shaky breath you had no idea you were holding in. As you basked in relief, dark eyes watched the two of you, reading you.
The afternoon went off without a hitch. Satoru fit in with any conversation thrown his way. From what he did for a living to how the two of you met, he never stuttered or looked to you for help. He was exactly what you needed. With Gojo by your side, you knew you could get through this wedding without losing yourself in the darkness again.
You owed Haibara big time for this.
After the two of you answered several rounds of twenty questions and an early dinner, you and Satoru stepped into your room. You shut the door, sliding back against it as you shut your eyes. “Oh my gosh, that went much better than anticipated.” Satoru chuckled, setting both of your luggage off in the corner of the room.
“You did great.” His praise had you smiling more. “Seriously, this will be a walk in the park!”
You wanted to agree with him, but your mouth remained shut. That was just your family you met with. Things might be a different story when you face Toji. Because despite you not wanting him to, you knew he could read you like a book. He always could tell when you weren’t feeling the best or something was wrong. But maybe, if you keep playing your card right, you might be able to fool him, too.
”Yeah, a walk in the park.” You looked around the room, relieved to find the futon already laid out for you both. But it was missing the extra pillows you had asked for. The pillows that were going to be used to separate you and Satoru. “Huh, I thought my dad said the pillows would be here when we got to the room. I’ll be right back; the shower is just to the right if you want to wash up first.”
“Awesome, thanks a lot.”
As you reached for the door, the handle turned, startling you. Satoru moved so fast, his arms wrapping around you as the door opened wide. “Have you ever heard of knocking before? My girlfriend and I could have been doing something. If you saw that, I would have had to charge you for the show.” Satoru started as the door opened wide, revealing the person standing in front of it, four pillows in his arms.
”You seriously think I believe that?”
Your body went rigid as you stared into the dark eyes of the man who broke your heart. “T-Toji? What are you doing here?” You learned further back into Satoru’s chest, trying to put distance between the man that had stained your life.
“Bringing you your pillows.” He motioned his chin down at them to emphasize his words. “Look, we need to talk.”
Satoru could feel your breath quicken, your chest moving faster with each inhale you took. From your reaction, he could figure out just who exactly this asshole was. This dark-haired asshole who just barged into your room had to be the ex you didn’t want to talk about in any way, shape, or form. Looking at him, Satoru came to one conclusion without even knowing the guy. He was a fucking prick.
”Look, Toji, I’m exhausted. I don't want to talk right now.” You snatched the pillows away from him. “Satoru and I were going to get ready for bed. I require some TLC tonight.” You went to shut the door, but Toji placed his palm against it, preventing it from moving.
”Please, you and I both know this isn’t your boyfriend. I need to talk to you now. Tell your friend here he can fucking wait until our conversation is over.”
The tone and mere attitude of the prick in the door had Satoru seeing red. He released you, turning you to face him, glaring daggers at the man spewing toxic commands. “I’m not a friend.” Satoru spit out the last word. In a flash, his hand gripped your chin, turning you towards him. His other hand rested on the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss.
It was your first kiss in a year and a half, a kiss that was full of rage and passion like you had never experienced before. Satoru’s kiss was for show, but fuck, it had your knees buckling. You matched his pace, kissing him back urgently. His hands tangled in your hair while you fisted his shirt. You prayed that this mini-makeout session was enough to fool your ex. Satoru pulled away to glare at Toji. His chest rose and fell as he slowly licked his bottom lip with a smirk.
“My girlfriend and I were just getting ready to bed, if you caught the drift. If she wants to talk to you tomorrow, she’ll find you. Later.” Without another word, Satoru slammed the door in Toji’s face before turning to face you.
”Wow.” Was all you could manage to say as you ran your fingers over your lips. Seeing you do that while hearing your breathless voice had Satoru fifty shades of red. In his whole career as an escort, he has never lost his cool like that until he was with you.
Oh, he was fucked.
(TBC)
#escort!gojo#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk reader smut#jjk men#jjk reader insert#jjk gojo smut#jjk y/n#jjk#jjk au#reader jjk#jjk drabbles#jjk fluff#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x y/n#reader x gojo#gojo x y/n#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#gojo x you#gojo saturo#gojo fluff#satoru x reader#jujutsu satoru#reader x satoru#jjk satoru
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slowly realizing to my dismay, over the course of visiting friends and relatives, that within the last five years i have developed An Actual Anxiety Aversion To Hospitals :(((((
#about the possum#i am going later today For Love#and it will be fine. but i do hate them 😭#i am going to cure this by Buying Presents From The Gift Shop. this will 100% work. my brain is broken#ANYWAY!!!!!#i avoided going to see my dad when he was in the hospital for like. a full week and a half 😭#my mom was there literally every day but i only went once 😭😭😭#bc i feel BAD obv but i . FUCKINGE HATE IT THERE#however. HOWEVER!!!!! for my girl. i will go#(sobbing crying throwing up)#a;slkdfjasdf#delete later#...idk how to tag this
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𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 .
⟣ sypnosis. a nightmare of your lover’s disappearance wakes you from your sleep.
⟣ tags. gojo satoru x female reader. angst, comfort, fluff. takes place after gojo’s unsealed but before dec 24th, bits of spoilers jjk leaks 236 at the end. mentions of death, blood.
⟣ note. based on it’s happening again by agnes obel. coping rn dhmu . . . not proofread bcs i cant read through my tears anyways hope u enjoy im gonna cry myself to sleep now
everyone has to die at one point — not even the strongest of all could avoid that tragical fate. not even the strongest sorcerer you call your lover.
no, not even him. the universe couldn’t spare him. you thought that maybe, it would. maybe fate wouldn’t apply to him. oh, how wrong you were.
blood splatter—a stream of red liquid. right at your feet. right in front of your eyes. a man in half. and not just any regular man;
“satoru !”
your dark surroundings become blurry with tears, your body jolts out of its current dreaming state. you could feel your heart in your chest—in your throat. your brain shut itself off for a few seconds as your eyes try to make out shapes and figures in the room you’re in. your bedroom.
you only then realises that it was all just a gruesome nightmare. a hyperrealistic one at that; one that will haunt you for years.
“hmmh.. ‘m right here, baby.” a groggy voice next to you replies to your yell in agony. the yell that was the shape of your lover’s name leaving your lips—
you instantly turn your head to the right and there he was; the man whom just met death in your dreams. gojo satoru, all alive and well. in your bed, in your presence, in your life.
satoru’s hand aimlessly pats the space next to him in search of your body whilst he rubbed his eyes with the other, trying to adjust his sight to the dark so he could find you. you seemed to be in complete distress. which he does not like.
“it’s okay, shh, shh,” your lover hums, hand finally finding your arm. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you on top of him—your head laying on his chest.
his body was warm. his heartbeat was there. loud and clear in your right ear.
“satoru. . .” a river of tears flows down your cheeks like a dam that has been broken into. your body trembles, lungs feeling like they couldn’t get any air in them from how hard you were sobbing. the pain of losing your loved one; it all came flowing back to you.
satoru frowns, “hey, hey. look at me — sweetheart, c’mon.”
he instantly sits up and pulls you along with him. his hands find your cheeks, tilting your head up. this time it was his turn to feel his heart break in pieces. you looked absolutely distraught. as if you just went through a traumatic experience of some kind. he hated it.
“shit,” satoru mutters under his breath before pulling you into his embrace again, arms circling your waist with his head buried in the crook of your neck, “it’s okay, i’m here now. you’re safe.”
it wasn’t the first time you had nightmares when he was with you. you had them regularly after satoru had gotten sealed in the prison realm for nineteen days—nineteen days of dread for you. of an empty bed, an empty house and an empty life.
when satoru had finally been released from the prison realm it was like a dream come true. a happy dream, that is. not those repetitive, bad ones you have every now and then. you still get those nightmares of your lover being either taken away from you by force or by death itself. your brain couldn’t give you a break — even after his return.
“take a deep breath in,” satoru instructs and sets an example by doing the breathing exercise with you, “hold it for three seconds . . . breathe out for six. mhmm, good—jus’ like that.”
you repeat it a couple more times, sobbing and shaking throughout the entirety of the exercise, but eventually manage to calm down a little. satoru sighs in relief at this;
“you okay, baby?”
you nod weakly and sniff, wanting nothing more than to be held by the man you thought had vanished from your life forever. you had that scare once, when he was sealed, and you never want to go back to those dark times. ever.
“it’s— i, just—“ you hiccup once, unable to complete entire sentences, “i thought you w-were gone. i thought you had died.”
it was silent after that (except for the sound your silent sobs and sniffles). satoru had guessed by now that you saw him die in your dream — that much was pretty obvious. but, the thought that you were this distressed because of it makes him. . . happy in a way.
happy that someone would mourn over him at least.
“well,” satoru pensively replies, hands rubbing your back up and down soothingly, “everyone has to meet their end one day, you know?”
that sentence was one that was meant to lighten up the grim mood somehow. one of his many lighthearted remarks that were supposed distract you from your tears. it would work during other moments like these — were you’d be too baffled by the things satoru says to care about what you were crying for — yet today it only worsens your misery.
“shut up.” you weakly punch his chest to which the white haired male chuckles softly, his slender fingers instantly interlocking with yours. satoru’s thumb brushes against your wrist before pulling it up to his lips, placing ticklish kisses among your skin.
another silence hangs in the air.
“seriously though. . . if i were to somehow die, i’d want you to live and move on, yeah?” your lover whispers in such a quiet tone that it was almost inaudible. satoru had looked death right in the eye before — he didn’t care back then if it were actually his end.
he does now. he has the world to lose — his world — his everything. you.
satoru wants to live a happy life with you. he doesn’t want to die now that he has you. the love of his life which he wants to grow old with. maybe have kids with. start an own family away from the busy streets, away from the swarming curses in the city and away from all that sorcerer stuff. it was a nice dream.
“shut it!” you huff and satoru takes another weak punch to the chest. his gaze lands upon your tear struck face and he instantly drops the serious ‘act’.
the sorcerer laughs, his usual boyish laugh that makes you feel better, and he flips you both over so that he has you pinned underneath him. satoru grins before kissing your tummy all over, making you giggle from the ticklish feeling;
“i’m playin’, baby! i’m not going anywhereeee!” he promises through wet pecks against your skin, the smile on his evident even if you couldn’t see it — you could hear it in his voice.
satoru leaves your tummy and moves on to your neck and face. he was smothering you in affection in hopes you’d cheer up some way. he just wants you to forget about anything bad happening to him. you didn’t deserve to think about all that stuff — you deserve to be happy and full of joy.
even without him one day.
“i’d never leave my princess all alone.” satoru shakes his head and pouts dramatically, “who else is gonna spoil you? or kiss and cuddle you to bed, huh?”
you finally show an ounce of joy. a tiny smile. that was all satoru had needed to see. he wasn’t going to stop there, however. his goal was to turn that small smile into a full blown fit of laughter.
“i’m one of a kind, baby. you’re never gonna meet a man like me.” he continues with a proud grin, putting all of his body weight on top of you which causes you to groan and grumble a lighthearted complain.
satoru knows you like it whenever he clings to you and thus he uses that piece of knowledge to help you feel better. his head was buried into your shoulder, limbs enveloping your body like a koala.
