#i cant do shit!!!!!! literally nothing!!!! and nothing helps!!!!!
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flowerr44444 · 2 days ago
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Depends actually. The move forward with banning access to all sex ed might not come forward as long as the next elected powers in the state are from opposition or there is loud enough protest (which there will be).
The current ban from what i am aware is supposed to force PH to store IDs. (Which they don't want bcs it will cost them a lot and audits will turn up funny shit)
Nothing was said about submitting your IDs to google to access any other websites.
I can see why the concern exists though. So far they only forced out PH but no other companies out loud.
BUT. The law looks like this
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So it sets precedence to ACTUALLY blocking gore and shock sites also from minors and makes it easier to prosecute abusive dipshits who show this stuff to their kids or siblings.
If you don't know how the system works don't quote leftist pop slogans about erasing lgbt. If reps wanted it they could have censored the web years ago when csa material became prohibited to own and distribute. 🙄
Blaire White is famous for being a trans trump supporter, Chappel Roan was for red too last i checked and she is a proclaimed lesbian starlet. Non mentioning plenty other lgbtqa+ whatever children from christian red af families and other accepting churches.
The new "gender" shit is the same old conservative hash brownie that's been sold for the past forever. THEY LITERALLY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH NEW THINGS AS A POPULATION FS.
Republicans will literally never divorce it and they cant make it too tight of a leash or they lose. So lgbt stays. (Clubs and whatever will weather through, reps like business, and oh hon, rupaul made some big bucks). There is no long game. Red state plays only short ball bcs righty populists are reactive af.
U gotta stop beliving leftie online rumor bubbles or your brain will leak thru ur ears bcs the envirovment will turn too hostile for it to function
(Reps r concerned with their dicks and fertility, ph destroys both so, boom privacy banned, public health restored via shame)
PORN IS NOT AN ARTISTIC SEX EXPRESSION OR GOOD PRESS FOR MARGINALISED
hope this helps.
I doubt nudity will be banned anyway when most churches have it in droves on their fancy ass paintings with tasteful poses lol
And get like a comp-sci curse done bcs santa maria i weep for thy naive
All your posts, messages, links, anything which comes from your wifi/IP/MAC is already monitored by your web provider. Its stored by date, segregated, forworded and in much more detail examined via AI probs
They only need to flag a thing to follow it up to you hon. How do u think pedos get caught for downloading csa?
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"they weren't trying to keep kids off the site, they were trying to verify everyone's ages"
porn makes you stupid
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jazeswhbhaven · 13 hours ago
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Gusion, satan, and ronove with an mc who has a really bad eyesight and their glasses finally breaks in the middle of a battle so now they cant see shit properly 🧍🧍
Thank you for waiting anon! As someone who also has bad eyesight and sees literally nothing but blurry swirls without their glasses/contacts? I feel this MC....
Gusion
He wears glasses too...so when noticed that MC's glasses broke in the middle of battle he was quick to react and protect them during even if it meant taking a few hits. After the battle has won, he helps MC around without complaining, he would even offer his spare he keeps around but MC's prescription is vastly different. But he's determined to find a fix for MC and help them until their glasses are repaired.
Ronove
Uh oh, MC's glasses are broken? Well that's no problem for this devil who is an expert for seeing things through his lace blindfold. Despite his own sight being hindered he has no issue with helping MC, and even suggesting that maybe they should wear a blindfold like his to help them navigate the world with limited sight. With a bit of coaching and guidance it does seem to work out for MC! But it's short lived when Asmodeus lets MC know that he went to Earth to order them another pair of glasses plus a couple spares. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. MC still keeps the blindfold though as a memory and even wears it when they go to visit Ronove in his cell.
Satan
After the battle, he saw MC crawling on the ground trying to find their glasses and well, they were found but in terrible shape. Satan was as empathetic as he could be, but ultimately was here to tell MC that he was going to make sure that he would be their eyes instead. He even has MC ride on his back and he pretty much just walks around with them so they don't have to worry about running into things or getting hurt. Even when his nobles came together to fix MC's glasses and even buy new ones for them, Satan insisted on having them ride his back still and use him as their eyes. MC has a hard time saying "no" because he sounds so determined to do it. Maybe a few more days won't hurt.
