#i cant remember id it was confirmed

[chaoss-incarnate]

someone PLEASE explain to me why i have to study thomas aquinas when his theories are literally the EXACT same as aristotle's but with the element of god and christianity. what is the fucking point. essence and potencial is basically the same as potentiality and actuality, but explained in a way that somehow fits god in it, who is both of these things. the four causes (material, formal, efficient, final) but yk, with an extra one (perfection) just to explain that god is the only actual perfect being. natural law? oh yeah ethics should be applied to be happy, which can only be achieved by finding god. so we must follow the same virtues aristotle proposes us, qith the only objective to get to heaven and find god (and of course we need to use reason to get there - plato, anyone?? using reason to get to the ideal world?). the virtues are basically the same: ethical ones and dianoethical ones, and obviously the addition of theological virtues, the ones related to christianity (faith, etc)

[vaugarde]

i havent really paid attention to the sword and blade fandom interpretations and i didnt know that a common thing people did was make blade a woman so they could no homo ship m/f sword/blade. that’s insane to me because i thought most of us agreed that those two were having insane gay sex on the side while meta knight was teaching fumu how to hide poison in her cooking well enough to bypass detection before it gets to the top

[todayisafridaynight]

plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned

can’t wait to see it in dragon engine :3

mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear

[hungee-boy]

unsure of what is going on with gofundme

campaigns are showing up when searching for them but actual pages are not loading

its every page im checking too so im sure its a technical issue and not a "were mass shutting down gazan and sudanese campaigns" issue

still tho rbed the past pay day aids and if you want to donate just make a list of who you want to donate too until the problem is fixed

[rokkzalm]

Frozen Typhoon Farzen

534FB9 / 450F73 / 501611 / 1C0306 / C46337

[unassumingcavegoblin]

it would be really funny if with the baby in the troy saga he didn't actually yeet it off a tower and he kept it

they're just sailing and someone's holding the baby, it's comfortably silent except the gentle splashing of the calm waters

babyholder: oop!

everyone: *just assumes it's the baby being a baby*

*faint splash*

*awkward silence*

babyholder: …captain?

odysseus: yes?

babyholder: ...so about that baby…

*awkward silence*

babyholder: ...we don't need to watch it anymore! *nervous laugh*

odysseus: *head slowly turns 180 degrees like a fucking owl*

*odysseus and babyholder make direct eye contact*

*silence*

odysseus: babyholder.

Odysseus: Eurylochus, how would you react if I brought a baby back home with us?

Eurylochus: What’s under your cloak?

Odysseus:

Odysseus: I think you already know

[nomairuins]

also i admire dws refusal ever to engage with language barriers

[bedforddanes75]

how i feel after saying every single character on the planet is autism coded

[stevie-petey]

Maybe a blurb of the first time Joyce met bug?

GOD I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED TO WRITE THAT SCENE UNTIL THIS ASK RAAAAAAAH

enjoy <3

"whos this?"

jonathan freezes. clearly he hadnt expected joyce to be home so early from work.

a girl stands behind him, one joyce has never seen before. shes small, her eyes wide and her hands fidgety. at his mothers questioning glance, the girl clutches at jonathans hand ever so slightly.

and jonathan lets her.

it surprises joyce. her son has never been the affectionate type. he only ever lets will hold his hand. curious, joyce clears her throat. "whos your friend, jonathan?"

jonathan doesnt say anything. hes nervous, he cant meet joyces eye. they both know hes never done this before, bringing home a friend. for years joyce hoped he would, that someone would show her son kindness, but all he had experienced instead was exile.

so to see her son now, holding hands with a girl who seems to settle his wary nerves, joyce knows immediately that she will cherish this child forever.

"well?" she coaxes gently, bending down silently to meet your eyes. "whats your name, honey?"

"y/n henderson." you finally say, eying joyce up and down. its almost as if youre reading the woman, trying to find anything hidden about her. determining whether its safe to reveal yourself.

joyce recognizes the signs of a hurt child. she smiles at you, gently touches your shoulder. "its wonderful to meet you. im mrs. byers, but you can call me joyce."

you frown slightly. "but my dad always told me its rude to call adults by their first names."

joyce laughs, but the laugh isnt cruel. its warm, fond, and it quells the remaining uncertainty you feel towards her.

