#i cant think or write after all of this
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*looks at your reblog* 👀 Oh? Tell me more
(Omg I only found this accidentally cause I‘m new to having 2 blogs I‘m so sorry that I‘m only answering now, I swear I didn‘t even know this ask existed until now, but I‘m so happy you‘re interested ok aNYWAY-)
So that post I reblogged reminded me of a scene I wanted to write into that one TFA OC fanfiction I never finished so I’ll just talk about that (with a bit of context for comprehension‘s sake, but hopefully not too much cause all of the context would be like 50 pages)
(Oh also this is specifically about Scatterbrain/Scatters/SB/the one guy who‘s been infesting my brain like a parasite for the past 1.5 years)
So like basically Scatters has two main problems.
1: a dead boyfriend who got killed by the Cybertronian equivalent of the police, and
2: a „past“ in the stockades, where he got put after attacking the guy who killed his boyfriend, and which made him develop an extreme fear of getting things plugged into his medical port (and medical equipment in general) as a result of things they did there.
… Needless to say these two elements don‘t mix very well, both with each other as well as with just, being a functional person in general. If you add his other other problem with vulnerability and admitting to his fears and faults and distress, everything just goes to shit.
If you now put him in a situation where he has to be medically treated (by Ratchet btw, that info becomes important later) as a result of severe „bleeding“, and subsequently also get an oil/energon transfusion via the port, you get that post I reblogged, with some extras too! So I’ll just go into detail under the cut about how that’d play out, it’s kinda long and cringe and only makes sense to me and I‘m probably also the only one who gets this emotional about it cause this guy‘s entire psyche is like, in my brain. Anyway- proceed at your own risk :))
At first he‘d start being more and more aggressive, refusing to open his port at all and saying that he „doesn‘t need“ the transfusion, then going over to yelling about how he „doesn‘t need to do anything you tell me to actually“ when he starts to run out of arguments to cover up the fact he‘s just very afraid of all of this. This would however only result in aggravating Ratchet, ending in him getting Bulkhead to physically restrain Scatters to finally force open his port and get the transfusion going already, because he really does need it. And yeah… the physical restraint coupled with the forceful intrusion doesn’t help at all with differentiating this experience from the stockades. Having already been out of it due to his low energy levels, now with the added reminder of these other two factors, Scatters starts hysterically crying and begging to „make it stop“ and just fully reliving his imprisonment at this point. Obviously Bulkhead doesn’t have any idea what‘s going on, and while Ratchet can make an educated guess (from experience cough cough), that doesn‘t help much with figuring out how to make him stop having an episode.
(I feel the need to mention here that I believe in the popular(?) theory(?) that the bots have next to no idea what mental health/illness even is, let alone how to treat it when it gets bad)
Anyway, they just try to get all the fuel levels into a normal range as quickly as possible, after which everything is removed from Scatters immediately. This does get him to stop begging and screaming, but he‘s still crying, shaking violently and very obviously not all there yet. Bulkhead gets him off of the operating table they‘d had him on, and half pushes half carries him out of the medbay and just, outside, in an effort to get him to calm down somehow. I‘d imagine he‘d also be very overwhelmed in that moment and would like to get someone out there with him to help, but since he‘s the only one in team prime Scatters „tolerates“, doing that would probably just make things worse, so he endures. Scatters then starts clinging to Bulkhead‘s arm when he tries to pull away, mumbling both to and about his dead lover until he eventually becomes fully aware of his surroundings again, pulls away and stares at Bulkhead for a solid minute before saying the classic „if you tell anyone about this I will make you swallow your own wrecking ball istg“ and running away to have the rest of his „moment“ somewhere else alone.
So yeah the post I reblogged just reminded me of the medical torture flashback thing, because calling out for help at all, let alone screaming, begging, crying… physical touch that isn’t violent… opening up like that in general, aren‘t really things that Scatters does. He‘s the „I hate every form of intimacy and emotional honesty and would literally rather perish than let anyone know how I feel, why I feel that way or let them help me with my troubles. Fuck you, die.“ kind of person.
I hate him he‘s so terrible he‘s suffering he‘s so unwell someone get this bitch a therapist please someone kill him actually it‘s fine he gets better by the end of everything hahahhaahaaaa.
(I just accidentally deleted the entire paragraph about how his obsession with and unhealthy idolising of his dead lover are like,, core parts of his character and how everything links back to that and how his entire arc is about learning to accept that guy‘s death and how to be his own person again and not tying every action to „what would he want? What would he have done?“ and letting go and not acting like his life is completely over whenever he gets reminded of everyone‘s mortality and letting himself love other people and not feeling guilty about it and and and and- basically I‘m pissed I deleted that and can‘t get it back and that THIS is the only substitute I can come up with. Kill me.)
