#i cant fucking take it anymore my dudes
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here's a take some of you aren't prepared for!
people whose paras are bodily secretions [sweat, piss, farts, burps, vomit, etc.] are the punching bag of the paraphile community and the internet as a whole.
we are used as shock videos more often than not, especially when gore is taken down immediately.
our paras are mocked as "deviantart cringe" or "childhood jokes".
we have very little representation in the paraphile community and are actively put down by other paraphiles, both blatantly and with smaller aggressions.
we have a scattered community because we don't have very many non-porn non-imagines spaces for all ages.
most of us grow up with the belief that we are disgusting and gross for what we like because it's stamped into our heads since fucking childhood.
the big three are blatantly hated by many, but at least i can go to a big three community with my necrophilia and be immediately accepted. walking into the para community as someone with several bodily secretion paras, mainly eproctophilia and coprophilia, is fucking terrifying because we are so casually hated.
it's not fair.
#discourseskunk#paracourse#paraphilia#pro para#paraphile#para safe#paraphile community#paraphiles please interact#i cant fucking take it anymore my dudes#radqueer dni#transid dni
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#AAAAGHHH#HE WANTS TO START A FAMILY#WITH EDDIE#YOU CANT CHANGE MY MIND#i can’t do this#my heart#my heart can’t take this anymore#I’m so done dude#Venom#venom symbiote#venom the last dance#venom 3#venom spoilers#venom movie#veddie#symbrock#venom the last dance spoilers#venom x eddie#eddie x venom#eddie brock#What if I say I’m fucking losing it#i’m losing my shit#Fuck you sony
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#digital art#my art#my art stuff#postal 1997#postal game#postal#postal dude#shitpost#i cant fucking take it anymore
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me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself
#like jesus man why cant i just be happy for people#its not even like they dont like me or anything i know they do obviously but my goddamn brain just goes#hey. hey. hey. hey. theyre abandoning you. they absolutely fucking hate you. you mean nothing to this person anymore now that they have-#other people they care about. which means you are being a burden and have to go die sobbing in a hole now sorry.#literally why#it fucking sucks so bad#i just want to be glad that my loved ones can rely on people who arent just me but noooooo i guess i have to have a breakdown over this#god#i hate myself so much dude#I seriously cant take this actually#i just want to be better#why cant i be better#and now i cant even enjoy one of my favorite bands playing anymore because im a selfish fucking prick#why does anyone even like me honestly#and this is over something thats literally so unimportant it means nothing i should not fucking care i dont want to care#tw sui ideation#im not actually considering it btw but god jesus i suck#and im attention seeking#i mean seriously i shouldnt post abt this#fucking stupid#i wish i wasnt like this#scribbles says shit#tw vent#kinda#er yeah i guess so#this is weird#only like the 4th real vent post ive ever made on here lol
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STOP POSTING ABOUT MOUTHWASHING! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Mouthwashing stuff. I-I showed a mouthwash bottle to my friend and started dancing with it and I said "hey jimbo HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a blonde guy with blue eyes and said "CAPTAIN CURLY" I looked at a toy horse and I go "POLLE SAYS:" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
#mouthwashing#this feels so cringe#but whatever#I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE ITS ALL OVER MY FYP AND IM MAKING IT WORSE BECAUSE I NEED MORE#THIS GAME WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME#JIMMY DIE#JIMMY DIE NOW#I love swansea he’s so awesome#I CANT GET THIS GAME OUT OF MY HEAD#IM FUCKING SAD#IM SO FUCKING SAD#WEIRD ORGAN YOU SUCK I HATE YOU#oh and don’t even get me started on the voice acting videos. strawman if you seeing this ill fucking get you /silly /j#DUDE HIS VOICE ACTING IS SO COOL#THE WAY HE VOICES JIMMY ALMOST MAKES ME HATE HIM LESS but then you realize that he still ran away in the end#And him apologizing was all in his head#fuck does mw have a server. I need to dump my questions.#if this game ever gets some kind of crazy sequel or we find out what happens next I will explode
