#and like 3 of my coworkers lol

[guinevereslancelot]

hopefully i'm not getting ahead of myself with the second job idea but i'm v excited abt the possibility

[sparky-is-spiders]

Jonelias Week Day 1 (Which is definitely today I swear), for the prompt "No Powers AU"

This one... maybe got away from me. This is actually only the first half of what I've written so far, and probably the first third overall! I do plan to post this to Ao3 at some point (although I suspect I'll need to do a lengthy round of editing first lmao). It's some very self-indulgent nonsense, which is a lot of what I write, but now it's getting put in the main tags of a ship during said ship's event week. So. It may also be a little bit "aromantic dude tries to figure out what having a crush is supposed to be like." Also a lot of "dude who took Principals of Accounting once pretending it knows what office work is like." Anyway, quick warning before we begin, and the rest will be under the read-more:

Stalking (played for laughs) for most of the fic.

Just. A weird amount of obsession.

Ok that should be it I think. Fic under the cut.

Jon's new boss was, quite possibly, the most boring man in the world. He wore the same outfit every day (pale dress shirt with dark unpatterned tie and gray slacks and matching suit jacket). The only personal effect in his entire office was a potted plant on the windowsill (some sort of succulent, and definitely fake). He always arrived to work exactly half an hour early and left exactly half an hour late. The only hobby he appeared to show any interest in was scheduling, which he seemed to find both deeply engaging and remarkably irritating. In fact, he was apparently so opposed to the idea of mixing his work with his personal life that he might as well not have existed beyond the walls of their office. Jon had never been more fascinated by anyone else in his entire life.

It stared with the transfer to the accounting department. Elias had met with him personally to get him acclimated to his new role. He had been blandly polite, and blandly handsome, and Jon had stopped listening to him about five minutes into their conversation. It was probably bad form, really. The software Elias was droning on and on about sounded like it was about to become a central feature of his days. He really should've been paying attention to it. Instead, he pretended to make eye contact while zeroing in on the top of Bouchard's forehead (a very useful trick, really) and became inordinately focused on the small lock of hair that had fallen across it. It was terribly distracting, and Jon had wondered how he hadn't noticed it. And then he wondered how it had come to be there. And then he had built up an entire story involving a murder, an illicit affair with the assistant director of marketing, and the potted succulent. And then he had noticed Bouchard eying him with what could've been suspicion or amusement or irritation or nothing whatsoever, and had been forced to rapidly pretend to care about their company's bad debt expense policy. Bouchard had indulged him, and had spoken with the calm authority of someone who knew what they were talking about, and had even managed to avoid being overtly condescending (a feat forever out of Jon's reach). At the end he had shaken Jon's hand (with a nice, firm grip), and had told him "I'm looking forward to working with you, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful member of our team." Jon had left that meeting with a mind shrouded in a fog of boredom and a faint sensation of warmth which he decided was best attributed to curiosity and left otherwise unexamined. Over the next few weeks, Jon had tried to subtly inquire into Bouchard's life. At the time, he had been naively under the impression that surely he must have let slip something about his life; some odd quirk or funny story or harmless bit of information which could justify Jon's blooming curiosity. Unfortunately; "He lives in Chelsea, I'm pretty sure?" (Sasha) "He's currently in a meeting. Honestly Jon, you'll be better off just sending an email. Now can I please get back to work?" (Rosie, probably lying about the meeting) "He actually lives here in the office. Set up a cozy little home away from home in one of the storage closets and sneaks out at night to raid the canteen. And he's having an affair with the assistant director of marketing." (Tim, definitely lying (but maybe a mind reader? Also, full of brilliant ideas for places Jon could maybe set up a cot whenever he needs to stay overnight)) Clearly, Jon would have to take matters into his own hands if he wanted answers. That was fine. It could be his own private little research project.