“whatever.” you roll your eyes and snuggle up to your lover, closing your eyes as the tiredness hits your body after all that crying.
“whatever !” satoru mocks you in a high-pitched tone, followed by a pair of giggles from the two of you. a third and final punch to the chest finally shuts him up for the rest of the night.
the sorcerer made sure you had fallen asleep first before he whispered the next words in your ear, hoping they’d calm your mind and body so that no nightmares would ever bother you again;
“don’t you worry, sweets. i’m not leaving you. ever.”
. . .
those were the same exact words satoru wished he could utter to you one last time before the current date — 24th of december.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fic#jjk fluff#jjk angst#gojo x you#jjk x you#gojo angst#jjk comfort#jjk spoilers
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@iamanoccasionaldoodler
Okay so,
There seems to be this negative reaction to the finale from a lot of Devil's Minion fans and I don't understand it for a lot of reasons, but one of them is ... I don't get why people are upset that, when read at it's worst, Armand and Daniel are seemingly not on good terms after Daniel is turned. I keep seeing this belief that Armand "abandoned" him, which I think is fully pulled from y'alls collective ass, and a disappointment that Daniel would call Armand a "fucking asshole."
But the thing about Armand/Daniel everyone seems to be forgetting is that even in the source material, they first had to tear each other down to their bare bones before they could see each other well enough to love one another -- REALLY love one another. Because Armand is a russian nesting doll of lies, masks, and emotional walls, and with Daniel, idek if I can explain it properly, but I think its some combination of Armand needing to break him a bit to get him on his level of broken freakitude, and also Armand not being able to relate to the 20th Century Human period and needing to drill down into Daniel's core, straight down into the monkey brain that every homo sapien has shared for eons, before he can find something he understands.
If we were to ever get a proper Devil's Minion storyline on this show (and we will), they've laid the perfect groundwork by having Daniel EVISCERATE Armand right to his face, slicing his Gorgon's knot of lies and schemes in half and leaving it lay on that table. And Armand's face! HIS FACE! He can't believe it! Seventy-seven years with Louis who never could unravel all the strings, or simply didn't care to even bother. And THIS guy who seemingly hates him found Armand fascinating enough to try. AND succeed!
And why wouldn't he? Daniel may not have remembered until they were nearing the end of the interview, but Armand SHOWED Daniel what was beneath the mask years ago, the very first time they met. The jealous, insecure, desperate creature that was hiding under there, that IS Armand to Daniel.
I'm getting off track here, but what I'm trying to say is that as much as Armand turning Daniel in the books is SUCH a flawless scene, ultimately, if you believe in the infinite and eternal nature of their love story, it doesn't matter whether Armand turned Daniel before they fell for each other, afterward, during a break-up or at the climax of their most romantic streak. Like Lestat said, "We'll be together ten thousand nights, a hundred thousand. What we're doing is hard."
So maybe Armand turned Daniel shortly after Daniel stripped him bare in front of Louis, and Louis was so disgusted by what he saw, he threw him into a stone wall. Daniel could have run, too. For some reason, he didnt. Armand could have killed him in an instant, sitting at that table or after Louis left. He didn't. Armand made a conscious decision to tie himself to this man who just exposed him for ETERNITY. Because as horrific an experience as it was, as devastating and life-altering, he was seen.
"It is difficult to explain how his words disarmed me, how efficiently succinct and impenetrable his argument was. All my conceptions, even my guilt and my wish to die, seemed utterly unimportant, and I completely forgot myself and the barbaric scene that surrounded me. For the first time in my life, I was seen."
Louis said those words about Lestat as he described being made a vampire, when he kissed Lestat on the altar.
That feeling, of someone cutting to the core of you and telling you exactly what you are as no one else has ever been able to understand, made Louis accept the Dark Gift from Lestat.
And it made Armand give that Gift to Daniel.
#iwtv meta#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#the devil's minion#devil's minion#devils minion#the devils minion#the vampire armand#armand#daniel molloy#the vampire daniel#armandaniel
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This one was inspired by this post by @suiana <3
Yandere Beauty x Beast Reader
M yan x GN reader
TW - obsessive behavior, mass murder, maybe mild stalking(?), people are meanies
You've grown so tired of this life, but it was all you knew. You've been trapped like this for years with nothing but your own rage to accompany you. Many of the once priceless paintings in your palace were now destroyed. It didn't matter. No one remembered this place. No one remembered you.
And it would stay that way until you die.
Every now and then some adventurers or travellers would find your palace, hoping for a place to stay the night, only to run away in fear. They'd rather take their chances with the wolves than with such a terrifying beast.
You expected another one of those interactions when you heard a knock at the doors. Some didn't even have that much decency. You weren't expecting such a beautiful man to he the one at your door. Nor were you expecting him to get down on one knee and ask to be your husband.
"You are the most stunning creature I've ever seen...please, allow me the honor of marrying you!" Of all things, did he have to call you a creature? You were technically a person! At least, you were a long time ago.
Not wanting to go through with whatever he could possibly be planning, you slammed the door in his face with a firm "No." He was probably trying to make a fool of you, or perhaps even kill you. Even though you hated this life, you didn't want to die. Not quite yet
How you wished that was the end of it.
He started sleeping outside the door of your palace, insisting on marriage if he ever saw you. Whether you we stepping out on the balcony, looking out a window, or tending to the garden he'd beg for your hand in marriage.
Even though his appearance became disheveled after the many days he spent outside your palace, he was still more beautiful than any woman you met as a human. Such a beautiful man surely had plenty of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes lined up at his own door, so why did he insist on a life with you? A life of solitude and silence. A life without a single friend. Even your servants were long gone. Broken mirrors, dusty furniture, spiders and bugs infesting the least visited corners, was that really a l8fe to beg for?
You finally got agitated at all his begging and pleading, of all the surely empty promises. As he followed you through your garden on day, you lost it. You turned back and gripped him firmly by the jaw, smooshing his rosy cheeks together as you demanded an explanation.
"You're amazing, your majesty! You're my greatest dream." He admit, a deep blush growing on his cheeks as your grip tightened. "I'll admit, I wasn't planning to propose, so I failed to bring you a proper ring. But I came out here, curious if the rumors were true...and the second I laid eyes on you, I was in love!"
It sounded more ignorant than you expected.
"I fell to my knees once I beheld you. You were too perfect for me to handle, and I knew it was a sign that I had to marry you!"
You really didn't know what to say. Was this guy all beauty and no brains? You didn't realize those kinds of people really existed.
You dropped him, firmly telling him to get lost and marry someone else. Someone better. But he instantly feel to his knees, gripping your legs and begging with tears in his eyes.
"Please! At least give me a chance, my love!" You never realized someone could be so pathetic.
You dragged him away. First you tried tossing him off the palace grounds, but he came crawling back. Then you dropped him half way through the forest. Again, he refused to leave your side. So you left him the last place you wanted to go.
You dragged him all the way back to the village, and instantly received the backlash you expected. You tossed him to the crowd, and they instantly took him. And as for you? They threw rocks, rotten food, and whatever else they could easily throw. The assault lasted until you were out of their sight.
At least now you could continue your days in peace.
Oh, you thought. You wished, you prayed. Your peace didn't even last a day.
That night, when you went out to you balcony to stare into the night, an unfamiliar sight caught your eye. The bright light of a fire. A large fire, consuming everything in its path. A horrible fire, turning the village to dust.
You gripped your balcony, crushing the metal of the railing. What were you to do? The villagers hated you. They loathed your very existence. They didn't remember you as you once were, only the beast you were today.
You were still supposed to be their ruler.
They were still your people.
You had to protect your people.
Without another second of hesitation you rushed out of your palace and through the forest. Only to find one person on the path there. The beautiful man you gave back to them earlier.
"I got rid of them for you, darling. Those barbarians didn't see how absolutely beautiful you are, and they can't keep us apart any more." He knealt down on one knee, pulling out a black box and revealing a stunning ring.
"Now let me do this properly...will you marry me?"
I WAS INSPIRED, OKAY? I know I have requests to get to 😭
#blarsh writes#yandere x reader#yandere#x reader#male yandere#yandere x you#male x reader#yandere x darling#male yandere x reader#male yandere x you#gn reader#gender neutral reader
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Hello! I absolutely adore your writing, I’ve binged like all of your fics 😂. If possible could you do maybe a poly!moonwater x reader where said reader maybe gets hurt (maybe someone says something negative about Remus and she gets hurt defending him?) I just absolutely adore your moonwater fics! And when Barty gets involved is hilarious. thank you so much! No pressure if you don’t feel the Inspo for it!
I've not written for moonwater in a while, so this was a sweet treat! thanks for your request, lovie <3
poly!moonwater x gn!reader who defends Remus' honour
CW: Snape's a wanker in this and we hand his ass to him for it [sorry to my Snape apologists out there - don't hate me!], alluding to blood but no actual mention of it? small injury to hand, Regulus sharing Sirius' DNA trait for mischief
You sucked in a pained breath through your teeth which was quickly replicated by your boyfriend in some sort of weird comradery.
“I know, I know; I’m sorry dove.” Remus murmured softly as he continued dabbing gently at the broken skin on your knuckles.
“S’not your fault.” You mumbled petulantly as you tried to ignore the stinging of every swipe he made; the once pristine white cloth now quite decorated in red.
Remus snorted as he eyed you pointedly before affixing his gaze back to your hands. “It sounds as if it sort of was.”
It was your turn to snort as you glared at the wall behind Remus as if it had been the one making derogatory comments in the halls a mere ten minutes ago. “You’re not the wanker who was begging to be punched.”
Remus shook his head in admonishment, but you could feel the [painful] puffs of air dancing across your open wounds as he breathed out a laugh. “He’s going to be furious, you know?”
Remus didn’t clarify who he was, but he didn’t need to. “Yeah well, if you would bloody hurry up and cast an episkey on this already, he’d never have to know.” You taunted only half teasingly [and half very nervously about how long it was taking to close up the few scrapes lining your hands from your minor scuffle].
Unfortunately, he walked in through the door before Remus had finished patching you up.
“What in the bloody hells is this I’m hearing about a brawl between you and Snape?” Regulus demanded with a stoney face as he stalked towards your form; face falling as your hands came into his view.
“Amour! What in Salazar’s name- On dirait que tu as combattu un nundu.”
“Okay, well, I think that’s a little dramatic.” You deflected quickly at the insinuation that you walked away from a fight with a nundu with nothing but a few cuts and scrapes to your knuckles to show for it.
“Dramatic?” Regulus drawled as he levelled you with an unimpressed look. “I’m not the one who jumped another student in the hallways after Potions! And Snape of all people; you know to ignore his usual drivel, amour.”
You shared a guilty look with Remus who gave you a sad smile.
“It wasn’t the usual drivel, Reg.” Remus offered, causing Regulus’ breath to leave him which he had at the ready, no doubt, to continue his admonishment.