"your father is right, but i dont mind."

"youll be mrs. byers." you declare, your shoulders straightening as you find your voice. the shyness fades quickly, faster than joyce had been expecting. "its the polite thing."

"y/n, its just my mom." jonathan tugs at your hand. hes impatient now, eager to show you his room. he offered you to come over so he could show you his vinyl collection. "can we go now?"

you plant your feet on the ground. "you can show me your music later, id like to talk to your mom." then, eyes widening slightly, you turn to joyce, scared. "if thats alright with you?"

"id be more than honored to talk to you." joyce beams, and you smile just as wide as her.

"mom!" a higher pitched voice calls from down the hall. a little kid comes running in, his hair in a messy bowl cut and his clothes too bug. "can you help me-oh."

when he sees you, he hides behind his mom. the kid is no older than dustin. you remember jonathan mentioning something about having a brother, but you had yet to meet him.

letting go of jonathans hand, you walk slowly towards his brother. "im y/n. whats your name?"

the boy looks up at his mother, silently asking her if hes allowed to answer. joyce nods at him, brushing his hair down in a reassuring manner. "go on, introduce yourself to jonathans new friend."

"youre jonathans friend?" the kid asks, eyes suddenly lighting up.

"i am." you confirm, laughing. jonathans face burns in embarassment, but his chest opens with adoration for you as he watches you kneel down in front of his brother. "now, about that name of yours."

"im will."

"hello, will."

joyce watches the interaction as well, feeling the same opening in her chest as jonathan is. they look at one another, mother and son sharing a knowing glance.

i like her, joyce mouths to him.

i do too, jonathan mouths back, smiling wider than joyce has ever seen before.

[raouls-fine-horses]

I went to see From The Rehearsal Room at the Savoy and I compiled notes. Keep in mind I wrote this on the tube on the way back from it so it might be a bit crazy but yk…

- Before the show we went on stage to look round and Hadley and Ramin were there to tune their guitars so they performed Hushabye mountain for us and then the group was taking a picture and Hadley snuck in and photobombed

⁃ They wore matching sockssss and it wasn’t even deliberate

⁃ I cant even remember why he brought it up but once Hadley had a bear on the roof of his apartment and they had to tranquillise it

⁃ He also performed once with a racoon staring at him

⁃ Ramin was singing this really beautiful song and Hadley was in the back with his legs crossed and one elbow resting on the piano and he was chugging water as everyone was crying

⁃ They bashed on people who watched I’m A Celebrity which was kind of funny tbh

⁃ Hadley is a Lord Of The Rings girlie which we love. He’s got that deluxe Lord Of The Rings trilogy swag

⁃ RAMIN SANG TIL I HEAR YOU SING AND THE AUDIENCE SCREAMED THE MINUTE THE CHORDS STARTED

⁃ THEY SANG LILY‘S EYES

⁃ HADLEY FORGOT HIS CHARACTER’S NAME (NEVILLE) AND THEY WENT ON FOR AGES TRYING TO NAME THIS CHARACTER AND THEN HADLEY JUST REFERRED TO THE CHARACTER AS NIGEL

⁃ Hearing Hadley talk about the Pirate Queen was very lovely

⁃ They were talking about the Secret Garden and they asked if it was ‘the’ Secret Garden or just ‘Secret Garden’ then they started using different words instead of ‘the’ and then Hadley started speaking in a northern accent and it was oddly good. I know he’s an actor but have you heard him in the Pirate Queen lmao

⁃ I don’t condone shipping irl people but once you see it live you can’t deny it. My mum literally thought they were husbands

⁃ Ramin sang a song and then afterwards Hadley said how the love just CAME OUT of him for Ramin

⁃ They held handsssss

⁃ After the interval Hadley sang Funny from City Of Angels and oh my golly goodness gracious it was absolutely brilliant. It’s one of my favourite songs ever and aaaaaaaaaa it was so good