Jon liked to think that the entire thing had actually been quite reasonable, and that he had acted within the bounds of their pre-established relationship as employee and supervisor. Surely any rational person had to realize that nobody could possibly be that uninteresting. Anyone would be curious as to what dark secrets Bouchard his behind his well-tailored suits and polite, professional demeanor. … perhaps most rational persons would not meticulously record the movements, behavior, and daily appearance of their colleague in a discreet notebook (with annotations, color-coding, and graphs where appropriate), but Jon had always prided himself on his dedication to research and understanding. So far Jon had collected frustratingly little data. If Bouchard was hiding anything, it wasn't apparent from his schedule (see pages 8-13, figure 2.b), his eating habits (see page 22), or his lone plant (see page five, figure 1.c). His breaks did seem specially timed to avoid other people (and he appeared not to engage in many social behaviors generally), but he never acted irritated or otherwise unhappy to encounter one of his subordinates, so Jon wasn't entirely sure if it was deliberate avoidance or simple coincidence. Really, the only truly odd thing about him was his inexplicable interest in Jon. That very morning, for example, Bouchard had stopped by his cubicle for a fifteen minute discussion on the upcoming Annual Team Luncheon, an event Jon had never attended before (due to an annual migraine which coincidentally always happened to occur on the exact date of the luncheon), which Jon did not plan to attend, and which honestly sounded like some sort of violation of the Geneva Convention. The topic itself was not especially odd (small talk was an archaic tradition which had stubbornly clung on in every workplace Jon had ever set foot in), but Bouchard's low propensity for inter-office socialization combined with the fact that he had both chosen Jon specifically as his conversational partner was… highly suspicious. Most people who encountered Jon inevitably concluded that he was more effort than he was worth (an attitude Jon mostly appreciated).

And of course, there had also been their interaction two days ago, when Elias had paused briefly to inquire as to whether Jon would be staying late, and what he was working on, and if he might perhaps consider heading home soon because there was only so much overtime they could pay him. Or on Friday, when he had managed to hold two separate conversations with Jon where very little was said. Honestly, Jon somewhat suspected that Elias had spoken to him more in the past few weeks than he had spoken to any of their colleagues for the entire time Jon had been there to observe him. Most of Jon's notes were now dedicated to their interactions. From his cot in the unused storage room (which was indeed a good place to stay overnight, thank you Tim), he could jot down everything he recalled about their interaction; it had begun at 8:32 and had concluded at 8:47; the weather was warm and slightly humid, although the office interior remained at a comfortable 21 °C. Bouchard's shirt had been a nice, cool gray, which complemented the silver of his eyes. Jon (who had been busy digging for his favorite pen (the ink was a lovely deep green color, and it was usually kept on the left side of the top desk drawer, and Jon had no idea where else it could have possibly gone)) had settled on "irritation" as his tone, which Bouchard either had not noticed or had not cared enough to acknowledge. He had easily dominated the conversation, and Jon could admit in the sanctity of his research journal that his voice had been soothing enough to cool away some of Jon's annoyance. He wrote his conclusion: Subject behaved near-identically in tone, posture, body language, and apparent mood as he has in all previous communications. Subject displayed no strong thoughts or opinions on subject of discussion nor conversational partner. Interaction was pleasant but slightly dull, no new information discovered. It was almost exactly the same as every previous conclusion. Jon had to admit, so many months with so little progress was… discouraging. He shifted on the narrow mattress and winced when his movements aggravated his backache (which was surely unrelated to his frequent occupancy of the cot). It was becoming more and more apparent that the only possible solution was to do some actual, direct investigation. His first idea (break into Bouchard's office) seemed a tad far (also, he didn't know how to pick locks). His second idea (follow him home) seemed a stretch further than the previous one, and was perhaps best saved as a last resort. His third idea (something something computers? (perhaps "idea" was a bit generous)) would almost certainly require Sasha, who would have questions Jon couldn't answer. He flipped idly through his notes, half-skimming, half-thinking. It was only when his gaze landed on figure 2.b, Weekly Schedule of E. Bouchard, that he actually came up with something reasonable. Something actionable.