“I didn’t think that sod had the brain cells left to come up with anything new.” He offered noncommittally, causing Remus to snort a laugh. “Still, sweetheart; I’d really prefer you just ignore him.”
“So I’m just supposed to ignore a tosser who has the audacity to speak about my, quote, half-blood half-breed freak and his blood-traitor servants who he no doubt imperio’d to be with him?” You challenged; tone both soft yet firm as you looked at Regulus imploringly.
Regulus stood there staring back at you before you noticed his jaw tighten. “Bâtard.” He spat as he looked down to where Remus was sitting on a footstool in front of you as he finished wrapping your hands.
“He’s just jealous that he can’t find one person to put up with his black hair and brooding personality, let alone two.”
“Did Regulus Black just make…not only a joke, but a joke at his own expense?” You teased as you kicked one of your feet out at him, only for him to catch you by the ankle and run his thumb over your ankle bone.
“Of course I did; I’m hilarious.” Regulus agreed in monotone causing both you and Remus to chuckle.
“You’re all fixed up, dovey.” Remus announced as he stood, bending to press a kiss on your head before pressing one to Regulus’ too. “No more fights at my expense, okay?”
“Can I fight at Regulus’ expense?”
“No.” Both boys chorused, though Remus pointed at himself as he nodded and mouthed “tell me first”.
“So, where can I find Snape now?” Regulus asked as he dropped your ankle, earning him unimpressed looks from both of you. “What? I’m not going to go find him, I just need to tell Barty where he can find him.”
“Junior doesn’t give a niffler’s arse about what Snape has to say about me, Reggie.” Remus admonished as he leaned against the headboard of his four poster bed.
“Perhaps not.” Regulus agreed readily before his gaze moved to meet yours; the horrifying glimmer of mischief present in his icy grey eyes sending shivers down your spine. “But he will care to know that his precious Treasure lost blood over that foul git.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” You hissed.
But Regulus had already turned on his heel and was rushing out of the marauder’s dorm room; as you stood to chase him, two arms wrapped an iron grip around your middle and pulled you flush to his chest.
“No more fights, dovey.” Remus murmured into your neck as he pulled you back into his bed with him.
“I’d only be fighting our sodding boyfriend! You know I’d win!” You whined petulantly, though your body traitorously melted into Remus’ frame as he nuzzled impossibly further into your neck.
“No more fighting.” He repeated.
So you acquiesced; you stopped fighting and fully allowed yourself to be cuddled by your half-blood half-breed boyfriend that you were so unbelievably and willingly in love with.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#regulus black#regulus black x reader#regulus black x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x regulus black#moonwater#poly!moonwater#poly!moonwater x reader#poly!moonwater x you#moonseeker#poly!moonseeker#poly!moonseeker x reader#poly!moonseeker x you#Snape bashing#barty gate#best friend!barty#moonwater fluff#poly!moonwater fluff
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Nika Mühl X Reader
The Road to Recovery
The glow of your phone screen flickered to life, casting a soft light across your apartment as you worked late into the evening. It was just a routine for you to scroll through notifications, expecting nothing out of the ordinary. But then, the headline hit you like a punch to the chest.
“Nika Mühl Suffers Knee Injury During Game in Turkey: Suspected ACL Tear.”
Your heart sank.
Everything else faded as you clicked on the news story. The knot in your stomach tightened as you read through the details. Nika, your Nika, had gone down during the second half of a game while making a fast break. She was clutching her knee, writhing on the court in visible pain. The arena was silent and you could hear her gut wrenching screams. The rest was a blur, but you caught the words “immediate medical attention” and “serious injury.” Your heart began to race, a cold sweat forming on your brow.
Without thinking, your fingers moved faster than your brain, dialing her number. It rang once, twice… then straight to voicemail. Panic crept up your spine, your mind racing with images of her on the court, in pain, alone in a country far from you, from home.
“Nika… please, pick up…” you muttered under your breath, pacing around the small living room. You dial again. Still nothing.
A thousand thoughts ran through your head, each one worse than the last. She had worked so hard to get here, to earn her spot on the Turkish team during the off-season, wanting more practice and a chance to start. And now, just like that, everything she’d fought for was slipping away. Your chest tightened as you hit redial again, the ringing taunting you as it went unanswered once more.
You tried to steady yourself, focusing on your breathing, but the panic was overwhelming. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the call connected, and for a moment, there was only silence.
“Nika?” you asked, barely above a whisper.
All you could hear were her soft, broken sobs on the other end of the line. The sound of it shattered something inside of you.
“Baby… talk to me,” you pleaded gently, trying to keep your voice steady even though your heart was racing.
Her breathing was shaky, and she couldn’t seem to get the words out. Finally, she choked out, “It’s over… it’s all over. My knee… I….I can’t believe this is happening…”
Her voice was fragile, barely recognizable through her tears. The weight of it hit you like a wave, and you struggled to hold yourself together, not wanting to break down too. She was devastated, and it was killing you to hear her like this. To hear how shattered she was, especially after everything she had been working for.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” you whispered, tears stinging your eyes. “I should be there. I wish I could be there right now.”
She cried harder, her sobs raw and unrestrained. “This was supposed to be my chance,” she said, voice cracking with the pain of it all. “I was finally getting to start… and now, it’s all gone. What if I never…..” She trails off, not finishing the sentence.
You clenched your jaw, feeling helpless, thousands of miles away. You hated that you couldn’t reach through the phone and hold her. She was breaking, and you couldn’t fix it from here. The idea of her being in pain, alone in a foreign country, only made the ache in your chest worse.
“I’m coming, okay?” you said, the words coming out firmer than you expected. “I’m going to be there. I’m going to get the next flight out. You’re not going through this alone. I’ll be there soon.”
“N-no… you don’t have to,” she mumbled through her tears, but you could hear how desperately she needed you. How lost she felt.
“I need to,” you insisted, your voice shaking. “I love you, Nika. I’m coming baby.”
You booked the flight as quickly as you could, barely able to think straight as you threw clothes into a bag. The flight to Istanbul felt like it took an eternity, every hour dragging on with the weight of what you’d heard over the phone. You couldn’t stop replaying her words, her sobs, the sound of her falling apart on the other end of the line. All you wanted was to get to her, to hold her, to somehow make this better.
When you finally arrived at the hospital, exhaustion weighed down on you, but your worry for Nika fueled you to keep going. As you rushed through the hallways, your heart pounded in your chest. The weight of the hospital door felt heavier than you ever imagined as you pushed it open, stepping into Nika’s room. The sterile scent of antiseptic filled the air, but you barely noticed. Your eyes went straight to her, your heart breaking all over again at the sight.
Nika was sitting up in bed, her leg elevated, wrapped tightly in a bulky brace. Her face was pale, her usually bright, confident eyes now red and puffy from crying. The sight of her like this, so fragile, so unlike the strong, fierce woman you’d always known, nearly brought you to tears. The Nika you knew was always in motion, always pushing, fighting through anything in her way. She looked like the weight of the world had finally crushed her spirit.
She hadn’t seen you yet, her gaze distant, lost somewhere between sadness and disbelief. When she finally looked up, her lips trembled, and fresh tears welled up in her eyes.
In an instant, you were at her side, crossing the room as if time didn’t exist, your arms wrapping around her with a softness that mirrored the fragility of the moment. She collapsed into your embrace, her sobs breaking the silence, her face buried into your chest as she clung to you, shaking.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” you whispered, your voice cracking, the overwhelming guilt and helplessness crashing over you. “I’m so, so sorry.” You pressed a kiss to the top of her head, tears stinging your own eyes. “But I’m here now.”
For a long time, she just cried, her body trembling against yours as she let everything out. You held her as tightly as you could, your own heart breaking into a thousand pieces as you listened to her pain. Nika was never one to cry easily she was tough, resilient. But in this moment, all of her walls had crumbled.
“They said it’s my ACL,” she whispered hoarsely after a while, her voice barely audible. “I tore it, surgery’s tomorrow.”
The words cut through you, and you swallowed hard, trying to keep your own emotions in check. ACL injuries were serious. They took months to heal, sometimes even longer to fully recover from, if you could recover fully at all. For an athlete like Nika, whose entire career depended on her body’s ability to move with speed and agility, this wasn’t just a setback. It was a nightmare.
You pulled back slightly, cupping her face with both hands, wiping away her tears with your thumbs as you looked into her eyes. “I know it feels like everything’s falling apart right now,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “But we’re going to get through this, together. I promise.”
Her lips trembled as fresh tears formed in her eyes. “But what if I can’t come back from this?” she whispered, her voice breaking. “What if I’m never the same? I was just starting… I was finally getting to prove myself, and now…” Her voice trailed off into a sob, unable to continue, her shoulders shaking.
You rested your forehead against hers, closing your eyes, your heart aching at the rawness in her voice. “You will come back from this baby,” you whispered, your voice filled with every ounce of pure belief you had in her. “I know it seems impossible right now, but you are the strongest person I know, Nika. Stronger than anyone. This won’t break you. I know it won’t. And I’ll be with you every step of the way, no matter how long it takes.”
She sniffled, her breath shaky, but there was a slight flicker of hope, in her eyes. “You really believe that?” she asked, her voice soft, almost childlike.
You kissed her forehead gently, brushing away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “I don’t just believe it,” you whispered, your voice steady and full of sincerity. “I know it. You’ve never let anything stop you before, and this won’t either. I know you like the back of my hand, sweet girl. You’re not alone in this. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
The next morning, you stayed by her side as the nurses prepared her for surgery. You could see the fear in her eyes, the way her hands trembled as she fidgeted with the edge of her hospital gown. Your heart ached watching her try to be brave when you knew how terrified she really was. You reached out, taking her hand in yours, squeezing it gently.
“It’s going to be okay,” you murmured, leaning in close so only she could hear. “You’re my strong girl. You’ve got this.”
She gave you a weak smile, though you could see the fear still there behind her eyes. “I’m just scared,” she whispered, her voice wavering.
“I know,” you said softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “But it’s okay to be scared. You don’t have to be brave all the time baby. I’m scared too. But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. When you wake up, I’ll be right here. I promise.”
Just before they wheeled her away, Nika squeezed your hand tightly, her eyes locking with yours. “I love you,” she whispered, and kissed your hand. Her voice stiff with emotion.
“I love you more than anything,” you said, your voice thick as you kissed her long and hard. “So much. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
The hours dragged on as you waited in the sterile hospital waiting room, pacing back and forth, your mind racing with all the possibilities, all the unknowns. What if something went wrong in surgery? What if the recovery was harder than anyone expected? What if she couldn’t come back the way she wanted to? Every fear, every doubt weighed heavily on your mind. You kept telling yourself that Nika was strong. She always had been. She would fight through this she had to. And you would be there, every step of the way.
When the surgeon finally came out, your breath caught in your throat as you braced yourself for the news.
“The surgery went well,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Her ACL was fully repaired. It’s going to be a long recovery, but with physical therapy and the right support, she has a very good chance of making a full recovery.”
Relief washed over you so intensely that you had to sit down, the weight of the last few days finally catching up to you. You felt like you could breathe for the first time in what felt like forever.