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ccrv-7 · 1 month ago
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i know its probably just me doing a backwards slide mental health-wise but god. i really wasnt built to be in this world
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mrmeepsmadmind · 2 months ago
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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rapidhighway · 15 days ago
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avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to
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mohntilyet · 1 month ago
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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ganondoodle · 10 days ago
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i really hate gettign so frustrated i get extremely irritatable and so full of ... energy of just wanting to cry and punch and kick something, and for some reason i also get incredibly itchy but in a way that it wont stop and i just want to scratch my skin off, like theres a little guy running over my skin and stabbing me with a needle in the same spots over and over, every little normal thing can send me over the edge, even thigns like typos, today it was cutting a little avocado that wasnt quite ripe yet, so i wasted it, and annoying ads on TV-
been trying for ages to draw literally anything, been trying to work on a new design sheet for links shiekah arm and i thought maybe i should ditch the sketch part since all things seemed to get stuck on it, but no, i dont know what it is, been trying to just get some of those shiekah squiggly design lines on it and its been three days without anything looking even remotely like i want and its so goddamn stupid, its just some wiggly lines!!!!! and now i am stting here in tears bc im so angry and frustrated about it, all this time wasting over and over and over im so tired of it, i dont want to not draw either though, i have wasted hours doing shitty grind quests in slime rancher, i have been helping with baking cookies, been folding little paper stars, all things i hoped would help me get out of this but it wont work, i am at my wits end
crying and kicking stuff so hard it hurts you cant be the right way to cope with this but all other things that have worked in the past arent doing that...................
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waywardsalt · 4 months ago
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probably going to rework my human bellum design again
#surprise surprise im still not satisfied with it but i think i have the base down#might just rework his clothing a liiiiitle and maybe like. give him at least slightly darker skin#he still comes off as edgy or some shit to me. i still want to stick with the violent delinquent sorta angle#i just feel like its a bit much or whatever. he just seems too unremarkable but also too detailed#or something. with the scars all over. maybe its bc i cant picture him v well in the game artstyle? but ive never cared much abt that#tho looking at the comms ive gotten of him. he seems fine. the x on the eyepatch might be a bit much#maybe he can customize it when he materializes it idk and the x is a default. its made of sand when you inspect it#it might also help to write him more. force myself to think abt him in situations#in other news im thinking abt damien possible post ph healing magic. i like the idea i have#i really need to fiure out more defined post ph arcs it does bother me how aimless it is#i know vague stuff but very little specifics. it needs a fucking plot#i do want to keep bellums human form making him look closely related to link. i like that#its funny if nothing else#salty talks#damiens fine hes just a guy he doesnt need anything too fancy. if i think abt it too long my certainty dissolves#wow i love being insecure ablut my ideas. i love rsd. ohhhhhhhhh boyyy#now its a minor vent. w/e. at rhis rate im. gonna start talking abt how my job scheduled me on a shift#with the literal bare minimum number of scheduled workers so if its slightly busy its going to be a living hell#at least i get paid for closing so when closing inevitably takes over an hour bc i have to do it alone im getting paid more#if i wasnt motivated by money itd be so fucking over for me in the workforce
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dinkdonkjoolian · 14 days ago
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me (a very reasonable person/sar) genuinely contemplating suicide because of a minor inconvenience or having to actively restrain myself from lashing out at my closest and most beloved family and friends over insignificant and alltogether harmless mistakes/percieved slights against me. both of these things happen literally daily can somebody please just end it for me
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guinevereslancelot · 2 months ago
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hopefully i'm not getting ahead of myself with the second job idea but i'm v excited abt the possibility
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bitegore · 2 months ago
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ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.
#red rambles#im working on a character who i made up years and years ago and wasnt even happy with then because he didnt seem to have enough like#interior thoughts he was just like a guy who killed people when he was stressed and his life was constantly stressful and then he killed on#person too many and they were like 'this is fucking untenable and he has to die' and then they killed him#which is soooooooooo absolutely nothing honestly. Like it works as a barebones summary but i want to stress there was actually straight up#nothing else there. the entire rest of his whole whatnot was just being entangled with Haven who is a different character who at the time#ALSO felt unsatisfyingly lacking in interiority but at lesat he had really complex motivations and action flowcharts. that werent just 'i#get grumpy and i just go kill some random person with no regard for what the consequences will be and then i am so mean and i kill you'#now theres a lot more happening. i really didnt. like.#okay so i had a Backstory worked out but it was vague because i didnt know what the fuck he WANTEDDDDDDD right like. i had no motivations a#literally all except 'oohhh i kill people ooohhh i like killing people ooohhh im erratic i kill people' and the background i HAD was like.#Upper class scion of some rich family whose family honest to god just did not like him very much and also [gestures vaguely] i guess he#maybe kicked dogs or something and then he ??nebulous timeline meets haven and then kills his sister or kills his sister and very quickly#thereafter meets haven but i usually lean toward the former because haven LOVES convincing people to kill their whole families its like#cathartic for him because he would love to kill his entire family but physically cannot do it. but like kind of the implications of this#as far as i was concerned given this is set in the mid 1800s was like. ehhh he's getting away with this because he's rich white and male an#it pays to turn a blind eye to his indiscretions or w/e. a genderswap means that she'd be subject to a lot more scrutiny on basis of like#misogyny. LOL. and i already had the preexisting 'hates half sibling' (i genderswapped the sister into a brother because why not) and 'hate#parents' and 'parents strongly dislike her' and 'unsettling' and it worked nicely to start giving me actual fucking. Literally anything to#work with there. because it means that by going off with Haven she walks out of one situation where she has like 0 agency into another one#and like to be clear i respect anyone who is sitting around in haven's general vicinity for snapping and just starting to kill people. me t#but this works. SOOOOOOOOOO much better for real#im still working the kinks out but like also this means that she wins. she wins like multiple times actually. she comes closer to killing#haven than anyone since he learned what fucking species he was and causes him more trouble in the interest of getting the FUCK out of there#than anyone else has and then she fucking gets what she was going for against literally every effort haven could've made over ~five decades#get owned loser.#every time i draw her i cant help it i write some shit like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED on it even though i wrote the fucking narrative i know#it will never fucking happen and thats why she does all this shit instead#in another world she'd be like the wildly capable owner of Raytheon 2 or some other shit like that. like she'd never be a nice or good#person but she wouldn't be dead. god she could be in charge of a country or some shit. Alas. Please get divorced.
