#and like 3 of my coworkers lol
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hopefully i'm not getting ahead of myself with the second job idea but i'm v excited abt the possibility
#i miss the kiddos!!!!#and like 3 of my coworkers lol#but it may not be any real benefit to have someone who can only come in for 1.5 hours a day to close#bc they would be paying me potentially more than one of my coworkers to do the same thing#then they would have two people working middle shift bc im gonna close but they're still paying them like full time and then paying me also#idk it may not work for them#however theybcant retain people for shit in that program and nobody wants to close except me lol#so it mught be worth it#if they can offer more middle or opening shifts to people#also what they really need is a fourth full time teacher innthat room but they'll never do it#but another part time teacher could help bridge the gap in coverage so that it works#maybe#idk#i would really love to do it i think#bc all the issues there were related to being full time but i dont think they'll be too hard on me if i'm part time#like i'm an independent contractor basically and i have another full time job so its not like im desperate#they cant shit on me or ask me to do anything but the shift i told them i could do lol#so it should be fine#there's literally no superviser during closing i'm basically my own boss and there's nothing to do except hand the kids off#then clean and lock up#no decisions whatsoever#im letting myself get way too excited tho#bc it could potentially not work out#this has been a shitpost
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I've been rewatching the first two seasons of The Bear so I can watch the third season that just came out and man the character writing in this show makes me froth at the mouth it's like some of the best arcs I've ever seen in a TV series
#little infodump in the tags bc no one I know is watching this show so I need to spill all my thoughts somewhere LOL#Richie is my favorite he makes me go ballistic especially in the episode Forks#just rewatched that episode and it always makes me cry when he has his moment where he finally Gets it#he's such a shit stain of a guy I would probably hate him if I knew him in real life lmfao but as a character he is so fantastically writte#I also really love Marcus but he hasn't had as big of a development as Richie has#Sydney is awesome but she's. so much like me in the way where I cringe at her sometimes LMAO#when she's acting super sarcastic and holier than thou I can't look directly at it it's too much like me when I'm at my worst DHF;LKDFH#god I hope Marcus and Sydney get together they are so cute#unusually good chemistry for a straight ship LOL /hj#I also love Tina but my only complaint with her is that I kinda wish her arc in the first season took a little more time#bc she started off as a real asshole just like all the characters did but she had a much more sudden switch#but I guess it makes sense for her now that I think about it bc she's shown to be a very sweet and compassionate person#it's just that she doesn't trust Sydney at first so once she gets over that then she's sweet with her too#excited to learn more about Ebra he reminds me a lot of an old coworker#also obvs no spoilers for season 3 please I haven't got there yet#lyla's talking again
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web jon is so sillay
#hes so funny to me#i think he would be the biggest self important dorkus on the planet as a web avatar#like yeah hes actively choosing to fuck with ppls free will but. i think hes funny about it so its fine#also i think he would be kinda bad at it lol. like he makes it maybe 2 seasons and then he has to stop bc sasha figured it out#and then hes just a morally gray friend <3#my art#doodles#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#web avatar jon#archivist sasha#sasha james#kinda#martin blackwood#timothy stoker#jonmartin#i just finished this web jon fic that was pretty good but it had this bit where martin has dreams of spiders and i think thats awesome#ofc its horrifying there but i think its funny. i keep telling my coworker about my romantic spider dreams and he gets so weird about it#if you cant read my handwriting. sorry lol best i can do
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i've got you
#tcd#dame#princess#medieval fantasy#medieval art#medieval#knight#hm!#women!!!!#wlw#i think this is the best bg i've done by far#ugh nature is so beautiful#anyway tomorrow i have to go cashier for my boss at my OLD workplace if that makes sense lol so i'll probably see my old coworkers#theres this guy there who always looks at me in such a disgusting way i hope he doesnt show up i dont like#:/#imagine not respecting women!!!!#nothing is grosser than the eyes running you up and down like ewww makes you feel like prey#sir with all due respect#dont <3
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Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?