(Oh also there‘s smth about letting himself feel other things again cause like hate and longing are pretty much the only things he‘s felt for like 1 million years so yh I really shouldn‘t have named him Scatterbrain of all things huh cause the one thing he is is singleminded (and unable to let go of one thing/person). Oh well.)
Ok this was all really really long and unnecessary I hope your brain isn‘t melting out of your ears. I certainlydid tell you more though haha…´:]
#gams speaks#scatterbrain#miscellaneous questions#jesus christ this was a doozy#im a lot better at using commas and writing comprehensive sentences in german I SWEAR#THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I COULD NEVER FINISH THIS FIC#i can’t articulate how absolutely insane all thi shit is let alone how to#ugh#i cant think or write after all of this#this is why i made this blog#i need somewhere to put all of these completely incomprehensible thoughts
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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This still doesn't seem real.
#going to write in the tags#i didnt think this would hit me this hard#i adore one direction with my whole heart#but i wasn't a big Liam fan#i got in to the boys after 1D and his solo stuff is not really my thing#ive cried for almost 24 hours now#and i dont know how to move past it right now#this has hit me so hard#i was clowning about new harry music on tuesday#And now i cant even think about that#i cant even begin to comprehend what the family and the boys are going through#i just keep crying#i think its stopped and then it just all floods back
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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#oc: nata#i like to meme on my ocs (and all characters) a lot but nata is one of those guys i just Cant mention without talking at least a little#...hi. after writing this tag i went on an enormous tangent that i needed to zoom out to 80% on desktop to see the whole thing#so im sparing you from that. just. know that i think shes neat#out of context oc nonsense#rainworld
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Au where in “The Woman Who Fell To Earth” instead of falling in Sheffield, 13 accidentally lands in front of an Echo of Clara.
#We know they are still around and we know Clara met an echo of her as they are throughout history.#So it’s highly probable an echo of Clara is on earth living her normal life right?#ohh and u can experiment so much with these echoes !!!#but yeah 13 is fleshly regenerated so she doesn’t remember much#her memory is all scrambled#but she feels that this person is familiar and a feeling of confort washes her everytime she sees this echo’s eyes#Echo Clara well they’re Clara lmao so they def have smth for the doctor#this idea was created from a call with Mac some months ago lol#at the end I think 13 would tell her about Clara#after being nursed back to health and all her memories are in order#and insist that this echo should travel with her#but echo clara doesn’t accept. they cant. they’re not Clara and they’ll never be#they don’t want to be a replacement#I would write this au ngl#I think I will in the summer#I love bittersweet goodbyes#I mean this echo Clara is kinda OC but every echo has Clara’s personality so it’d still be like her#doctor who#dr who#dw#the doctor#13th doctor#thirteenth doctor#clara oswald#clara oswin oswald#oswin oswald#echo clara#thirteen x clara#thirteenclara#doctorclara
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of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)
#len speaks#star wars#revenge of the sith#empire strikes back#the force awakens#not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️#i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish#times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it#for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭#i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my#current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches#as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the#spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless#i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all#i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats#it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!!#also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might#also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀#and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something#bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the#scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind#me to the dialogue lmfaooo
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I think the kids are waiting at the sun tree. They've never really done that before. Sleeping by the sun tree. But as they watched their parents and their friends disappear, with fear in their eyes, it was a day full of firsts.
Wolfe ends up running off in a sort of fit. Leona runs after him. They both feel more at home in the woods. They probably went there to calm down. Vesper, as the oldest, decided she needed to get some things in order. Just in case.
And Gwen was going to leave, sneak into her father's office, past all his traps and rigging, until she notices Vax just standing there. Staring at the seams in the bark that aren't really there. She watched him collapse, sitting crisscross on the roots.
So she stayed. She sat next to her big brother, close and leaning on him. Though, she wasn't there looking for support. She had watched his cocky, teenage attitude melt away into a panic. Vax'ildan was panicking.
"They'll be okay," she told him. "They're the heros of the realm. They'll save uncle Vax and the world and come home." She sounded so sure. He had to believe she was right.
They stay there though. For hours. It might have been the most time the pair ever spent with each other. The sun starts wane and their home turns golden and their parents aren't back yet.
Leona and Wolfe come back, their faces red and a little dirty. They hadn't even taken their leathers off. Like they were going home when they saw their siblings still waiting. They flank their siblings, Leona wrapping an arm around Vax's shoulder and Wolfe taking Gwen's hand. Also contented to wait.