⁃ Also Hadley got us to do three part harmony and he started speaking French??? It sounded angelic tho it was so beautiful. I love Just Let Go so so much it was so good with 1000 people singing it in beautiful harmony

⁃ Also the way he taught it: my choir teacher could never

⁃ He’s so patient and dad-like

⁃ Well he is a dad

⁃ A dad I’d like to-

⁃ He didn’t win the dilf awards I can’t finish that sentence

⁃ Just a reminder that I was there for the dilf awards 2022

⁃ Also it’s confirmed that Hadley’s mum calls him Robert which I always wondered about bc his name isn’t actually Hadley

⁃ Also right right right

⁃ Sheytoons turned into Gaytoons bc during the line “this time there’s no way of hiding the way you feel” Ramin got really tense and then he was properly reacting to the song but subtly and I don’t think it was deliberate

⁃ Babygirl this time there’s no way of hiding the way you feel for Hadley Fraser

⁃ RAMIN SINGING WHO ID BE

⁃ AND IT WAS SO GOOD

⁃ AND HADLEY SAID “PETITION FOR RAMIN TO BE THE NEXT SHREK” AND BABYGIRL YOURE SO RIGHT

⁃ Empty chairs at empty tables

⁃ Empty chairs at empty tables

⁃ I am not okie dokie

⁃ It was beautiful

⁃ So so beautiful

⁃ And then when they did the iconic harmonies I started sobbing

⁃ It was too much for my brain to handle

⁃ Then they said they couldn’t leave us on a sad note so they did YOULL BE BACK

⁃ I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FUCKING BRILLIANT YOULL BE BACK WAS

⁃ So it started with Ramin, all bouncy and funky and stuff

⁃ But then oh my golly goodness gracious Hadley

⁃ He OWNED King George III so so hard

⁃ He did a very posh British accent and acted the living hell out of it

⁃ It was the best thing I’ve ever seen

⁃ And then he stuck one of his legs out in sort of a tango way and was very flamboyant and I’ve seen silly Hadley but I’ve never seen truly campy, flamboyant Hadley and it’s the best kind of Hadley

⁃ Then the whole audience did the da da da da das and it was so neat singing with Ramin and Hadley live

⁃ And they were doing a dancey dance and HADLEY AS KING GEORGE III I BEG, THATS ALL I ASK OF YOU, PLEASE ILL ACTUALLY ENJOY HAMILTON IF HADLEY IS KING GEORGE PLEASEEEEEE

⁃ Then it ended and we did a meet and greet and Hadley asked my name and I said it and Ramin and Hadley both shook my hand and then Hadley recognised me (it’s complicated to explain but basically he once saw a picture of me) and went “oh Maddie!!! It’s so good to see you!” Then he hugged me. Robert Hugh ‘Hadley’ Fraser hugged me. He didn’t do that for anyone else. He opened his arms and said “come here” in a nice way not a creepy way den

⁃ Overall such an insane experience, if you thought either of them were good in recording it’s just even better live. I’ve never heard them sing so well.

If any of you were there watching it please add anything I missed on

[rust-is-a-car-disease]

Dod crossover ideas go

Dod x orv (i think ive seen 2 on ao3 alr and they are amazing i love them. They will not be able to be pried out of my cold dead hands. I didnt finish orv but the setting is one of my favs)

Skills i think would be neat for idols/testar and co to have: immersion, crowd control, some charisma bs skill

Individual skills (not counting current stuff):

Bae Sejin: smtg to do with his amazing actor stuff. Arguably that could be included in immersion so maybe smtg to do with setting up situations like reading from a script. Legal jargon stuff exists so... maybe smtg to do with contracts or no... maybe smtg like the vow of death from tcf but less extreme? Or like informal verbal contracts confirmation to a milder degree... not to death usually probably