When they finally let you see her, she was groggy from the anesthesia, her eyelids heavy as she blinked slowly, trying to focus on you. Her leg was wrapped tightly, elevated on pillows. She looked exhausted, but she managed a small, sleepy smile when she saw you.
“Hey,” you whispered, sitting beside her and taking her hand in yours. “You did it.”
She blinked up at you, her eyes heavy, but she smiled weakly. “You’re still here,” she mumbled, her voice soft, slurred from the meds.
“I told you I would be,” you said, squeezing her hand gently. “I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”
Her eyes welled up with tears again, but this time, they were softer, less filled with fear and more with gratitude. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“You’ll never have to find out,” you promised, brushing your thumb across the back of her hand. “I’m going to help you through this. Every step. Every bad day, every victory. I’ll be right here, cheering you on, holding you when you need it. You’re going to come back stronger than ever, and I’ll be with you the whole time.”
Her eyes fluttered closed again, her grip on your hand tightening slightly as she drifted off into sleep. And as you sat there, watching her rest, you knew that the road ahead would be long and difficult. There would be days when she felt like giving up, days when the pain and frustration would seem unbearable. But you would be there for all of it. You’d be her strength when she felt weak, her hope when she felt lost. And no matter how hard the recovery was, you knew that together, you could get through anything.
In the months that followed, the recovery process was as grueling as you had expected. Physical therapy was long and painful, and there were days when Nika broke down in frustration, angry at her body for betraying her. She’s always been hard on herself. But you were there for all of it. You were by her side at every appointment, helping her through every exercise, every setback, every step forward.
“You’re doing amazing,” you’d tell her, even when she doubted herself, even when the progress felt too slow.
“I don’t feel amazing,” she would huff out “But I wouldn’t be able to do this without you,” she’d say on the hardest days, her voice filled with both exhaustion and gratitude.
But you never let her give up. And slowly, bit by bit, you started to see that fire in her eyes again, the determination returning, the strength you always knew she had. She was getting better. She was coming back.
#nika muhl x reader#nika x reader#nika muhl#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#uconn wbb#ncaa wbb#ncaa women’s basketball#wbb#wbb x reader#iowa wbb#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark#caitlin x reader#paige x reader#paige buckets#paige bueckers x reader#seattle storm#kate martin x reader#kate x reader
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Finally // beautiful stranger
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~2.2k (including lyrics)
Warnings: angst, mostly fluff
Summary: You’ve got your heart broken once and you refuse to do it again. When a tall, green-eyed stranger walks into your life, you have to make sure he’s going to stay before letting him in completely.
Square Filled: finally // beautiful stranger by halsey (2020) for @spnsongchallengebingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
x
Your eyes, so crisp, so green Sour apple baby, but you taste so sweet You got hips like Jagger and two left feet And I wonder if you'd like to meet
The only twenty-four-hour diner is across town from where you live but you find yourself in it anyway. The place isn’t busy considering it’s nearing one in the morning but you don’t want to go home. If you do, you’ll think about him and you really don’t want to cry yourself to sleep. At last here, you can compose yourself not to cry in front of people.
That, and you’re always hungry after getting your heart broken.
“Let me top your coffee off,” the waitress says and fills your cup again.
“I want another round, please. Bourbon. Neat.”
“Sure.”
When the waitress leaves, you finally notice the two men on the other side of the diner. One has his back to you but the other one is facing toward you and by God, this man is gorgeous. Even from where you’re sitting, you can see his crisp green eyes. Like candy apples. The sight makes you sad. Your ex was just as beautiful, and here you are eating your sorrows away. You look down and take a bite of your pie with a sniffle. The waitress comes back with your Bourbon, and you take a big gulp of it.
The green-eyed man says something to his friend before walking over to you.
“Are you okay?”
You down the rest of the Bourbon even though it burns. “What makes you think I’m not?”
“You’re crying.”
“Yeah, because of pig-headed men. I hate men,” you scoff and take another bite of your pie.
He chuckles not at you but at your comment. “Can I sit?”
“Sure. Want some of my pie? Alcohol fills me up and I won’t be able to eat this all.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” He takes your fork and scoops some pie onto it before eating it. “My name is Dean.”
“I hope you treat your lady better than my man did, Dean.”
“I don’t have a lady but if I did, I would.” You nod and take the fork back for another bite. “Want me to beat him up?”
Maybe it’s your drunken brain or maybe it was genuinely funny, but you laugh at the thought of your ex getting beat by some stranger.
“You might not be able to take him on. He’s pretty big.”
“You clearly have no idea who I am, sweetheart. I’ll get my brother to help.” You giggle and bite your lower lip to stop your grin from spreading too wide. “What a shame.”
“What?”
“I know I shouldn’t be hitting on you but that guy doesn’t know what he gave up.”
“What do you mean?”
“He had a woman with the most gorgeous smile. If you were mine, I’d never want to stop seeing it.”
You smile again, this time, a shy one. It makes you sad because all beautiful men are like this.
Your voice is velvet through a telephone You can come to mine, but both my roommates are home Think I know a bar where they would leave us alone And I wonder if you'd take it slow
You and Dean kept in touch after meeting him half-drunk and crying over another man, and you’re kind of nervous to let him in more. You have a daughter who you love dearly, and bringing in strangers isn’t something you want to do to her. You don’t want her getting to know someone, bond with him, only for him to leave. Her father didn't want her so how can you expect anyone else to stay?
You and Dean hang when you can, when you have someone else to watch her, but finding a sitter is hard enough as it is. You don’t make a lot of money because you depended on your ex-boyfriend for everything. You didn’t have to work when he paid for everything. You’re trying your best even if it doesn’t feel like it.
“It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice,” Dean says over the phone.
His voice is so velvety smooth that it makes you get butterflies from words alone.
“Sorry, I’ve been a bit busy. It’s been hard to get away.”
“I get it. Look, I have some free time now. I’d like to see you.”
You think of Amelia and how you can’t leave her here alone. She’s only six, she needs someone to watch her.
“I’d love to, Dean, but I have a daughter here that I can’t leave alone. I can’t afford a sitter right now otherwise I’d say yes.”
“Right. Of course, I understand.”
He sounds disappointed. You bite your lower lip in thought. Your sister lives a few houses down from you. If she says yes, you can leave and hang with Dean at a bar or something. You don’t want him coming here. As much as you like him, you’re not ready for Amelia to meet him.
“Let me ask my sister if she can watch her. I’ll text you if I can or not.”
“If you can, I’ll be at Joe’s. I hope to see you there.”
You immediately dial your sister because it’s a lot harder for her to say no to you over the phone rather than text.
“Hey, Y/N.”
“Okay, don’t say no right away. Just listen to me.”
“You want me to watch Amelia?”
“Just for a little bit. Maybe a couple of hours. I met this guy. His name is Dean.” You hear her sigh which makes you pause. You know this sigh. It’s a disappointed sigh. ��Jess, it’s not what you think.”
“You just broke up with Trevor how long ago? You already met someone?”
“It’s not like I’m going to marry him. I just… I can’t explain it. He’s nice…”
“Trevor was nice.”
“Jess, please? Just a couple of hours. I’ll pay you if you want.”
“No, you don’t need to do that,” she sighs. “Fine, I’ll watch her only for two hours.”
“You got it. Thank you.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing. I’d hate to see you hurt over yet another guy.”
Trust me, me too. After she comes over, Amelia is happy to see her aunt. Joe’s is only ten minutes from your place, and you text Dean you’ll be right there. He’s in the back playing with darts when you arrive, and you head over with a smile.
“I’m glad you could make it.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“So, you have a daughter?”
“Yeah, her name is Amelia. She’s my pride and joy. My ex was her father, and you know that didn’t end too well. I’d have you come over but I don’t want her meeting someone still so new, you know?”
“Yeah. I get it. Trust me.”
“I like you, Dean. I just need to take it slow.”
“Whatever you need to feel safe.”
Just like that, you fall for him a bit more.
I grab your hand and then we run to the car Singin' in the street and playin' air guitar Stuck between my teeth just like a candy bar And I wonder if it goes too far to say
After two months of dating, you decide it’s best if he gets to meet Amelia. You’re not sure if it’s going to crash and burn or work out but you have to put faith in this decision. Dean has been nothing but good to you, so you’re taking the chance he’ll love your daughter. Amelia knows you’ve been seeing someone. She’s not stupid. She’s a very smart six-year-old--too smart for her own good.
“Dean is almost here.”
“Do you like him, Mommy?”
“I do,” you smile.
Amelia shrugs and goes back to coloring. Dean shows up in his gorgeous Impala that you love riding in. He even let you drive it once which was thrilling. You leave Amelia coloring in the living room to greet Dean at the door. He keeps the kiss short and sweet knowing your daughter is here. You turn to let him in when you see your daughter standing right behind you with her hands on her hips.
“Hi, you must be Amelia. My name is--”
“Are you gonna break my Mommy’s heart like Daddy did?”
You’re taken aback by the question. Dean doesn’t seem scared by her sass, in fact, he encourages it.
“No, I won’t.”
“You better not, mister. I know how to fight.” Dean can’t help but laugh. “You better be a good one.”
“Okay, why don’t you go play in your room.” Amelia leaves without another word, and you close the front door with an apologetic face. “I’m sorry about her. It’s been rough lately.”
“She’s a cute kid. I know we agreed to stay in tonight, but what do you say I take you and Amelia out? Maybe to a zoo? I bet she’d love seeing the animals.”
You look out the window and see his shiny black car. You love his car but it’s not suitable for Amelia.
“You know I love your car, but there are no seatbelts. I am not putting my baby in a car with no seatbelts.”
“Yeah, okay,” he nods.
You two settle on the couch and put a movie on that you both love. Within the first act, he pulls you into him and wraps his arm around you. You should be happy, and you’re trying really hard to be, but Trevor behaved the exact same way. He was so nice and loving in the beginning but he let his true colors show later on. Had you not run when you did, you would have had bruises on your body from him.
Still, through all that fear, you can’t seem to stay away from Dean.
I've never recognized a purer face You stopped me in my tracks and put me right in my place Used to think that lovin' meant a painful chase But you're right here now and I think you'll stay
It’s been a week since Dean promised to take you and Amelia to the zoo. He promised to have a car that is safe enough for your daughter, so you’re not sure if that means upgrading the Impala or getting another car altogether. Dean loves his car so you don’t think he’d give up his precious car for you.
“Amelia, are you ready?”
“Yes!”
“Are you excited?”
“I can’t wait to see the lions, Mama! And the giraffes!”
“If you’re lucky, you might get a kiss from a giraffe.”
Amelia giggles as you help put her shoes on.
“I hope you keep this one. I like him.”
“I like him, too.” Then again, I liked the other one. A car you don’t recognize pulls up to your house, and you take two steps outside to see who it could be. Dean exits and smiles when he sees your confused face. He’s not driving his beloved Impala. He’s driving a new version of a Dodge Ram. “Whose car is that?”
“Mine. I bought it yesterday.”
“Why?”
“It has seatbelts.” Your heart melts a bit. “Now I can take Amelia out without you worrying about her safety. I hear this is a really good car.”