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#every once in a while ill go back after cleaning up music on my phone and relisten to old rock songs then redownload them#but im thinking. how the fuck did 3/4 of my immediate family listen to disturbed. just one song but huh#actually maybe 2.. also trapt? who the hell is that anyway we all just know headstrong 😭#i redownload and delete and redownload it all the time LMAO#skilet and three days grace and OH breaking benjamin we all listened to a lot too#and i say 3/4 bc i dont know what the fuck my dad likes? pit..bull..? lmfao..? thai music?? im so confused#FALL OUT BOY ALWAYS HITS#also that fucking. roach last resort shit. my brother still has it in his spotify playlist and it always makes me laugh so fucking hard#anyway i do rmr skillet and breaking benjamin being big bc we all liked it. also how did we all like disturbed but now none of them listen#to rock sob sob#also i used to share three days grace and fucking hollywood undead to my younger cousin??? what was wrong w me for sharing HU...#HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT THO?? its really funny LMAO#also evanescence but i found more songs on my own and ofc we together only kinda had uhh 2 songs#NUMB ENCORE.. I TOTALLY FORGET ABT IT AND IT BLOWS MY MIND EVERYTIME IT RESURFACES IN MY HEAD HOLY SHIT#BANGER but anyw my point was uhh smn smn sharing music is great and im happy we all bonded over rock before lol#44597#IDK I FORGOT HALF WAY IN 😭 GO ROCK!! im redownloading some of the shit i dont have again LMAO#OUGH ALSO NOBODY CARES BUT ME AND MY COUSIN R SO 06 ALL HAIL SHADOW PILLED#THAT WHEN MY BROTHER PLAYED THE OG ALL HAIL SHADOW I KID U NOT I WAS LIKE IS THAT A COVER WHAT VERS IS THIS#SORRY IM SO CRUSH40 PILLED I LITERALLY PLAYED SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG ON THE PS2 AND ON AN EMULATOR?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT#/LH BC ITS STILL GOOD BUT THAT IS NOT MY JAM. 06 IS WHERE ITS AT#crush40 was so good for sonic songs though esp all hail shadow and ungravitify OUGH crush40 versions r like almost always my fav#wait with movie and year of shadow ppl r going back n commenting all over this old yt upload of all of me from 11 years ago LMAOOO#dude they have to give knuckles kickass rap songs again PLEASE unknown from M.E makes me laugh so hard BUT ITS NOT BAD#AND PUMPKIN HILL ok that wasnt tehcnically his but it literally TALKS ABT KNUCKLES. ITS LITERALLY ABT HIM BRO#that ones funny to me bc my cousin loved it sm and he was legit like trying to hear the lyrics but he couldnntt#a ghost tried to approach me AND GOT MARRIED??? 🤨🤨 i cant take this song seriously ASLKDJS#CHECK YES JULIET.. JUST REALIZED MY BESTIES USED TO LIKE SOFT ROCK WITH ME?? they dont listen to that at all anymore omg
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i must be fr the only person who never rly cared for vee but thats mostly cause one of the first things we saw her do was throw away and give away luzs stuff as if it was hers and i just know if someone did that to me id be so pissed. do NOT touch my shit dude istg. like they didnt even know if luz was dead or not like at least wait a few years or some shit. not a month. its so petty of me but its also a fictional character so. i dont even hate her i just dont rly care in general
#my post#definitely not tagging the fandom even for blog purposes cause i dont need people talking to me about this ajfjajd#im literally just expressing this cause i think about it every time i see vee#i just know if some people saw this theyd make a fuss cause shes def a loved character which is fair#like. dude my nephews kept coming into my room when i wasnt there and trying to take my things#so much so that when i was at therapy on tuesday and therefore couldnt protect my room#THE BROKE ONE OF MY FIGURINES. MY ESPEON. i had to superglue the tail back on but it doesnt even fit right and i cant even#remember how it fit anymore and i. oh my FUCK. not to mention they straight up succeeded in stealing my glameow plush#and taking it back to their house. it was fine and i got it back thankfully but like ???#stop touching my shit ??? stop breaking and stealing my shit ???#i just dont like people messing with my stuff. its hard to even pinpoint why. i just dont like it.#so seeing her do that to luz was so irritating. girl thats not your shit leave it alone !!!!! at least put it in storage ???#its one thing to steal someones life (im not judging that part /srs) but its like. at least respect their stuff dude...#<- i am literally the only mf who cares about this jfjsjd i keep wanting to say more but i think i sound. so weird so i wont