Ryu Chungwoo: again i love him but idk much abt him. He just doesnt click in my brain. Uh uh maybe a minor perception skill. Specifically not mental resistance. Oooh i dont actually know much abt idol dynamics, what does an idol group leader do? Uhhhh something something perfect child??? Like uh 'i have to be a good child' like in return to player. Its basically where the user is compelled to behave better? But it can go very very wrong as we can see in s tier timeline dynamics. So he would be compelled to do well and behave well maybe like a rock in the group as the hyung and leader but he could explode or crack horribly in certain conditions

Lee Sejin: incite. Manipulation related skills 100 percent. Maybee something that allows him to blend naturally into groups or with people unnoticed. Kind of like a just casually inserting himself everywhere whenever he wants. What else... uhhh id say a favour system where if someone owes him from something like him saving their life or giving them food theyre obliged to help him but that sounds too op to be fun... maybe mental suggestion? More so people think of him favourably automatically as a baseline? So theyre more open to him generally + added that if he slips an idea into conversation they will very likely take it out he intended and adopt the idea he wants

Park Moondae: wifi skill. 100 percent wifi skill. Chat with keundal maybe due to body swap and system shenanigans? I feel like hes the kind if he covers up a bit he would be able to get relatively unnoticed until he reveals himself and then suddenly he cant get any time to himself. So maybe a skill like that? Siren siren siren s- no too op its not as fun... emotionally suggestion? Like he has a skill that suggest emotions to people strongly so theyre emotional states are easier to manipulate? Its thru song tho

Seon Ahyeon: uhhhh not a mental resistance skill... sorry deer but ur nullification works differently... uhhhh oh shit idk what could be used as a skill for him... his beautiful face isnt a skill... his charm is just him... uhhhhhhhhhh... focus? He can hone in on a self set goal or objevtive maybe? I seem to remember the arc where he tries to get moondae to tell his secret... uhhh what elseeeeee uhhhh idk man ToT a lot of his traits and personalities dont fit into skills. Eternally beautiful face skill ✨

Cha Eugene: uhhhh little kitty cat... oh he can eat a lottt. I say he can store food. Yoo mia alr has the storage skill so i say he can stock pile food nutrients and stuff. It would be useful where he just eats a lot and instead of burning thru it like usual probably he can store it. My boy knows how to get attention... wait that alr carried over in black hole... uhhhh my guy knows how to utilise attention??? Like in the water festival? Focus on his coolness not how out of place he is. Cover up flaws and distract???

Kim Raebin: ah our rabbit... what to do with this bunny... maybe his music has a layer of suggestion to it? Like he can suggest things through his music like emotional and mental suggestion? Not to the point of moondae and sejin who specialises in a specific one but its there. Uhhh what else... oh! He can summon his equipment. Paired with moondae's voice he can summon a microphone and suddenly theres widescale suggestion

Bonus:

Keundal: can check the status of testar + marked people like in the alternate world arc where everyone got their memories (it was then right?? Or am i accidentally adding tomagachi arc to it?)

Cheongryeo: his obesessiveness and repeats havd earned him several abilities which are like but not limited to being able to check vaguely ehat his group members + moondae are doing, having the skills related to kidnapping someone(s), following scripts etc. This comes with the downside of him being even more mentally unstable and a constant worry of his kongi which will probably lead to several mental breakdowns and hammers to peoples heads. Where does one find dog food in the apocolypse? Is human meant toxic to dogs? Whooo knows? :)

Kongi: he(??) gets skills bc i said so. Also bc cheongryeo will probably go batshit crazy without kongi. Whos keeping who on a leash? Probably something like mentally healing(to an extent) for people he cares abt like cheongryeo. Kongi is adorable i will not be taking criticism. This goodest boy has negatic survival skills. He will get sick from slightly unclean food and cheongryeo has to put in the work to take care of him. He gets sick a lot in the apocolypse and everyone is trying to stop cheongryeo on a rampage bc his mental state is even worse than before.

Orbit employees: idk but i think if its fun if they benefit from being associated with not 1 but 2 system users. Ofc maybe not too. They could also just all die.