#Long story short: I’m quitting my job! Yippee!! 🎉#Don’t wanna get TOO into it but I’m so fucking tired of being treated like shit and getting blamed for things completely out of my control#I’m done. I’ve BEEN done for months at this point#And now it’s at the point where my boss doesn’t think I’m doing my job right bc she keeps finding issues that again. Aren’t my fault#I’m sorry I can’t control everything for you! I don’t have that kind of power! I can’t make things magically happen the way you want!!#My other coworkers have been undergoing the same bullshit treatment so I know I’m not alone#But yeah I’m getting the hell out of dodge. My mental health has been sooooooo bad lately#I cannae. I’m going to end up dead in a ditch at this rate#Had the WORST panic attack of my life yesterday and my mom and I were both like. Yeah. It’s time for you to leave#Have fun running the department without me! Bye!! :)))))#Shima speaks#Vent#Anyway I’m a goddamn mess. Sorry. Lol!#I’m dreading going back to work on Monday I would literally rather claw my own eyeballs out#It SUCKS bc I know none of this is my fault but I still feel like shit anyway.#And I WANT to draw bc it’s the one thing that makes me happy but I just#Can’t. Right now. I’m not in a good emotional state#It feels like physical torture to sit down at my desk and put my pen to my tablet#Slams my head into the wall#I’m soooo tired girlies. I’m so over it#Anyway. Send me asks. Keep me company while I try not to have another breakdown. Tee hee <3
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Kiss/fuck marry kill is such a funny game because it's like. Are you SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to this person, LIKE THEM and think they'd be good in a LONG-TERM PARTNERSHIP, or HATE THEIR GUTS AND WANT THEM TO DIE?
#just realized i phrased this post exclusively for the one person variant of the game. i don't want to rephrase it. it's still funny right#do u think theyre hot a good person or DESERVING OF DEATH#i said this#kiss marry kill#lets see... follow/mute/block <- more of a scale#hug/intercourse/kiss <- in what way are u attracted/each of these 3 ppl attractive#asassinate/execute/murder<- same but for types of hatred#looks/knowledge/reputation <- whose looks knowledge and reputation would you want#(all of these can be played like the og - either 3 ppl to sort or 1 you decide on)#marry/meet/mother <- marry meet once or have as your mother.#sorry i wanted alliteration a better one would be marry/acquaintance or friend/meet once#coworker/co-conspirator/co-parent <- would u rather work conspire or raise a child together#thats kinda like. different parts of marriage separated lol#follow mute block was my worst lol not only because digital kissmarrykill has prolly been done before anywyas
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Not too bad a day at the office yesterday--helps that we can use our patio in nice weather again 😌--leading into a decent arm day workout 💪🏽 (despite how long it took to get a bench for chest press work 😩)
#ore no kao#was a bit sneaky with a guy or two nearby in the locker room lol#also ffffuck saw my big gym crush two nights in a row and both times we noticed each other more (and pretty sure he made me blush yday lol)#and we still haven't gotten to talk 😩#[or more i still havent gotten out of my head to say something hoping he would first lol]#(*made me blush Tues since i was t9o tired to post this last night lol)#maybe i'll take my coworker's advice and just find myself working out near him with weight needing a spot... 🤔#it hit me last night we've eyed each other here/there for 3-4 months already 😳#[i shouldnt be as shy about trying to talk with him since i literally just had my friend over again on sat for some fun lol but 😩]#i feel like we should've still texted a bit more by now though but he does seem to not be a texter or indeed too busy... hm
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bats eyelashes do you have any resources on tyche’s backstory. if not would you like to talk about her <3 anything about her in fact <3 i love her so and i especially love her with lucanis even though i know she is going through the horrors tm as soon as veilgaurd ends and she has to deal with his whole crow family. feel free to talk about her emotions over that whole ordeal too because I’m very interested in it and I like your thoughts about how it would down!! just shaking my cup at you atp spare tyche pls. much love!!