“You’d do that for her?”
“I’d do that for you.”
You want to move toward him and kiss him but you’re stuck. You can’t move. You’re shocked because Trevor would have never done this for you or Amelia. He loved driving sports cars that were never safe for children, and he refused to get a car that could support her.
Dean might be a keeper.
Oh, we're dancin' in my livin' room And up come my fists And I say, I'm only playing, but The truth is this I've never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss And I'm terrified, but the truth is this I said Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms and I know That beautiful strangers only come along to do me wrong And I hope Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms And I think it's finally, finally, finally, finally, finally safe For me to fall
Amelia is sleeping but you and Dean wanted to have date night. Your sister isn’t in town to watch her and you didn’t want to take her to a bar at such a late hour. Dean offered to bring the date to you, which is why you two are slow dancing in your darkened living room. The only source of light is the candles you lit prior to him coming.
Soft rock flows through your speakers at a low tone so as not to wake Amelia, but Dean doesn’t mind. Dean runs his hands down your waist and grips your hips gently, and you lean up to press your lips against his. You’ve never felt this way about anyone, not even Trevor. He says all the right things, does all the right things, and knows exactly how to make your heart flutter.
You’re still terrified but it’s a good terrified. You’re scared of what this could mean, not that he could break your heart.
You pull away from him and stare into his beautiful green eyes.
“Don’t make me regret falling for you,” you whisper.
He leans his forehead on yours.
“I won’t.”
x
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#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester angst#dean winchester fiction#dean winchester fan fiction#dean winchester fan fic#supernatural#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fluff#supernatural angst
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HIHIHI may I request some Sakura please, your greatness 🧎♀️ who despite his tough boi act, absolutely worships the ground his lover walks on and showers them in love (before, during AND after sex) oooou it’s rotting my brain i need him to cuddle me stat
Author’s Note: Ah, so you’ve come to me with a Sakura request, I see. And a cute one like this, too? I get it, anon…I do. I get it because you and I are a lot alike. Sometimes you like the idea of Sakura bending you over and delivering loud, nasty, toe-curling backshots to you as he talks shit in your ear (same, same), but other times you crave a different version of him. You crave a soft Sakura, a comfortable Sakura, a tame Sakura that doesn’t flinch when you touch him but instead leans into your touch and looks at you with absolute devotion, right? Me fucking too. So you want broken-in, house-trained, and domesticated, Sakura? My pleasure.
Content Warning: Fem!ReaderXHaruka Sakura. Business (fluff) in the front & party (smut) in the back! Smut will be below the last divider. Sweet Sakura, who shows you love through some love-language type things. And then intimate love-making. You make love while half-asleep (mmm). Tame smut. Eve mentions Bridgerton again because there is now continuity in my stories, and I’m not sorry about it (don’t ask me about the show; I’m on season 1, episode 3, but I love the idea of it). Minors Do Not Interact.
Word Count: 2K
Divider by Saradika. Banner by me.
Sakura had watched you all day, and he hated what he was seeing. You two had planned a beach day on a rare day off for him and a light work calendar day for you. But when the universe hears about plans, it often laughs aloud and offers a wrench.
He couldn’t quite understand the intricacies of your work-from-home job beyond that shit was hitting the fan. You sat dutifully in front of your laptop, answering constant pings coming from god-knows-where and from god-knows-who to the point that Sakura felt he could time them perfectly.
Ping
…
Ping
Yup, perfectly timed.
And with each call or message you answered, he saw your shoulders rise closer to your neck, the tension making you hunch in a way you’d certainly feel later.
And he couldn’t help you with whatever the fuck KPIs or logic models were, but he could help you in other ways. So, he grabbed his keys and set out for the day.
As your workday concluded, your fingers found the bridge of your nose in an attempt to massage away the tension migraine that was rearing its head. Not only was today stressful, but as you looked around your empty apartment, you found Sakura to be gone. You hoped he wasn’t upset about not going to the beach, but you’d understand if he was.
As you stood out of your ergonomic office chair to stretch, ready to open the refrigerator to cook something up quickly, the door to your tiny abode opened.
You let out a breathy laugh—Sakura is blocked from your line of vision, and only a few single tufts of black and white hair peek over the various restaurant and grocery bags in his arms. As you croon your neck to watch him struggle his way inside, you also see that he’s carrying a bouquet of flowers with an unmistakable logo tucked firmly under his armpit.
He’s grumbling as he sets the items down on the kitchen island; something about hating living so high up, but you can’t bring yourself to dial in on his ramblings as you read the names of your favorite places on the bags.
“You got us ramen, kitten?”
“Yeah. Miso with extra beansprouts like you like, with some Gyoza on the side. It’s probably cold since it’s like climbing a fuckin’ mountain to get up here, but I can heat everything back up.”
He begins removing food, snacks, face masks, popcorn, and drinks from the bags. Your heart pangs with remorse at even thinking he was upset about your inability to go to the beach. Sakura is complicated, but he’s not childish.
“Also, Umemiya said something about the flowers, but you might have to text him about that. I zone out when he starts talking plant-talk.”
“Same,” your arms find his waist, your cold hands sneaking up his shirt and rubbing at his prominent v-line as you wrap yourself around his whole person. “Thank you for this. I love you so much.”
Sakura blushes, a personal trait he’s tried to stop fighting long ago. “Sure, but go ahead and sit on the couch. New episode of Bridgerton tonight?”
You rub your palms together excitedly, “I’ll get the fuzzy socks, kitten!”
After getting through half an episode of Bridgerton, Sakura noticed you were fighting a losing battle with your sleep needs. Heavy eyelids and your head growing slack on his shoulder were all the signs he needed to turn off the TV and scoop you up in his arms.
“Bath,” you mumble against his chest.
“Bath,” he offers in return.
“You sure?” he mumbles against your lips, “your eyes are barely open.”
“Mmm, but my legs are open, baby. See?” You wrap your thighs around his midsection, trapping him in and pulling him closer.
The heat radiating from your clothed cunt is undeniable, you’ve probably wanted him all night, and fuck, he felt the same way.
Sakura’s lips trace the curve of your jaw with gentle kisses and flicks of his tongue until his face is nestled in the crook of your neck. Your pulse is calm—so slow that he wonders if you managed to fall asleep until you shift under him and let out a sigh.
“Sakura...need you.”
“Yeah, babe. You got me. I’m right here.”
As he pulls the seat of your underwear aside, the slit of his cock already giving way to shiny droplets of precum, he sinks into you with a sigh escaping his lips at the familiarity of you. He can’t help but think of all the ways he loves you. Moments like this make him feel like the best version of himself—someone worthy of being loved and giving love.
He briefly presses his forehead into the valley of your breasts, letting your slick walls adjust to his girth. You’re wearing one of his white tee’s and smell so unmistakably like him that he’s positive you put on his deodorant after your bath. The thought of being so connected that you dress and smell like him while still maintaining your own smell makes him want you more.
His cheeks rub against your breasts, soft and heavy even through the pesky fabric, and because even one barrier is a barrier too many, he is now lifting the shirt over your head and tossing it to the corner of the room.
His cock twitches at the erotic sight of you, fully naked except with your panties shifted ever so slightly to the side, puffy pussy lips wrapped around his cock, and hole stuffed to the brim with him. He’d call it a fantasy if this weren’t his real life.
His feather-soft touches—reserved only for you—cascade from your stomach down your hip before the idea of not moving and not making love to you becomes too unbearable. His hand grips one of your thighs, and he pulls his hips back slightly, dragging the length of him against your silken walls and then forward, your pussy so wet, so creamy, and welcoming for him.
In his mind, he’s giving thanks, thanks to the shitty universe that finally felt enough pity for him that he was blessed with you.
He has to steel his resolve, however, because when he begins to think like this—think about how lucky he is to have you, to be buried inside of you—he’s prone to lose himself to you far earlier than he’d like and he wants this tryst to last.
“Haru, feel so good.” your words are slurred and dripping with the slow drawl that comes with sleep, but your body is deliciously reactive for him. The creamy sounds of his cock mixing with your thick slick fills the room so lewdly and loudly that it makes both your cheeks heat up as your love is audibly personified.
“You do, too. P-pussy feels amazing.”
He loves you so much his heart hurts. His other hand finds yours, entangling his long fingers with your own. And the way you rub at his bruised knuckles, fresh from a fight, doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Even in your half-awake state, you still care for him and want to ease his discomfort.
He slots his lips against yours where they belong, wishing that he could give you a more heated kiss, the kind that you like where he lets you suck on his tongue, but this is perfect, too.
You open your mouth, ready, so willing to accept him. He’d never say no to you, and he’s not going to start tonight. His tongue eagerly slips into your warm cavern and is immediately greeted by yours as he traces and flirts with it.
God, the taste of you is perfect.
If he could drink every bit of your saliva, thick and minty, he would.
Sakura pulls back, his chest aching a bit as he does so, but this question is important.
Breathy, soft whispers from a mind and body that is so lost in his lust for you can’t stop him from checking on your well-being. “Is this… you ok?”
“Mmmhmm”
His thrusts are steady and deep, practically slow, as he pulls out until the head of his dick stretches your tight hole to the thickest part of him. He’s then languidly pushing back in, savoring you and how you feel around him. He knows the feeling so well, yet it feels novel every time.
His eyes watch your face as your brows furrow; your tongue darts out past your lips to moisten them, the way your mouth falls open when he grinds the tip of his dick against your g-spot.
You’re so beautiful.
His hand travels down and finds your clit. His thumb gently pushes the hood back, flattening the pad of his thumb he gently flicks at the sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re so warm and drooling with want from him that he lets out a whimper.
“I love you.”
Your breathing quickens, but you lap up his words like they are a scarcely available resource. When Haruka Sakura tells you he loves you, he means it.
“Love you too, Kitten.”
“I want to make you cum. You think you can be a good girl for me and cum?”
“Yes, baby, I’d love that. Almost there, please don’t stop, Haru.”
“No, never.”
He leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth, moaning as your fingers rake through his hair. Every part of you is his favorite, but your breasts hold a special place in his heart. He sucks on them maybe a bit too eagerly, but you don’t seem to mind; as he pops each nipple out his mouth, they glisten with saliva and stiffen into needy peaks.
Your pussy is clenching him more now; he can tell that you’re close, and he loves that he can do this for you.
His thrusts have picked up slightly in speed, but they’re harder—communicating more want—the headboard now bucking against the wall and making consistent banging noises. As your cum splashes out of you with every flick of his hips, your inner thighs and his abs being coated in nothing but your slick, you pull him down flush against your soft body.
You see your orgasm before you feel it like fireworks exploding in your brain and setting off each pleasure sensor as your eyes dilate. You get that wonderful lightheaded feeling that comes with taking too many rapid breaths in a short amount of time.
Sakura moans as you clench around him, your walls gripping the head of his cock and massaging that sensitive spot on the underside of his dick. He can feel hot, white streams of his cum pouring into you, filling up every inch of you until your walls are painted white with his seed. He gives you a few more final, deep thrusts to ensure that his nut is deep and buried in what’s his, his thighs trembling at the idea of you being stuffed to the brim with his love, making him absolutely weak.