The sky is purple by the time Vesper came with blankets, pillows, and large boxes from The Slayer's Cakes. She had all of her siblings favorites picked out. Trinket 's bear claws for Leona. Sun treats for Gwendolyn. Trayon's Blondies for Vax. Keyleth 's almond bark for Wolfe. And her own personal favorite Everlight-as-Air Scones. She brought enough to count as dinner. She wasn't their head of household. She was their big sister. She didn't need to make sure they ate well or went to bed on time. That wasn't her job. Not yet.
The stars were out that night for them, granting them the family time that they desperately needed. They laughed and stole each other's pastries. They danced around any subject related to parents or their aunts and uncles away. Hunting and tinkering and spying were all fair game. The twins fought, Vax'ildan rolled his eyes and they got him to smile. Gwen listened carefully. Vesper counted the hours since their parents left.
She thought the sun might rise and they'd never see them again. She thought they would have to gather their things in the morning sun and start their new lives emerging from the roots on the sun trees. She thought-
The bark of the sun tree cracked and groaned as it split. All of the De Rolo children held their breaths. Aunt Pike, Uncle Scanlan (in centaur form?), the ashari man, Uncle Grog, a very beautiful and very scary elf woman.
Then father. Then mother hanging on the arm of a strange man they recognized immediately.
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#blah blah blah#went ham in post and tags again#me talking out of my ass again#i cant wait for all the fics of them coming home and spening the evening at home warm and as a family#and theyre all titled lets pretend nothings wrong#if i knew the characters better i would write a full fic and this would be the opening.#id have them in a drawing room#and vax is listening to all his nieces and nephews talk#gwen is on his back and hes running around#he gets to meet vax'ildan#he gets to meet the kids that are so much like him#and i think the adults are sober. for the most part. grog and Keyleth are having some wine but nothing in excess#they want to be there. they want to be present. they want to pretend like nothings wrong#and percy surveys his family. finally complete after all these years.#gwen is in his lap and his wife is smiling wider than she has in years#and some how hes able to press to the back of his mind that this could be their final hours on this planet.#but its exactly how he'd want to spend it#vox machina#the de rolos#idk what else to tag#idk i got soft
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Ben feeding Speckles
#Ben feeding Speckles Bumpy’s favourite food#or Ben and Speckles eating grubs for 5 minutes until Kenji stops them#the camp fam now have two babies to look after#ignore my terrible writing#babygirl ben#ben pincus#speckles jwct#cant wait to meet speckles#speckles#ben x kenji#ben and kenji#benji is my everything#benji season 2#jurassic world chaos theory#ben jwct#jwct kenji#jurassic world chaos theory spoilers#jwct benji#jwct#jwct spoilers#jurassic world chaos theory season 2 spoilers#scribbles#i can’t draw but i had a vision#i can’t wait to see them looking after the baby#i need dad kenji#benji dads trump all moments#benji dads?!#i would pay to know what the writers were thinking when they made benji dads to an unborn ankylosaurus
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This is jumping the queue bc some really cool people reblogged my last post of Corey and they escaped containment.
Updated sidestep design perpetual WIP
Sidestep days vs retribution. They're slowly reacquiring their self expression. Next book will probably be the full return of the scene/punk look
Bonus Corey sans most of their clothing to show off their tattoos under the cut. CW for healed SH scars
Yes that is Ortega's bedroom yes I half assed it. I drew this background in my car at work when it was like 110 degrees idgaf
#listen. i was a teenager in 2013. that sidestep outfit design is 99% shit i owned and wore lmao#corey is all my middle school angst condensed into one character#PLEASE zoom in theres so many tiny details in the outfits and the backgrounds i love drawing that shit#scavenger hunt: the lighting themed jewelry. the secondhand ipod anathema gifted them. the doodles on their shoes.#definitely think ortega kept some of sidesteps things after they died. they were besties#no chance sides didnt leave anything of theirs at ortega's place#ortega kept coreys ipod and battle jacket#hasnt given the battle jacket back yet though just the ipod#corey also plays guitar#themmy taught them and the rangers got them their 1st guitar as a joint xmas gift . Obv ortega held onto that too#throwing yourself into edgy aesthetics and musicianship works in place of therapy in a pinch. i would know#finally broke out of my “cant write music” block by projecting too hard onto corey. maybe ill post my music on here eventually idk#my art#fallen hero#fallen hero rebirth#fallen hero retribution#sidestep#corey rook#the uncanny valley look to their face wasnt deliberate but it does suit them so its fine#giant blue eyes and creepy big smile my beautiful unsettling baby#me and corey got two settings: horrendous rbf and eldritch nightmare grin#hand drawing that linkin park shirt instead of just pulling a design from the internet was a labor of love#you bet your ass corey and I are fuckin stoked about their new album#put The Emptiness Machine in their playlist immediately after finding out it exists#this character is very dear to me if that werent clear by the massive wall of tags#if you read this far thanks babes i love you <3
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The foxes just won another game. Neil waddles over to Andrew to celebrate using his racket cos he’s so exhausted. When he gets there, he smiles at him before falling to the floor. Without a word, Andrew sits down in front of him. They both sit there silently, staring into each others eyes with their foreheads pressed together.