tyche is. yeah. “i’m the only normal person here” is a thought she has had multiple times throughout this game and it’s only true to an extent. because everyone else around her just leads very intense lives. a woman who thinks the only way out is through but instead of finding a path out she thinks she can just chainsaw her way out of the hedge maze if it gets her to her destination faster. chronically unable to say “i love you” and avoids getting attached. this whole thing was meant to parallel solas a little and the talk they have in the fade where she’s like “…was there nobody in the inquisition you care about” is almost desperate. solas picks up on that like it’s a surprise tool that will him him later
(rest under the cut because i literally just keep going sorry anon)
particularly, a big thing for her is her family, her life in rivain, and how she spends most of this game tearing herself up about it and refusing to get them involved in this ‘saving the world’ bullshit she’s doing. woman who writes to her mother and says “everything is fine. this is the easiest job i’ve ever done. the elven gods are stupid as fuck btw” and the letter is about weisshaupt LOL .. one of the craziest things in vg for me was finding out just how many personal quests involved the companion’s families, because the more she saw her friends lose the more it solidified this idea in her mind that she has done the right thing by isolating her family. she’s usually very direct but this is the one thing she’s very touchy about.
the ‘tevinter slave’ thing that a lord of fortune rook mentions to me is a full out lie told by tyche so no one goes digging into her business. she originally went into this thinking “they less we know about each other, the better. i have a life to get back to after this” and then fails miserably at trying to stay detached and finds herself really liking everyone AND fully inserts herself into their business. she can’t just hear things like “my brother is being manipulated” “my mom doesn’t care about me” “my grandmother is gone” “my baby skeleton son who has done no wrong” “the dwarves need us” “i have to save the griffons. the identity crisis doesn’t matter so much” “i love my hometown and i can’t save it” etc etc and not desperately want to do something to help
sort of meta wise as well because people have critiqued how it’s always rook helping, but not the companions asking rook if they need anything. not to me. not if that was on purpose. a kind of, “i can fix this, and then we can all go home. because that’s what i want, of course. nevermind how these guys have changed my life. i’m sure the hole in my heart doesn’t mean anything”. AND its HEAVY on the lucanis romance. every moment she spends with him, the worse she falls in love, and the more she’s convinced there’s nothing but tragedy to come when he leaves her for the crows. the nuclear level fallout that almost occurs when lucanis says he’ll stay with her as long as he can hold off the crows is so bad. she takes her own duties so seriously and doesn’t expect herself to be what changes things, for anyone. not even necessarily because of low self esteem, but that she is the most pragmatic woman alive, and to a fault <3
you can imagine the weeks when she’s trapped in the fade prison when her family actually shows up like “minrathous just got nuked and my daughter is nowhere to be seen. something has to be wrong. what the fuck happened” and everyone gets about a month to come to terms with the fact that tyche has lied for the better part of a year (not sure about veilguard timeline. i think its minimum 4 months) and unfortunately have to find out a lot more about her through her siblings, and get to stew on that information for a while. i picture awkward conversations and maybe some bickering, and it’s lucanis who is like “well right now she’s dead. so can we focus on getting her back so we can actually talk with her?” <- man who bared his whole life to her and found out she didn’t do the same. i love self sabotage. i think they have a very long talk when she gets back, and the last minute sex has to be shifted a bit in my mind to make some room for what tyche assumes will be a break up speech that turns into a declaration of love and patience. this rewires her brain
aaand the crow stuff (sorry it has taken so long to get here) makes more sense to everyone and how tyche has reacted when they see how much of a unit her family is. tyche can’t picture the kind of betrayal and fighting because she has never experienced it. there’s probably some longing from lucanis here (🌀🌀 oooh you wanna leave your fucked up home sooo bad 🌀🌀) . illario in particular to her is absolutely unthinkable, and despite my adoration for him, tyche hates his guts <3 she also is very close with her grandma and doesn't at all understand caterina, but she's also primed to expect the best from family and it doesn't totally compute what caterina has done until lucanis (or illario. the angst potentials of it coming from illario compel me) actually spells it out for her and then the family dinners get REALLY bad
#sorry this is already so long. she has other backstory details that fill this out but for now im leaving it here THANK U ANON FOR ASKING MEE#i love to talk about my beautiful girl. the only woman ever. MWAH#as much as she is trying to be JUST coworkers#tyche is at her core a kind person and she can't ignore things like this <3 maybe she would have flourished in the inquistion tbh LOL#also a chronic worrier. and just a person who cares deeply#i love her. anyways#tyche laidir#veilguard spoilers#answered#anonymous#also didnt go into depth abt the crows + family too much sorry. its not like im not thinking abt it tho#im looking at the word count and deciding that enough is enough. LOL#edit. fixed the read more i forget fiddling with it makes it drop a paragraph#the point is. with varric dead someone has to fill out the lying dwarf ecological niche and its not going to be harding
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WAIT i never complained abt my scheduling lol. still have not seen my actual boss more than that one five seconds and me and main coworker are supposed to work coverage out amongst ourselves bc thats more relevant fine and okay. but i ask her about what i should switch to going more part time and off of being Fulltime In Training and she says oh ill talk to [boss] about it. and then does and tells me oh [boss] wants to talk to u about that today or tomorrow.