“Mmm, pervert. Did you just nut inside of me?”
He pulls away, leaning across the bed to grab a towel that’s settled nearby—first to clean you up, dabbing at your folds and thighs, and then himself.
“Sorry, should have used your face for target practice. Go pee so you don’t get a UTI.”
He helps you up; your eyes are still half-open as he guides you to the bathroom. As he hears the click of the door and the sound of a steady stream hitting sitting water, he turns to continue his routine.
Sakura grabs the previously discarded white tee, places it on the bed for you, and then heads to the kitchen. He grabs a glass of water and a granola bar, just in case, and places both items on your side of the nightstand.
He looks down at the sheets and briefly considers changing them; streaky, white, wet stains stand out as evidence of your lovemaking, but he hears the sound of water coming from a faucet, and he doesn’t want to hinder your sleep any longer.
You exit the bathroom, rubbing your eyes and yawning.
“Here,” he says, getting up with the shirt, pulling it over your head and down your body, and then guiding you back to bed.
You snuggle up next to him, and you drift off. Typically, Sakura might spend this time staring at you, wondering what you’re dreaming about as your face gives way to adorable expressions in your sleep, but this time, he joins you in your slumber instead.
#anon fulfilled#wind breaker#windbreaker smut#sakura haruka smut#haruka sakura smut#haruka sakura x reader#sakura x reader#sakura haruka x reader#haruka sakura#anon#request
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hello howl! do you have any favorite hcs of killer that you or someone else created? do yap if there's a lot, my brain is deprived of killer🥺
Alright, this are mostly about Stage 2 because he’s on my mind. Feel free to add on with yalls own killer hcs.
1. That Killer has ADHD. Probably a stereotype born from fanon killer’s personality, but I like it if it’s done well. (Which i rarely see, but that has been changing recently!)
2. That killer is some degree of blind or in general has a hard time seeing. Makes me think his other senses would be a lot better than his sight—especially his vision worsens depending on what Stage he’s in.
3. That he and Chara did pinky wears and the pink swears were sacred—not capable of being broken or the other has the right to kill or torture the snitch however they want. (My HC.) (Alexa play secret)
4. That Chara gave Killer Asriel’s half of the heart locket/golden locket, the one that said “bffs forever.” Especially if Killer has come to associate it with control, and it’s the only way to gain control over a Killer who has been stuck in Stage 4.
5. That his SOUL is a record player of all his victims dying, fearful, hurt, painted, angry, hateful and frantic words. Or at least Killer thinks it is—as he constantly hears them in his head whenever he attempts to resist killing or hurting anyone in Stage 1, and the constant flood of internal degradation is overwhelming enough to trigger Stage 4. The last part seems be somewhat canon, but the record player isn’t.
6. Cannibal Killer, started by me, holds a little place in my heart.
7. Cathearted and Angelkin Killer. Love it. Angelkin was @justanidiotartist’s idea.
8. Princess Killer. As in there is a timeline where he and Chara overthrew Asgore’s rule and became the royals of the Underground for a time.
9. That a part of Killer’s conditioning and training was being taught royal etiquette by Chara. It was framed and hidden under the disguise of learning something new, and a game— a way to keep Killer entertained and avoid boredom, therefore keeping him stable while implementing further rules and structure—but of course it had its typical violence and the use of Resets was often if Killer ever made a mistake or forgot a single thing.
He was taught to hold himself and carry himself as “something more,” above the others in the Underground, but never above Chara and not as real as anyone else.
His spine is always straight, trying to maintain a composed demeanor even when leaning into his silly behavior and extroverted mask. He eats his food in a very specific practiced manner without conscious thought, using his hands and utensils in a specific way.
He only eats when the “Queen” (Chara, Nightmare) eats, and stops when they stop—regardless of if he’s finished or not. Sarcastic, overly exaggerated bowing and signs of deference towards Nightmare—“Your Majesty,” “Your Highness,” in a deadpan, sarcastic manner.
And this one’s a bit more canon, but he copies and mimics Chara’s ways of speaking in a formal manner— such as how he says “greetings” instead of “hello” or “hey.” Often more obvious when addressing those he views higher and above him, or when stressed.
Maintaining old habits of perfectionism and cleanliness despite appearing outwardly apathetic, as if he doesn’t really know why he does it, he just does. His spaces are to be ordered and clean, all gear and weapons done in a certain way, and it’s probably more than once he’s corrected the others gang members postures and manners of eating or speaking.
One thing Chara never managed to make him stop doing was putting his hands on the table. He did that then and he’ll keep doing it. (Somewhat canon. Bro always has his hands on the table.)
10. Killer has the same fascination with the number 9 that Chara does. My HC.
11. Killer with schizoid personality tendencies. My HC. (Bit more complicated than that.)
12. Killer is subconsciously drawn to heart imagery—especially upside down hearts. He will often absentmindedly trace them on his bones/carve them, or draw on paper. It calms down his body. Especially after having failed some type of mission—both when killing or refusing to kill.
13. He stims. They’re small and not noticeable if you aren’t looking, easily dismissed as something else, but he stims. My HC. (I like to think his whole clasping hands over the soul/chest in prayer gesture is a happy stim and a nervous one. And also finger guns.)
14. He is a romantic. But only in his own head and fantasies.
15. Golden flower tea..yum.
16. He treats his weapons and animals better than he treats actual people or himself.
17. Stage 2 will blatantly ignore you if you try to call him Sans. (Somewhat canon.)
18. Stage 2 is mostly apathetic and indifferent but also distrustful of children. My Hc.
19. Chara and Killer’s relationship has been through just about any type of dynamic you can think of. Creator/creation, parent/child (both have played this role), teacher/mentee, enemies, friends, partners. Anything but equals.
20. He is actually very good at knife tricks. Will only fail when he wants to cut himself on purpose, or wants to make someone laugh.
21. Actually a pretty good caretaker, at least physically. Mentally and emotionally tending to a patient needs some work.
22. GNC fashionita.
23. Believes having no needs will make him invulnerable and free.
24. That a more humanized Killer would have long black hair he styles in many different ways. Also that he has a hooked nose and still doesn’t look entirely human.
25. The idea that he gives himself something like tattoos that remind him of Color in his Good Ending. Gradient flaming heart rainbows like Jinx’s blue cloud tattoos. My HC.
26. Catlike behaviors. Yeah. Including being very petty and causing problems for no obvious reasons.
27. Various forms or presentations of pet or age regression depending on the Stage.
28. Hates feeling too exposed physically. ✨ body issues ✨
29. Would’ve thrown the comfort plushie Color gave to him for when he’s Stage 1 away if it the plushie didn’t have an excellent texture. (Is the reasoning he gives.)
30. Acts of service. Just come to him instinctively. Very parentified eldest daughter coded I think.
#howlsasks#every-eve#utmv#sans au#sans aus#utmv headcanons#angelkin killer#killer sans#killer!sans#undertale au#killertale#undertale something new#buttercup duo#cw conditioning#killertale sans#kc chara#bad sans gang#bad sanses#nightmares gang#nightmare’s gang#undertalesomethingnew#something new sans#something new au#something new#nightmare sans#nightmare!sans#utmv hc#color sans#color!sans#color spectrum duo
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sick days ! gojo x reader ‧˚ - take a soda break…!
the rain outside your window is incessant.
it slides down the foggy glass panes in small rivulets that merge together and break apart, like the people outside on different paths of life. a sea of umbrellas moves like liquid in the streets below; a school of fish in a rainy city, under those fluorescent neons that shine like vibrant coral in the puddles of rain on the concrete.
there’s beauty even in the humid showers of tokyo, reflected in the broken lights and flickering signs; those food stalls full of warm life and fancy clothing stores that you always go in just to not buy anything, and best of all— the vending machines that dot the map.
watching raindrops race was one of your favorite hobbies as a kid. even now, you find yourself absentmindedly tracking the movements; the erratic nature of the blurry droplets as they slide down the glass makes you wonder if there’s hidden ridges on the panels that guide those watery paths.
your train of thought is rudely interrupted by another bout of coughing; that dry, itching feeling in your throat that you just can’t get rid of. drinking water to quell the cough has the same effect as telling your study buddy to stay focused for longer than five minutes. gojo is playing something on his phone again; a rhythm game, by the way he curses under his breath every time his fingers stutter and miss a beat.
you cover your mouth with your elbow, trying to expel the ghost dust that makes your breath hitch every time you try to speak, and he glances up at you, shifting in his seat. his lanky legs are cramped beneath the desktop; his frame doesn’t fit in your room. he has to duck when he enters, lest he hit his head like the first time he came over. like you, he has his head resting in his elbows. unlike you, he isn't ill with a fever so hot it burns cold and the stuffiness in your voice, and he also isn't studying.
"you sure you still wanna be reviewing? this exam doesn't really matter, y'know." gojo remarks, peering up at you from his arm pillow. "you should probably take a break, ’cus you look like shit."
he grins cheekily, pushing a pile of his papers and notes to the edge of the desk, where eraser shavings and broken bits of lead from when he couldn't solve a math problem are crammed. there's scratches and ink stains on the desk, a reminder of how you'd accidentally scribbled past the page’s edge in a sickness induced delirium. it’ll leave permanent marks; at this point you’re convinced you’re writing yourself a secret letter to the future. have you confessed to gojo yet? that’s what it’ll say. right now, it just says something unintelligible.
hopefully you’re still literate in the future, but you’re half-convinced you’re getting dumber every moment you spend caged in with this dunce of a genius.
you lean back in your chair, pulling your knee up to your chest. your pencil falls to the desk with a faint clack, soft yellow lamplight washing your faces warm as gojo scoots closer and peers over your shoulder at your progress. he has a pandora’s box of knowledge in that blue-tinted brain of his; he just refuses to apply it. it’s cocky, spoiled ego in the finest. you should hate him for it.
he snickers. "you're dumb."
"you missed forty-three notes." you countered, shooting him a glare as you point at the disappointed looking character next to a review of the stats from the song he was playing on his phone. gojo grimaces, pulling back like a sad little dog, floppy white hair covering his eyes.
"i was playing with my thumbs."
you ignore him, leaning against the wooden desk before hiding your face in your elbows again and letting out a long sigh. your hot breath curls up in the confines of your body, making you recoil slightly; uncomfortably. heat is the last thing you need with the fever you’re pretty sure you’re running.
"i hate being sick. and i hate studying. can we please give up?" you complained, glancing up at him out of the corner of your eye. your hair obscures your vision, so you can only see a faint glint of amusement in his azure irises as he studies you for a moment before scooting his chair back and standing up. without another word, he leaves the room.
wow. okay.
a moment of silence passes as you sit there, lamenting over your runny nose and the way you sound like you're about to cough a lung up every time you breathe, until you hear the soft sounds of his feet padding on the floorboards coupled with what you presume is ice clinking against glass, signaling his return. you lift your head, blinking blearily. each time you breathe in through your nose, your nostrils burn like dry ice pressed against your skin, only adding to your misery. the dreary weather outside isn't helping much, either.
the cold glass leaves a dark stain on the table, an uneven circle of condensation that soothes the aching in your fingers when your sick skin makes contact. gojo pops the can open, and you watch as he picks the glass up, tilting it to the side to pour the soda in.