[my-castles-crumbling]

okay so hi..

um ive seen people do this so ig im going to as well.

basically i and my gf (she/her) have been in a relationship for nearly 6 months (6 in two weeks). we're both 19.

we met through my bsf and her bsf dating and now we are (i had the biggest crush on her but genuinely didnt think she'd give me a chance).

ive had pretty bad luck in relationships before and they never lasted more than 3 or 4 months mainly due to the fact that im asexual and btoh previous oartners just assumed they could change me (???) but she genuinely understood and went out of her way to make me comfortable and make it known that nothing will be demanded of me more than that which i can give.

from the beginning of the relationship, ive made some rules very clear which are like my no nonsense ones, like i wont tolerate them usually at all.

one of them being not making me purposefully uncomfortable and the main big one is not yelling/shouting, especially at me. (i have past trauma from my parents and it has in the oast made me shut down completely for days at a time, only getting up to feed my cat)

on one of our beginning dates i mentioned this really nice and sorta expensive restaurant that ive always wanted to try but reservations are really hard to get.

she joked saying that oh id love to go with hou ehicb i laughed at but was mildly excited about.

so i got the reservation for yesterday, i made the reservation for two.

last month i told my girlfriend that i have finally got the reservation and would like to go with her, told her the dates and time and everything and she seemed genuinely excited to go with me.

now last week i confirmed her availability again, and asked her what colored dress she was wearing so i could match it with my clothes and we decided on a color etc and also to get ready at my place because her bsf has their family over so shes will be staying with me for 2 weeks.

now, yesterday, after i was done with my work i went to the living room just to well see her and hug her cz i missed her a bit since i hadnt really seen her in about 5 hours (i was working). when i knocked at her door, she opened it and was ready with a dress (not the color we agreed on), her purse laying in the background as she greeted me with a big smile and kiss (on the cheek).

i asked her isnt she ready a bit early and she just looked at me confusedly and said no i hve to meet R (her friend) at 4:30 so im just on time.

i asked why and where she's going just to know if she'd be back and she said that theyre going to the mall and then to the movies because R is leaving in 3 days to go on vacation so they want to spend some time togetehr.

i smiled and wished her luck, i thiught that maybe i got the day wrong but i hadnt and i was actually really sad because all my life, everyone in my family would repeatedly just forget about my plans and my shit for others' and she knew abt that.

but anyways, so i decided to still go and i took this really lovely lady, who's homeless but i buy her a meal everyday and take her out to lunch once a week. (shes like in her 30s btw)

we had a lovely time and the food was divine, i even helped the lady get ready in a changing room.

but anyways on my way home i realised i had 3 missed calls from my girlfriend and a text that just said.

we need to talk as soon as you get home.

the moment j entered my apartment, she just started to yell at me about how much of a piece of shit i am, how people forget and its not a big deal, how im an arse, how not everything is supposed to be about me, and could i possibly imagine how she felt coming back to an empty apartment, she thought something had happened to me.

that is not the order she sais everything in but someway through my breathing started to get extraordinarily fast and i coukd feel my vision getting blurry.

i said sorry to her, or i think(?) i cant really remember stuff when i get panic attacks like this. i took my cat and went to my room.

it took quite a while for my cat to calm me down bur she was able to in the end.

this morning, i made breakfast for her and since i have today off from uni i decided to go to my job (i work part-time remote but can come and go to the iffice if i wish)

its my break rn and im thinking about it, maybe it wasnt a big deal? maybe i should have reminded her again but like idk it was a pretty big thing for me.

i feel bad, i feel like i made a mountain out if a molehill and shouldve just apologised properly and explained to her that its okay and that it wasnt that big of a deal.

i dont knwo?

i wanted some advice because i truly feel very strongly for her and shes the only relationship ive had in which i feel valued and had zero self doubt (up until yesterday)

im sorry it was so long, and thank you for your help.

Hi!!

Okay so...this is hard because, I don't know if either of you are to blame, here. Your girlfriend wasn't great for forgetting, but then I was wondering why you didn't say anything? But then she was shit for yelling later....