And that’s how the press and fans started speculating about their relationship😋
#I can’t write for shit but they have been taking up 99% of my thoughts for the past 2 weeks and#I keep imagining lil scenarios like this so thought I’d post one if idk#this is probably rlly cringe but wtva💀#HELP THEY HAVE CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY#I CANT GO 10 MINUTES WITHOUT THINKING OF THEM#AND THE BOOKS IN GENERAL#I GET HYPERFIXATIONS ALL THE TIME BUT THEY ARE RARELY AS INTENSE AS THIS😭#the last time it was this bad was when young royals s1 first came out and#I felt physically sick if I wasn’t watching the show#like literally#I had a shower and after it I was literally rolling round on the floor cos I felt so sick#love that#yey autism#woop woop#andreil#all for the game#andrew minyard#neil josten#andreil have taken over my life
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cw: unbeta'd rambling once more, all mistakes are mine. vague references to true crime content, nothing graphic. just thinking of what would discomfort the charas, im basically throwing darts 🥴
i hc'd that kalim doesnt really get scared by ghosts and urban legends and to add onto that: i think kalim would be icked out by people with an interest in true crime.
like, the content hits uncomfortably close to his own encounters and some people frankly take a bit too much pleasure in going through all the gory details - wait, you're telling him there are people who fall asleep while listening to true crime podcasts?! on that note, some psychological thrillers (especially the 'adapted from true events' kind, compared to the 'dystopic social commentary' ones) would also fit into this category - just being plain uncomfortable to sit through, a movie/podcast/tv experience making him sick to his stomach.
i just think that kalim doesn't get the appeal at all, no matter the explanation. if someone tried to show him a few cases, he'd just be sitting in uncomfy silence.
(on the flipside, i think jamil hates horror movies with an abundance of jumpscares compared to slashers. he has an uncanny sense foretelling when they're gonna happen, but he still flinches during the actual jumpscare. bonus points if a fakeout is good, u get to see his soul jump out of his body twice.
on the topic of true crime, jamil just doesn't vibe with it, especially when it's not well-researched and/or poorly handled in its delivery. and like, he's already gotten the fearmongering-type of warnings* from the adults in his life plenty of times. he doesn't want to see it packaged in a spooky, edgy, internet detective-way, but he's more rational? understanding? of its appeal to others.)
#not to say that kalim is immune to jumpscares!#if he was really caught unaware he'd jump out of his skin he's human after all#but he doesn't get those post-horror movie scares while walking down a dark hallway#he's not scared of the shadow man chasing u up the stairs when u turn off the lights#yes im saying that kalim is the chara to pick as ur company when going through a spooky house if ur sensitive to vibes#the ghosts cant get u when u have litral sunshine by your side#technically jamil is more capable but ur both gonna be on edge until ur absolutely sure there is no danger to be wary of#(even if its jus as simple as goin home from watching a horror movie. its the jamil brand of overprotection/overbearingness/etc)#i think kalims a diff flavor of vigilant for intruders and people who Should Not Be in the vicinity#*on that note about parents fearmongering their kids! i like to think tht they were both heavily subjected to it lmao (tots not projecting)#not just in terms of their safety but also in terms of their health (yes i am hcing that the scarabia boys are 2 flavors of hypochondriacs)#dellet-asides#kalim al asim#jamil viper#twisted wonderland headcanon#twisted wonderland#twst#twst headcanon#dellet-writings
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It's a shame that Sergeant Bitter-Root and Manny/Boone have never met cause those conversations would be fucking rough
#like it's a sliding scale of what happened at bittersprings for all of them from like BRs violent support of it Boones immense guilt and#desire for repentence and Manny's almost neutral view on it due to not knowing like it was bad but he himself says he cant blame anyone tho#that would def change is he got put in a room with those two BR got to talking about it#like all first reconn and Manny and BR have such like interesting backgrounds that are the opposite of each other and you can see why they#think about the events and the khans the way they do while Boone is just like there as an interesting outside perspective that also has his#own personal ties to it before and after on such a deep level#i want to write my mega NCR analysis posts but at the same time i need my air of whimsy posts#fallout#fallout new vegas#craig boone#manny vargas#sergeant bitter-root
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