[lylahammar]

I've been rewatching the first two seasons of The Bear so I can watch the third season that just came out and man the character writing in this show makes me froth at the mouth it's like some of the best arcs I've ever seen in a TV series

[fiendishartist2]

web jon is so sillay

[chevs-and-spiders]

i've got you

[shima-draws]

Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?

[icantalk710]

Not too bad a day at the office yesterday--helps that we can use our patio in nice weather again 😌--leading into a decent arm day workout 💪🏽 (despite how long it took to get a bench for chest press work 😩)

[mohntilyet]

bats eyelashes do you have any resources on tyche’s backstory. if not would you like to talk about her <3 anything about her in fact <3 i love her so and i especially love her with lucanis even though i know she is going through the horrors tm as soon as veilgaurd ends and she has to deal with his whole crow family. feel free to talk about her emotions over that whole ordeal too because I’m very interested in it and I like your thoughts about how it would down!! just shaking my cup at you atp spare tyche pls. much love!!

tyche is. yeah. “i’m the only normal person here” is a thought she has had multiple times throughout this game and it’s only true to an extent. because everyone else around her just leads very intense lives. a woman who thinks the only way out is through but instead of finding a path out she thinks she can just chainsaw her way out of the hedge maze if it gets her to her destination faster. chronically unable to say “i love you” and avoids getting attached. this whole thing was meant to parallel solas a little and the talk they have in the fade where she’s like “…was there nobody in the inquisition you care about” is almost desperate. solas picks up on that like it’s a surprise tool that will him him later

(rest under the cut because i literally just keep going sorry anon)

particularly, a big thing for her is her family, her life in rivain, and how she spends most of this game tearing herself up about it and refusing to get them involved in this ‘saving the world’ bullshit she’s doing. woman who writes to her mother and says “everything is fine. this is the easiest job i’ve ever done. the elven gods are stupid as fuck btw” and the letter is about weisshaupt LOL .. one of the craziest things in vg for me was finding out just how many personal quests involved the companion’s families, because the more she saw her friends lose the more it solidified this idea in her mind that she has done the right thing by isolating her family. she’s usually very direct but this is the one thing she’s very touchy about.

the ‘tevinter slave’ thing that a lord of fortune rook mentions to me is a full out lie told by tyche so no one goes digging into her business. she originally went into this thinking “they less we know about each other, the better. i have a life to get back to after this” and then fails miserably at trying to stay detached and finds herself really liking everyone AND fully inserts herself into their business. she can’t just hear things like “my brother is being manipulated” “my mom doesn’t care about me” “my grandmother is gone” “my baby skeleton son who has done no wrong” “the dwarves need us” “i have to save the griffons. the identity crisis doesn’t matter so much” “i love my hometown and i can’t save it” etc etc and not desperately want to do something to help

sort of meta wise as well because people have critiqued how it’s always rook helping, but not the companions asking rook if they need anything. not to me. not if that was on purpose. a kind of, “i can fix this, and then we can all go home. because that’s what i want, of course. nevermind how these guys have changed my life. i’m sure the hole in my heart doesn’t mean anything”. AND its HEAVY on the lucanis romance. every moment she spends with him, the worse she falls in love, and the more she’s convinced there’s nothing but tragedy to come when he leaves her for the crows. the nuclear level fallout that almost occurs when lucanis says he’ll stay with her as long as he can hold off the crows is so bad. she takes her own duties so seriously and doesn’t expect herself to be what changes things, for anyone. not even necessarily because of low self esteem, but that she is the most pragmatic woman alive, and to a fault <3