I'm wondering if this is the first time this has happened? It sounds like a lack of communication, you know? I think you guys really need to sit down and discuss how you were both feeling. But if this becomes a pattern, especially your girlfriend yelling, I would think more about the relationship.

Keep me updated! I'm naming you orange anon.

[coderiderr]

9, 22 and 27 for you good friend!!

09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 

regarding MCD oh katelyn absolutely no question. plot threads and arcs can get a little all over the place but katelyn has a consistent motiv/arc she follows through on s1-2 with her defection and everything, we love you katelyn <333 ugh queen

For mystreet well tbh. uhh. s1-3 zane is the only one who had a solid like. arc (?) about opening up and making friends. (not that he should be opening up to these ppl theyre all assholes to him lmfao) so much happens in mystreet and the quality, ranges. s1-3 was like a sitcom but then s4-6 were so much idk.

22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?

i dont think i identify with any of these guys honestly. theyre all very different from me,. mystreet liochant ig, bc he does nothing <3

27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?

OH THERES SOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH goign on mystreet concepts first uhm s4-6 i dont like ghost but her concept is so insane but the fucking execution but like she literally cant remember anything about her life other than the name zane & like love. which she interprets as oh he must be the love of my life or smthin so shes obsessed with him but extremely strongly implied (or outright confirmed id have to rewatch) this is the ghost of emmalyn from mcd and the reason she remembers zane is bc MCD zane literally killed her husband in front of her its so crazy. thinking the reincarnation of the guy who killed your soulmate is your one true love bc you cant remember why you know him AHHHHHHH

s1-3 mystreet im blankin on a lot of it. idk garroth repsect ur brothers boundries more or smthin </3 wish they leaned more into the hilarity of zane being part of the homeowners association. wwe only got the ep where he judges christmas decorations for a competition. ohhh wait they shouldve leaned more into zane being an outcast and why bc theyre kinda like hes a dick ig? even tho like. he reasonable defensive and shit bc the people around him are like. constantly making fun of him. i think he deserves to be a little bit of a dick.

MCD JUST LIKE>> TRAVIS IN GENERAL HIS CONCEPT GOES SO INSANE AND THEN THEY JUSARGHHH like his dad is the demon lord and he grew up solely with his mom and is extremely outcast at the village he protects FROM HIS DAD bc of his parentage and the dude literally spends all his time alone after his mother died he has so much compassion for people who hate him it goes so crazy. and hes so ashmed of his demon side im ahhhh. hes always lurking in ym brain

and dante and gene dante and gene. pov youre orphans and your big brother is doing something terrible so you report him and he winds up being hanged for it and he comes back as an undead monstrosity and kills literally everyone in your hometown ((i realize i have misremebered it was a memory wipe not killing but so many village wipes happen in this series can you blame me)) but you and you are haunted by the guilt you feel. its hard but you end up finding a new place to call home and new people to call family until one day theyre gone and you do your best to help your little struggling village and you perservere until one day 15 years later theyre back and havent aged a day. you thought they were gone.

also just fucking getting to see dante age and get married and become a father while gene is stuck in the same 20 y/o body goes crazy. what happens when you outgrow your big brother

also hmm i dunno. i think we should all aprreciate brenden more. also kiki & zane are so we need to talk about that more

[evertidings]