she never does and shes never in her office so i dont hear anything by friday when i work w my second coworker. who i dont really think either of us vibes w the other lol weve been nice but im happy not to work w her. and the feeling is mutual bc she told me oh is this ur last friday i didnt think u were working [boss] told me u were going to be switching to mon-thru-thursday. OKAY? thats really funnily pointed but WHY DID SHE TELL U AND NOT MEEEEEEE. why cant i just know what im working more than two days in advance lolllllll. i am not made for this pwease.
#ITS ALSO ONE DAY MORE THAN I WAS PREPARED TO WORK. its fine but#another thing i havent been told: how long my shifts are supposed to be??? i just stay till the end of my main coworkers shifts bc#eventually ill have days by myself so i want to be used to what the last hour is like#but second coworker kicked me out early first time i worked w her (again: lol) bc i 'already worked my eight hours' WAS I SUPPOSED TO#KNOW IM ONLY SUPPOSED TO WORK EIGHT HOURS. no ones been stopping me but if i stay the last hour mon-thru-thursday#thatll put me over the 20-30 hours. like. halftime employment classification im in. am i getting anyone in trouble for that am i#wasting labor hours or something lol. I DONT KNOW. NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING#BWAHH!!!!!!!!!#i really wanted to be all set to like. approach my assertive communication properly from the start here lol i want to start#acting like im thirty but ive been thrown for such a loop since the first surprise shift and then had zero time to catch my breath and#a million other stressors that take up any energy or fucks i would have for chasing down answers kjsfg WHATEVER!!!!!#give me overtime and extra pay then <3 until anyone tells me otherwise
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i wanna live on my own again …. i’m so ready to put my books on a shelf and my clothes in a closet
#absolutely adore my parents but i’m just excited to Have My Own Place again. where i can unpack all my shit & decorate & stay for a year#and be back downtown tbh. the suburbs are very quiet & it’s peaceful but i feel so lonely out here#i’m gonna have to wait til october for prices to drop a bit but i’m determined to make it work#i got a dope job as a neurofeedback technician but it’s only 9-15h/week ($22cad/h) soooo that ain’t gonna cut it#little nervous cuz frankly i dunno if i can handle working more than ~30h/week rn & also. holy fuck it’s hard finding decent part-time jobs#although! last night my old manager asked if i’d consider coming back to the restaurant to host/do cash on a casual basis/for the holidays#which means i’m probably going to end up balancing 3 jobs again. which is kinda fucked up lol but it’s good money so i can’t turn it down#anyways i’m getting ahead of myself#i do feel like i’m genuinely looking forward to things for the first time in a while though#like grad school next year & tattoos this fall & hopefully making friends w new coworkers n shit. even if it’s unbelievably stressful 👍#pegasus speaks#hi btw i am alive. i just haven’t really been very interested in tumblr at all lately. which is kinda weird but probably for the best
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feeling oversocialised like an angery little dog
#3 solid weeks of living with coworkers i dont know well#and one has serious tidiness OCD and im a naturally messy bitch lol#i like em both but my god im going loopy#out of fried-brain-ness i moved the Clean ones backpack to the floor of the car for a few minutes .. got Told Off and still feel bad lol#shes also my supervisor so it was like oh oops yikes#SIGHS i kinda want some tension relief like a littol cry or something but it isnt happening#one of the bunk T side effects for me is Not Crying As Easy (the other is blood pressure and cholesterol related)#its the other guy's last week with the company next week too as well ... sad he's nice#rory's ramblings
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YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABT KIRYU HONESTLY
I’ve ranted to friends before abt how Kiryu is just genuinely so stupid that it comes of as dick-ish and inconsiderate to the people around him ESPECIALLY majima like?? He absolutely knows majima would walk through hell for Kiryu and takes full advantage of that in the worst ways and I don’t even think he fully realizes that that’s what he’s doing. Like please I love kazumaji as much as the next person but really only at a very specific point in time when they were both at their least fucked up gsgdfdf (kiwami 1 obv)