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i cant fucking stand people who act like theyre seeing the world more realistically by being so negative all the time like youre not seeing shit realistically youre making everyone around you uncomfortable and miserable and you should go get councilling or somwthing
#⚠️#personal#i just wish thw people around mw could be normal for like 10 fucking seconds without bringing down the mood#like i cant take it anymore#ill be so god damn happy and then someone has to swoop in and be like hey heres something triggering like LEAVE ME ALONE#GOD DAMN.#oh yeah just mention self harm around me and when i say stop just be like ''im just seeing the world realistically you gotta tlak about this#shit at some point'' actually go fuck yourself holy fucking shit#i feel like screaming dude like ITS NOT SEEING SHIT REALISTICALLY YOURE JUST BEING A MASSIVE DOWNER#AND A PRICK#A MASSIVE ASSHOLE#i was having a fairly decent day too for once#god i fucking hate people#its always cis men too#why are men like this dude holy fuck#i mean i know why but like#god you just want ro punch them sometimes knock some goddamn sense into them#i hate being negative so much but god people have really been testing me lately#i need all the men in my life to explode
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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#today sucked butt......had to leave work like 25 min early cause it sucked so bad i felt sick#i am currently brainstorming more ideas for seagull products and putting way too much hope in my launch#im so desperate for it to take off because i will literally kms if i have to keep working retail#i hate it so fucking much dude!!!!!!! its so unfulfilling and ive reached my breaking point#so im on that grind. that seagull grind. were talking original paintings with prints. were talking clay seagull earrings#were talking stickers#sticker sheets#zines both printed and downloadable#t shirts#pins#i ordered seagull acrylic charms off vograce for phone charms#posters#animations#i am not fucking around. this is going to be my empire of feathery domination#im even returning to making tiktoks despite my hatred for the app. i need this shit to blow up and get people enaging#i cant take it anymore. look at my seagulls boy#vent tw#suicide mention
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that's it. im writing a suicide note on linkedin
#bheart talks#suicide tw#this is a joke but indicative of how much im GOING THROUGH IT#been making an effort not to talk about personal stuff online anymore but FUCK dude#whats the point of meds and therapy if im still broke as shit#these meds wont help me pay the bills man fuck all of this i have to wait 2 weeks#to adjust the doses every time and something happens in thsoe two weeks#that sends me off the rails spiraling with a hundred new problems#i can only see my therapist for one hour once every two weeks and i just#cant say everything and honestly idk what im even supposed to be DOING there#she just says nice things to me and i waste time talking so much and then time runs out#and i walk away with basically nothjng#and i just realized they o ly prescribed me 30 pills of ritalin instead of 60#so now i have to ration these until i can get more#meanwhile i cant get hired anywhere and my job has cut my hours so bad i only got %7#i only got $70 for my paycheck#im not going to fucking make it this month#i have no car insurance no food in the house no gas in the car and no hours to work#i applied for unemployment but it's taking forever to figure out#im hemorrhaged#im doing bad im doing bad im doing bsd#literally bg3 is the only thread im hanging by this is literally the only thing keeping me together#unsure where id be without it. definitely somewhere worse thats for sure.