“why are you holding it like that?” you asked curiously, a small yawn escaping your lips as you lean against the table. he glances down at you, a cheeky, tiny smile gracing his lips. the sound of bubbles fizzling and popping fills the cozy, cramped room; that cool, sweet liquid seems like the only thing that’ll cure your nasty cough.
“pouring it like this prevents the bubbles from escaping. you like it fizzy, don’t you?” he grins.
condensation clings to his fingers like morning dew upon flower petals as he sets the glass down. you watch the ice cubes bobble about in the soda, clinking against the cup like a mini wind chime. you’re sore from sitting in the same place with terrible posture for three hours, and there’s an ache between your fingers from gripping your pencil tight while you write.
you take a sip from the glass, letting out a contented sigh as the refreshing liquid drains down your scratchy throat. it’s not lemon honey tea for a cold, but it certainly helps. next to you, gojo takes his seat again, grabbing the throw blanket on your bed and tossing it over his legs before he grabs his pencil again. he’s using one of those short pencils, shaved down to a stub from months of use. you always offer him a mechanical pencil, but he refuses.
you sit there, waiting for him to get back to work before you realize he’s staring at you, legs crossed beneath the fuzzy blanket.
you frowned, shifting to face him as you lean against the desk. “what?”
“you’ll take care of me if i get sick too, right?” he tilts his head, like a curious bird.
“why would you get sick?”
you’re too relate to react when he makes a mad grab for your glass of soda, holding it out of your reach. a few droplets spill out and spatter onto your notebook, forcing a sigh from your lips.
“gojo…” you groaned, rubbing your temple with your fingers and praying for strength.
he just smirks, taking a lengthy sip. you watch his adam’s apple bob as a bit of condensation builds on his chin and trickles down his throat.
“you know what? i dont feel like studying either.” he announces, setting the glass back down on the wooden table with a loud thunk.
“so? what do you wanna do?” you huffed petulantly.
“download project sekai, and we can do a co-op live.”
“…you’re kidding.”
#billet-doux#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru#gojo x you#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#satoru x reader#gojo fluff#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen
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•••Promise Me•••
Frank Castle x AFAB reader
You finally see Frank again after months of being apart with no explanation.
hi friends. more Frank angst because this man has taken over my mind lately and i think you all should suffer with me. please enjoy xx
The walk back home from the restaurant wasn’t too bad of a trek. You had convinced yourself it’d be alot faster than waiting around for an uber, or bothering your cousin at 12 am to come down there and pick you up.
Was it wise? Probably not. But the multiple shots of liquid courage—fueled with the desire to take a long hot shower—gave you a sense of confidence no one would have been able to shake.
So you said your goodbyes to the group you were with, telling them a little white lie that your ride was here, and began walking home.
As the loud street music and bustling noise of downtown nightlife started to fade, that confidence began to wane.
It was really quiet out here, and no one was around from what you could tell. You could see the sign for a park a little ways ahead and that managed to level your nerves.
Your cousin’s apartment wasn’t too far from there and if you kept at the pace you were moving, you could get there in 10 minutes or so.
God you hated wearing heels. You’d yet to find a pair that didn’t make you want to cut off your feet and curse the ground after only a couple of hours of use.
There was a part of you that was half tempted to take them off and walk the rest of the way barefoot, but after already passing several broken bottles along the street, you decided you didn’t want to chance a night in the ER.
All things considered you were proud of yourself for going out tonight. It had been months since you’d done anything besides: work, sleep, eat, repeat.
Save for a few weekends now and then of binge watching a true crime doc with your cousin Lucy or a trip to the dog park with her dog Penny, you hardly allowed yourself any time to relax.
Anything to avoid your mind having the opportunity to think of him. To think of your past.
So when your coworker invited you out with people from your department to celebrate their recent promotion, you decided to let yourself enjoy a night out. You felt you had earned it.
You hadn’t been working for the company very long, but you got along with everyone pretty well. It was nice of them to include you.
It was certainly more fun than you expected to have but after your brain had tried multiple times to convince you that you’d seen someone that wasn’t there—someone who you hadn’t seen in months—you knew it was time to go.
6 months.
6 months and you still searched for him in a room full of people.
It was pathetic.
Even now, as you walked the nearly empty streets you felt him. You didn’t know how— and despite logic and reason battling with these inexplicable feelings— it still felt like you could sense his presence.
Yeah, this had to be the alcohol talking.
You tightened your trenchcoat around your torso in an effort to self soothe and offered a half smile to the few people you walked by on your way toward the park.
As you rounded the sidewalk, you pulled your phone out to text your cousin that you’d be home any minute. She was probably already sleeping but you wanted to give her the heads up anyway.
Anything to avoid her attacking you with a broom like she did the one time you got home late from work.
Just as you went to tuck your phone back in your coat pocket it slipped out of your hand, landing on the ground face down with a loud crack.
“Fuck” you cried, bending down to asses the damage. Thankfully you had a screen protector, so the actual screen was fine. But man you had done a number on it. The uneven cracks that splintered the screen made it difficult to read the time and notifications.
As you rose from your squatting position, you caught a figure out of the corner of your eye ducking behind a car across the street.
You felt your stomach drop.
Slowly… you stood up taller, squaring your shoulders and trying to steady your breathing. You calmly reached for the front clasp of your clutch, thanking any god or the universe that you managed to stow your taser earlier that night.
You chose not to make any sudden movements. Instead you waited. You waited for so long you were starting to question if you had seen anything at all. Maybe you misunderstood and it was the alcohol messing with your senses.
But when you saw the tip of a black hoodie through the window of the car you knew you weren’t losing it.
“Who’s there?” you shouted.
No response.
“Listen,” your voice shook, “I’m about 10 seconds away from dialing 911 so if you’re not interested in explaining to the cops why you’re sneaking up on -”
“Ain’t no need for all that.” You heard a voice call back.
Your breath stilled. As soon as the voice hit you, it was like the ground beneath you had been ripped away. You didn’t even feel like you were in your own body anymore.
You dug your nails into your palm, trying to startle yourself awake. Surely you had to be dreaming.
But when the figure stood and faced you, their hood falling back to reveal their face, you couldn’t deny what you were seeing.
There were so many emotions swelling inside you at once. Disbelief, disappointment, anger and relief.
You didn’t know it was possible to feel so many things at once.
Perhaps the most compelling was the realization that despite everything, you still felt love. So much love that it made you feel weak.
It almost made you forget everything that’s happened.
The feelings of abandonment. The nights of endless tears. The calls and messages that would never seem to go through.
Feelings of confusion. Of constantly wondering what you did wrong.
Questioning if any of it was ever as real to him as it was to you.
You could almost forget it all. Run right across the street into his arms. Hug him and kiss him over and over. Tell him how much you missed him. How much you need him. How much you forgive him if you could just be together again.
But as quickly as those thoughts teased your mind, the feelings of anger and betrayal enveloped you like an unrelenting wave.
You couldn’t allow the love you felt to erase the hell you’ve endured. You wouldn’t.
So you swallowed the tears that threatened to spill and turned away, making bigger strides to get back to your cousin’s apartment.
You could hear him shout your name but you kept moving.
He must have crossed the street because you could hear him calling directly behind you.
You didn’t stop. You didn’t say a word. You just kept moving.
Choosing to run was just plain stupid, but it was your only resort to get away fast.
Not only was it stupid because your feet hurt like hell and you were risking a face plant any second, but it was stupid because he was the fucking punisher.
Any attempt to try and outrun him was pointless. He’d be able to catch you before you could even finish your next thought.
“Hey!” he yelled, finally catching up to you and grabbing your arm. “Just hold up would you?”
“No!” you shouted, yanking yourself out of his grasp. You took a few steps backward and he held his arms up in defense.
At this point you know you looked like a mess. The hot tears you were trying to suppress had spilled over and you could taste the salt of them on your tongue.
You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so much but seeing the pained look on his face broke your heart.
To be honest he looked like shit. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in months. His beard was long and unkempt. It even looked like he’d lost weight. And his eyes, the biggest tell of all, were sad and empty.
“I just want to talk.” he spoke calmly.
You shook your head. “How did you find me?”
When you left the witness protection program you didn’t even tell Madani where you were going. She tried to pry it out of you, swearing that it was her duty as her job and as a friend to know. However, you wouldn’t budge.
The people that were after Frank had been taken care of according to Dinah. You didn’t want to continue living out the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.
So you thanked her for all of her help and you wished her the best, but you didn’t want any ties to your life back then. You didn’t want any more reminders of him.
“He asks about you, you know?” she had said during your last conversation. ���Every week like clockwork. I haven’t told him anything. Just that you’re safe and happy.”
You scoffed, “Well at least one of those is true.”
She was silent for a moment. “I hope you can give yourself a chance to be happy again. Love doesn’t always look the way we want it to and life is hardly ever fair, but once we choose to accept the pieces we are given…. we can allow ourselves to move on.”
You know Dinah meant well. And you appreciated how close the two of you had gotten based on the circumstances. But you weren’t sure if you could agree with what she was suggesting. It felt impossible to move on when your whole body still ached for him.
“Thank you Dinah.” you relented, “Who knew you could be so therapeutic?”
“Just part of the charm.” she laughed.
A comfortable silence fell between you. You were sitting on the balcony of your cousin’s apartment, and for a brief second you felt a little bit of excitement at the opportunity to start over.
Your cousin had managed to get you a job and while it wasn’t exactly what you were doing before, it was familiar work.
You’d be working for a publishing company polishing and approving manuscripts. It was boring, monotonous work but it was safe.
You thanked Madani again and expressed the hope of following up again someday in the future.
Then you changed your number and disabled your emails.
You knew doing so wouldn’t stop them from being able to find you if they really wanted to. Her and Frank were both good for that. But it gave you a sense of control for now. That you were the one deciding to distance yourself this time and the choice wasn’t being made for you.
“Could we go some place to talk?”, his voice broke you out of the memory.
You crossed your arms.
“No. You don’t get to show up out of nowhere after months of silence expecting to just talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
The words that tumbled out of your mouth were meant to be delivered with strength and conviction. Instead, they sounded more like someone trying to convince themselves that they believed them.
“I can explain whatever you want. Just let’s get out of the cold here, there’s a diner not too far out.” he said, tilting his head back towards where you came from. “We could get a cup of co-”
“No, Frank, I want to stay right here.”
He closed his mouth, but you could tell he was trying to keep his composure. You were being stubborn and as much as you hated being in the cold, you didn't want to be around other people.
You didn’t want to take the chance of losing your shit while people were trying to enjoy their food in peace.
“I get that you’re angry, but there’s a lot you don’t understand. I was just trying to protect you.” he tried to reason.
“You left me Frank. You didn’t text, you didn’t call. You left me completely in the dark.” you cried, wiping angrily at your face to rid the tears that were escaping.