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thediktatortot · 1 year ago
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#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own#I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own#to make my own or to spread out and have my own space#People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult#and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking#fictional shit all day#sure I work on the property but so fucking what#I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do#I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things#and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone#idk#I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about#everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe#more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain#that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck#I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation#I can't contribute so whats the fucking point#The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time#not like it's going to change anything#if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time#my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything#not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age#honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away#maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people#idk i'm just fucking done with everything#I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos#I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness#but I'm also not a dating person#I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around#i want a life time relationship
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grumpyghostdoodles · 1 year ago
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feeling blue. palette used "I Will not Die" from color me curious blog.
things are going to be okay
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danielnelsen · 6 months ago
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well this is what ive been doing for the past 2 weeks
#sorry for using chrome. drive sucks on firefox. i use firefox for everything else. literally it's open right next to this for other shit#so what im doing is making a list of every creature you ever encounter in dai (that part is complete. it took a week)#and making note of its important stats and now its chance of each elemental immunity with the walk softly trial on#because i am genuinely planning that solo nightmare all trials run and the most important thing is making sure i can actually hit everythin#you will notice that NOTHING is EVER immune to spirit damage. that is due to a bug that i personally discovered in the trial implementation#the only creatures that can gain immunity to spirit through the trial are cretahl and hurlock alphas (only the ones in the descent)#and the only creatures naturally immune to spirit are in dlc (mostly trespasser but some in the other dlc too)#so basically what this means is that you NEED spirit runes lmao. or i guess runes to damage specific types of enemy#the least likely immunity of the three core elements is electric which is good because chain lightning is VERY powerful for solo runs#you've just gotta be mindful of hitting yourself because friendly fire WILL be on for this run fml#oh so those percentages arent technically correct. they're inflated for most creatures#for normal-ranked creatures (rank 0) there's a 20% chance they'll be promoted to elite (rank 1) and then all elites--#(whether promoted to elite or already elite) have that chance of immunity. so you can divide them by 5 for normal-ranked creatures#except for the 100% ones. those are from preexisting immunities#yes im putting way too much thought into all of this. i went into the all trials and the solo nightmare runs without doing too much work#it's just that on nightmare you get FULL immunities and with no companions you've gotta make sure you can deal with that#because you might end up in a situation where you just cant damage something AT ALL#(a good reason to diversify your abilities. also you CAN damage them it's just capped at 1 damage per hit)#and no abilities that decrease resistances help because an immunity is +1000% resistance and nothing comes close to getting that under 100#im having fun at least. i wouldnt keep doing this if it was too boring#some of it has been tedious (especially going through some of the areas with dozens of the same enemy) but ultimately feels worth it#the spreadsheet has 5678 lines ftr. fortunately around 2.5k are npcs so i dont have to do anything more with them#anyway. i usually post about what da-related thing im up to every now and then and it's been ages so i thought id give an update lmao#personal#da#dai#undescribed#there are also a lot of interesting things like. you'll see that poison spiders CANT be immune to nature damage#and that's because it wont apply an immunity if the creature is already immune to that element OR its associated effect#so poison spiders arent immune to nature damage but they ARE immune to poison so they wont gain nature immunity from the trial
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wiredsmi1e · 8 months ago
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vent tw .
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
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