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i think im like. Seriously cancelled or whatever within my circle of mutuals on instagram omfg this shits funny as fuck dude. i mean it’s doing awful things for my paranoia and trust issues but it is also fucking hilarious
#if ur curious abt why it’s cause i made fun of misogynists so much im being accused of actually being one#one of em said they ‘dont wanna be friends w me anymore because my views go against their morals’ dude……#its so infuriating because like. None of that shits serious ive made my actual views on feminism very clear and theyre just ignorjng that#i guess#it’s like. theyre just ignoring all of my experiences w misogyny because i present and act masculine#so obviously i have the same amount of power and authority over women as cis men. Obviously#however masc i present as doesnt take away the fact that ive experienced misogyny a lot#so if i want to take the piss out of that then like. why cant i#ofc trans men can be misogynistic and its gross and nasty and not suddenly okay bc theyre trans dont get me wrong. but holy fuck#most of the jokes ive made have just been really fucking stupid shit like saying i relate to ken from the barbie movie#like. fucking chill#that shits not comparable to like…. actual misogyny..?????.?
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I'm going to replace my bones with millions of tiny ants
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#its like anything involving me that isnt like super positive just gets no anything from my friends now#i cant just complain and vibe bcuz they assume i want emotional support they can't give#and they just default and placate like okay i didnt even ask u for this#i just wanted to talk about how im getting revenge on someone#like im sorry not much good is going on w me rn#but like god idk whatever ill just only talk to friends when its super positive or unrelated to my life#im not a friend anymore just something to take care of ig idk#this is why i hate relying on ppl in any capacity man#they either get resentful or they take on too much and burn out#like i tell ppl to take space when theynneed it i respect those boundaries when theyre in place#i try to voice my needs#ik i get shitty and lash out and rly miserable but fuck dude im trying#ive only told one person about crying the other day#despite that being how ive spent this past two weeks so like#idk man wtf#what do ppl want from me#they just want me to be better and im not getting their and it freaks them out ig#whatever
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#neckpain
#neckpain#i hate my life ahhhhh#dude this is a bad one#like i cant think its always in the background#im like having thoughts and then it just HURTS and now i have to focus on this shit#you dont get used to it. you never just Get Used to it. not how it works. it hurts so bad all the time.#i cant even be like ooooh im going INSANE this is driving me NUTS. cuz it is.but ive dealt with it for like what 4 years and its only slowly#getting worse#and everyones told me it was my fucking posture i just look ay my phone too much when really im just too tense because my mom abuses me#i cant be like that cuz its just a little neck pain just take some ibuprofen. its not screaming in bed youre not DISABLED it just HURTS A li#ttle#IT DOESN’T HURT A LITTLE ANYMORE BUT IVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT JT FOR SO LONG YOU THINK ITS STILL LITTLE#gof fucking damnit#nothing i do will make it better as long as im in this god damn house#cant even be sober for one day#i want to sleep#i just want to sleep man#why do i have to be like this#i really need a haircut#why is my life so fucking bad like i cant lie to myself about that#and theres nothing i can do about it#cuz im not 18#😢#i hate when ppl try to give me advice about my pain. Take ibuprofen??? Hey#maybe stop cracking your neck uhmmm??? Have you tried stretching?? no no dont do that strengthen!! Dont do this dont do that do this do#SHUT UUUUUUUUUP YOU ARE NOT SIGMA#i rlly hate everything i need someone to indulge me and tell me im so strong and im so awesome so brave im only 14 im just so young#PLS#I need to be loved i need it so bad oh shit im hungry maybe im not actually hashtag emo ok 30 tags
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a cat just bit me today at work & i decided that my year ended now. I won't leave my bed for the next weeks.
#*crying because i do have to leave my bed*#i am just so fucking done...#i dont want to do anything anymore...#i will just take some pain killers & everything will be fine...#he also bit me in my right hand...like dude i am right handed bite in the other hand... 0.o#the fact that i cant use some fingers is bothering me so much...i miss the time where i could use both my hands to 100%#which was 6h ago...
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