“Do you know how scared I was? Having strangers show up to my house and basically tell me I couldn’t exist as me anymore? I had to move and change my name. And the one person I needed more than anything—the one person who could make all of it feel okay— wouldn't even answer a damn phone call.”
You suddenly felt like you were back in the empty apartment Madani had set you up in. You hardly knew her before that day, she was just “someone who had worked with Frank before”, according to what she told you.
But she kept giving you this look. This look that both expressed the pity she felt for you and the wonder of how you ended up in a situation like this? How you managed to get mixed up in the world of Frank Castle?
But you had met him after he had left that life behind him. And according to him, the life that he was never going back to. Things had been good for so long that you never even questioned it until that day. Now you didn’t even know what was real.
“You were in danger alright? I had angered some really powerful people. I had hurt them, did things I’m not proud of and I wasn’t about to let you take the fall for it. You weren’t safe with me.”
“I was always safe with you!” you shouted, “Who else could’ve kept me more safe than you? We could’ve worked it out together, we could’ve came up with a plan—” you stopped as you watched Frank shake his head in disbelief, “What, Frank? What the fuck is that about?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Come up with a plan? Really?” he scoffed, “This isn’t team sports. It’s not some dumb escape room you sit around and solve clues in. It’s real fucking life.”
You looked down at your feet. The escape room comment was a low blow. It was something you loved doing and grumpy Frank hated. He’d go along with it if you planned it, not bothering to hide his disdain at first, but by the end of it you knew he had fun with you.
You didn’t think he’d throw it in your face as a means to mock you.
“Frank, we were partners. That’s what you do.” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “You work through things together. As a team. Not one person taking over and telling the other person what to do all the time, but see you didn’t ever want to do that did you? You didn’t think I was capable right?”
“Don’t go there.” he warned. You could see his hands start to twitch. In the past his agitation would have gotten you to dial it back a little. You hated fighting with him and it was never worth it.
But this time you didn’t care. You didn’t understand why he was the one so angry.
“Why not?” you probed, “You always made it seem like I was one mistake away from getting myself hurt.”
“That’s because you never took things seriously. You had no sense of danger. Too trusting, too carefree, too-”
“Stupid?” you interjected.
“I didn't say that.” he shot back. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to find some place to channel the tension. You could tell this was not how he wanted the conversation to be going either.
You couldn’t believe you were having this same fight. It was something you never got along about.
You tried to be understanding. You both had different life experiences and because Frank had a military background, he had been trained to look at things a certain way.
He was trained to look for a threat and “take it out before it took you”. Transitioning back to civilian life wasn’t always that simple. Those habits could be hard to unlearn.
It wasn’t always bad, but it wasn’t always necessary.
Not every stranger was a potential threat set out to hurt you.
Staying late at work didn’t mean you were in danger and someone was holding you hostage.
Interviewing a source for your upcoming news article didn’t immediately put a target on your back.
But Frank always anticipated the worst.
You know it was his way of expressing his love but it could be a lot at times. You just wanted to enjoy life together without always feeling like there was some danger lurking around the corner waiting to get you.
“Go ahead Frank,” you continued, “Let me hear how stupid it was for me to walk home by myself tonight. How naive it was to risk getting hurt when I should’ve called a cab.”
“I ain’t gonna act like it was a good idea, and up until a few minutes ago I’m sure you were realizin it wasn’t either.”
You let out a groan.
“I was almost home, besides I don’t think anyone would’ve tried anything with the big bad punisher stalking me.” you said, throwing your arms out dramatically.
“I mean really Frank, what was your plan? Were you just gonna jump out and shout surprise? Were you gonna follow me home to make sure no one grabbed me? Stare down the cars that drove past me? The people that passed me? What was the fucking point?”
For a moment he didn’t say anything.He kept his gaze down at his boots. The twitching of his hands had stopped, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest had slowed down.
“I needed to see you.”
The phrase was simple, but it held such weight.
You understood what he meant. You felt the desperation in his voice. And yet you couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling up.
“What about all the times I needed to see you? To hear your voice? Why didn’t I deserve the decency of a phone call, a text message, anything?”
“I couldn’t risk it.”
“Bullshit.” you spat. “You could risk asking Madani about me?”
His head shot up at that.
“Are we gonna do this all night?” he asked, the anger picking up in his voice again, “Huh? We’re gonna just keep yelling at each other? Who was right? Who was wrong?”
“Yes Frank because I’m angry with you! You made me feel unimportant. You made me feel helpless, like I had no control over my own damn life anymore.” You stepped closer, making sure he couldn’t avoid your eyes.
“You pushed me away like I meant nothing to you!” you shoved him.
“No.” he shouted, “I pushed you away because you meant everything to me!”
He turned away and let out a deep breath through his nose. The weight of his words slamming into you like a wrecking ball.
“Everyone I've ever cared about gets hurt because of me. Because of my demons. Because of the shit I've done to other people. I couldn't take that chance with you. They were so close to hurting you. I had to do something. That’s why I contacted Madani. That’s why we got you into witness protection.”
You felt the sting of the tears start to swell up again. From anger, frustration or sadness you couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all three.
“You want to know why I couldn’t say goodbye to you? Why I couldn’t call you? It’s because I knew—,” he paused and looked off to the side, “I knew that if I saw you—if I just heard your fucking voice—I’d change my mind.”
He finally locked eyes with you again, taking a step closer to you. He was testing it out, seeing how close you would let him get. To his surprise you didn’t move away.
“I couldn’t be selfish with you.” he said softly.
You didn’t know what to say. You knew the people that had been after Frank were relentless, but you never once feared for your life. Maybe there was more to it that he kept from you, and you wanted to trust him, but it didn’t diminish what you experienced while he was gone.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’m not sorry I did it because you’re safe. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I’d do it again in a fucking hearbeat if it meant nothing would happen to you.”
“It’s just—.” your voice trembled and you bit your bottom lip. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t put the words together.
“What is it?” he asked gently, taking another step towards you. This time he was close enough he grabbed the bottom of your chin and tilted it up towards him.
“I really missed you and I didn’t think you cared about me anymore.” You choked.
Suddenly you felt yourself pressed up against his chest as he pulled you into him. “No baby, that’s not true.” he soothed.
You wrapped your arms around his torso and laid your head on his chest, letting all the pent up emotions slowly release. God you forgot how good it felt to be held by him.
All the nights you longed for this very feeling. For him to hug you and kiss you and tell you everything was gonna be alright.
You could feel your unsteady breathing start to level out again and all the anger and frustration slowly disappear. It was as if he was a magnet, pulling out the deepest emotions you tried so hard to bury.
“I missed you so fucking much you have no idea.” He pulled back, tilting his head down to look at you.
You both locked eyes and without thinking twice you kissed him. He responded instantly, pulling you so tightly against him it was as if he was trying to swallow you whole.
That feeling people mention of the world standing still—you finally understood what that meant.
When you couldn’t breathe anymore you pulled away, resting your forehead against his.
“What does this mean, Frank?” you quietly asked. “Can we be together now? Do we just go back to the way things were before?”
He was quiet for a moment and you almost regretted asking the question.
“It’s whatever you want it to be sweetheart.” he finally answered, “You tell me.”
You weren’t sure what to say. One half of you wanted to be together again. The other half wasn’t so sure you should give in this easily.
What if it happened again? You didn’t doubt there were more people out there that’d like to see Frank Castle and the people he loved, hurt.
Would he push you away? You didn’t think you could survive it a second time.
“Frank, I love you. I want to be with you. But I need you to treat me like an equal. I want to be included in decisions. I don’t want to be kept in the dark again, it isn’t fair.”
Though he wasn’t speaking, you could tell the thoughts were churning in his head.
“If something like this comes up again I want to know about it. I want to have a say in how we handle it. Can you please promise me that?”
Frank let out a heavy sigh. He had to fight with the selfish side of him that wanted to say no. This shouldn’t even be something you have to worry about. He’s the one that should be responsible, not you.
But if he was being honest with himself these past several months were hell. He hated not being with you and maybe compromising would be the best thing to do after all.
He didn’t like making promises in general, but as he looked into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore. He needed to be with you just as much as you needed him too.
“Okay.” he agreed quietly.
“Promise me.” you urged again. You needed to hear him say it.
“I promise.”
You didn’t even realize how tense your body had become until you felt your shoulders relax. Frank pulled you into him again and you could feel the tension in him relax as well.
If anyone would have told you an hour ago you’d be standing in the middle of the street being held by Frank you would’ve told them they were crazy.
There were nights you never thought this moment would come. So as the two of you continued to stand there, holding onto each other. You realized there was probably nothing in this world that could match this feeling.
You would make sure that no matter what was waiting for you around the corner, you’d never let go again.
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neighbour!abby headcanons
a little note: hi. my brain is a little fuzzy and i’m trying to figure some stuff out (about myself and life in general) but yeah sorry for going awol, i can’t promise anything consistent for the time being. anyway, here’s some neigbour abby for ya. i love her. goodnight 🩷 (tl;dr mental health is in the bin and i’m pretty sure i’m very gay)
very briefly nsfw towards the end!!
neighbour abby who is kinda closed off when she first moves in. you get the sense that she’s not so much rude as she is quiet and reserved, a woman who likes her own company yet is unsure how to approach others.
neighbour abby who gives you half smiles in the lobby, but she always holds the door for you, or offers to help with any bags.
neighbour abby who you mostly see when you walk by the gym, lifting stacked weights and beating a punch bag to shit it’s definitely not that hot and you’re definitely absolutely not sweating the AC must be broken
neighbour abby who helps you back into your apartment after you get a little too drunk on your birthday, wiping off your smeared makeup and (respectfully) helping you into your pyjamas.
neighbour abby who slowly warms up to you after that night, spending evenings watching shitty movies and drinking even shittier beer with you.
neighbour abby who gets a little too jealous when you talk about how great your new coworker is.
neighbour abby who becomes slightly more reserved when you come home with a hickey on your neck from a random girl at a club.
neighbour abby who watches you getting ready for a date knowing full well she doesn't want you to go.
neigbour abby who storms off before your date (that goes completely horribly) for absolutely no reason whatsoever, there’s no way she has feelings for you… right?
neighbour abby who despite her conflicting feelings comforts you after your shitty date, who won't have you talking down on yourself and shit talks a girl she’s never met just because she’s making you sad. neighbour abby who just ends up blurting out that she's not mad at you, but the thought of you going out with someone else and letting them touch you made her so insanely mad.
abby who kisses you, doesn't care about your pretty red lipstick smearing all over her lips she just needs to taste you. abby who pulls you onto her lap, making out with you sloppily, hating that she's going so fast but not wanting to stop.
abby who can't believe she gets to be the one who takes your dress off after all.
abby who eats you out like a woman starved, practically making out with your pussy as you lay back on her sofa.
abby who kisses you so sweetly afterwards and promises she'll take you on the best date imaginable.
abby who helps you wipe off your makeup and get into your pyjamas only this time, she gets to sleep next to you.
#abby anderson smut#abby anderson x f!reader#abby anderson x female reader#abby tlou#abby x reader#abby headcanons#abby anderson fluff
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