All is to say I agree please put the whole rgg fandom in an intro to literature class I think they’d greatly benefit gsgdf
kiryu is one of my favorite characters BECAUSE he's just so ass backwards. like On Paper he's a good guy: left the yakuza and is trying to live a normal life, has an orphanage and takes care of kids etc etc. but then you like. ACTUALLY look into him and its so funny.. he's such a dick and he doesn't even know and i love him. he just wants to do what he thinks is right and SOMETIMES he's right but his judgement also puts other people in peril (i.e. majima and daigo)
#snap chats#kiryu i love you... youre so strange LOL#you had kazama as a role model tho so... i mean.. like i appreciate mr og dilf but idk if id die on a hill for him#anyway assigned reading time you're all reading brave new world after great gatsby. solely because i love that book <3#but yeah........ like.... yes i do have eyes to see majima has a particular fixation on kiryu#but it's definitely not mutual- or at least not to extent people act like it is#majima's interest in him even wanes by like. 3/4 like even majima's over him for the most part LOL#ive said it before but they really do just have Coworker I Respect energy. to me.#kiwami 1 absolutely altered their relationship with the majima everywhere system on the highest of keys#LIKE YOU CAN LIKE KAZUMAJI. just remember what actually happens in front of our eyeballs yk#and dont say kiryu values him more than his kids oh my god ENOUGH#but im rambling now and i think my rice is almost done so im gonna. make balls :)
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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anyway #lifeupdate i got dumped like 3 days ago and since then have been swinging wildly between a state of depression and a state of uncontrollable energy so either you guys are all about to get an insane amount of fic updates or i'm going to delete my account and kill myself. idkidk! anything can happen. i'm keeping my options open
#and honestly the depressive state has been going on for the past like 4 months it's just progressively been getting worse and getting dumped#really excelerated it#but you know what won't be getting an update for a while?#my parkner series#because that#hurts#bad#hurts bad#hurts.#wow#too close to home#anyway ive been going to work for the past 3 days with swollen eyelids because of how hard ive been crying#every night#LOL#my coworkers are in fact noticing but i have only told one of them because he's the funniest option#is this tmi#might delete
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tuve como three dif captions for this post pero lo q sea
#i always love scenes of a character sitting on the toilet at work smoking so heres me illustrating recreating that but w my pen like a loser#<- caption one#i was playing subway surfer too LOL#look at my tattooooosss <3#<- caption two#my tatts -> 🥴🐸✨🖤#<- caption three#ok to rb#mi cara#sona#ANYWAYS LOL#bro my shirt was so tight today and it was KILLING MEEEE but i thought to myself im the best looking lesbian in this place#(all the girls here are straight 😭)#OH BUT ACTUALLY A COWORKER IVE NEVER MET SAID THEU LIKED MY STYLE TODAY AND SAID THEY NOTICED ME WHEN I WAS GOING TO MY INTERVIEW AND#THEY SAID THEY THOUGHT THEYD NEVER SEE ME AGAIN AND THAT I WAS CUTE#SO RIDING THAT HIGH#THEY HAD A RIDICULOUS LIL BOB CUT TOO SO U KNOW THEY MIGHT B GAY LOL
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I feel like we as a society have not actually come that far in terms of it being accepted to talk about mental health openly. In online spaces it has but not in real life and especially not in work places. What has become more accepted to talk about is stress specifically. To the point where I feel it has almost become a catch all for 'mental health'. I feel like stress is the only acceptable mental health issue because then at least you were a good worker, you worked so hard it broke your mental health so that's ok you deserve rest and treatment now. But try talking about depression, anxiety, ptsd, bipolar etc etc etc and it's still pretty much something people judge you for, out there in the real world.
#i've been asked about a million times#by coworkers and friends/family and healthcare professionals if i'm stressed#related to my insomnia i mean#but never about other aspects of mental health#so if you answer no to stress it's basically interpreted as me answering 'my insomnia is not mental health related' which is not the same#i've also looked for a psychologist specializing in trauma near me#but there's only like 3 billion stress and work related psychologists in my town lol
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