"hehe no i’d actually say they know themself almost too well." okay good just confirming to see if it fits, (is big brain anon here again) but id like to believe that k psychoanalyses others because they feel like psychoanalysing others means they always know what to expect, andf so that they wont get hurt by them, and they can brace themselves. K's angst is rlly obvious considering everything. they dont want pity (remember when they told mc their fam was dead? 'how could i ever feel pity for someone as heartless as you' yeah.) K's a complex character, but it's no doubt that their immortality (duh big brain, its been said 100 million times) is a burden to them. they also want to psychoanalyse people to know their positive traits as to why they keep them around, and negative traits for how they plan to bury their grief after a friend is long gone. also, they probably feel comfort in the ocean, because the ocean id big, deep unexplored and full of mysteries, but the one trait it has is that it's always there, whether you know of it or not (ooh, much like K themselves). K's very lonely (ike I believe N is, N, K, Rylan and Blane are all similar in tears of lonliness, it just depends why they are, and i think even a is lonely to some extent, like they're all lonely which is why found family works so well for them, but lets not do that rn this is too long <3) they also psychoanalyse behaviour's, so they notice when it changes. like if person is getting too close to K, or if K is noticing person is diff than usual, they want to know. i also think that when they try to psychoanalyse MC and realise they they have no idea as to why they're there, it probably starts to freak them out a bit. MC is an enigma, they're unpredictable, and that means that K is at risk of getting hurt again, but their isn't anything they can do to protect themselves except push people away, except now that they've lived so long and still cant figure MC out they're now more intrigued, even if they wont show it. (fatal flaw, K. curiosity killed the cat / jk because satisfaction bought it back). also wrote this all on a whim so lmk if it sounds like im somewhere near their arc.

i actually think it's a lot simpler than this haha. i love this theory but in my eyes, i think it's more that K likes to know what they're dealing with. they don't like surprises, don't like the unknown—they've dealt with people long enough that they can read them quite well and because they lowkey have no filter, they tend to say it to people's faces.

they find the hunter interesting for more reasons than one and are definitely pulled in by that, but they're able to pull away when they feel like they're getting too close. even if they're extremely intrigued by someone/something, they're well-practiced at shutting down their emotions. they are extremely lonely and recognize this, but like Rylan, they think it's for the better.

also K liking the ocean has nothing to do with anything haha. they simply find the sound of the waves soothing, though i guess i agree they like how it's always the same.

[generalsmemories]

Hii not a request, more a ramble bevause im insane, but just came from a stressful college day (was asked if i wanted to go home so haha…obv.) and I’m so done and well maybe it seems like a request but I’m fr curious what jingy’d do like when you’re having a panic attack.

Specifically because I don’t want to be touched during one but I feel like the assumption will be that he’d just hug you and (even tho id probs want that but LIKE THATS ME ITS HIM YOU KNOW WHAG I MEAN AAAAA) like you know (do you?)

Okay sorry I’m a mess, so when I have panic attacks I go non-verbal. (I might be autistic) And like all i do is apologise and cry and hyperventilate and id love a hug but hate it at the aame time. And I feel like he’d know yk? That like if youre not into physical touch, he won’t touch. And if you are okay with it he will…. So hed ask and id nod? BUT THEN ALSO NO BECAUSE ID CRY EVEN MORE WHICH SUCKS AAAAA.

Or: i just want him yo be real and exist and hold me because im touch starved but I also dont because then hes real and I cant do anything and i cant talk and then its all fucked up because bad communication and haha mentally ill.

Sorry if this aint your tea i jusy feel its so normal bc all my friends havw this shit so we share the most insane stories and jokes yk?

Anyways much love <333

dear god anon i hope you took a nice rest when you got home from college- rememeber to put your health first before anything else! you can't flourish or give it your all if your body is ready to collapse any second.

I recently graduated earlier this year (around may) so i can totally understand the stress, but treat yourself well and i hope you got the very much needed rest. also don't be sorry, i get you and not wanting to be touched in such a vulnerable situation. well sorta anyway, i can perfectly initiate physical touch with others, but when others try it with me it's always a 50/50 chance that i will not even let them touch me or pull away after a few seconds HAHA (friends and family alike).

but as for how jing yuan would react i'm pretty sure he would notice pretty quick - he has quite a good eye for details after all! he pays close attention to everything around him, so picking up a few habits of some people would be a piece of cake for him. but if he's unsure i'm sure he would be the type to actually test the waters, if you're able to talk under such panic attacks he would softly ask and then just stay by your side as a presence if you were to confirm his suspicions!

if you weren't able to confirm or deny anything, i think he would try first. not go straight for a hug, but place a comforting hand and test the waters ya know? and if you were to first say yes then later say no he wouldn't question it - if anything if it stresses u out more after he would just placate you with the same :3 smile he sports.