you can imagine the weeks when she’s trapped in the fade prison when her family actually shows up like “minrathous just got nuked and my daughter is nowhere to be seen. something has to be wrong. what the fuck happened” and everyone gets about a month to come to terms with the fact that tyche has lied for the better part of a year (not sure about veilguard timeline. i think its minimum 4 months) and unfortunately have to find out a lot more about her through her siblings, and get to stew on that information for a while. i picture awkward conversations and maybe some bickering, and it’s lucanis who is like “well right now she’s dead. so can we focus on getting her back so we can actually talk with her?” <- man who bared his whole life to her and found out she didn’t do the same. i love self sabotage. i think they have a very long talk when she gets back, and the last minute sex has to be shifted a bit in my mind to make some room for what tyche assumes will be a break up speech that turns into a declaration of love and patience. this rewires her brain

aaand the crow stuff (sorry it has taken so long to get here) makes more sense to everyone and how tyche has reacted when they see how much of a unit her family is. tyche can’t picture the kind of betrayal and fighting because she has never experienced it. there’s probably some longing from lucanis here (🌀🌀 oooh you wanna leave your fucked up home sooo bad 🌀🌀) . illario in particular to her is absolutely unthinkable, and despite my adoration for him, tyche hates his guts <3 she also is very close with her grandma and doesn't at all understand caterina, but she's also primed to expect the best from family and it doesn't totally compute what caterina has done until lucanis (or illario. the angst potentials of it coming from illario compel me) actually spells it out for her and then the family dinners get REALLY bad

[joelletwo]

WAIT i never complained abt my scheduling lol. still have not seen my actual boss more than that one five seconds and me and main coworker are supposed to work coverage out amongst ourselves bc thats more relevant fine and okay. but i ask her about what i should switch to going more part time and off of being Fulltime In Training and she says oh ill talk to [boss] about it. and then does and tells me oh [boss] wants to talk to u about that today or tomorrow.

she never does and shes never in her office so i dont hear anything by friday when i work w my second coworker. who i dont really think either of us vibes w the other lol weve been nice but im happy not to work w her. and the feeling is mutual bc she told me oh is this ur last friday i didnt think u were working [boss] told me u were going to be switching to mon-thru-thursday. OKAY? thats really funnily pointed but WHY DID SHE TELL U AND NOT MEEEEEEE. why cant i just know what im working more than two days in advance lolllllll. i am not made for this pwease.

[disengaged]

i wanna live on my own again …. i’m so ready to put my books on a shelf and my clothes in a closet

[ofcowardiceandkings]

feeling oversocialised like an angery little dog

[todayisafridaynight]

YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABT KIRYU HONESTLY

I’ve ranted to friends before abt how Kiryu is just genuinely so stupid that it comes of as dick-ish and inconsiderate to the people around him ESPECIALLY majima like?? He absolutely knows majima would walk through hell for Kiryu and takes full advantage of that in the worst ways and I don’t even think he fully realizes that that’s what he’s doing. Like please I love kazumaji as much as the next person but really only at a very specific point in time when they were both at their least fucked up gsgdfdf (kiwami 1 obv)

All is to say I agree please put the whole rgg fandom in an intro to literature class I think they’d greatly benefit gsgdf

kiryu is one of my favorite characters BECAUSE he's just so ass backwards. like On Paper he's a good guy: left the yakuza and is trying to live a normal life, has an orphanage and takes care of kids etc etc. but then you like. ACTUALLY look into him and its so funny.. he's such a dick and he doesn't even know and i love him. he just wants to do what he thinks is right and SOMETIMES he's right but his judgement also puts other people in peril (i.e. majima and daigo)

[deus-ex-mona]

my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:

[murcielagatito]

tuve como three dif captions for this post pero lo q sea

[erasedcitizen2]

I feel like we as a society have not actually come that far in terms of it being accepted to talk about mental health openly. In online spaces it has but not in real life and especially not in work places. What has become more accepted to talk about is stress specifically. To the point where I feel it has almost become a catch all for 'mental health'. I feel like stress is the only acceptable mental health issue because then at least you were a good worker, you worked so hard it broke your mental health so that's ok you deserve rest and treatment now. But try talking about depression, anxiety, ptsd, bipolar etc etc etc and it's still pretty much something people judge you for, out there in the real world.

[guinevereslancelot]

might get a second job 🤪