BUT REMEMBER ANON FROM ME PERSONALLY!

don't put yourself down like that, battling mental illness is already a struggle in itself. you're already doing plenty enough by getting by each day! and judging by how you can still joke and talk about it with your friends, you already have close people who would probably stay by your side willingly to comfort you. you're not alone, but if you ever want to drop by again in the near future and ramble you're welcome to!

i would gladly chat with you again (و •̀ ᴗ•́ )و

[snaileo]

gonna write this post to reflect upon things before the year ends - it will be long

i dont know how to start this - or how to even express my thoughts. but this year was hard - very hard and i wish i could remember what i was doing last year. last new years eve, but i cant remember. i wish i could tell my past self, that in a few days time, you would learn that your mom's cancer came back and then 8 months after that, on the dot, she'd pass away. obviously i cant. this last month has been especially hard, not that i was excited for christmas anyway, but it was my first one without her. one thing id do every year is check everyday for xmas music to come on the radio, which i did excitedly??? this year, and on nov 10th, it started and my excitement was cut abruptly when i realized i was alone in the apartment, without her to exclaim it too. it hit me all over again. its so hard to go into her room even though i have too bc the washer and dryer are in that particular closet, and it still feels like shes there. its eerie. its hard for me to associate this absence of her with being gone because this is just what her room looked like when she kept having week long hospital stays every month since may - so it was no different right? but i gotta keep telling myself that it is, that shes not coming home. Well she *is* home but not how I knew her.

both my dad and i felt this time was different, long before the complications began. i remember having that conversation with him, anxiety gripping every part of my being, something just felt different about all this - and it wasnt until months later that our fears would be confirmed. one of the things i struggle with most is guilt. feeling like i couldve done more, that i shouldve done more, that i was her caretaker and she died - i feel like i let her down, i feel like maybe if i had done this or that, it would be different, that she would still be here. i try to tell myself i did all i could but its difficult. i simply feel like i failed. i failed her. she deserved better than what she got -

she had seemed so invincible to me, with all that she had survived in her life, the way she carried herself with each thing she overcame - but in that final week, the one she spent in the ICU till she passed - i saw her slowly break down, her body slowly give in - i was really hoping she would Bounce Back, like she always did, so many close calls in her life, but she always came back - i was anticipating the next week when she would be out of the ICU, back at the apartment, talking about how she survived yet again -- but that didnt happen.

i completely broke after her passing, and had a solid month of feeling, disassociated from myself - deep within an existential crisis and grief - really truly grappling with what death is - and it took a while to realign myself. im still not okay - but im better than i was then. im still very lonely. the amount i spoke to my mom, daily, was something i never even realized until after she passed. i cant talk to my dad the way i talked to her - she had a near photographic memory and could recount stories and tell them in such an engaging way that i hate that i do not have a single fucking recording of her telling any story. that i no longer will hear her recount her life to me, tell me as if it happened yesterday.

im finding new things everyday that i didnt even realize i'll miss.

she believed in an afterlife, in spirits and heaven, and i hope, for the sake of the terrible hand she was dealt, that there is an afterlife, that she gets the happiness and peace she deserved. i found a lot of comfort in reading people's stories about seeing deceased loved ones in dreams, ones that feel like a visit, whether or not theyre truly a visit or just what the heart needed - it was comforting. one thing i didnt foresee was how painful the dreams she appears in would be. how painful to see her or hear her, or just knowing shes there - and then i wake up. reality hits. one odd thing to note is the first time i had dreamt about her after her passing, i wasnt allowed to look at her, i knew she was there, somewhat in my peripheral but there was a voice telling me "do not look at her, dont look at her" it was a strange feeling, it was so vivid. most of my dreams now that consist of her are typical dreams, tho a portion of them have me baffled that shes even there and i try to ask her How??? i thought you were dead, and she would come up with some excuse or some way how she survived. its a strange feeling. dreams are strange.

realizing this is getting too long. if you stuck with reading this whole post thank you i guess. this was meant for me to vent and reflect. especially since my mom was born in the year of the dragon, and 2024 will be the year of the dragon.i dont know how to end this post.